InuYasha wiped the water off his shoulders and flung his silver hair back. The wet droplets plastered his skin for the fourth day in a row. Youkai blood was extremely hard to clear the scent from, and this one had been no exception.

InuYasha shook his head hard, letting the water fling in all directions. His silver hair feeling so smooth, so alive again, if felt good. His wings shook under the cool water, but InuYasha had gotten used to it. The first time in the small lake had been a shock for the thin, layer wings, and he had actually yelped when jumping frantically out of the water.

“Kagome…” InuYasha sighed, how he wished in that fight, she had been there. Not to just help locate the shard, so he wouldn’t be submerged in youkai blood, but to have just been there. InuYasha let out a snort when something Sesshomaru had said when they had been fighting for Tessaiga, came up.

“You’re faster when that girl is around.”

InuYasha shuddered; have all he wanted had been blinding him all this time? Ever since his mother died, he had been alone, alone in the world, hated for what he was. Believing being a youkai would have solved all his problems, he pursued an angry, destroyed life.

When discovered by both Kikyo and Kagome, the entire perspective of his hate changed, and almost willing to turn human, the other was to stay the way he was. InuYasha looked down at the waters reflection, his red eyes, his purple, savage stripes, and his long threatening fangs. A youkai, not respected, but feared.

InuYasha pulled himself out of the water and pulled his hakama over his wet legs. Squatting down, he shook his long silver hair and black wings until his body became damp. Stretching the muscle in his wings, he soared back into the air and let the wind dry him.

InuYasha looked down at Keade’s village, the small huts looked dark and silent, only Keade’s hut still smoked, indicating that all inhabitants were still awake.

‘Probably, waiting for me to come back.’ InuYasha thought. He was just about to descend when a flash of white came from near the Goshinboku. InuYasha whirled around to see soul collector’s dancing on the top of the branches of the large tree.

InuYasha felt a lump come squeezing up his throat. InuYasha took one look at the human village and flew towards the God Tree.

As the hanyou approached the roots, Kikyo stood there, her hand on the spot where he had been sealed for so long. She turned to him. Something in her eyes showed relied, and even some anger. InuYasha looked at her, his face as complex as hers.

“InuYasha…”

“Kikyo…”

“You’ve changed.” She looked more intently at him.

InuYasha looked down; his wings made a smacking noise, much unwanted at the moment, and moved his bare foot on the smooth root that belonged to the Goshinboku.

“Kikyo…is there something you need?” InuYasha didn’t want to sound harsh, but he couldn’t stay in either Kikyo’s or Kagome’s presence.

“InuYasha…” InuYasha flinched as her hard fingers touched his cheek, tracing his visible stripe. InuYasha blinked, Kagome had done that once, and then they both had…kissed.

InuYasha took her hand and slowly pulled it away from his cheek. What was Kikyo trying to prove with that gesture? That she was trying to change her own mind on how she wanted to see him?

“Kikyo…why did you want to go to Hell with me?”

The question stopped her cold. Kikyo took her hand out of his palm and took a small step back. InuYasha could tell she was pondering his question.

“Kikyo…you don’t have too…”

“No. InuYasha I wanted to be with you. Even in Hell...” Kikyo looked back at him, but InuYasha’s snarl interrupted her.

“Kikyo! You or I don’t belong in Hell! Kami, damn it! You deserve better then that! You deserve…better then me.” InuYasha looked away. He had wanted to say that to her for so long. It was Naraku that belonged in Hell, him and his evil Onigumo soul.

For awhile the silence edged the two figures under the God Tree. The soul collectors swarmed around them, one or two occasionally dropping another soul into Kikyo’s body. InuYasha felt a pain of guilt; he wished she was human…so she wouldn’t have to take all those innocent souls.

“I deserve better then you?”

InuYasha flinched. “Yes you do. I don’t want to have to prove to you that.” He turned to her. “Kikyo, I can’t accept my own forgiveness for what I’ve done. I swore to protect you; you were killed by Naraku and sealed me. I swore to protect Kagome and I couldn’t even protect her from myself! You BOTH deserve better then me!”

InuYasha let out a breathe and looked back at Kikyo. She stared at him, her face as emotionless as before, but her body showed something different. Her body had involuntarily flinched when he yelled the word ‘both’.  

“Kikyo…once we were together, I loved you, I kissed you, I protected you, and I failed you. Now I’ve failed Kagome, Kikyo, I have failed the both of you.” He turned away and looked back up to the sky.

He was about to shoot up, but a hard-clayed hand stopped him. InuYasha looked into Kikyo’s dark eyes that now showed emotion. Concern, sorrow anger, pain, showed through those eyes that had belonged to a miko that was once alive. Her ponytail swayed in the wind as she had approached him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“InuYasha…yes, you have failed.” InuYasha blinked and felt horror shot through his system, but Kikyo gave him a stare, indicating she wasn’t done.

“InuYasha, you have failed with me, Kagome, my reincarnation, you have not. Failure is where you have completely given up all hope, I still see hope in your eyes about her. Kagome will be as strong as I was if she learns. InuYasha, don’t fail her, for if you do, you won’t disappoint just her or I, but yourself.”

InuYasha watched as Kikyo moved away from him and over the patch on the Goshinboku where his back had been once fasten too.

“InuYasha if I could go back I would. But I cannot; only we can go forward.” She looked at him again. “Go to her, and give her what you could not complete with me. InuYasha, give her that, and I might…”

“…Be free?”

She looked at him again; her clay body shuddered at the comment. “Yes…I’ll be free.”

And she was gone, the clearing only blowing slightly with the weak wind. InuYasha blinked, the whole time he had known Kikyo and Kagome, he thought she had hated Kagome. He had just been proven wrong; Kikyo just doesn’t want him to break another’s heart.

_~~~~~~~_

InuYasha looked down the well, the black mouth of the wood, yearning, taunting, begging, and tempting him to throw his smaller body down that hole. InuYasha tightened his grip on the edges, his red eyes glowing down the dark mouth. InuYasha closed his burning eyes and shot his wings flat on his back and made the faithful leap.

InuYasha felt the familiar pink light take him and shot him thru time. InuYasha looked up at the gaping hole, not to find a starry sky, but the wooden ceiling of the well house.

InuYasha moved his wings a slow and steady and slowly floated out of the well house. Pulling his body on the edge of the branch, he saw Kagome’s body curled in her bed.

InuYasha slowly unclipped the window, and slowly and silently, slipped in. He sat next to her bedside, staring at her crescent face. Her beautiful brown eyes remained closed, her black hair ruffled and messy, spreading over the covers and around her shoulders. Her face glowed from the reflection of the moon coming through the window.

InuYasha noticed how tensed she was, and for a horrible moment, he thought she knew he was there. He watched as she clutched something in her hands, tighter.

“InuYasha…” InuYasha froze, his whole body gone ridged as his name was spoken by the sleeping miko. InuYasha looked at her clutched hands again. Was she having a nightmare about…him? InuYasha wanted desperately to hold her, tell her how much he was sorry for all the physical and mental pain he had caused her.

“Kagome…” InuYasha leaned down quietly and took her palm in his hand. He felt her hand tighten around his clawed fingers.

“InuYasha…Osuwari.” InuYasha felt every hackle and hive in his body shot up ready to impound into Kagome’s bed. But nothing happened.

InuYasha slowly opened his eyes and stared at her. He fingered his bare chest and looked back at the sleeping miko. Her eyes remained shut and tight and she slowly let out a small groan and turned slightly.

InuYasha heard the faint sound of beads coming from Kagome’s hands. He slowly moved his palm to where Kagome was clutching the rosary tightly. He felt himself get rather uncomfortable, he wanted to get away from her, he had already experienced her once, even if he hadn’t been the one doing it. Now, his body was screaming at him to take her again, but with passion and as a youkai mate.

InuYasha felt like he had grown roots and was trapped to the floor. He slowly bent over her, his hands firmly to his sides.

“Kagome…” He whispered, she fidgeted and his lips just brushed hers. His hand moved towards her loosening palm, and slowly pulled the rosary away. Then she suddenly jerked her head, and crushing her lips to his. InuYasha felt his eyes widen, and his face grow hot.

It was then he realized he was kissing her. She moved her tongue into his opened, shocked mouth, and then suddenly leaned back and sank her head slowly back into her pillow.

InuYasha pulled away, his face probably looking stumped. He took the beads and started to back away.

“Kagome…” InuYasha looked at her upper lip. The wound had healed…but the scare still remained. He slowly crawled out her window and headed back to the well house.

InuYasha fiddled with the beads, this was the chance to get rid of them for good, but he felt not hatred towards the rosary now. He wanted them for only one reason, to protect Kagome from himself.

InuYasha slowly hooked them around his neck, they glowed light blue for a second and then fell heavy on his shoulders. InuYasha sighed and took one look at Kagome’s shrine.

He dove back to his era, clutching the beads as if they were his sanity. As he saw the starry sky of the Feudal Era, he snapped his wings out and shot up like a bird.

Keade’s village came into view and InuYasha let out his breathe that he had been holding for quite sometime. ‘How long am I going to regret being with her?’ He thought. He really didn’t think that kiss was intentional, but it sure felt like it.

InuYasha was about to descend when a nasty, sickening pain shot up his back and into his legs. InuYasha’s eyes widen and screamed. His wings! InuYasha suddenly began to plummet, his wings screaming in pain all the way.