Kikyo, from a distant cliff, had watched without expression as her arrow snapped in Inuyasha's hands. Anger burned just below the calm exterior at his actions. With Naraku's assistance, Kikyo had planned to acquire Kagome's Shikon shards. The miko cared not whether Kagome was her reincarnation or not. Kagome was an obstacle to Kikyo reaching her goal. Kagome had foiled her chance to drag Inuyasha to hell once already. Killing Kagome would help her gain Naraku's trust as well as removing an obstacle. She knew Naraku would not trust her completely but it would benefit her to confuse him. By keeping Naraku off-balance about her, she would find a way to destroy him. He was responsible for her death and caused the strife between her and Inuyasha. When Naraku was destroyed and she was reunited with Inuyasha in hell, then and only then, will she finally be able to leave this parody of life she acted in.
~*~*~*~
Kagome wondered how the rest of the gang was doing. They were probably worried about her, seeing how she just disappeared. Kagome wondered how Inuyasha would react to finding out that Kikyo had tried to take her life. The hanyou was probably hurt by Kikyo's actions, as he was still trusting of the miko. For once, Kagome didn't feel the stabbing pain in her heart when she thought of Inuyasha and Kikyo. She accepted that he loved Kikyo and only felt sympathy for the sad fate of Inuyasha's and Kikyo's tragic relationship. Kagome sighed and shook her head. It wasn't the time to think of such things. There were more important things to consider at the moment.
In her mind, she saw an image of Rin, smiling with her as they watched the firefly escape from her hands. She remembered the way the little girl had laughed, covered with flour from baking Sesshoumaru's birthday cake. Rin had a way about her that made a lasting impression. The little girl's smile had been comforting when she had been sad and held captive by Sesshoumaru. To think that such a child would be in subjected to the horror of Naraku filled Kagome with rage.
Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at the sudden flare of Kagome's power and felt a chill. Such power... The youkai lord had met many humans in his lifetime, but the number of them that held such power was few. Somehow, this mysterious girl had managed to surprise him once again. Sesshoumaru had thought the girl a mere human when he first noticed her with Inuyasha. She had surprised him by being able to free the Tetsusaiga when he had been unable to do so. But the power he had just felt was far more than he had first thought her capable of. As he had speculated, the girl was special somehow. There was something about Kagome that seemed to pull at him, drawing his thoughts to her even when she was not present.
"Human. That day, when I found you lying in the forest, you have yet to tell me what you have promised. What was that warmth in your heart in the midst of the red sea of pain?"
Kagome stopped in her tracks, staring at Sesshoumaru's back. He wants me to explain that now!? The young miko wondered why that feeling bothered the youkai so much. Doesn't he know what love is?
"Um...you want to know now?" Kagome panicked as she wondered how she was supposed to explain the greatest question of all 'what's love'.
"Seeing as how you might not be around after the battle with Naraku, I thought it prudent that you tell me now."
Kagome made a face at his casual tone, itching to just smack him one. Sighing, she decided to give it a try and just tell him what her view of what love was.
"Eto that so called warmth you felt. I'm not exactly sure what it was. If I was to take a guess, it was probably a feeling of love." Kagome lifted her head to stare at the sky. "Although it was Inuyasha that hurt me, some part of me still loved him."
Sesshoumaru watched the girl as a feeling came over him. It was the same feeling as that time. The time he had discovered his otou-san had left the powerful Tetsusaiga to Inuyasha while he was given the Tenseiga. Jealousy. The youkai almost growled at the errant thought.
"Love." Sesshoumaru laughed condescendingly. "Love. What is that feeling called love? My otou-san professed to have loved my okaa-san. Yet you can see what happened. Although otou-san had her, he married the bitch that gave birth to Inuyasha. Her gift of knowing others' feelings became a curse then. Because of her ability, she felt the love otou-san had for the human woman and the lack of love for her. That same day, her pride shattered, okaa-san left not wanting to see the one she loved bind himself to another. It was only a split second before she left, but in that moment I felt her pain emanating from her. Unfortunately, chasing after my okaa-san, I stumbled upon Ryuukotsui. Luckily, my okaa-san managed to save me but she was not as fortunate. Her emotions in turmoil, she had been unable to make use of her psychic powers to the fullest. It was on that day that she died. Love only bought my okaa-san indescribable pain and death. How can such warmth be love?"
Kagome's hand covered her mouth in shock. I've never really thought about it before, but Sesshoumaru is a full youkai and Inuyasha is a hanyou. It makes sense that they had different mothers. Kagome's eyes widened at a sudden thought. Seeing his okaa-san killed right before him, unable to use her powers because of her emotional state...No wonder he is so cold and unemotional.
"Ie. It is love." Kagome walked slowly until she stood a step away from Sesshoumaru. "To be in love is not always happiness. To watch as the one you loves walk away from you into the arms of another brings an indescribable pain. But the reason that pain exists is because the love for that person is so deep. If I didn't love Inuyasha, his choosing Kikyo wouldn't have caused me such pain. But," Kagome stared into Sesshoumaru eyes that for once, showed emotion. "to explain what love is exactly is beyond my abilities. All I can say is to be in love with someone is to always have that person on your mind. Even when you try not to think of that person, he somehow sneaks his way into your consciousness. To be in love with someone is not wanting that person to be hurt. Loving someone is wanting him to be happy, even if it isn't yourself standing by his side."
Her speech was followed by a deafening quiet that was relieved only by the beating of her heart. Sesshoumaru stood unmoving as he gazed down at Kagome. She couldn't seem to pull her eyes away from his usually inscrutable eyes that seemed to flicker with a multitude of emotions. There was something painfully sad about the youkai that always seemed so strong and impenetrable. Kagome slowly lifted a hand towards Sesshoumaru's face, something drawing her towards him, wanting to comfort the lonely youkai. Sesshoumaru caught her wrist a hair's breath from his face. His hold on Kagome was steady, his eyes not leaving hers. Sesshoumaru's gaze was penetrating as though searching for something in her eyes. Abruptly, with a jerk to her captured wrist, Kagome found herself in Sesshoumaru's arms. Her soft cry of surprise, at the sudden movement was muffled by his lips placed on hers.
Sesshoumaru felt her shock at the sudden kiss slowly dissolve as he slowly pulled her closer. Kagome mind went blank and the only thing left was the feel of his lips moving on hers. She had never felt a kiss such as the one she was receiving right now. Sesshoumaru's kiss made her forget everything around her and brought her to a world that only contained him and her. Eventually, Sesshoumaru broke the kiss but did not release her. Kagome timidly laid her head on his chest while Sesshoumaru rested his chin on her head. Neither wanted to speak, not wanting to break the spell that they had woven. Both had jumbled emotions and yet, neither wanted to move from the position they were in.
Kagome was dazed. She could barely believe what had just happened. Sesshoumaru kissed me, again. And I kissed him back. Her thoughts were in turmoil as she tried to decipher what she felt. She didn't know when she started having these feelings Sesshoumaru, exactly. Before she knew it, her mind would drift to Sesshoumaru, even when she was with Inuyasha. Certainly, she was attracted to the handsome youkai, and the sweet kiss they had just shared certainly proved it. But, it was not just a physical attraction that drew her to the Sesshoumaru. The youkai had a comforting effect on her somehow. When she was heartbroken Sesshoumaru had been there, unknowingly, he had helped ease her pain by distracting her. Fearing for one's life is very distracting, Kagome thought wryly. Despite that, Sesshoumaru had listened to her as she described her relationship with Inuyasha. It had lightened her burden to be able to tell all to someone not in her little group. She still reme mbered how he had placed his hand on her shoulder in front of his ancestral home. It was as though he knew she was in pain. All I know is that this youkai, who has killed so many, makes me feel safe.
Similarly, Sesshoumaru was in a state of confusion, emotions conflicting with long held views. Kagome was human, a breed he despised for their weakness, but she was so different from what he thought. She was strong and she was a survivor. Kagome's strength was not just her strangely strong miko powers but also the strength of her will. Before her, there were none that treated him thus, as though he needed comforting also. For the sake of his land, he had to appear in control at all times and not show weakness. It was necessary that all saw him as cold and powerful, in order to control his lands. Sesshoumaru would have never thought the effect her compassion had on him. Nor did he count on his reaction to her words. 'To be in love with someone is to always have that person on your mind. Even when you try not to think of that person, he somehow sneaks his way into your consciousness...' I'm in...love?
"Did you mean what you whispered to me?"
Sesshoumaru looked down to find Kagome peering at him anxiously. He knew which occasion she was referring to. That time, in front of his ancestral home, he had kissed the girl in his arms for the first time. Before he had left, he had whispered his promise in her ear. At that time, he did not know what had possessed him to say such a thing to a human. The words had felt right. In the months that they were apart, Sesshoumaru had wondered often why he had uttered that promise. It was so unlike him. Such a promise was not one to be made lightly. Did I feel something for her even then? Is that why I made such an important commitment? Even then, I instinctively wanted to protect her. It's similar to my protectiveness of Rin, yet something more. Is this feeling really love? Although he was uncertain of his true feelings, his instincts have never been wrong. Right now, Sesshoumaru's instincts told him that he has found his lifemate.
"If you ever need my strength, come find me. That's what I said and I, Sesshoumaru, always mean what I say. I will protect you."
"But I'm human...don't you hate humans?"
"I wasn't born despising humans. It began with simple dislike. I disliked their stench and their stupidity, but two things changed my views. One, a human was responsible for my okaa-san's death. Directly, indirectly, it made no difference, her death was caused by one. The second incident was during my escape from Ryuukotsui. I had sustained quite a few injuries protecting myself from the dragon youkai. I happened to stumble upon a human village and a band of villagers found me barely managing to keep from collapsing. They ignored me and somehow while I was barely conscious, it seemed as though I could hear their thoughts. One was thinking 'Let him die, filthy youkai' while another thought 'I hope he doesn't die here, it'll be messy to clean up'. I was no better than a pet to them. If they saw an injured dog, they would at least try to help it. Those mangy humans thought that with their limited knowledge, they were somehow superior to youkai. As though, youkai were just uncivilized beasts. They know nothing of our ways, our culture. But you, you are so different from the humans I usually see. You seem not to care that I am youkai or that Inuyasha is a hanyou. You treat everyone as people, judging them based on their deeds."
Kagome hugged him tighter momentarily, wanting to offer comfort. I've seen it happen myself. People have feared Inuyasha on appearance even before he did anything. Some people even shy away from Shippou because the kid is a youkai. No wonder he discriminates against humans. He was discriminated against by humans just because humans automatically assume all youkai are evil.
"But, what am I to you?"
Kagome was glad that he wanted to protect her, but as she had experienced with Inuyasha, protection did not necessarily mean feelings were involved. She didn't want to set herself up to be hurt again. Kagome realized that when she had described what she thought love to be she had described everything she felt for Sesshoumaru. Maybe it was the week she spent with Sesshoumaru, somehow managing to take her mind her problems. Or maybe it was seeing the way Sesshoumaru treated Rin. When they were apart, she found herself dwelling on their first kiss without realizing it. It was uncertain when she started having these feelings for him, but somehow, she had fallen for Sesshoumaru. She didn't need him to proclaim his love for her. She wasn't even sure that Sesshoumaru could love that way, but if his mother could love so deeply, as her son, would Sesshoumaru be able to love also? The doubts she had about his ability to love didn't stop her stubbornly hopeful heart from beating loudly as she waited for his answer.
"You belong to me." Sesshoumaru watched as her eyes lit up, then cloud at his words. She did not want to be a possession. His next words though, dispelled that notion. "I have chosen you. I will pledge my life to you and no other. But in return, I expect the same of you. If you agree to this, then you are my mate."
"I...I don't know what to say." Kagome was mesmerized by the look in Sesshoumaru's eyes at her words. For a moment, she could have sworn they flashed with vulnerability and sad acceptance. It was as though it had been a tentative hope that she would agree. "No no no. I want to be with you. There's just things you have to know about me first." With those words, Kagome once again told Sesshoumaru her story. This time, she left nothing untold. She told the youkai that she was from the future and that she traveled to his time through the Bone Eater's Well.
" I'm not sure if I would be able to stay in this time once the Shikon no Tama is completed. It would not be fair to commit myself to you only to leave you later. And..."
"Just one word. Yes or no."
"Yes, but..."
"That is enough. I will wait for you. Even if it is hundreds of years, or thousands of years, I will wait for you. I will wait until your time if that is what will happen, and I will find you. You belong to me, and now, I belong to you."
Kagome felt Sesshoumaru gently gather her in his arms, too shocked by his words to hug him back. He would wait for her. She had felt his confidence in the words and from what she knew of Sesshoumaru, he never made promises he couldn't keep.
~*~*~*~
Inuyasha felt a sudden chill, as though something that would change his life had just occurred.