That idiot. That stupid, rediculous, foolish, utter, idiot! He always assumes I don't know, that I'll never find out. He takes me for naive.
I had a hard time deciding what was worse. The fact that he lied and expected me not to catch on, or the fact that I did catch on. Ignorance is bliss after all. Bliss is what I longed for, as well.
No, it was definately the first one. If he didn't have to make anything up, I wouldn't have anything to catch him with. If I didn't have anything to find, there would be no potential heart-ache later on. Stupid Inuyasha. Stupid me. Stupid, stupid stupid...
My mind was running frantic. I was so upset my hands had began to shake and my heart was beating dangerously against my chest, threatening to break my ribs. My feet pounded against the floor as I paced quickly in time with the frustration coursing through my veins.
If only he hadn't told the group he was going to Totosai to get Tetsusaiga rebuffed. If only I hadn't believed it and called him out on it before he left. If only I hadn't stumbled upon him and Kikyo kissing in the forest bordering Kaede's hut. If only, if only, if only. There was nothing left to do but wish.
Soon, my anger turned into tears viciously flowing down my face in a bitter rage. I fought off the sobs beginning to build in my chest, trying to surpress them. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to look at him. Not now, not ever. I wouldn't be able to stand it if I would. I would unravel at the sound of his voice.
I set eyes on the shards of the Shikon No Tama sitting neatly in their little glass bottle. Even those tiny pink fragments set me off. Looking at the pathetic things sent a wave of anger, and frustration, and, dare I say, sadness. The shards made me think of him. Which was the last thing I wanted at the moment.
On impulse, I grabbed the miniature bottle and threw it across the room and into my door. The bottle shattered everywhere, the shards scattering and mixing into the broken glass. If I couldn't sense the difference between the fragments, I wouldn't have a clue which was which.
"Kagome?" My mother called from downstairs, "Kagome are you alright?"
"Yeah, Mom!" I responded, trying to calm my shaking voice, "Just knocked over a picture frame.
I held my breathe for four seconds of complete silence. These moments would make or break the chances of my excuse. If she didn't believe me now there was no way to salvage the lie. She would come up here immediately to see my broken bottle. I would be so dead.
"Alright, dear." She said at last.
My breath slipped from my lips in a heavy sight of relief.
Before I could let the glass sit there any longer, I scurried over to the spot in front of my door, and knelt down. I picked the glass shards from jewel shards haphazardly, throwing the glass out of the way, and as close to the far wall as possible.
Accidentally, one of the shards pricked my finger. I gasped in pain, but soon the endorphins had kicked in and washed away the hurt with a throbbing release. I looked down at my finger to see the little trickle of warm blood flow down my finger. It gently slid down the lengths of my palm, then my wrist, until I grabbed a tissue and wiped the blood away.
The sight sort of excited me. I had never really seen anything quite like it. To watch blood slowly diffuse from a minor cut was like watching a flower wilt as seconds passed. It was beautiful in a morbid way.
I felt behind me, searching for the glass I had thrown earlier. Desperately, looking for a larger, sturdier fragment. When I found one, I studied its jagged edges. So sharp. So harmful. So perfect.
I dragged the glass gently over my wrist, careful not to break the skin yet. The tension in my wrist was growing as I could feel it throbbing from the gentle raking of the sharp edge of the glass. The blood inside me wanted to overflow, wanted to leave my veins and clear my mind of all of this emotional madness. It wanted to be so.
As time ticked on, I gradually increased my pace and pressure, letting myself adjust to the new sensation of pain that it brought on each time. Before long, I was ready to break the skin. My blood was crying out to me, telling me to free it from its restrictive walls. So I did.
Before I could gain any common sense, I pressed hard into my wrist, making a clean cut across the veins and arteries. The crimson blood was oozing from the wound, dripping down my arm in a slow rush. It hurt a lot at first, but the endorphins I was craving kicked in and wiped my pain from memory just as the bleeding began to slow.
The last thing I could remember was dabbing gently at the cut, applying pressure to aid in the stopping of the bleeding.
Story Notes:
*Rated PG-13 for language and such
I make no guaruntees there are no spoilers, but I don't intend on including any. But just in case you're wary of spoilers, be cautious.
As well, it's not all crazy drama depressing-ness. There is quite a bit of humor jammed in there that particularly doesn't fit, but is always fun.
**My first fanfiction, so feel free to leave some critisism and help me get better throughout this story. I'm not just writing it for me, y'know.**
Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter is sorta morbid, in an interesting way, or at least I thought so. If you don't like it, try to bear through it a little bit. This chapter doesn't exactly set the plot for the rest of the story, it just sorta lets you see Kagome slip from happiness, to something else.
Chapter End Notes:
*There may be some spelling issues. I wasn't always the best with spelling. Otherwise, though the chapter isn't exactly lengthy beyond belief, I don't think it's too bad of a size.