All About Air Tulips by Raven_Clover
Summary:

Kagome was a modern girl with modern sensibilities, but there were some things she tried to hide from the group. How was she going to explain this one off?


Categories: Humor Characters: Kagome Higurashi
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 757 Read: 534 Published: 22 Mar 2019 Updated: 22 Mar 2019

1. All About Air Tulips by Raven_Clover

All About Air Tulips by Raven_Clover
Author's Notes:

I don't own InuYash or make any money from this. It is pure fanfiction pleasure. I tip my hat to Rumiko Takahashi for giving me inspiration from her work.

 

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When traveling every day and sleeping every night, around the same group of people, you start to find out their particular quirks - even the gross ones. Kagome never judged her companions, because she was a modern girl, with modern sensibilities. The most she could do was encourage a little bit of hygiene, like taking a bath a little more often. 

Her companions didn't have toothpaste or deodorant, so Kagome brought them this, only after her companions complimented and asked her on how she smells so good. Of course, this thrilled the priestess from the future, and she was happy to share these little tricks. The added bonus was not smelling body odor all day and night.

However, there were quirks that Kagome always cringed from.

Shippo picked his nose. He even would blow his nose into his hand, and then lick it, or smear it on the ground.

Miroku often forgot to wash his hands after jacking off. He wasn't very secretive about masterbating, and it often made Kagome blush at night.

Sango liked to smear some type of ripe smelling demon gunk on her, claiming that it was traditional for demon slayers, especially in helping them blend in and surprise demons.

InuYasha, well, he did a lot of things. He belched, farted, slobbered and gobbled down his food until the food was nearly everywhere, and more. Sometimes, when InuYasha didn't think anyone was paying attention, you could catch him trying to snitch at someone's ass or crotch, like a common dog.

Kagome couldn't claim to be perfect. The diet in the Feudal era was rough on her, and often, she was gassy. The issue was, that she didn't like to pass gas in front of her companions. From experience, her farts didn't smell anything close to roses. It was embarrassing.

She would excuse herself from time to time, during day, or night, just to go to the next clearing over and let it go, or take a dump. She was sure her companions wouldn't care if she let an air biscuit go, but she had her boundaries.

One day, while they were hot on the trail of another shard, Kagome had to briefly excuse herself. Her stomach was killing her and she could feel the pressure of the gas in trying to get out of her intestines. 

As soon as she found a place where she thought no one was there, she let it rip. Seconds later, the foul fart's smell invaded and burned her nostrils. A few moments after that, she heard a twig crunch. 

Kagome froze, hoping it was a fluke, but then became mortified when a male voice was heard.

"What is that enchanting aroma, woman?" 

Kagome knew her face was nearly the color of InuYasha's fire rat top, recognizing the voice as coming from her enemy, Naraku.

"Well girl, what is it?" Naraku asked, honestly curious. "You've always had some sickening sweet smell, and this one is divinely potent."

"An air tulip?" Kagome replied, her comment sounding more like a questions.

Because there was no fucking way Kagome was going to publicly and crassly admit that she farted.

No sooner than Naraku's comment was made, InuYasha charged into the clearing, "Naraku! What are you... *cough, cough, choke*... ah goddammit! What's that hella nasty smell?"

Kagome covered her face with her hands. She totally wanted to die right on the spot. 

"I believe she said it was air tulips," Naraku replied.

"Hiraikotsu!" Sango yelled out, and slung her weapon towards the dark half demon.

The large boomerang cut through Naraku, and revealed to them that it was yet again, a wood puppet. Kagome noticed that Sango had her mask on, and groaned. This day was the worst, she thought to herself.

"An air tulip? You told Naraku that nasty smell was an air tulip?!" InuYasha laughed out loud. "It smells like you shit yourself really! Ahahahaha!"

"Sit!" Kagome's eyes filled with tears as she fumed, and when Sango looked to want to speak, she continued, "No, don't say anything. Just please go back to the others. I need to gather my dignity."

When InuYasha recovered from his sitting, he said, "Hey, don't be mad. Just because your farts are might kill a demon after one whiff, doesn't mean you should be embarrassed. Next time, just toot that fucking horn with pride."

"Shut up, InuYasha!" Kagome yelled, and then stormed off toward the group.

It took several days for Kagome to look at InuYasha or Sango in the face without feeling mortified. 

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