Always

Chapter 9

Kouga awoke early; the sky was still a dark blue color, although by the way it smelled, sunrise was not far off. He turned to find Kagome sleeping innocently. He tried to arrange himself so that he was on his side, facing her. In the process, he was placing the weight of his body on the right, and his thigh screamed bloody murder. The leg was healing much quicker than a humans' would, but it still hurt. He hissed with pain, and Kagome stirred, immediately making him regret his actions. She slept on her stomach, her head on a pillow of fur, but her arms resting under the pillow. If she had been standing, she would look like she was defending herself against some dark form that was seeking her soul… She began to move around, shifting herself so that she was on her left side, unconsciously facing Kouga. She smiled in her sleep, and the sight of it made Kouga's heart feel as if it was going to burst. He reached up to her face, caressing the smooth skin and admiring her raven hair. But as lovely as she was when she slept, he loved her more when she was awake. He loved what she had to say, what she did, and most of all, the way she looked at him. He left her face, playing with her dark locks now, intertwining the shiny strands with his fingers. He began twirling them around, his claws separating them and letting them fall.

Kagome woke up, feeling something in her hair. She didn't open her eyes, but felt her hair lift and move. She relished the thought of it all; a man she loved was in bed with her, adoring her just as much. This would never be possible with InuYasha. He could never be… like this. She allowed him to keep playing with her hair for a few more moments, until her hygiene took over, knowing full well that she hadn't had a bath in some time. She opened her eyes only to see Kouga staring right back at her. She smiled gently, he gave her his usual grin.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, and suddenly they were nose to nose. They stared at each other for a few moments, each wondering if it was okay to do what they wanted. Finally, Kagome made the first move. She leaned forward, gently, and placed her lips on Kouga's. His mind racing, the wolf demon wanted to be sure he wasn't still sleeping. So he placed one of his hands high on Kagome's thigh, almost touching her rear.She broke the kiss, quirking an eyebrow at him and clearing her throat.

“Just what do you think you're doing? Have you been hanging around with Miroku?” she said playfully.

“Eh? The houshi? Uh, no. I, uh…” Now feeling foolish, he stammered. He eventually regained his thought and told her that he simply wanted to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Kagome at one point may not have taken this from anyone else, but now it seemed sweet. She smiled seductively at him and whispered to him, “Well, then, perhaps I should make sure, too…”

With that, she kissed him again, and he was pleasantly surprised. Closing his eyes, Kouga pulled her even closer to him with one hand, the other hand pushing her head towards his. He kissed her fiercely, and she reciprocated. Their tongues finding each other again, the miko and the wolf prince were in a contest, trying to show the other just how badly they were wanted. The hand that had been supporting Kagome's head was now running through her hair, twirling it again. Suddenly, Kouga broke the kiss to trail a few kisses along her jawline, paying close attention to her neck and ears when he came to those points. He nibbled and sucked on her earlobe gently, and she hissed with pleasure. He had his other hand on her back, but now it was on her hip, loosening and tightening reflexively; he was careful to avoid her wound. When he began to concentrate on her neck, he grazed his fangs against her sensitive skin, and he noticed many changes. For one, her heartbeat had sped up. He could hear it pounding, although barely, since the sound of his own heart was most deafening. Also, her scent had changed, and he took into consideration that females went through this when they were ready to mate. It had crossed his mind, but he knew Kagome was young. She always blushed, got embarrassed easily, and he had heard her call many a male `pervert'. So, he surmised that although her body was ready, her mind was not. Slowly, so as not to alarm her, he pulled away, leaving her flushed and gasping for air.

Kagome was feeling more wanted and wanting than she had ever felt, and the things Kouga was doing to her stirred a fire that was kindled with every touch. She hadn't wanted to stop, not knowing where it would lead, but she felt Kouga slowly withdrawing. When she had caught enough of her breath to speak, she asked him why he had stopped, and he had told her that there was much to do today, and that if he stayed with her for a few more seconds, he wasn't sure he would leave the cave at all today. Unsure as how to interpret this, Kagome raised an eyebrow, looking at him quizzically. Kouga noticed the look, and laughed heartily. He pulled her close, kissed her forehead, and turned to get up. She hadn't known if he meant that he would want to have sex, or if she just made him want to stay in bed all day, but either way, she figured it wasn't that bad. But am I ready for sex? Do I really want to make that kind of commitment with a youkai from the Feudal Era? Kagome shook her head. No, he's not some youkai from the Feudal Era. He's Kouga, and it doesn't matter what time he's from. A crushing thought hit Kagome with a blow so powerful that her head hurt. He can't come back with me. With InuYasha, I never thought of it, because he could come get me, or I would come here. But with Kouga…

***

Kouga had been stretching and yawning, his tail swishing, getting ready for a new day with the now-rising sun, when he noticed that Kagomes' heart had sped up again, thumping against her ribs like thunder during a storm. He thought that maybe she was ready after all, until he turned to look at her face. He was shocked to find that instead of a smiling, coy Kagome, he found a worried, wide-eyed Kagome. He instantly knelt by her side and put a hand on her thigh.

“Are you okay, Kagome?” he asked worriedly.

Coming out of her shock, she looked up to see Kouga looking concerned. Not wanting to trample on their good times, she tried to toss the thought aside and put on a happy face. So she lied.

“Oh, yeah. I just, um… I think I forgot something I like to bathe with at my home,” she said convincingly.

He studied her face, and approving, he got up again. “Okay. Well, maybe you could get it when we go to Kaede's village.”

“When are we going there? And for what?” she asked.

“I thought we'd go there on the way to get that flower,” he told her.

She nodded her approval. She was nervous to see InuYasha, but she figured that it was better now than later. She brushed her feelings aside, and seeing that the sun was only half-risen, she asked to take a bath. Kouga nodded and told her he would escort her, but he couldn't leave her. She knew the reason, and she figured she would figure something out when they got to the river. Quickly, Kagome picked a few things out of her pack and brought her dress to wash in the river. She also decided that since she was in the mountains, she would wear something that kept her a little warmer. Finding a pair of hip hugger jeans and a turtleneck, she looked for underwear and socks, bundled everything together, and told Kouga she was ready. As they left camp, Kouga was greeted by a few of the wolves that had animal bodies, and told them that they were going to the river, and that they should get breakfast prepared, as he and Kagome were going on a journey together. They barked their approval, and ran back into camp. Kagome giggled, and he nudged her.

“What's so funny?” he asked playfully.

Still giggling, Kagome answered, “It's not funny, it's just cute. How you are with your family.”

“Well, we gotta look out for each other. And it's my job to make sure they stay safe.” His smile fell from his face, turning into a slight frown. “It's my responsibility.”

Kagome had known Kouga for quite a while now, and she knew he was very proud of being the leader of his clan. But was he regretting it now that he wanted to turn his attention elsewhere? He would probably never admit it either… So instead, she smiled at him and leaned in against him. Her bad shoulder on the opposite side, Kouga smiled back and placed his arm around her, his hand resting on her right hip. A few minutes later, they arrived at the river, and Kouga stayed with her but with his back to her, and she cleaned herself in the cold water, wrapping a towel around herself and then washing her dress. She dressed in the slim fitting jeans and turtleneck, and decided that she wanted to put her hair up. Kouga, now watching her intensely, thought her clothes were strange, but he liked how she looked in them. Kagome searched for a stick, and when she found one small and sturdy enough, was able to twist her hair into a bun, inserting the stick to hold her hair in place. Kouga looked on in amazement, and soon she was ready to go. They walked back to camp silently, but they exchanged glances occasionally, smiling. The miko and the demon walked back to the wolf pack, and they all shared a breakfast together, talking and laughing together.

***

Sango had been helping Kaede with a few chores around the house when she noticed InuYasha sulking. Yesterday, he had come back from what she could only assume was the Yourouzoku tribe extremely sour looking and moody. He had refused to eat with them, and he slept away from them, although she could tell that he hadn't gone off to see Kikyou. He had stayed up in a tree all night, and when everyone began to wake, she heard him jump off somewhere in the forest. Now he was back, but staying away from them, sitting under a tree. Either he doesn't want anyone knowing where he was going, or he really had chosen Kagome. But what do I do? If he really did decide, I can't ask Kagome to reconsider, and InuYasha won't be consolable, either. Kagome must be happy with Kouga, otherwise she would have come back with InuYasha. It was what Kagome had wanted - for him to come after her and tell her that he had decided to be with her - and now that he had, it was too late. Typical InuYasha. He always figured things out past their due date. Sango beat a mat so that the dust lifted off of it, and Shippou held it still while she did so. She was still thinking of the new love triangle when the kitsune spoke to her.

“Sango, is Kagome ever going to come back?” he asked almost tearfully.

Sango eyed the little demon woefully, but decided that optimism was the best answer.

“No matter what happens, Shippou, Kagome will always be our friend. So we'll always see her,” the taijiya said, patting the fox demon's head.

He seemed content with her answer, although he didn't smile. They just kept dusting the rug.

 ***

Kagome packed her bag and prepared for their upcoming trip. Kouga checked all the sick once more. When he came back from his rounds, he informed her that a few of the elderly and children were getting worse. She nodded and told him that they should be getting on the road. He nodded in agreement, and checked his thigh. Kagome noticed this, and checked her own wounds. Her shoulder, although not as bad, hurt more than her side. Now Kouga noticed her checking her wounds as well.

“Do they hurt?” he asked, concerned.

Kagome looked up and noticed his stare. She thought it was sweet how he always worried about her first and smiled. “Not much,” she answered softly, “My shoulder hurts more, but I'm worried about your leg…”

Kouga walked to her and wrapped his arms around her, their bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. He chuckled, and squeezed her a little.

“You don't need to worry about me, Kagome. I told you, I heal quickly, like InuYasha. Haven't you seen how he heals? It would take weeks for a human to heal from this, but do you see how quickly this has healed? By tomorrow morning it'll be just like new,” he told her reassuringly.

Kagome nodded. “Yes, I know. But it must hurt more than you let me know. You just like to put on a brave face…”

“So I assume that you are in more pain as well, then?” he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Maybe, but I would never tell you,” she said, releasing him from the hug.

He saw her coy smile, and let her know that he needed to change her bandages. She agreed, and he did so quickly. When he finished wrapping the wound, they got up and Kagome began to pick up her pack, to which Kouga growled. Surprised, Kagome began to turn to face him, but before she could, Kouga took her backpack, trying to mimic her actions, placing it on his shoulders. Kagome giggled.

“Ready?” he asked with a grin.

Kagome nodded, and they began their journey, heading towards Kaede's village.

-----------

Mid-way, Kouga asked Kagome if she wouldn't mind if he carried her; he was anxious to get everything done quickly. She had agreed, so now that they were on the skirmishes of the village, Kouga put Kagome down, and they walked together to Kaede's hut. Kirara had been sunning in the early afternoon sun and had noticed them first. Mewling, she ran to Kagome, jumping into her arms. Kagome accepted the fire-cat, and giggled as she hugged her. Kouga chuckled along with her. Sango, hearing Kirara, came running outside with a knife in her hand.

“What, are you going to chop me, Sango?” Kagome said, laughing.

Sango giggled and ran to her friend. They embraced, but the movement caused Kagome to move her shoulder in such a way that she hissed from the pain. Sango, taken aback, released her. Kouga was immediately at her side.

“I'm sorry, Kagome…” Sango told her friend.

“It's okay, Sango. You didn't know,” she said smiling.

Sango asked her what happened, and she was reluctant. Kouga, seeing that she was uncomfortable, gave Sango an answer.

“She's very clumsy. She was washing her clothes, and there was a beehive, and when they got close, she bumped into…” he began.

“Ah, I see… never mind. We have catching up to do!” Sango interrupted. She took her friend by the hand and brought her inside the hut, also motioning for Kouga to come.

Inside, Kagome caught up with Miroku, Shippou, and Kaede. They all exchanged stories for a bit, and since Kaede and Sango had been making lunch at the time, Kagome insisted on helping. Kouga played with Kirara and Shippou a bit, and he spoke with Miroku. Kagome was pleased with how well everyone got along. She wondered where InuYasha was, but even though she wanted to look for him, she knew that he wouldn't join them. Not with Kouga there. She knew him too well, and it was bad enough how they fought when Kagome was with InuYasha, but now that she was with Kouga? Impossible. To InuYasha, losing Kagome to Kouga was like losing the Tessaiga to Sesshoumaru. Was she InuYasha's human Tessaiga?

When they were done eating, Kagome excused herself, and she went outside, hoping to find InuYasha. She looked in the trees, and found herself in the forest. She kept going, and eventually she made her way to Goshinboku. She went to the tree, caressing the bark, asking it what she should do. The old, weathered wood held the secrets of time that surpassed her by many years, yet she knew this tree in the future. Touching the trunk, she closed her eyes. She was there for a few minutes, and didn't notice the person approaching her.

“Memories?” he said.

She knew the voice immediately. “Of course. I'll have to look at this tree even when I go back to my time, InuYasha,” she said, opening her eyes. She found herself looking into a pair of golden eyes that she had longed for. But that feeling was different now. The anxiousness of acceptance from one you love was replaced by panic. She was afraid that he would be indifferent towards her now. And Kouga? Would he try to take it out on him?

InuYasha stood facing her, and he too reached for the tree, resting his clawed hands on the bark. “If I was a full demon like him, would you want to be with me then?” he asked, his voice angry, but his eyes telling her otherwise.

Kagome sighed and shook her head. “InuYasha, I don't like Kouga because he's a full demon. I wouldn't care if he was human, either,” she began.

“So what if I become human?” he interrupted.

“You just don't get it, InuYasha!” she said angrily, but not raising her voice. “I fell in love. With Kouga. Not because of what he is. Because he was devoted to me. He opened himself to me, took care of me, talked to me… He was trying to be my friend,” she explained.

“I didn't protect you? Or take care of you?” he asked angrily.

“InuYasha. You made me soup once and you protected me from demons, yes. But you never really opened to me. Unless it was about Kikyou. I barely know anything about your childhood, about your relationship with Sesshoumaru, about your father… You wanna know what I know about you? One: Izayoi was a human who was with your father, the Great Dog Lord of the West, and your father lived just long enough to see and name you. And your mother tried to shield you, but she died, and you had a tough childhood. Two: You and Kikyou had a special relationship that was cut short by Naraku, and now, you're obsessed with avenging that relationship. Three: You guard yourself very well, and in doing so, you shut out everyone. Even me! I'm not saying you have to pour your heart out to me, but you never want to tell me anything. But obviously, you have no problem talking to Kikyou, so why don't you go do that!” she ranted, InuYasha staring at her with a scowl through her whole monologue.

She thought she saw tears forming in his golden orbs, but instantly, he was gone. Now upset that she had angered him, Kagome cried. She lowered herself so that she sat on her legs, still touching the ancient tree, and cried. About ten minutes later, Kouga found Kagome crying, and knew that she must've fought with InuYasha. He sat with her, and held her so that her back was against his armor. He cradled her, and she cried. And when she stopped crying, he helped her up, and he carried her back to the village, where they said their goodbyes and left for Hinna Lake. Not a word of InuYasha or what happened was mentioned by either of them.