Miroku stood on a wind swept bluff, staring out at the world, holding his breath. Occasional twitches proclaimed his hiccups to the world, despite his attempt to hide them. Unable to hold his breath for too long, he took a gasp and held again.
The demon slayer watched her companion with amusement in her brown eyes. Silently she approached him from behind and placed her hand on his ass, feeling his firm muscles beneath his robes. "I'm pregnant..." Her words were a mere hot breath in his ear.
The monk made a choking noise and glanced back over his shoulder at her. "You... are? Whose...?"
With a frown, Sango slapped him upside the head. "I'm NOT! You think I would...? Why would you even believe me?"
Miroku soundlessly shook his head and looked away.
"No more hiccups?" The girl asked quietly.
The young man grew reflective, assessing his hiccup status. "They're gone... thanks."
"Anytime." Sango smiled and turned to walk away.
"The fondle on my ass was what did it..." The monk winked at her. "You can surprise me ANYTIME like that."
Scarlet grazed the demon slayer's cheeks as she made a hasty retreat. It was best to leave before he got any more ideas.
^.~
Sitting before the campfire, waiting for dinner, the hanyou sporadically gave an involuntary twitch, prompting a kitsune and two humans to look at him.
"Do you have the hiccups?" Sango tentatively asked.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Hanyou don't get hiccups." As if on cue, he gave another twitch.
"Don't get hiccups? You mean like how they don't belch or take baths?" Sango asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Or like how they don't cry or say sorry?" Shippou added with a grin.
"Or take a piss or fart... all things you claim you never do, but we ALL know that you do them." Miroku crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.
"FINE! I have hiccups." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "You happy?"
Miroku offered a half smile. "Kagome-sama..." His voice called across the camp to the girl busy arranging her possessions. "Please come here."
Kagome set down the backpack she had been rummaging through and obeyed. "What is it?"
"Inuyasha was just telling us that he ran into Kikyou-sama and she wishes to join our little group." Miroku chuckled lightly at the looks of misgiving the hanyou gave him.
"I did NOT!" Inuyasha replied, flustered.
Kagome cast him a look that was both frigid and yet burned deep with him. Helplessly he shivered, facing her wrath. Why did Miroku have to lie like that? And why did Kagome have to react so harshly?
"Osuwari!" The schoolgirl stomped away, leaving three by the fire and one crater with a hanyou embedded at the bottom.
Inuyasha pulled himself out of the crater, glaring at the monk. "Why did you have to do THAT?"
Miroku shook his head and waved him off as if the hanyou was an impatient child he had to explain things to. "Your hiccups are gone, aren't they?"
^.~
"That was a terrible thing you did to Inuyasha..." Sango chastised the monk. They sat alone together, staring up at the night sky. Sango had gone off on her own after dinner and Miroku followed her, concerned about her being away from the group at night.
"Is it any better than what you did to me? 'I'm pregnant...' How cruel is that?" Miroku replied, shaking his head. "And touching my ass... I felt... defiled."
Sango frowned at him. "Defiled? How do you think I felt every single time you touch me? Defiled? I’m the one defiled on a regular basis!" Pouting at the stars, she looked away from him, ready to attack should he defile her now.
"Is it really that bad? Do you really feel so degraded when I touch you?" Miroku's words were soft, his eyes holding uncertainty and hurt from her words. "You promised to be the mother of my children... I was only kidding about feeling defiled. I LIKED it."
Sango bowed her head, scarlet crossing her cheeks. "There's a time and a place for that..."
"A time and a place... you mean in the hut we’ll share in the village we settle in?" Miroku intoned somewhat dreamily. "Our children, strong and ready to follow in our footsteps... I come home from working with the village elders and we have dinner. Then when the children are asleep I..." The monk broke off from describing their future. "Well, I like children. The men in my family have never lived long enough to have any more than one child. In my lifetime... I want as many as I can get. I’ll try and keep you pregnant all the time..."
Sango blushed at his words. "You wouldn't be able to be a monk, will you?"
"And you won't be able to be a demon slayer... Does that bother you?" His eyes were on her, hoping to catch any hint at how she felt about the matter.
"I will miss it. I like helping people... but I think I can enjoy being a mother too." Shyly, she stared down at her hands.
His right hand touched hers, resting the gloved appendage in her hands. His dark blue eyes watched her fingertips explore the glove and beads that bound him. His body shivered, feeling her cool touch on the top of his fingers.
"Houshi-sama..." Sango began, still touching his hand.
"Miroku... you may call me Miroku." The monk whispered.
Sango shyly stared down at his gloved hand, unsure about crossing that last threshold. "Houshi-sama..." Her words were firm in their addressing of him. "You still can’t promise me you won’t go around to other women. I will not be a part of a... a harem."
A small chuckle escaped the monk as his dark blue eyes twinkled with amusement. His eyes hinted at the foreign taint within him... a curse that would claim his life in a few short years. "But you'll be my FIRST wife." His tone was soft and filled with teasing. "The more wives I keep, the less work you’ll have to do..."
"Don't you dare pretend that it will be for MY benefit!" Sango growled at him, lightly shoving him away in disgust.
The monk gave a snort of mirth as he fought to keep his place beside her. Sango's fighting spirit was what drew him to her. Her spirit was too proud and strong to give up as many females would. "A wife to cook... a wife to clean... a wife to raise the children..." All his words infuriated Sango, making her more and more jealous. With some difficulty she managed to shove him over onto his side. His hands caught her wrists, pulling her on top of him. "You won’t have to lift a finger..." Gently his hand pulled her hand to his cheek and rested it there. Blue eyes stared up at her for a long time before closing as if in sleep. "I don't want to die."
Sango stared down at him, shocked at the serious tone in his voice. A few moments before he had been laughing about his harem and now... now the monk looked very vulnerable as he lay on the grass. Most men his age thought about their wives and children... and this monk thought about life and death.
"I want to live through this and be a normal man." Opening his eyes, he stared up at her. "A few years ago... All I wanted was to get rid of Naraku. Live or die, I didn’t care as long as I didn’t let him win. Why think about the future when you may not even have one, right?" His hand released hers and he slowly sat up. "I know I'm not the most honest man. Those rich nobles waste their luxuries on themselves... what’s the harm of redistributing what they have? And what would it matter five years down the road when I’m dead? At least I would die knowing some hungry villager got fed because of my ability to take bread from a wealthy man's mouth."
"Houshi-sama..." Sango began, staring down at the ground between them. Sometimes she wondered about his motivations to take advantage of the wealthier people they came across.
"Sango... I've never thought to even rely on anyone aside from myself until I met Inuyasha and Kagome-sama. And I never thought of having a future until..." His words faltered and he gave her an apologetic look and a half smile. "Until I saw your ice cold glare for asking other women to be with me." His half smile faded. “I'm not like my father... I would want my children to know their mother."
Sango was thoughtful a moment, trying to understand his words. "You don't know your mother?"
Slowly Miroku shook his head. "The only family I’ve ever known was father and Master Mushin. I sometimes wonder about my mother... who she was... why she let my father be with her... if she ever thought about my father or me. I wonder if he loved her or if she was just some woman that let him into her bed... and he came back to get me after I was born from her." His blue eyes nervously studied her face. "Maybe he never told me who she was to spare me from knowing she had just been some random geisha or peasant girl. Or maybe she was a nobleman's daughter and my birth was an embarrassment to her family. But I’m not like my father... do you understand?"
Sango shook her head. "I know that you would like to ask every woman you meet to share your bed with you and give you children." Nervously her gaze was fixed on a patch of grass between them, unwilling to look him in the eye, defiantly throwing his actions back at him. His words were of fidelity and yet he had yet to show that aspect of himself.
"Only one woman will give me children." Miroku replied with calmness in his voice.
"Well... if you travel from bed to bed with all your wives..."
Blue eyes stared intently at her. "My children will all have the same mother... and they will all know who she is... they'll never wonder. Their mother will be intelligent and strong..."
Finally her eyes met his. "But how can you tell me that and then insist on asking every woman we meet to give you children? You want me and yet you want to look elsewhere just in case Naraku isn't defeated?"
"Well... you can’t fight pregnant. And there’s still a possibility that I'll die." Miroku shook his head. "I won't get you pregnant now... we need your skills. But maybe another could..."
A loud slap echoed in the night. Sango trembled, holding her heated hand, ready to strike again.
The monk’s eyes watered slightly at the sharp sting on his cheek. Silently he bowed his head.
The demon slayer rubbed at her palm. "You said so yourself, you rely on others now... You think Inuyasha or Kagome would allow your death to be in vain? If you die, we'll finish your fight." Clutching her hands together, her eyes returned to the patch of grass between them. "Besides... I don't think I could ever forgive you for... for..."
Reaching out, his trembling hands wrapped around her body, pulling her into a warm embrace. "I know... That would be unfair of me."
Leaning against him, hearing his racing heartbeat in his chest, she gave a soft sigh of surrender. His fingertips lightly touched her hair and Sango's body gave an involuntary twitch.
With an amused smile, Miroku draped his sleeves around her body, pulling her firmly against his chest. "Shall I touch your butt? Will that make them go away?"
Giving another hiccup twitch she shook her head. "No... That doesn't scare me."
Leaning his head down to hers, he whispered. "I'm pregnant..."
Stunned, she looked up at him, trying to understand his absurd statement. Before she could look away his lips touched hers. The kiss shocked both of them. The monk had not expected to actually succeed in making contact with her lips. Sango pulled away and stared up at him in surprise. "You... you... kissed me?"
"I can die a complete man..." Miroku sighed with a small grin. Her lips had sent wonderful sensations throughout his body from his scalp down to his toes and back up again to settle in his groin.
"You pervert..." Pushing at him, she got up and stumbled a few steps away.
"Sango..." Sitting on the grass with his elbows on his knees, he stared up at her. "Are your hiccups gone?"
Casting him an annoyed look, she nodded in the darkness. "Yes."
"Good." Lacing his fingers together behind his head, he lay back on the grass, watching her leave to return to camp. "And Sango? That was my first kiss, too."
With a blush the demon slayer bid a hasty retreat.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of his friends, that honor belongs to Rumiko Takahashi-sama. I write purely for my own amusement and recieve nothing.
Warning: Some Miroku-like behavior of butt patting, and some razzing of Inuyasha... and some potty humor.
This story won an award at AnimeNorth 2002? 2003? Too long ago to remember.
Author's Chapter Notes:
An epidemic of hiccups brings out secret confessions.
Chapter End Notes:
Glossary:
Hanyou - "Half youkai... half demon"
Houshi-sama - "Lord Monk" What Sango calls Miroku
Osuwari - "Sit!" The Japanese word used to command an animal to sit.