The chapters' titles will be based on flower meaning;

Pink Carnation: (I'll never forget you)

Sunflower: (Pure and Lofty Thoughts)

Thank you so much to Daniella for beta-reading!

Pink Carnation

Chapter 1: Sunflower

The bright sun was burning her eyes as she painfully opened them. A deep sigh rolled off her lips as the rays of the light danced upon her grey orbs. She carefully stretched her arms above her head before plumping herself in her bed. All the blankets were gathered at her feet, while half her pillows were on the ground.

She tilted her head to the side and glanced at her open windows. From the fifth floor of her apartment building the view was almost breathtaking. She slowly rose to her feet and dragged herself towards it, before lowering herself on the edge, sticking her head out, the gentle breeze playing with her long ebony locks. She took a deep breath enjoying the fresh air, while a smile adorned her face.

The sun had just risen, and the magnificent colors were still present in the bright blue sky. It was her favorite moment of the day; the one instant that reminded her that hope was everything. Once upon a time, the sunrise nearly saved her life.

She lingered a bit longer, before tearing herself away from the window, and swiveling around setting out for the kitchen. Her apartment was fairly simple and cozy, but she was rather fond of it. It had been part of her new beginning, part of her starting a new life. Then again, all of it had happened a long time ago. One long year had passed since the moment she had taken hold of her own life.

With his help of course.

She raised her head to peer at the collage of pictures she had assembled in her kitchen, right above her stove. Plenty of pictures were of her with her friends, but one of them was with him. Sesshomaru. She unhurriedly extended her hand and dragged her fingers across their faces.

The picture had been taken four months ago when everyone went to the attraction park. She had ice cream on the tip of her nose, while Sesshomaru was busy wiping it off for her.

He was her biggest support, her best friend, the one she probably couldn't live without.

Sesshomaru had been there since the first day her heart had shattered, and ever since then he had not vacated her side. Ever since, he had come to her aid in put the pieces back together, and frankly, the task was basically complete. The rest, she had to do it on her own. She had to let go, and no one could do it for her.

Light and hopes danced upon her facial features as she began making herself a cup of coffee; it was the only thing that could give her energy for the rest of the day. Unfortunately for her, she never had the chance to pour it since a knock on the door interrupted her. She gently put her mug down before rapidly heading in direction of the door.

Once she reached it, she went on her tippy toe, and glanced through the bull's eye. As soon as she realized who was behind a smile appeared on her face, and she hurried to open the door.

"Happy Birthday Kagome," he said, while holding a bouquet of roses.

Immediately a blush decorated her cheeks. "You didn't have to stop by before work because of that."

She was conscious that the past few weeks had been hard for him. Sesshomaru was slowly taking over his father's company, and his workload increased with each passing day. She even caught him skipping meals, and staying awake all night a few times. Kagome wanted him to rest, and not skip his precious sleeping hours to wish her a happy birthday.

There was nothing special about turning twenty-two anyway.

Kagome took the bouquet from him, before giving him a gentle peck on the lips. They were a bit more familiar than friends, but they were not dating in any way. Most of their gestures she classified as close friends' behavior. More than once he had slept over and they had shared a bed without anything occurring.

Once they finished their greetings she traveled to the kitchen to put them in water, and he followed her.

Kagome was most likely the only woman he could tolerate being around. Not only did she bring calmness to his soul, but also there was something about her. He could be himself when he was with her, and although he enjoyed his time alone, she brought him a feeling he hadn't experienced in a long time, at least, not since he lost his mother.

He had to protect her.

Moreover, he had fallen in love with her since the first tear had rolled down her face that faithful rainy night.

Before her, he had often been secluded from the world, never needing company, but she had transformed that. For the first time, he had wished to protect someone, to shield her from the pain of the world. That night, after seeing her tear stained cheeks, he had almost killed him.

Sesshomaru leaned against the wall, observing her angelic features as she carefully put each rose in the vase one at a time. All of her movements were planned, and delicate; just like her. She came across as a porcelain doll, but he had experienced her inner strength.

"Do you have work tonight?" she inquired, bringing him out of his reverie.

Deep inside, she hoped he would be able to come visit her again. However, it wasn't because it was her birthday, but because she had something for him. There was a surprise she had been working on for four months now, and she had finally completed it the previous night. She was impatient and nervous, but she wanted to give it to him.

No he didn't have work. He had cleared up his whole schedule for her, but he couldn't tell her that. He had prepared a big surprise party, and so far, the secret hadn't leaked, and he wished for it to remain that way.

"Yes. My father left for New York yesterday, and he left me all of his unfinished reports," he replied, the lie leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

Never on her features was a feeling of disappointment visible. She would give it to him another day, and there was no reason to make a big deal out of it. She slowly nodded, before turning around with the vase in her hands.

"Maybe we could have dinner tomorrow?"

They often had friendly dates, nearly as if they were a real couple. Sometimes, she almost speculated if she made it impossible for him to have an actual girlfriend, but every time she brought the subject up he assured her she didn't.

Sometimes, when she found herself thinking about him with someone else, she felt a pinch of jealousy in her heart. Of course, she would always chase it away, telling herself it was because she would miss her best friend. If he got married, it wouldn't be right for them to be so close.

"Home cooking," she said, trying to tempt him with her culinary skills, which he always enjoyed mocking.

A tiny smirked formed on his lips. "Then, I cannot refuse."

Sesshomaru intended on keeping true to his words. He would indeed be spending the next two days with her. He had to do so much for the company lately that their times together had been cut short and he missed seeing her. Kagome was a true friend to him, and he wished to be more, but knew he couldn't.

The wounds in her heart were still present, and he preferred to have her precious friendship, than nothing at all. For now, all he allowed himself to do was to be there for her whenever she required his presence.

It was the best he could do.

His answer caused her face to brighten with joy. "I'll make your favorite," she replied before glancing at the clock. "Now, look at the time, you'll be late."

"Yes, wifey."

She tilted her head to the side in the most adorable way before putting her hands on his back and pushing him in direction of the door. The more time he spent with her the more he would be behind in his work. If she wanted him to make it to their dinner he needed to get going.

Although he was going in the direction she hoped for he still was taking his time. When he reached the door he smiled at her, as if to annoy her. "Miss Higurashi, you are lucky I allow you to order me around. Most people would have lost their head."

She smirked. "I am not most people, Mr. Taisho."

There was no doubt about that. "I know," he said before running his hand through her hair.

She laughed a bit at his gesture before her smile disappeared from her lips. He didn't fancy it when she wasn't smiling because it reminded him of darker days. Of a past he didn't like that she possessed. He gently grabbed her chin and lifted her head.

"Smile today, okay?"

As if she had been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to, Kagome gazed away, blushing a bit.

"Don't forget about tomorrow!" she said, not answering what he said.

At least, she was smiling again, and it was all that mattered. He shook his head softly as he headed in the hallway before lifting his hand and waving a goodbye.

Kagome liked that Sesshomaru. He was always different around her than he was with his family and other friends. He had a stoic mask whenever people were around and only in her presence did he shed it. She cherished the fact that she was the only one permitted to see him.

She pressed herself against the doorway as she observed his figure disappeared in the elevator. Kagome waited a bit longer before going back inside and closing the door behind her.

Today was going to be a great day.

-P-

Every day he had busted his ass for everyone, including her. Yet did he ever get a simple thank you or a sign of appreciation? No, it was as if everyone treated him like he was a fucking slave. He hated them all, and he hated that place the most. Mostly because of him.

His footsteps were heavy and loud as he walked through the halls of the office, his mood nothing short of pissed off. He had just gotten back to the city and already his stupid brother was demanding he did some work, just so he could go to some party tonight.

Couldn't he have come up with a better excuse? His loser, cold, anti social brother did not party. He couldn't even recall the last time he had seen him be around people.

When he finally reached his dreaded destination, he came to a brief halt. Inuyasha groaned heavily before opening the door of Sesshomaru's office without bothering to knock, something that greatly annoyed his older brother.

Sesshomaru lifted his head, and glanced at his exasperating half brother. Inuyasha was hot headed, stubborn, and he had absolutely no work ethic, which made it easy to hate him. Although it had nothing to do with the reason why he despised him so much. No, the reason why he hated him ran through his veins, slowly poisoning him, until he would rot.

"Why did ya call me for?" he asked, before leaning against the nearest wall.

He put down his current file, and sighed. Clearly, Inuyasha didn't know how to be polite. "Did you start on the Korimasho case?"

The only thing he had given his worthless brother to do was one mere easy, still important though, case, and yet, from the look on his face he could already tell that like everything else that Inuyasha started in his life, he threw it all in the garbage as if it meant nothing.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes before plopping down on the nearest sofa. "Man, I didn't have time for that. I'm having my own problems to deal with right now."

His brother couldn't comprehend what it was like to have it hard sometimes. It seemed that his perfect life was never disrupted by anything. Whatever he started, it went along without a flaw. The same couldn't be said about Inuyasha, who shattered everything he touched.

Sesshomaru resisted the urge to scoff. "Problems? Did you take a Playstation break?"

"Kikyo left me." Jerk. Didn't he know how to be sensitive? It wasn't like he was playing video games every day; he limited himself to every other day.

For an instant, Sesshomaru completely froze, unable to move, as his heart ceased to pump his blood. He quickly recovered though, but he glanced away from his brother, not wanting to see his idiotic face.

"You had it coming. Did she leave you for someone else?" he said, his words laced with many meanings.

He couldn't help but hope that she had dumped his sorry ass for another man. Then perhaps Inuyasha would experience some sort of pain and betrayal. The worthless being had never been hurt in his whole life. His parents always made sure he was overprotected from life, never experiencing anything.

An aggravated look appeared on Inuyasha's face as he glared at his brother. "No, she just decided she wanted more, like a family or getting married or something, I don't know, I ain't paying too much attention to that kind of shit."

"And you wonder why she left," he casually mentioned, now that he had collected himself.

Sesshomaru refocused his attention of his files, completely shutting out Inuyasha as he waited for his brother to understand he was not wanted. It was a miracle he could spend so much time in his company without wanting to break his neck. He deserved nothing less after his miserable actions.

As per usual, Inuyasha didn't get the hint. He began slumping, and grabbed the first thing in his reach, which was one of Sesshomaru's pens. As he played with it his brain began working, and he wondered if he could catch his brother in a lie. After all, where exactly was his brother partying that was more important than his work?

Surely, he had to be lying. He was probably not busy at all, and he was simply trying to make his life more miserable by giving him more work.

"Hey."

His rude call was ignored.

"HEY. Asshole."

Sesshomaru raised his hand he rubbed the side of his head gently, trying to unwind himself. If Inuyasha didn't remove himself from his office soon, he was going to give Sesshomaru a headache that would ruin the rest of his day.

"What do you want?" he harshly inquired.

"Where ya goin' tonight?"

It wasn't that he didn't like his brother having a social life but he simply found it suspicious. If he was finally opening up to the club life than it was great, after all, he was 28 years old meaning it was about damn fucking time, but he highly doubted it was the case.

That question could not be answered. Sesshomaru did not intend to invite his brother to Kagome's surprise party; after all, it was supposed to be a nice evening. In all honestly, he was nearly shocked that Inuyasha hadn't found out about it yet, since he didn't exactly trust all of Kagome's friends.

Also, he didn't want Inuyasha anywhere near Kagome and, his personal business was none of his half-brother's concern.

"Out with friends."

Inuyasha scoffed. "You ain't got no friends."

"Neither do you."

The truth of his words stung Inuyasha, but he didn't allow Sesshomaru to see it. So what if all of his so called friends had abandoned him over a misunderstanding? He didn't need them in the first place. Anyone would love to be seen hanging out with him since he had it all; the fame, the money, and the looks.

"Whatever, I'm getting out of here."

Good. Not bothering to escort him out, Sesshomaru turned around slightly, and opened up his laptop, before typing away much like he had intended to do before his brother had rudely interrupted him.

Unfortunately, Inuyasha had one more thing he needed to know before he could leave. He wasn't sure why he was about to ask such information from his brother out of all people, who knew nothing of her, but he was his best option. Every day he wondered, and Sesshomaru was the only one who could provide him with some sort of answer.

It had been killing him for a whole year now. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think about her. How could he not? He never meant to lose her or hurt her. At first, he was doing it for fun, not to mean any harm. If only she hadn't found out about it, they would still be together.

Before Inuyasha reached the door, he stopped in his tracks. "How is she?"

The blood in Sesshomaru's body did not circulate as the words echoed and his fingers discontinued their movements. He could tolerate Inuyasha's presence, he could bear with the fact that he had to talk to him, but he would not authorize him to even inquire about her well-being.

"It's none of your concern," he said, his tone ice cold.

His brother's tone surprised him to the point of causing him to back away a bit, but he quickly resumed his tough act. "Man, what's got your panties in a bunch? Since when do you care about her anyway?"

"Inuyasha, if you do not leave this office I will make you."

Inuyasha's golden eyes widened a bit before he slowly nodded his head. "You know what? None of y'all know what happened between me and her a'right?"

His words still rung through the office as he slammed the door behind him. As soon as he was out of view, Sesshomaru threw his pen violently at the door, chipping off a piece of the wood. Fuck.

His whole body was trembling as he remained on his feet, wanting nothing more but to go after the worthless bastard and give him a piece of his mind. How dare Inuyasha claim he didn't know what happened? Of course he knew! He had to hear the tale over and over again; dry tears shed over that idiotic foolish man, and mend a heart broken beyond fixing.

If anyone knew what happened between Kagome and Inuyasha, it was him.

Once some of his anger dissipated, Sesshomaru slowly sat back down in his chair, his heart still hammering like a drum in his chest. He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the sweat drops formed by his rage. There was no way he could work in this state of mind.

Every day, his half-brother made it more difficult for him to not kill him.

Sesshomaru had often been surprised by his own self-control, especially when Inuyasha had begun bringing his whore home with him. It was that day that Sesshomaru understood that Inuyasha had no shame. He was a selfish being who didn't care who he hurt as long as he obtained what he desired.

One day, he would pay.

Suddenly, a knock on the door brought him out of his revengeful thoughts.

"Mr. Taisho? Miss Ishii on line 1."

Sesshomaru grinded his teeth, washing away all memories of Inuyasha before picking up the phone. "Sango? What is it?"

"The food is late. They called, and they said they might not make it in time."

Fucking great. As if he needed another fucking problem in his day.

"Then find somewhere else, tell them the price doesn't matter. I'll pay them triple what they usually charge as long as it's ready on time."

Without waiting for Sango to answer, he hung up in her face. He didn't have anything against her, but she had caught him in a bad moment. It was Kagome's first birthday since the event and he wanted to make sure she was blown away. She and Inuyasha used to have a tradition for her birthday, and he was doing everything in his power to make sure she wouldn't notice his absence in her life.

Sesshomaru had devoted the last year to her completely, every second of his life, night or day. Anything she needed, he had provided her with. During that whole year he had kept his love for her hidden deep inside. He feared scaring her away, and it was weighing on him.

If only she had never met that bastard, if only she hadn't fallen in love. Inuyasha never deserved her, and he had shown it.

But he would protect her, and never again would she fall victim to his claws. Not after all the effort, it had taken to bring her back on her feet.

Inuyasha would never be a part of her life again.

-P-

"Kanashikute kanashikute nakida shisou ni naru. (Sadly, sadly I burst into tears at the thought of becoming) Tada tsuyoiku nari tai dake namida wa nagasenai (However, the tears not shed are only for the strong team)."

Kagome was singing to herself as she finished cleaning up one of the boxes. Since she just finished the final draft of her newest project, she had decided to re-arrange the place a bit and fix up a few things. She always kept many useless things often because they were sentimental, but currently, they were taking up way too much space in her apartment.

She carefully folded the empty cardboard box before moving on to the next one. A smile immediately graced her features once she realized it was filled with pictures. Enthusiastic about the memories to come, she rapidly dug in. Kagome took a handful of pictures before pushing the box aside, and laying flat on her stomach.

One by one, she peered through the pictures, her smile still vivid on her lips.

Most of them were of her and Sango back when they were in elementary school. Since the first day they had met in second grade, they became inseparable, going through mischief and love together. Now that Kagome thought about it, she realized she hadn't seen much of her best friend during the past few weeks.

Maybe she could call her later?

She made a mental note to do so before moving on to other pictures. However, quickly enough she realized it might have been a bad idea. She gulped, before it dropped down to the ground. The smiling face of Inuyasha and herself were staring right back at her.

It was a picture of happier, better times.

A scoff escaped her lips before she dropped the pictures on the ground. Perhaps she had done enough cleaning for today. She dragged herself on the couch and lay down before closing her eyes. The apartment felt empty and the silence was killing her. Before him she used to always be surrounded by people, but when it happened a year ago, she had decided to always remain alone.

She pressed her lips together, before she sighed.

No, she was not doing this to herself. Kagome decided that the best way to clear her mind was to focus on some of her work. Not the one she did for money but, the personal art she did for herself, to distract her mind. It took her a few seconds to get on her feet, but when she did, she headed towards the next room.

The room was completely white, most of the pieces of art covered by white drapes. Kagome didn't like to share her works, at least not when it was incomplete. Only the finals were seen by others. Although, Sesshomaru had seen a few works in progress, but that was because he had gone on his own, and disobeyed her.

She walked to the farthest end of the room and reached a big canvas. Slowly, she pulled on the drape, only to reveal a completely black painting. Kagome had done it after the incident between her and Inuyasha. Her world had become darkness, and she had decided that when she would be ready, she would paint over.

A small part each time would be painted, until she had fully recovered. She had meant to get started on it much sooner, but each time, she was afraid. No, she wasn't in a bad state of mind anymore, but looking at the blackness reminded her of what happened and she wanted to forget it. Painting it would only refresh the wound of betrayal in her heart.

Problem was, if she never faced it, it would never go away.

Her fingers were burning, so she released the fabric she was holding, allowing it to fall upon the ground. Her grey orbs were locked upon her painting as many thoughts went through her mind. Could she take the paintbrush for the first time, could she add color to her world?

Because to say she was drowned in somberness, was a lie.

Sango, Miroku, Sesshomaru, Shippo, and all of them, brought a strike of color in her heart. She refused to think that darkness was all there was in her beating organ.

With a trembling hand, she reached out for a paintbrush, any, just the nearest one and grabbed it. She took a deep breath before pressing the naked brush against the black. She hadn't dipped it in color yet, but she brushed strokes along the canvas anyway, as if it had an effect.

It didn't change the darkness, but it made her feel better. It felt as if she could hold her own against him and the memories, and what she was experiencing was freedom. You couldn't forget the person you loved for 12 years in an instant, but she was getting close.

She kept stroking the brush around for a bit longer before putting it back where it belonged.

Kagome glanced around looking at her current art supplies, but nothing seemed to catch her eye. Perhaps she could refurnish herself a bit for this project? She had used almost everything she had on a gift for Sesshomaru after all.

Decided, and determined, Kagome left her art room, without covering her black painting. It was perhaps the only work she didn't mind showing to people. She herself had always been an open book, and since the painting was her, than others should be able to see it.

She grabbed her blue coat and put it on before shoving her wallet in her side pocket. Gazing at her apartment one last time, she gently closed the door behind her before locking it. Slowly, Kagome began heading down the hall, a little jump in her step.

After everything that occurred, today was still going well.

It didn't matter that it was her birthday, and that there would be no dark sky filled with bright stars.

She didn't need it.

-P-

Sango was barely holding in place as she jumped from one room to another making sure everything was perfect. They had spent a month preparing Kagome's birthday party and even though they had a few setbacks, it seemed that everything was finally going well. They even had found someone to provide them with a quick buffet for the birthday girl!

The whole party was happening in her apartment, which irked her just a bit. She would have rather used Sesshomaru's since it was more spacious, but he had planned for his excuse to be work. At least, it was a believable excuse Kagome would be able to take for granted. When it came to lying to Kagome, Sesshomaru was often horrible.

Then again, she couldn't blame him.

However, this was the good type of lie, since it was to surprise her, and make her happy.

Usually, every year at her birthday, Inuyasha and Kagome would drive out to the country and bring a blanket and a small picnic. They would always leave when the sun would set, and they would watch the stars together. When they were younger, Kagome's mother used to drive them, and then when they got older, they had begun doing it themselves.

This year would be the first time Kagome didn't celebrate her birthday that way.

At first she had been scared that making a big deal out of it would hurt Kagome, but then again, if they didn't occupy her mind, the poor girl would dwell upon it during the whole evening. At least if she was having fun, Inuyasha might not sneak into her mind.

For the fiftieth time, Sango re-arranged the balloons, waiting for Sesshomaru to show up. She was almost starting to believe he really was working.

Sesshomaru had been a miracle in disguise.

Kagome had known him for twelve years since he was Inuyasha's brother, but they had never really talked past the formal greeting. He hadn't been a part of her life in any way, and since he didn't like his half-brother, he didn't particularly enjoy Kagome's presence.

But then, something had happened.

Nobody knew what it was, but not too long after the incident, as they all referred to it as, Sesshomaru and Kagome were friends. Actually, they were more than friends. There almost wasn't one day they weren't together. Sango, who had been trying to do her best for Kagome was grateful.

Sesshomaru had something she didn't have; he could heal her heart.

To be honest, she had expected them to get together in the long run but nothing had happened. At first, she thought it was because they only had platonic feelings for each other, but as she had spied on them, she had learned differently.

She wasn't sure how Kagome felt about Sesshomaru, since Sango didn't dare to ask, but Sesshomaru loved her. If you observed him carefully, he had that longing puppy love look in his eyes, and Kagome never noticed. Of course, she had always been oblivious to those kinds of things.

Secretly, Sango was rooting for Sesshomaru. She wouldn't voice it out loud since he would be upset if he knew she was aware of his feelings, but it didn't prevent her from hoping. After the terrible thing that occurred in Kagome's life, some true devoted love was what she needed.

If only she could open her eyes.

"Sango, you should fix those balloons down there, they are falling off."

She snapped her head in direction of Miroku before frowning a bit. She hadn't put balloons so low, what in the world was he talking about? Her curiosity getting the best out of her, she bent down slightly to inspect what he was referring to. It wasn't until she began descending that it hit her. A blush of anger quickly decorated her cheeks as she headed in his direction.

Quickly, she slapped him across the face. "HENTAI!" she exclaimed angrily before walking off.

"Sango, my dear! I was simply trying to help!" said Miroku, rubbing his cheek as he walked after her.

"I would appreciate it if you kept your lecherous ways to a minimum while there is still work to do."

Miroku stopped chasing after the love of his life, although she still wasn't aware of it, to turn around and glance at Sesshomaru. He was wearing a black business suit, his long silver hair wrapped into a ponytail, and he was evilly glaring at him. Yikes! An angry Sesshomaru was never a good thing.

"Sesshomaru!" he said, removing his hand from his cheek. "Don't worry about a thing; Sango's got it all under control."

Slowly Sesshomaru nodded. "Does Kagome know she's having lunch with Sango?"

Miroku's violet eyes flickered from left to right, then right to left. "No."

Darn it. He knew they had forgotten something!

"BUT!" he added before facing Sesshomaru's anger, "It's something that can easily be fixed. We both know Kagome has nothing planned today, and will be easily joinable."

"She better be," warned Sesshomaru before leaving Miroku behind so he could discuss the final details with Sango.

He wasn't sure why he felt so nervous since it was a rare occurrence for him, but he had a feeling he could not chase away. He wanted everything to be perfect, yet he just knew something was going to mess it all up. Hopefully, it wouldn't be anything too bad.

"Sango?" he inquired when he walked into the kitchen.

The brunette rapidly turned around while holding a plate full of food. "Hey, you're here."

Sango was one of the few people who wasn't afraid to address Sesshomaru casually. She had seen him act very down to earth with Kagome, and it had shattered the monster image she had of him. She could see it bothered him, but he never really addressed it, so she continued to do it.

He had meant to arrive much sooner, but because of Inuyasha he had been delayed. The idiot had literally done no work, leaving him to catch up on the missed work. His work was not more important than Kagome, but certain things were pressing, and his father wouldn't allow him to leave until someone completed them.

Of course, his father never asked Inuyasha to do it. Then again, they never put any pressure on the worthless idiot for obvious reasons; he couldn't do anything right.

"May I help?" he inquired before removing his jacket, and putting it on the nearest chair.

Sango quickly nodded. "You can grab, that, that, and that, and put it on the table over there," she said, while pointing to a million different things with her chin since her hands were busy.

Once she was done with her quick explanation, Sango aimed for the kitchen, leading the way for Sesshomaru.

He grabbed everything she said, and followed right behind. He doubted they required so much food, but he much preferred have more than less. Every detail needed to be considered from Kagome's favorite foods, to her preferred colors. Sesshomaru did not want one thing wrong.

As Sango and Sesshomaru were putting the plates down, Miroku rushed in the room, looking a bit uneasy. "Sango, was Kagome going somewhere today?"

She tilted her head to the side, thinking it through. "I don't think so; she hasn't taken freelancing work in a while. Why?"

Miroku ignored her question, and glanced in direction of Sesshomaru, asking a silent question.

"From what I understood, she was to remain home today."

"Well, she's not answering," said Miroku before putting the phone down on the table.

Sango shrugged her shoulders. "Kagome is a big girl; she can go out for a few minutes to shop if she wants. I'm pretty sure she won't be out all day."

Sesshomaru agreed with her yet his bad feeling only grew stronger. Kagome could always be reached one way or another. "Did you try her cell phone?"

Miroku nodded. "I tried her Mom, her apartment, and her cell phone. I didn't get an answer anywhere."

"Maybe her phone is dead," said Sango, re-arranging the plates for the third time.

As they all fell silent, a weird emotion installed itself between them. Why were they so worried? Wasn't it normal for a person to not stay in all day? Perhaps it was because they wished for everything to be perfect. Maybe it was also because they had known Kagome's darker side, and ever since, they couldn't help protect her.

Sango opened her mouth, ready to speak, when suddenly, the phone rang. Her expression transformed into a smile. "See, it's probably her calling back."

Miroku was the one to answer. "Hello?"

Then, for a few seconds, he fell silent, and it caused Sango to frown. From what she could hear someone was speaking, but she could not make up the words.

"Yes, she is here."

He handed Sango the phone, a concern look on his face. "It's for you."

Sango's heart sank in her stomach as she took the phone with a shaking hand. She didn't know what was wrong, but Miroku's expression made her feel distressed.

"Hello?" There was a pause, which nearly drove Sesshomaru and Miroku insane. "Yes, this is she."

Feeling a bit dizzy, Sango sat down on the nearest chair. "I see… where did you say?"

She moved her hand in the air, gesturing that she required a pen. Miroku frantically looked around like a headless chicken, until he found one. He quickly gave it to her, and Sango began to scribble on her hand, very quickly, while repeatedly nodding her head. Her eyes were beginning to water, but she was holding back the tears.

No. No.

Something was wrong, and both men knew it.

Then, she hung up.

Miroku and Sesshomaru's eyes were locked on her waiting for her to break the tension.

Sango slowly put down the phone, before taking a deep breath; it was then that the first tear rolled down her cheeks. She wanted to tell them what was going on, but it was hard to find her voice.

Miroku was the first to speak. "Sango, what's going on?"

She slowly looked up at him, her eyes already red with the pain throbbing in her heart. "It's Kagome," she said her heart sinking.

The only reaction Sesshomaru could have was to close his eyes.

"She's- she's in the hospital."

The only thing Sesshomaru could hear in his head was his own heart beating, everything else fell silent. Kagome was in the hospital. It was the only thought echoing through his mind.

Then he heard Sango's voice, it was faint though, because he was so retracted in his own mind. She mentioned a car, a truck, and he couldn't make out the rest. His grip on the edge of the chair increased as he felt a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach.

When a few seconds passed, he did the only thing he could do. He ran out of Sango's house, heading straight for the hospital.

If he lost her…

He would lose himself.

-P-

Eglantine Rose; A wound to heal

Thank you to Daniella for beta-reading!

Pink Carnation

Chapter 2: Eglantine Rose

Sesshomaru's grip on the wheel was so tight that he was nearly breaking it in two. The only thing he could think about was getting to the hospital as fast as possible. A car accident. How bad could a car accident be? But Kagome didn't own a car. To be in a car accident, she had to have been hit by a car. How bad could it be to be hit by a car? It could be a precaution. It could be that she was hit on the leg, and it bruised…

It could be nothing.

It had to be nothing.

"Would the fucking light change already!" he cursed.

He tapped his fingers against the wheel, his head spinning as he begun to feel dizzier by the second. Once the light finally became the right color, he pressed hard on the pedal and flew through the road rapidly heading towards the hospital. He was afraid that if he was there a second later than he should, she would slip through his fingers and he would lose her.

It took him another five minutes before he finally arrived at the hospital. He parked as quickly as possible, and rushed inside; his blood boiling in his veins. If he caught the idiots who hit her, he was going to crush their heads, break their necks, and grind their bones until there was nothing left.

As soon as Sesshomaru dashed the front desk he forcefully pressed his palms against it. "Excuse me?" he said, his tone anxious.

An older nurse slowly turned around to peer at him. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Kagome. Higurashi Kagome," he said, his feet twitching.

The lady carefully looked through her pile of papers trying to spot the name. Sesshomaru was aware she was doing her best, but it didn't change the fact that he was that close to losing his patience. His heart was beating like a drum, wanting to rip out of his chest as the seconds ticked away.

"I'm sorry Sir, but she is currently in the ER."

ER. That was not precaution that was fatal. Something did happen to her.

Although her words had registered in his brain, it didn't help him. There was no way he was leaving the hospital until she was out, and well. "Where can I wait?" he inquired as calmly as possible.

"Over there," she said pointing to the end of the hall.

"Thank you," he said before turning around ready to sprint down where she was.

But before he could get very far, he was stopped by a voice. "Sesshomaru!"

He didn't need to glance back to know who it was. Although everything in his body was screaming at him to keep going, even if he couldn't see her yet, he ceased his movements, and waited for Sango and Miroku to catch up to him. After all, they were just as worried as he was..

Sango was nearly breathless when she finally arrived by his side. "Is she okay?" she inquired her eyes still red from the tears she had shed earlier.

She didn't want to picture the worst, but, the lost puppy look on his face was making it difficult to have hope. Sango was afraid to hear the words he had to say. What if they lost her?

Sesshomaru looked away, not bearing to look in anyone's face for now. "She's in the ER," he said, almost all in one breath.

For a brief instant, Sango's heart stopped beating, and she reached out for Miroku, grabbing his arm for support. Her fingers were digging in his flesh, but he didn't even flinch. Miroku himself was too stunned to be able to feel any kind of pain, the news still not processing through his brain.

"ER?" he asked, almost wanting Sesshomaru to deny it, to tell him he had heard wrong.

The only answered he offered him was a nod.

All of them felt silent, everyone glancing at the floor. Sesshomaru felt his heart constrict in his chest at the thought of having her ripped away from him. He wasn't a violent person, but he hoped that the people who put her in the hospital were in a worse state than she was, or he'd take care of them.

Without saying a word, Sesshomaru turned around; ready to resume the path he had began to follow. Even if he couldn't see her yet, he would remain by her side as close as possible. If anything was to be announced, good news or bad news, he wanted to be the first to know.

Sango raised her head as soon as she heard movements. When she noticed Sesshomaru walked away, she began to follow him without speaking. Even if she wanted to talk, she could no longer ask. Her heart was hammering within, and she was praying Kagome would pull through.

She only wished they had more information.

All three friends silently walked towards the ER and once they reached the area all they could do was sit in the nearest chairs and wait.

It wasn't until there was a few minutes of silence, that Sango realized something. "Someone should call Kagome's mother." Before the silence fell, she offered herself. "I'll do it."

Sitting there would drive her insane; at least, walking, and going outside, where she would have some fresh air would perhaps help her clear the whirlpool of emotions she was currently experiencing. While her whole body was trembling with anxiety, Sango rose to her feet, and headed outside, where she could use her cell phone.

With Sango gone, an awkward silence was left between Sesshomaru and Miroku who were not extremely familiar with one another. Nonetheless, Miroku wanted to offer some of his support. He loved Kagome dearly, but as a friend, while Sesshomaru seemed much more linked to her.

"She'll be fine."

He wasn't certain his words bore the truth, but he truly wanted to believe that the words he spoke were sincere. "Kagome's a fighter, she'll pull through."

After all, she had survived a major heartache, and she was now stronger than ever. A car accident couldn't take Kagome away, not when she had so many things to live for. She was still so young, and hadn't accomplished any of the dreams she had.

Sesshomaru never answered, or glanced his way, but Miroku knew he heard his words. A sigh escaped the older man, as he hoped Miroku was right. He had almost lost her once, back when he didn't know her, back when he didn't care. Even then, the urge to protect her had surged, leading him to wonder how badly he would take it now.

He raised his head, still not peering at Miroku, waiting for someone to pass by. Sesshomaru was fairly humble, but he had learned over the years that most people had no virtue and could be bought off. All he had to do was find the right one, and perhaps he'd obtain a bit of information on Kagome.

A doctor passed by but he knew they didn't need money. He needed someone with a lesser salary, who worked exhausting amount of hours. Sesshomaru's emotions were boiling within, but he had the skills to hide it from the outside world. He patiently waited, observing everyone that walked in front of him, until he found the right person.

Slowly he rose to his feet, attracting Miroku's attention, before aiming for the woman. "Excuse me?" he said in his most polite tone.

He would first try to ask questions, without offering any type of bribes, and then if she refused, he'd propose her a silent deal.

The woman turned around, her glasses on the tip of her nose. Her hair was a bit messy, mostly due to the fact that she was in a constant rush. She tried her best to offer a sincere smile as she came to a halt. "Can I help you Sir?"

Sesshomaru's eyebrow twitched involuntarily as he attempted to find the right words. "My," one little lie couldn't hurt. "Fiancée is in the ER. I was just called here, but nobody will tell me what happened to her."

The eyes of the woman saddened a bit before she slowly nodded. Her own husband had been hospitalized a year back, and she had been left to worry all by herself. Of course, they could not disclose much information… "What is her name?"

"Higurashi Kagome."

The nurse nodded again, before offering him a small smile. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you," said Sesshomaru before finding his seat again.

Perhaps he had been wrong, and maybe there were still a few people that were nice without receiving anything in exchange. He could feel Miroku's eyes on him, but all he did was tap his foot against the hard floor, the noise echoing through the hospital. Usually, such thing would have driven him crazy but at the moment, he could not stand the silence.

"She's on her way."

The sound of Sango's voice nearly made Miroku and Sesshomaru jump. Both tilted their heads in her direction as she resumed her seat, her eyes extremely puffy. It had been difficult for her to hold the tears back while discussing the situation with Kagome's mother. Since they didn't know what was happening with Kagome, it was hard for Sango to tell Miyu to not be concerned, or to not come.

What if Kagome didn't make it?

It was true that she didn't wish for such thoughts to fill her mind, but they had to consider every possibility.

"Should she be driving?" Miyu could be very emotional, and in such a situation who could blame her.

"Sota is going to drive."

Sango's lifted her brown eyes to fix the door of the ER. Somewhere behind it, there was Kagome, helplessly lying on a table. A rage was developing inside Sango, and that fury was directed at herself. When Kagome had the incident, she hadn't been able to help. At first, it had been difficult to not provide her friend with the support she required, but she got over it.

But now, once again, there was nothing she could do.

She felt useless.

Her head dropped and she found herself staring at the tiles of the floor. It was then that she felt a warm hand on her back. Usually she would have slapped said hand away, but today it was different. It wasn't a gesture of perversion, but a gesture of compassion. Sango raised her head ever so slightly, before nodding his way.

All they could do was wait.

-P-

Three long hours had passed without any answers.

Kagome's mother and her brother had arrived an hour after Sango had called them, and ever since, Miyu and Sango had been sitting close to each other, holding back tears. Miroku and Sota had chatted a bit, trying to take their minds off things, but Sesshomaru hadn't been able to fit in either group.

Since his nerves had given up on him and all the stress had drained his energy, he was soullessly wandering around the hospital, perhaps trying to find a coffee machine so he could be more alert.

Unfortunately for them, they hadn't been able to find out anything about Kagome's condition. The nurse he had inquired information from had done her best, but apparently it was difficult to even get near Kagome. Her state was critical, and the area was closed off while they operated on her.

Just that little bit of information had made him sick to his stomach.

Now, the only way he could picture her was lifelessly lying in a bloodbath.

Obviously it had been useless to ask the nurse about the other people involved in the incident, but that didn't mean he had given up on them. He had money, he had power. As soon as Kagome would be on her feet, he would deal with them his own way, and he didn't care what it involved.

His eyes flickered to the right when the light from a coffee machine caught his attention. Slowly, he dragged himself towards it before taking his wallet out. He mindlessly pressed a few buttons before putting the cup in place, waiting for it to be filled with the hot beverage.

Time was passing by even slower in a hospital.

He heard the final drip as the machine ceased its noise, but he didn't reach it for the cup immediately. Sesshomaru's hand was extremely shaky and he was afraid that if he grabbed it, he would drop it. He was a fairly collected person who had control over their own emotions, but when it came to her he would lose it all.

Since that night, all it took from her was a glance and he was bare and vulnerable. She never had the chance to find out how much power she had over him, or how he felt about her. Perhaps it was his biggest regret, and relief at the same time. He didn't want to burden her with the way he felt.

"Sesshomaru!"

Immediately he raised his head only to see Sango sprinting his way, a blush of exhausting coloring her cheeks. "The-d doctor," she said, quickly, "he's out. I mean, they're done."

A light of hope was created in his chest as he hurried to follow her through the halls, leaving his coffee untouched. Could it be that if Sango was still hopeful, that Kagome was still alive, that everything had gone well?

When the doctor finally came in view, Kagome's friends and family surrounded him. Sesshomaru increased his speed to try and catch most of what was being said. He politely slid himself in between Miroku and Miyu as the doctor kept on telling them about the situation.

"When your daughter arrived at the hospital, Miss Higurashi," he began, his eyes locked on Miyu, "she was in a bad state. She had received the biggest impact on her legs, and on her head."

The head, that could not be good, in fact, it could be deadly. Sesshomaru was beginning to breathe so hard to contain his emotions that it could be heard loudly, but nobody said anything.

"Our main priority was the wound on her head since it was causing an extreme amount of blood loss. We were able to stabilize it during the first hour."

A sigh of relief could be heard among the group, but no one dared to celebrate too early.

"Her state is still a bit critical, but she's out of danger. Unfortunately, there was severe damage done to her head, and we will not know the extent of her injuries until she wakes up."

"Can we see her?" inquired Sota, his bottom lip quivering.

The doctor sighed before running his fingers through his hair. "She is still in a coma… but if it is done quickly yes. However, you should go one at a time."

Miyu nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," said the doctor before moving out of the way.

It was a relief to all that Kagome was alive, and would wake up. The down side was the last thing the doctor said. Head injuries could be very serious, and all they could do was pray that she would be fine, and recover.

Without any question, Miyu was the first one to go in while everyone else resumed their seats, waiting for their turn. Sesshomaru sat a bit further from everyone else, his thoughts invading his mind. He had so many things he wished to say to her, yet she was unconscious. He didn't even know what is reaction would be like. It was one thing to keep his emotions hidden from the others, but in her presence, it would be different.

He sat there, completely motionless, lost in his own mind as everyone went in. He could recall a few of them asking if he wanted to go, but he refused. He didn't want to be press for time; he wanted to enter her room last. Although he had to admit he was growing rather impatient by the second.

His heart was beating slowly in his chest, as if every pump, every badump was taking the energy straight from his soul. It took him a few minutes, but Sesshomaru finally managed to gather the strength to raise his head. His eyes were locked on the door waiting for Miroku, the last person to see her to come out. He was counting the seconds in his mind, his toes twitching.

Then finally it happened; Miroku emerged.

Sesshomaru pushed aside the look on his face; he didn't want to know how bad her state was.

His heart in his stomach, he rose to his feet, before gently making his way into her room. For a second, it was if he could feel their eyes on him, but he never looked back. As his trembling hand reached out for the door, he took a deep breath. While he slowly opened the door, he could do nothing but close his eyes; he wasn't ready to see her yet.

He closed the door behind him, blindly advancing in the room. Sesshomaru took a few more steps before he opened his eyes. His breath was caught in his throat as the sight in front of him burned his eyes. Kagome was lying in a bed, a tube coming out of everywhere like snakes surrounding her. There were bandages wrapped around her head, making her look even more fragile.

Sesshomaru was afraid to take one more step in her direction, terrified that it would shatter her. The beeping coming from the machines was ringing in his mind as he gently closed the distance between himself and the bed. His fingers trailed upon the rail until he reached the nearest chair. He plopped down on it; his legs had finally given up on him.

He took a firm grip on the rail before lifting himself from the chair and moving closer to her bed. His amber eyes were locked on her visage, unable to tear himself away. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, and soothe her sorrow away. Hadn't she had enough pain, why did she require more? Especially now; she was finally steady on her own two feet.

With hesitance, he raised his hand, and slowly, he inched it towards her face. All it took was one more second, and his palm cupped her left cheek. Her porcelain skin was cold which sent a shiver down his spine. Kagome was always warm, even during her deepest melancholies.

The fragile, breakable being in front of him, it could not be her, yet it was.

Sesshomaru never cried, not once in his life, but for the first time, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes.

He would not let them fall, his eyes would not get watery, but he would know, he had almost shed a tear.

His hands remained against her cheek a little longer before he moved it up. Carefully, he brushed away her tangled bangs, much like he had done many times in the past. The scene almost felt familiar, except, before she hadn't been hooked up to so many machines, fighting for her life.

"INUYASHA?"

The near scream had been so loud that Sesshomaru had been able to hear it from the other side. There was no mistaken that it was Sango's voice, but he could only hope that he had heard the name wrong. He peered in direction of Kagome one last time before retracting his hand. He wouldn't allow the idiot anywhere near her.

He gently retracted his hand, frustrated that his moment with her had been cut short before rapidly heading for the door. Sesshomaru couldn't even imagine what he would do to Inuyasha if he truly was there. How could he be? There was no way anyone would have told him Kagome was in the hospital! Nobody spoke to him anymore!

He quietly opened the door, but unfortunately it attracted everyone's attention nonetheless. It was when his worthless half brother turned around that Sesshomaru's fears were confirmed; it was him. His eyes narrowed, and he couldn't find the words to express the rage he felt inside.

He had no right to be anywhere near her.

But before Sesshomaru could speak, Inuyasha was already on his case. "What the hell are ya doin' here?" Without giving his brother a chance to answer, he turned to Sango. "Why's he here?"

Since nobody was talking to Inuyasha since the incident, he never learned of the relationship between Kagome and Sesshomaru. Over the months, even Sesshomaru himself didn't bother telling him because it was none of his business, and he didn't wish for him to do something stupid, like harassing Kagome over it.

"Why are you here?" asked Sesshomaru, hissing through his teeth.

"Mrs. Higurashi called me." At least someone had the decency to alert him that Kagome was in the hospital.

Miyu hadn't been told about what Inuyasha had done to her daughter. Since the situation had been complicated enough, and Miyu considered Inuyasha like a son, they had decided, following Kagome's wish of course, to not tell her the two of them were not talking anymore. Nobody had thought she might call him, causing chaos in the hospital.

How would Kagome react if she woke up with Inuyasha right by her side? They had to find a subtle way to make him leave before a fight would break between him and Sesshomaru.

Sango put her hand on Sesshomaru's arm attracting his attention. "Look, I don't want him here more than you do, but it's not the time to make a scene. Not here, not like this. You can deal with him when we're outside," she said, semi-whispering.

She was infuriated beyond belief, but this was still a hospital, and it was no place to fight.

Unfortunately for all of them, the way some tones had been raised had attracted the attention of a nurse nearby. She approached the loud group, a frown on her face. "I'm sorry but visiting hours are over, you will have to leave."

In his mind, Sesshomaru cursed his half brother. Everything he did always ruined it for everyone else. He was a selfish bastard that only thought about himself. A sigh of frustrated escaped him, before his face crisped a bit. He was going to deal with Inuyasha, now.

"Sota, Mrs. Higurashi, you're welcome to stay at my house while Kagome is in the hospital, it's much closer."

Mrs. Higurashi smiled through her pain. "Oh we wouldn't want to impose."

Miyu didn't know about Inuyasha and Kagome, but she was aware that Sesshomaru was a growing presence in her daughter's life, she simply did not know to what extent.

"Nonsense, I insist. I will call for someone to pick you. Someone will also take care of you car."

Miyu's eyes were watery as she bowed ever so slightly. "Thank you Sesshomaru."

Sango was the first to catch on the hint that Sesshomaru wanted to talk to Inuyasha, and she had no intention of stopping him. She offered her best smile to Miyu, before semi leading her outside with Sota and Miroku following him. Miroku couldn't help but glance back, giving a supportive nod to Sesshomaru.

It wasn't too long before the only people left in the surrounding area were Sesshomaru, and Inuyasha. The older man was staring down at his brother, wanting to burn him alive with his eyes.

"Follow me," he said before moving forward.

Inuyasha was extremely confused. Everyone was acting so familiar around his brother, yet none of them had seen him more than twice. Plus, none of it explained why he was in Kagome's hospital room. Never had he said anything nice about her, or talked to her. Now he was worried about her?

Just what the fuck had been going on behind his back?

He wanted to push his brother around, demand answers, but all he did was exhale loudly. He would wait until they were out of the hospital before demanding answers from Sesshomaru. Inuyasha had a bad feeling about having him around his Kagome.

The time seemed to pass slowly as they finally emerged outside, the sun blinding them both. Sesshomaru wanted nothing more than to rip Inuyasha's neck especially since his emotions were currently out of control, but he took a deep breath.

"Why did you come?" he asked before sitting down on the nearest bench.

"Whaddaya mean? Kagome is in the hospital! Why wouldn't I come! The question is why you are here?"

He really wanted to keep it to himself that he was good friends with Kagome, but the bastard was making it so tempting. He wanted Inuyasha to know that what he threw away, Sesshomaru was taking care of. That he had no idea what he lost, that Kagome was a pure jewel.

Yet he shouldn't. Although, would Inuyasha really bother Kagome? He had given up on trying to make contact with her since everyone had begun threatening him so perhaps he would remain the same. Plus, Sesshomaru could make his life extremely miserable.

"Because she is important to me."

Inuyasha knitted his eyebrows together before tilting his head to the side. "Say what?"

"You might have been cut out of her life because of your stupidity, but we are not all as foolish."

Taken back by his brother's words, Inuyasha backed away a bit, a ferocious look on his face. "You been hangin' out with her? Huh?"

"Perhaps. This is none of your concern."

Such a childish and provocative reaction had been expected coming from Inuyasha, but Sesshomaru had always thought that when the situation would come, he would be more in control. Unfortunately for Inuyasha, he had caught him in a bad moment. He needed to release his anger one way or another.

"None of my concern? None of my fucking concern? Everything about her is my business." How dare him! Kagome was his! How could he put his filthy hands on her. How could he even be around her!

He had tried for weeks to get in contact with her, to explain things, but they hadn't let him. They were the reason he moved on. He couldn't keep waiting at her door if they didn't give him a chance. Inuyasha simply couldn't waste his life waiting for her. But now, they hadn't done anything to stop him because Miyu was there. It was his chance to get close to Kagome, to talk her.

Especially since Kikyo was gone. He had all the time in the world.

"She isn't your possession, Inuyasha. She makes her own decision. If Kagome didn't want me around her, I wouldn't be there. If she didn't want me in her apartment, I wouldn't spend the night."

Perhaps the last bit was too much, and was left to interpretation. He had spent a few nights there, simply never in the circumstances Inuyasha was thinking of.

Inuyasha's usual amber eyes had turned a deep boiling red as his brother's words rung in his mind. Spent the night?

"You turned her into your own personal whore?"

His hand clenched into a fist as he resisted the urge to hit his older brother. Nobody could have her. "You think I'm gonna believe this bullshit? I know for a fact she doesn't put out."

A cable in Sesshomaru's brain snapped, and before he knew what he was doing, he landed a punch right on Inuyasha's jaw, knocking him back. His blood was boiling in his veins as he took a step forward, not holding himself back. The bastard was making it very hard to not kill him.

Did he ever think before he spoke all his bullshit?

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru had a lot of fights in the past but it never got physical. What the fuck was going on between him and Kagome that he was willing to fight for her? It didn't take him too long to find his balance, and when he did he charged for his older brother with everything he had.

Sesshomaru, unlike Inuyasha, was able to avoid the hit. It didn't help soothe away Inuyasha's pain, who then tried to land a punch again. Although this time, he felt something restraining him. Slowly he looked back only to see Miroku holding his hand back.

"That's enough Inuyasha," said Miroku as he completely put his arm down. "This isn't appropriate behavior to have in front of a hospital."

Miroku had wanted to let the fight keep going, after all, if any injuries were to happen, both men were fairly close to the hospital, but he knew he had to stop it. Obviously, if Sesshomaru had hit Inuyasha, who was bleeding from the corner of his lip, there was a reason.

He actually wouldn't mind hitting him as well, but it wouldn't solve any current problems they had.

"If you care about Kagome," God, why was it even so hard to say those words to him, "you will leave."

Inuyasha was puffing and huffing as he snatched his hand away from Miroku. He felt something drip down in his chin, and his first instinct was to lift his arm, and wipe it off. It was then that Inuyasha saw the blood, causing his inner rage to expand.

"Inuyasha."

Who the fuck did Miroku think he was ordering him around? They weren't friends, not anymore. He didn't get to be involved in his life. Inuyasha glanced back at the hospital where Kagome was, and he sighed heavily.

"This isn't over," warned Inuyasha, pointing his finger at his brother.

He slowly peered at Miroku, before taking his leave, his frustration rising to a new level. They couldn't keep him out of the hospital, meaning he would still get to see Kagome. At least he had Mrs. Higurashi to keep him updated on the situation. If he could only have a chance to talk to Kagome, he knew he could fix things.

"Are you okay?" inquired Miroku as he looked over in Sesshomaru's direction.

Sesshomaru slowly nodded before running his fingers through his long locks. "I'll drive Mrs. Higurashi to my house, can you drive her car?" He could call someone, but now he was out, and he was done dealing with his brother. Having someone with him in the car might help him calm down a bit. In front of Kagome's mother he'd have to be serene, and it would increase his control over his emotions.

This stress was going to kill him.

-P-

The burgundy drapes of his window were opened as he stared out at the moon. His fingers were gently tapping against the wooden frame, his breathing rate slow. The bright red numbers of his alarm were flashing, indicating it was 4:00 am. He had attempted to get some sleep, but his mind refused to be put to rest.

All he could think about was her.

At least he knew he would be the first to know everything since Mrs. Higurashi had been put as the number to contact. If they didn't call before visiting hours started, he would spend the whole day there until they kicked him out.

This was not the way he had hoped for her to spend her birthday. Sesshomaru couldn't chase away the feeling of guilt he was experiencing. What if he had spent the day with her? It would have still been some sort of cover. Instead, he had been stuck in an office, doing the work his half brother had failed to do.

If Sesshomaru had been with her, he could have pushed her out of the way; he could be the one laying in a hospital bed instead of her.

In a moment of rage he hit the window, almost hard enough to shatter it.

He tilted his head back before allowing himself to drop on the ground. His body was beyond exhausted from all the stress, but he could not sleep. His heart was constantly hammering in his chest so hard that it almost hurt.

Kagome was an angel, someone he had to protect, and he had failed.

She was different from everyone he knew, he had found out a year ago. It was why he couldn't let her go. Never had he been lovesick before, but she had strung a cord in his heart and it kept echoing ever since. His life without her would be empty. He was a shell before and she added life into his soul.

He couldn't lose her now.

Suddenly, the phone rang, the sound filling the whole room.

It was his house, thus his phone, yet he couldn't bring himself to answer it. What if it was the hospital? Miyu already knew she could answer herself if the hospital was to call, so he wouldn't have to. Sesshomaru didn't even want to look who was calling, but when the sound ceased after the second ring, he knew.

Mrs. Higurashi had answered.

His heart was pounding through, nearly breaking out of his chest as he waited, silence invading the room. He waited to hear her footsteps, waited to hear her voice. All he could hope was that she was bearing good news. He could feel his blood pumping through his veins as he finally heard the gentle knock on his bedroom door.

"Sesshomaru?"

He rose to his feet, and rushed to the door as fast as possible, nearly swinging it open.

"It's Kagome, she's awake," said Miyu through the tears.

Without thinking, she reached out for him in relief pressing her face in his chest. Sesshomaru, a bit taken back, gently wrapped his arms around her, holding her. He could feel her body shaking, and he held her a bit tighter.

The feeling of knowing Kagome was awake washed over him. It didn't matter that she wasn't perfectly fine, but at least they were heading in the right direction. All he wanted to do was hold her, and promise her everything would be okay. He'd take care of her 24/7 if he had too.

"I'll drive us there," he said as she pulled away.

Sesshomaru was about to walk in to grab his jacket when he felt Miyu's hand on his arm stopping him. "Kagome is lucky to have you. I know you've been a good friend to her."

He was a bit surprised by her words, especially since he didn't know she was aware of her daughter's pain since Kagome had kept it from her. A bit uncomfortable, he wasn't sure what to say.

A small laugh escaped Miyu as she noticed his confused expression. "A mother knows."

She didn't know how badly her daughter had been hurt, but during the last year she had been able to hear pain hidden in Kagome's voice. She never mentioned it, knowing that if Kagome wanted to share she would do it when she would be ready. However, when her daughter spoke about Sesshomaru, that pain disappeared.

Miyu didn't know what he did for her, but whatever it was, she was grateful. She was far from her daughter now, and she was glad to know she was looked after.

Sesshomaru nodded, understand it was a mother thing. "I'm doing my best." Apparently though, it wasn't enough since she had gotten hurt anyway.

"Don't be so hard on yourself," she said before lifting her hand, wiping her tears away. "I'm sure she'll be happy to see you once we arrived."

Miyu gave his arm a gentle squeeze before walking out of his doorway. "I'll get Sota."

As Sesshomaru watched her leave, he realized just how much Kagome was taking after her mother. Both of them appeared very strong, yet you had this inner desire to protect them.

The rush of things caught up to him again, and he grabbed his jacket before heading out. They could always call Miroku and Sango in the car, for now, he just wanted to arrive by her side as quickly as possible. Hopefully, this time, Inuyasha wouldn't be around.

He couldn't ask for his half brother to be kept out of the hospital, but he could make sure he couldn't get anywhere near Kagome's room. If he had to beat the living out of him, he would.

But for now, he'd focus on getting to her, and making sure with his own two eyes that she was fine. He wanted to hear her voice, he wanted to see her. All he wanted to do was see her smile again, and her eyes shine.

That alone would make his heart beat right again.

-P-

If you feel a typical storyline coming up, read the A.N at the end of the chapter.

Creeping Willow: Love Forsaken

Thank you Daniella for beta-reading

Pink Carnation

Chapter 3: Creeping Willow

Bright lights blinded her as she tried to make up the scenery in front of her. She could hear many voices, but couldn't understand what they were saying, nor did she recognize them. Kagome tried to lift her hands in an attempt to shield herself from the light, but her arms refused to move.

Panic took hold of her heart, and she felt herself breathing harder by the second.

"Please miss, calm down. Everything is fine now."

Kagome tried to squint her eyes in an effort to have a clearer picture, but it was hopeless. It was then that a sharp pain went through her head and all she could do was wince. Her lips were burning, and her skin was scorched, making it feel as it wasn't hers, but a costume she had on.

She opened her mouth desperately wanting to talk, only to quickly realize it was taking all her energy to do so. "Wa-wwater," she finally managed to say.

Her head dizzy, she still felt it when someone brought a cup to her lips. Gently, she drank it until the person pulled it away. Then, in a last attempt to retrieve some of her vision she closed her eyes forcefully trying to chase away the veil that was blinding her.

When she opened her eyes again, it was a bit better. Lines weren't sharp, but she could distinguish people and objects. She wanted more than anything to ask what happened, especially since she could feel as if she was attached to some sort of tubes.

"W-where?"

"You're in the hospital Miss. You were in a car accident."

Car accident? No, it was impossible! If she had been in an accident she would remember wouldn't she? But. Wait. A hospital? What happened, how did the accident occur? Surely, she had been doing something. For the life of her, she couldn't remember what.

All of the sudden, her eyelids became extremely heavy and Kagome found herself fighting to stay awake. She turned to look at her arm, and saw they were pulling out a needle? Had they injected her with something?

"What's-s this?"

"Don't worry Miss; it's only to help you."

Help? Someone hitting her with a hammer on the head sounded pretty helpful at the moment; why couldn't they do that instead? As the seconds passed, her struggle only increased until she fully closed her eyes, allowing herself to give into the soothing feeling.

There was rain. It was pouring outside, and she was cold.

Her eyes suddenly snapped open, causing her to be even more confused. Had she just fallen in and out of consciousness?

Kagome lifted her arm trying to reach out for the first thing she could, which happened to be someone's arm. "Where is he?"

"Where is who Miss?"

"I was supposed to see him," she said, making less and less sense even to herself.

The nurse turned to another nurse, before gesturing for a needle. "If we can just bring her fever down, she should feel and act much better."

There was no longer anything wrong with her and her life was not in danger, but the pain and fever were making her delirious. A little bit of rest, and she would be better.

Kagome was in and out of consciousness as she felt something cold being put on her head. Then she could hear them leave the room, and her eyes filled with tears. She felt alone and scared, and she wanted him by her side.

The loneliness was bringing fear within her.

Would he come see her?

-P-

Everyone, minus Inuyasha, was gathered in the doctor's office waiting to hear the latest news about Kagome before they were allowed to see her. They had been waiting for over an hour and their stress level was high as they were afraid not everything was well. When the doctor finally walked in with his files under his arm, everyone held their breath for a second.

The doctor took seat before looking at all of them. "Miss Higurashi woke up sooner than we expected, which is a good thing." He didn't want to ease them into the bad revelation just yet, so he began with the good news.

"Her speech was normal, however she did seem a bit confused but it's perfectly normal. We're not sure how her motor skills are yet since she hasn't gotten out of bed. From the look of it though, she should be fine."

There had been a few cases like her, and from the look of things, she would be fine. Most people only suffer mild trauma, and since she was recovering quickly, there was almost nothing to worry about.

Miyu exhaled in relief. "Does that mean everything is okay?"

"Well, you see, she hasn't talked much yet. Perhaps there are a few damages to be discovered. Some can appear in the first weeks. Your daughter received most of the damage to her head, which can leave detrimental scars. It's almost a miracle that she pulled through alive."

A miracle they were all grateful for, but the thought that it had been one in a million for her to survive made them all feel a bit uneasy.

"Can we see her?" inquired Sango when nobody else asked.

"Yes, but she might get tired very quickly. You must not exhaust her." Patients that suffered traumas like her could easily go into shock depending on the conditions of the accident, and in her case they were fairly unknown.

"Thank you," said Sango, from behind and she was the first one out of the door.

She didn't want to hear what the specialists had to say. She wanted to see with her own two eyes if Kagome was well or not. Technically, she could have let Miyu go first but in her excitement, Sango almost dashed for Kagome's room. They had all spent the night worried sick, and frankly they were glad it was coming to an end.

Sango made sure to open the door quietly to not frightened Kagome, but before the brunette could full make it into the room, Kagome's voice broke the silence.

"Sango?" asked Kagome, her voice almost a whisper.

At the sound of Kagome's voice her heart dropped to her stomach, and before Sango could stop herself she sprinted in direction of her best friend, before wrapping her arms around her tightly, afraid to release her as if she was going to disappear.

A deep breath rolled off Kagome's lips at the tight embrace, but she smiled. She couldn't help the tears that formed in her eyes at the sight of a familiar face. Even though her vision was a bit blurry and her head pounding with pain, she would always recognize her friend, and she welcomed her presence.

Ever since she had woken up, all she had was strangers explaining to her what happened. On top of that, half the time she had been awake, she hadn't been all there up until an hour ago. It would be nice to ask someone who spoke her language to tell her what really took place. She wanted to remember the incident, but couldn't despite the doctors' assurances it was normal.

It took Sango a few seconds to pull away from Kagome, but when she did, she was grinning through the tears. "You're okay?" asked Sango, her voice cracking.

"I think so," said Kagome a slight blush on her cheeks, not wanting to worry her friend.

She felt terrible inside, as if she was about to puke, but from what she understood, it was a small price to pay to be alive. Except the sickness, she was on too many drugs to feel any kind of pain, meaning she was in her own little piece of heaven. The accident was still a blur in her mind, but the doctors told her it was perfectly normal.

It had probably happened too fast for her to realize what was going on.

The reunion between the two friends was cut short when the door opened, revealing the rest of her family and friends. The smile on Kagome's face only grew bigger as she observed everyone walk in. She actually felt a bit bad that she had worried everyone.

Clearly, she was still very clumsy if she had managed to get herself in a car accident while being on foot.

She tried to make out everyone's face but her vision was still a bit blurry so instead, Kagome smiled at all of them. The thought that everyone was concerned for her well being and had come to see her was filing her heart with joy. She felt Sango gently grab her hand, and she gave a squeeze.

Deep inside, she wondered if he was among the crowd. He had to be, he wouldn't forget about her. He would make time for her no matter what. He always had in the past; he wouldn't fail her this time.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around her, much like with Sango, and Kagome immediately recognized her mother's perfume. "Mom," she said her heart heavy.

Her mother was already carrying such a burden that Kagome felt extremely guilty to have added an extra load on her shoulders. She held on a bit tighter, the tears threatening to fall even more. To prevent herself from crying, she buried her face in the crook of Miyu's neck, much like she used to do when she was younger.

The whole time Kagome was being reunited with friends and family, his amber eyes never left her. He didn't mind that she hadn't noticed him through the crowd, especially considering what happened to her. Also, he was in no rush to be by her side, only because he knew she needed to divide her time equally.

But his heart was aching for her presence. It was as if he needed to touch her to make sure she was alive and well. Nonetheless, he held himself back making sure he was a bit further from the group.

Even though she had gone through a horrible experience, she was glowing as if nothing had happened. He had to agree with the doctor; she looked like a walking miracle. There were still the bandages on her head, but the tubes connected to her nose were gone and all there were left were the ones on her arms. She nearly looked as good as new.

Kagome felt her heart jump in her chest at every person that came to hug her, waiting for him to be next. She was happy to see everyone, but him, she truly wanted to. The feeling of being in his arms would make her all better, she knew it.

Sesshomaru took a deep breath when he realized it was his turn to hold her. Happiness filled him as he walked towards her, joyful to see that the usual twinkle of life in her grey orbs was still present.

Her heart skipped a beat when finally the familiar silver hair came in view.

But then suddenly to everyone's surprise, she backed away, as if she had been burned.

Kagome knitted her eyebrows together, clearly confused. It had to be a mistake right? She felt a bit nervous, since she didn't want to insult anyone, but she had to ask. "Who are you? You're not… I mean I thought you were Inuyasha."

At the mention of his name, everyone froze in place, shocked beyond belief. However, nobody took her words as hard as Sesshomaru did. For the next seconds, he appeared to be a statue. He wasn't twitching, moving, or breathing. Sango felt a panic fill her as the situation seemed too insane to be true.

Had she really said Inuyasha?

Sesshomaru felt a new kind of rage fill his blood but still he couldn't react to what had just taken place.

"Kagome, what are you talking about? This is Sesshomaru," said Sango, nearly sliding herself between Sesshomaru and Kagome as if she was afraid a murder would take place.

"You remember Sesshomaru right?" Why wouldn't she know him? They had spent every day of the last year together! He was the one that glued back all the pieces of her broken heart!

Kagome tilted her head back slightly, which caused her to wince in pain, doing her best to remember. Although, she didn't understand why they were so surprised that she didn't know him. She didn't recall seeing him before. Sesshomaru… she had heard that name before. Oh.

"Of course I know Sesshomaru!"

Her words caused Sango to smile, exhaling in relief. For a second, Kagome had scared the life out of her.

"He's Inuyasha's older brother."

And the world ceased to turn once more.

Sesshomaru wanted to move, or even talk to her, heck maybe even scream, but he couldn't. All he could do was hear her words echo in his mind over and over again. Who are you? Inuyasha's brother. Who are you? Inuyasha's brother. Inuyasha's fucking brother!

His eyes were locked on Kagome while flurries of emotions went through his amber eyes. His throat was dry, while there were no words to explain the suffering he was experiencing. Kagome had been happy to see everyone; she didn't seem to have forgotten any of them but him. He was just Inuyasha's brother?

Sango could feel the tension rising in the room as everyone was at loss for words. How could she not know Sesshomaru, when she seemed to recall who everyone was? Deciding to help out a bit, she put her hand on Sesshomaru's arm nearly causing him to jump.

Sesshomaru looked down at her, his eyes pleading for an answer, but since she couldn't provide him with one she glanced away. Gently, she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and began heading out of the room. If they wanted an answer, they wouldn't obtain it there; they needed to speak with someone.

Meanwhile Kagome watched her best friend walk out with a man she barely knew, baffled by what was taken place. Ever since she hadn't recognized Inuyasha's brother, everyone had begun acting very strangely. Could it be there was something she didn't know?

"Ma, what's going on?" inquired Kagome, as she shifted in her bed slightly removing the pressure from her left side which was killing her.

Miyu bit on her bottom lip, before shaking her head a bit. "It's nothing honey."

Truth be told, Miyu was terrified, but her daughter had gone through such so much during the last 24 hours that Mrs. Higurashi didn't feel like adding to her stress level. Until they would hear the words from the doctor's mouth, nothing would be said.

Meanwhile, Sango guided a near zombie like Sesshomaru to a seat near the room. "I'll go get her doctor," she said, before patting him on the back.

When it came to Sesshomaru and emotions, it was always a difficult subject, but now more than ever and frankly she couldn't blame him. Sango didn't know how she would react if Kagome didn't recognize her. After all the devotion he had invested in their relationship, it was almost heart breaking.

She tried to avoid thinking about the worst as she hurried to the doctor's office. In her impatience she banged on the door as soon as she reached it. It took a few seconds for the doctor to open it, and once he came in view, he appeared to be a bit annoyed.

Sango ignored his clear emotions, and pressed her palm against the doorway. "Kagome, she… she forgot someone. I mean she can't remember; she doesn't know she knows him. Someone important."

She was aware that she wasn't making much sense, but she didn't know how else to explain it since Kagome remembered everyone else.

"Memory loss…" said the doctor, as he led the way back to Kagome's room.

Sango felt her heart skip a jump; she didn't like the permanent fate of his words. Could it be that Kagome would never remember Sesshomaru? For both their sakes, she hoped it was not the case.

-P-

Sango, Miroku, Sota, and Sesshomaru were all sitting in the waiting room waiting for either Miyu, or Kagome to emerge. The doctor had decided to run a few test on Kagome, and her mother had decided to accompany her to provide some support. Meanwhile, everyone else was left waiting, much like they had been doing all day.

Of course, the wait was worse for Sesshomaru.

Ever since Kagome had failed to recognize him, he had been soulless. For the last forty-five minutes he had been sitting in the same spot, same position, not saying one word. His eyes were fixed on a vending machine, never flickering or anything. To be honest, his attitude was scaring Sango.

"I'm sure it's just a temporary side effect," she said, trying to get a reaction out of him.

Sango wanted to believe her own words, but she wasn't sure it was a possibility. What kind of side effect would make Kagome forget about one person only? The whole thing simply didn't make sense. At least, it was a good thing Inuyasha wasn't around, or the situation would have gone from bad to worse.

Sesshomaru gave her the slightest nod, but he was barely paying attention. He couldn't forget the look on her face when she had realized he was himself instead of Inuyasha; it would forever be burned in his mind. She had been so disappointed, and it ripped his heart out of his chest.

For a year, he had wanted nothing more but to break that useless bastard's neck and now she was friends with him? Had she forgotten all about what he had done to her? Her wound was so deep! There was no way she couldn't recall what occurred!

Footsteps coming down the hall attracted everyone's attention, forcing Sesshomaru to pull himself away from his thoughts.

Stress and relief took hold of everyone as Miyu approached. She was glancing down at the floor, tears filled her brown eyes. Sango closed her eyes, fearing for the worst as she moved out of the way so Miyu could sit and explain things to them.

Mrs. Higurashi felt like she had a lump caught in her throat as she sat down. Out of all the possible outcomes, this one was a horrible one. She was well aware that everyone expected an explanation, but she could hardly find her voice, so she remained silent.

Sango grabbed Mrs. Higurashi's hand in hers, and held on tightly.

Fortunately for everyone's curious and worried mind, the doctor was also making his way towards them. He appeared to be a bit stressed as he massaged the sides of his head with his thumb and index.

"I'm afraid Miss Higurashi is suffering from a serious head trauma." This was the kind of information he didn't like to give since it came with so many uncertainties. "Sometimes during an accident, the brain can be damaged or it can try to protect itself from experiencing pain. Miss Higurashi might have been so scared that her brain tried to block the events concerning her accident."

He sighed heavily, before re-adjusting his glasses. "However, it appears that it went a bit further than that. Miss Higurashi is one year behind. She has forgotten all about the recent year, and is not aware that it has passed."

His words dropped like a bombshell on everyone.

"At the moment, it's difficult to say if she will ever recover that year. Some patients remember within the first few weeks, while other's take more time. There's also some who never do."

Kagome had forgotten all about the hardships she had experienced, all the pain and suffering Inuyasha had put her through? She had forgotten him, all the time, and countless hours they had shared together? The part of her life, which he had been in, had been completely erased?

"Now, there will be some precautions to take. Since she is suffering from a trauma, you have to be careful. There is certain information you can tell her, but some you cannot. The point is to avoid anything that could shock her, or cause a panic. If such a thing was to happen, her condition might get worse. She could even forget everything."

She could not be reminded of the life she had, instead they had to feed her the cobwebs of lies she was in back then?

"You will have to tell her a year passed by, since it's better she find out from friends and family then having the shock on her own. For the rest, I will leave in your judgment as to what she can handle."

The doctor gave them a nod, before leaving them alone, and speechless.

To say that the situation was delicate was one way of putting it. Many important things had happened to Kagome during the last year, Inuyasha being the biggest one. He was also going to be the most difficult subject to deal with.

"We can't tell her about Inuyasha," said Miroku being mindful of his words in presence of Mrs. Higurashi. "It'll break her heart to know they are not together."

He glanced at Sesshomaru who knew out of all of them, exactly how Kagome could break down. Unfortunately, Sesshomaru wasn't looking at him, instead his eyes were fixed on his hands as if he was currently avoiding any part of reality, and Miroku couldn't blame him.

"Well, first of all, I think someone should tell her about her memory loss. But it wouldn't be too good if it was crowded." Sango turned her body to the side slightly so she was facing Miyu. "I think it would be better for Kagome if you told her."

Technically, anyone could tell her and the shock would be the same, but Sango was trying to get Mrs. Higurashi out of hearing range so they could discuss the Inuyasha dilemma. It would be the most difficult subject, and they had to make sure whatever they chose to do, would be flawless.

Miyu slowly nodded before rising to her feet, her face flustered from the rush of emotions. She was a bit afraid to tell Kagome what had happened, afraid she would fall into a state of shock, and that they might lose her for good. Nonetheless, she desperately tried to hold on to positive thoughts.

By then time Miyu arrived in Kagome's room, she was still returning to her previous position. They had just brought her back from the test room, and all those movements and questions had made her brain throb with pain. Not only that, but she was also extremely worried; she hadn't missed the concerned looks on their faces.

When she heard the floor cracking, she turned her head, only to see her mother come her way. Her chocolate eyes were nearly overflowing with tears, and Kagome was almost ready to accept the worst. Slowly she sat down comfortable in the bed, waiting for her mother to break the news.

Miyu pulled a chair near the bed before sitting down. She then reached out for her daughter's hand, enveloping it with her own. There was no perfect way to announce it, but she had to jump and do it.

"Kagome, promise me you'll remain calm. It's very important."

Kagome nodded, more confused than ever.

Her mother sighed before peering away. "There is a temporary side effect to your accident Kagome. You forgot the last year of your life."

Miyu felt her daughter's grip increase, as tears flowed in her eyes. You forgot the last year of your life. Was that the reason why they had run so many tests? Why everyone looked surprised by every little thing she did? No, it couldn't be! Someone didn't just forget a whole year!

Her stomach began to twist in horror, as she violently shook her head. "No. No." She refused to accept the fact that she had forgotten.

She could remember yesterday couldn't she? Yes. She had been out with Inuyasha, at her house, watching movies. He had finished work early, and had dropped at her house with movies, and takeout food. If she remembered that, it meant she hadn't forgotten right?

But then, slowly throughout Kagome's panic, the links of reasons were made.

If she was with Inuyasha… how did she get hit by a car?

It felt as if her heart had ceased to pump as she swallowed hard. Yesterday, she hadn't come out of the house at all. If she hadn't it meant… no they couldn't be right. Kagome released her mother's hand before wrapping her arms around her legs, burying her face in her knees. It wasn't possible! She refused to forget!

Kagome found herself banging her head on her knees as hard as she could as a hopeless attempt to retrieve her memory. Noticing her destructive behavior, Miyu rushed into the bed, and grabbed her daughter's head in her hand, preventing her from inflicting herself further harm.

"Kagome, please, you have to calm down," Miyu nearly begged with a broken heart.

Before Kagome knew it, she was releasing her legs before wrapping her arms around her mother's neck. She was scared, terrified, of her own self. She was trying so hard to force her brain to remember, but it was failing. Why had she forgotten? The accident was a terrible accident, but why would she want to erase it from her memory so badly taking a year of her life with it?

Miyu gently caressed Kagome's hair, trying to ease the pain. If she could, she would take the suffering in her place but she couldn't. "It'll be okay, Kagome. I promise."

Kagome was softly sobbing, her face buried in the crook of her mother's neck. "Mom, I'm missing a – a year!"

Her mother shook her head, tightening her hold. "It's not permanent." The doctor had voiced the possibility of it being everlasting, but Miyu knew her daughter was strong. She had never failed in front of hardships, and she believed in her capacity of recovering.

"Over time, it'll slowly come back to you."

Kagome clenched to her mother's shirt, wanting nothing more than to believe her words. Oh how badly did she want to know what happened to her. She wanted to stop the tears, but they were overflowing and out of control. Her heart needed the tears to help her feel better.

She closed her eyes, listening to the gentle words her mother was whispering in her ear, and it reminded her of her childhood. Kagome allowed her exhausted self to relax in her mother's arms, her heart wounded by the things that were past recalling.

Even if it was not true, she would hold on to her mother's world, and believe she would remember even if it seemed impossible.

-P-

"We're going to need to inspect every corner of her life, to make sure nothing is left out," said Sango, before leaning into her chair. "We'll even have to go through her apartment, and remove anything that might cause her to panic because she can't remember."

"The doctor said she'd be out by next week," said Miroku, pitching in. "It gives us that short amount of time to make sure everything is okay."

Although Sango couldn't say it out loud, it also meant removing any trace of Sesshomaru from her life. The stories with Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were very linked together, and one couldn't be explained without the other. Unfortunately, that meant for Sesshomaru that he couldn't be with Kagome the way he used to, especially since in her mind she was… still dating Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha is going to be a big problem," Sango pointed out before sighing. "We can't tell her they broke ups because that would be the worst mistake considering her current state."

"That would mean Inuyasha needs to date her?" asked Miroku, almost disgusted. The last thing he wanted was Inuyasha anywhere near Kagome.

"Maybe not.. What if we tell her he's on some business trip?" Anything to avoid involving Inuyasha into this. Having him date Kagome was worse than actually telling her the truth.

"She'll wonder why he didn't call, why he's not worried about her. Who knows how long this is going to take, we might not be able to keep up the charade."

Sango chewed on her bottom, desperate to find an answer to their current problem. Anything seemed better than allowing Kagome to fall into Inuyasha's paws once more. She took that silent moment to glance at Sesshomaru. His eyes were bloodshot red but for the first time he had shifted his gaze. He was looking at Kagome's room, his eyes longing.

Not only had she forgotten their time together, but she thought she loved Inuyasha. It was as if the fucking bastard was getting a chance to start anew, without being held responsible for the previous stupidities he had done. It wasn't fucking fair; why did he always get a get out of jail free card?

He shouldn't be allowed around Kagome, he didn't deserve her. He had broken her, toyed with her, and it was enough. Who knew what he might do to her this time around if they gave him a chance? For a year he had devoted himself to Kagome, and he didn't want to lose her, not even her friendship.

He didn't need her to be in love with him, he just required for her to be in his life.

How could he go back to the empty shell he was before, when he had a taste of completion?

"I think our best option is to start with cleaning her apartment. We don't have to tell Inuyasha just yet, so when the time comes, we'll figure out something," Sango said finally breaking the silence.

"I don't think it's fair to leave me out, ya know?"

Sango nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Inuyasha's voice coming from behind her. Quickly, she turned around only to see him leaning against the wall, a smirk on his face. Immediately she could tell he had heard too much of their conversation. She closed her eyes, cursing at herself; this was not good.

"I mean, Kagome loves me. It wouldn't be fair for her to think I don't want to see her right?"

Miss Higurashi had called him in the middle of the night but he had been so passed out, that he hadn't heard the phone. It was only a couple of hours later, when he had woken up to go to work that he had seen he had a message on his answering machine. Obviously, he had called in sick at work and had rushed to the hospital.

Boy was he glad he arrived when he did.

Those bastards were going to try to keep him from Kagome. However, now that he knew there was nothing they could do to stop him. Kagome thought she was with him; she wanted him by her side. His luck couldn't have been better! She had forgotten all about the misunderstanding, and now, they could pick up where they had left off.

Once again, Kagome was his.

"You know she'll remember."

Inuyasha tilted his head to the side a bit. "I dunno. She must have been pretty sad during the last year. I'm sure if I make her happy enough, she won't want to recall the past year."

His words stung like knives but there might be some truth to them. Inuyasha being involved with this was the worst thing that could happen. They despised him, and they all knew he was bound to hurt her again. Kagome couldn't go through another experience like that!

Sesshomaru was silent, hearing the conversation without being fully there. His half-brother was correct; a part of the previous year had been hard on Kagome. Although she had happy moments, she had been haunted by what Inuyasha did to her. What if it was why her brain decided to take it out?

After all, Kagome would be happier now than she had been in a long time.

All those months, he wished nothing more than to see a true smile adorn her face, and it was going to happen. The fact though that Inuyasha would be the reason for it, left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. It would fill her with joy to have Inuyasha by her side but, at the same time, he was the man Sesshomaru had promised he'd keep away from Kagome.

"Look Inuyasha, this isn't about you, it's about Kagome."

"Yeah, and I'm gonna do what's good for her," said Inuyasha, as he walked past all of them, aiming for Kagome's room.

He knew they were hopeless, that they couldn't do anything to stop him. How would they explain to Kagome why they were kicking him out without telling her the full story? Whatever they did, he would always have the upper hand. A smile was on his face, as he opened the door, only to reveal Miyu and Kagome in an embrace.

As soon as Kagome heard the door open, she pulled away from her mother a bit. When she noticed the familiar features, her heart began to throb in her chest; would it be the right person this time? And then, he fully came in view, and her heart stopped beating.

Kagome released her mother before jumping out of bed a bit too quickly, almost slipping, as she threw herself in Inuyasha's arms. Tightly, she wrapped her arms around his neck while hiding her face in his chest. When they told her she had forgotten the last year she was afraid she would have lost her memories of him as well.

But she remembered everything; his smell, his face, his warmth.

Tears of happiness poured out of her eyes, as she held him even tighter. Inuyasha, still grinning, brought her body closer to his, nearly crushing her. He had remembered the way her fragile body felt in his arms. It was a gift to be able to hold her once more. No more bad fights hanging over them, just him and Kagome.

He gently kissed the top of her head before running his fingers through her hair. "It's okay Kagome, I'm here. Everything will be fine now."

And she believed him.

Meanwhile Sango was standing in front of the door panicking. If she had to, she would tied up Inuyasha and leave him for dead in a dumpster; anything so he couldn't have Kagome again. Her rage was flaring, and her judgment was clouded. She turned to glance at Sesshomaru, her eyes piercing through his soul.

"Are you going to let him do this to her? I know you're hurt, but you've been sitting here like a ghost! Kagome needs you."

Kagome used to need him, but apparently, she had taken care of her pain all on her own. She had found a way to put a halt to the suffering and now she would be happy again. She might have required his help in the past, but it was no longer true.

Without saying a word, Sesshomaru grabbed his jacket from the chair and stood up. Sango was waiting for him to barge into Kagome's room to go see her, talk to her, even if she didn't remember, but the look in his eyes told her he wouldn't. Was he running away?

He threw his jacket over his shoulder, before slowly walking past everyone.

Sango's mouth hung open a bit, as she began to breathe heavily. "You're just going to walk out of her life, because she forgot about you?" she nearly screamed her tone clearly accusing him of being a coward.

Sesshomaru stopped in his tracks, but he never turned around. "I'm merely respecting the decision that was made. The part of her life where I was in was erased. Clearly the last year was nothing but a waste of time, and a bad memory."

Once he was done speaking, he resumed his walking and all Sango could do was watch him. It was obvious by his words that he was hurt. Unfortunately, without him they wouldn't recover the new Kagome, nor would they be able to free her from Inuyasha's grip.

If only he could believe a little longer. Sango knew it wasn't him she was trying to forget about.

But Sesshomaru never came back. He couldn't because in his heart, he felt betrayed. They were about to remove him from her life, as if he hadn't existed. He wouldn't talk to her again, or see her smile in the morning.

From this day on, they were nothing but strangers to each other.

They meant nothing, they were nothing.

He finally understood the price of allowing others near your heart.

Pain and suffering.

-P-

A/N 2: This won't be a "Kagome Forgets Sesshomaru – Gets with Inuyasha – Remembers – Gets with Sesshomaru" storyline. BUT It doesn't mean it's not Sess/Kag. It just means they get together some other way.

White Lilac; First Emotion of Love

Thank you Daniella for beta-reading!

Pink Carnation

Chapter 4: White Lilac

Sango sighed heavily as she put the phone down again. It didn't matter how many times she attempted to reach Sesshomaru because he would never answer. She could comprehend the fact that his feelings had been hurt, but it was no reason to completely forget about Kagome.

Had he really given up so easily?

After devoting a whole year of his life to Kagome he was already leaving her in to the hands of Inuyasha. Sango wasn't very close to Sesshomaru and frankly, she was more in this for Kagome than him, but still. She had gotten to know him during the last year, and she still thought he'd have the decency to pick up the phone. Kagome was going to need him soon, and he was the only one who could heal her.

Sango reached out for the phone, ready to dial his phone number again, when a hand stopped her.

"He's not going to answer," said Miroku before sitting down beside her.

It frustrated him as well that Sesshomaru had walked away, but if there was one thing he knew it was that you didn't want to further aggravate an irritated Sesshomaru. The more she called the less chance she had to obtain an answer from him.

Unfortunately for them, the best thing to do was to leave him alone and wait for him to come around.

"When he's ready, he will come."

Miroku watched as Sango ran her fingers through her hair, clearly exasperated, before slowly nodding. "I know. It's just, today we're supposed to be going through Kagome's apartment… and I don't know. I thought he'd like to be there."

Today was indeed going to be a difficult day, and erasing anything that could force a shock on Kagome would not be an easy task. He too had hoped for Sesshomaru's collaboration, yet he could not be blamed for his silence. How could they request of him that he delete himself from Kagome's life? It would be an unbearable task.

"Try to see things from his angle, Sango."

She was usually the rational one but today, her mind refused to be brilliant. It felt as if an ominous cloud of bad luck was raining over them. First there was Kagome's accident, followed by Inuyasha's renewed presence in her life, and now her best friend was also losing her rock in life. Sango wished for nothing more than to sit down with Sesshomaru, and talk him out of his insanity, but he was ignoring her as if she had never existed.

"I suppose you're right," said Sango, desperation showing her voice.

Her fingers lingered on the phone a bit longer, before she tore herself away. "What time will you be ready to go to Kagome's apartment?"

"5 o'clock."

Sango nodded before grabbing her jacket, which had been resting on her chair. "I'm going to the hospital. I don't want to give Inuyasha too much time to be alone with her."

Sango had taken the next few days off to make sure she was at the hospital during the allowed visiting hours every day. Inuyasha was quite the sneaky bastard, and she wouldn't allow him to take advantage of the situation more than he already was. Since the martial school was hers, she had the chance of being absent for as long as she wished.

"I'll meet you there, then."

As Sango aimed for the door, it hit her just how much everyone's morale was down. Miroku hadn't tried to grope her since, which was quite unusual for him. Then again, he almost considered Kagome like a little sister, much like she did.

Even though the drive to the hospital was short, it worried Sango. After all, her best friend had gotten injured because of a car accident. The past two days, she found herself driving more carefully than she ever had before.

While she began heading to the hospital, her thoughts drifted to Miyu. Sesshomaru had not put a halt to his invitation, but Sango could only imagine how awkward things were, since Sesshomaru probably refused to even hear the name Kagome. If she had room, Sango would have invited Miyu and Sota to stay with her to perhaps make the situation a bit easier.

A few minutes went along before she arrived at the hospital. Sango hurried to park the car, in a rush to make her way up to Kagome's room. Inuyasha was a rotten bastard, and honestly it was taking all of her self control to not reveal the truth to Kagome. She almost wanted to break Inuyasha's neck, just to keep him away.

When Sango reached Kagome's room, she was surprised to find the door closed. Immediately, her senses were tickling her because she knew it meant neither Miyu nor Sota were there; only Inuyasha. She knitted her eyebrows together, heading for the door with determined steps.

Without giving a warning, Sango flung the door open almost expecting a romantic scene. Instead, to her surprise, she found Kagome fast asleep in the hospital bed while Inuyasha was sitting on a chair nearby flipping through a magazine, obviously bored.

The noise created by Sango attracted his attention, and now his focus was on her. "Ya mind bein' careful? She's sleepin' ya know."

Inuyasha's caring made her sick to her stomach and she didn't take the time to answer him. Instead, she focused on the reason of her presence; her friend. Sango grabbed Kagome's hand, squeezing it tightly. Since regaining consciousness, Kagome had been able to mostly do everything on her own. Minus the memory loss, there was absolutely no other damage which had come as a relief.

However, she still had the big bandage wrapped around her head which was still healing. The fact that her head still required recovery gave everyone hopes that she would eventually remember the missing chunks of her life.

Not wanting to wake up her friend who desperately needed her rest, Sango pulled a chair near the bed before sitting down. She could feel Inuyasha's attention shift in her direction, but she ignored him. Sango was aware that he'd prefer to be alone with Kagome, but it wasn't going to happen.

Inuyasha felt his toes twitch, as he desperately tried to remain silent. Since his reunion with Kagome, many questions had been burning his mind but unfortunately Kagome couldn't answer any of them since they involved her lost memory.

It didn't leave him with many options, especially since from what he had gathered Miyu didn't know much about the relationship between Sesshomaru and Kagome. Inuyasha never thought his brother would be involved with anyone, let alone Kagome. He even thought he was gay for a while.

And how had the two become such good friends?

"Hey," he tried; his voice quiet enough to not disturb Kagome.

Sango raised her head from the book she had been reading only to glare at Inuyasha. She didn't utter a word, but her eyes remained locked on him as if she waiting for him to proceed.

Inuyasha was known to have quite the temper, but he was conscious that if he was too hot headed Sango would ignore him. He took a deep breath to make sure he was as relaxed as possible.

"How does Sesshomaru know Kagome?"

Sango's fingers crisped the cover of the book before she glanced away. "Probably through you when you introduced her," she replied, the sarcasm obvious in her voice.

She remembered that time, when they all used to be friends, and Kagome was deeply in love with who they thought was a good guy. At least the truth had been found out before anything serious happened between the two of them.

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed, but he kept himself in check. "How are they friends?"

Sango had the urge to add a little comment which would probably serve Inuyasha right, but by risking that it might backfire so she held herself back. "Because of you."

Knowing he would have another question coming her way, she put her book down on her lap and turned her body so she was completely facing him. "What happened between Sesshomaru and Kagome is none of your business. It's theirs. And seeing as how neither can nor will talk about it, butt out."

The thought of Sesshomaru with his Kagome still left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. "It don't matter what kind relationship they had. Kagome is mine again."

"I'll make sure it doesn't stay that way" said Sango, before retrieving her book.

Inuyasha allowed his eyes to linger on Sango a bit more, processing her threat. She could talk all she wanted, but there was nothing she could do. As long as Kagome's memories remained hazy, she would be all his. If she happened to remember, then he would deal with things when it would occur.

For now, as far as he was concerned, Kagome was his girlfriend.

-P-

Sesshomaru twisted his pen in between his fingers again before dropping it on his desk. Usually, he'd have done most of his work by noon but today, he could not. All that filled his mind were thoughts of her; the memory of her face was haunting him. It had been one thing to walk away from the hospital, but it was another to forget about her.

Who had he been kidding?

If he had been unable to not fall in love, and remain clung to her for a year, how did he except to let go now? But the situation was so complicated…

Perhaps if his half brother was not in the picture, it would have been much easier. Heck, maybe he would have restarted their relationship from scratch in the blink of an eye but he couldn't. Inuyasha was around, and in Kagome's mind her feelings for him were strong. Sesshomaru couldn't be in her vicinity because he couldn't bare the sight of them together.

He had held her while she was broken beyond repair, and the thought of such suffering repeating itself was making his stomach knot.

Yet he was helpless.

She didn't know him, and he couldn't stand their love.

Problem was he didn't know how to get rid of the intense feelings he had for her because he had never been stuck in such a situation in the past. Now, he was beginning to understand why he had never made that mistake. However, it also gave him a small look inside on how Kagome was truly feeling after the incident.

It also proved Inuyasha was a bastard.

He ran his fingers through his hair, his impatience increasing. He couldn't cease his thoughts about her and he couldn't do any work; he felt useless. Could there be something to distract his mind?

Sesshomaru peered at his phone where the red light was flashing, indicating he had messages. He didn't need to press the button to know that Sango's voice would come on if he did. She had been trying to call him for two days now and apparently she had no intention of given up.

And if she wasn't enough, there was also Mrs. Higurashi.

Obviously, he was not going to kick her out of his house but that also lead to uncomfortable situations. Every time she left for the hospital she would inquire if he was coming as well. Not knowing how to answer, he would simply mumble an answer before walking off.

He made sure she had a ride to drop her off and pick her up though.

A sigh broke free from him as his eyes landed on the only picture he had on his desk. Of course it had to be a picture of them together. Kagome had come into his office one day with her brand new camera, extremely excited. He had shared her enthusiasm, until she had insisted they try it out together.

As per usual, she hadn't given him a chance to say no and had pressed her face against his, with the silliest smile on her face. A few days later she had brought him a copy, even though he had not request it, and gave him a frame to put it in. Most of the time he kept it behind a few files and what not, perhaps to keep his business image, but lately, he had left it exposed.

His fingers trailed along the wooden frame, his heart feeling as if it was being squeezed and slowly ripped out of his chest. Gently, he gave it a small push causing it to tilt forward, hiding the picture.

It felt as if he was giving up, and perhaps he was.

But what else was he supposed to do?

His presence in her life would make no sense without her knowing about Inuyasha. Since they could not tell her that part, he was stuck being away from her. Yes, he could pray that she would remember and that everything would go back to normal, but there was the chance that it wouldn't.

He preferred to have no hope at all than fake ones. At least, he would not be disappointed.

As Sesshomaru attempted to chase her from his thoughts and resume his work, a knock on his door was heard. "Mr. Taisho?"

"Come in," he told his secretary, grabbing his pen again almost ready to pretend he had been working the whole time.

A small blond walked in, looking a bit nervous. "Mrs. Higurashi called, and left a message. She says that Miss. Higurashi will be out of the hospital in three days."

Even though he had not been hoping, his heart felt crushed. "She didn't say anything else?"

His secretary shook her head, wishing she could offer better news.

Sesshomaru gestured for her to leave, which she did quietly, not wanting to anger him. He put his palm down against the desk a bit louder and rougher than he intended causing a loud smacking noise to echo through his office.

If in three days she didn't recover her memory, then the bastard would have her trapped like a prey. Sesshomaru knew that Inuyasha wasn't technically doing anything wrong since Kagome was not being forced into anything, but it was unfair that the truth was kept from her.

Fuck.

Sesshomaru rose to his feet, before he began to pace in his office. He was so frustrated that he had been taken out of her life that the only thing he had thought of doing was to walk out, which he had done. Except, it was obviously not working since all he had on his mind was her.

But, wasn't there any way at all he could see her?

He couldn't even remember how many times he had seen Kagome before the last year. It had also been quick, and he rarely spoke to her. How could he explain coming into her life now without making her suspicious and perhaps causing her to go into shock?

If his relationship with his half-brother had been better, he would have been able to simply hang around but it was not the case and she knew it.

Was he so desperate for her presence in his life? He always knew she meant a great deal to him but he believed she would always be around, that he wouldn't need to miss her.

His frustration getting the best out of him, Sesshomaru violently punched the wall, puncturing a hole.

How would he get her back?

-P-

"Do you think she really didn't know?"

Miroku raised his head above the billboard which had Kagome's scrapbooked pictures, a bit confused. "Who didn't know what?"

Sango put down the pictures of Kagome and Sesshomaru she had been holding, and stood up. "Do you think Kagome really didn't know how Sesshomaru felt for her?"

Miroku put down the heavy board, before leaning against the wall. "It's hard to say. Kagome is very innocent, and it might have slipped by her."

She was an angel who often gave to others before herself and the only time she had been selfish had been at the beginning of her heartbreak, which anyone would have done. Heck, in the end Inuyasha had been almost obvious, and she hadn't seen any of the hints.

Sango shrugged her shoulders, before reaching out for one of the moving box. "I guess. But I mean, after everything he did, she didn't have a clue?"

"It's not like we can ask her now."

Sango nodded, her heart feeling heavy as she dragged the box in direction of Miroku so he could pack some of the pictures. Her attention was then focused on the one room she wasn't often allowed in. Kagome's art room. Technically, it wasn't any of her business what her friend was painting, but if there was something related to Sesshomaru… they couldn't leave it there.

Her steps were slow, as she headed for the room. In a way she felt like she was invading her friend's privacy, but it was required for her own safety. As she opened the door it creaked, causing her to rush her movements.

As per usual, all the paintings were covered with a drape. To make sure she didn't disturb the way Kagome arranged her attempt at concealing her art she simply peeked under the drape, rather than taking off the whole thing. Most of the paintings she recognized from orders Kagome had received, some seemed to be leisurely work.

When Sango reached the last two paintings at the back, the first one surprised her. She arched her eyebrow at the blackness of the small canvas before covering it once again. It wasn't until she was at the last one that she realized there was one piece of art they couldn't keep. Sango was so in awe of it, she pulled away the whole drape, just to admire it.

"Is that Sesshomaru?" asked Miroku as he peeked in.

Sango slowly nodded her head, never glancing away from the painting. During the last few weeks, Kagome had locked herself into her art room, refusing access to anyone including Sesshomaru, and now Sango understood why. It was a breath taking painting of Sesshomaru, so realistic it felt as if it was coming to life. Every detail, every curve, every line; it was there. It was if she knew him better than she knew herself.

The sight caused Sango's eyes to become watery. This was the reason why they couldn't let Inuyasha back into her life; he didn't deserve her.

Sango's heart felt heavy as she delicately took the picture before handing it to Miroku. "Be careful with it. I'll keep it in my apartment for now."

She swallowed hard but dragged herself away from the room. It had been the last one. They had officially deleted Sesshomaru from her life and any details that might remind her of the heartbreak she had experienced last year. Now all that remained was a fake happiness.

Feeling uncomfortable and uneasy, she closed the door behind her as she walked out.

All she could do was hope for Kagome to retrieve her sanity.

-P-

The room was nearly engulfed in darkness, the moonlight being the only source of brightness. Kagome had her head pressed against the pillow as she was sitting in the bed, unable to find rest.

Her friends were so concerned about her and her safety, that for their sake, she had been putting on a strong façade. But when she was completely alone it was harder to hide her pain and frustration.

From the look of things, it seemed she hadn't missed much during the last year yet it was frustrating. Doctors had told her to not force herself to remember, and yet she couldn't help it. She had forgotten a whole year of her life, and somewhere deep inside, she wanted it back.

A year later, she was still with Inuyasha, she now had her own apartment, and apparently she had freelance work pretty often.

But then, why did her chest hurt sometimes?

It was a feeling she couldn't explain; almost as if something had taken hold of her heart. It mostly happened when she was alone, which was not surprising since she was left with her thoughts. When she was with Inuyasha though, it all went away. At least she knew one thing in her life was right.

There was a chance she'd never remember. The doctors hadn't told her directly, but she had overhead them talk.

When Kagome thought about recalling the missing events in her life, she was almost scared. As if there was something terrifying. Could it be that she was afraid of the accident? She couldn't remember at all what had occurred; perhaps it had been very painful and her mind didn't wish for her to relive through it again.

Would it be okay if she never remembered?

Maybe she was feeling a hint of depression, and she couldn't help but wonder if it was because she was alone. For the moment, she was craving company as if she had been deprived from it for so long. Perhaps she wished to have Inuyasha by her side.

Inuyasha.

He had been acting different with her she could tell. He wasn't as affectionate as she had expected him to be. Sometimes, she was getting the impression he was acting like a stranger, but he had never been good with emotions. Also, he was perhaps being considerate since she was still recovering from the accident.

She gently lifted her hand before touching her head, feeling the bandage under her touch. That day, she could have very well died. It sent a shiver down her spine as she began thinking about all the things she hadn't done yet. Could it be that she had been holding back on life? Did she not enjoy the little things enough?

Kagome closed her eyes, a sigh rolling off her lips.

Every time she tried to sleep, it was always the same thing; rain.

No matter how much she tried to clear her mind, all she was able to hear was the sound of the rain echoing off the pavement and footsteps digging through the mud. She had inquired about it, but the doctors had brushed it off, blaming it on her brain trying to fix itself.

After a few seconds, the sound of the rain ringing through her head was driving her crazy so her eyes snapped open. In an attempt to clear her mind, she reached out for the phone near her bed, bringing it onto her lap. She needed to talk to someone; she didn't want to be alone.

The only problem was Kagome didn't know whom she should call.

There was Inuyasha, or Sango.

She took a deep breath before her fingers trailed upon the number pad, where she began dialing Inuyasha's cell phone number. As soon as it went through, she held her breath as if she was afraid he wouldn't pick up the phone. Once the thought crossed her mind, she softly shook her head; it wasn't like Inuyasha to not answer.

When had he not been there?

The phone rang three times prior to Inuyasha picking up.

"Hello?" he said, his voice betraying his drowsiness.

"Inuyasha?"

Suddenly, it was as if he was a bit more alert. "Kagome? Is everything okay?"

Why had she called him again? It made her feel so silly; he had been sleeping and she had disturbed him.

"I'm fine," she said, hiding the trembling in her voice. "I just- I wanted to hear your voice."

Are you coming over?

As the thought hit her mind, she felt herself freeze. After saying such thing to Inuyasha, a feeling of déjà-vu hit her and it was as if her mind was trying to finish the situation. Inuyasha and her had never been together fully, at least, not that she could remember, which left her to wonder.

Had something happened during the last year? Was it regular for him to come over?

"-Kagome... Kag?"

Him calling her name brought her back to reality. However, since she had not heard his reply, she changed the subject by asking her own question. "Inuyasha? Do you come over my apartment often, like at night?"

A silence installed itself between them, as Inuyasha tried to think of the proper answer.

It couldn't be that she remembered anything, since if she did, she would have never called him to tell him she wanted to simply talk to him. Maybe she was just trying to remember the past year by herself? The situation was a bit tricky since he didn't want to make any mistakes.

It was one thing to be with her in the hospital, but it would be another to be alone with her in her condo. He was not a jerk, and he would not take advantage of the fact that she didn't remember much but he still intended on making some sort of progress with her.

Inuyasha had no intention of allowing this attempt to fail.

"Pretty much all the time. Why ya wanna know?"

If he told her he didn't then it might bring a halt to their relationship, since she would think they were still at that step. He didn't really want to lie to her, but he had no other choice.

Kagome pressed her lips together unsure if she should ask her next question, or even if it was appropriate to do it on the phone. Yet, she couldn't help but want to know, to chase away the unsettling feeling in her stomach.

"Inuyasha did we… well…"

She had always promised she'd save herself for the right person, and although she knew Inuyasha was the one for her she had never felt ready to take that step. Perhaps it was because she had been waiting for a big commitment. Nonetheless, many things could have changed during the last year, and she needed to know.

Inuyasha sighed, wondering why she had to be provided with all those answers now. He hadn't even begun to come up with his whole plan, and the fantasy year he would tell her about. Obviously she'd ask for memories sooner or later, and he wanted to be ready with good lies.

"No," he said, sounding a bit irritated.

She bit on her bottom lip, unsure of what to add. But before she could come up with something, Inuyasha jumped in. "Look. Kag. You should sleep. You're comin' back soon and all. You need rest."

Kagome nodded, even though he couldn't see her. "I guess you're right. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

She wanted to say those three little words, but her eyes were teary and her heart was caught in her throat. "Good night Inuyasha."

Without even hearing his goodnight greeting, Kagome hung up the phone before slowly putting it back in its place. As she rested her head back on the pillow, she found herself confused. Why did it hurt her so much?

She blamed it on her current state or perhaps on her accident that had still left her confused. Kagome tilted her head to the side before closing her eyes; she wouldn't let herself dwell upon such silliness again. She was still recovering, and she was a mess from everything that had happened.

In a few days, especially when she would resume her life, everything would be better and all those horrible feelings would stop haunting her.

She would be back to herself once more and soon enough she'd remember.

Hopefully.

-P-

Sesshomaru's fingers were twitching as he tapped them along the wheel. Somehow, he had found himself corned by Miyu and now he was currently driving her and Sota to the hospital. Today was the day Kagome was returning to her apartment, and Miyu was the one who would help her home and remain with her for a few days.

He could have sent a driver, even paid for a cab, but she had barely given him a chance to say no. When she had subtlety pressured him into saying yes, she had reminded him of Kagome. The almost puppy eyes, the watery eyes, the soft tone, wondering what was wrong.

Sesshomaru was aware that Miyu was not oblivious to the situation. She knew how he felt about Kagome forgetting about him, yet it didn't stop her. He had also thought she loved Inuyasha like a son, so it surprised him that she was trying to include him in her daughter's life.

Frankly with his emotions so raw for the moment, he would rather be far from Kagome.

Yet, he missed her. Until now, he had never spent so much time alone or so much time in his house. She had often wanted to come over, but he always had insisted on coming to her apartment. Perhaps it was because it felt more like a home than his house ever would.

He could feel Miyu's eyes on him and it made him even more uncomfortable. He was used to Kagome's closeness and being able to hold her, tease her, even simply talk to her. It was not something he could do now, hence why he was not ready to face her. All of his emotions were building up inside of him with no way out.

The distance between his house and the hospital seemed longer than usual and he assumed it was the drag on his feelings of anxiety. But, eventually the building came into sight and his eyes narrowed a bit. Once he was done parking the car, he settled himself in his seat while Sota and Miyu were getting ready to get out.

It was when Mrs. Higurashi grabbed the handle that she noticed the lack of motions coming from Sesshomaru. "You're staying here?" she inquired, a bit surprise.

"She do-." He stopped himself, as the words had escaped him before he had been able to cease them. "You do not require my help."

Miyu knew very well what he had wanted to say, but she nodded her head nonetheless. She took her time exiting the car, before she and Sota made their way to Kagome's room.

Sesshomaru watched them go, his heart throbbing. He could hear her laugh ringing through his mind which caused him to glance away. Soon enough, she would be in his car and he wouldn't be able to know her. He would have to act cold, and inconsiderate like he used to do with her.

He wouldn't go up in her apartment, they wouldn't share a laugh, and there would be no close moments.

Once again, he was alone.

Meanwhile, Sota and Miyu were reaching Kagome's room. The door was open, and in the room, was an impatient Kagome waiting for them. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing regular clothes her mother had brought for her, playing with her hands and tapping her foot.

"Finally," she said with a smile on her face before getting up and hugging her mother.

As Miyu wrapped her arms around her daughter she noticed a new accessory in her hair. Kagome never wore bandanas before, which surprised her a bit. But then she remembered. When they had taken the bandages off her head, it had been revealed that Kagome was missing a few patches of hair due to the accident, and the operation on her head.

Once Kagome pulled away, her mother made sure to say anything about it; hoping to not make Kagome feel more self conscious about it than she already did. Kagome was all smiles when she hugged her little brother, before jumping back on her feet.

"Ready to go?" she asked, wanting nothing more than to leave the hospital.

There was nothing she hated more than being stuck inside of a hospital, especially since at the moment it wasn't attached to good feelings or memories. Once she would be able to put the whole incident behind her she'd feel better.

Miyu wrapped her arm around her shoulder, before they all headed out with Mrs. Higurashi casting a lingering glance in direction of her daughter. She knew her daughter would ask why Sesshomaru was the one to give them a ride, and although someone more involved could have done it, it was the only way Miyu could think of to keep a little contact between the two.

She had heard her daughter talk about Sesshomaru and the enthusiasm in her voice let her know he was important to her, more than Inuyasha had ever been. Miyu still liked Inuyasha, but she wished for her daughter's happiness. One day suddenly, Kagome had ceased talking about Inuyasha; letting Miyu concluded that something wasn't right.

But with Sesshomaru, there had never been any tears.

As Kagome allowed her mother to guide her to the car, she began to grow confused. Miyu was guiding her towards a car she didn't recognize, causing her to abruptly come to a halt. "Ma? Are you sure this is the right car?"

"Of course it is, Kagome," said Miyu, smiling at her daughter.

Then suddenly, she heard the driver door open and at first the shining color of silver tricked her to believe it was Inuyasha, but quickly enough she realized it wasn't him. It took her a few seconds to replace him, but then she remembered him from the hospital and how everyone had been surprised that she didn't recall who he was right away.

It wasn't really her fault though; how often did she see Sesshomaru?

Once she pulled herself away from her thoughts, she found herself wondering why he was the one picking them up. Inuyasha could have done it just as easily. For a second her eyes lingered on his face, and even though she expected him to glance away, he never did.

"Sesshomaru right?" she said, as he opened the door for her.

His eyes hardened a bit but he nodded his head, unable to utter a word. Before Kagome could slide in the back seat, Miyu cut in. "Kagome, do you mind riding in the front? I feel uneasy being in the front if I'm not driving."

Kagome frowned, a bit confused before shrugging her shoulders. "Sure."

Sesshomaru felt his blood become ice in his veins as the execution of any movements appeared to be impossible. Kagome sitting at the front? Beside him?

He had already seen the intentions behind Miyu's actions, but this would be torture. To be so close to her, yet so far.

His grip on the door tightened, and if he had possessed more strength he would have probably dented it. He gently closed the door behind Miyu and Sota, before opening the door for her.

Kagome, who had been on her way to open it, seemed a bit surprised, perhaps because she had not expected him to be a gentleman. She thanked him with a nod before sliding in. Since her eyes were not on him, he gave himself permission to stare at her a bit.

It was while he was pondering why she was wearing a bandana that he saw it. From under the corner of the blue fabric, he saw her scalp. He didn't know about this new Kagome, but the old one would be self conscious about it. And just like now, she wouldn't show her discomfort to the world, but inside, she would feel it.

Once he shut the door behind her, he hurried to his side of the car. This time around, he hoped the trip to return would be shorter than the trip to come because if not, he would explode.

Silence fell the car as he started it then slowly began making his way out of the hospital's parking lot. Sesshomaru hoped it would remain as quiet, as he didn't even know how to begin a conversation with her, but Kagome had something else in mind.

She didn't dislike Sesshomaru, but he had never treated Inuyasha very well, and he had always been rather cold to her because of her relationship with Inuyasha. To be honest, she was blown away to know he had come to pick her up, and that he had been in the hospital.

The only thing she could think of was that the relationship between the two brothers had improved during the last year. The thought actually made Kagome feel happy since for years Inuyasha had yearned for a real bond with his older brother.

"So you and Inuyasha are getting along now?"

The question almost caused Sesshomaru to press on the break because of the shock it gave him. As if he would ever get along with that filthy bastard. What in the world could have possibly given her that idea?

Unsure of how to response, he tested the waters. "Why?"

Kagome shrugged her shoulders. "Why else would he have asked you to pick me up?" And then, before he could answer, she added another question. "Was he working today?"

Truth was, everyone had agreed Miyu would be the one to help Kagome settle back in during the first few days, but since Kagome was not aware of that, or of the fact that Miyu had been staying at Sesshomaru's she couldn't know that it was why Sesshomaru had ended up being the taxi.

The simply mention of Inuyasha was enough to send him into a rage, especially while taking in consideration the latest events. He was never one to lie for her, but currently, his rage took care of that for him.

"Something like that."

Kagome's eyes remained on him a bit longer, but when he never turned to look at her, she gazed away. He didn't seem to be very comfortable in her presence, but then again, neither was she. They were pretty much strangers, so there was no reason for them to be acting like friends anyway.

The rest of the ride happened in silence, much to Sesshomaru's dismay. He didn't wish to be talked to but the complete quietness was a nuisance. She was so close he could taste her, yet he had to keep as much distance as he could. He wanted nothing more than to comfort her, and make her laugh about her bandana so she couldn't feel self-conscious anymore.

Yet he couldn't do any of it, and it killed him.

Although his attention was supposed to be focused on his driving, his eyes drifted in her direction. She was resting her chin in her palm, while peering out the window, her features so sad. Ever since that day, where she had kicked him out her apartment after making him promise that they would have dinner together, he hadn't seen her smile.

Even now, she looked depressed.

His hand was twitching to reach out for her so he could bring her comfort, but he held himself back.

Sesshomaru almost sighed in relief when her apartment came in view. For the first time in a long time, he wouldn't be going up the stairs and invading her privacy. He observed as she unbuckled her seatbelt carefully but then, she surprised him by looking his way.

"Thank you," she said; her voice soft.

Then, after he nodded, she offered a tiny smile before leaving his car. She patiently waited by the car as her brother and mother did the same, while he did his best to not gaze her way. Sesshomaru looked straight ahead as their footsteps echoed, and he remained in such position until he could no longer hear them.

Then it happened.

He pressed his forehead against the wheel, closing his burning eyes. Chaos was surging within him, while he was being surrounded by her divine scent.

And then, it became harder to breath and he knew he wasn't whole.

-P-

Balsamine: Impatience

Thank you Daniella for beta-reading!

Pink Carnation

Chapter 5: Balsamine

The rain was falling hard against the window, imitating the sound of rocks hitting the glass. Kagome was leaning against the edge of the window, her palms firmly pressed against the wood, peering out into the darkness of the night. She was on her tippy toes as she pressed her face forward, feeling the coolness of the window.

She heard him coming, and knowing it meant hot chocolate was on its way, she began to feel excited. After a long last glance outside, she rushed to the couch where she covered herself with a yellow blanket. Tonight was movie night, and some stupid storm wasn't going to ruin it.

Every Saturday night when he didn't have work they would watch a movie while she would stuff herself with the most sugar high foods there was. Usually, it resorted in him sleeping over or rather them falling asleep on the couch and the next day they would go out for breakfast.

"If you don't hurry, I'll pick a romance movie."

"You wouldn't dare."

She knitted her eyebrows together, as the voice sounded distorted and strange. Confused, she rose to her fee, before rushing to the kitchen. The room was completely engulfed in blackness, making it rather difficult for her to see. She stretched her hand in front of her, trying to grasp him but all she felt was the void.

He was gone.

A gasp escaped her as she sat up in her bed, chills going down her spine. Kagome blinked a few times, her heart throbbing in her chest as she rapidly gazed around trying to recognize where she was. The environment was very unfamiliar to her since she could not remember living in this condo. Nonetheless, she slowly felt at ease as her fingers glided across the silky sheets.

She was home, in her bed.

Home. It was a bittersweet word when your hands had created such a home, yet you could lose yourself in it. She had spent the previous day trying to locate everything and there were still many things she failed to find. The desire to get started from scratch by re-doing the apartment had crossed her mind more than once but in the end she had decided against it.

Changing everything was like giving up on her memory.

Perhaps one day she might have no other choice but for now, it was what she wanted. Kagome kicked the blankets off her body with her feet before sighing heavily. Ever since the accident, it was harder each day to wake up. However, today was particularly difficult since she had experienced such a strange dream.

It was the first dream she had since losing her memory. Maybe the reason why it left her hazy was because her brain was trying to connect pieces of memories with dreams? Did that even make sense?

Just as she was about to fall on her back, ready to groan in frustration, the scent of pancakes filled the room and it brightened her spirits. Her mother's pancakes.

When Kagome was younger, her mother would always make pancakes for her on particularly bad days. She hurried to put on her slippers before rushing out of the bedroom still wearing her pajamas.

"You still own those?"

Kagome stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Inuyasha's voice. She had called him the night before when she had first arrived at her apartment but he hadn't picked up. A smile adorned her face as she closed the distance between them wrapping her arms around his neck.

A small chuckle escaped Inuyasha before he turned into the embrace. Considering the fact that Kagome had never been a morning person, this was a nice change. She remained in his arms a bit longer, happiness still present on her face until she remembered what he said.

"Hey. Winnie the Pooh never goes out of date."

"You're going to wear that? The whole night?"

"As a matter of fact, I am. You should know that Winnie the Pooh never goes out of date. Afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me?"

"I can't promise anything."

"Kagome?"

Her head snapped in direction of Inuyasha as she broke out of her reverie. What in the world had just happened? For a second, it had felt as if she had been somewhere else. Everything had been so fuzzy and blurry.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy."

"Then sit down, stupid!" said Inuyasha; irritated that she hadn't voiced it earlier.

He grabbed her by the shoulders before guiding her to the closest chair and assisting her in sitting down. Kagome gave him a quick nod as a sign of thank you as he joined her at the table. Honestly she didn't know what happened, but she didn't exactly like the cold chills it had given her.

Kagome could feel both her mother and Inuyasha giving her concerned looks. "I just woke up too fast this morning and it caught up to me. I'm fine."

Miyu smiled, appearing to believe her as she brought her a plate of pancakes and put it in front of her. It had been more than dizziness, she could tell since Kagome's eyes had become empty. But, since Kagome didn't want to dwell upon it, she would not push the issue.

"I thought you had work today," said Kagome, as she took her first bite out of her breakfast.

Inuyasha shook his head. "They said you had to stay put for the first few days, so I took off work to come hang out here."

It wasn't completely true. He hadn't told Sesshomaru he wasn't coming in, but he was sure his brother would figure it out soon enough. The bastard! After the way he had treated him he didn't deserve a warning. Inuyasha could not come in whenever he pleased. Plus, Kagome was more important than work.

Though, since she was confined to inside the house he didn't know what they were going to do. He also couldn't forget the fact that her mother was present meaning they would most likely have to include her which would lead to them having no time alone.

He could not wait for the next couple of days to be over. Then, it would be only him and Kagome, just the way it was supposed to be.

-P-

Sometimes, he wondered if she was not worse than Kagome when it came to stubbornness. Once again, Sango hadn't understood that he didn't want to be bothered. It hadn't been enough that she been calling his office every day, and his home all night. No, now she had taken things to a new level.

She was standing in front of him, in the doorway. Why couldn't he have thought she would do so, and why had he opened the door so quickly? Closing the door in her face would be rude and though it seemed tempting, he did the polite thing by moving out of the way allowing her to walk in.

Sango had a proud smirk on her face as she headed for Sesshomaru's kitchen. She hadn't been in his house as often as Kagome, but she knew her way around. The only real reason she somewhat knew Sesshomaru was because they were both friends with Kagome and had learned to be around each other because of that.

She sat down at the table, ready to confront him.

Perhaps it could see almost a little obsessive, but she simply couldn't trust her friend whom she considered like a sister being in Inuyasha's care. Plus, she had always been rooting for Sesshomaru and Kagome to get together. This whole memory loss could be very damaging towards the goal.

No, she wasn't doing it out of a selfish need to see her friend being with someone. Sango knew Kagome and it made her aware that she felt something for Sesshomaru. Unfortunately, Kagome had always been a little slow to realize and react upon those kinds of things.

And now, well, she didn't even remember Sesshomaru, which was a major set back.

Granted, he wasn't always the most talkative and warm person, but that was with others. When it came to Kagome, he treated her differently. He gave her exactly what she needed from someone.

Now, she had spent the whole night thinking about their problem and finally she had come up with an answer. Of course, it would most likely provoke some kind of fight but she strongly believed that in the end, it would be worth it.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I am here?" she taunted.

"Because of Kagome," he casually replied as he joined her at the table.

She rolled her eyes. Obviously. Why else would she almost become his stalker? "I think you should win her back."

Her words left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. "She was never mine to begin with, nor was she ever going to be."

Right. She wasn't supposed to know about his feelings. "It was going to happen eventually."

When he didn't seem convinced by her words Sango found herself fighting the urge to play dirty. Why shouldn't she? Inuyasha was using Kagome's memory loss so perhaps she could do the same. After all, her statement could not be verified.

"I would know something about it."

He didn't want to ask. No, wait. He shouldn't ask. Whatever Sango and Kagome might have spoken of, it was a private conversation between the two of them. He was surprised that she talked about him. As his uncertainty grew, he began taping his fingers against the table, pondering on what was the right thing to do.

She knew he was hooked; all he needed was the extra push. Kagome hadn't technically said anything with words, but Sango had sensed it. It was the same right?

"Kagome and I are close friends, and she tells me a lot of things."

Sesshomaru put a halt to his fingers, as he made up his mind. "Even if such things were to be of any real interest to me, what would you have me do?" At this point, he couldn't have her. "She believes she is still dating the worthless bastard and she cannot be reminded of what she does not remember."

A bright smile appeared on Sango's face as he pointed out the obvious. "Exactly!"

When he arched an eyebrow she sighed. "We can't tell her how close you guys were, but it doesn't mean you can't be close to her anymore. What does she think your relationship with Inuyasha is like?"

She believes lies. "That we are on speaking terms."

"Good," said Sango, almost refraining herself from having an outburst of joy. "Then, I'll have a little talk with Inuyasha and he will go along."

The tone of voice she used nearly scared Sesshomaru to the point where he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what she would tell his half brother.

"Then, all you have to do is come by Kagome's sometimes. We can even organize friendly meetings at my house. Tell her we are friends and what not. Then, you can work on gaining her trust again and as things go along… who knows."

He wanted to tell her that the idea was stupid, that it would never work and that he was not interested. The problem was, he couldn't forget about Kagome and if he had been able to befriend her once he should be able to do it again. No the real problem was that he was scared.

When she had not recognized him it had felt like a rejection. If she flat out refused his friendship, he wasn't sure how he would take it. It made Sesshomaru sick to his stomach to realize how weak he was for her but it was not a side that could be held back. He loved her, he cared for her; she could not easily be forgotten.

"You know, this time her heart's not broken."

Even though it hadn't been voiced out, Sango knew it was the reason why Sesshomaru had never made any real move on Kagome. He was afraid she was still too vulnerable or that perhaps she didn't wish to love again. She believed it to be complete crap but if Sesshomaru trusted into that idea, at least this time around he couldn't hide behind it.

"All I'm saying is you don't have to be a ghost in her forgotten past. I'll deal with Inuyasha and you just ease yourself back into her life."

"What gave you the idea that I wanted to be back in her life?"

The smile on Sango's face faded as she rose to her feet. She turned her back on him and headed for the door as if she was going to leave without a word. However, Sesshomaru's impression was wrong.

"You love her. You won't leave her in his hands." She paused. "Just give it some thought, please."

Maybe it was too soon but she couldn't stop herself. Sango didn't know Sesshomaru very well, but she was aware that if she took too long he would simply lock himself up and he wouldn't show himself to others again. Plus, he wouldn't be the same person he had been with Kagome with anyone else.

So technically, she was doing it for his sake as well. Unfortunately for now, all she could do was hope her words had some sort of effect on him. The best was to leave him alone to think it through.

And then, she closed the door.

As soon as she did, Sesshomaru ran his fingers through his hair, sweat beads forming on the side of his head. Before the incident his life hadn't been perfect but at least he had always known she would be by his side. Now, if he wanted her, he had to fight again.

Just how much of himself was he supposed to sacrifice?

He had devoted every day of an entire year to her, only to be erased as if he meant nothing. Now, he was supposed to practically beg for a place by her side?

Was anyone worth such humiliation?

Yes, she was the light in his life. Before her, he had never felt this way before nor had he ever brought shame upon himself. But when it came to her, it didn't matter.

Yet, could it be that now he had reached his limit?

Would he be able to let her walk away, without voicing his plea? Could he watch her make the same mistake over again without uttering a word? Was he able to watch the only woman he had ever loved…love someone else?

He didn't know anything anymore.

-P-

Kagome was slowly going in and out of consciousness as she laid her head against Inuyasha's shoulder. Since they were lacking options when it came to activities they had settled on watching a movie. However, Kagome was having a hard time focusing and staying awake. But, apparently it was normal.

The doctors has told her that the first few days it might be difficult for her be on her feet for too long, or staying up late, and he encouraged daily naps. Of course, she was stubborn and she was doing her best to tough it through the movie. Plus Inuyasha had taken the day off for her, so she couldn't exactly leave him alone.

The more time passed, the more he felt her leaning in and he knew he was going to lose her soon. This hadn't been quite what he had in mind when he thought about spending time with her but since Miyu was still around, it was the best they could do. All he needed to do was to be patient for a couple more days.

Though he had to admit, it was nice to be able to hang out with her again.

It was in moments like this that he realized just how different Kagome and Kikyo were. With Kikyo, it had always been a struggle to get her to do something for him or to do something he enjoyed. Kagome on the other hand would do almost anything he asked just so he would be happy.

He much preferred that hence why he wouldn't have done anything to lose her.

Inuyasha still wished he could explain things so the others would start forgiving him, but he rather Kagome never remembered so they could be together without any trouble.

"If you're tired, go lay down."

His words snapped her out of the sleepiness as she raised her head. "No I'm okay."

"Keh."

Kagome sat up straight on the couch doing her best to keep her eyes wide open, keeping herself awake. It was at that moment that someone knocked on the door causing both Kagome and Inuyasha to glance at the door. Miyu however, was the first one to react.

"I'll get that," she said as she stopped preparing lunch and aimed for the door.

Both Inuyasha and Kagome waited as Miyu opened the door. Inuyasha couldn't explain why but he had this sudden fear that Sesshomaru was the one interrupting them. He had never been provided with the full answer as of what his brother's relationship had been with Kagome and he didn't like it.

Plus Sesshomaru hated everyone, so why care about Kagome? Not that it mattered at this point since he wouldn't have her in his life again, but nonetheless.

"Good afternoon Sango! Are you staying for lunch?"

The name uttered made Inuyasha breathe easier while Kagome smiled brightly. It seemed to recharge her energy a bit to see her best friend so she jumped on her feet and dashed for the door. As soon as Sango came in view Kagome hugged her as if she hadn't seen her friend in months.

Sango smiled as she returned the embrace, before taking notice of Kagome's clothes. "Oh my god! You still own those?"

Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she pulled away. "I am not getting into this conversation again."

"Again?"

"Yeah, Inuyasha told me the same thing this morning."

Sango did her best to keep a neutral expression as she tilted her head to the side, peering in the living room. As a matter of fact, there he was, sitting in Kagome's couch, not a worry in the world. She wanted nothing more than to tell him to leave but in Kagome's mind they were all friends.

"Hey Inuyasha."

She would get him back later.

He nodded at Sango in sign of greeting before focusing his attention on the movie once again. The glare she had given up was causing him to have an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn't right. He waited a few more seconds before glancing at the girls who were on the way to sit at the kitchen table, probably to gossip.

He was going to leave them alone and finish the movie by himself when he realized that he preferred being around Kagome since he didn't know what Sango might say. Right now it seemed everything was fair game, and he wouldn't be taken advantage of.

He quickly grabbed the remote before shutting off the TV and heading in direction of the two women. Once he reached Kagome's side, he trailed his fingers on her shoulder before pressing a kiss on top of her head. He could feel the daggers Sango was sending him with her eyes, but he ignored her as he sat down.

"As I was saying," said Sango, obviously aggravated by Inuyasha's interruption, "we should go to the restaurant, all of us together, next Friday. It would be a nice chance to catch up with everyone."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed.

"Sure, that would be fun."

Kagome knew nobody had changed; yet she felt slightly nervous. She would have to catch up on everyone's life from the last year and it was making her feel bad. It would be fun though to be with all her friends again.

"Who's all of us?" asked Inuyasha suspicious.

Sango held back a smile since she knew his reaction was going to be priceless. "Us three plus Miroku and Sesshomaru."

"Sesshomaru?"

Kagome, who hadn't expected such a reaction, was startled by the tone Inuyasha had used.

"Yes, Sesshomaru," said Sango smiling at him. "You two have been talking more lately so I thought why not."

"Oh that's true. Sesshomaru told me you guys were getting along better lately."

He had to have heard wrong. "Sesshomaru told you that? When?"

Kagome frowned; was it her or him who had a memory problem? "When he picked me up from the hospital with my mom. You couldn't make it, so you asked him… remember?"

The whole situation was going much better than Sango had hoped for, except for the fact that it was hard to keep herself from laughing. Inuyasha looked about ready to blow up in anger and it was giving her a very satisfying feeling. Now that he had been cornered, no matter what he said, he wouldn't fully be able to get out of the situation.

"Yeah. Of course. I asked him," he mumbled.

The bastard. Was he doing this to get back at him? Why would he lie? Why would she lie? Could it be that Sesshomaru was not only friends with Kagome, but with Sango and Miroku as well? What was it with that fucking bastard? He was not satisfied enough with his own life that he had to steal his in every way? His friends, his girlfriend.

He didn't care what kind of plan they were scheming, he wouldn't hand Kagome over. Inuyasha was aware that they were trying to keep him out of her life, but even if he had to put up with Sesshomaru, he would stay with her.

"Then I guess we're all going then," said Inuyasha, his tone betraying him a bit.

"Great," added Sango, putting her best smile on.

Now the difficult part was to convince Sesshomaru. She perhaps should have talked to him prior to now, but the idea had only formed itself when she had been on her way to Kagome's apartment. The important thing was, Inuyasha was taken care of, and Sesshomaru had an excuse to be in her life again.

The sudden silence was interrupted by Sango's cell phone. She picked it up, only to see her boss' caller ID. "I have to go," she said, as she rose to her feet.

Kagome joined her as she walked her friend to the door while Inuyasha remained sitting down. Both friends hugged and Sango felt bad about leaving her alone with the idiot.

"I promise, we'll do a girl night this week," said Sango as she pulled away. "Only if you promise not to wear that though," she teased.

Kagome shook her head. "These pajamas are fine; I don't know why everyone's picking on them."

Even thought she was pretending to be offended, Kagome did find herself pondering why she had kept them and why she had started wearing them again. Those pajamas had been in her closet for years and she had kept them perhaps because of their sentimental value, but she never thought she'd wear them again.

She hadn't really thought about it when she had slipped it on. Kagome had simply picked the first thing in the pile. Perhaps she had started to feel nostalgic a while back and she had fallen into the habit of wearing it again.

"See you later," said Sango, breaking her out of her dreamland, as she exited the apartment.

Kagome stood in front of the door feeling a bit frustrated. She hated trying to remember without being successful. Not only that but now she was going to a friendly supper with someone she didn't even remember befriending. It was actually a bit weird since Sesshomaru hadn't seemed very friendly when he had picked her up.

Could it be that she was the only one not familiar with him?

"Inuyasha?" she asked, her voice almost a whisper.

He turned his head in her direction noticing her back was still facing him. He easily recognized the tone in her voice so he stood up, setting out in her direction. "What's up?" he asked as he arrived by her side.

"Am I friends with Sesshomaru?"

The whole situation had been annoying, but now it appeared that it could be turned around and used to his advantage. Sango had forgotten to be precise, and now it was his job to put the pieces together however he wished.

He shrugged his shoulders, doing his best to look as if he didn't care. "Not really. I mean ya all talk and stuff. But, you ain't really friends."

She pinched her lips together, before nodding. It was as she had figured. It wasn't like she thought he was a bad person or anything, but from the glimpse she had gotten of him, they wouldn't along very well. He was too cold, stoic, and silent for her taste and she figured someone as enthusiastic as her would do nothing but get on his nerves.

"What about you guys? He only told me you were on speaking terms."

Inuyasha still didn't like the fact that she had been alone with the bastard but he held his tongue. "We mostly did it because of the old man." Though Sango had mentioned them hanging out… Damn it. "But he ain't so bad."

"I'm glad you to managed to get along," she said offering her best smile.

Kagome ran her fingers through her hair before a yawn escaped her. "Do you mind if I go lay down?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I'll just finish the movie. Go lay down."

"Thanks," she said before pressing a kiss against his cheek.

Inuyasha watched her walk away, his heart feeling heavy. Why was he feeling so bad? He hadn't done anything wrong! It was all Sango's fault. Every time he saw her, it brought back the past and it always made him so nervous. She needed to learn how to butt out.

As Inuyasha turned around, ready to head back in the living room, he noticed Miyu. The whole time she had been standing in the kitchen, definitely in hearing reach. Suddenly, his blood froze in his veins. He had never quite been told what Miyu knew, since the others stopped talking to him. However, when she didn't cease her phone calls, he assumed they never told her anything.

In spite of that, with the way she was glancing at him, he wasn't sure it was all true.

She had a smile on her face, as if nothing was wrong, but he could sense it. He could see in her eyes that she was aware of the lies he was telling. But, he wasn't the only one lying… so why should he be the only one feeling bad?

When she never gazed away, he nodded at her, his uneasiness clearly showing on his face, before leaving the kitchen.

Now, he really couldn't wait to be alone with Kagome. All the guilt these people made him feel was becoming unbearable.

-P-

"Sesshomaru?'

No answer.

"Sesshomaru?"

Slowly, his eyes cracked open as he glanced upon the lively girl lying beside him. She had a huge smile on her face as a slight blush appeared across her cheeks. She proceeded to hide her face with the sheets, unable to hold her giggle in any longer.

He almost rolled his eyes.

"Are you sleeping?"

He opened his eyes wide. "Yes."

"Liar," she said before poking her head out. "I can't sleep," she said before turning on her back.

"As per usual when you drink two coffees before going to bed," he noted with a neutral voice.

Slowly, he sat up in the bed pressing his back against the headboard. He knew it wasn't because of the coffee that she couldn't sleep. Ever since then she didn't like the darkness. He had to admit, it scared him as well but he wouldn't voice it out. Instead, he would play along; pretend to believe she had too much energy to find rest.

"It's not my fault. You tempted me with all that whipped cream!"

She followed his example, by sitting up in the bed. Rest wasn't coming to her tonight and although she felt a bit bad for waking him up, she couldn't stand being awake alone. The nights where he wasn't there were already hard enough as it were. When he was there, she liked taking advantage of it.

"Sesshomaru?"

"Hn."

"Do you find me bothersome?"

Her question took him by surprise. His amber orbs became larger as he inclined his head a bit, peering her way. "Bothersome?"

She nodded. "I feel so needy."

Oh but he wanted her to be needy. Nobody had ever required his help and comfort in the past and he wanted to provide her with that. Bothersome? No. Lovely, and emotional? Perhaps. But he wouldn't have her any differently.

He knew what this was about, and it only made his rage towards the bastard grow stronger.

Sesshomaru turned his body, and gently grabbed her chin with his fingers. He then turned her head so she was facing him, their eyes meeting. "What would be bothersome would be to not have you in my life."

Kagome glued her lips together, feeling the tears coming to her eyes. Never would she have believed Sesshomaru to be like this or even be able to feel emotions. If it hadn't been for that night, she wouldn't have known how kind hearted he was. She knew her life wouldn't be the same without him in it.

She pressed her forehead against his, before slowly nodding. "What are you doing losing your time on me?" she asked, half laughing. "You should let one of those million girls you have chasing you actually catch you."

His heart constricted at her words. The one he wanted to be caught by already had him in the palm of her hand but she wasn't aware of it. "Perhaps," he said, unable to find any other way to answer her.

Kagome smiled, as he released her face. Sesshomaru laid back down on his back, before stretching on his arm, gesturing for her to come closer. Her grin grew, as she hurried to lay her head on his chest, and wrap an arm around him. His hand protectively rested on her shoulder as he gently rubbed it.

As he felt her so close, her body heat transferring to his own body and he found himself wondering if she knew what she was doing to him. It was all innocent he was aware of that, but sometimes, it was hard to keep himself in check. He was a man after all, and he was deeply in love with that woman.

She was also so close, yet he could never taste her.

Despite the fact that sometimes it made the ache worse, he was grateful for the closeness. She never hesitated in touching him or seeking his warmth, which he appreciated. Never once had it seemed to cross her mind that not all friends did that. After all, how many times did she sleep over, and how many times did he share her bed?

But they needed each other.

He felt her snuggle unto his side and he squeezed her against him a bit tighter. She was his angel.

His fallen angel and he would take care of her until either she would perhaps return his feelings, or until she retrieved her wings.

And that was the thought that scared him the most. What if one day, he had to release her? What if she fell in love again? Then, she would be ripped away from him. Never would she smile that way for him if her heart was taken.

But he preferred having her in his life with the risk of losing her, than not having her by his side at all.

His eyes snapped open as sweat beads dripped down his back. He didn't have to move to know he was drenched in sweat. The dream had been so vivid, and he knew it was because it was nearly exact to a memory he had with her. He hurried to sit in the bed before running his fingers through his wet hair.

Why did he have to be reminded of such thing now?

Wasn't he confused enough as it was?

Though it was true; in the past he had prepared himself in the eventuality that he would lose her. Nevertheless, he never though he would lose her to Inuyasha. He rather that a complete stranger took good care of her, in the place of that foolish bastard who would break her heart again.

And it was then that he realized he couldn't walk away from her. She might not remember him, but he remembered promising that he would always take care of her. It was his duty to make sure nothing happened to her until she was ready to fly on her own.

She still wasn't ready.

If he had to suffer to see her truly happy, then so be it.

He might not try to win her heart, since he was not worthy of it, but he would put himself through hell to retrieve her from Inuyasha' arms. She would be awkward in front of him and he wouldn't be allowed to comfort her or touch her, but she would be near.

For now it would be enough, it would ease the pain he had been feeling.

Kagome was the last person he had in his life. He barely talked to his father except when it came to business and his mother had passed away back when he was younger. He had allowed her to break the walls he had built, he couldn't back away now.

His heart was still pulsing like a drum as he reached out for his cell phone. He remembered the message Sango had left on his answering machine. Sesshomaru had planned on not responding, but now, his mind was made up.

Quickly, he called his secretary telling her to relay the message to Sango. He didn't feel like talking to her himself because she would ask a million questions and he wasn't one for talking. Except when it came to Kagome.

Although she was very talkative, and rarely gave anyone a chance to speak.

Once it was done, he put his cell phone away before rising to his feet. He could feel the stickiness covering his body and he knew he needed a shower. As he put his slippers on, he found himself gazing at his desk. Proudly on it was a picture of the two of them.

It had been taken a while back while they had been at a baseball game. Kagome was wearing a hat, which was way too big for her, causing it to nearly cover her eyes while she wrapped her arms around his neck. Of course, he was not smiling, but his face was pressed against her.

He could still remember how soft her cheek felt.

Sesshomaru felt like laughing at himself; was he really that obsessed with her?

His heart feeling heavy, he reached out for the picture and picked it up. He then proceeded to open the drawer and he put it inside, hiding it from his view. In the likelihood that Kagome would never recover her memory, he had to prepare himself to forget the past.

If she couldn't remember, he had to erase what they had and build a new future. Even though there was still hope, he refused to rely on it. Sesshomaru had unfortunately learned in the past that hoping didn't get you anywhere in life.

With a kick of his knee, he slid the drawer closed before turning his back to it. His house was still filled with memories of her, but it was a start. Maybe he needed to do to his place what had been done to her apartment; remove everything.

After all, except for when she was there, he barely spent any time at all in his house. She had made it theirs, but now, he was alone again.

Realizing his thoughts, he shook his head. He refused to think about such things again. He took a deep breath before reminding himself that he would take care of her again. He would put up with the sight of her and Inuyasha together, watching her from afar.

It was the only safe way to be around her.

Apparently, she was worth wounding his pride.

Oh, whom was he kidding? When it came to her, he had no pride, no shame. He would do anything to see her smile again.

-P-