Disclaimer: I own nothing but the cruelty in these letters....enjoy.

This was unfair. Since he couldn't seem to behave himself when he was around people, Kagome had sentenced him to being a Santa for the holiday. However, instead of being around kids and possibly scarring them for life by having them sit on his lap, she had him get a job answering the letters instead. It spoiled his fun as far as he thought, but also relieved him of dealing with smelly, annoying ningen brats.

Though...he could still make SOME use of this menial job.....I mean..how much trouble could he get into?

Letters to Santa

Sitting down to read the first letter with a bored look, Sesshoumaru would scan over the simple childish letter from a child named Billy.

Dear Santa,

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben good boy all yeer.

YeR FReND,BiLLy

Grimacing at the letter and all its imperfections, he would write back a small smirk forming......

Dear Billy,

Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn care specialist. How about this one sends you a book so you can learn to read and write? This one is giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!

This Santa

Satisfied with the letter, he would move on to the next from a child name Rocky.

Dearest Santa,

We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

Love, Rocky

This one would be even more fun than the last, a dark wheel turning in the demon lord's head. Cracking his elegant fingers, he once more grabbed the pen and began to write...

Rocky,

Firstly, stop calling yourself "Rocky," that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Third, I get inside your home just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams!

This Santa

Feeling even better the more he went on the next few would go on without a hitch.

Dear Santa,

I really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?

Timmy

Timmy,

That whiny begging crap may work with your folks, but that shit doesn't fly up here. You're getting a sweater....again.

This Santa

And the next......

Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do, I'm skipping your

Home this year..

This Santa

And even more...........

Dear Santa,

I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really, really want a fire truck this year!

Love, Joey

Dear Joey,

Let this one make it up to you. While you sleep, this one is going to torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.

This Santa

And more....

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

This Santa

And finally.......

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let this one get you some nice Lego's instead. P.S It is your fault somehow, ningen.

This Santa

More than satisfied with himself, if he were a lesser being he would have laughed. None the less, the demon lord would seal each letter and head to off to deliver them, a small smirk on his face that promised enjoyment on his end and no one would be the  wiser....

This Christmas would not be a total loss....

A few days later, Sesshoumaru would be feeling more jovial than he had been in days....even the hanyou had not been able to ruin his mood and his mate and pup were ecstatic. No one seemed the wiser and Kagome had said nothing about his letters. Perhaps he had finally gotten away...

Once Christmas day would come, all gifts would be torn open and exchanged between family and friends, with one gift that was saved to Sesshoumaru from Kagome. Her smile had been secretive and he was told that gift was especially for him and it was too opened at night once the guests left.

Impatient, he was more than glad once they had all left and Tsukimaru had been put to bed. He just knew that Kagome had something sexy in it for him and his good work...opening the box, he would go from smirking to puzzled as he pulled out a blanket and a note.

"I know what you did Sesshoumaru.......and you will be sleeping on the couch tonight. Merry Christmas! Love your mate, Kagome."

At that he would hear a noise and turn to see his mate all sexily dressed for bed......with a dark smile on her face...and he was not invited. He would follow but only find that a barrier blocked him from their room. It was going to be a long night.......

So much for getting away with it.....but how did she know? His mind whirring as he settled on the couch. He had written the letters and dropped them off to the center Kagome had directed him to.....

All at once it clicked and he sighed slightly. "Damn."

Upstairs, Kagome would have ALL the letters he wrote strewn out over the bed. Reading them and grinning slightly, she shook her head. "I knew I couldn't trust him."

She would most likely relent though and though he slept on the couch tonight.......he would have a nice "gift" in his stocking in the morning.

A/N: If you are lost...she set him up because she knew he was going to do something messed up so she had all the letters made up. She is not going to make him suffer all night though....