Balsamine: Impatience

Thank you Daniella for beta-reading!

Pink Carnation

Chapter 5: Balsamine

The rain was falling hard against the window, imitating the sound of rocks hitting the glass. Kagome was leaning against the edge of the window, her palms firmly pressed against the wood, peering out into the darkness of the night. She was on her tippy toes as she pressed her face forward, feeling the coolness of the window.

She heard him coming, and knowing it meant hot chocolate was on its way, she began to feel excited. After a long last glance outside, she rushed to the couch where she covered herself with a yellow blanket. Tonight was movie night, and some stupid storm wasn't going to ruin it.

Every Saturday night when he didn't have work they would watch a movie while she would stuff herself with the most sugar high foods there was. Usually, it resorted in him sleeping over or rather them falling asleep on the couch and the next day they would go out for breakfast.

"If you don't hurry, I'll pick a romance movie."

"You wouldn't dare."

She knitted her eyebrows together, as the voice sounded distorted and strange. Confused, she rose to her fee, before rushing to the kitchen. The room was completely engulfed in blackness, making it rather difficult for her to see. She stretched her hand in front of her, trying to grasp him but all she felt was the void.

He was gone.

A gasp escaped her as she sat up in her bed, chills going down her spine. Kagome blinked a few times, her heart throbbing in her chest as she rapidly gazed around trying to recognize where she was. The environment was very unfamiliar to her since she could not remember living in this condo. Nonetheless, she slowly felt at ease as her fingers glided across the silky sheets.

She was home, in her bed.

Home. It was a bittersweet word when your hands had created such a home, yet you could lose yourself in it. She had spent the previous day trying to locate everything and there were still many things she failed to find. The desire to get started from scratch by re-doing the apartment had crossed her mind more than once but in the end she had decided against it.

Changing everything was like giving up on her memory.

Perhaps one day she might have no other choice but for now, it was what she wanted. Kagome kicked the blankets off her body with her feet before sighing heavily. Ever since the accident, it was harder each day to wake up. However, today was particularly difficult since she had experienced such a strange dream.

It was the first dream she had since losing her memory. Maybe the reason why it left her hazy was because her brain was trying to connect pieces of memories with dreams? Did that even make sense?

Just as she was about to fall on her back, ready to groan in frustration, the scent of pancakes filled the room and it brightened her spirits. Her mother's pancakes.

When Kagome was younger, her mother would always make pancakes for her on particularly bad days. She hurried to put on her slippers before rushing out of the bedroom still wearing her pajamas.

"You still own those?"

Kagome stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Inuyasha's voice. She had called him the night before when she had first arrived at her apartment but he hadn't picked up. A smile adorned her face as she closed the distance between them wrapping her arms around his neck.

A small chuckle escaped Inuyasha before he turned into the embrace. Considering the fact that Kagome had never been a morning person, this was a nice change. She remained in his arms a bit longer, happiness still present on her face until she remembered what he said.

"Hey. Winnie the Pooh never goes out of date."

"You're going to wear that? The whole night?"

"As a matter of fact, I am. You should know that Winnie the Pooh never goes out of date. Afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me?"

"I can't promise anything."

"Kagome?"

Her head snapped in direction of Inuyasha as she broke out of her reverie. What in the world had just happened? For a second, it had felt as if she had been somewhere else. Everything had been so fuzzy and blurry.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy."

"Then sit down, stupid!" said Inuyasha; irritated that she hadn't voiced it earlier.

He grabbed her by the shoulders before guiding her to the closest chair and assisting her in sitting down. Kagome gave him a quick nod as a sign of thank you as he joined her at the table. Honestly she didn't know what happened, but she didn't exactly like the cold chills it had given her.

Kagome could feel both her mother and Inuyasha giving her concerned looks. "I just woke up too fast this morning and it caught up to me. I'm fine."

Miyu smiled, appearing to believe her as she brought her a plate of pancakes and put it in front of her. It had been more than dizziness, she could tell since Kagome's eyes had become empty. But, since Kagome didn't want to dwell upon it, she would not push the issue.

"I thought you had work today," said Kagome, as she took her first bite out of her breakfast.

Inuyasha shook his head. "They said you had to stay put for the first few days, so I took off work to come hang out here."

It wasn't completely true. He hadn't told Sesshomaru he wasn't coming in, but he was sure his brother would figure it out soon enough. The bastard! After the way he had treated him he didn't deserve a warning. Inuyasha could not come in whenever he pleased. Plus, Kagome was more important than work.

Though, since she was confined to inside the house he didn't know what they were going to do. He also couldn't forget the fact that her mother was present meaning they would most likely have to include her which would lead to them having no time alone.

He could not wait for the next couple of days to be over. Then, it would be only him and Kagome, just the way it was supposed to be.

-P-

Sometimes, he wondered if she was not worse than Kagome when it came to stubbornness. Once again, Sango hadn't understood that he didn't want to be bothered. It hadn't been enough that she been calling his office every day, and his home all night. No, now she had taken things to a new level.

She was standing in front of him, in the doorway. Why couldn't he have thought she would do so, and why had he opened the door so quickly? Closing the door in her face would be rude and though it seemed tempting, he did the polite thing by moving out of the way allowing her to walk in.

Sango had a proud smirk on her face as she headed for Sesshomaru's kitchen. She hadn't been in his house as often as Kagome, but she knew her way around. The only real reason she somewhat knew Sesshomaru was because they were both friends with Kagome and had learned to be around each other because of that.

She sat down at the table, ready to confront him.

Perhaps it could see almost a little obsessive, but she simply couldn't trust her friend whom she considered like a sister being in Inuyasha's care. Plus, she had always been rooting for Sesshomaru and Kagome to get together. This whole memory loss could be very damaging towards the goal.

No, she wasn't doing it out of a selfish need to see her friend being with someone. Sango knew Kagome and it made her aware that she felt something for Sesshomaru. Unfortunately, Kagome had always been a little slow to realize and react upon those kinds of things.

And now, well, she didn't even remember Sesshomaru, which was a major set back.

Granted, he wasn't always the most talkative and warm person, but that was with others. When it came to Kagome, he treated her differently. He gave her exactly what she needed from someone.

Now, she had spent the whole night thinking about their problem and finally she had come up with an answer. Of course, it would most likely provoke some kind of fight but she strongly believed that in the end, it would be worth it.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I am here?" she taunted.

"Because of Kagome," he casually replied as he joined her at the table.

She rolled her eyes. Obviously. Why else would she almost become his stalker? "I think you should win her back."

Her words left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. "She was never mine to begin with, nor was she ever going to be."

Right. She wasn't supposed to know about his feelings. "It was going to happen eventually."

When he didn't seem convinced by her words Sango found herself fighting the urge to play dirty. Why shouldn't she? Inuyasha was using Kagome's memory loss so perhaps she could do the same. After all, her statement could not be verified.

"I would know something about it."

He didn't want to ask. No, wait. He shouldn't ask. Whatever Sango and Kagome might have spoken of, it was a private conversation between the two of them. He was surprised that she talked about him. As his uncertainty grew, he began taping his fingers against the table, pondering on what was the right thing to do.

She knew he was hooked; all he needed was the extra push. Kagome hadn't technically said anything with words, but Sango had sensed it. It was the same right?

"Kagome and I are close friends, and she tells me a lot of things."

Sesshomaru put a halt to his fingers, as he made up his mind. "Even if such things were to be of any real interest to me, what would you have me do?" At this point, he couldn't have her. "She believes she is still dating the worthless bastard and she cannot be reminded of what she does not remember."

A bright smile appeared on Sango's face as he pointed out the obvious. "Exactly!"

When he arched an eyebrow she sighed. "We can't tell her how close you guys were, but it doesn't mean you can't be close to her anymore. What does she think your relationship with Inuyasha is like?"

She believes lies. "That we are on speaking terms."

"Good," said Sango, almost refraining herself from having an outburst of joy. "Then, I'll have a little talk with Inuyasha and he will go along."

The tone of voice she used nearly scared Sesshomaru to the point where he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what she would tell his half brother.

"Then, all you have to do is come by Kagome's sometimes. We can even organize friendly meetings at my house. Tell her we are friends and what not. Then, you can work on gaining her trust again and as things go along… who knows."

He wanted to tell her that the idea was stupid, that it would never work and that he was not interested. The problem was, he couldn't forget about Kagome and if he had been able to befriend her once he should be able to do it again. No the real problem was that he was scared.

When she had not recognized him it had felt like a rejection. If she flat out refused his friendship, he wasn't sure how he would take it. It made Sesshomaru sick to his stomach to realize how weak he was for her but it was not a side that could be held back. He loved her, he cared for her; she could not easily be forgotten.

"You know, this time her heart's not broken."

Even though it hadn't been voiced out, Sango knew it was the reason why Sesshomaru had never made any real move on Kagome. He was afraid she was still too vulnerable or that perhaps she didn't wish to love again. She believed it to be complete crap but if Sesshomaru trusted into that idea, at least this time around he couldn't hide behind it.

"All I'm saying is you don't have to be a ghost in her forgotten past. I'll deal with Inuyasha and you just ease yourself back into her life."

"What gave you the idea that I wanted to be back in her life?"

The smile on Sango's face faded as she rose to her feet. She turned her back on him and headed for the door as if she was going to leave without a word. However, Sesshomaru's impression was wrong.

"You love her. You won't leave her in his hands." She paused. "Just give it some thought, please."

Maybe it was too soon but she couldn't stop herself. Sango didn't know Sesshomaru very well, but she was aware that if she took too long he would simply lock himself up and he wouldn't show himself to others again. Plus, he wouldn't be the same person he had been with Kagome with anyone else.

So technically, she was doing it for his sake as well. Unfortunately for now, all she could do was hope her words had some sort of effect on him. The best was to leave him alone to think it through.

And then, she closed the door.

As soon as she did, Sesshomaru ran his fingers through his hair, sweat beads forming on the side of his head. Before the incident his life hadn't been perfect but at least he had always known she would be by his side. Now, if he wanted her, he had to fight again.

Just how much of himself was he supposed to sacrifice?

He had devoted every day of an entire year to her, only to be erased as if he meant nothing. Now, he was supposed to practically beg for a place by her side?

Was anyone worth such humiliation?

Yes, she was the light in his life. Before her, he had never felt this way before nor had he ever brought shame upon himself. But when it came to her, it didn't matter.

Yet, could it be that now he had reached his limit?

Would he be able to let her walk away, without voicing his plea? Could he watch her make the same mistake over again without uttering a word? Was he able to watch the only woman he had ever loved…love someone else?

He didn't know anything anymore.

-P-

Kagome was slowly going in and out of consciousness as she laid her head against Inuyasha's shoulder. Since they were lacking options when it came to activities they had settled on watching a movie. However, Kagome was having a hard time focusing and staying awake. But, apparently it was normal.

The doctors has told her that the first few days it might be difficult for her be on her feet for too long, or staying up late, and he encouraged daily naps. Of course, she was stubborn and she was doing her best to tough it through the movie. Plus Inuyasha had taken the day off for her, so she couldn't exactly leave him alone.

The more time passed, the more he felt her leaning in and he knew he was going to lose her soon. This hadn't been quite what he had in mind when he thought about spending time with her but since Miyu was still around, it was the best they could do. All he needed to do was to be patient for a couple more days.

Though he had to admit, it was nice to be able to hang out with her again.

It was in moments like this that he realized just how different Kagome and Kikyo were. With Kikyo, it had always been a struggle to get her to do something for him or to do something he enjoyed. Kagome on the other hand would do almost anything he asked just so he would be happy.

He much preferred that hence why he wouldn't have done anything to lose her.

Inuyasha still wished he could explain things so the others would start forgiving him, but he rather Kagome never remembered so they could be together without any trouble.

"If you're tired, go lay down."

His words snapped her out of the sleepiness as she raised her head. "No I'm okay."

"Keh."

Kagome sat up straight on the couch doing her best to keep her eyes wide open, keeping herself awake. It was at that moment that someone knocked on the door causing both Kagome and Inuyasha to glance at the door. Miyu however, was the first one to react.

"I'll get that," she said as she stopped preparing lunch and aimed for the door.

Both Inuyasha and Kagome waited as Miyu opened the door. Inuyasha couldn't explain why but he had this sudden fear that Sesshomaru was the one interrupting them. He had never been provided with the full answer as of what his brother's relationship had been with Kagome and he didn't like it.

Plus Sesshomaru hated everyone, so why care about Kagome? Not that it mattered at this point since he wouldn't have her in his life again, but nonetheless.

"Good afternoon Sango! Are you staying for lunch?"

The name uttered made Inuyasha breathe easier while Kagome smiled brightly. It seemed to recharge her energy a bit to see her best friend so she jumped on her feet and dashed for the door. As soon as Sango came in view Kagome hugged her as if she hadn't seen her friend in months.

Sango smiled as she returned the embrace, before taking notice of Kagome's clothes. "Oh my god! You still own those?"

Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she pulled away. "I am not getting into this conversation again."

"Again?"

"Yeah, Inuyasha told me the same thing this morning."

Sango did her best to keep a neutral expression as she tilted her head to the side, peering in the living room. As a matter of fact, there he was, sitting in Kagome's couch, not a worry in the world. She wanted nothing more than to tell him to leave but in Kagome's mind they were all friends.

"Hey Inuyasha."

She would get him back later.

He nodded at Sango in sign of greeting before focusing his attention on the movie once again. The glare she had given up was causing him to have an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn't right. He waited a few more seconds before glancing at the girls who were on the way to sit at the kitchen table, probably to gossip.

He was going to leave them alone and finish the movie by himself when he realized that he preferred being around Kagome since he didn't know what Sango might say. Right now it seemed everything was fair game, and he wouldn't be taken advantage of.

He quickly grabbed the remote before shutting off the TV and heading in direction of the two women. Once he reached Kagome's side, he trailed his fingers on her shoulder before pressing a kiss on top of her head. He could feel the daggers Sango was sending him with her eyes, but he ignored her as he sat down.

"As I was saying," said Sango, obviously aggravated by Inuyasha's interruption, "we should go to the restaurant, all of us together, next Friday. It would be a nice chance to catch up with everyone."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed.

"Sure, that would be fun."

Kagome knew nobody had changed; yet she felt slightly nervous. She would have to catch up on everyone's life from the last year and it was making her feel bad. It would be fun though to be with all her friends again.

"Who's all of us?" asked Inuyasha suspicious.

Sango held back a smile since she knew his reaction was going to be priceless. "Us three plus Miroku and Sesshomaru."

"Sesshomaru?"

Kagome, who hadn't expected such a reaction, was startled by the tone Inuyasha had used.

"Yes, Sesshomaru," said Sango smiling at him. "You two have been talking more lately so I thought why not."

"Oh that's true. Sesshomaru told me you guys were getting along better lately."

He had to have heard wrong. "Sesshomaru told you that? When?"

Kagome frowned; was it her or him who had a memory problem? "When he picked me up from the hospital with my mom. You couldn't make it, so you asked him… remember?"

The whole situation was going much better than Sango had hoped for, except for the fact that it was hard to keep herself from laughing. Inuyasha looked about ready to blow up in anger and it was giving her a very satisfying feeling. Now that he had been cornered, no matter what he said, he wouldn't fully be able to get out of the situation.

"Yeah. Of course. I asked him," he mumbled.

The bastard. Was he doing this to get back at him? Why would he lie? Why would she lie? Could it be that Sesshomaru was not only friends with Kagome, but with Sango and Miroku as well? What was it with that fucking bastard? He was not satisfied enough with his own life that he had to steal his in every way? His friends, his girlfriend.

He didn't care what kind of plan they were scheming, he wouldn't hand Kagome over. Inuyasha was aware that they were trying to keep him out of her life, but even if he had to put up with Sesshomaru, he would stay with her.

"Then I guess we're all going then," said Inuyasha, his tone betraying him a bit.

"Great," added Sango, putting her best smile on.

Now the difficult part was to convince Sesshomaru. She perhaps should have talked to him prior to now, but the idea had only formed itself when she had been on her way to Kagome's apartment. The important thing was, Inuyasha was taken care of, and Sesshomaru had an excuse to be in her life again.

The sudden silence was interrupted by Sango's cell phone. She picked it up, only to see her boss' caller ID. "I have to go," she said, as she rose to her feet.

Kagome joined her as she walked her friend to the door while Inuyasha remained sitting down. Both friends hugged and Sango felt bad about leaving her alone with the idiot.

"I promise, we'll do a girl night this week," said Sango as she pulled away. "Only if you promise not to wear that though," she teased.

Kagome shook her head. "These pajamas are fine; I don't know why everyone's picking on them."

Even thought she was pretending to be offended, Kagome did find herself pondering why she had kept them and why she had started wearing them again. Those pajamas had been in her closet for years and she had kept them perhaps because of their sentimental value, but she never thought she'd wear them again.

She hadn't really thought about it when she had slipped it on. Kagome had simply picked the first thing in the pile. Perhaps she had started to feel nostalgic a while back and she had fallen into the habit of wearing it again.

"See you later," said Sango, breaking her out of her dreamland, as she exited the apartment.

Kagome stood in front of the door feeling a bit frustrated. She hated trying to remember without being successful. Not only that but now she was going to a friendly supper with someone she didn't even remember befriending. It was actually a bit weird since Sesshomaru hadn't seemed very friendly when he had picked her up.

Could it be that she was the only one not familiar with him?

"Inuyasha?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

He turned his head in her direction noticing her back was still facing him. He easily recognized the tone in her voice so he stood up, setting out in her direction. "What's up?" he asked as he arrived by her side.

"Am I friends with Sesshomaru?"

The whole situation had been annoying, but now it appeared that it could be turned around and used to his advantage. Sango had forgotten to be precise, and now it was his job to put the pieces together however he wished.

He shrugged his shoulders, doing his best to look as if he didn't care. "Not really. I mean ya all talk and stuff. But, you ain't really friends."

She pinched her lips together, before nodding. It was as she had figured. It wasn't like she thought he was a bad person or anything, but from the glimpse she had gotten of him, they wouldn't along very well. He was too cold, stoic, and silent for her taste and she figured someone as enthusiastic as her would do nothing but get on his nerves.

"What about you guys? He only told me you were on speaking terms."

Inuyasha still didn't like the fact that she had been alone with the bastard but he held his tongue. "We mostly did it because of the old man." Though Sango had mentioned them hanging out… Damn it. "But he ain't so bad."

"I'm glad you to managed to get along," she said offering her best smile.

Kagome ran her fingers through her hair before a yawn escaped her. "Do you mind if I go lay down?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I'll just finish the movie. Go lay down."

"Thanks," she said before pressing a kiss against his cheek.

Inuyasha watched her walk away, his heart feeling heavy. Why was he feeling so bad? He hadn't done anything wrong! It was all Sango's fault. Every time he saw her, it brought back the past and it always made him so nervous. She needed to learn how to butt out.

As Inuyasha turned around, ready to head back in the living room, he noticed Miyu. The whole time she had been standing in the kitchen, definitely in hearing reach. Suddenly, his blood froze in his veins. He had never quite been told what Miyu knew, since the others stopped talking to him. However, when she didn't cease her phone calls, he assumed they never told her anything.

In spite of that, with the way she was glancing at him, he wasn't sure it was all true.

She had a smile on her face, as if nothing was wrong, but he could sense it. He could see in her eyes that she was aware of the lies he was telling. But, he wasn't the only one lying… so why should he be the only one feeling bad?

When she never gazed away, he nodded at her, his uneasiness clearly showing on his face, before leaving the kitchen.

Now, he really couldn't wait to be alone with Kagome. All the guilt these people made him feel was becoming unbearable.

-P-

"Sesshomaru?'

No answer.

"Sesshomaru?"

Slowly, his eyes cracked open as he glanced upon the lively girl lying beside him. She had a huge smile on her face as a slight blush appeared across her cheeks. She proceeded to hide her face with the sheets, unable to hold her giggle in any longer.

He almost rolled his eyes.

"Are you sleeping?"

He opened his eyes wide. "Yes."

"Liar," she said before poking her head out. "I can't sleep," she said before turning on her back.

"As per usual when you drink two coffees before going to bed," he noted with a neutral voice.

Slowly, he sat up in the bed pressing his back against the headboard. He knew it wasn't because of the coffee that she couldn't sleep. Ever since then she didn't like the darkness. He had to admit, it scared him as well but he wouldn't voice it out. Instead, he would play along; pretend to believe she had too much energy to find rest.

"It's not my fault. You tempted me with all that whipped cream!"

She followed his example, by sitting up in the bed. Rest wasn't coming to her tonight and although she felt a bit bad for waking him up, she couldn't stand being awake alone. The nights where he wasn't there were already hard enough as it were. When he was there, she liked taking advantage of it.

"Sesshomaru?"

"Hn."

"Do you find me bothersome?"

Her question took him by surprise. His amber orbs became larger as he inclined his head a bit, peering her way. "Bothersome?"

She nodded. "I feel so needy."

Oh but he wanted her to be needy. Nobody had ever required his help and comfort in the past and he wanted to provide her with that. Bothersome? No. Lovely, and emotional? Perhaps. But he wouldn't have her any differently.

He knew what this was about, and it only made his rage towards the bastard grow stronger.

Sesshomaru turned his body, and gently grabbed her chin with his fingers. He then turned her head so she was facing him, their eyes meeting. "What would be bothersome would be to not have you in my life."

Kagome glued her lips together, feeling the tears coming to her eyes. Never would she have believed Sesshomaru to be like this or even be able to feel emotions. If it hadn't been for that night, she wouldn't have known how kind hearted he was. She knew her life wouldn't be the same without him in it.

She pressed her forehead against his, before slowly nodding. "What are you doing losing your time on me?" she asked, half laughing. "You should let one of those million girls you have chasing you actually catch you."

His heart constricted at her words. The one he wanted to be caught by already had him in the palm of her hand but she wasn't aware of it. "Perhaps," he said, unable to find any other way to answer her.

Kagome smiled, as he released her face. Sesshomaru laid back down on his back, before stretching on his arm, gesturing for her to come closer. Her grin grew, as she hurried to lay her head on his chest, and wrap an arm around him. His hand protectively rested on her shoulder as he gently rubbed it.

As he felt her so close, her body heat transferring to his own body and he found himself wondering if she knew what she was doing to him. It was all innocent he was aware of that, but sometimes, it was hard to keep himself in check. He was a man after all, and he was deeply in love with that woman.

She was also so close, yet he could never taste her.

Despite the fact that sometimes it made the ache worse, he was grateful for the closeness. She never hesitated in touching him or seeking his warmth, which he appreciated. Never once had it seemed to cross her mind that not all friends did that. After all, how many times did she sleep over, and how many times did he share her bed?

But they needed each other.

He felt her snuggle unto his side and he squeezed her against him a bit tighter. She was his angel.

His fallen angel and he would take care of her until either she would perhaps return his feelings, or until she retrieved her wings.

And that was the thought that scared him the most. What if one day, he had to release her? What if she fell in love again? Then, she would be ripped away from him. Never would she smile that way for him if her heart was taken.

But he preferred having her in his life with the risk of losing her, than not having her by his side at all.

His eyes snapped open as sweat beads dripped down his back. He didn't have to move to know he was drenched in sweat. The dream had been so vivid, and he knew it was because it was nearly exact to a memory he had with her. He hurried to sit in the bed before running his fingers through his wet hair.

Why did he have to be reminded of such thing now?

Wasn't he confused enough as it was?

Though it was true; in the past he had prepared himself in the eventuality that he would lose her. Nevertheless, he never though he would lose her to Inuyasha. He rather that a complete stranger took good care of her, in the place of that foolish bastard who would break her heart again.

And it was then that he realized he couldn't walk away from her. She might not remember him, but he remembered promising that he would always take care of her. It was his duty to make sure nothing happened to her until she was ready to fly on her own.

She still wasn't ready.

If he had to suffer to see her truly happy, then so be it.

He might not try to win her heart, since he was not worthy of it, but he would put himself through hell to retrieve her from Inuyasha' arms. She would be awkward in front of him and he wouldn't be allowed to comfort her or touch her, but she would be near.

For now it would be enough, it would ease the pain he had been feeling.

Kagome was the last person he had in his life. He barely talked to his father except when it came to business and his mother had passed away back when he was younger. He had allowed her to break the walls he had built, he couldn't back away now.

His heart was still pulsing like a drum as he reached out for his cell phone. He remembered the message Sango had left on his answering machine. Sesshomaru had planned on not responding, but now, his mind was made up.

Quickly, he called his secretary telling her to relay the message to Sango. He didn't feel like talking to her himself because she would ask a million questions and he wasn't one for talking. Except when it came to Kagome.

Although she was very talkative, and rarely gave anyone a chance to speak.

Once it was done, he put his cell phone away before rising to his feet. He could feel the stickiness covering his body and he knew he needed a shower. As he put his slippers on, he found himself gazing at his desk. Proudly on it was a picture of the two of them.

It had been taken a while back while they had been at a baseball game. Kagome was wearing a hat, which was way too big for her, causing it to nearly cover her eyes while she wrapped her arms around his neck. Of course, he was not smiling, but his face was pressed against her.

He could still remember how soft her cheek felt.

Sesshomaru felt like laughing at himself; was he really that obsessed with her?

His heart feeling heavy, he reached out for the picture and picked it up. He then proceeded to open the drawer and he put it inside, hiding it from his view. In the likelihood that Kagome would never recover her memory, he had to prepare himself to forget the past.

If she couldn't remember, he had to erase what they had and build a new future. Even though there was still hope, he refused to rely on it. Sesshomaru had unfortunately learned in the past that hoping didn't get you anywhere in life.

With a kick of his knee, he slid the drawer closed before turning his back to it. His house was still filled with memories of her, but it was a start. Maybe he needed to do to his place what had been done to her apartment; remove everything.

After all, except for when she was there, he barely spent any time at all in his house. She had made it theirs, but now, he was alone again.

Realizing his thoughts, he shook his head. He refused to think about such things again. He took a deep breath before reminding himself that he would take care of her again. He would put up with the sight of her and Inuyasha together, watching her from afar.

It was the only safe way to be around her.

Apparently, she was worth wounding his pride.

Oh, whom was he kidding? When it came to her, he had no pride, no shame. He would do anything to see her smile again.

-P-