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Guilty Hero

Chapter 23: The Right Reason

“Unhh…” 

From the very second Inu-Yasha regained consciousness, he had no doubt that his was the worst, head-pounding, stomach-churning hangover he’d experienced in years.  Hardly able to move, for his head raged at him and his stomach was a roiling mess, he let out a soft groan and nuzzled his face deeper into the pillows, keeping his eyes shut tight.  He slowly took a deep breath to try and calm the battle behind his temples, and when he did, a soothing scent washed over him, taking his mind off his misery.

For a moment, he lay still, enjoying the strange relief the scent offered, but soon his curiosity got the better of him.  The origin of the scent was incredibly familiar, but his bleary brain lacked the energy to put much thought into the matter, so he decided to just see for himself.   Cracking open one bloodshot eye, he braced himself for the harsh barrage of light on his senses, but, much to his surprise, it never came.

“Wha…  Whyzit dark…?” he murmured, turning his head just enough to peer around the room.  Everything was shrouded in shadow, the only light being the few, weak beams from the street lamp outside that streamed in through the window.  “…Still night…?”  Although quite confused, for he rarely awoke in the middle of the night, it was a nice relief on his senses, and he was able to see clearly with only the dim light.  Blinking hazily, he gazed around in search of the scent that was so comforting, then stopped dead at the sight of its source.

Kagome was in a deep sleep next to him on the bed, her head resting against the headboard.  A book lay open on her lap, clearly indicating that she had drifted off while sitting by him.  Having her so close was enough to make his cheeks burn red, but what was the most embarrassing was the realization that he had been sleeping with his face pressed up against her side, mistaking her for a pillow.

“Uh…uh…  I-I didn’t mean nothin’…  I-I was just… uh…”  Uncertain of what to do, he stuttered stupidly for a moment, failing to notice that Kagome did not hear a word of his rambling.  However, he abruptly stopped speaking when she let out a soft whimper, her lips curving into a slight frown.  “Huh?”  Peering closer, he realized that she was shivering from the chill in the room, for she was lying on top of the blankets rather than under them.

Carefully, so as not to wake her, he tugged the blankets out from under her and gently pulled them up over her shoulders, gladly retreating under their warmth himself as he did so.  “Shouldn’t sleep without blankets…” he muttered under his breath as he worked.  “You’ll catch cold…”  Quickly shutting his mouth when she stirred, he kept deadly still as she slowly rolled onto her side, afraid that he had awoken her and that she would notice their close proximity.  He was certain she would be furious if she realized he had practically been cuddling her the entire time, but his fears were ungrounded.  She merely uttered a soft sigh and sunk deeper under the covers, in a deep sleep once again.

Letting out a groan, for his headache was pounding with a vengeance at him for moving around so much, he slowly sank down into the pillows, this time making certain to keep a healthy distance between him and Kagome.  If he could, he would have opted to go sleep and the couch and give up his bed to her, but he sincerely doubted he would be able to make it more than a few steps before his hangover would have him quivering on the floor.

But still…  Glancing over at the sleeping woman next to him, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh as he rolled onto his side with his back to her, so that way he could avoid any more snuggling sessions that might occur in his sleep. 

I guess… this isn’t so bad…

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With a wide yawn, Kagome slowly roused herself, stretching as far as she could to ease the kinks out of her muscles.  “Ah…  What a good night’s sleep.  Hm?”  Blinking, she slowly sat up and saw that she was in Inu-Yasha’s bed, covered up with his blankets.  “Oh.  I guess I fell asleep here yesterday…  But when did I get under the covers…?”

A light blush staining her cheeks when she realized that she had just spent the entire night sleeping with Inu-Yasha in the same bed, she quickly looked to the side and saw Inu-Yasha lying as far away from her as possible, scrunched up into a tight ball.  Oh dear…  He must be so embarrassed… 

Deciding to be nonchalant and pretend nothing happened, she reached over and shook his arm.  “Inu-Yasha?  Are you awake?  You’ve been asleep since yesterday morning, you know.”

“Urgh…”  The lump let out a dreadful moan at the sound of her voice and huddled further under the covers.  “Too loud…”

Relieved, at least, to see that he wasn’t about to yell at her, she withdrew her hand and flung the covers off, trying not to shiver in the chilly air of the room.  Padding around to the other side of the bed, she crouched down next to Inu-Yasha, smiling at the sight of his fuzzy ears poking out from beneath the blankets.  “Inu-Yasha…”  Once again, she gently shook his arm, trying to gain his attention.

After a couple of growls, Inu-Yasha finally pulled the blankets down enough to peer at her with one bloodshot eye, clearly displeased to be disturbed.

Kagome smiled in return, resting her chin in her hands.  “Good morning.  I take it you aren’t feeling too well?”

“Hmph.”  Pausing only long enough to give her a red-tinged glare, he tugged the covers up once again.  He hadn’t fully gone back to sleep since he had awoken in the middle of the night; his hangover had been bad enough that he was only able to doze off and on, and the fact that there was a woman sleeping a few inches away from him destroyed any possibility of real rest.

With a light chuckle, Kagome patted his arm as she stood up.  “I’m going to go fix breakfast.  I highly suggest you take a shower while I do that; you’ll feel much better if you get up and move around a bit.  As I said, you’ve been asleep since yesterday morning.”

He slowly  poked his face out from the blankets.  “…Yesterday mornin’…?” he mumbled.  “I been sleepin’ that long?”

Kagome sighed softly, so low that Inu-Yasha didn’t catch it.  “You had a busy night after the gala, and you needed some time to recover.  I thought it best to just let you sleep.  Now,  come on, get up!  It’s already ten o’ clock!”  She gave one of his ears a playful tweak, then laughed lightly at his irritated growl in response as she left the bedroom.

Frowning at the doorway once she left, he carefully pushed himself upright, shutting his eyes as a wave of dizziness swept over him.  All of his joints popped and groaned at the movement, and his muscles complained violently as well.  After sitting still for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass, he let out a low groan, rubbing his face to attempt to force his brain into action.

Looking over to his left, he slowly reached out a hand and laid it on the mattress, feeling the residual warmth of Kagome’s body on the sheets.  He couldn’t help but wonder why Kagome ended up next to him in bed.  He hadn’t forced her into it, had he?  Did she climb in on her own?  He doubted that possibility, but another logical explanation failed to present itself.

“Oh…”  Heaving a sigh, he shook his head and pushed himself out of bed, groaning as his muscles set up a fierce protest.  While such thoughts did require his attention, he wouldn’t be able to focus until his hangover receded a bit; and, since Kagome had yet to steer him wrong, he decided to follow her advice and go take a shower.  Hopefully after that he would be able to figure out just how much he had missed in his day-long slumber.

Once he gathered a fresh set of clothes, he paused once in the doorway and looked back at the bed, where there were two impressions of bodies in the sheets.  He frowned slightly, realizing that it must have been Kagome who had made certain he was in bed in the first place.  Most mornings after the gala he woke up under the kitchen table or in the middle of the living room floor, which was never pleasant, especially with the violent hangovers that accompanied consciousness.

Another sigh escaped him as a wave of gratitude washed over him.  I hope I didn’t do anything to hurt her this time around…

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Kagome hummed a nameless tune as she scraped some scrambled eggs onto two plates, waiting for Inu-Yasha to finish his shower.  She wasn’t certain if he would want anything to eat, but thought it best to be prepared in case he did.  Toast popped out of the toaster soon after the eggs were done, and the coffeepot stopped gurgling as she started to butter the bread.  She nodded in approval; she had always taken pride in the fact that her sense of timing was impeccable when it came to cooking.

“Hm?”  She heard the sound of a door opening, a clear sign that Inu-Yasha was finished with his shower.  She quickly pulled a mug out of a cabinet and poured a fresh cup of coffee for him, wanting to have it ready when he came into the kitchen.  She knew that even though he had probably slept off the worst effects of his hangover the day before, he was certain to still be ill for the rest of the day, and she hoped that some strong coffee might ward off some of the aches and pains that were to come.

As she set the mug down on the table next to the plate of breakfast, she glanced over at the empty whiskey bottle and tumbler still setting at the other end of the table along with his abandoned cigarettes and ashtray.  She shook her head, laughing silently at herself.  As much as she hated to admit, she had hoped that by fixing a nice breakfast for him, he might not be quite so violent upon seeing his handiwork from the night of the gala.  It was a foolish hope she knew, for he was not the type to notice such little efforts, but she was very anxious on how he would react.

A loud yawn broke into her thoughts, and she realized that Inu-Yasha was coming down the hallway.  Automatically she tensed, for the sight of his splintered side table was waiting to greet him.  Taking a deep breath, she turned around and slowly walked to the doorway of the kitchen, preparing herself for his reaction.

When she peered out, she saw him standing right by the pieces of wood, blinking at them in confusion.  He crouched down and picked up a larger piece, studying it closely.   Running his fingers over the surface, he sniffed the wood, then dropped it suddenly, his eyes going wide.  Quickly, he whipped his head around to look at Kagome, who took a step back in surprise.  She watched in confusion as his eyes ran over her, obviously searching for something, but after a moment he dropped his gaze to the floor and let out a soft sigh.

He set the wood back on the floor and climbed to his feet, brushing past Kagome as he went determinedly into the kitchen and glanced around, frowning deeply as his eyes came to rest on the empty bottle.  Slowly, he prowled about the kitchen, discovering the cigar tin and the second empty bottle on the floor and removing the folded medal from the sink.  Depositing the items next to the ashtray on the table, he collapsed into a chair and stared at the collection, looking quite disgusted.

Kagome watched his search with a fearful fascination, wondering the purpose of his actions.  Was he going to explode in anger?  Was he going to sit and fume silently?

“I…Inu-Yasha?” she asked softly, slowly going up to stand by him.

“What happened?” he growled suddenly, his hands clenching into fists next to the whiskey bottles.

“I…  What?”

“What happened?!” he snapped again, pounding the table and making the tumbler jump.  “I can smell fear on you.  If I was drunk enough to smash a table, then I was probably drunk enough to hurt you.  Dammit, Kagome, what did I do this time?”

“Inu-Yasha…”  Realizing that his anger was not at her, but at himself, she approached him and knelt next to his chair, looking up into his face.  “Inu-Yasha.  You did not hurt me.  You have to believe me.”

He peered down at her, still looking upset.  “But I must’ve done something…” he insisted, nudging the medal with his finger.  “You left these out to show me how bad I was, right?”

Feeling a bit guilty for making him so upset, she slowly shook her head.  “Not quite.  I just wanted you to know the results of your actions.  When you drink like that, your emotions become so intense that it’s hard to handle, and often things end up like your side table.  I don’t want—“

“Kagome.”

She abruptly stopped talking at the seriousness of his tone.

He turned his red-eyed gaze on her, looking very severe and stern.  “Kagome, are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”

For a moment, she struggled to come up with an answer.  She did not want to heap even more guilt on a man who had drunk two bottles of whiskey dry as a result of guilt, but he seemed so sincere in his desire to know the truth that she could hardly keep it from him. 

With a heavy sigh, she regaled to him the events of the night after the gala.  For the sake of his pride, she neglected to mention his weeping session, although she did include how he opted to use her lap as a pillow, and his request to keep her close by the next morning, if only to explain how they woke up next to each other that morning.  Throughout the tale his face burned with guilt and embarrassment, and his fists clenched and unclenched as he held himself back.

Once she finished, he remained silent, staring blankly at the empty glass in front of him.  He was quiet for so long that finally Kagome stood and walked over to the other end of the table, giving up on any hope for a response.  “I wasn’t sure if your stomach would be up to it, but you haven’t eaten in over a day, so I fixed some breakfast.  Help yourself, if you like.”  She nudged the plate toward him.  “Here’s some coffee as well.  I knew that even if you couldn’t handle food, you could always use a cup of coffee, right?”

Slowly, he pulled his gaze away from the tumbler and onto the plate of food, anger seeping into his expression.  “Why do you do it?” he growled, glaring at her.

She took a step back in surprise.  “What do you mean?”

“Why do you always do this?” he snapped, waving his hand at the food.  “Even after all the hell I put you through, you still do all this stuff for me!  You make coffee, you make sure I’m in bed with a pillow and blanket, you always help me get over my hangovers, you never get mad at me—dammit, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

“I-I…”  Kagome could hardly think of a response to his sudden outburst.

“I just don’t get it!  There’s gotta be a reason for it!  No one else has stuck around as long as you!  Hell, no one else has been as nice as  you!  What is your problem?!”

“I-Inu-Yasha, I don’t know what…”

“Why?” he interrupted, staring fiercely at her.  “Why do you do it?  Is it for the money?  I bet Sango and Miroku are paying you big bucks to waste your life here with me—“

“How dare you!!”

Inu-Yasha suddenly shut his mouth when Kagome let out the shriek, blinking in shock at the strength of her response.

She stared down at him, wide-eyed and trembling with fury.  “How dare you!” she said again, any trace of her usual gentleness chased away with anger.  “Do you really think I’m in this for the money?!  Is that what you think of me?!  You think I suffer your foul moods, clean up empty whiskey bottles, and haul your drunken ass home from the Tap because of money?!”  She strode forward until she was right in his face, jabbing a finger into his chest to emphasize her point.

“Did it ever occur to you that I actually care about you?!  That I breathe in nasty cigarette smoke, nurse you through your hangovers, and try and be available for you as much as I possibly can because I want to help you?!  You are so selfish, saying such things about me!  I have half a mind to go tell Sango and Miroku to stop paying me altogether, if that’s what it will take to get you to believe my intentions—“

Inu-Yasha, who seemed to be getting angrier the more Kagome yelled at him, finally snapped.  Smashing his fist down on the table, he shouted, “Dammit, Kagome, I wanna stop drinking!!”

“I will go over to the headquarters right now and—wait, what?”  Kagome interrupted herself when she realized what Inu-Yasha had just said.

Scowling furiously at her, he snarled, “I said, I wanna stop drinking!”

All of her anger suddenly seemed to dissipate upon hearing his words.  Staring stupidly at him, she could hardly form a coherent thought.  She had certainly been waiting a very long time to hear such words, but had never expected to hear them in such a situation.  “I…  I…  Well, why?”

With his scowl still firmly in place, although now he appeared to be more gruff than angry, he finally looked away and glared at the floor.  “…I’m sick of it…” he growled, his cheeks starting to burn red.  “I hate waking up all the time and wondering if I’ve hurt you the night before.  I’m tired of sayin’ such mean things that hurt your feelings.  You shouldn’t have to keep that sort of stuff from me.  Hell, you shouldn’t have to deal with it at all.”

Dragging his gaze up to look her in the eye, he continued, “You shouldn’t have to be afraid of me all the time.  I want to protect you, Kagome.  And if I’m gonna protect you from myself, then I gotta stop drinking.”  Nervously watching her reaction, he finished, “Will you help me?”

Kagome, who had long ago been struck speechless, remained silent, staring at him.  Slowly, tears started to well up in her eyes, and her bottom lip began to quiver.  Inu-Yasha flinched at the sight, his own bluster giving way to guilt for making her cry.  “K-Kagome, I…”

Suddenly, she reached out and flung her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder as tears began to fall.  “Inu-Yasha…” she said, her voice muffled by his t-shirt.  “You’re so mean.  The one time I get mad at you, and you just snatch it away…  I can’t stay mad at all when you say such things!”

Letting out a sigh of relief that she wasn’t angry at all, he carefully pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.  “I’m sorry I said that about the money,” he mumbled.  “I just find it hard to believe that someone…  someone actually cares enough about me to do what you do.”

Kagome sniffed, slowly pulling away so she could look him in the eye.  “I meant what I said.  I’m going to continue doing everything that I have been, because I want to see you get better.  It’s as simple as that.”

He swallowed hard.  “Does… does that mean that you’ll help me to stop drinking?”

A sad smile appeared on her face.  “Oh, Inu-Yasha…  That was sweet, what you said…  But I can’t help you to stop drinking.  Not yet.”

His jaw dropped open in surprise.  “What?  Why?  Don’t you want me to quit?  I-I can’t do it by myself!”

“Inu-Yasha, of course I want you to quit!  I’ve been waiting for that day since we first met in the hospital!  But you need to quit for the right reason, and giving up alcohol just to protect me is not the right reason, flattering though it may be.”

He frowned in confusion.  “Then what’s the right reason?”

“I can’t tell you.  You’ll have to figure that out for yourself.”

Carefully, she climbed off his lap and stood up, smiling down at his frustrated expression.  “Inu-Yasha.”  She lifted his chin up so that he could look her in the eye.  “I know it doesn’t make sense right now, but you have to trust me.  Eventually, things will get better.  All right?”

Still looking a little confused and forlorn by her rejection, he nodded  silently.

“Hey.”

He glanced up once again to look at her.

“Is it true that you want to protect me?  You really do like me?”

Flushing a tomato red, Inu-Yasha softly replied, “Yes.”

Her smile broadening, she bent down and kissed him on the forehead.  When he looked at her in surprise, she said with utter sincerity, “Thank you.”

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“Come along, Kanna,” Muso said impatiently, shivering in the chill and glancing nervously around at his gloomy surroundings.  “Let’s finish our visit and get out of here.  How anyone can live so far below ground is beyond me.  It’s so dank and depressing…”

“If you don’t like it, perhaps you could help further the plans rather than complain,” came a sharp feminine voice from the shadows ahead, and soon a beautiful, dark-haired woman stepped out from the deeper recesses of the tunnel.

Raising an eyebrow at the comment, Muso replied, “My dear Kagura, I would if but any of us knew what exactly the plan is.  So unless Lord Naraku has made you privy to more information than myself, I suggest you stop giving out such poor advice.”

“Hmph.”  Her red eyes flashing in annoyance, the wind witch Kagura whirled around, snapping her fan shut as she moved.  “Come along.  Lord Naraku has been waiting.”

The final stretch of the journey was made in silence, until at last it ended in the innermost bowels of the largest cavern, where all three travelers were bathed in an eerie purple glow from the pulsating shield erected in the room.  Muso immediately stepped forward while Kagura hung back against the wall.

“Lord Naraku, Kanna and I have returned.”

“Were you successful?” came a deep voice from behind the shield, the odd tone enough to send shivers down Muso’s spine.  He was hardly one to be intimidated, but his creator held that power over him.

“We did succeed in capturing several shots of the fool Inu-Yasha that may be of some use to you.  His antics at the gala did not go unnoticed.  Kanna?”

Silently, the ghostly white girl stepped forward and removed the ever-present camera from around her neck, easily passing it through the barrier.  For a few moments there was silence as Naraku explored the camera’s contents, making his children rather anxious in the interim.

At last, they heard the deep voice ask, “Who is this girl?”

“Her name is Kagome Higurashi, my lord,” Muso replied promptly.

“And what is her relation to Inu-Yasha?”

“We are uncertain.  Although he does not seem to care for her presence, one is hardly seen without the other, so we find it to be rather confusing.”

“Hm.  What else have you learned about Inu-Yasha?”

A bit surprised by the questions, it took Muso a moment to answer.  “Um…  He has no known profession, although we are certain he still works for the Order.  He does not appear to have too many peers other than those two pathetic humans.”

There were another few moments where nothing was said, until at last the camera was tossed out of the barrier and into Kanna’s hands.  “I will not be prepared to emerge for some time yet.  Go out and gather more information.  Anything that can be used against that foolish pup is of use to us.”

Muso bowed.  “Of course, my lord.  Kanna?”  He quickly strode out of the cavern, eager to be back on the surface once more.

“Kagura?”

The wind witch slowly stepped forward at her master’s request, clearly displeased at being addressed.  “Yes, Lord Naraku?”

“I believe it is almost time that we make our little dog friend aware of my presence.  How would you like to make a trip aboveground?”

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Ha!  I do love a good cliffy.  Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and please, leave a review!