This is the first Inu-Yasha fic I have written  that does not take place in the Golden Age of Pirates; rather, this is a story that takes place in the ‘90’s, in a large city similar to New York or Chicago, if that helps.  Inu-Yasha and several other characters belong to a secret society called the Order, dedicated to keeping the city safe from evil demons.

In this story, the battle with Naraku happened in the past, and it was during that battle when the Shikon jewel was shattered.  The  Order is now trying to gather all the shards while keeping them from the hands of demons.

All right, I think that’s enough background information.  Let’s begin.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inu-Yasha, seeing as he is the property of Rumiko Takahashi.

Guilty Hero

Chapter 1: Time Isn’t Healing This…

Anyone looking out at the park that brisk autumn night would have seen quite the dreadful sight.  A spider the size of a three story building is rarely considering pleasing, but when that spider is made of pure muscle and has made a web of its body across the surrounding buildings, it is enough to make any normal person faint.  Good thing the one combating this hideous monster was no normal human.

“Inu-Yasha…” the spider rasped, the rusty, malicious voice coming from its humanoid head near the center of the web of flesh.  “I never thought that I would get the chance to fight such a mighty half-demon.”

“Feh.  Then at least one wish has come true before you die,” snapped a rough, slightly slurred voice in reply.  It came from the wiry human figure crouched in a fighting position directly underneath the spider, his dull gold eyes staring up at his target.  With little warning, he sprang straight up, his claws bared to strike at the soft underbelly of the monster.

“Hah!  Fool!”  For one so enormous, the spider moved even faster than Inu-Yasha, drawing all its legs inward and turning its entire body into a ball of flesh and hair that imprisoned Inu-Yasha, pinning his limbs with an agonizing force.

“The chance to fight that mighty half-demon is long gone, boy…” the spider continued, a new head emerging in front of Inu-Yasha inside the trap.  “I shall have to make do with the pathetic drunkard I have before me!”

Inu-Yasha groaned in pain and the pressure on his limbs increased, and soon his right arm gave way with a loud crack!.

The spider chuckled with joy upon hearing the sound and opened his mouth wide, giving Inu-Yasha a clear view of his fangs, dripping with venom.  “But I wonder…  Does the slayer of the mighty Naraku even have the strength to withstand my poison?”

Roaring with pain as the fangs embedded themselves in his neck, Inu-Yasha struggled to free his left arm—his only weapon left.

“Hah ha!” the spider laughed, responding to Inu-Yasha’s efforts by nearly crushing the half-demon completely.  “Can you not even squish a bug?  What has happened to that undefeatable power that broke the mightiest demon of all?”  Listening eagerly to Inu-Yasha’s pained growls as he struggled against the legs enveloping him, the spider continued to taunt, clearly enjoying the game.  “I heard that you were in quite the rage during that fateful battle…  Over a woman, if I’m not mistaken.  A human, turned to join the demon forces.  How brave of her…”

The poison seeping quickly through his veins and his lungs about to burst, Inu-Yasha groaned weakly.

Pleased to see that his prey was not going to last much longer, the spider continued its tale, goading the half-demon in his last moments.  “The woman’s name was…  Kikyo, correct?  Yes, your lover, as was common knowledge amongst us demons.  Needless to say, we all were quite surprised to discover her lifeless body, mangled by YOUR claws—“

“Shut UP!!!” Inu-Yasha bellowed, and tore his left arm free with a sudden surge of strength fueled by fury.  Swiftly, before the spider could react to his burst of power, his claws went right between the spider’s eyes, going straight through the head and killing it instantly.

Silence flooded his senses as the pressure on his chest was relieved when the enormous web dissolved, fading away to nothing.  Inu-Yasha dropped to the ground, something clenched in his fist.  For several minutes he lay still on the cool grass, panting heavily as his own blood dripped steadily from the two punctures on his neck, staining his white hair red.  He was unable to move from the paralyzing venom, but he knew his demon blood would eventually neutralize it.

His ears twitched as he heard two cars pull into the park, and his struggled to open his eyes.  Praying that it was who he was expecting and not some unsuspecting passerby, he tried to focus his blurry vision on the approaching figures.

“Inu-Yasha,” one of them said, and the demon recognized the voice of his friend Miroku.  “Are you conscious?”

He growled slightly, since his tongue was refusing to work.  Slowly, he shook his left fist, trying to get their attention on it.

“Ah,” said the other figure in understanding.  “The bug had a jewel shard, did it?  No wonder it was so powerful.  Our suspicions were correct.”  Flipping her brown ponytail over her shoulder, she began to pry Inu-Yasha’s fist open, her fingers slipping on the blood that coated it.  “But still, Inu-Yasha, even if it had a jewel shard, this should have been much easier than what it was.”

“Now Sango…” Miroku chastised gently as Inu-Yasha growled again.  “There’s no need to bring that up.  It’s over now, that’s what’s important.”

“Hmph.  Well, we did obtain another shard.  I suppose the only thing that turned out poorly was Inu-Yasha getting hurt worse than usual.”

“Well, he’s not as good of a fighter as he used to be.  Some injuries are bound to happen.”

This time, Inu-Yasha was able to manage a snarl.  He dearly wished he could move so he could deal out the pummeling that Sango and Miroku so greatly deserved for talking about him like that.  Why did it seem as though everyone wanted to note of how poor his fighting skills were tonight?

The two looked down at him, completely unfazed by his furious expression.  “Do you need to see Kaede for your wounds?  It looks like you’ve been poisoned.”  Miroku touched the holes in his neck.

Inu-Yasha uttered a low growl and shook his head as much as he could.  The last thing he wanted was to be pinched, poked, prodded, and berated by Old Lady Kaede, who, though a miracle-worker when it came to nursing wounded demons, never failed to expose all of your faults and shame you on them as she treated you.  No, what he would rather have was a smoke, a stiff drink, and a week-long nap—none of which he would get in Kaede’s hospital.

Sighing, Miroku put his arm underneath Inu-Yasha’s head and began to lift the demon over his shoulders.  “I’ll take you home, then.  Sango, if you would—“

“I’ll take the shard back to HQ and meet you at the lab when you’re finished.”  It was a routine they had gone through many times.

With that clear, Sango left the park while Miroku dragged Inu-Yasha to his car and carefully laid him in the backseat.  “Try and keep as still as possible; you’ll help the venom spread faster if you  move about too much.”

Inu-Yasha gave him a withering glare as he closed the door.  What else could he do but keep still if he could hardly move at all?

The drive to his apartment was quiet and uneventful, although he could still feel blood oozing from his neck, which was burning painfully.  However, he was slowly gaining control of his limbs, and even his eyesight wasn’t near as blurry as before.  When they reached his apartment building and Miroku helped him out of the car, he could tell Miroku was relieved to see him moving more on his own—carrying the dog demon up six flights of stairs was not a task the man looked forward to, due to many bad experiences.

It took a few minutes, but they reached Inu-Yasha’s apartment without incident.  As he helped the demon sit down on the stained couch, Miroku glanced around in disgust at the state of the apartment.  Crushed cigarette cartons and overflowing ashtrays crowded the tables, while the counter in the kitchen was cluttered with dirty tumblers and three empty bottles.  On the kitchen sat a partial-full glass and a near-empty bottle of whiskey, a sign of what activity the demon had partaken in earlier. 

“Do you ever clean up around here?”

Inu-Yasha snorted, awkwardly opening a new carton and pulling a fresh cigarette out with only his left hand.   He’d been dying for a smoke since the end of the fight, but had refrained until now since he knew Miroku didn’t appreciate the smell of the smoke, particularly in his car.  However, with his patience stretched thin and exhaustion and pain settling in his bones, he refused to wait any longer.  He decided to see it as a small payback for the insults Miroku had dealt him back in the park.

“Feh…” he growled.  “What are you, my mother?”

“I should certainly hope not, seeing as how she’s dead,” Miroku called over his shoulder as he walked down the hall to the bathroom to snag the first aid kit.

Frowning at the comment, Inu-Yasha stuck the cigarette in his mouth and felt around in his pockets for a lighter, cursing when he pulled out a handful of plastic shards and bits of metal.  “Damn spider must’ve broken it…” he muttered, scattering the broken pieces on the side table.  “Miroku, you got a light?”

“Honestly…” the man said as he exited the bathroom.  “You know I don’t smoke.”  Despite the rebuke, he stepped into the kitchen and retrieved a new lighter from the junk drawer before re-entering the living room and tossing the lighter to Inu-Yasha.  “You shouldn’t either, you know,” he continued, jerking Inu-Yasha’s bloody shirt off and ignoring the startled yelp of pain.  “It repels the ladies, and you, my friend, are in desperate need of a woman’s touch.”

“Do we have to go through this every time…?” Inu-Yasha muttered, lighting his cigarette.  “It’s gettin’ old.”

“I’m just trying to pass on some good advice, is all,” Miroku replied innocently, wiping blood off the demon’s battered torso.  “A woman can do wonders to a man.  Why, if we find you the right girl, she could have you cleaned up, sober, and presentable to the public eye!  Wouldn’t that be something?”

“You’re lucky I don’t have the strength to punch you in the face right now, you bastard…” Inu-Yasha growled, sending a puff of smoke in Miroku’s direction.

“That’s precisely why I choose these moments to bring up such subjects.  But if you wish, we can talk about other things…”  He tossed the red-stained cloth aside and regarded the demon’s broken arm.  “Such as—“  In one quick motion, before the demon even noticed, he snapped the bones into the correct place with a loud crack that was punctured by Inu-Yasha’s groan of pain.  “—your performance this evening.”

“What about it?” Inu-Yasha muttered through clenched teeth, trying not to cry out again as Miroku quickly got his arm into a splint.

“It was sloppy.  Very sloppy.  You shouldn’t be getting wounded at all, but to allow yourself to be poisoned?  How did that happen?”

A sneer tugged at the demon’s lips while Miroku tied off the bandage.  “D’you think you could’ve done better?” he snapped.

Pausing in his work, Miroku glanced up into Inu-Yasha’s dull gold eyes.  “I do,” he replied honestly.  “And I think it is a sad day when a mere human with a gun can do a better job killing a monster than a half-demon.”  He picked up an alcohol swab and started cleaning the two puncture wounds on Inu-Yasha’s neck.  “Of course, when I’m sent to kill a demon, I don’t usually do it with a bottle of Jack Daniels in my bloodstream.”

That was the final straw.  Tired of being berated at every turn concerning this fight with the spider, Inu-Yasha grabbed Miroku’s collar and pulled him so close that he was afraid the demon’s cigarette was going to burn his cheek.  “I’d like to see YOU go through all the hell that I have and try to make it through the day without a little help.”

Scoffing, Miroku easily pried Inu-Yasha’s claws off his shirt, the demon being so weak, and went back to dressing the neck wounds.  “A little help?  That ‘little help’ has grown quite a bit over the years.  And concerning your job, it’s not so much of a ‘little help’, but rather a ‘big liability’.”

Wishing he could have a ‘little help’ to keep himself from tearing one of his only two friends to shreds, Inu-Yasha remained silent, fuming while Miroku worked.  Finally, just as Miroku taped the last bandage in place, Inu-Yasha mumbled, “You didn’t give me enough time to sober up before sending me to kill that bug…”

“The Order doesn’t work on your time, Inu-Yasha!” Miroku snapped in reply, his tone harsh.  “Our enemies do not wait to attack when it is most convenient for you to combat them!  The Order does not show sympathy towards its members’ personal mistakes—not even yours.  When your drinking impairs your fighting ability, we cannot let that behavior go unchecked.”

“I still killed that damn spider!” Inu-Yasha snarled back, his face red from barely controlled anger.  “And I got your precious little jewel shard as well!  What are you complaining about?!  I did the job I was told to do!”

“But because you were half-drunk, you got injured.  And because you’re injured, the Order has to wait until we can call upon your services again.  There are many jobs out there that can only be done by you, and it is as I said—our enemies do not wait.”  Standing, he carefully placed all the supplies in the first aid kit and went into the kitchen to throw the bloody swabs away.

When he returned to the living room, he stopped in front of Inu-Yasha, who was glaring down at his broken arm, strangely quiet.  “Your efforts don’t go unappreciated, you know,” he said, his tone much gentler.  “The Order is grateful that you’re furthering our search for the Shikon shards.  Your pay will be deposited into your account.”

Inu-Yasha didn’t even acknowledge his presence, so, sighing lightly, Miroku made for the door.  Pausing before he left, he said as a good-bye, “Take it easy for a couple of days; your wounds will heal much faster if you do.”

“Just leave…” Inu-Yasha said quietly, so Miroku slipped out without another word.

As he made his way down the stairs to his car, he shook his head in pity for the demon.  Seven years… he thought sadly.  It’s been that long since the fight with Naraku, and he’s still...  He thought back to what Inu-Yasha had said to him: “I’d like to see YOU go through all the hell that I have and try to make it through the day without a little help.” 

The demon had been through hell.  Shunned from the day he was born by both humans and demons, Inu-Yasha had grown up knowing only a cruel world that he had to make his own place in.  He hated and was hated by all he came in contact with.  Even when the Order, an organization created by humans and good-aligned demons to fight the growing demonic threat to the city, offered Inu-Yasha a place in its ranks, he still had sixteen years of hatred fueling his anger towards society.

It was a young woman by the name of Kikyo who convinced him to join the Order in the first place.  She was the first person who did not just see past his mixed blood, but rather ignored it entirely, focusing solely on him and his emotions.  It took many months, but eventually he was able, due to her unceasing efforts to show him all that he had missed in his childhood, to let go of all the hatred he had in his heart and try and do things for good.  Through that counseling, love had blossomed between the two companions, and, after three years of working together for the Order, Inu-Yasha proposed to Kikyo, and she accepted.

But as the months progressed, their relationship grew more and more strained.  Inu-Yasha was doing his best to show her his love, which had always had difficulty doing, but it was Kikyo who was growing more distant.  Confused by her rejection, Inu-Yasha was even more mortified to learn that, due to the Order’s secret intelligence, she was Naraku’s number two in the entire plan, playing the role of a double-agent.  But, strangely enough, due to Kikyo’s teachings, he continued to love her with all his heart, though frustrated with her allegiance.

During this time, the evil demons had been taking a stance in the city, with Naraku as their all-powerful leader.  Merely one month before Inu-Yasha and Kikyo were to be wed, the final epic battle broke out, the battle that was to determine the fate of the city for centuries to come.  As the enormous number of demons flooded the battlefield in the middle of the city, met by the much smaller force of Order members, it was none other than Inu-Yasha who had the prime opportunity to destroy the mighty Naraku, but Kikyo stood as the final obstacle.

She did her best to convince him to join the demon side and take control of the city, but he couldn’t comply.  When he refused, she shot him, then turned to join Naraku for the final attack.  With her powerful priestess powers combined with Naraku’s demonic power, they would be unstoppable, and the city would plunge into darkness under their rule.  Inu-Yasha knew this and, though it completely broke his heart, he was forced to kill his bride-to-be with his own claws.  Then, broken, he flew into a vicious rage at Narkau for poisoning Kikyo with thoughts of power and greatness, his grief giving him the strength to defeat the villain and save the city.

Miroku sighed, climbing into his car and bringing it to life.  After that day, Inu-Yasha had never been the same.  He was desensitized, uncaring.  He turned to drink to ease the ache of her betrayal and the guilt over her death, and he had yet to recover.

By now… Miroku though bitterly, buckling his seat belt and driving off, …it’s going to take a miracle to bring him back.

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I hope you enjoyed this first installment of ‘Guilty Hero’.  Please review with compliments and constructive criticism.

Thanks very much to those who reviewed!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inu-Yasha.

In this chapter we find out a little more about Inu-Yasha’s past, and in particular, his ‘dark day’…

Guilty Hero

Chapter 2: Broken Promises

It had been two days since his scuffle with the spider demon, but Inu-Yasha was still irritated.  He did not take kindly to being criticized, particularly when he had even obtained a Shikon shard for the Order.  He had done the job expected of him—what more did they want?  And, to increase his frustration, the wounds he had received were still just as painful as they had been two days ago. 

That morning, awoken by the sun shining directly into his eyes, Inu-Yasha groaned, meeting the day in a world of pain.  The punctures wounds had split open, he had jostled his broken arm during sleep, and his entire body was stiff and sore from the poison still flowing in his veins.  Adding to the unpleasantness, a headache pounded fiercely from his nightly over-indulgence of liquor.

“Damn it all…” he muttered, tugging the covers off.  Slowly, he forced his tight muscles to work as he sat up and swung his legs off the bed.   Sitting still for a moment, he kept his eyes shut as his head adjusted to the change.   Great; not only did he ache all over, but he was woozy, too, caused by the poison or the drink; he didn’t know which. 

After a few minutes, he carefully stood and stumbled blindly out of the room, remembering to open his eyes only when he ran into a wall and jostled his broken arm again.  Cursing under his breath, he made his way to the kitchen and flipped the light on, staggering back a couple of steps at the barrage of light on his eyes.   The light made his headache worsen tenfold, so he stayed huddled in the dark living room until the throbbing ceased and he could face the brightness.

He needed relief from the pain, if only for a while, so he had to make a choice.  He could start the day with a fresh brewed pot of coffee, perfect for dispelling the fog in his brain and easing the ache in his limbs with its warmth.  Or he could opt for a tumbler of whiskey as a chaser from the night before, giving fast relief to his headache and pulling a haze over all his senses, dulling all the pain and making his disposition too mellow to care.

The decision wasn’t a difficult one to make.  He was just about to reach for the quarter-full whiskey bottle on the table when the harsh clanging of the telephone assaulted his ears, making him cringe and grab the tabletop for support.  Glaring at the offending phone through heavily-lidded eyes, he shuffled into the living room and snatched the phone up.

“…This’d better be good…” he growled into the receiver, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Possibly,” came Sango’s voice from the other end.  “We have a new assignment for you, if your wounds have healed enough.”

The word ‘assignment’ cut through the fog, and he blinked slowly, straightening a bit.  “A new assignment?”  he repeated.  “Already?  The last one was only two days ago.”

“Yes.  But a situation has come up, and we believe that you are the best man for the job.  Will you accept it?”  Sango was sounding strangely aloof and distant.

“But…”  Inu-Yasha rubbed his face, trying to force his mind into action.  “So soon…”

“Look…”  Suddenly, Sango’s tone changed, growing much more familiar, though still quite serious.  “As your commanding officer, I shouldn’t be telling you this.  So I’m going to tell you as your friend:  you’re on thin ice with the Order right now.  They can’t continue to put you to work if you keep drinking on the job; it’s unsafe and foolish.”

Inu-Yasha flopped onto his couch, scowling in disgust.  The day was going from bad to worse.  “I’ve had enough lectures from the two of you to last me a lifetime…” he mumbled.

“Don’t you get it, you oaf?!” snapped Sango from the other end.  “I’m trying to save your butt, here!  Your job is on the line!  The Order is using this next assignment as your final test—if you don’t do an exemplary performance, you’re out!”

He was quiet for a moment.  “…Out?” he murmured in disbelief.

“Yes.  Out.  I know how much this job means to you, but even I can’t keep you on if the number one wants you gone.  That’s why it’s so important that you do well this time around.  If you can handle two assignments so close together, and perform them well enough, you prove to the Order that you still have power to help our cause.”

No longer near as groggy as he had been minutes ago, Inu-Yasha thought hard, idly tapping his claws on the side table.  “So…  I do well on this next assignment, an’ you all get off my back?”

“Exactly.  Show up sober, keep the fight short and the area as clean and undamaged as possible, and  you’re probably set for another few months without any harassment.”  That wasn’t the point of the mission, but Sango knew that it was all Inu-Yasha cared about, so she kept with it.  “Think you can handle it?”

At any other time, Inu-Yasha knew he could.  But right now, with a broken arm, two gaping holes in his neck, and a debilitating poison mixed with his blood, he wasn’t so sure.  However, with his job on the line, he knew he had no choice.  “’Course I can,” he snapped, as though angry at her for even questioning his abilities.  “What’s the assignment?”

He swore he heard a small sigh of relief from the other end.  “An informant has told us of several recent murders by the docks near Atlantic Ave.  All the victims are found as mere skeletons, with only their heads whole.  Judging from the teeth marks on the bones, we assume these people have been eaten, and by the same creature.  We’re fairly certain it’s only a minor demon that has gained a good deal of power, and fairly quickly.”

“Meaning a jewel shard might be involved,” Inu-Yasha interrupted with irritation dripping from every word.

“Right.  We’d like this taken care of as quickly as possible, all right?”

“Fine, fine.  I’ll see what I can do.”  With a final snarl, Inu-Yasha slammed the phone back in its cradle.  “Damn it all…” he muttered once again.  There went the hope of his morning whiskey.  Sighing heavily, he trudged back into the kitchen to put a pot of coffee on.

Back at the Order’s headquarters, Sango slowly hung up the phone, then turned to look guiltily at Miroku, who had been listening intently to her half of the conversation behind her chair.  “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” she asked quietly.  “I hate tricking him…  What is he going to do when he realizes that the ‘minor demon’ is actually a human with a jewel shard?  You know he can’t kill humans!  Not after what happened with Kikyo…  It’ll break him if he has to kill one!”

Miroku rubbed the back of his head, just as concerned as Sango at their deception.  “I know it’s wrong of us to ask him to do this…” he sighed.  “But he’s the only one I’d trust with this assignment.  These senseless murders must stop, but that doesn’t mean we must kill this human shard-bearer.  We simply need to retrieve the shard from him.  Inu-Yasha’s desperate vow never to kill humans will hopefully help him find a way to save this one.”

Leaning back in her chair, Sango studied Miroku carefully.  “Do you really trust him, though?  That lush could barely beat that low-level spider; can he really handle such a delicate operation?”

Affronted, Miroku chastised, “Sango, you are talking about the man who slayed Naraku.  If he destroyed the mightiest demon in the world, surely he can handle a mere human with a slight boost of power.”

Sango rolled her eyes.  “You sound like a blind admirer, unable to accept the fact that Inu-Yasha isn’t the same person he was seven years ago.”

Miroku shrugged.  “I just try to keep my faith in him, Sango.  This is his chance to prove himself…”

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Due to its shady  and questionable nature, the Order did its best to remain out from under the public eye.  It worked directly with the local police in the city where its headquarters was located, but also with the government, so all of its actions were legal and approved.  However, it was a secret society, and had to be relatively unknown to the public, so it requested its agents to work under the cover of darkness as much as possible.  The less people knew, the better everything would be.

It was this reason, which had been hammered into his head during his ten years of service to the Order, that Inu-Yasha waited until nightfall before stepping out of his apartment to perform his latest assignment.  Because he knew that his performance this time around would mean whether or not he had a job by daybreak, he had stayed completely sober all day, not wanting to jeopardize his chances of survival by messing himself up with drink.  However, lack of liquor in his system had left him in a foul mood, and he was quite eager for the task to be done with.

He took one last drag of his cigarette, casually glancing up and down the street as he did so.  Seeing that there wasn’t a soul around, he flicked his cigarette to the ground, stubbed it out with his dirty sneaker, and then leapt onto the roof of the apartment building, landing a bit off-balance due to his broken arm.  He preferred traveling by rooftop; not only was it more discreet, but it was far faster than trying to make it through the city streets by foot.  Nimbly leaping from roof to roof with only a soft thump with each landing, he reached his destination quickly, though not as fast he normally would have made it.  The poison in his blood was slowing him down quite a bit.

Atlantic Avenue led directly to the city docks; an area of town not visited by sightseers or everyday citizens.  It was a dingy place, reeking of fish and covered with the garbage of the dockworkers.  Crates were piled everywhere that needed to be shipped out, leaving many places for stowaways or criminals to hide.  Seeing all this, Inu-Yasha knew he would have to rely on his nose to scrounge up the weak demon his was searching for.

Keeping his senses alert, he sniffed deeply and tried not to gag as rotting fish filled his nostrils.  But one stench proved even more overpowering than decaying sea creatures—the scent of a fresh corpse.  Easily honing in on the smell, which led him to a sloppily sealed crate, he awkwardly tore the side off with his left hand and was greeted by the sight of a pile of human bones with a fully intact head rolling about the floor.

“Urgh…”   He couldn’t help but groan in disgust.  It was the one trait of full demons he had never envied—the taste of human flesh.  How a monster could actually devour someone in cold blood was beyond him. 

Shaking off his initial reaction, he sniffed at the gnawed bones, trying to capture the scent of the creature he was supposed to find.  However, much to his confusion, he could only decipher the scent of a human.  Or rather—he sniffed again, even more puzzled.  The scent of two humans was covering the bones.  One odor was the owner of the bones, but the other… 

Suddenly, Inu-Yasha’s eyes narrowed and he whirled around, unsheathing his claws and tearing open a nearby crate.  Bones spilled out of this one as well, and his nose confirmed his suspicions; once again, there were two scents.  One belonged to the bones, and the other was the same as the odd scent in the first crate.

He uncovered the skeletons of five more humans in different crates, and all gave him the same story.  With such evidence, he was forced to come to a conclusion that shook him to his core; these skeletons were the handiwork of a human.  

“Damn it!” he cursed, throwing his fist into the nearest crate.  Humans who obtained Shikon shards rarely were able to survive the sudden surge of power.  Once their bodies began to transform, there was no going back.  It would only be too kind of Inu-Yasha to end the man’s existence himself, rather than allowing him to torture himself to death with the jewel’s power.  He could already tell from the mangled bones that the human’s body had morphed; no normal man could strip the flesh so cleanly from the bones.  His only hope was that the transformation wasn’t so drastic that salvation wasn’t impossible.  However, that possibility was highly unlikely.

Slumping to the rocky ground, he took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.  Fury and hatred were welling up in his breast; fury and hatred directed at Sango and Miroku.  How dare they?  How dare they send him after a human?  They knew his solemn vow; after being forced to kill his own fiancé, he swore his claws would never be stained with human blood again.  And yet, Sango and Miroku had tossed him into an inescapable situation.  He must either break his own vow, or allow the cannibalistic murderer to roam free.

Inu-Yasha didn’t know if he could even do it.  Killing humans was a line that he refused to cross.  After killing Kikyo, his mind could barely handle the thought of killing another; the thought literally brought him to his knees.  He stared at the pile of bones and the bug-eyed head in the crate, sweat dripping down his nose as horrible images of that dark day flashed before his eyes.  He could practically feel her warm blood seeping over his claws as he tore into her exposed back.  It hurt them both; it was torturing…

He suddenly gasped, blinking as the images disappeared.  He couldn’t lose control now, not with his job, the only semblance of a life he still had, at stake.  Slowly standing, he reached a shaky hand into the back pocket of his jeans and tugged out a flask.  After swallowing a liberal mouthful, he savored the calming effect for a moment before returning it to his pocket and refocusing his attention on the crates. 

No longer studying the bones but the actual crates themselves, he soon discovered that all of the crates had been stored in the same warehouse, warehouse number 1514.  Realizing that it was more than likely the human was hiding out in the warehouse, devouring the workers, then dumping their bodies in crates, Inu-Yasha took off out of the stockyard, in search of warehouse 1514.

The closer he got to the warehouses, the more enraged he grew, for as he thought, he realized that Sango and Miroku had blatantly lied and tricked him.  Not only did he not like being played the fool, but to be tricked by his only two friends in the godforsaken world, by the only two people he trusted enough to share his darkest fears with…

An enraged snarl ripped from his lips as he sprang forward into a run.  The sooner his finished the job, the sooner Sango and Miroku could feel the pain of their betrayal.  His gait was slightly off-balance from his broken arm, but his anger pushed him onwards.  Even the draining weakness of the poison seemed to be cast aside as he followed his nose to the warehouse lot.

However, coming upon an enormous sea of warehouses, it took him several minutes to find 1514, despite his rage-fueled energy, and by the time he finally did see it, he was breathing heavily and trembling, both from anger and fatigue.  His golden eyes flicked about the room as he stepped onto the concrete floor; his nose told him there was no doubt the killer was here.

“Show yourself,” he growled, the claws of his left hand ready to strike as he peered into the deep black shadows cast be crates and equipment.

“Heh heh heh…”  The eerie chuckle came from the middle of the room.  “For once, a meal has come looking for me!  And a demon, no less!”  There was a rustling in the shadows, and then an absolutely enormous man emerged into the puddle of moonlight by the loading doors where Inu-Yasha stood, as tall and wide as the forklift that sat nearby.  Taller than Inu-Yasha by at least two feet, he towered over the demon, his corpulent belly and monstrous size posing an impressive figure.  However, despite the fact of how gaunt and pathetic he looked compared to this well-fed human, Inu-Yasha knew it would be an easy kill.

The man’s eyes glowed slightly as he stared down at Inu-Yasha.  “How scrawny you are!  Aren’t you a demon?  Why don’t you indulge in the tasty human flesh of those weaker than yourself?”

“Humans are repulsive,” Inu-Yasha snapped.  “But you in particular…”

The man laughed again, his gigantic belly bouncing  and his mouth wide open, giving Inu-Yasha a clear view of the vicious fangs that had replaced his human dentures.  Those appendages explained how cleanly the flesh had been torn off the corpses of the dead dockworkers.  With his gorged size and replaced teeth, Inu-Yasha could tell that the human’s transformation was beyond saving.  His last hope was crushed; his vow would have to be broken.

“I bet you’re wondering why I’m so different than those other ‘repulsive’ humans out there,” the man said conversationally, obviously playing with his prey before attacking.

“I already know!” Inu-Yasha interrupting, almost panicking.  He wanted to keep the human from spilling his life story;  knowing more about this man would make killing him all the harder.  “That jewel shard you picked up has turned you into a monster.  I’m going to do you and all the other people in the city a favor by putting you out of your misery.”  The threat had no strength behind it—he clearly did not want to take a life.

“What can a wounded demon such as yourself do to me?!” the man roared cockily.  “Not even bullets can pierce my skin!”

Inu-Yasha licked his lips, which had become very dry.  This was an easy kill, and he knew it.  However, he couldn’t keep himself from shaking as an image of his beloved Kikyo constantly flickered before his eyes as he readied his left hand, baring his viciously sharp claws.  The image of her was staring furiously at him, her dark eyes flashing as they bored into him, keeping his attention locked on her as demons and humans battled all around, the din dreadful and the air filled with smoke.

Slowly, his gaze slid to the gun she had clutched in her fingers, pointed directly at his chest without trepidation.  He looked at her enraged face once again, an expression of anguish written all over his own.  Wind from the surrounding battles whipped her long hair about, making her an even more impressive figure.  Inu-Yasha’s heart and resolve was failing him as he stared at his fiancé, pleading for her to stop.

“You FOOL!” she cried furiously.  “Narkau will lead the demons to the top of the world where they deserve to be!  Why do you resist?!  I have tried for so long to convince you to embrace your demon half, but you have chosen your place at the bottom of the hierarchy!”

“Kikyo, don’t listen to those lies Naraku feeds you!” he begged, taking a step closer to her.  “Please, come back to the Order!  We need you!  I need you!”

“Never!” she snarled back.  “Naraku has promised absolute power and more!  I will not turn that offer down!   How can you?!  Why won’t you join us?!”

“I won’t allow the humans of this city to be slaughtered, Kikyo!  There are good people in this godforsaken world!  You were the one who taught me that!  You were the one who showed me how to find true friends here!  I can’t walk away from that!”

“Then you seal your fate.  I cannot deny I taught you such foolishness, but I myself was blinded by those weak hopes and dreams.  Naraku has showed me the truth!  You have made your choice, Inu-Yasha, and I have made mine.”

“Please, Kikyo, no!  Please!” Inu-Yasha wailed.  “Don’t make me do this!”

“Die, as a traitor to your own kind!”  Kikyo’s bullet sounded abnormally loud to Inu-Yasha’s ears as the sounds of the battle surrounding him faded away, until the shot of the gun was the only noise to be heard.  He grunted in pain as blood exploded from his chest and the bullet dug into his flesh.  His vision began to blur from the hurt, but he kept his eyes locked on her as she turned, leaving him for dead and running to join in the rest of the battle.

He knew his orders, given by the number one of the Order, Kaede herself.  If Kikyo was to join with Naraku during the bloody battle, her holy powers combined with his demonic ones could level the city.  He had to stop her at all costs.  Tears streaming down his dirt-stained cheeks, he leapt forward at her open back, claws bared—

The bloodcurdling scream from the over-gorged human jolted Inu-Yasha back to his senses.  He realized that he had leapt at the man with his claws while reliving that awful day, running straight through his belly before the human even had a chance to react.  Grimacing as blood covered his arm and stomach acid burned his hand, he jerked his hand free of the flabby mass.  However, the human continued to writhe in agony, each skin-crawling scream tearing into Inu-Yasha’s chest like a knife.  Biting his lip, he stepped forward and thrust his claws through the man’s heart, and instantly the cries ceased.

Silence rang in Inu-Yasha’s ears as he stared at the bloody monster, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps.  Wondering why his vision was so blurry, he wiped his eyes and realized that tears had been obscuring his vision.  Able to see properly, he gazed down at the enormous body with the gaping holes in the stomach and chest; his handiwork.  Moaning suddenly as his stomach began to churn, he leaned heavily against the forklift and vomited on the concrete floor, heaving again and again until his stomach was empty.

Shaking and sweaty, barely in control of himself, he glanced hesitantly at the corpse.  He needed to retrieve the Shikon shard hidden about the man’s person before he could leave.  If he left it there, some other human could come upon it, or another demon could sniff it out.  Unwillingly, he sniffed about the body, having to pause once to heave up a mouthful of bile once again, before he caught the scent of the tiny shard inside the man’s stomach.  With a bit of difficulty, for his hand was trembling terribly, he pulled the shard from the flesh and stuck it in his shirt pocket.  Then, with what little strength he had left, he pulled himself out into the cool night air and sat at the water’s edge, scrubbing the blood off his arm and hand as best he could, wincing as the liquid touched his acid burns.

He groaned inwardly as he stared at his freshly cleaned claws; despite their clean outward appearance, the stench of blood would linger for days as a constant reminder of his dreadful deed.  With a shake of his head, he took a deep breath and slowly climbed to his feet and began the long walk back into the city.

He was feeling awfully strange as he trudged along.  Confused—his heart was in turmoil, but his mind was simply blank.  Even the fury and anger he harbored against Sango and Miroku was held back by the solid wall of nothingness that had been erected in his head.  He took no notice of his surroundings, and didn’t even realize where he was walking.  For what felt like hours he continued to walk, as far away from the warehouse as he could get.  Finally, he was feeling so weak that he doubted he could take another step; that is, until he noticed where he was.

Blinking as he awakened from his daze, he peered around himself, and saw that he was standing directly in front of the Cornerstone Tap.  The Cornerstone Tap was a dingy, ill-lit bar that was his favorite place to drink when he needed to escape his apartment for a while.  Seeing the tarnished sign on the front, Inu-Yasha was suddenly attacked with the desperate thirst for whiskey, so he mustered up enough strength to push the door open and stagger up to the bar, collapsing onto a stool.

Glancing up when Inu-Yasha practically fell into his establishment, the bartender sighed knowingly and set a shot glass on the bar, having it filled with whiskey by the time Inu-Yasha was settled onto the stool. 

Iro had known Inu-Yasha for a long time.  For two or three nights a week for the past several years he had been Inu-Yasha’s caretaker, providing the miserable demon with all the drink he wanted.  He knew Inu-Yasha so well that he could tell which nights he should cut the demon off early and which nights it was a better idea to allow him to drink himself into oblivion without berating.  He knew when the demon needed to talk and when he simply needed a quiet drink in peace.  Iro knew that his bar was an escape for the unhappy demon, and it was his job to make it the best place possible for his customers.  It was why he was so good at his job, and it kept Inu-Yasha coming back.

With a slight nod at Iro in thanks, Inu-Yasha swallowed the shot in a gulp, gasping as it burned like fire down his throat.  Shaking his head a bit to ease the burn, he pulled out his carton of cigarettes and lit one, inhaling the smoke deeply.  After a few drags of his cigarette and another shot of whiskey helpfully provided by Iro, he finally began to calm down, his shoulders slumping as the tension in them lessened.

“Rough evening?” Iro asked disinterestedly, pouring the demon another drink.

Inu-Yasha snorted.  “Damn right.  I’m hopin’ one of these will help me forget it.”  He took a gulp of the liquor to prove his point.

Iro shrugged.  “One will eventually.”

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As Sango and Miroku followed up on Inu-Yasha’s assignment later that night, they were more anxious than usual.  How had the demon reacted when he’d realized what the target was?  Was he able to get the jewel shard without killing the human?  Just how angry was he with them?  All those questions seemed to be floating silently in the air during the silent car ride to Atlantic Avenue.  The tension was thick as they drove around the docks, quickly discovering the smashed crates and piles of bones.

After that, they lost Inu-Yasha’s trail, but after another long search, they were led by a trail of blood to warehouse 1514 and the mangled corpse.

“So…” Miroku said as they circled the huge body, speaking for the first time in over an hour.  “I guess he was forced to kill the human after all.”

“Mm.  Better this one dead than to allow dozens of others to die at his hands,” Sango replied sagely.

The silence took over again as Miroku studied the gaping hole in its stomach and Sango the wound in its chest.  Finally he said aloud, “Inu-Yasha’s going to kill us for this.”

“…Yes,” Sango answered, unable to disagree.  Both were trying not to think of what Inu-Yasha was going to do when he saw them next.  Sighing heavily, she pulled out her phone.  “I’ll call the Order and have then send in a cleaning crew to get this taken care of before the dockworkers come in the morning.”

“Well, do it on the car ride.”  Miroku ushered her back outside.  “We’re going to the Cornerstone Tap.”

“Ah, yes.”  They both knew that Inu-Yasha often escaped to the Tap after a particularly stressful day, and today had certainly given him reason enough to go.  “But… why?”

He looked guiltily at Sango.  “The sooner we apologize, the better things will be.”

Nodding unhappily, Sango said, “Agreed.”

The drive to the bar was just as uncomfortable as the drive to the docks.  The two partners were stewing in guilt and fear.  They had seen the rages Inu-Yasha could fly into, and were worried if they would escape his wrath unscathed or not.  However, their consciences wouldn’t be at ease until they had made good, so they made their way unwillingly to the Cornerstone Tap.

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Thank you for reading.  Please give me some feedback.  I would like to know what you think.

Thank you to my reviewers!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Inu-Yasha

Guilty Hero

Chapter 3: The Depths of a Mistake

It had been a couple hours  since he had first entered the bar, but Inu-Yasha and Iro had yet to speak after their initial greetings.  Iro, having known Inu-Yasha for many years, could read the demon’s emotions like a book, and could tell from the moment he sat down that it was not the time for idle chit-chat.  However, over the course of the past hour Inu-Yasha had downed enough whiskey shots that Iro felt it was safe enough for him to speak.

“Seems you’ve got a nice burn there,” he said boredly, nodding at Inu-Yasha’s left hand, marred from stomach acid.  “Been playing with fire?”

Glancing down at his hand, Inu-Yasha frowned and slowly shook his head.  “No,” he said shortly, gingerly gripping his glass with tender fingertips.  “Acid.”

“Mm.”  Iro calmly wiped another glass clean, keeping his expression carefully disinterested.  He had never learned what Inu-Yasha did for a living, but never had the desire to know.  Whatever strange wounds the demon showed up at his bar with was Inu-Yasha’s business. 

Inu-Yasha had spent the entirety of his time in the Cornerstone Tap that evening glaring at the bar top with a terrible frown, pausing once in a while to take a drag of a cigarette or to swallow an entire shot of whiskey in a gulp.  It was obvious that he was agitated over something, but he was refusing to say a word. 

Iro didn’t try to push his luck by attempting to continue their conversation; he simply picked up the whiskey bottle to freshen the demon’s drink.  However, he paused with the bottle suspended over the shot glass.  Inu-Yasha suddenly snapped his head up to glower at him, irritated by the delay.

“You got a ride home?” Iro asked sternly, despite the demon’s temper.  It wasn’t often he allowed Inu-Yasha to drink himself to unconsciousness at the Tap; health inspectors tended to perform surprise visits on the bar, and having a drunken half-demon passed out in his break room never helped his evaluation.

For the first time that evening, Inu-Yasha’s angry expression eased as he stared stupidly at Iro.  He hadn’t even thought about going home.  Carefully, he shook his head, not wanting to make himself more lightheaded than he already was.  “No…  I guess I’m walkin’…”

Iro frowned.  “Then I’m cutting you off.  If you’re walking—hang on.”  He peered out the window of the bar where a pair of headlights from a black car drove up and parked in front of the bar.  “I think your two friends just pulled up.”  Thinking Inu-Yasha would be pleased by the arrival of a ride home, Iro filled his shot glass one final time.  “One for the road, then.”

Rather than brightening, Inu-Yasha’s glare returned as fast as it had disappeared, and a snarl tugged at his lips.  He understood who Iro meant when he said ‘two friends’—Sango and Miroku had hauled his drunken ass home from the Cornerstone Tap often enough that Iro was on speaking terms with them.  But tonight, those two were the last people he wanted to see.

A slight growl escaped from his throat when he heard the door open, and he grabbed for his whiskey and drained the entire glass to keep himself from launching at them in his anger.  Already his hackles were raising, and his teeth were clenched around his cigarette behind tight lips in an attempt to control himself.

“Evening, Iro,” Sango said lightly, leaning against the bar and trying to sound unconcerned.  “How’s business this evening?”

“Just fine, thanks to your pal, here.”  He held up the whiskey bottle, where almost a quarter of it had been consumed by Inu-Yasha that evening.

“Ah, yes,” Miroku said knowingly, coming up to stand next to Inu-Yasha.  “Nothing like a drink after a hard day’s work, right?”  He directed his question to the demon, and, despite his casual tone, Inu-Yasha detected a slight waver in his voice.

Inu-Yasha didn’t even trust himself to look at Miroku.  Obstinately staring straight ahead, he inhaled deeply, then blew a cloud of smoke from his nose.  It made for an intimidating performance, he knew, as he used it as a tactic to frighten lesser demons that he fought.  Sango and Miroku were normally immune to such techniques, but now he could smell the guilt and fear rolling off them in waves, and he knew they were not as at ease as they appeared to be.

“U-um…” Clearing his throat after a minute where Inu-Yasha refused to speak, Miroku said haltingly, “We, uh, came to give you a ride home.  We…”  He glanced nervously at Sango who, although looking terrified herself, urged him on with a nod.  “We thought you may not be in the best shape to, um, make it home yourself…  Fighting a, er, I mean, working so hard while wounded…  You must be exhausted.  So, we thought we’d pick you up.”

When Inu-Yasha finally turned to look at them, they both involuntarily took a step back, for his expression was petrifying.  Fury was etched in his eyes; unbridled, cold fury. 

“Did you?” he whispered softly.  “That’s so nice.”

Just from those five words, Sango and Miroku were terrified into silence, rooted to the floor.  Miroku even considered making a break for the door, but he was afraid the demon would take him down before he even made it two steps.  Sango could feel a bead of nervous sweat trickle down the side of her face and felt her muscles tighten as her body unconsciously prepared to defend itself from an attack.  The tension in the air increased tenfold as Inu-Yasha stared unblinkingly at them, as though daring them to make a move.

Even Iro, who hadn’t the faintest inkling of what was happening, could feel the pressure in the air change, sending shivers down his spine.  Recognizing all of the warning signs that a fight was going to break out soon, he spoke up, hoping to get all of them out of his bar before the inevitable happened.  “Uh…”  Turning to Inu-Yasha, he asked, “Do you want to pay your bill now?”

The tension in the air broke when Inu-Yasha slowly turned his attention from Sango and Miroku and onto Iro, sighing heavily and grinding his cigarette in the ashtray.  “Guess so…” he muttered, reaching for his wallet.

Sango, though still terrified, quickly spoke up, seeing this as an opportunity to get on his good side.  “W-we’ll get it, Inu-Yasha!”

“I can pay for my own damn tab!” he snapped harshly, his tone rising as his cool exterior began to crack.  Slamming some bills on the counter so hard that it made his empty shot glass jump, he surged to his feet, then swayed from the sudden movement; all the whiskey he had drunk that evening was rushing to his head.  However, when Miroku stepped forward and took his arm to steady him, he snarled and shoved Miroku aside at the sudden contact.  Then, glaring at them as though daring them to help, he stumbled out of the Cornerstone Tap and let himself into the backseat of Miroku’s car.

Though the tension dissipated completely when the demon left the establishment, Sango and Miroku’s fear was quite obvious to Iro, for they were pale and wide-eyed, staring out after the demon.  “You sure you can handle him this evening?” the bartender asked, looking back and forth between the two.

“No…” Miroku said shakily, straightening his coat and tie and bracing himself to leave.  “But we deserve whatever he deals us…”  With that, he left the bar, Sango following slowly behind.

The short ride to Inu-Yasha’s apartment was almost unbearable.  The demon spent the entire trip staring silently out the window, anger radiating off him in waves.  Miroku’s grip on the steering wheel left his knuckles white, and Sango’s hands were trembling in her lap.  Both were exchanging guilty looks.  Things were going dreadfully.

They reached the apartment building after an interminable amount of time.  Once the car was off, Sango and Miroku quickly climbed out and hovered nearby, glad for just a moment of relief before Inu-Yasha emerged from the car.  He was having a bit of difficultly getting out due to his drunkenness, but nobody dared to lend a hand from fear that it might be torn off.  Things grew even a bit worse when he banged his broken arm and hissed in pain, but they still kept away, for his mood had worsened considerably.

Finally, when he was out of the car and walking unsteadily towards the building, Miroku asked hesitantly, “Do you need help up the stairs?”  It was a risky move, but if he and Sango didn’t go with him now, they would have to walk away without apologizing; despite their fear, their consciences wouldn’t allow that.

Not pausing in his wobbling gait, Inu-Yasha muttered, “Come up.”  It was clearly a demand, not a request.  Sango and Miroku quickly caught up with him and kept close behind as he laboriously climbed the six flights of stairs to his apartment.  It took several minutes, and he often overbalanced and would have fallen had Sango or Miroku not been behind to catch him.  Each time that occurred, he roughly brushed them aside when he was back on his feet and doggedly continued on, using the wall as support.

At last they made it to the seventh floor where Inu-Yasha opened the door to his apartment, then turned and glared expectantly at them.  Once they were inside, he shut the door a bit harder than necessary, making them wince from the noise.  Then he walked around to stand in front of them, staying silent for several moments.  Even though his eyes were glassy and hazy, Sango and Miroku couldn’t help but squirm guiltily from his piercing stare as fear rose in their chests.  The inevitable time had arrived.

“You knew,” Inu-Yasha finally spat harshly, causing them to flinch.  “You knew all along that it was a human.”  Unable to argue, Sango and Miroku nodded, staring at the floor to avoid his gaze, though they could still feel his eyes burning into them.

“Yet you also know…” he continued, his voice beginning to shake with anger,”…that I DO NOT kill humans.”

Once again, they nodded miserably.

“WHY did you lie to me?!”  he snarled, sounding as though he was being strangled.  “Why did you force me to break my vow?!”  Looking up in concern, Sango and Miroku saw not only fury, but anguish on the demon’s ruddy face, and they began to realize how deeply they had hurt their friend.

“Inu-Yasha, we’re sorry!” Miroku cried out at last, horrified by the demon’s grieved expression, blended completely with anger.  “We thought that you of all people could save the human’s life and still obtain the jewel shard from him!”

“We didn’t know you had to kill him!” Sango added, her own voice full of regret and guilt.

A growl was ripped from Inu-Yasha’s throat.  “Fools!” he hissed.  “Once your body has begun to transform, there is no way to remove the jewel but by death!  You saw him!  You must have seen him to know he was a human, so you must’ve known how far gone he was!  You must’ve known…”  Beginning to choke on his own words, stopped speaking and covered his face with a trembling hand, his breathing labored and shallow.  Sango and Miroku took a step toward him out of concern, but stopped when he started to speak again, this time his voice low and full of emotion.

“Don’t you know…” he murmured softly, “…why I don’t kill humans?”  Removing his hand, he looked at Sango and Miroku and they could see tears beginning to pool in his bloodshot eyes.  Swallowing hard, he said, “Every time I kill a human…  All I can see is the day I… k-killed Kikyo, flashing before my eyes.  I can hear her cries of pain, I can feel the bullet in my chest, I can smell her blood on my claws… I relive the whole thing…”

Sango and Miroku looked at each other in horror.  They had had no idea what Inu-Yasha had gone through just to obtain a jewel shard.  Everyone in the Order knew that the day of Naraku’s defeat, normally looked upon as a day of celebration by the city and the rest of the Order, was also Inu-Yasha’s dark day, the day he had lost everything held dear.  It was the day he had yet to return from, and many doubted he ever would return.  That day was what Inu-Yasha filled his head with drink to escape from, one day at a time.  So to hear that he was forced to not only remember, but relive it due to their simple-mindedness…  Miroku and Sango found the guilt unbearable.

“Inu-Yasha, please…”  Sango begged, stepping forward and grabbing his burned hand.  “Please, forgive us…  We are so sorry…  We never knew—“

“Never KNEW?!” Inu-Yasha shouted, tearing his hand away and staring down at her, his eyes flashing angrily.  “You two know better than most the hell I go through every god-forsaken day!”

The fear surging through her from his sudden reaction, overbearing her guilt, she tumbled backwards into Miroku, who quickly stepped in front of her to protect her from Inu-Yasha, who looked as though he was about to strike.  Inu-Yasha was advancing towards them, forcing them to move back until Sango hit the door.  Unable to go further, they could only watch and listen as the demon continued, growing even angrier.

“What you don’t know is what it’s like to be surrounded by so few people you can trust, people who know you.  I used to live my life that way; not trusting anyone.  But…  I thought I could trust you…  I thought I could trust the Order…”  Glaring down at them, he was so close they could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“But then again…” he growled, his tone becoming a deadly quiet.  “… I thought I could trust Kikyo.  And look where that got me!”  He backed away, swinging his arm wide to gesture at his dingy apartment and laughing mirthlessly.  “I’m just a pathetic, washed-up drunk, who is foolish enough to keep trusting when he should’ve learned his lesson the first time around!”  His voice quieted once again, and his gaze dropped to the floor.  He almost sounded like he was talking to himself.   “Well.  I won’t be so foolish again.”

Suddenly, he whipped his head up, with murder in his eyes.  Sango and Miroku, who had long since been stunned into silence, cringed in fear as he strode towards them.  Miroku involuntarily grabbed the doorknob and turned it, causing him and Sango to spill out into the hallway, landing on the grimy floor of the landing.  Inu-Yasha didn’t follow after, but stood in the doorway, glaring down at them with a hatred they had never seen directed at them before.

“Don’t think you’ll be welcome here again,” he rumbled, his tone forbidding discussion.  “And consider this my formal resignation from the Order.”  And then the door was slammed shut, the force reverberating throughout the landing and stairwell and causing the neighbors above and below to shout out obscenities at the disturbance.

For several minutes they sat on the landing in silence, trembling from the ordeal.  Inu-Yasha’s reaction had not been what they had expected.  What they had expected was one of his drunken rages, full of wild, yet restrainable, violence and harsh insults and curses directed at them that they could easily brush off.  But this time was much different.  This time he had been hurt almost irreparably.  There was the barest glimmer of a hope that things could be reconciled, but the chances of success were more than unlikely.

And it was entirely their fault.

It was the sound of breaking glass from Inu-Yasha’s apartment, no doubt due to the demon heaving a liquor bottle or tumbler at a wall, that broke Sango and Miroku’s horrified daze.  Slowly, Miroku climbed to his feet, then held out a shaky hand for Sango to take.  “Come…” he said quietly.  “We can do no more damage here today.”

Nodding silently, for she was close to tears, she allowed Miroku to put his arm gently over her shoulders, and together they descended the stairs and went out to his car, wondering what could be done to repair that damage.

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Though both of they knew it was equally the other’s fault as their own for their current situation with Inu-Yasha, Miroku could tell that Sango was taking it a good deal harder than he.  Even with their numerous duties being second- and third-in-command of the Order, it was clear by how subdued and distracted she was, quick to snap at lower-level workers for disturbing her, yet unable to concentrate on her work when she did have peace.  However, Inu-Yasha was never brought up between them until three days later, during some quiet hours of work in the confines of their own office.

Miroku was quite distracted himself, but not due to his conscience eating away at him like Sango, though guilt did prick at him too many times to count during the day.  No, he was unable to concentrate due to the fact that he had not made a pass at Sango in two days.  He had attempted to fondle her in his usual teasing manner the day after that horrible night, but she had slapped his cheek so hard that he got a crick in his neck and couldn’t turn his head for the rest of the day.  He kept away after that, but was now finding it quite difficult to focus when he hadn’t proclaimed his love for her after so long.  Not that she ever listened to his proclamations anyway, but still…

An incoming fax interrupted his thoughts, and made Sango jump a bit at her own desk.  Looking up irritably, she watched as Miroku rolled his chair back and snagged the paper from the machine.  After a quick glance, he said, “Ah, our informant has gotten us more assignments.  Shall we go over them now, my love?”  He blinked, for the term of endearment had slipped out unexpectedly, but he tried to be nonchalant.  All he earned was a disapproving glare, minus the playful twinkle in her eye that usually accompanied the look.  However, she sighed and pulled out their list of fighters on hand, ready to assign each one to a new task.

“Go ahead.”

With a slight frown at her rather low-key response, Miroku said tiredly, “Let’s see…  It’s seems there’s a small-fry imp who’s pick-pocketing in the Business District.  Shall we send Koga or Kohaku to put a stop to it?”

“Kohaku,” Sango replied, making a mark on her list.  “He’s more subtle than that brazen wolf.”

“All right.”  Miroku checked off the first task, then moved to the second one on the sheet.  “There’s a demon cat who’s started to take on larger prey than usual near the docks.  Hmm…”  He tapped his pen thoughtfully against his lips.  “A demon gaining more power?  It sounds as though there might be a jewel shard involved…”

Almost immediately, he regretted saying that.  Practically all the ‘jewel’ assignments were given to Inu-Yasha due to the demon’s ability to sniff out the jewel’s position in the demon’s body. 

Quickly, Sango cleared her throat and said, “What if we give this one to Koga?”

Miroku shook his head.  “I don’t doubt his strength, but cat demons are slippery devils.  He doesn’t know the district well enough to find all the nooks and crannies the cat could sneak in to.  It would take him ages.”

“Hmm…”

They fell quiet, discomfort settling about them.  Finally, Miroku sighed and said, “I know we’re both thinking it, so I’ll just say it: I wish Inu-Yasha was here.”

Sango set down her pencil and paper, hanging her head.  “I still feel just awful…” she whispered.  “I never expected him to react the way he did.”

“Yes, but we brought this upon ourselves.  We took the risk, and now we are paying dearly for it.”  Miroku regretted having to say such things to the clearly aggrieved Sango, but it was the truth.  Still, seeing Sango upset worried him, and he tried to think of something that might ease her guilt.

Thinking in silence for a moment as Sango sat miserably at her desk, he finally set his pen down and reached for the phone.  “How about we call him?” he suggested hopefully.  “He’ll probably still be furious, of course, but we can use… oh, I don’t know, we can ask about his wounds if we need an excuse.”

Seeming to brighten at the thought of having another opportunity to apologize, Sango said, “Actually, I really am concerned about his injuries.  They still hadn’t healed after two days, right?  That’s not normal.”

“No.  It’s not.  So let’s ask him about it, shall we?”  Pleased to see Sango get up from her desk and move over to hover expectantly behind his chair, he punched in Inu-Yasha’s number, then put his phone on speaker so they both could hear.

Swallowing a large gulp of whiskey, Inu-Yasha groaned a bit as it burned down his throat, but the groan quickly transformed into a cough.  It was a harsh, wet cough that had developed the day before, and it happened often enough to irritate him thoroughly.  Once the choking subsided, he moaned and reclined back in the couch, washing it down with another drink of whiskey straight out of the bottle, the liquor doing an effective job of distracting him from the annoyance.

Sighing, he gazed blearily at the blank television set, sinking easily into an alcohol-induced stupor.  Since Sango and Miroku had left three days ago, he had been trying to find solace by climbing into a whiskey bottle, and by early evening on this third day, his near-empty second bottle was held loosely in his left hand, his fingers still raw and red from burns.

The jarring ring of the telephone made him start, and he growled as the sudden movement irritated the puncture wounds on his neck.   Blinking stupidly at the offending appliance, he reluctantly released his grip on the bottleneck and reached for the phone, having to make a few attempts before successfully grasping it and bringing it to his ear…

After waiting through five rings, which was an excruciating amount of time for the anxious Sango, she squeezed Miroku’s shoulder in relief when the demon finally picked up.

“…Whozit…?” came the slurred voice from the other end, sounding scratchy and rough through the speakers.

Passing a knowing glance to Sango, for both could easily tell the condition their friend was in, Miroku leaned in towards the receiver, making sure to speak slow so the demon’s sluggish mind could keep up.  “It’s me, Miroku.  Sango is here as well.” 

Silence was the response to their greeting.  After waiting a moment for a reply that never came, Sango said loudly, “We’re calling because we were concerned about your wounds, Inu-Yasha.  Have they healed at all?”

Once again, silence.

Looking back at Sango, Miroku was surprised to see tears already filling her eyes from the rejection.  Her conscience was clearly eating away at her when, the normally unflappable, stony-faced Sango, was reduced to tears after such a short, one-sided conversation.  Frustrated by this, Miroku turned his attention to the telephone.

“Look, Inu-Yasha,” he began.  “I know you’re still mad at us, as you have every right in the world to be.  However, please listen to us when we say that we are sorry.  For everything.”

“Yes,” Sango quickly jumped in, seeing as Miroku had opened the topic for her.  “We honestly did not know what you had to go through to kill a human.  And we also thought that you would be able to obtain the shard without having to kill him.  It was why we gave you the assignment in the first place; you, out of all the demons we have working for us, would give it your best shot to save that man’s life.  But we didn’t know that it was possible to transform too far with the jewel’s power.  We’re so sorry…”  She was growing too choked up to speak, so Miroku gently took her hand and stepped in.

“Well, Inu-Yasha?  We’re not asking you to forgive our actions.  Just… can you accept our  apology?”

On the other end, as soon as he heard who had called him, Inu-Yasha simply let the phone slide out of his fingers where it dangled off the edge of the side table by its cord, not even bothering to hang up.  He had long since forgotten about his anger towards the two, thanks to the copious amount of alcohol he’d drunk, but he simply had no desire to have any contact with them whatsoever. 

After another dreadful coughing fit that left him panting for breath, he took a careful swallow from his bottle and reclined back in the couch once again, trying to return to his previous pastime of staring blankly at the television.  However, it was difficult to concentrate when the obnoxious buzz of voices continued to emerge from the dangling phone.  With a slight glare at the blurry outline of his receiver, he growled slightly and fixed attention to the wounds on his neck.  Fingering the bandages, which had long since grown stiff with dried blood, he scratched absent-mindedly at them.  The punctures had been hot and itchy for some time now, but he hadn’t bothered to clean and re-dress them.  No, his body would heal  on its own, so why bother wasting time?

Glancing irritably at the phone once again, which was still buzzing with voice, he took one last gulp of whiskey, then, with surprising force for one so drunk, smashed the bottle on the phone, which instantly went dead.

Sango and Miroku both flinched when a loud crash unexpectedly broke the pregnant silence after Miroku’s last question, and then they received nothing else but a dial tone.  Slowly setting the phone back in its cradle, Miroku sat with his hand on the receiver, almost frightened to look at Sango.  “I guess he didn’t feel like having a conversation right now…” he said, trying to make light of the conversation and rather failing in his attempt.  “We can try again tomorrow, I suppose…”

A slight sniffle came from behind him, and Miroku knew that Sango had a very fragile grip on her emotions.  He quickly got to his feet and drew her into his embrace, resting his chin on the top of her head as she began to weep into his shoulder. 

“Don’t worry…” he said soothingly, stroking her hair.  “Things will get better between the three of us.  Our mistake can be overcome.”

“How?” Sango murmured into his arm, still crying from the ordeal.  “How can we fix the damage dealt?”

Miroku smiled sadly.  “It’s just too soon, right now,” he said softly, tightening his embrace.  “The events are still fresh in Inu-Yasha’s mind.  His heart is weak, and it takes a very long time for him to work past a wrongdoing done unto him.  But as long as we don’t give up on him, he can’t give up on us.”

The simple clarity of that statement broke through Sango’s troubled thoughts.  Looking up at Miroku, who was staring patiently at her for her to understand, she wiped her tears and gently pulled out of his arms.

“You’re right,” she said, her voice sounding stronger than it had been for the past three days.  “We can’t let this stop us.  It doesn’t matter what Inu-Yasha says.  As far as I’m concerned, we’re still his friends, and he can’t keep us away, right?”

A broad smile broke across Miroku’s face.  “Absolutely,” he replied.

Feeling a bit better, Sango made for her own desk, thinking that she would be able to concentrate on her work.  However, as she walked by, she felt a hand find its way onto her bottom, and soon Miroku had a throbbing handprint embedded in his cheek.

“You are so inappropriate,” she hissed, flushing from embarrassment.

Miroku couldn’t help but laugh a bit.  “I guess you are feeling better, then.  Since that is the case, may I invite you to accompany me to dinner this evening?  I should hate to eat alone…”

Sango stared at him like he was insane.  “What is wrong with you?  Do you always grope a girl and then ask her to dinner?”

“Well, not just any girl…”  Shrugging into his coat, he walked over to the door and then held out his hand.  “Coming?”

Her cheeks still red, she sheepishly collected her own coat and brushed past him, refusing to take his hand.  The smile still broad, he shut the door behind themselves. 

Yes, he had eased Sango’s feelings for now.  But he also knew that their resolve would be tested in the days to come, for Inu-Yasha did not give up a grudge easily.  However, their friendship with Inu-Yasha was not one to be tossed aside, and Sango had often proved herself to be just as stubborn as the demon himself…

oOoOooOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.  Please, review with constructive criticism, as always.

Many  thanks to those who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 4: Fault

Over the course of the next four days, Miroku, with Sango hovering anxiously behind him, tried phoning Inu-Yasha’s home at least twice a day, each time receiving the message that the number was unavailable.  It confused and worried the pair of them, but both were still too frightened of Inu-Yasha’s terrible temper to actually visit him at his apartment.  At least, until the end of the week with no successful phone calls.

“Same thing…” Miroku said tiredly, hanging up his phone and swiveling around in his chair to look at Sango.  “That woman’s voice over the dial tone is beginning to grate on my nerves.”

“Why do you think he’s disconnected his phone line?”  Chewing on her thumbnail in worried thought, Sango began to pace.  “He must still be absolutely furious with us to prevent us from even calling him…  Do you think he cut his cord?”

Miroku shrugged, trying to remain positive.  “Perhaps.  But remember when we got a hold of him four days ago?  He sounded like he’d been drinking; he might have just tripped over the cord and accidentally unplugged it.”

“And has yet to plug it back in after four days?”

“Well…”  With a frown, he fell silent, unable to come up with an answer.

Nodding at his lack of response, Sango stated something that had obviously been on her mind for several days.  “I guess he really did mean it when he resigned from the Order.  Cutting his phone line is his way of showing us that he doesn’t want contact.”

Miroku sighed.  “We haven’t filed his paperwork yet, have we?”

“No.  I want to give him the option of coming back for as long as possible.”

“Good.  We need to keep that open.  I’m sure you’ve noticed the strange influx of demons making their appearance known in the city?  We need more fighters than ever nowadays.  I had to give Kohaku a third assignment.  Hell, I even gave that practically useless wolf Royakan the task of removing a demon frog from the sewers that had gorged itself so much that it blocked a whole pipe.”  He glanced over at Sango with a slight twinkle in his eye.  “I didn’t think Kohaku would enjoy that job so much.”

Receiving only  a glare in reply, he cleared his throat and continued.  “My point being, even a drunk like Inu-Yasha can be put to work.  We could use his help right now.”

“You’re just talking from a business standpoint,” Sango replied harshly.  “What about as his friend?  Don’t you want to try and get at least on speaking terms?  How can we do that when his phone is broken?”

Sighing heavily, he got to his feet and snatched his jacket off the back of his chair.  “There are other ways of getting in touch with him, my dear.  Get your coat; we’re going to his apartment.”

Though almost angry at him before, she shied away now, quite nervous at the thought of actually seeing the demon in person.  “But—“

“We can’t give up, Sango,” Miroku gently interrupted.  “If it makes you feel better, I’m nervous myself.  But we can’t just leave things like this.  Inu-Yasha has no life without the Order; without you and me.  He’s going to find himself in a world of hurt if we can’t convince him to return.”  Holding his hand out to her, he gestured at the door.  “Come on.  Let’s go visit our dear misguided puppy.”

The drive to the demon’s apartment was spent in silence.  Sango was gnawing her lip in anxiety while Miroku tried to appear calm and relaxed, hoping to soothe his nervous partner, though he was not at ease himself.  He had managed to help her overcome her fear, but had yet to completely get over his own.  Inu-Yasha’s last words to them continued to play over and over in his head: “Don’t think you’ll be welcome here again.”   Would Inu-Yasha follow through with that threat? 

The drive ended quickly enough, and the two worried companions emerged from the car and climbed the stairs to the seventh floor, standing outside the door to the demon’s apartment.  It was eerily quiet; not a sound could be heard from inside.  However, with an encouraging nod from Miroku, Sango rapped sharply on the door, receiving silence as a reply.  When it refused to open after a few moments, she tried again, louder.

Finally, after almost two minutes of standing on the landing, Miroku suggested hesitantly, “He might be asleep.  Let’s go in and see.  You know he never locks the door.”

Sango swallowed hard.  Honestly, she wanted to turn right around and go back outside and wait until she knew that Inu-Yasha was no longer angry.  Her conscience ached after what they had done to him, but she had seen his fury before, and the mere thought was enough to make her heart quail.  Still, Inu-Yasha was a friend, though he no longer believed that, and it was against her moral fiber to try and ignore her awful deed without accepting the consequences.  Squaring her shoulders, she gripped the doorknob and flung open the door.  “Inu-Yasha, we’re coming in!”

The first thing they noticed upon entering the apartment was how stale the air smelled.  It was as though nobody had moved around inside for days.  Then, as they stepped out of the foyer and into the living room, two things they saw made them start to worry.  First, Inu-Yasha was not sprawled out on the couch, as was his usual position when they made a house call; in fact, he was nowhere to be seen.  Second…

“Four,” Miroku said quietly, lifting up an empty liquor bottle from the coffee table where three other bottles in identical conditions were scattered haphazardly nearby.  “Four bottles of booze in seven days.  This is not good.”

“Five,” Sango corrected, pointing at the side table.  Following her gaze, Miroku saw the broken bottle sticking up out of the destroyed telephone, shards of glass decorating the tabletop.  “This explains why the phone was dead…”

“Oh, the fool…” he groaned, placing his head in his hands.  “Come on.  We need to find him quickly.”

“There,” Sango replied after a moment’s search.  Gesturing down the hall, she pointed Miroku in the direction of the bathroom where a crack of light showed around the door, although she made no move to go herself.

Quickly abandoning his search of the kitchen, he strode down the hallway and flung open the door to the bathroom without hesitation, Sango hurriedly joining him when she heard him gasp.

Inu-Yasha was slumped against the side of the bathtub, his front stained with vomit and blood; every so often a drop of blood would splatter onto his filthy shirt from his slack mouth.  On his neck, the bandages that covered his puncture wounds were colored crimson and yellow, the wounds clearly infected.  His broken arm was out of its sling and laying at an odd angle, broken again, and his left hand was covered in angry, swollen, even open blisters.  It was obvious he hadn’t bathed, or even moved from this spot in days; he reeked of alcohol, and there was even a half-empty bottle of whiskey within arm’s reach, but it appeared to be long forgotten.  With pain etched in his expression, he was breathing raggedly, and was unable to even register their presence until Miroku knelt in front of him and grabbed his shoulders, Sango close behind.

“Inu-Yasha, what’s happened?  What have you done?!” he cried, lightly shaking the demon in an attempt to break him from his daze. 

Suddenly, Inu-Yasha groaned and leaned forward, grabbing at the toilet that was nearby and pulling himself forward.  Wincing as he saw the festering blisters rub against the toilet seat, Miroku quickly got out of the way as Inu-Yasha heaved weakly, vomiting clear fluid three times.  Pausing to catch his breath after the disgusting ordeal, a horrible cough wracked his entire body, and blood exploded from his mouth.  It splattered the toilet bowl with red droplets and colored the filthy water scarlet.  As he tried to spit out a foul mouthful of blood and vomit, he was unable to hold himself up any longer, and slumped onto his side, a painful grimace marring his features.

“My God…” Miroku breathed, shuffling closer and placing a hand on Inu-Yasha’s arm.  He had never seen Inu-Yasha this self-destructive—if it was self-destruction.

“This… is different than his other drinking binges,” Sango said, her voice shaking.  “I’ve never seen anything like this; something is very wrong.”

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Miroku began hefting Inu-Yasha’s over his shoulders, straining from the effort.  “We’ll let the professionals find out what’s going on.  Right now we just need to get  him to the Order’s hospital ward—fast.”  His tone was harsh and abrupt from fear.

Together, they pulled Inu-Yasha, who was as limp as a rag doll, to his feet and put an arm over their shoulders, then proceeded to carry him down the seven flights of stairs to Miroku’s car.  It was certainly an unpleasant task.  He was rather wet from a number of fluids they didn’t want to know the origin of, and the stench emanating from him was enough to fell an ogre.  He hadn’t even changed clothes from the night he killed the human, a full week ago.

“Put him on his side,” Miroku instructed breathlessly when they reached his car and laid the demon in the backseat.  “We don’t want him to choke if he pukes again.”  When Inu-Yasha was safely on his side, they jumped in the car themselves and peeled off, Miroku pressing the speed limit as much as he could.

In record time they arrived at the Order’s headquarters, a non-descript, unlabeled, multi-leveled office building.  Below the building was the hospital wing, made specifically for the medical care and treatment for demons.  Carefully pulling Inu-Yasha out of the car, they staggered inside and headed for the elevator, punching the ‘down’ button while ignoring the curious stare of Rin, the Order’s main secretary.  As Miroku impatiently waited for the numbers to go down, Sango checked on the demon, who hadn’t made more than the occasional groan during the trip.

“I’m surprised he’s still conscious…” she said, realizing that his eyes were open into slits as he panted softly.

“I’m not surprised,” Miroku snapped, readjusting his grip on Inu-Yasha as the elevator doors slid smoothly open.  “He’s a stubborn ass.”

What they had expected to see when they stepped into the hospital wing was the old Lady Kaede hard at work behind the oversized desk set up at the far end of the room.  While the ‘unofficial’ number one of the Order, she was the official head nurse, and had cared for just about every demon and human in the organization.  However, they were greeted by the sight of Lady Kaede deep in discussion with a young woman, who had long dark hair and was dressed in scrubs with playful cats all over them.

As they both stopped in confusion, Kaede and the woman both looked up, quickly spotting the pathetic Inu-Yasha supported between the two.  “Over this way,” she said roughly, skipping the greeting and leading them over to a set of double doors while the girl tagged along behind.  The doors led to a single room, filled with all sort of medical equipment that Sango and Miroku hadn’t the faintest idea how to use.  “On the bed.”

Obeying her command without hesitation, they eased the demon onto the sterile white sheets, which was no easy task.  The unknown woman lent a hand, though, and they eventually had Inu-Yasha stretched out on the bed.  He moaned slightly during the ordeal, and once again lapsed into a coughing fit.  Although it was not as violent as the first they had seen, they still could easily see the fresh blood in his panting mouth once the thick hacking ceased.

“How long has he been coughing up blood?” the woman asked seriously.

“We don’t know,” Sango said miserably.  “This is the first time we’ve seen him in a week…”

“What about these wounds?” Kaede queried, snapping on a pair of latex gloves.  “How long has he had those?”

“Um…”  Glancing at Miroku for help, Sango realized that he was staring tight-lipped Inu-Yasha and hadn’t even heard the question.  “For about two weeks, I think.  When we sent him to fight that spider demon.  He received the broken arm and the puncture wounds from that battle.  Then, when we sent him after that human about a week ago, he came back with burns over his left hand.”

“Two weeks…” Kaede murmured, studying his blistered hand through one beady eye, the other covered with an old eye patch.  “He should have been long since healed.  Did that spider carry a jewel shard?”

Slightly confused from the abrupt subject change, Sango replied shakily, “Yes…  We think he was poisoned by it, and since that bug had a shard, the poison was too potent for even his body to neutralize quickly, as it normally should have been able to do.  But to have his wounds deteriorate so fast…”  She gestured at his punctured neck, where dried blood and pus showed around  the bandages.  “I think it’s something more than the poison that causing this.”

“That’s a logical deduction,” Kaede said slowly, leaning over the demon and opening his eyelid wide to get a look at the eye itself.  As she was doing so, she stopped when she got a whiff of his breath and took a couple steps back.  “Been drinking again, has he?”

Biting her lip, Sango nodded, looking away.  “We found five and a half empty bottles around his apartment.  It’s only been a week…”

“Ah…  That would explain things.  Do you understand, Kagome?”  Kaede suddenly asked the woman, who had been standing by and quietly observing until now.

“I think so…” she replied slowly.  “At first, the poison was only preventing his body from healing the wounds received.  However, by adding such a large quantity of alcohol to his bloodstream, he thinned out his blood and slowed his nervous system, allowing the poison to circulate faster and slowing his body’s healing process.  That, on top of lack of proper care to his wounds, caused them to deteriorate so.”

Kaede nodded, pleased by the girl’s deduction.  “Very good.  And how do suggest we treat him?”

“Well, we should first attempt to get the poison out of his blood, as well as clean his wounds and dress them properly.  We also need to set his broken arm, and possibly lance his blisters—“

“Enough.  One thing at a time.  Please, go retrieve Myoga; we are in need of his services.”

As the girl disappeared through the double doors, Kaede turned to Sango and Miroku, who were staring at her in confusion.  “There will be time to explain things later,” she said sternly, ushering the two of them out the door.  “For now, Inu-Yasha needs immediate care.  Please wait outside until we’re finished.” 

The situation out of their hands, Sango led Miroku over to a couple hard plastic chairs nearby, where they sat in silence, watching as Kagome returned with the tiny flea bouncing behind her.  Once they were behind the doors, everything was quiet again.

After a few minutes of listening to the muffled sounds from the next room, Sango finally sighed and focused her attention on Miroku.

“How are you holding up?” she asked in concern.  “You’ve been awfully quiet.”  Miroku said nothing in reply; he was busy staring at a crack in the floor.  A little worried, Sango put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.  “Miroku?”

At last, with a shaky sigh, he murmured, “He looked so sick…”

“Hm?”

“Inu-Yasha.  The only time I’ve seen him worse than this was right after Kikyo died.  But this time… this time it’s our fault.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Sango said gently.  She was surprised to see him so upset.  He was usually the one who was cool and collected about their tense and stressful relationship with the demon.  It wasn’t often he showed his worry so clearly.  “We didn’t force him to put so much alcohol into such a sick body.  He made that choice on all on his own.”

“No, we didn’t.  But we aren’t completely ignorant, Sango!  We’ve known Inu-Yasha for years; we know how he feels, we know his habits, we know his likes and dislikes…  We also know that the only way Inu-Yasha knows how to handle grief is with drink.  But despite knowing that, we tricked him into a bad situation, and as a consequence, he lands himself in the hospital.  Because of us.”

His little tirade ending, he put his head in his hands, and the two sat together in silence.  Sango couldn’t argue against what he said, for it was all true.

Finally, after a couple moments, she heard him whisper, “I hate that he’s like this…  And we can’t help him.  We’ve already tried everything we can think of to get him back on his feet, and nothing’s worked…  He needs something besides us, but what?  This is out of our hands…”  It was clear the seriousness of the situation was beginning to hit him.

“His condition may be out of our hands,” Sango corrected, “but that doesn’t mean we have to give up on him.”

“Sango, my dear, seven years of alcoholism cannot be reversed by mere friendship.  He needs more help than that.  He needs more than what we alone can give him.”  Leaning back in his chair, he took Sango’s hand in his own, seeking a bit of comfort.  “I just don’t know what to do anymore…”

Worried, for she rarely saw him look so hopeless, she thought hard.  At last, blushing furiously and going against her every instinct, she scooted forward in her chair and sat up straight, gripping his hand tightly.  “Miroku, I know you’re upset right now.  So, in order to make you feel better…”  She turned her head away and squeezed her eyes shut.  “…You may fondle my bottom.”

He blinked in surprise, for that was certainly not what he had expected to hear.  As he shifted to look at her and noticed her suggestive position, a small smile broke his features, and he laughed lightly.  Glancing over her shoulder when she heard him laugh, she flushed an even deeper red.  “You’d better take advantage of this now.  I’m never doing this again.”

“Oh, my dear Sango…” he sighed, putting his arm over her shoulders and pulling her close so that her head rested against his shoulder.  “Thank you.”

They fell into silence once more, although this time the tension in the air was far more relaxed.  After a few moments, Miroku said calmly, “Besides, I prefer to fondle the unsuspecting girl, like this,” and Sango felt the wandering hand over her backside.

There was a resounding slap!, and then silence reigned again.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Over an hour passed before Lady Kaede, Kagome, and Myoga emerged from behind the double doors.  Myoga was now the size of a basketball and was giggling slightly, his cheeks stained red.  In response to the confused look Sango and Miroku gave him, Kaede said, “While removing the poison from Inu-Yasha’s bloodstream, he accidentally sucked some alcohol up as well.  A difficult mistake to avoid with the likes of that boy.  Kagome, if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course.”  Picking up the engorged flea, Kagome deposited him in another room, then returned to the group.

“Well?” Miroku asked impatiently when she returned.  “How is he?  Is he going to be all right?”

Kaede nodded.  “Of course.  The fool’s as tough as nails.  Right at the moment though, he’s in a stable, but critical condition.  Myoga was able to suck up most of the poison, but not all.  Inu-Yasha’s blood was quite potent for the old flea.”

“As for his wounds,” Kagome added, “We cleaned them thoroughly, and they appear better already.  We’ll keep him on antibiotics and continue to clean them periodically over the next few days, and they should be completely healed by the end of the week.  He’ll probably be able to go home by then.”

Although visibly relieved, Sango and Miroku looked skeptically at her.  Miroku asked, “Please pardon my rudeness, but who are you?  Being the heads of the Order means that we know all who have been hired, but I don’t seem to recall anything about you…”

“That’s because I hired her myself,” Kaede broke in.  Being the number one, the real head of the Order, she was indeed allowed to do such a thing without Sango and Miroku knowing.  “I needed a helper for the hospital.  With the growing number of demon threats around the city, I can’t concentrate on my leader duties and my hospital duties fully, so I hired Kagome here to help.  She’s trained at the Order’s school for several years, and excelled at demon medical studies.”

“Oh, really?” The pair were quite impressed.  The Order’s school was only for the most elite of students, and they were handpicked by members of the Order to even attend the school.  It was quite an remarkable feat to be chosen by the head of the Order herself for a job, so Sango and Miroku knew that she was no lightweight.  “Well.  Thank you for taking such good care of Inu-Yasha during this ordeal.”

“Oh, her job isn’t finished yet,” Kaede replied.  “As of tomorrow, I shall be taking my yearly tour of our other branches across the country.  Kagome will take over the hospital wing, and will be watching over Inu-Yasha as he recovers.”

Kagome nodded.  “I certainly hope I’m up to the challenge,” she said nervously, a shy smile on her face.  It seemed that, once  the crisis was over and she no longer needed to focus on her job, she was quite pleasant to be around.  “From what I’ve heard from Lady Kaede, he’s not the easiest person to handle.”

“Not to worry, Ms. Kagome.  Sango and I shall be at your side every step of the way.” 

Frowning at Miroku, for she immediately recognized the change in his speech as his way of picking up ladies, Sango pushed to be between him and the new girl.  “You’re going to need all the help you can get with Inu-Yasha.  We’ll be here to make sure he doesn’t get too out of hand.”

“Thank you.  I know you’re worried about him, but I’m going to do my best to get him healthy as soon as possible.”

“Healthy?  He hasn’t been healthy for years.  Just get him back on his feet and you’ll have done your job.”

Kagome, being trained in medicine and health, looked alarmed by Sango’s last statement, but Kaede interrupted before she could get a question in.  “That’s enough discussion for one night.  It’s late, and we’re all tired.  Miroku, Sango, you two should go home now.  Inu-Yasha will no doubt be unconscious for quite some time, so you should take this opportunity to rest.”

Nodding, the pair stood up.  “Thank you so much for all you’ve done today, Lady Kaede,” Sango said earnestly, shaking her superior’s hand.

“Hmph.  After that fool saves the city from certain doom…  It’s the least I can do.”

“And thank you, Ms. Kagome,” Miroku said gallantly, taking Kagome’s hand.  “I look forward to seeing more of you in this coming week.”

Scowling, Sango pinched his ear and dragged him towards the elevator.  “Come on, lover boy, you need to take me home.”

“Of course, my dear.  Of course.”

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Thank you to those who reviewed!

In this chapter: Sango and Miroku are having to deal with an unusual problem in the city, while Inu-Yasha meets Kagome for the first time.

Guilty Hero

Chapter 5: Trouble Brewing

“Damn it,” Miroku cursed as he and Sango left the Order’s HQ, having only entered it mere seconds earlier.  “I just wanted to check up on Inu-Yasha.  Why do our agents always send us an emergency call when we’re right in the middle of something?”

“Oh, hush,” Sango berated him, climbing into the passenger’s side of their black car.  “You know what can happen if we ignore these calls.  Chaos, anarchy, etc., etc…”  Back in their earlier days as heads of the Order, they learned quite quickly to make emergency calls priority one in any situation, and it was a rule that still stuck with them today.

“Fine, fine…”  Still grumbling, Miroku started the car and pulled into the early morning traffic.  “Now, where did Kohaku say he was?”

“Near the quarry on the east side of town,” Sango replied.  “Now stop complaining and step on it.  The sooner we take care of this, the sooner we can get back to Inu-Yasha.”

Scowling the entire way, Miroku got them to the quarry in record time, and upon their arrival they were greeted by one of their top agents, Kohaku, who was waiting patiently by the fence.  He was quite a young boy, just past the tender age of sixteen, and was hardly old enough to be in the Order at all.  However, like his sister, he had shown exceptional skill at an early age in demon combat, as well as good common sense, and thus rose rapidly through the ranks.  He wasn’t the most courageous or stoic of agents, but he was more than capable, and quite trustworthy.

“Good morning, Miroku, Sister,” he said politely, giving a short bow as the pair climbed out of the car.  “I’m sorry to pull you away from Inu-Yasha so soon, but I thought you needed to know about this as soon as possible.”

Cocking her head in confusion, Sango asked, “How did you know about Inu-Yasha?  We haven’t told anyone…”

“Rin told me about it,” Kohaku answered, a slight grin tugging at his lips; it was well known throughout the Order that their secretary Rin was quite the chatterbox, and, though well-intentioned, not the best confidant.  “She caught a glimpse of him when you carried him through the lobby.”

“Never mind, never mind,” Miroku broke in, trying to keep his irritation at a minimum.  “What did you need us for?”

“Ah, yes.  Over this way.”  Quickly, he led his superiors over to a clearing next to the quarry where construction equipment was stored.  Bulldozers and cranes were stationed there, along with piles of rubble and the like.  The only thing out of the ordinary was the deep gouges in the dusty, hard earth; no piece of machinery was able to make such deep, precise crevices.  Eyeing the fissures, Miroku glanced up at the boy for an explanation.

“I was finishing up an assignment this morning before daybreak,” Kohaku began, playing with his brown  topknot as he spoke.  “The giant centipede that had emerged from the sewers, remember?”  Receiving confirmation from Sango and Miroku, he went on.  “I chased it here on its last legs, so to speak, and finished it off right here—“ he gestured at the construction site, “—and then called the cleaning crew to dispose of the body, just like normal.  However…”

He turned to look at the two.  “I received a call from the head of the crew about an hour later, asking me for the specific area where I killed that centipede.   I told him three times, gave him specific directions on how to get here, but he still kept insisting that he could find no body to clean up.  Finally, I just came out myself to show him where, but when I arrived—“  He waved a hand at the bare ground.  “This is what I saw.  No body.  Nothing.  It just… disappeared without a trace.”

Sango and Miroku stared around the site, concerned.  “The body was gone?  Why?  Are you certain it wasn’t the cleaning crew?”

Kohaku nodded.  “Yes.  They were just as confused as I.”

“Hm…”  After several minutes’ thought, Miroku finally sighed and headed back towards the car.  “Come along, Kohaku.  We’re going back to HQ so you can give a full account of what happened to our informant.  We’ll let him sniff about the city and see if he can uncover the body.  If he can’t…  Well then, we have a much bigger problem to deal with.”

“What do you mean?” Sango asked, jogging to keep up with Kohaku close behind.

“If there’s no body to be found, then that means someone stole it.  And stealing bodies never ends up well.”

Sango gaped at him.  “…You think someone stole the body?”

“It’s only a possibility, my dear, not a certainty,” Miroku reassured her.  “If our informant can uncover the body, then we have nothing to worry about.  Now come along, let’s get back to HQ.  We have work to do.”

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Kagome sighed heavily as she lifted her head off her arms, feeling her neck muscles groan from the movement.  Sleeping at a ninety-degree angle on her desk at the hospital had not been a good idea, as she was quickly discovering.  Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she peered at the noise that had caused her to awaken from her dead sleep in the first place.

“Good morning, Ms. Kagome,” Miroku said, flashing her a brilliant smile.

“I-I… um…  Oh dear…”  Upset to be caught sleeping on the job, she hurriedly got to her feet, straightening her dark hair and adjusting her scrubs.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been sleeping…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sango said tiredly, coming up from behind Miroku.  “We know what it’s like to pull 36 hour shifts.  In fact, we’re in the middle of one right now.”

“Ah, I see.  Rin did mention that something big happened yesterday morning.  Is everything all right?”

“Eh…”  Seeming uncertain, Sango slowly replied, “For now, I suppose…  At any rate, we’ve caught a spare moment, so we came to visit Inu-Yasha.  How is he doing?”

Stifling a yawn, Kagome shuffled out from behind the desk and made for the double doors at the side of the room.  “Come see for yourself.”  Eagerly, Sango and Miroku crowded into the room after her, anxious to get a glimpse of their friend.

“He hasn’t awoken yet,” Kagome began, moving around to the opposite side of the bed.  “However, his wounds are already beginning to heal, as you can see.”  She peeled away the bandages from his puncture wounds, and, though still gaping and red, they were not near as infected as when Sango and Miroku had seen them two days prior.  “Though not quite as fast as we would like them to be healing, I’m afraid.”

Sango looked worriedly at his face, still pinched in a scowl while he slept.  “Why not?  Is there still poison in his bloodstream that needs to be drawn out?”

“Hm.”  Cutting fresh squares of gauze to re-dress his neck wounds, Kagome answered, “If you mean liquor, then yes, absolutely.  His blood alcohol levels are still through the roof.  I can’t administer antibiotics until we get his BAC down to at least 0.08.”

Though not completely following, Miroku asked hesitantly, “Um, and what is his BAC now?”

Glancing up from her work on Inu-Yasha’s neck, Kagome said, “Lower than when he arrived here two days ago.  He arrived with a BAC of 0.4, and in a normal human, that can result in death.  He’s at 0.18 right now.  That’s nothing to be happy about, but at least the number is dropping.  I should think that by tomorrow evening his levels should be low enough to start him on antibiotics.”

Shocked to hear just how badly Inu-Yasha’s binge had affected him, Miroku said quietly, “Well… that’s a relief.  I’m glad to hear he’s doing better.”

Softly, almost under her breath, Kagome added, “Of course, he’d be doing even better if he hadn’t arrived so drunk in the first place…”  She knew that it was insulting to say that, but what Sango had said two days earlier was still bothering her; Healthy?  He hasn’t been healthy for years.  Just get him back on his feet and you’ll have done your job.  How could his friends be so casual about a problem that was so serious?

“Now, look,” Miroku said immediately, casting a glance at Sango, for she had suddenly tensed at the remark.  “That wasn’t our fault—“  Then he abruptly stopped and clamped his mouth shut.  In a sense, it was their fault…

An awkward silence filled the room.  Kagome was trying to restrain herself from making any other out-of-place comments, and Sango and Miroku were beginning to feel the guilt that had been hovering in the back of their minds, ready to emerge and strike at their consciences.  However, before that guilt took control, a low moan brought them back to reality.

Jerking their gazes up from the floor, Sango and Miroku saw Inu-Yasha shift slightly on the bed, moaning again as he tried to turn his head, which tugged at the stiff wounds on his neck and caused him a good amount of discomfort.

“Inu-Yasha?” Sango asked, placing a hand on his arm as her anxiety suddenly got the better of her.  “Inu-Yasha, are you awake?”

Slowly, the demon’s bloodshot eyes fluttered open, but he soon shut them again and turned away, groaning from the barrage of light.  “Damn it…” he muttered hoarsely, his voice soft and rough after being neglected for over a week.  “Where…”  As he cracked his eyes open once more, the image of Sango and Miroku’s worried faces swam into view, and a low rumble welled up in his throat.  “You two…”

“Oh, thank goodness you’re awake,” Sango said, relief clearly evident in her voice.  “We were so worried—“

“Wh-what the hell are you doin’ here?” he interrupted, his voice rising as he tried to sit up.  “Get out.  Get out right now, you bastards.”

“Don’t sit up,” Kagome quickly cut in, trying to push down on his shoulders.  However, he didn’t even register her presence as he glared unblinking at Sango and Miroku.

“Inu-Yasha, we’ve been quite concerned about—“ Miroku tried to say, but Inu-Yasha wouldn’t stand to hear a word they said.  Snarling, he swung his left hand at them, claws and fangs bared in anger.

“Get out,” he growled as they quickly jumped away from his unexpected attack.  Although he was obviously weak and not fully awake, it was evident that he had not forgotten the events of that dreadful night, and was not ready to forgive and forget just yet. 

A snarl still firmly in place and a furious glare still bearing down on them, Inu-Yasha suddenly dropped back to the pillows, trembling visibly from exertion.  He was panting and sweaty, his face pale and gaunt; Kagome decided it was high time she stepped in before his condition worsened.

“I’m afraid you do need to leave,” she told Sango and Miroku regretfully.  “We needn’t cause him undue stress; it’ll only put more of a strain on the healing process.”

“But…”  Sango stared worriedly at Inu-Yasha, who glowered right back.  The staring contest went on for several moments, until Inu-Yasha slowly shut his eyes and rolled his head back, grimacing in pain. 

“Out…” he moaned one last time, and it was all the convincing Sango and Miroku needed.  Dejected, they both quietly turned and left the room.  However, although they were upset over his rage towards them, they felt as though a great weight had been lifted from their shoulders; to see him conscious made all the difference in the world.  If only he were conscious and on good terms with them…

The tension in the air dissipated once Sango and Miroku were gone, and Kagome heaved a silent sigh of relief.  She wasn’t sure what the dispute was between the three of them, but it was clear that it could have escalated into something much worse had Inu-Yasha been in a fit state to fight.  Being a new nurse in the hospital, a fight was the last thing she wanted to break up during her first week.

“Hey.”

The hoarse voice broke into her thoughts, and she blinked and focused her attention on the pale figure lying on the hospital bed.  “Hm?”

He was peering hazily at her with his blood-red eyes, an expression of skepticism on his face.  “Who’re you?  An’ where am I?”

Putting a bright smile on, Kagome replied, “I’m your nurse, Kagome, and you’re at the hospital at the Order’s HQ.  You’ve been here for two days now.”

He frowned, his foggy brain slowly processing the information.  “…Whafor?”

“Oh, poisoning, blood loss, acid burns, infected wounds…  Let’s just say you’ve been through hell.  Your two friends brought—“

“They are NOT my friends,” he interrupted hotly, then moaned from the loudness of his voice and lay back on the pillows.  “They aren’t my friends…” he repeated, his tone much quieter.

With a small nod of acknowledgement, Kagome said soothingly, “I’m sorry, I just assumed.  They’ve been very worried about you, so I figured they were companions of yours.”  Her only response was a dismissive grunt, so she continued with her explanation, not wanting to irritate him further. 

“When Sango and Miroku brought you here two days ago, you were barely conscious, covered in blood and vomit, all of your wounds were festering…  And, if you’ll excuse me for saying so, you were so full of liquor that it’s a wonder you weren’t bleeding booze.”  She carefully watched for his reaction to her last statement, but he seemed to be unconcerned, showing no shame or guilt.  It appeared to be of no great importance to him, which worried her immensely.  He either did not understand the huge impact his drinking had on his visit to the hospital, or it was a common enough occurrence that he no longer cared; she was fairly certain it was the latter.

Clearing her throat, she said, “Anyway, we had Myoga drain the poison from your system so your body could finally begin to heal itself, then we cleaned your wounds and let you sleep.  You’ve been out for the majority of the past two days.”

“Mm.”  He had a deep scowl on his face, his brow furrowed in thought.  He was having a difficult time trying to piece together the fragments of memories swimming around in his aching head.  The last thing he could remember was shoving Sango and Miroku out of his apartment.  From there, all he knew was that he, in a desperate attempt to block out the events of the day, pulled a fresh bottle of whiskey from the cabinet and went to town.  After that, everything seemed to have slipped away from his consciousness.  He was grateful, at least, to know why he had suddenly awoken in a hospital room, and to have received an explanation as to why he felt like some demon had chewed him thoroughly then spat him out.

Realizing that the nurse, whose name he had already forgotten, was staring at him, clearly waiting for him to say something, he finally grumbled, “I ain’t s’posed to be here…”

A bit taken aback by the randomness of his comment, she said, “I beg your pardon?  You’re in the half-demon ward at the Order’s hospital.  There’s no better place to be for a sick demon such as yourself.”

He turned his painfully red glare on her blurry figure once again.  “I resigned from th’ Order,” he bluntly informed her.  “I shouldn’t be here.”

Even more confused, for Sango and Miroku had said nothing about this, Kagome finally answered, “Well, even if you have resigned, I think the savior of the city should be able to use the top-notch, state of the art facilities here at the Order’s HQ.  Don’t worry about it; Sango and Miroku wouldn’t have brought you here otherwise.”

“Feh.”  Normally, he would have been quite infuriated by this woman’s insistence on constantly bringing up Sango and Miroku, the two people he hated most at the moment.  But with his stomach churning ceaselessly and his head causing him undue pain, he settled for being a rather annoying patient to her.

“My head hurts, woman,” he growled suddenly.  “Get me some medicine.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied apologetically.  “I can’t give you any medicine until your BAC is down to 0.08.”

Her statement went clear over his pounding head.  “What?  What th’ hell does that mean?”

Sighing, Kagome walked around to the other side of his bed and started unwrapping his blistered hand.  “It means,” she said slowly, “that you’re still drunk.  I suggest you go back to sleep.  The sooner you sleep this off, the sooner we can pump some drugs into you.  How does that sound?”

Honestly, it sounded fabulous to Inu-Yasha, who was ready to kill for some relief, any relief to his discomfort at the moment.  However, seeing that he wasn’t going to get those drugs any time soon, he snarled at her and jerked his hand out of her grasp… or at least, tried to jerk his hand away.  He was so weak that this woman’s light grip kept his hand in place, and he only succeeded in irritating several of the tender blisters.

“Dammit, woman…” he groaned.  “Stop hurtin’ me!”

Trying to retain her air of infinite patience, Kagome replied softly, “I’m sorry.  I was trying to be gentle.  Here.”  Setting his hand back on the sheets for a moment, she retrieved a jar of ointment and proceeded to carefully rub it on his burns.  A small smile crept across her lips as she saw him squirm at first, afraid that it would hurt.  But the ointment, she knew, was cool to the touch, and very soothing on his burns, and he soon relaxed, keeping quiet.  She began massaging the cream on, working in slow, smooth circles, a technique that was helpful in relaxing a restless patient.  And the trick worked quite well, for Inu-Yasha was soon fast asleep once again.

“Whew…”  She exhaled in relief.  The demon had hardly been awake five minutes, and already he had become a handful. 

Still, she was more intrigued than annoyed by him.  To be treating the Inu-Yasha…  Savior of the city, slayer of the almighty Naraku, most powerful half-demon in existence…  There wasn’t a single adult in the city who didn’t recall the day of his triumph over Naraku, nor was there a child in school who hadn’t read of Inu-Yasha’s exploits in their history book.  He was practically worshipped as a god for his deeds.  So why, then, was he in the hospital, half-dead from, what she was able to gather, wounds from a mere spider demon?

And then there was the issue of his health.  The necessary tests she had run while he had been unconscious revealed results of grave concern.  They told of years of alcoholism, a disgusting habit of smoking, and the very unwise decision to skip far too many meals.  How was it that a demon of such fame and fortune, who should be living the high life, was suffering from many symptoms of depression?

Also, from his fervent insistence that Sango and Miroku were friends of his, she was able to figure that something had occurred between the three, for Sango and Miroku continued to act as worried friends, rather than concerned superiors of their subordinates.  It was well-known by all who were employed by the Order that Sango and Miroku had been Inu-Yasha’s sole companions for the past several years.  Whatever had happened, it must have been huge for Inu-Yasha to toss aside his only two friends in the world.

Staring at the sleeping demon before her, Kagome absently snagged her clipboard and picked up a pen, tapping it thoughtfully against her chin.  Should she attempt to uncover the mysteries behind this demon, or should she simply do as Sango had told her: ‘Just get him back on his feet and you’ll have done your job.’?

Hmm…

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Thanks for reading, and please, leave a review.

Thanks to those who reviewed!

In this chapter: Inu-Yasha struggles with hospital life and Kagome works her magic.

Guilty Hero

Chapter 6: Forgiven, Not Forgotten

“Dammit, woman!” Inu-Yasha snarled angrily, glaring as Kagome focused on her clipboard.  “Why not?!”

Sighing heavily, Kagome set down her clipboard and placed both hands on the bed, staring evenly at her irritable patient.  “I am a medical assistant, Inu-Yasha.  I’ve been studying to be a doctor for several years.  I know exactly the effects smoking has on the body.  I have seen lungs full of tar, throats covered in cancer, and hearts struggling to keep beating.  I cannot, in good conscience, provide cigarettes for you.”

“Look, I don’t give a damn about—“

“Inu-Yasha…”  Kagome interrupted him, tired of hearing him complain.  “For three days you have asked me the same question, and for three days you have received the same answer.  Now for the last time: I will not get you cigarettes.  Understand?”  Without waiting for a reply, she retrieved her clipboard and started to walk away.

It had been growing increasingly difficult to keep her temper around Inu-Yasha during the past three days.  He had finally awoken sober, and from then on had been a terror.  Complaining, whiny, and incredibly irritable, he had made her days hell, ordering her around, blaming all of his aches and pains on her so-called ‘poor’ nursing skills, and complaining bitterly about the service.  However, she did her best to retain an air of infinite patience; despite his more disagreeable traits, she was still intrigued by him, and could not waste opportunities to learn more of his situation.

Inu-Yasha scowled.  “You’re just being a heartless bitch,” he snapped, snagging her clipboard and dragging her back to his bedside so he could yell at her properly.  “Even that old hag Kaede would let me out for a smoke!”

Jerking her property out of his grasp, Kagome fought to hold her tongue; Kaede probably allowed him out so she could get a moment’s peace in the hospital, for Inu-Yasha was quite vocal in his displeasure with the service.  The prospect of him leaving the building, if just for a few minutes, was growing all the more appealing to Kagome, whose patience was wearing thin.  However, what she had told the demon was true; she had seen during her training dreadful cases of lung cancer and heart disease brought on by smoking.  So no matter what tactic he tried to persuade her, and he had tried several, she simply could not give in.

“Well, I’m not Kaede,” she replied quietly.  “So please stop treating me like her.  I’m only trying to help.”

“Help?!” he growled back.  “You’re not helpin’ me a bit!  Look at me—I’m shaking!”  He held up his hand to prove his point, and Kagome could easily see how violently it was trembling.  “And what would stop me from shaking,” he continued, speaking slowly like he was talking to a child, “is a cigarette.  Yet you won’t get me one.  Therefore—you’re not helping.”

Inu-Yasha had to admit, while he truly was annoyed with her for being so stubborn, he couldn’t help but take some joy from how angry she was becoming.  A muscle in her cheek was throbbing from how tightly her teeth were clenched, and her grip on the clipboard left her fingers white.  He preferred to see this as payback for her preventing him from satiating his frequent nicotine fits.  Why wouldn’t she cave in to his demands?  Kaede had never been able to stand him for long when he was stuck in the hospital before, but this young woman was proving to be a harder nut to crack.

“Look, Inu-Yasha,” she said with a tone of finality.  “I’ll repeat what I said to you the first time you asked me.  If you can find somebody to get you cigarettes without leaving this bed, I’ll allow you outside to smoke them.  End of discussion.”

Inu-Yasha abruptly shut his mouth, staring silently at her with a furious glare.  This woman knew exactly what she was doing.  She was well aware that the only people who ever came to visit him were Sango and Miroku, and she also knew full well that he refused to see them.  In fact, he ordered her to send them away the second he caught their scent in the waiting room.  But for some reason unbeknownst to him, she was constantly trying to ease the animosity between him and them; this latest scheme was clearly a plot to force him to suffer their presence while begging for a smoke.  Well.  He didn’t care much for being tricked in such a way.

“Damn you,” he growled finally, slumping back to the pillows and pointedly turning away.  “Get out.”

Although inwardly rolling her eyes, for she had heard him utter that phrase more times than necessary during his stay at the hospital, she couldn’t help but feel some guilt for the position she had put him in.  He had been without cigarettes or liquor for several days, which, as she had learned from a chat with Sango and Miroku earlier that week, was one of the worst punishments he could suffer through.  And, while she refused to let either of the vile substances anywhere near the hospital ward, she could still feel guilt at causing him undue stress and discomfort.

It was this thought that prompted her to say a kind word to him, despite all of her irritation.  “I’m truly sorry,” she said quietly, bowing her head.  “I know it’s difficult for you.  But I’m afraid my mind is made up.  Please understand, I’m only trying to do what’s best for you.”

“Like you give a damn,” Inu-Yasha suddenly snapped, making her start in surprise.  “You’re just doing your job; you couldn’t give a rat’s ass about me.  Now quit pretending that you do and get the hell outta here.”

Kagome was quite hurt by his comment; she had been doing her best for the past five days to nurse him back to health, not just physically, but mentally as well, despite the great toll it had been on herself.  She had to deprive herself of sleep, endure his horrible tongue, and argue with him until she was blue in the face in order to do what was best for him.  She was concerned about him, and after so long of toiling over him, she was insulted by his snide remark.

Trying to keep her temper under control, she simply murmured, “I’m sorry…” once again and walked briskly out of the room.

“’Couldn’t give a rat’s ass…’” she muttered, slamming the clipboard on her desk and collapsing on the chair.  “How rude!  Does he not know how horrible he is?”  However, she quickly shook her head in an attempt to calm the anger rising.  It wouldn’t do to get mad at her overly stubborn patient.  “No…  This is only an opportunity for me to show him a kindness he doesn’t get often.  There’s a reason he’s this way, Kagome,” she reminded herself, reaching for the phone.  “It’s up to you to be patient and understanding.  Now—let’s show him how much I can give…”

Punching in an extension number, she waited through three rings before someone picked up on the other end.

“This is Sango,” a tense, stressed voice said.  “Make it quick.”

“Sango, it’s Kagome,” Kagome said, trying to sound relaxed and cheerful, for her superior did not appear to be quite happy at the moment.

“Kagome?  Is there something wrong with Inu-Yasha?”  The worry in Sango’s tone increased tenfold.  “He hasn’t done anything stupid, has he?”

“No, no,” Kagome quickly assured her.  “Things are going as smoothly as they have been.  I actually called because I’ve thought of a way you might be able to see him.”

A slight scoff came from the other end.  “He won’t see us, Kagome,” Sango told her, sounding a bit irritated.  “We’ve been trying every day, you know that!  It’s foolish to think otherwise.  Now if you don’t mind, we’re swamped up here--”

“Do you not trust me?” Kagome asked her suddenly.  “I have mended his broken arm, prevented the poison from taking over his body, eased his blistered hand, and kept the infection in his neck at bay.  While doing all of that, I have come to know him over the course of this past week, and I can assure you, I know his needs.  And he needs his friends.  Badly.”

Silence greeted her little speech.  Finally, Sango said quietly, “He needs us?”

“Yes,” Kagome replied.  “He’s absolutely miserable, and, while I can’t say I know your history, I’m fairly certain it’s because of whatever happened between the three of you.”

A longer silence met this answer.  “…You have a plan that will let us see him?”

With a small sigh of relief, Kagome nodded.  “I think I do.  Along with you two, he is also in need of food, because he refuses to eat any of the hospital food, and, as he has made blatantly clear, he needs cigarettes.  I’m going to use those weaknesses to get him to at least see you guys.  Are you with me?”

“Yes.”

“Good.  Now, on your lunch break, go get enough food for three people from a local restaurant, I don’t care which.  Pick up a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on your way.  When you get back, give me the cigarettes, then go outside and start eating your lunch.  I’ll have Inu-Yasha out there soon after.  Understood?”

“Affirmative.  Come on, Miroku!  We’re going on lunch—“ *click*

With a satisfied smile, Kagome hung up her phone as well.  She was finally about to make progress with the difficult half-demon in the next room.

oOoOoOo

Inu-Yasha scowled bitterly when Kagome entered the room a few minutes later; she was the last person he wanted to see.  His previous nicotine fit had receded not long after she had left, but a new one had started soon after.  They were beginning to occur more frequently, and he was almost at the point where he would sneak out of the building to get cigarettes himself.  The only thing that kept him in his bed at the hospital was the minor fact that he had no money.  Also, as he grudgingly admitted to himself, he really didn’t have the strength to make it to a convenience store and back.  Sure, his wounds had healed, but his strength hadn’t even half returned.

“What the hell do you want?” he growled as Kagome slowly approached his bed with her hands behind her back.  “Going to show me some pictures of diseased lungs?  Or maybe you’re going to read me an article from a medical journal about the effects of smoking, because that just sounds so damn fun…”

“Hm.  Somebody has cigarettes on the brain, huh?”  She stared sorrowfully at him, a sad expression on her face. 

“Look, if you came in here to mock me—“

“No, no.  Calm down.”  Kagome quickly interrupted him before he could get going in a full-blown rant, for he was about ready to pull her head off.  “I really don’t like to see you this way, no matter what you may think.  It is a great physical toll on you not to smoke, as you’ve told me, and we need to make your recovery process as easy as possible so you can go home.  So that’s why…”  She brought her hand out from behind her back, holding out a brand new carton of cigarettes and a fresh lighter to the demon.  “I’ve changed my mind.  Take it.”

He didn’t need to be told twice.  As soon as he saw the precious commodity being handed to him, he quickly climbed out of the hospital bed and snatched it from her hand, tearing open the carton and pulling out one of the white sticks with shaky fingers.  However, he only just got it in his mouth when he heard Kagome say sternly.  “Not in here, though.  Smoke outside.  I’m not going to have you gas out my hospital.  Go on.  Out.”

With a frustrated growl, he stalked out of the room, so desperate for a smoke that he forgot to put on the slippers by his bed, and ended up running barefoot to the elevator.  Once inside, he pounded the button for the ground floor repeatedly, holding back a snarl as the doors slowly slid shut.

“C’mon, c’mon…” he muttered, waiting impatiently.  Suddenly, the elevator lurched upward, seemingly at his request, but he soon regretted that action.  The movement of the elevator made him realize that he hadn’t been fully upright in over a week; his head spun and his legs suddenly turned to jelly, forcing him to grab the wall for support.  Still, despite the nausea and disorientation, he stayed on his feet, determined to make it outside.

Stumbling out of the elevator as soon as it dumped him on the ground floor, he paused for just a moment against the wall, waiting for his vision to stop spinning .  After a minute, he pushed off; he was going to make it outside come hell or high water.

“Inu-Yasha!  What are you doing?  Do you need some help?”  Rin’s queries fell on deaf ears as Inu-Yasha doggedly staggered past reception, his fangs bared in determination around his unlit cigarette.  By this point he was about to get down on his hands and knees and crawl out the door, but Rin emerged from behind  her desk and quickly came over to hold the door open for him. 

Grunting his thanks as he all but fell outside, he slid to the ground against the side of the building, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes for a moment.  The short trip from the hospital outside had taken a lot out of him; enough that he even held off lighting his cigarette to give his aching body a rest.   However, it didn’t take long for his craving to win out.  With a trembling hand, he flicked his lighter and lit the tip, inhaling deeply, then expelling the smoke with a sigh of relief.

“Much better…” he murmured, his entire body relaxing as he took another drag.  Closing his eyes once again, he leaned back with his arms on his knees, fully enjoying the taste of the cigarette.  In fact, he was so relieved and relaxed that he failed to notice when two people joined him on the sidewalk.

“Feeling better?” one of them asked, and Inu-Yasha’s eyes flew open.  There were Sango and Miroku, sitting on his left against the building, chewing on cheeseburgers that, had he not been so annoyed by their presence, he would have pried from their fingers due to the tantalizingly irresistible smell.

“What the hell are you two bastards doing?” he growled, giving them the fiercest glare he could muster.  He would much rather get up and leave, but the trip outside left him utterly exhausted, and he doubted he even had the strength to stand.  “I thought I made it very clear that I don’t want to see your damned faces ever again.”

“We don’t have to do everything you tell us to,” Miroku replied lightly, carefully keeping his eyes on the road as he ate.  “We just wanted to enjoy our lunch outside, and you happened to be sitting in the prime spot.  That’s all.”

“There’s a bench down the street,” Inu-Yasha snapped back.  “Go sit there.  Just leave me be.”  Then he pointedly went back to his cigarette, trying vainly to ignore them.

Both remained suspiciously quiet for a little while after that.  In fact, Inu-Yasha was about to turn and yell at them again when a foil-wrapped burger was thrust under his nose.  As the mouth-watering scent of broiled beef, melted cheese, onion, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and ketchup drifted into his nostrils, he faintly heard Sango say, “Want one?”

Hell yes, he wanted one.  Now that his nicotine fix was taken care of, his empty stomach rumbled for its turn.  He hadn’t eaten more than the initial bite of the hospital food, finding it tasteless and inedible, and thus had gone for a week without food.  Granted, he often went that long without eating anything, but with his body was trying to recover from all he had put it through, he needed the extra energy.  So, when the juicy hunk of meat was placed in front of him, it took every inch of willpower to resist.

“No,” he said curtly, turning his head away as he tried to remind himself how furious he was with them. 
“I don’t want your pity, I don’t want your excuses, and I don’t want your damn sandwich!  Now leave me alone!!”

Sango cracked like an egg.  She could hardly stand to sit still in the first place, seeing her ill friend for the first time in a week, and to finally have the opportunity to speak to him about previous events while he was sober was almost more than she could bear.

“We will not leave you alone, Inu-Yasha!” she cried, slamming the burger to the ground in frustration.  “Don’t you get it?  We haven’t left you alone since that night!  No matter how many times you shout at us, yell at us, or curse us, we aren’t leaving you alone!  Now please, won’t you listen to what we have to say?!”

His cigarette dangling out of his open mouth as he stared at her in surprise, Inu-Yasha quickly recovered and brought back his glare, staring at her for a long moment as he thought. 

“Why should I?” he finally grunted, blowing out a cloud of smoke as he looked away.  “You’ve told me lies before, I don’t see why you’d suddenly change.”

“Inu-Yasha, please,” Miroku said softly, staring at the sidewalk.  “She’s been so upset about this.  Whether you choose to believe her or not, please just hear her out.”

With a disgusted scowl, Inu-Yasha fixed his gaze on the road, watching dully as cars sped past.  After waiting a few moments for her to speak, he finally snapped, “Well?”, making both of them jump in surprise.

“Look, I just…  I can’t tell you how much we’ve regretted sending you for that assignment,” she began slowly, her hands fidgeting on her lap.  “We knew going into it that you would be furious with us, but  we never expected…  well, all this to happen.  I mean, the hospital, your resignation…”

“If you knew I would be angry, then why did you do it?!” he snarled, pounding a fist on the concrete.  “Is it just because I was your best agent for jewel cases?  Hell, that idiot Koga could’ve handled that assignment!  Why did you send me?”

“Because we thought you could spare his life,” Miroku broke in quietly, trying to calm the demon down.  “You, unlike Koga, have compassion in your heart, which prevents you from just killing humans in cold blood.  Koga wouldn’t have thought twice about slaughtering that man.”

“That monster,” Inu-Yasha corrected, spitting the word out like it was foul.

“Our point is,” Sango continued in a wavery voice, “is that we didn’t know that he was too far gone to be saved.  We thought you would be able to save him.  But because we were missing that one piece of information, we caused all this, and for that we are truly…” Her voice broke, and she paused to swipe roughly at her eyes.  “…Truly sorry.”

Putting his arm around her shoulders, Miroku turned to the demon, who was looking very uncomfortable to see his superior weep in front of him.  “We never meant to hurt you that deeply, Inu-Yasha.  So, for all it’s worth, we’re asking that, if you won’t take our friendship back, at least accept our apology.  Please…”

Inu-Yasha shifted on the hard ground, feeling very awkward.  He almost felt foolish for being so furious with them when he realized how awful they felt over it.  However, it was still a difficult thing to let go.  His memory of Kikyo shooting him was still so vivid, so powerful…  He had many dreams haunted by Kikyo in his drunken slumbers in the days after the incident, dreams that often spurred the binge on as he desperately tried to forget.  It had been, on the whole, quite an unpleasant experience, and he was very cautious to become involved with the people who had purposefully brought it on.

But it was Sango and Miroku.  Sango and Miroku, the only people who, after Kikyo’s death, knew of the struggles he went through day-to-day.  The only people who were there for him as his life turned into a downwards spiral in the coming years.  The only people who stayed with him as he lost himself in bottle after bottle.  These were people worth staying by, and he knew that he couldn’t afford to lose them; he’d have nothing left if he pushed them away.

With a heavy sigh, he flicked his cigarette away and sat up a bit, looking at them out of the corner of his eye.  “Forgiven…” he murmured, “But not forgotten.  Not by a long shot.”

Miroku visibly relaxed, bowing his head.  “That’s more than we can ask for.  Thank you.  Thank you so much.”

“Ah, shut up.”  Turning to Sango, Inu-Yasha gestured at the slightly squashed burger still clutched in her hand.  “Are you gonna eat that?”

A small laugh of relief escaping her, she handed over the sandwich to his waiting claws, and the pair watched in amusement as he practically swallowed it whole, along with another cheeseburger and a carton of fries, finishing off the meal with a soda and another cigarette for dessert.  Then, though not very graciously, Inu-Yasha allowed them to help him to his feet, and together they made their way to the basement.

“So, I have to be honest,” Miroku said conversationally as the elevator doors slid shut.  “This meeting was not coincidence.  Miss Kagome was the evil mastermind behind it all, and thank goodness for it, right?”

“Hmph.”  Inu-Yasha leaned lazily against the wall.  With his nicotine fix taken care of and his belly full, the movement of the elevator didn’t faze him a bit this time around.  “That damn conniving nurse.  She should leave her nose out of our business.”

Sango shook her head.  “Say what you like.  I’m more than impressed with her performance.”

“Her performance?  Feh, you should fire her for what she does.  Meddling busybody…”

The elevator shuddered to a halt and the trio was deposited into the hospital.  Kagome immediately went to greet them, appearing quite eager as she approached the group.  Inu-Yasha, with a disgusted growl, brushed past, heading for his room.  “If you’re going to yap, keep it down,” he ordered over his shoulder.  The walk to and from outside had tired him out, and he wanted to rest.

“Well, he looks like he’s feeling better,” Kagome said once the door had shut behind the demon.  “That’s the most pleasant I’ve heard him be all week.”

“All thanks to you, my dear,” replied Miroku gallantly, catching her hand and bringing it to his lips.  “We owe—ohhh!!”

His compliment had been abruptly cut off when Sango crushed her heel into his foot and he found himself unable to speak, so she finished for him.

“We owe it all to you.  If not for you, that stubborn fool would still be snarling at us from the doorway.  But I think we’ve reached some sort of agreement now.  Things are much better.”

A broad smile crossed Kagome’s face.  “I’m so glad.  I don’t know what it was that he was so angry about, but I’m happy to see it’s resolved.  This whole thing was good for everyone: you two made amends, I know that Inu-Yasha’s eaten a proper meal for once, and he got cigarettes back.  Win-win-win.”

“Very true, very true.  Well, if you’ll excuse us, we really do need to get back to work.  There’s been an abnormal increase in the number of demon attacks recently, and we’ve got our hands full taking care of it.  But once again, thank you so much.”

“Of course, of course.  Come back and visit him anytime; he may just allow you in.”  Waving goodbye to the pair, Kagome couldn’t help but allow a small smile of triumph cross her face as she turned around and went back to her desk.  She couldn’t help but feel pleased about aiding in the resolution of an argument with a demon famed for his stubborn nature.  But more importantly, things were looking up for them all.

Cracking the door open to Inu-Yasha’s room, she peered inside, spotting him sleeping soundly on his bed, obviously tired out from the events of the day.  As she looked closer, she realized that this was the first time he slept with a peaceful expression on his face, rather than the pinched scowl he normally wore.

“See?” she whispered softly to him.  “I really do care…”

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Thank you to those who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 7: That Simple Nurse

“Inu-Yasha!” the demon heard Kagome call from the reception area.  “Your ride has arrived!  Don’t you want to go home?”

Stifling a yawn, Inu-Yasha finished tying his shoelaces, then slowly stood, groaning as his joints popped and cracked in protest.  Eight days had passed since he had first arrived at the hospital wing, half-dead from more than one type of poison in his veins.  Now he was fully healed and almost finished with the road to recovery.  A penetrating weakness still gripped his muscles, leaving them tight and stiff, but Kagome informed him that all he needed was time and rest, which he could get in the comfort of his own home.  So she had given him the all-clear, and the day had finally come where he could go home.  As he walked stiffly out of his room, he uttered a small sigh of relief; he couldn’t wait to escape the asylum-white walls of the hospital for good.  Eight days had been plenty long enough.

“There you are,” Miroku said, twirling his car keys around his index finger.  “You ready to go?”

Nodding, Inu-Yasha headed for the elevators, wanting to waste no time.

“Hold it.  Don’t you think you ought to thank Miss Kagome?  She put in a lot of hard work to get your health back.  Plus, dealing with you for eight days is a tremendous feat in itself.  I believe she deserves your gratitude.”

With a slight growl, Inu-Yasha muttered, “I’m not doing that.”

“Then I’m not giving you a ride.”

Glancing up at his friend to see if he was telling the truth, a snarl tugged at his lip when he realized Miroku was serious.  He needed the ride back to his apartment; he could probably make it there by himself, but then there was the daunting task of climbing seven flights of stairs.  He didn’t have the strength for both.  So, very grudgingly, he turned back to Kagome.  Without lifting his gaze from the floor, he opened his mouth to speak.

“Don’t force yourself,” Kagome said good-naturedly before he got a word out.  “You don’t seem to be the type to give out gratitude willy-nilly.  I’m just glad you’re doing better.”

“Mmph.”  Peering at her from under his bangs, his scowl lessened a bit, and he looked at Miroku once again.  “There.  Can we go now?”

Before Miroku could answer, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, depositing Sango into the hospital.  She quickly went over to them, looking quite relieved.  “Thank goodness.  I’m glad I caught you guys before you left.  Here.”  She passed a stack of neatly folded clothes over to the demon.  “It’s your clothes from the night we brought you in.  The cleaning lady practically killed herself getting the stains and smell out, but she finally managed to in the end.”

Reluctantly accepting the outfit, Inu-Yasha said, “You should’ve just thrown these away.  I was gonna buy new ones like I always do.”

“Hey…”  Kagome came up behind him, peering over his shoulder at the shirt that was on top of the pile.  “Do you have one of those pocket flashlights or something?”

Turning to give her a strange look, for the comment was quite odd and out of the blue, he replied slowly, “Uh, no…  Why?”

“Well, your shirt pocket is glowing.”  She pointed at the pocket on the shirt, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “I just assume that you have a light in there.”  Glancing around at everyone else, she realized that Sango and Miroku were mirroring the odd look Inu-Yasha was giving her.  With a slight frown, she asked, “What?”

“It’s not glowing,” Sango said, looking a bit concerned.  

“Yes it is.  There’s something lit inside.  Can’t you see it?”

“It ain’t glowing,” growled Inu-Yasha, beginning to grow irritated.  “Hell, there isn’t anything in there at all, see?” and he unbuttoned the pocket and stuck his hand inside to prove his point.  However, the annoyed expression on his face cleared when his fingers actually touched an object, and he carefully pulled out a jewel shard, the one retrieved from his horrible battle with the human.  In the trauma afterward, any thought of the jewel shard had escaped his mind, and his drunken escapades after that destroyed any possibility of remembrance.

“Huh…” he mumbled, holding out the shard for Sango to take.  “I guess I forgot about this after… well, yeah.”

Absently accepting the piece, Sango continued to stare at Kagome, deep in thought.  “Is this what was glowing?”

Kagome, now beginning to realize that something very odd what going on, slowly nodded.  “It still is,” she added softly, looking a bit uncomfortable.  “Is it not supposed to be?”

“Not necessarily,” Sango replied.  Turning to face Miroku, who was just as pensive as she, she instructed, “Get Inu-Yasha home and settled, and then come back here immediately.  We have some work to do.”

With a slight grin, Miroku nodded.  “Aye aye, captain.  Come along, Inu-Yasha.”

“Hang on.  I would like to speak with Inu-Yasha privately for just a moment, if you don’t mind.”  Kagome gestured for Inu-Yasha to follow her to a corner of the room, so Sango and Miroku huddled together to discuss this new piece of information.

“What?” Inu-Yasha snapped, growing quite impatient.  “I just want to go home; is that too much to ask, damn it?!”

Brushing his comment aside, for she was used to his spouts of temper by now, she began speaking in a quiet, calm voice, hoping to soothe his temper.  “I have a few instructions for you when you go home to help your strength return, that’s all.”

Scowling deeply, he gave her a pointed glare but clamped his mouth shut, waiting for her to continue.

Satisfied he wasn’t going to interrupt, Kagome smiled at him and started her list.  “First: sleep as much as you can.  Resting up will do wonders.  Don’t do any strenuous activity for a week or so, all right?”

He continued to glare stonily at her, so she shrugged and went on.  “Second: try and exercise a bit every day.  Nothing too strenuous, just a walk or the like.  It’ll help raise your energy level and help build your strength.  Also, try and eat three meals a day.  You seemed to have a habit of not eating at all, and that will only slow you down.”

“Anything else?” Inu-Yasha grunted mockingly, clearly eager to leave.

“Just one more,” she replied, smiling kindly.  “If you can, and I know this will be difficult, but try to refrain from drinking for at least a week.  You know firsthand how it can drastically worsen any medical problems.  We can’t really afford to take any chances.”

Inu-Yasha clamped his mouth shut, his glare increasing tenfold upon hearing this news.  He had already gone almost a week without his booze; how dare she ask him to go another?

Noticing how stiff he had become, Kagome stepped forward and took his hands in her own, lowering her voice.  “I know you can do it.  If you don’t, you may very well end up right back  here, and I know you don’t want that.  So just…take care of yourself.  I have faith in you.”  Giving his hands a quick squeeze, she moved away, letting him know that their conversation was done.

Though still angry, his glare lessened as he felt something in his hands as she walked away, and when he opened his fist, he saw that she had given him a sucker.  For a moment, he wasn’t sure if he should angry or not; a sucker was what was given to an unruly child to calm them down after a trip to the doctor’s.  However, when he glanced up and saw her smiling encouragingly at him over her shoulder, he sighed, and the tension seemed to seep out of his body.  Pulling the cellophane wrapper off, he strode over to the elevator and leaned against the wall, sticking the candy in his mouth.

“Ah.”  Seeing that they were finished, Miroku broke away from Sango and strode over to Inu-Yasha.  “Let’s get you home, shall we?”

“Hmph.  Finally.”  He turned and pounded the button on the elevator, climbing inside without a backward glance.

Kagome watched the demon leave, feeling a bit sad.  While eight days had at first seemed such a long, difficult stretch of time, she was frustrated that he had not stayed longer.  With more time, she felt she might have been able to improve his mental health, rather than just his physical health.  For most of the week he had been his cranky, irritable self, keeping his emotions locked up tight.  But once she had intervened on his fight with Sango and Miroku, he seemed to open up, if only slightly. At the very least, he had stopped being quite so rude to her, and perhaps, if she was not mistaken, almost tolerant of her presence.  With a bit more time, she may have been able to delve deeper into his emotions, possibly help him, but that hope was dashed as the elevator doors slid shut and took him away.

With a disheartened sigh, she turned back to Sango, who was staring expectantly at her.  “I take it,” she said tiredly, forcing her mind back to business, “that seeing that crystal glow is not normal?”

Sango shook her head.  “Not at all.  Do you know what this is?”  She held up the iridescent stone so Kagome could get a closer look.  “This is something that not everyone in the Order knows about; it’s one of our secrets that we keep close to the chest.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kagome crossed her arms and stared levelly at Sango.  “So why are you telling me this?  I’ve barely worked here more than a week.”

“No one in the history of the force has had the ability to see these jewel shards like you.  Well, no one except Kikyo, that is…”  Clearing her throat, Sango quickly continued with her explanation.  “This is a Shikon shard, a part of a sacred jewel that, when obtained, can drastically increase the user’s power.  It has been coveted by both demons and humans for many years.”

“Wait, wait—a part of a sacred jewel?  Where is the rest of it?”

“Ah.  That is the work of the Order.  We send out fighters to not only protect the city, but also to seek out any jewel shard we can.  Our main goal is to complete the jewel and purify it.  It will then disappear, and this bloody war for it will be over.  Inu-Yasha is usually sent out on jobs where we suspect jewel shards are involved, because he has the most experience with it.  It was stolen once or twice from our vault years ago, and he accompanied Kikyo to retrieve it.  With his brute strength and her ability to see the jewel through flesh, he was able to tear the jewel out in a single swipe, rendering the demon helpless.  They were quite the effective team.”

“But…”  Kagome frowned, a bit confused but eager for more information.  “When did this jewel shatter to pieces?  And didn’t Kikyo work for the demons?”

Sango sighed sadly.  “The last demon to steal the jewel from our grasp was Naraku.  With it, he gained monstrous power, more than any of our fighters could handle.  He was able to sway Kikyo to his side with it.  She double-crossed Inu-Yasha, sending him on a wild goose chase by pretending to sense the jewel on the opposite end of the city while Naraku gathered an enormous force of demons.  When Inu-Yasha finally figured it out, the battle for the city had already begun.  One thing led to another, and Inu-Yasha, when he attacked Naraku, struck the jewel with his claws and shattered it.  The pure force of that raw power being released sent the shards exploding in different directions, destroying Naraku and scattering the shards over the entire city.  Different creatures, human and demon alike, picked them up, and now it’s up to us to gather them all.”

“I see…”  Rubbing her head, Kagome asked slowly, “But what do I have to do with this?”

“Well, you can see the jewel’s glow.  With a bit of training, if you choose to accept it, your powers can be strengthened enough that you will not only be able to see the glow through any sort of material, but you’ll also be able to sense it from a mile away.  Such an ability is incredibly useful to the Order.”

With a frown, Kagome tapped her pen thoughtfully against her chin.  “I’m not sure I want to do this.  I did just start, and I’ve trained to be a nurse, not to be out on the field.”

“I understand.  It is an enormous task to ask of you.  However, I need to remind you that any demon or human who has obtained a shard gains power.  They often murder many innocent people before the Order can pinpoint them and send a fighter out to take care of it.  Lives could be saved if you choose to do this, Kagome.  And isn’t that part of your job as a nurse?  To save lives?”

“You really want me to do this, don’t you?”

Sango smiled sheepishly at her.  “This project has been going on for years.  We would love to end it finally.  It will be good for everyone, especially Inu-Yasha.  He knows it’s his fault the jewel shattered in the first place, and he’s always felt a certain amount of guilt for it.”

With a heavy sigh, Kagome nodded and set down her pen.  Unknowingly, Sango had clinched it when she mentioned Inu-Yasha, and now she needed no more convincing.  “All right…”

“Excellent.  I’m gonna go call Kaede right now.”  She started to stride towards the elevator, but turned back and gave Kagome a grateful look.  “Thank you.  Thank you so much.”

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

“Well, I have to admit, it’s nice to see you back on your feet,” Miroku began conversationally as they sat in the traffic of morning commuters.

“Whatever,” Inu-Yasha grumbled around his sucker, clearly uninterested.  “Wanna go grab a drink somewhere?”

Shaking his head in exasperation, Miroku shot down Inu-Yasha’s hope.  “Absolutely not.  A: it’s 9am, B: No bar or liquor store is open yet, and C: Kagome gave you specific instructions that you should wait at least a week before drinking again.  So, no, I don’t want to grab a drink somewhere.”

Growling softly, Inu-Yasha muttered, “And how do you know what she told me?”

“She told Sango and I first, while you were getting ready to leave.”

“Hmph.  Well, she told me that I should wait a week if I could.  And that isn’t gonna happen…”

“Kagome seemed to have the utmost faith that you could—“

“Just forget I said anything, dammit!”

Miroku glanced at the demon out of the corner of his eye; Inu-Yasha was strangely irritable for a day when he should be almost happy (for he was never actually happy), and he had the feeling that it wasn’t just the beginning of withdrawal symptoms.  In fact, he was most suspicious that whatever Inu-Yasha was annoyed about, it had something to do with the nurse left back at the Order.

As nonchalantly as possible, Miroku asked, “So, what do you think of Miss Kagome and her glowing jewel shard?  It’s not a common occurrence, that’s for certain.”

“Kikyo could see ‘em too,” Inu-Yasha replied with disinterest, staring out the window at the building flashing by.

“Yes.  Sango and I are hoping Kagome will submit to training.  With some luck, we’ll have an excellent shard-hunter with us, and the jewel will be complete in no time.  I know that it’s never that easy, but at least the process can be sped up.  Seven years is a long time to gather shards.”

“Well, she can’t do it,” Inu-Yasha said, his tone firm.  “She’s the only nurse that damn place has.  She can’t leave.  Besides, she just started here.”

“Good nurses are much easier to find than shard hunters.  I think we’ll be all right.”

Frowning deeply, the demon turned back to the window and remained silent for the rest of the trip.  Clearly, he did not like that news at all, and it did not go unnoticed by Miroku.

When they reached the apartment building, Inu-Yasha quickly got out, eager to get back to the solitude of his apartment.  However, before he disappeared inside the building, Miroku called out, “Sango and I will visit in a couple of days, all right?  Try and follow what Kagome told you to, and I’ll see you later!”

“Whatever.”

Miroku watched as Inu-Yasha went inside, feeling a bit depressed.  This felt just like any other time he brought the demon home from the hospital.  Inu-Yasha would fall back into his destructive habits within the day, and by the end of the week he and Sango would be constantly worrying about their friend once again.  With a sigh, he pulled away from the curb and headed back to headquarters.  He could only hope for the best, as he always did, and pray that Inu-Yasha might see just how sick he was.

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Miroku sighed boredly, tapping a pen on his unusually clean desk.  For some reason that they were trying to uncover, there had been next to no demon attacks in the past few days, and work at the Order was reduced to simply city patrols, nothing more.  He and Sango had sent out their informant to discover what was going on, for the quiet was uneasy, but he had yet to return, so they could do nothing but wait.

“How goes Miss Kagome’s training?” he asked conversationally, breaking the silence.  “How many days has it been now?”

Blowing her nose on a tissue before she could reply, Sango answered thickly, “It’s been four days, and she’s all ready done with training.  I don’t think even Kikyo picked up on her powers that fast.  We would test her in the field, but since there is nothing to test her on…”

“Unfortunate,” Miroku said, leaning back in his chair, “and confusing.  I’m beginning to be concerned over the lack of demon activity going on.”

“I think that ah… ah… ah-CHOO!!”  Sango sneezed so loudly that Miroku started in surprise, then stared at her in reproach as she soaked another tissue.

“You should be at home resting,” he informed her sternly, getting up and walking over.  “Why did you come in today?  I can handle things myself.”

“I didn’t want you to get swamped,” she replied stuffily as Miroku helped her out of her chair.  “And I’m not going home now, it’s not worth it.”

“Of course you’re not going home now.  How can I take care of you if you’re at home?  Now lie down.”  He brought her over to the couch that sat against the opposite wall and made her lie down, then he retrieved her coat and laid it over her as a blanket.  Taking his own coat, he rolled it up and tucked it under her head for a pillow.  “Better?” he asked, crouching down by the couch so she didn’t have to strain her neck.

Sniffing, she pulled the coat up and murmured, “You’re so bossy…”

With a grin, Miroku brushed a stray hair from her pale face and stood up.  “I am going to pick up some medicine.  Don’t move from this spot, all right?”

“Hmph.”  Still, she couldn’t help but smile as he brought the tissue box over and set it in her reach.

“I’ll have the secretary bring you some tea with honey on my way out.”

Just as he opened the door, he heard Sango whisper, “Thank you.”  His smile broadening, he disappeared into the hallway.

Whistling merrily, he made the short drive to the convenience store.  As he climbed out of his car, he shivered in the brisk October wind, but thought nothing of it.  Truthfully, he was glad for the chance to take care of Sango.  She always tried to be strong and show no weakness, and this made it difficult for him to prove that he was able to care for her; such an opportunity as this was not going to be wasted, and if he had to go without his coat, so be it.

“Hm?”  Shutting the door, he glanced up at the store and noticed someone sitting on the bench outside with some bags at their feet.  A closer look told him that it was Inu-Yasha, opening a carton of cigarettes.  “Hey, Inu-Yasha!  Look at you, out and about!”  He quickly jogged up and stood in front of the demon, crossing his arms to brace himself in the cold.

Glancing up at him from under his bangs, Inu-Yasha grunted his hello, pulling a cigarette out.  “Fool.  What are you doing without a coat?”

“Oh, Sango needed it.  So how are you?  Feeling better, I guess, since you’re out.”

With a sarcastic scoff, he flicked his lighter and attempted to light his cigarette.  However, he was having quite a bit of difficulty keeping his hands steady enough to do so; they would twitch and jerk, making it practically impossible to get the tip of the cigarette in the tiny flame.  A bit concerned, Miroku held the lighter still so Inu-Yasha could finally get the tip alight.

“…Thanks…”

As the demon took a drag, Miroku studied him carefully, and noticed that it wasn’t just his hands that were twitchy, but his entire body as well.  His arms and legs would spasm at random intervals, not violently, but enough that he could tell it irritated Inu-Yasha to no end.  “Are you all right?” he asked again, wanting a real answer this time.

“I’m fine,” Inu-Yasha growled, but when he looked at Miroku’s face, he saw that answer wouldn’t fly.  With a disgusted sigh, he grumbled, “I haven’t had a drink in four days.  I swear, this’s gonna kill me faster than the booze would.”

Miroku stared at him in surprise.  “Four days?” he repeated.  “That’s… wow.  I’m impressed.”

“Hmph.  I don’t care.  I’ve never been so miserable in my life.  I’ve had a damn headache for the past four days, and damn stomachache for the past three, and the shakes for the past two.”

“Well…”  Trying to keep a smile off his face, Miroku asked, “If it’s been so horrible, why didn’t you get a drink?  You never were one to follow orders, you know.  You could’ve raided your liquor cabinet or gone to the Tap any time.”

This earned him a glare.  “You were the one who yelled at me in the car on the ride home about getting a drink!  And besides, that nurse told me to wait a week…”

“Mmhm…  Tell me, do you do everything the nurse tells you to?”

Inu-Yasha sighed and took another drag of his smoke.  He normally would have gotten angry at such a comment, but he was too tired to bother this time.  “If she was able to get me back on my feet after that last go around, she must know what she’s doing…” he mumbled, looking almost embarrassed for saying such a thing.  That statement was dangerously close to a compliment, and he did not give those out easily.

Nodding, Miroku decided to change the subject before the demon did lose his temper.  “So…  What are you doing here?  I see you have some bags.”

Nudging one of them with his dirty sneaker, Inu-Yasha answered, “Cleaning supplies.  My apartment reeked when I got home; I got sick just walking inside.  In fact, I’ve spent the past four days scrubbing the place, trying to get the smell out.”  He shuddered at the thought.  “It was horrible.”

Not really surprised, Miroku added, “And a phone?  Did you get a new one?”

Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes.  “I don’t what the hell I did to my old one, but it was fried.  So yeah, I did.”  Growing bored, he stood up and made to leave, then swayed dizzily a moment and sat down again.

“Will you be able to make it home all right?” Miroku asked in concern, taking a step closer in case the demon needed assistance.

“Yes, yes…” Inu-Yasha grunted, waving him away.  “I’ll be fine in a minute…”

After studying him for a moment, Miroku said quietly, “How much longer do you think you’ll last?”

With a sigh, Inu-Yasha replied, “Let’s put it this way…  The Tap opens in three hours and twenty-seven minutes.”

“I see.”  Seeing how badly Inu-Yasha was shaking, he was prompted to offer, “If you wait just a couple minutes, and I can give you a ride home.  I just need to pick up one thing and I’ll be ready to go.”

Normally, Inu-Yasha would have immediately turned down the offer, never one to look weak.  However, this time he merely nodded and settled back on the bench to wait.

After picking up the cold medicine and dropping Inu-Yasha back at his apartment, both remaining silent through the ride, Miroku quickly returned to the Order’s headquarters and jogged up the stairs to the top floor, eager to discuss his meeting with Sango.

“Sango!  I have some wonderful news!”

She jumped in surprise at his abrupt appearance, nearly spilling her mug of tea all over her coat.  “Miroku?  What—“

“I just saw Inu-Yasha at the convenience store,” he interrupted, kneeling next to the couch and pulling the plastic off the medicine bottle while he talked.  “He looked horrible, and I found out it was because he hasn’t had anything to drink in four days.”

“Four day?  That’s impress—“  Sango tried to comment, but Miroku barreled on, clearly excited as he removed the measuring cup from the lid and twisted the cap to open it.

“I asked why he hadn’t, and he informed me it was because the ‘nurse told him to wait a week’.  Now, he certainly isn’t going to make it a week—in fact he told me he’d be at the Tap as soon as it opened—but the fact that he waited four days because Kagome told him to is wonderful!”  He poured out the medicine into the cup, a good deal more than necessary due to his excitement and handed it to her.

“Miroku.”  Sango took the cup and simply held it, not drinking from it.  Her stern tone immediately silenced him, and he looked sheepishly at her.  “Please.  I have a headache already.  Explain slowly—why is this so wonderful?”

“Oh, dear Sango, don’t you see?  Inu-Yasha listens to Kagome!  He trusts her!  Perhaps she can be the one to help him!”

“Oh, Miroku…” she sighed in disgust, rubbing her forehead.  “Don’t get your hopes up.  She’s only a nurse.  How would she be able to help him?  We sent him to the finest therapists, doctors, psychiatrists… you name it, he’s been to one!  And have any one of them ever helped him?  No.  Not a one.  So what, pray tell, is so special about Kagome?”

“You should have seen him, Sango.  He looked awful.  He was pale, he had the shakes…  He told me that abstaining from liquor was going to kill him faster than drinking would.  He said he had never been more miserable.  I asked him why he didn’t just drink, if he was so sick, but he said Kagome had told him not to.  He’s never obeyed any of the other doctors like that, has he?”

Sniffing, Sango snatched the bottle from his hand and poured some of the medicine back in it.  “I think you’re grasping at straws,” she replied. 

“Listen to me, please,” he said, taking the bottle and the medicine and setting it on the table beside her so he could take her hands in his own.  “You said so yourself: we’ve tried the finest doctors in the world, and none of them have helped Inu-Yasha.  So what can it hurt to try a simple nurse?”

“It can hurt Kagome,” Sango snapped back.  “I can tell, she wanted to help him.  She did what she could in the week she had, but I could tell that she wanted to do more.  But Inu-Yasha is so stubborn…  It would hurt Kagome terribly if she tried her hardest to help him get well, only to be crushed in the end.  I don’t want to do that to her.”

“Sango, please.  If Inu-Yasha is willing to trust her, and Kagome is willing to help him, then don’t you think that this might… possibly… work?”

Sango stared dubiously at him, his face so earnest and pleading.  She doubted she had ever seen him more honest than in this moment.  “You truly think she can help Inu-Yasha?” she asked softly, sniffling a bit.

“I do.  I really do.”

With a heavy sigh, she finally gave in, nodding as she looked away.  “All right.”

Kissing her forehead, Miroku climbed to his feet and headed for the door.  “I’ll go talk to Kagome right now.”

“Miroku?”

He stopped with one foot out the door, then poked his head back inside.  “Yes?”

Sango was looking up at him, as though she hardly dared to be positive.  “I hope she’ll be able to help him.”

He tried to smile encouragingly at her.  “Me too.”

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There we go.  Chapter seven.  I hope you enjoyed it!  Please, leave a review and let me know what you think.

Thanks to those who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 8: Challenge Accepted

“You cannot be serious,” Kagome interrupted, not allowing Miroku to even finish his sentence.  “You want to change my job again?!  How can you possibly do that?  You did not even allow me a full week on this new job before sending me somewhere else!  And I bet that this new task is even further from my primary study field of nursing!”  Little did Miroku know, he chose a dreadful time to bring up the topic of switching jobs to her.  Still miffed about losing her nursing job, she had been training for nearly four days straight to learn about her spiritual powers in order to do a new job that she did not want in the first place.  Her nerves were understandably stretched thin, and she had not patience to handle the prospect of yet another job to train for.

“Please, Miss Kagome, let me finish!” Miroku begged.  “You don’t even know what the job is yet!  It’s closer to your field!  In fact, it is your field!”

This made Kagome pause for a moment, for she had been quite ready to continue yelling at him.  “…Really?” she asked dubiously, still irritated.

“Yes!” He dabbed a bit of sweat from his brow, a little unnerved at the unexpected shouting that had greeted him.  “You will be a nurse, I swear.”

Crossing her arms, she regarded him carefully.  “What is this job, then?  How can I be a nurse yet not work down in the hospital?”

Relieved to see her calming down, Miroku lowered his voice to explain.  “Well…  You remember Inu-Yasha, of course.”

“Yes.  He’s rather difficult to forget.”

“Yes.  And you recall that he was not in great shape, even after his week here.”

“As a nurse, I’m trained to remember things like that.  Let’s see…  Alcoholism was the worst problem, among other things.”

Miroku was amused to see how her countenance had changed when he switched the topic of conversation to Inu-Yasha.  She was already much calmer, and had seemingly forgotten already her initial spout of temper.  Keeping a straight face, he continued.

“Yes, his drinking has been a major issue for several years.  It’s his way of life right now, and Sango and I are gravely concerned over it.  I’m sure that, as his nurse, you noticed the beginning of withdrawal symptoms during his past couple days at the hospital, and they only worsened once he went home.  However, I saw him just a little while ago, and he still had not drunk anything.  That’s a bit odd for one so advanced in alcoholism as he, wouldn’t you say?”

“Absolutely, yes.  He… he really hadn’t?”  Kagome seemed quite surprised, and there was a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth; she was happy to hear the news.

“Nope.  Granted, he informed me that he was counting down the minutes until the Tap opened, so I’m sure his sobriety won’t last much longer.  However, the point is, he went for several days without a drink, and he did it because of you.”

Kagome blinked, taken aback.  “I didn’t do anything.  I just told him to wait a week.  I never expected him to actually do it, though I certainly hoped he would…”

“Ah, but that’s just it.  You told him to do it.  Because you told him, he tried his hardest to obey.” Smiling down at her, for she seemed to be very flustered, he said, “You really made an impression on Inu-Yasha.  For him to be that miserable, and he most certainly was in utter misery, just because a nurse told him not to drink, he must trust you.  Not even Sango or I have that kind of sway with him.”

Swallowing hard and trying to remain professional, Kagome asked, “But what does this have to do with this new job you want to give me?”

“Well…  We would like for you to be Inu-Yasha’s personal nurse.”

Silence greeted his statement.  Growing a bit nervous by her unrelenting stare, Miroku hurriedly tried to explain himself.  “Sango and I have tried every kind of doctor, therapist, and psychologist to help him, and it has been like tossing stones at a brick wall.  Nothing has gotten through to him.  But you, with a simple suggestion, had our dear demon sober for four days.  We think that you might possibly be the one to help him, and…” He faltered, unsure of what else he could say to convince her.  “Please…  Sango and I are desperate.  It’s been seven years.  We’ve forgotten who the old Inu-Yasha was…”

Suddenly, Kagome took a deep breath and stood up straight, her hands balling into fists at her sides.  “I’ll do it,” she replied firmly, determination set in her face.  She had never dreamed she might actually be asked to accept such a task, but it was a task she had wanted badly.  Ever since seeing Inu-Yasha leave the hospital, she had regretted being unable to help him more.  There was a strange tug inside her that had compelled her to stay with him when he left, but she had resisted that urge, common sense keeping her in the hospital.  But now she had a second chance to offer her services to the troubled demon, and she was not about to waste such an opportunity.

“We’ve been working for so long—wait, what?”  Miroku, who had been trying so hard to convince her, almost didn’t catch her first acceptance.

“I said I’ll do it,” she repeated.  “But I have a question.”

“What?”  He was hardly able to contain his joy, and struggled to keep professional.

“Just what exactly does a ‘personal nurse’ do?”

Laughing, although more out of relief than anything else, he offered her his arm and led her from the room.  “Come up to our office, Miss Kagome, we’ll explain everything in full there.  With a bit of luck, we’ll have you to picking up Inu-Yasha at the Cornerstone Tap tonight.”

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“Hit me.”  As Iro obliged the somewhat slurred order, Inu-Yasha watched whiskey fill up the tumbler that had been his companion for the duration of the evening, a small grin on his flushed face.  This had been a most pleasant night spent at the Cornerstone Tap, despite how dreadful the day had been. 

By the time five o’ clocked rolled around and the Tap finally opened, he had been waiting outside the door for over an hour, glaring at passerby who stared and trying to keep his shaking under control.  He was unable to think of anything but the time and his forthcoming drink, and those two thoughts barreled around in his head like a freight train.  In retrospect, he was surprised he had not attacked some of those who had stared, for he had little to no control over his temper, and had been ready to fly out of his skin at the least suggestion.  To make matters worse, he was trembling so badly that he had been unable to light a cigarette, which only added to his troubles.  Thus, with his mind craving a drink, his body falling to pieces, and the prick of a needed nicotine fix on top of it all, he had been about ready to break down the door of the Tap when Iro arrived to save him from his suffering.

The first whiskey he had been given, which disappeared in a matter of seconds, was the sweetest drink he had ever had the pleasure of consuming.  A few more of those, each as sweet as the last, calmed his raging thoughts and slowed his trembling limbs, and he finally was able to have a smoke, completing his state of contentment.  And now, after close to four hours in the bar, he was still smiling, most likely due to the relief at finally achieving drunkenness after so long.

Iro, though slightly unnerved to see the usually morose demon so happy, was glad to see the demon looking better, although his features remained emotionless.  He had been reasonably concerned when he was greeted by a pale, quivering demon standing in front of his bar.  “Feeling better?” he asked gruffly, pulling a rag out from under the counter and wiping the bar off.

“Mm…”  Inu-Yasha slowly nodded, swallowing some of his freshened drink.

“So…  Why were you gone for so long?  I lost business without you, boy.”

“Th’ hospital.  I was… real sick.”  He felt clumsily in his shirt pocket for his cigarettes.

“You were real sick standing in front of my bar this afternoon,” Iro commented, giving Inu-Yasha a withering glare.  “I don’t think that hospital helped much.”

“Nah… That was diff’rent thing, th’ hospital.  But t’day… T’day was day four without any booze.  I didn’ like it that much…”  It seemed that the mere thought of going so long without liquor again made him a bit anxious, and he interrupted lighting his cigarette so he could take a gulp of his whiskey.

“Four days?  Well, quit doing that.  It’s bad for you, and it’s bad for business.”

“Sorry.”

It was then when another customer called Iro away from the bar, so Inu-Yasha was left to his own devices for a bit.  With his cigarette lit, he blew out a cloud of gray smoke and wrapped his hand around his tumbler, slipping into an alcohol-induced daze.  The grin on his face was slowly fading as his thoughts caught up with him; no longer focused on his next drink, he could address the feeling that had been tugging at him since he first entered the bar.

It was a odd feeling, although quite familiar the more he thought on it.  It put a damper on his strangely good mood, and even with four hours of whiskey shots floating around in his head, it took him but a minute to put a name to it: guilt.  But why?

He stared into his whiskey, his expression screwed up in thought.  He hadn’t felt this good in over two weeks.  Hell, he hadn’t enjoyed a drink this much in years.  So why was he feeling guilty?  Was it guilt for allowing himself of moment of pleasure?  Possibly.  He had been miserable for so long that pleasure was a rare occurrence.  But that idea was dashed when an image of the nurse  floated into his wandering thoughts.

Perhaps it was… No.  He shook his head roughly to try and shake the image away, but it didn’t falter.  Why was he thinking about her?  He didn’t think he had anything to feel guilty about concerning that damning nurse.  Well, she did instruct him to wait a week, and he had not quite made that.  But he had never expected himself to, so why was he getting upset over it?

With a soft growl, he polished off his most recent drink.  He shouldn’t bother wasting his time with her; he was never going to see her again.  Iro rejoined him at the bar, and he tapped his empty tumbler on the polished wood to signal for a refill, hoping a bit more whiskey might keep that nurse off the brain.

While waiting for Iro to retrieve a bottle, Inu-Yasha dimly heard the door open and shut in the background, a sign that another patron had entered.  He thought nothing of it; the Tap certainly wasn’t the most populous place in town, but a few businessmen filtered in and out for a drink during the night.  They never bothered him because of his obvious demon heritage, and if there were a few who actually recognized him as the ‘Savior of the City’, he could usually repel their attempts at autographs or conversations by a simple glare.  So when the newcomer came up straight to the bar and took a seat next to him, he stifled a groan and blew out a cloud of cigarette smoke, hoping to intimidate them right off the bat.  With any luck, they would leave before he ever had to look at them.

Iro, giving him a reproachful glare, asked the patron, “And what can I get for you, miss?”

Sipping his drink, Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow when he heard the slightly emphasized ‘miss’; women rarely frequented the Tap.

“Just a club soda, please,” she replied politely, and her voice cut through his whiskey fog like a beam of light.

As nonchalantly as possible, which as incredibly drunk as he was made him quite conspicuous, he peered at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to get a look at her face and confirm what his ears were telling him.  However, with his vision so poor after hours of drinking, he was forced to squint to bring her features into focus.

“Quit staring, boy,” Iro finally demanded, tapping the counter to get the demon’s attention.  “You’ll scare off my customers.

Starting at the sudden voice, Inu-Yasha quickly turned back to his drink, his already ruddy cheeks flushing even darker.  “Wasn’ starin’…” he mumbled, sticking his cigarette back in his mouth.

“Oh, so you don’t remember me?” the woman replied teasingly.  “It’s only been a few days, you know.”

His head came back up and he peered blearily at her, staring openly this time.  “So it is you,” he slurred.  “Kagome…”  It was the first time he ever said her name aloud, and he found that it rolled quite easily off his stuttering tongue.

“Good evening to you too, Inu-Yasha.”  She smiled prettily at him, then nodded her thanks to Iro when he set a club soda in front of her.

Watching with distaste as she took a sip, Inu-Yasha growled, “What’re you doin’ here?”

“Hm?”

He gestured vaguely at the glass in her hand with his cigarette, forcing her to cough and wave the smoke away.  “Why come to a bar an’ not get anything t’ drink?  That’s jus’ fizzy water you got there.  You should mix it with a li’l o’ this.”  He held up his own drink, waving it in front of her to emphasize his point. 

Kagome had to work to keep her surprise hidden;  Inu-Yasha seemed to be more than willing to start a conversation, but she was used to his silent treatment for her at the hospital.  It was difficult to react. 

“That’s an excellent idea,” she began, her smile never wavering.  “But I don’t think so.  I’m driving.  In fact, the reason I’m here is because Miroku mentioned that you might need a ride home this evening.  Since he is busy taking care of Sango, I thought I might offer my services.”

Inu-Yasha’s expression suddenly darkened when she finished her statement, and he scowled, clamping his mouth shut and turning away.  Confused at his mood change, Kagome leaned forward, trying to get his attention again.

“Inu-Yasha, what is it?  Did I say something wrong?”

“I know what yer tryin’ t’ do!” he burst out, slamming his fist on the counter and making his drink spill all over the bar top.  He took no notice of it and barreled on.  “But I’ll have ya know that I did th’ best that I could, dammit!  You don’ have t’ make me feel bad ‘bout it!  Four days’s close enough to a week!!  It still counts, got that?!”

“I-I-I…  Um, what are you talking about?”  She was genuinely confused, and Inu-Yasha started to falter.

“Well…  Aren’t you here t’ yell at me ‘bout not waitin’ a week before I started drinkin’ again?  I bet Miroku told ya all about it, that damn blabbermouth…  He told you I might need a ride home, but that’s jus’ ‘cause he’s too much of a coward to flat-out say it!  ‘Inu-Yasha needs a ride home ‘cause he’ll be too damn drunk t’ make it himse—‘”

“Hey, hey,” Kagome said soothingly, interrupting him before he worked himself up again.  “That really wasn’t what I was planning to do at all.  I promise.  In fact, I wanted to congratulate you on it.  Staying sober for four days was no easy task, was it?  I’m very proud of you.”

Inu-Yasha blinked stupidly at her, his anger disappearing in an instant when he heard those last five words.  After expecting  a defensive reply from her, he was unprepared for words of praise, and couldn’t think of a retort.

“Uh…”  Flushing from embarrassment and at a loss for words, he turned back to the bar and groped for his glass, hoping to avoid the uncomfortable situation with a stiff drink.  However, Iro had taken away the spilled cup and wiped off the bar during their conversation, so Inu-Yasha was now fumbling around in confusion.  “Where is it?” he mumbled, squinting up and down the bar.

“I took it away,” Iro grunted shortly, a little irritated by the demon’s behavior.  “If you’re spilling drinks because you’re throwing a fit, I think you’ve had enough.”

Glaring at him, quite affronted, he growled, “I wasn’ throwin’ a fit!”

Iro turned to Kagome, who was watching the scene with an amused smile on her face.  “Did I hear you correctly when you said that you had come to give him a ride home?”

“You did.”

“Then get him outta here.  Please.”

“Absolutely.”  Setting her barely touched club soda back on the bar, she stood and took Inu-Yasha’s arm, gently tugging it to get his attention.  “Come on.  Let’s get you in bed; you’re starting to fade.”

Sighing in irritation, Inu-Yasha snubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray then pulled out his wallet to pay the bill.  With one final glare at Iro, he stood up, muttering, “I am not fading—ooh.”  He abruptly sat down again when the room did a 360.

Kagome, after waiting a moment so he could get his bearings, tugged his arm once more and he carefully got to his feet, leaning heavily against her as the room dipped and spun again.  “Everything’s spinnin’ round an’ round…” he mumbled.

“Don’t worry,” she replied brightly, leading him to the door.  “A little sleep will take care of that.”

“Mmph.”

They made it to her car without incident, and Kagome carefully eased him into the front seat and buckled his seat belt before climbing in the driver’s side herself.  As she turned on the ignition and pulled out onto the road, she glanced over at her passenger, who was being unusually quiet, and saw that his eyes were closed and his face was tense—no doubt the movement of the car was making him more off-balance than just walking.

Good thing I asked Miroku for directions to his apartment… she thought, turning her attention back to the road.

His apartment was a short trip away from the bar, and they arrived in just a few minutes.  Kagome quickly climbed out and went around to the other side, opening the door and gently shaking the demon.  “Inu-Yasha…” she said softly, “We’re here.  Come on.”

Cracking he eyes open, he peered out at the building, then sighed and slowly got out, accepting Kagome’s support without complaint.  While he did not like accepting help from others, he also did not like the queasy sensation he got when everything in his vision spun like a top, and her aid helped to steady the nauseating motion.

“Now…” she began once they were inside, glancing around with distaste at the dingy lobby.  “Which floor do you live on?”

“Seven,” he muttered.

“Ah.  All right then, where’s the elevator?”

He waved a hand off towards the right, not moving his gaze from the floor.  When Kagome glanced over where he indicated, her heart sank.  The rusted metal doors were blocked off with yellow caution tape wrapped around two construction cones.  “It’s… under construction?”

Nodding slowly, he said, “’Sbeen that way for years…  Landlord’s a damn cheapskate…”

Stifling a groan, Kagome turned towards the staircase.  It was going to be a long trip up.  However, she set her jaw and adjusted her grip around the demon’s waist.  “All right.  Let’s get moving.  You need to be in bed.”

“Mmhm…”

It was a long and exhausting trip for Kagome, half-dragging a man who was a foot taller and several pounds heavier than herself up the stairs.  Inu-Yasha was unable to help much; his depth perception was seriously skewed, and he tripped quite often, emitting a growl every time he almost brought both himself and Kagome down.   There was also the oncoming state of unconsciousness that was lurking in the shadows, threatening to rear its ugly head at any moment. 

Finally, two stories away from their goal, Kagome had to stop at the landing, leaning Inu-Yasha against the railing and sinking to the floor, panting from exhaustion.  She couldn’t recall working so hard physically for quite some time.  Climbing seven flights of stairs was a feat in itself, and with over one hundred pounds of dead weight added to that made the climb even worse.

Surprised when they suddenly stopped, Inu-Yasha blinked and peered around, realizing where they were.  Looking for Kagome, he saw her hazy figure on the ground, so he slid to the floor himself, and found he liked it much better there.

For a few moments they sat quietly, the only sound being Kagome’s labored breathing.  It was strange, she thought while they sat together, how comfortable he was in her presence.  She had never seen him quite like this at the hospital.  Obviously, alcohol played a large part in his demeanor at the moment, but even the constant tension that permeated his body at the hospital was gone.  Now he was resting against the rail with his head leaning back and his eyes shut, looking quite relaxed.

“Hey.”

She jumped at the sudden noise, and soon realized that he was now peering fuzzily at her, waiting patiently for her to notice.  “U-um…  Sorry, what is it?”

Hesitating a moment, he said slowly, “Why did you say that t’ me?”

“Say what to you?”

“At th’ hospital.  After you let me have a smoke.  I went into my room t’ sleep, an’ then you came in an’ said, ‘See, I really do care’.  Why’d you say that?”

Kagome flushed from embarrassment.  “Oh, I-I thought you were asleep by then…”  He was staring relentlessly at her, and she squirmed under his gaze.  “Well…  You had said earlier that I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about you, and that I was just pretending.  I just wanted to show you that I really did care.  You were having a lot of trouble, and I didn’t like seeing you like that.”

“…Oh…”  Silence took control of the conversation for a minute as he thought.  Finally he asked, “Is that why you were there tonight?”

She smiled a little at the thought of her new assignment.  “Partially.  We’ll discuss that at a later time.”

He blinked sleepily at her, then murmured, “Oh,” again and leaned his head back against the rail.

Figuring she had rested long enough and worried that he might fall asleep if they lingered too long, she got to her feet and walked over, taking his hand and giving it a tug.  “Come on.  Two flights to go, and then you’ll be home.”

Cracking one eye open, he peered at her, then mumbled, “I’ll jus’ stay here…”

Her smile broadening, she strengthened her pull on his arm.  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.  Whoever lives on this floor will open their door tomorrow and find a sleeping demon on their doorstep; they might not take kindly to that.”

He was able to drag both eyes open at that thought.  “Th’ old hag’s vicious with her cane…” he growled, laboriously climbing to his feet.  “I’ve got scars from th’ last time that happened…”

Raising an eyebrow, she decided not to pursue the matter, and instead concentrated on getting him up the last two flights of stairs.  The last leg seemed to take twice as long as the first, but at last they arrived at Inu-Yasha’s door.  Sighing in relief, she brought him inside.

“Finally…” he said, attempting to pull away from her as they walked by the sofa.

“Hey, hey, where are you going?” she asked, holding firm.

Looking at her with mild surprise, he replied slowly, “Uh… th’ couch?  ‘Swhere I always sleep.”

“Well, not tonight.  Sleeping on a bed is much healthier.  It gives you a more restful sleep, which is just what you need.”

“It’s farther away…” he moaned as she pushed him onward. 

The trip did take a little longer, for he refused to tell her which door led to his bedroom, so she had to open each door.  After admiring the décor of his bathroom and a closet, she finally came across his bedroom.  “Here we go.  Come on.”

He did not need to be told twice.  Breaking away from her, he took two steps then fell face-first onto his bed, not to move again until the next day.  Smiling gently at his haphazard way, Kagome went and retrieved a thin blanket from the closet she had discovered in her earlier pursuits.  Tucking it in around him, she quietly shut the door behind herself, then went back into the living room.

A great sigh escaped her now that her patient was safely asleep in another room.  She had been incredibly nervous on her way to the Cornerstone Tap; it was her first task as Inu-Yasha’s personal nurse, and she was unsure of how well she could handle it.  Dealing with drunkards was not something she had ever had to do, but Miroku seemed to think she could handle Inu-Yasha just fine.  It turned out she could, but doubt still lingered.

He was a half-demon, with a short fuse, a strong temper, and an even stronger will.  Just because this first night went smoothly did not mean anything for later times.  Also, she had no official training as a personal nurse.  Miroku did not consider that an issue, but she was concerned that she may make a mistake with Inu-Yasha, and with one so deep in addiction as he, a mistake could be fatal.

Taking a deep breath, she stood up straight, setting her jaw.  “Get a hold of yourself, Kagome,” she told herself sternly.  “This was just the opportunity you wanted.  Lack of confidence will get you nowhere.  Just do what you feel is best for Inu-Yasha, and things will turn out just fine.”

Nodding firmly, she strode out of the apartment, eager to get home and put together her next plan of action.  This patient was a tough one, and it was going to take careful planning to come up with the best course for the unsuspecting demon, sleeping soundly in the next room.

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Thank you for reading!  I know there wasn’t much of Sango and Miroku in this chapter, but not to worry, there will be the next time.  Anyway, please leave a review, I would love to know what you think.

Thank you to all who reviewed!! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 9: The Nurses

Inu-Yasha’s consciousness came riding in on the backs of the elephants stampeding around his skull, bringing him into a harsh world of bright lights and obnoxious sounds.  Despite the fact that his room was dark and the shades were drawn, every scrap of natural light that bled through the thin fabric seemed to be attracted to his bloodshot eyes, and he squeezed them shut in a futile attempt to block it out.  Then there was the damning rain that beat a steady rhythm against the window, making his temples throb in time with the patter.  And every time a car drove past on the sodden street below, it was like a thousand needles embedding themselves in his head.  Uttering a low moan, he buried his head under the pillows to escape the horrors of consciousness.

After several minutes of lying absolutely still, he slowly pulled his head back out as he grew accustomed to the noise, the throbbing pain in his temples receding a bit.  Finally able to form a thought, he peered around, growing confused.  He had little memory of the night before, but, even in his somnolent state at the moment, a couple of things did not add up.

The fact that he was in his bed was unusual.  The only time he slept in his bed was when he ended the evening mildly sober, and was able to make it to the bedroom with little difficulty.  However, judging from the severity of his hangover, he had far over-indulged his need for drink the night before.  So why did he bother the perilous trip down the hall when sleeping on his couch was far more convenient?

Oh, wait.  The Tap.  He vaguely remembered entering the Tap earlier the day before.  What he could not remember was leaving the Tap.  Was he able to walk home?  Or did Miroku give him a ride?

With a slight growl, he tossed the covers off and slowly sat up, shaking his head.  All that thinking was only making his head hurt worse, and that was the last thing he needed now.  He could puzzle out the details of the previous night later.  Growling softly, he stumbled out of the room, keeping a hand over his eyes to block out the hated light.

oOoOo

“I know it’s only been a week, Mom,” Kagome continued to argue into her cell phone, trying to keep her voice soft so she wouldn’t disturb the sleeping half-demon down the hall.  She had arrived at his apartment early the next morning so she could prepare for the task that lay ahead, and now sat comfortably at his kitchen table, waiting for him to drag himself out of his whiskey dreams.  However, it had already been three hours since she had arrived, so she called her mother to help pass the time.  Being very close to her mom, she told her all about her past week at the Order, and her newest job in complete confidentiality, but her mother’s reaction  was not quite what she had expected.

“I’m just concerned that this organization you’ve gotten yourself mixed up in is taking advantage of you!” her mother replied, concern clearly evident in her voice.  “This is the third job they’ve given you, and from what you’ve told me, you’ve had very little say in the matter.  Are you sure this is where you need to be?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation.  “He needs help, and his friends are certain that I can give him what he needs.  Plus, he seems to tolerate my presence better than most others, so…”  She had hoped that would get a laugh out of her mother, but Mrs. Higurashi’s worries were not abated.

“Yes, but…  Well, he’s a half-demon, dear.  More than that, he’s an alcoholic.  I’m just afraid that if he loses control during a drunken period and turns his demon strength on you…”

“Believe me, I’ve thought about that more times than I care to admit.  And the prospect does frighten me.”  She had, in fact, tossed and turned all night long as such thoughts continued to pop into her head.  “But…”  With a sigh, Kagome lowered her voice.  “You should have seen him when he first came into the hospital, Mom.  He looked so horrible…  And for him to do that to himself means that he needs help.  He has no friends outside the Order, and his only two friends inside the Order are the first- and second-in-command—they haven’t the time to give him the assistance he needs.  But I do.  They’ve already found a replacement nurse for the hospital, and my… er, other job has plenty of flexibility with the schedule.”  She was sworn to secrecy concerning her shard-hunting duties, unable to tell even her own mother.

“My point is, I’m the only person who can help him right now.  His friends are at the end of their rope; I think they’re just waiting for someone to find Inu-Yasha’s body in an alley somewhere.  Wouldn’t you—hang on.”  She abruptly stopped speaking when the sound of Inu-Yasha low growls reached her ears, and she realized he had finally dragged himself to consciousness.  Staying quiet for a moment, she listened for any sign of him coming closer, but it soon became apparent he had business in the bathroom first, so she let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.

“I need to go, Mom.  He just got up.  It’s time to start being a nurse.”

A heavy sigh was heard from the other end. “Just… be careful, Kagome.”

“I will.”

This brought a smile to Kagome’s face, and the comment helped to boost her confidence.  She did love her mother quite a bit, and with good reason.  “Thanks, Mom.”

Once she shut her cell phone, she quickly bustled around the kitchen, preparing for the moment when Inu-Yasha would grace her with his presence.  Once she turned the coffeepot on, put two slices of bread in the toaster and pushed the lever down, poured herself a cup of tea, and snagged the newspaper, she settled herself back at the table and opened the paper.  Then, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, she took a slow sip of tea and started to read.

oOoOo

After scrubbing his teeth to rid his mouth of the fuzzy taste that accompanied a hangover and then relieving himself, Inu-Yasha stumbled down the hall, eager for something to drink from the kitchen.  He had already begun his daily debate on whether to start his day with coffee or whiskey when he emerged into the kitchen, then reeled back from the barrage of light attacking his eyes.

“Aah…” he groaned clutching his head and his headache pounded tenfold.  “Dammit…”  Waiting a few moments with a grimace as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light, he finally lifted his head and peered into the kitchen—then stopped dead.

There was a woman at his table.  A woman.  She was reading his newspaper and drinking from one of his mugs.  And she did not seem nearly as surprised to see him as he was to see her.  He stood in the doorway for several moments like an idiot, his mouth agape as his foggy mind tried to come up with a solution for having a woman in his kitchen.

The woman, glancing up from the newspaper, smiled kindly at him.  “Good morning,” she said quietly, and from her voice he was finally able to recognize her as Kagome.  “How are you feeling?”

“Uh…  What are you doin’?” he asked, saying the only coherent thought that was floating around his aching head.  He barely heard the question she posed to him.

“Oh, um, I was just browsing the paper.  I’m sorry for going through it first, but I figured you wouldn’t be awake for awhile, so I just went ahead.  I hope you don’t mind.”

Leaning heavily against the doorjamb, he shook his head, trying to clear it.  “What are you… doin’ here?”

With a slight laugh, Kagome quickly got up and went over to him, taking him by the arm and leading him to a chair.  “Here, I think you need to sit down.”  Once he was seated and staring at her with the same confused expression, she retrieved a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water.  “Drink this,” she said, handing it to him.  “It will help ease your headache.  I’ve also got a pot of coffee brewing, and there’s toast in the toaster.  I’m sure your stomach is upset, but some dry toast will help that.”

Taking the glass but not drinking, he stared at her as she down across from him.  “Why have you done all that?  Why are you even here, dammit?”  He seemed to be steadier sitting down, and was able to get over his surprise.  “Have you been followin’ me or something since I came home from the hospital?!”

“Uh, no…”  A little hesitant, due to his odd reaction by her presence, she said slowly, “Miroku asked me to give you a ride home last night, that’s all.”

“Oh…  That explains a bit…”  Quite relieved to hear there was a reasonable explanation, he sighed and rested his head in his hand, wishing the pounding would dissipate.  He had to admit, despite his initial shock, he really was not too upset to see her.  In fact, he was almost glad, not that he would ever say it aloud.  “Well… why the toast and coffee and stuff?  You shoulda just dumped me at the door and left…”

Swallowing hard, for it seemed the moment had come, Kagome nervously cleared her throat and replied, “It’s my job to take care of you.  I can’t very well just leave you unconscious in front of an apartment building and say that I’ve done my job, can I?”

“Hmph…”  For a moment, it seemed he hadn’t heard, for he was drinking deep from the glass of water, his thirst finally winning out.  However, he abruptly set the glass down, looking confused.  “Wait, what do you mean by that?  It ain’t your job anymore.  I’m out of that godforsaken hospital.”

“Actually, it is my job.  Sango and Miroku have reassigned me to be your personal nurse.  I’m now going to be taking care of you, for as long as you need taken care of.”

Dead silence greeted her statement.  Inu-Yasha stared incredulously at her, clearly trying to decipher if she was joking or not.  “…Are you serious?” he grunted, rubbing his forehead.  “’Cause Sango and Miroku have played stupid pranks like this on me before.  I thought I taught them their lesson the last time…”

Nervously clearing her throat, for his last comment had a decidedly ominous tone to it, she replied, “This isn’t a joke.  Sango and Miroku believe that you are unable to properly take care of yourself, and so they’ve hired me to help.”  Her anxiety increased when she noticed that he stopped massaging his forehead and shut his eyes, becoming perfectly still except for one muscle throbbing in his cheek.  “They, um… they noticed that you did not hate me quite as much as other nurses you had been aided by previously, so they figured it was worth a try…”

“Oh, shut up,” he growled through clenched teeth.  “Stop giving excuses for them.  They know I hate--ah, dammit!”  Pounding his fist on the table, he lurched to his feet and whirled around to stare at Kagome, his bloodshot eyes making his gaze all the more fierce.

“You listen to me,” he snapped.  “I don’t know how much you’ve been chatting with Sango and Miroku, but you need to stop it now.  They don’t know what the hell they’re talking about concerning me, so I’m gonna set things straight: I don’t need help.  I don’t need their help, and I especially don’t need your help.  Now get the hell outta here.”

She was half-tempted to obey; his anger seemed to be growing the longer he stood there, and he made quite the impressive figure.  The fact that he was a good foot taller than her gave him dominance in the tiny kitchen, and there was a wild look in his eye that warned her of an oncoming explosion if she did not remove herself from the situation immediately.

However, though it was difficult to keep her legs from trembling and to suppress her instinct to run, it was simple to think back to his time in the hospital, when he lay pale and weak on the bed, his breathing raspy and labored.  It was also not a trick to recall the night before, when he was hardly able to walk on his own, or even to keep awake long enough to make it home.  Thoughts like this made her stand up straight and cross her arms, looking him in the eye.

“What Sango and Miroku tell me are of little importance,” she told him matter-of-factly.  “I don’t need them to tell me that you need help; I’ve figured that out on my own.  I’m here of my own volition, Inu-Yasha.  I had every right to turn down this job offer, but I took it, and I took it to help you.  You have to understand that.”

“No, I don’t !” he snarled back, finally losing control.  “All I need to understand is that you’re here, and I don’t want you here!  Get the hell out of my apartment!!”

A lump rising in her throat, Kagome held her ground.  “No.  I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you here!” he roared again.  “I don’t need some damn nurse hovering around, sneering every time I take a drink, hiding my cigarettes so I don’t smoke, forcing me to eat when I don’t want to—Dammit, just leave me alone!!  A nurse isn’t gonna help a damn thing!  Hell, did it even occur to you that maybe I don’t even want any help?!  Maybe I like waking up with a hangover every morning!!  Maybe I like being alone all the time!  Maybe I—“  He abruptly stopped shouting when Kagome, who had quickly grown tired of his tirade, slapped him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

Rubbing the offended area, he glared at her, a bit surprised.  “What the hell was that for?!”

“You were growing hysterical,” she replied drily, setting the paper back on the table.  “I can’t take people seriously when they’re hysterical.”

Baring his fangs, he shouted, “I’m not hysterical, dammit!  I just don’t—“  Suddenly, he clamped his mouth shut and stared at her, growing pale.  His head had just given a particularly nasty throb and his stomach started to churn restlessly from the high stress level he had reached with his outburst.  With a choked groan, he lunged for the sink, and Kagome found herself holding his long hair out of the way and rubbing his back as the previous night’s indulgences came up.  As he went about his business, she shook her head at the odd situation.  She had gone from being anxious, to terrified, to irritated, and then to caring, all in the course of a few minutes.

“Come on,” she said in tiredly once he had finished and was simply hunched over the sink, panting for breath.  Leading him by the hand, she brought him into the living room, where he collapsed on the couch with a moan, covering his eyes with an arm. 

“Damn hangover…” he groaned hoarsely, having seemingly forgotten his tirade. 

Even Kagome forgot her previous fear; seeing Inu-Yasha in such discomfort brought her nursing side forward.  She quickly bustled into the kitchen and filled a bowl with cold water, then grabbed a washcloth and brought it back into the living room.  Drenching the cloth, she wrung it out, then carefully removed his arm and laid the cloth over his eyes and forehead.  Inu-Yasha gave a low whine of pleasure at the soothing coolness of the water on his aching head.  The tension in his body dissipated at the sensation of relief, and his pinched expression eased as he was finally able to relax.

Smiling slightly at his limp form, Kagome returned to the kitchen; there was an opportunity here to get on his good side, and she was not about to waste it.  The night before, in anxious preparation for this day, she had scoured her old medical school books, searching for hangover cures, and had arrived at his apartment armed with several tactics.  Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a box of baking soda and mixed a spoonful in with a full glass of water.  Then she pulled the toast from the toaster and set it neatly on a plate, and finished her routine by filling a mug with rich, black, coffee.  After a quick search in his kitchen, she found a tray hidden away in a cabinet and loaded the items on it, then returned to the living room.

As she took a seat in the armchair by the couch, she saw that he had barely moved in the short time she was gone; clearly the cool compress was doing its job of relieving his headache.  “Hey…” she said softly, slowly lifting the rag off his eyes.  Dragging his eyes open, he peered at her, unhappy with the interruption.  Without giving him the chance to speak, she held out the glass of water.  “Drink this.”

Surprising her, he put up no resistance.  Merely scowling, he snatched the glass from her hand and drained it thirstily, then grimaced at the taste when it was empty.  “What the hell was that?” he growled, glaring at her.

“Water and baking soda.  It will help with your nausea.”

His eyes narrowed.  “How do you know that?  I’ve never heard of that.”

Giving him a thin smile, she replied, “I really don’t think you want to get into a deep medical discussion right now, do you?  How about you just take my word for it.  Now here.”  Once again leaving him no opportunity to argue, she passed on the plate of toast.  “You need to eat that.”

“No.  I just puked my guts out, why the hell would I want to eat something?”  Sniffing in her direction, he snapped back, “Just gimme the coffee.”

Kagome hesitated; the bread would help him feel better, of that she was certain.  However, she did not want to start an argument all over again and lose what progress she had already made with him.  So, stifling a sigh, she passed along the coffee and then leaned back in the chair, keeping the toast balanced on her lap should he change his mind.

For a few minutes they sat in a tense silence, Kagome nervously flicking her gaze over now and again at Inu-Yasha as he carefully sat up and took a few sips of coffee.  He appeared to be pleased with it—she had made it strong enough to keep him awake for hours—and he settled back into the couch, placing the damp rag back over his eyes once more to help his headache. 

Finally, when he finished the coffee and placed the empty mug on the side table, Kagome cleared her throat and asked quietly, “Are you feeling better?”

“Hmph.”  It was his way of avoiding the word ‘yes’, she quickly figured out.

A cocky smile tugging at her lips, which he fortunately did not see due to the compress over his eyes, she added, “Maybe I’m some good having around after all.”

“…Feh.”

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“I still don’t think it was a good idea,” Sango sniffled, shuffling into the kitchen in her robe and slippers.

“Sango, my dear, we have been over this…” Miroku replied with a hint of exasperation, following after her like a puppy.  “You know as well as I that things have been slow at the Order; I told the secretary to call me should anything arise, and my phone has not rang once!  Why do continue to believe that this was a bad idea?”

“It is not smart for both heads to take leave on the same day,” she insisted, pouring more hot water into her empty mug.  “I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you know.  I don’t need you to hover over me like my mother.”

“I just need to make certain that you’re doing what you should be, that’s all,” Miroku said stoutly, unashamed.  “You tend to make yourself busy as much as possible, and when you have a cold is not the right time to do that.  Did I not walk in on you running the vacuum cleaner this morning when you should have been resting?  A cold won’t cure itself, you know.”

Blowing her cherry-red nose in a tissue, she mumbled thickly, “The floor needed cleaning…”

“If it needs cleaning, then I shall be the one to do it.  Now shoo, back onto the couch.  I’ll finish fixing your tea.”

Rolling her eyes in disgust and irritation, Sango left the kitchen and returned to her couch, which Miroku had made into a makeshift bed.    A fluffy white pillow rested against an arm, while bundles of quilts were wadded up over the cushions for maximum comfort.  Snagging a tissue, she sat down with her legs curled up underneath and pulled a thick quilt up. 

Leaning her head back, she moaned softly from the pressure in her sinuses which left her with a pounding headache.  She closed her eyes and massaged the bridge of her nose, praying the pain would dissipate with the simple action, but it continued to linger, making her utterly miserable.  For what felt like the thousandth time that day, she blew her nose in the tissue, then tossed it in the paper grocery bag that Miroku had left by the couch for her convenience, sniffing pathetically.

“Now, now…” Miroku said as he bustled in with a fresh mug of tea in one hand and a glass of water and two pills in the other.  “Not to worry, I’ve brought your medicine—no wonder you were starting to feel worse, we missed your last dose by an hour!”  Once she swallowed the pills, he then handed her the tea, adding, “A half a teaspoon of honey, just the way you like it.”

With that taken care of, he went around in front of the couch and tucked her blankets around her before plopping down on the cushions himself.  He picked up the remote and turned the television on.  “What do you want to watch?”

He started in surprise when he suddenly felt Sango lean against him, resting her head on his shoulder.  He tried to hold back a satisfied smile; she must really be sick if she would put down her defenses so easily.  “Sango?”

“I don’t care…” she muttered sleepily, pulling the quilt up over her shoulders.  “Whatever you like…”

“I-I…  All right…”  Then, almost as though he were testing her, he gingerly put his arm around her shoulders, and was pleased to see that she did not reject it.  In fact, she snuggled in closer to his warm body and sighed softly in comfort.  Fairly proud of himself, he started to flip through the channels.

The two sat in comfortable silence for a long while, Sango dozing against him as he stared at the screen, hardly believing his good luck.  Two days of diligent caretaking had finally paid off.

“Miroku…” Sango murmured after several minutes, not even opening her eyes.

“Yes?” he asked quietly.

“I’m too tired to deal with this, so would you please remove your hand from my bottom?”

“Oh!”  He quickly pulled his hand back up to her shoulder, for it had indeed wandered downwards.  “Sorry.  Force of habit.”

“Mm.  I’ll bet…”

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Thanks so much for reading.  Please leave a constructive review; I love

to hear what you think!

Many thanks to those who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 10: The Demon Behind the Barrier

“Miroku, come over here,” Sango said, staring at a piece of paper in her hands.  “This is a job print-out from the past month.”

“Oh?  And what does it say?”  He immediately abandoned his own desk to stand behind her chair, getting a good deal closer than he needed to.  This earned him a glare from his superior, to which he returned an innocent smile, and then focused his attention on the paper.

Still frowning at his behavior, Sango pointed at the chart.  “We’ve had literally NO demon attacks for the last two weeks.  Our patrols have come across nothing, Kaede  hasn’t sensed any hostility, Koga can’t find the scent of any demon except our own…  The only problem is the fact that our informant hasn’t returned from his mission yet.  Why do you suppose—“ She interrupted herself to slap at his hands, which had begun to wander too far.  “Why do you suppose that is?  Do you think he’s found a lead on something?”

“Possibly.  But he usually keeps us informed on the proceedings—that is his job, after all.  However, it’s been about two weeks since we sent him out to find the body of that centipede, and he’s much more efficient than that.”

With a worried grunt, Sango nodded in agreement and began to shuffle through papers on her desk, finally pulling out a list of every demon under their employ.  “We need to send someone after him.  It’s been far too long.  We grew complacent.”

“Hang on, hang on…”  Miroku gently tugged the list from her hands.  “Calm down.  I wouldn’t give up on him quite yet.  He’s had many, many years of experience in the field, and knows exactly what he’s doing.  Some missions just take longer than others, you know.”  Placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, he said quietly, “Perhaps you’re just itching for a bit of… action?”

The slight innuendo he put into his voice made Sango snap her head up to glare at him, her eyes livid.  “That does it.  I’ve had just about enough of your passes at me!  What the hell is wrong with you?!  Ever since I was sick, you been on me like a dog in heat!”

“Sango, you wound me,” Miroku replied, snatching his hand away when she gave it a painful pinch.  “You were the one making passes at me then!”

“I was sick,” she growled, whirling around to face her desk to hide the blush on her cheeks.  “You were being very kind, and I was simply accepting that kindness.  Had I known it would have ended like this, I’d have made you clean the apartment like you offered, rather than take a nap on you…”

A satisfied smile grew on his face.  “See?  You were tempting me.  You know, it’s very confusing for me when you send mixed signals, my dear.”

“Miroku, that was two days ago.  I was muddled with cold medicine, and half-asleep the whole time.  Please, just forget about it and focus on today.  Try and act normal for once.  Please…”

Sighing sadly, Miroku nodded his consent.  “Fine, fine…”  Bending over to look at the list of demons once more, he said in a more businesslike tone, “Well, in case things do get to the point where we need to go after him, who should we send?  We should put them on call so they know to be ready.”

Relieved that he had so readily accepted her plea, Sango focused on the list as well, chewing on the tip of a pen as she thought.  “Well, any of the wolf clan would be good.  They all know his scent.  Hakkaku or Ginta might enjoy having something to do after so long—eep!”

The sound of her hand on his cheek resounded throughout the room.

“Ah…”  Miroku fingered his freshly acquired handprint, a grin breaking  his features.  “You certainly are feeling better, aren’t you?”

“Pervert!” she hissed, scooting back in her chair so he could no longer reach the offended area.  “What did I just say?!”

“You asked me to act normal.  And besides, the way you were sitting was quite suggestive…”

Their secretary knocked lightly on the door just in time to prevent Sango from losing her temper and bringing all hell down upon Miroku.

“Um…”  Rin stared blankly at the scene before her; Sango had one fist twisted in Miroku’s shirt collar and her other cocked over her shoulder in preparation for a killing blow, but had froze at the girl’s entrance.  “Uh, Myoga has returned.  He said he had urgent information for you.”  She wisely decided not to comment on the situation she had walked in on.

“Ah!  Send him in, please.”  Sango quickly let go of her associate, and both hurriedly straightened their clothes before the tiny flea hopped in, looking quite weary.

“Well, well, Myoga…” Miroku said conversationally, holding out his hand for the flea to jump up on.  Bringing his hand up so the three could speak at the same level, he continued, “We were just about to send the dogs after you.  I trust you have some information for us, to be gone for so long?  Or were you unsuccessful?”

“Oh, I was successful…” the flea said breathlessly, clearly exhausted.  “But things do not bode well at all, I’m afraid.  Fortunately, I made it out without being spotted, but just barely.  Oh…”  Suddenly, he jabbed his sucker into Miroku’s palm and took several sips of blood.  A bit surprised, Miroku allowed him a couple moments, but he finally flipped the flea out when his palm started to itch. 

“Watch it.”

“Sorry,” Myoga replied, his voice sounding much stronger now that he’d had some sustenance.  “I haven’t had a meal in days.”

“Where have you been?” Sango asked.  “Were you ever able to come upon the centipede’s body?”

“Not exactly…  But I know what has happened to it.  It’s…  Well, let me start at the very beginning.”  Sitting down cross-legged, the flea began his tale.

“I started my search at the quarry, where the centipede disappeared.  Having heard reports from the wolves that there was no trace of the centipede’s scent anywhere in the city, I decided to search in the quarry itself.  For three days, I had no luck.  However, on the fourth day I stumbled upon a crack in the deepest, blackest part of the gorge that was just large enough for a person to fit through—plenty big enough for myself, of course.”

“There was a barrier erected around it, but I was able to get through, and I soon found myself in an enormous network of caverns. I soon figured out that it was not a barrier to keep someone out, but rather a barrier to keep something in.  The demonic aura emanating from it was monstrous, and no doubt would be sensed by Kaede immediately if left unchecked.”

“Which means that whoever or whatever is hiding in those caverns wants to remain undiscovered by us,” Sango said seriously.

Nodding, Myoga continued, “Please, allow me to finish and you will find out how true your words are.  Once inside, I searched several rooms, but soon got to the heart of the network.  There was an immense barrier around the entire perimeter of the central room;  I saw two demons standing outside it, speaking with someone hidden behind the barrier, who was clearly the mastermind behind the network.”

“The demon behind the barrier said, ‘I have finally begun to gain power after your birth.  Kagura, release the pitiful rabble you have locked away for me and loose them back upon the unsuspecting city.  Keep those of some strength and bring some to me.  My body is not complete yet.’”

“So, I followed the demonness named Kagura to the farthest outskirts of the caverns and…”  With a moan, the flea held his head in his hands.  “Well, let us say, it’s no wonder there have been no rogue demons wandering the city recently.  Literally hundreds of demons were locked up in that dreadful underground prison.  There was cell after cell after cell of demons, making such a din at their dreadful confinement.  I watched as Kagura opened the locks of several cells with a flick of her fan, and the demons inside swarmed out, fleeing the caverns as fast as they could.”

“For a few unfortunate others, she chained them with manacles of wind and forced them back to the central chamber.  I followed, and watched as a… well, I suppose ‘tentacle’ is the best word for it, emerged from the barrier and swallowed demons whole.”

“You mean…  absorbed them?” Miroku asked, trying to follow along.  “Perhaps that is what happened to the body of the centipede…”

“My thoughts precisely.  I continued to watch for several more days as this process continued.  However, clearly the demon behind the barrier was growing stronger, and he soon became sharp enough to sense my demonic aura, tiny as it is.  Fortunately, I was able to escape before his two minions were able to find me, and I returned here…”  Clearing his throat, for it had gone dry from his tale, he asked, “Do you know what this means?”

“There is the possibility of another disaster in the making,” Miroku replied grimly, referring to the battle against Naraku.  “If this demon behind the barrier continues to absorb the powers of all the demons in the city, he has the potential to grow even stronger than Naraku himself…”

Sango rubbed her head, trying to bite back the fear that accompanied his statement.  “How much time do you think we have to prepare for this?”

“Oh, months at least,” Myoga said in encouragement.  “It must have taken this demon more than a year to create that network, and now he’s trying to build up his body.  The going is still slow for him.  However, we will have to monitor this situation.  If we keep a close watch, we may find a weakness or even a way to prevent this demon from ever escaping his own jail.”

“Yes…”  With a deep sigh, Sango slowly straightened her shoulders.  “Well, I have one last question, and then you can go home and rest.” 

The flea seemed to be more than happy to hear that statement.  “Yes?”

“How did this demon gain the ability to absorb other demons into its own body?  Or even to build this network of caverns you keep talking about?  No demon in our records can do that.”

Myoga shrugged.  “I’m not sure, but there is the likely possibility of a Shikon shard at work here.  But I’m afraid we won’t be able to find out until he has emerged from the barrier.  Inu-Yasha won’t be able to sneak in to get close to sniff one out, if there is one.”  He blinked in sudden recollection.  “By the way, how is that foolish pup doing?  I never saw him after I sucked the poison from his blood.”

“He’s alive and back to his old antics,” Miroku informed him, sounding a little displeased.  “However, we have the new nurse, Kagome, looking after him.”

“Kagome, eh?  Nice girl, but do you think she can do it?”

Sango and Miroku exchanged a look.  “We have our reasons,” Sango said finally.  “But there is more to Kagome than you know.  We found out not long ago that she can see and sense Shikon shards; her spiritual power is very similar to Kikyo’s.  Do you think that if we brought her to the quarry, she’d be able to sense the shard without having to get closer?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

“Excellent.” Sango snapped her pen down on the desk and went to hold the door open for the flea.  “Great work, Myoga.  Now go home and rest.  Tomorrow we’ll call Kagome and have her meet us at the quarry so you can show us the way.  Is that all right?”

“Of course, of course.”  With a weary wave of goodbye, Myoga hopped out of the office, eager to get home.

For a few moments, Sango and Miroku sat in complete silence, the effect of Myoga’s tale crushing down on them.  It was something that they had wished would never happen again.  The affect of the last battle on the city had been devastating, and it had not even been a full decade since it had occurred.  It was doubtful they would be able to withstand another attack like it, especially with their best offense downing cheap whiskey in a dingy apartment.

Taking a deep breath, Miroku finally said, “At least now we know what’s going on.  I feel better not just sitting around with no idea of what is going to happen next.”

“…Yes…” Sango grudgingly agreed.  “But I still don’t like it.  I don’t know if we’ll be able to take on a more powerful demon than Naraku…”

“But we have to try,” Miroku interrupted.  “That is the Order’s purpose; to protect the city at all costs.”  Going over to her, he crouched by her chair and placed his hands gently on her knees.  “Besides…” he said softly, giving her an encouraging smile, “this time around we have you at the head.  That’s enough to make any demon quake in fear, right?” 

For another woman, such a statement might have been taken as an insult.  Sango, however, flushed in embarrassment.  “Oh, stop…” she mumbled, trying weakly to swat him away when he drew her up in a hug.

“Please don’t worry,” he murmured into her hair as she huddled in his embrace.  “We can handle this.  You’ll see.”

Staying silent, she nodded slowly, drawing strength from his quiet confidence.  Together, the two remained in the close embrace, reveling in the company.  However, the moment was ruined when Sango felt something on her backside, and soon Miroku was reeling back with a matching handprint on his other cheek.

“Your sense of timing needs a lot of work,” she hissed at him, then quickly withdrew to her desk.  “Now sit down, we have work to do.”

Smiling broadly at his success, Miroku asked, “Does that mean that there is an appropriate time to do such a thing?”

Her cheeks flaming, she snarled, “Back to work.”

“Of course, my dear.  Of course.”

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The past three days had been a very trying time for the pair in Inu-Yasha’s apartment.  After spending that time observing how the demon spent his days, Kagome was more than daunted by the task that lay ahead of her.

Currently, the two were seated in the living room watching late night TV.  Inu-Yasha was sprawled on the couch with a whiskey bottle at his side and a cigarette dangling lazily out of his slack mouth, while Kagome was curled up in his armchair, as was her usual position.  She held her ever-present clipboard and was chewing absently on her pen as she reviewed her notes from the past three days.

From day one, she had made Inu-Yasha very clear of her intentions; she was to be ignored and he was to go about his business as normal, so that way she could get a clear picture of what needed to be done.  While for the first day he hadn’t been very cooperative, as was expected, by the second day he got tired of yelling at her and succumbed to her request.  By the end of the third day, she had a much better idea of what to do.

“Day 1,” her clipboard read.  “Wake up at the crack of eleven.  Nurse hangover/ watch TV until eight o’clock.  Go to laundromat at nine; bring along flask.  Return home at eleven.  Drink until one, pass out.  Daily drink: 1 flask, 1/3 bottle of whiskey.  Food: 0.”

“Day 2.  Wake up at ten.  Nurse hangover until six.  Fix dinner.  Watch TV and drink until falling asleep on the couch at midnight.  Daily drink: ½ bottle of whiskey.  Food: 1 cup o’ noodles.”

“Day 3.  Wake up at ten.  Nurse hangover until four.  Rooftop run over city.  Return home at seven.  Watch TV and drink on couch until—“  And the entry ended there, for day three was not yet over.

As she read over her entries, she stifled a sigh.  The time spent in his apartment had been incredibly boring.  He simply did not do much of anything besides drink and watch TV.  The only exercise he had gotten was his ‘rooftop run’ as she called it; she assumed it was the only place where he could run as fast as he wanted and no one would notice.  The rest of his time was spent at the kitchen table, grumbling into his coffee, or on the couch, drinking himself to sleep.

Suddenly, she blinked and drew herself out of her thoughts, for she felt the strange prickling sensation of someone watching her.  Glancing up at the demon, she saw him quickly flick his somewhat bleary gaze back to the television, and she shook her head and went back to her clipboard.  He had been watching her often, and she still had yet to get used to his rather piercing stare.

Inu-Yasha growled inwardly when she almost caught him staring at her.  Sometimes he felt that he couldn’t help but stare at the foreign creature in his apartment.  While he had to admit to some interest in her, he was starting to become quite irritated by her constant presence.  He was used to being a solitary figure, and this slip of a girl was cramping his way of living.  In fact, he had decided long ago that he was going to test her limits, but so far she was not cracking under his pressure.

All of the other nurses Sango and Miroku had sent to him in the past were unable to resist snatching his whiskey bottle from his hands when he made to pour another drink from it, or trying to control his drinking every day.  Hell, they had even tried making a daily schedule for him so he would eat three meals a day and possibly do something constructive rather than watch TV.  But this girl just placidly watched him from the sidelines, making no move to interact with him whatsoever.  Her silence infuriated him, and he was bound and determined to get a rise out of her no matter what.

Taking one last drag of his cigarette, he snubbed it in the ashtray on the coffee table in front of him, then reclined back in the couch, blowing out smoke rings.  That was something most nurses hated: when he played with his cigarettes.  However, all he achieved was getting Kagome to peek at him from under her bangs, not even moving her head.  Clearly, she wasn’t bothered enough to say anything.

Trying to keep back a frustrated growl, he then picked up the whiskey bottle nestled at his side and swallowed a mouthful.  Yes, he had a tumbler sitting on the table, but drinking straight from the bottle was something that none of his previous nurses could stand.  He had received more lectures about drinking straight from the bottle than anything else.

Still no reaction; she didn’t even glance up.  How annoying.  Waiting until the burning sensation from the first mouthful ceased, he put the bottle back to his lips and took several draughts, hoping  that if he were more obvious, she might finally notice. 

When he finally pulled the bottle away, he found himself unable to watch her reaction, for his chest was burning painfully and he could hardly breathe.  It took several moments before the sensation lessened, and he gasped for breath; he was foolish to forget that it was not a wise idea to drink that much whiskey in one go.  Blinking the stars from his vision, he set the bottle back at his side, feeling a bit nauseous.

It was only when he regained his breath did he sneak a look at her, and was more than irritated to find that she was yawning, and hadn’t been paying attention at all.  A snarl tugging at his lips, he turned his attention back to the television, trying to think of another way to rile her. 

Suddenly, he hiccupped sharply, then groaned.  He shouldn’t have taken that last drink.  Kagome looked up at the sound, then smiled kindly at him when he caught her eye before going back to her work.

Before he could get too angry, the telephone rang, making both jump a bit in surprise.  Once he recovered, Inu-Yasha groped for the phone, having to try a couple times before grasping it.  “Whaddaya want?” he growled, displeased by the interruption.

“Ah, Inu-Yasha.  How wonderful it is to hear your dulcet tones so late at night,” came Miroku’s voice from the other end.

“Hmmph.  What’s got you in such a good mood?” the demon grumbled, for Miroku’s joy was quite obvious.

A light chortle came from the other end.  “Sango and I have spent some quality time together today,” he replied.  Then, dropping his voice to a whisper, he added, “I got lucky.”

“MIROKU!!” Sango’s voice boomed from the background, and he started to laugh.

“It was just a joke!”

Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes.  “You didn’t jus’ call t’ chat, did you?  I’m in no mood.”

Clearing his throat, Miroku quickly reined in his mirth.  “No, I didn’t.  I have some business to discuss with Miss Kagome, and I was wondering if she was around.  We tried calling her apartment, but she wasn’t there, so we assumed she was with you.”

“Hmph.  Hang on.”  Without giving her warning, he tossed the phone right in her lap, and she jumped in surprise. 

Giving him a reproachful glare, she put it to her ear and said, “Hello?”

“Hello, Miss Kagome.  It’s Miroku.  I’m calling about an assignment we have for you.  We need to see you at the quarry tomorrow morning, at about five o’ clock.  Can you make it?”

“Well, yes, I think so.  But what for?  What’s the assignment?”

“We’re going to put your newfound powers to the test.  Our informant believes there may be a jewel shard deep inside the quarry, but it’s too dangerous to simply go looking for it.  We need you to try and locate it first before we send anyone down there.”

“Ah, I see.  Of course.  Tomorrow at five, then.”

“See you then.”

“What’s he need you for?” Inu-Yasha grunted grumpily when she hung up.

“A mission.  He wants me at the quarry at five o’ clock tomorrow morning to try and find a jewel shard.”

“Oh.”  Falling quiet for just a second, he then snapped, “I’m goin’ too.”

Surprised, and even a little pleased, for it meant that tomorrow he would be doing something besides lying on the couch and watching TV, she simply replied, “Fine,” and got up to put the phone back in its cradle. 

When she walked in front of Inu-Yasha to reach it, he started to growl because she blocked his view.  However, that growl was quickly cut short by another hiccup, and he sighed in annoyance.

Since the hour was growing late and they needed to be up early, she decided it was time to stop being merely an observer and start being his nurse.  So she picked up the full ashtray and his glass, then pulled the bottle from his side, ignoring his protests.

“Sleep,” she instructed, quickly depositing the items in the kitchen before returning to the couch.  Pulling the raggedy blanket off the back and tucking it in around him, much to his displeasure, she continued, “If you’re going to get up early, I’m not going to have you be a pill.  You need some rest.”

He tried to grumble a complaint, but once again the hiccups haunted him, and he snarled in frustration.

“See?” she told him.  “That’s what you get for trying to bait me.  Now please, stop fidgeting and go to sleep.”  Turning the light out, she left him alone in the living room, using his bedroom as her own place of rest.

He stared after her a moment; she had known what he was trying to do the whole time.  Hmph.  Stretching out his full length upon the sofa, he slowly shut his eyes.  He had to give her a little credit, he supposed.  But no matter.  He was going to get her to break sooner or later.  It would just take a little more time.

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Thanks so much for reading; I very much hope you enjoyed it.  Please, leave a review and let me know what you thought!

Thank you to you who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 11:  Possibility

Inu-Yasha was rather rudely, in his opinion, woken the next morning by a wad of clothes thrown in his face.  On top of that, it was so early that it was still dark outside, which confused his muddled mind just as much the alarm call.

“Come on,” Kagome said briskly, giving his legs a whack to prevent him from going back to sleep.  “Get up.  You have half an hour to get ready.”

“Ready…?” he mumbled, slowly sitting up and resting his head in his hands as the room spun; he never got up so early.

“I’ve got to be at the quarry at five, and you insisted on coming along.  So come on, up and at ‘em!” 

As his bleary brain tried to catch up with the situation, for he found Kagome to be much too chipper at such an hour, she pushed him off the couch far faster than he should have been moving and gave him a light shove down the hallway.

“Here’s some fresh clothes; now go take a shower, you’ll feel much better.”  Tossing his clothes in his arms, she watched as he stumbled into the restroom, obviously too confused to argue.  Once the door shut, she sighed in relief.  She had hoped that by being so harsh, she wouldn’t have such a difficult time getting him up, and thus wouldn’t have to deal with his foul temper and whiny attitude, which she was certain would be far worse at 4:15 in the morning.  Thankfully, her plan had worked.

While Inu-Yasha got himself cleaned up, Kagome made a pot of coffee and some toast, and had both ready when he emerged from the bathroom, clean, awake, and very displeased.

“What the hell kind of a way is that to wake a man?” he growled, shaking the last few droplets of water from his hair.  “I’ve had better wake-up calls from my damn hangovers!”

Raising an eyebrow, for she thought he was overreacting just a bit, she replied, “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be late for my first official assignment.  I knew that you’d had a bit to drink last night, so I tried to let you sleep as late as you could.  It was a rude awakening, I know, but you got to sleep more for it.”

With his stony glare informing her that she was not forgiven, she sighed and held out the thermos of coffee.  “Will this make up for it?”

“Huh.  Not hardly.”  Nevertheless, he snatched it from her hands, then stomped away with a fierce scowl.  Kagome rolled her eyes at his childish attitude, but held her tongue.  It was most important that she stayed on his good side as much as possible.

Wrapping the buttered toast in a paper towel, she went into the living room and saw him sitting on the couch and tugging his ratty sneakers on, grumbling under his breath the whole time.  “Hey,” she said, setting her own thermos and the toast on the coffee table as she reached for her coat.  “You about ready to go?”

“Almost…” he grunted, getting to his feet and plodding into the kitchen.  “Damn pushy woman…” she heard him mutter as he went past.  She once again had to hold her tongue from sending back a biting retort, and went about buttoning her coat and pulling on a yarn cap and mittens.  By the time she was bundled up with purse and thermos in hand, he returned to the living room, shoving something in his back pocket; that something, as she had little doubt, was his flask.  He did not seem to like leaving his apartment without it.

“Let’s go,” he snapped, snatching his thermos up and stalking to the door.

“Wait, where’s your coat?  It’s barely twenty degrees outside; you’ll freeze to death, unless you plan on sitting in the car the entire time.”

“I don’t need a damn coat.  I’m a hanyo.”

After biting back retorts several times that morning, Kagome found herself  unable to ignore the doctor side of her, and could not resist saying, “’Hanyo’ is not synonymous with ‘invincible’.  You can still catch a cold.  Will you please bring a sweatshirt or jacket along?  Please?”

Glaring at her, he growled, “No,” then walked out the door, not waiting for her to follow.

With a frown, she followed after him, then sighed when she realized that, rather than walking down the stairs, he instead chose to leap over the railing and fall down seven flights, landing lightly on the ground floor without spilling a drop of coffee.  As she quickly descended the normal way, she got the feeling that he had most likely done that on purpose, as a way to make her feel inferior.

He needs a friend. He needs a friend.  He needs a friend, she chanted mentally to herself.  It wouldn’t do to get angry with him; he seemed to be waiting for that, and the moment she showed him that weakness, he would strike and bring her down.  She did not hate him for it; it was to be expected, judging from his numerous bad experiences from previous nurses.  But, it was certainly testing her limits, so before she went outside to meet him she paused and counted slowly in her head.  Once relaxed, she opened the main doors and came upon him leaning against her car, scowling.

“Took you long enough,” he grunted, taking a sip of coffee.

“Sorry,” she replied brightly, setting her thermos on the hood so she could dig in her pocket for the keys.  “I had to take the long way down.  Oh, and here—this is for you.”    She shoved the paper towel with toast in his hands, then shooed him away from the door so she could get in.  “Breakfast.”

Sneering, he went around to the other side of the car, frustrated by her lack of response.  She seemed to rub it in, too, for when he slid into the passenger’s seat, she smiled kindly at him and started the car.  He bit back a growl and took a long swallow of coffee.

“Eat up,” she said, pulling out onto the road.  “I slaved over a hot toaster to make that for you.  It took me almost five whole minutes.”  Giving a light chuckle at her joke, she glanced over at him, and the smile quickly slid off her face.  His expression was clearly telling her, under no uncertain terms, should she continue to speak.

Deciding not to test the limits of his patience so early in the morning, she kept quiet, and the drive went by in almost total silence.  She was heartened to see him reluctantly eat the toast, but the progress made was dashed when he tried to light up a cigarette afterward.  Being a nurse, it was difficult to accept him smoking at all, although she did her best around him.  However, she most certainly was not going to allow him to smoke in her car, allowing the stench to permeate the fabric and force her to smell it for the next several days each time she drove.  Unfortunately, this ban heightened the tension between them, and she was more than relieved to arrive at the quarry and end the stressful drive.

The moment the car came to a halt, Inu-Yasha slipped out and set his thermos on the hood so he could finish lighting the cigarette he had attempted to light inside the car, glaring as Miroku, Sango, and Myoga approached.

“Well, well, well, I certainly wasn’t expecting to see your bright and cheery self at this hour,” Miroku said by way of greeting, partially mocking him, and partially pleased.  To see the demon so early in the morning meant that the night before had not been as whiskey-sodden as his nights normally were.

“Shut up, ass,” Inu-Yasha growled back, throwing the crumpled paper towel at him. 

“And good morning to you too,” Sango said, frowning at his behavior.  “What made you decide to tag along?”

He turned his amber gaze on her.  “’Tag along’?” he repeated incredulously, blowing a cloud of smoke in her direction.  “There’s a jewel shard involved.  It’s my job.”

“Actually, this one is Kagome’s job.  You didn’t have to come.”

“Hey, she’s my nurse, ain’t she?  So, yeah, I did have to come.”

With a frustrated sigh, Sango turned to Kagome, who had long since gotten out of the car but had decided to greet Myoga rather than join in their tense conversation.  “Kagome, good morning.  I’m glad to see you made it.”

“Good morning to both of you,” she replied politely, smiling at them.  However, as she studied them she saw that their faces were pinched and drawn, and it was clear something was not right.  “Are you guys all right?  You both look a little pale…”

“Huh.”  Miroku laughed mirthlessly.  “Well, our workload has suddenly picked up again, and we now…  Actually, I believe this is a story for Myoga to tell.  Myoga, would you care to—wait, where did he go?”

Suddenly, Inu-Yasha gave a short yelp and slapped his nose. “Damn flea,” he growled as a rather flat Myoga came away on his palm.  “You never warn me when you do that.”

“If I did warn you, you’d try to stop me,” the flea replied, slurping up one last droplet of blood.  “I see you little enough as it is; how can you deny me a sip when we do meet?”

“I’m not a blood bank, you little insect,” he snapped back.

“Hey, hey.  Enough of that inane conversation.  Myoga, would you please bring Kagome and Inu-Yasha up-to-date on the situation?”  Sango’s tone was clipped and abrupt.

Deciding he might be in a safer position if he sat on Kagome’s palm rather than Inu-Yasha’s to tell his story, he leaped over to Kagome and regaled them with all the details of his hair-raising descent into the quarry.  Even Inu-Yasha, in his foul, anti-social mood, listened intently.

A somber silence fell over the group when Myoga finished his tale.

“A… demon that can absorb others?” Kagome asked, her eyebrows pinched together in thought.  “But, with all those demons locked away down there, doesn’t that mean that he can gain incredible power from them?”

“It is a possibility,” Sango replied.  “While most of the demons in this city are not terribly powerful, all of them combined into one intelligent body is a serious threat.  In fact, Miroku and I calculated it, and…”  She cast a quick glance at Inu-Yasha, who was standing stiff and silent by the car, his expression unreadable.  “…He has the potential to become even more powerful than Naraku was.”

Kagome stifled a gasp.  “Is…is there a way to stop this from happening?  I mean, the city has just barely recovered from the last war…”

“Well, that’s where  you come in, Miss Kagome,” Miroku informed her.  “The ability to absorb others demonic powers is a trait not found in many demons.   Thus, we believe this demon behind the barrier has a Shikon shard that is aiding his abilities; we need you to confirm that fact.  If it is true, there are steps we can take to prevent such a thing from occurring again.”

“Such as?” Inu-Yasha asked, his voice soft and strained.  Miroku gave him an odd look, but simply answered, “We’ll discuss that if it turns out to be true.  Now, Kagome, if you’ll follow us…”

As Myoga and Miroku led her away from the quarry entrance and closer to where Myoga had come upon the chasm, Inu-Yasha cleared his throat to get Sango’s attention.  She paused, for she had made to follow after them.

“Yes?” she asked, still a little miffed by his incredibly rude behavior that morning.

Keeping quiet, he motioned for her to come closer.  She grew concerned by his demeanor, and quickly went over to him.  “What, what is it?  Are you not feeling well?”  His bout at the hospital had not been that long ago, and she and Miroku were still worried about his health.

“No, no, no…” he growled irritably, waving the comment away.  “That’s not it, it’s just…”  He suddenly stopped speaking and rubbed his face, trying to keep in control of his emotions, which were threatening to break out at any moment.  Taking several deep breaths, he finally said softly, “Is… is it true?  Is it really possible for a demon stronger than Naraku to emerge?”

Sango sighed sadly, her shoulders slumping.  She had a feeling she knew where this conversation was heading.  “I hate to be pessimistic, Inu-Yasha…” she replied, crossing her arms.  “But, with all the evidence Myoga has been able to give us…  Yes, it is a distinct possibility.  There are a couple ways to prevent it, but they are incredibly dangerous feats, and it is a good chance we will lose people in the attempt.  And even then…”  She shook her head.  “Deep in my bones, I fear the worst.  We may have another war on our hands in less than a year’s time…”

A low moan came from Inu-Yasha’s throat.  When he lifted his head to look at her, she was shocked to see his expression; he looked defeated already, hopeless and weak.  He made her want to give up and surrender right there on the spot.

“I can’t do it again…” he whispered desperately to her, a wild look in his eye.  “Don’t make me do it again…  I lost so much the last time…  I can’t bear it again.  Please…”

“I-I…  What?”

“Naraku…” he ground out, grabbing her wrists.  She could feel how cold and clammy his hands were at his touch, and she realized impact Myoga’s tale had on him.  “I can’t fight him again…  I just can’t do it.  It…it can’t be done.  Please… please…”

Her heart ached to see him like he was, pleading for freedom from responsibility; he knew as well as she that once word reached the people of the city of a new threat to their existence, all eyes would turn to him for aid, since he had saved them once before.  His nickname was not ‘savior of the city’ for nothing.  But he also knew that he could not beat another demon like Naraku; his heart couldn’t take another blow, his mind couldn’t handle the thought of more pain and tragedy crashing down upon him.

Sango, however, was not going to stand for it.  She did not want to give up hope, and he was their only hope if things did come to war.  He was once their best fighter, and if he got control of himself he could once again come to the city’s defense.

Wrenching her arms from his grasp, she wrapped her fists in his shirt collar and slammed him against the car.  “That is quite enough of that,” she snapped, staring down at his surprised face furiously.  “You need to get a hold of yourself.  You are a member of the Order, and you took an oath to protect the city.  If you continue to talk that way, then you are breaking your oath, and you will be thrown out faster than you can blink.  If things come down to war and if you have to fight another like Naraku, take heart in the fact that this time you have nothing to lose.  Unless this demon targets the Tap, in which case I’d get worried if I were you.  Got it?” 

She hated to be so harsh with him, but blunt was often the best way to get through to him, and she wasn’t about to let him wallow in self-pity at the city’s expense.  Giving him one last push against the car, she released her grip on his collar and stood up straight, crossing her arms and glaring down at him.

“I suggest you stay here until you get back into your right mind.  It will hurt appearance and morale if you show your face to the others looking so pathetic; failure in hope is contagious, and that is the absolute last thing we need at this moment.”  Turning on her heel, she stalked off, her cheeks burning as she tried to hold back her urge to weep; to see Inu-Yasha in such a state chilled her to the bone, and she could only hope that Kagome was the miracle-worker Miroku seemed to think she was.

“Well?” she asked brusquely when she arrived at the spot where Myoga had led them to.  “Have we found anything yet?”

“Hm?” Miroku glanced up from the black trench in the quarry, where he had been trying to catch a glimpse of the chasm Myoga had mentioned, though the task was nigh impossible in the inky darkness of early morning.  “Oh, I thought you had stayed behind with Inu-Yasha.  Well, we haven’t found anything as of yet, but Kagome has decided to try a new position.”

“I see.  Um, where is she?”  Sango peered around, but couldn’t see the shape of the girl anywhere.

“I’m sorry, but could you please stop talking?  I’m trying to concentrate.”  Sango jumped when the lump beside Miroku’s foot talked before she realized that it was actually Kagome, lying on her belly with her head stuck underneath the bars of the guard rail.

All quickly fell silent, and for a few minutes the only noise was the brisk October wind whistling over the gorge.  At last Kagome pulled her head in and stood up, dusting the dirt and gravel off the front of her coat.

“Well?” Myoga asked anxiously from his perch on Miroku’s shoulder.

“I did sense a shard.  It was faint, but incredibly far away.  I don’t know how deep you went, Myoga, but this network of caverns must be miles underground.”

“But you’re certain there is one?” Sango demanded. 

Kagome nodded soberly.  “Yes.  There may even be more than one, but the signal is so faint that I can’t tell.”

“More than one?” Miroku asked in surprise, looking worried.  “Why do you say that?”

She looked at him as though it were obvious.  “Well, if this superdemon has the majority of the city’s demon population down there, and if any of those demons carry shards, it’s most likely he’s obtained more than one.”

Miroku groaned.  “I didn’t think of that…  Damn, this trip is going from bad to worse.”

You don’t say… Sango thought dryly, thinking of the demon she had left back at the car.  “All right,” she sighed aloud, putting a hand on Miroku’s shoulder.  “Let’s get back to the Order; we have work to do.  Kagome, thanks so much for your work today.  We’ll be in touch soon.”

They all traipsed back to the quarry entrance, where Sango, Miroku, and Myoga quickly left, all wearing worried expressions.  Kagome’s information had confirmed their fears.

Kagome, not fully aware of the impact of a jewel shard involved, walked over to Inu-Yasha, who was sipping mindlessly at his coffee, his eyes blank.  A smile breaking her features, for he looked as though he simply wasn’t awake, she approached him and waved a hand in front of his face, her smile widening when he flicked his gold eyes at her.

“Good morning…” she said teasingly, then paused when she caught a whiff from his thermos; apparently he had needed a pick-me-up and had poured the contents of his flask into his coffee, for the smell of whiskey was quite strong.  Still, her smile never breaking, she continued.  “I was thinking about stopping by McDonald’s so I could get some breakfast.  Would you mind?”

He did not appear to be too happy at the thought, but simply shrugged and turned to get in the car.  Kagome quickly followed suit, and soon they had pulled out of the quarry and were on the road.  Peeking at her passenger out of the corner of her eye, she saw him visibly relax once the quarry was out of sight, but he still seemed to be far away, and was very quiet.  He spent the entire staring out the window, a frown marring his features and his expression tight.  She even had to tap him on the shoulder when they pulled into the parking lot, for he hadn’t moved.

“Hey, come on.  Unless you really want to sit in the car the whole time.”

He blinked, then shook his head to clear it and climbed out of the car, following her into the restaurant.  Normally, he hated restaurants, for they were almost always too full of people for his liking.  However, it being only six in the morning, no one but them and the workers were there, and he was able to relax slightly.

Sliding into the seat across from the chair where Kagome was dropping her purse and coat, he sighed and rested his chin in his hand; he hated to admit it, but after standing in twenty degree weather without a coat, it felt very nice to sit in a heated building.

“Do you want anything?  I know you had that toast, but perhaps you want something a little more substantial…”  Kagome looked hopefully at him, then shrugged when he silently shook his head and took a swallow from his thermos; clearly everything he needed was in that.  “All right, suit yourself.  I’ll be right back.”

He focused his gaze on the table, grateful to be alone again.  After his quite embarrassing breakdown in front of Sango, he was feeling awfully uncomfortable, and being around people only heightened his embarrassment.  However, he knew that his actions then had stemmed from fear, and that fear still had a firm grip on him.  He was scared—terrified, in fact.  Everything he had told Sango was the truth, but her word in response had cut into him.

Did he really have nothing to lose?  That thought echoed between his ears, over and over.  Had he pushed so many people away that this time around, if he did have to fight this demon, he would not fear for anyone’s life?  Well…  There were Sango and Miroku.  As much hell he had put them through, they deserved to be under his protection, pathetic as it was…

Groaning in despair at the thought, he took another gulp from his thermos, grimacing at the taste of coffee and whiskey.  He didn’t like them together, but he had needed something to steady his nerves after Sango had hauled him over the coals, and got the feeling he would have been rebuked doubly had they seen him drinking from his flask so early in the morning. 

The smell of hash browns came wafting over to his nose, breaking him from his thoughts, and was followed closely by sausage, egg, and cheese.  He quickly lifted his head from his hand as Kagome sat down with her tray, staring at the food.

“Such quick service, so early in the morning,” she said conversationally, opening up a carton of orange juice and sticking a straw in.  “I don’t think I’ve ever been served so fast.”

“Mm,” he grunted in disinterest, turning to stare out at the window at the buildings shrouded in shadow.

“By the way, do you need some aspirin or something?  You had your head in your hands, so I was wondering if you had a headache.  Sometimes if people get up too early, it can cause that.”

“No, I don’t have a headache…” he mumbled.  “Besides, human medicine does nothing for me.”  He did not offer any reason as to why he had his head in his hands, so Kagome just nodded and started to nibble on her hash browns.

After a just a few moments, he could hardly stand it any longer.  The mouthwatering  aroma of the greasy fast food was making his stomach rumble, and finally tore his eyes away from the window to stare at her tray, swallowing hard.  It looked so good…

“…Inu-Yasha?” 

He jerked his head up to look at her, flushing under her gaze.  “What?” he snapped, turning away and crossing his arms.  “I wish you’d stop talking.  It’s too early for all your chatter.”

“Inu-Yasha, would you like me to get you some breakfast?”

Squirming in his seat, he finally sighed.  “No, I’ll get it myself.”  And then, before she could blink, he snatched the biscuit off her tray and tore off the paper, taking an enormous bite.

Her mouth hanging open at his boldness, she soon recovered and tried to snatch it back, but he brushed her hands aside, growling slightly.  It sent her the message that he did not want to play, but she saw that his tension had eased, and he appeared to be more relaxed.  Deciding that that was progress enough, she simply shook her head and stood up.

“I guess since you’re able to fend for yourself,” she began, laughter hinted in her tone, “then I’ll go fend for myself.  Of course, that’s what I thought I had done in the first place…”  He watched her as she walked away, and when she looked back at him he tore off another chunk of sausage, egg, and cheese, confirming it as his property.  She chuckled lightly, and went back to the counter.

As she waited for her order, she sighed quietly, rubbing at her eyes.  Waking up at three thirty was finally taking its toll, especially with the stress of the situation at the quarry weighing down on her as well.  With the added work of getting Inu-Yasha going, she was understandably tired. 

Now she had another task ahead of her.  She wasn’t stupid; she had certainly noticed the change in his demeanor from before they went to search for a shard and after they returned.  The simple fact that he hadn’t gone with them was a sign something had happened, for wouldn’t one who had demanded to go along with her intend to see the whole job through?  So it was up to her to find out what had occurred, and she had a fairly good idea what it was. 

However, now was not the time for a therapy session.  Accepting her tray from the cashier, she returned to the table, watching Inu-Yasha finish inhaling the biscuit.  He was finally lightening up, and to start a serious discussion would only drag him back down; with one as volatile in his emotions as he, to speak of the quarry was a dangerous idea.  So, she settled back into her seat and handed him another biscuit.

In response to his questioning look, she replied, “I would rather share my food than have it stolen.  At least this way I get to have a little.”

He chose not to argue, and silently accepted the food.

Kagome smiled down at her tray; another breakthrough.  Perhaps the day was not going to be as bad as it appeared to be.

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Thanks so much for reading!  I hope you enjoyed this latest installment of Guilty Hero.  Please, leave a review and send some feedback, it always helps to hear the readers’ opinions!

Thanks so much to those who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 12: Assistance

After their breakfast of champions at McDonald’s, Kagome took them both back to Inu-Yasha’s apartment and sent him back to bed, hoping to rectify his foul mood with some rest.  He certainly didn’t fight her on that order, and slunk quite willingly under the covers.

Four hours later, he emerged from the bedroom, blinking sleepily.  Shuffling down the hallway, he peered around, but saw no trace of his nurse anywhere.  A deep sniff from his demon nose proved what his sleep-blurred eyes told him, and he realized that he was alone. 

“Finally…” he mumbled, absently scratching his side as he went into the kitchen.  “Damn woman’s like a second shadow.  Can’t get away from her.”  Glancing at the clock on the microwave, he saw it was only eleven, and sighed sadly.  It was still too early to partake in the liquid lunch that he really wanted, particularly after the addition to his coffee that morning; it had left him with a slightly queasy sensation, so he decided not to push his luck.

Filling a glass with water, he took a seat at the kitchen table and pulled the newspaper towards him; Kagome must have retrieved it from the hallway earlier.  He pulled a slightly crushed pack of cigarettes from his pocket and tugged one out with a bit of difficulty, then lit it as he scanned the front page.  However, he barely got through the first paragraph of an article about the upcoming mayoral elections when the front door opened and Kagome tumbled inside, dragging several bags with her.

“Ah, good afternoon!” she panted, red-faced and out of breath as she lugged her bags into the kitchen and heaved them up on the table.  “I’m glad you’re up.  I was almost afraid I’d have to wake you like I did this morning.”

Glaring around at the scattered remains of the paper he had been reading, Inu-Yasha growled, “Back so soon?”

She blinked at him in surprise.  “I’ve been gone almost two hours; I guess you’ve been sleeping the whole time.”  Shrugging out of her coat, she hung it over the back of a chair and then started digging through one of the bags, humming merrily.

“What the hell is all this?” he grumbled, picking distastefully at the white plastic.

“Groceries,” she replied, pulling out a tub of margarine and a bag of shredded cheese before walking towards the refrigerator.  “I’ve finished my observation days, and have come up with a plan for you.”

“Oh, really?” he sneered, leaning back in his chair and taking a long drag from his cigarette.  “What, pray tell, do you have in mind?”

Smiling back at him, undaunted, she continued to stock the bare fridge with food.  “Well…” she began slowly, “I’m going to try and give you three meals a day.  For the first couple weeks, we’ll keep you on a high fat diet to put some meat on your bones, then we’ll go into more well-balanced meals.  Meat, fruit, vegetables, that sort of thing.  Hopefully, you’ll be doing much better after that.  It’s amazing what a good meal can do for you.”

Inu-Yasha continued to sit quietly and smoke, waiting for her to finish.  She was inevitably going to bring up her restriction on his liquor consumption, and he couldn’t wait to shoot that policy down.  No nurse had ever conquered him, and he certainly wasn’t going to allow this slip of a woman to do what no other had done.

The only problem was, her ban never came.  He waited for her to keep going, but she had fallen silent and was diligently putting groceries away; currently she was shoving packages of ground beef in the freezer.  He stared at her, his eyes narrowing into a glare.  Blowing out a cloud of smoke, he drummed his fingers impatiently on the table, the sound catching Kagome’s attention.

Looking at him, slightly confused, she asked, “Yes?”

He scowled at her.  “Is that all?”

“Well… Yes…  Were you expecting more?”

He remained silent, staring daggers at her until he finally snorted and turned away, gathering up the scattered remains of the newspaper.  Hiding a smile, Kagome went back to the groceries; she knew exactly why he was so grumpy.  But she refused to give in.  She did have a plan to tackle his drinking, but she was fairly certain it wasn’t any way that his previous nurses had tried.  However, she did choose not to inform him about it, for he was certain to resist if he knew. 

A few minutes passed uneventfully, and Kagome finally managed to put all the food away, filling up cabinets that had been bare for years.  It took longer than it should have, for a thick layer of dust covered every shelf, which she had to clean, and she often came upon forgotten whiskey bottles with only a swallow of the drink left in the bottom.  Covering her nose, for the smell coming from them was quite powerful, she poured them out in the sink, then tossed them in a garbage bag.  As she knotted the bag tightly and set it in a corner to take out later, she glanced over at the demon, wondering why he was so quiet, and realized he had gone back to the newspaper.

“You know, I didn’t really peg you as the newspaper type of guy,” she said conversationally, breaking the silence.

His ears flicking irritably at the second interruption, he grunted, “I’m not.  But there’s a few articles I need to read.”

“Such as?”

Heaving a sigh and wondering if he was ever going to finish what he had started, he replied with a touch of annoyance, “The city’s mayoral elections are comin’ up.  Because the Order works so closely with the government, and in particular the mayor, we need to keep a sharp eye on the elections.  We can’t allow some demon fanatic to be elected, or anything like that.”

“You mean you fix the elections?” she asked in disbelief, rather shocked at the news.

He allowed a small grin to cross his face at her expression.  “We’ve never had to; the city doesn’t want a fanatical mayor elected just as much as the Order doesn’t.  But, if it ever came down to that, we would fix it.  Anything to keep the city safe,” he added sarcastically, going back to the paper.

“Oh…  Well, why are you looking into it now?  Mayoral elections aren’t until the spring, right?”

Smacking the paper down on the table and turning in his chair to glare at her, he snapped shortly, “If we see a candidate we like, support from select members of the Order can garner enough popularity for that candidate to have a fighting chance.  Can I go back to reading now?!”

“But who in the Order has that kind of sway with the public?  Or do you have someone hired to campaign for whomever you choose to support?  And why does—“

“Dammit, woman!!”  Slamming the table as he got to his feet, he snatched up the paper and stomped into the living room, flopping onto the couch with a huff.

Peeking into the living room after him, Kagome shrugged and let him be.  She knew he wasn’t used to being  around someone else all the time, and was likely to be prickly for a while until he got used to her company.  Retrieving her bag from and armchair in the living room, and making certain to ignore Inu-Yasha, she returned to the kitchen and pulled out a folder, which contained a meal plan.  She began to browse through it at the table, going about her business as quietly as possible, and the two were able to tolerate each other’s presence well enough for the rest of the day.

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“Well, this is just great,” Sango sighed in distress, sinking down into her desk chair.  “We have a superdemon growing more powerful day by day right underneath us, and we can’t do a damn thing about it.  Oh, and he might have more than one Shikon shard in his possession.  Because he needs more power.”

“Now, Sango…” Miroku said soothingly, placing his hands on her shoulders.  “We have things we can do—don’t sound so hopeless.”

“Stop it,” she snapped, brushing his hands off.  “Now is not the time to coddle me.  We have work to do, and we need to do it fast.”

“Well, where do you suggest we start?”  Miroku was doing his best to remain calm and cool in front of Sango; obviously, she was upset about the confirmation of a terrible threat against the city, but she had been strangely agitated after she joined them at the quarry after her talk with Inu-Yasha.  He was very curious to know what had transpired between the two, but knew better than to ask.  She could pose a frightening figure when backed into a corner.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled a list of their agents towards her, rubbing her temples.  “We need to set up a perimeter around the quarry, to make certain nothing comes in or out.  However, we can’t use any demons, for if this superdemon is absorbing them, then our agents are at risk themselves.  We certainly don’t want this threat to gain the powers of Koga or Inu-Yasha.  But, the humans we put around there need to be well-equipped  for fighting demons…  And they need to be inconspicuous.”

“What if we got them hired at the quarry?  They would be very inconspicuous if they were workers.”

“Yes.  Good.”  Nodding in approval at Miroku, Sango quickly scribbled a note on a blank sheet of paper and passed it off to him.  “Fax that to Rin.  She can come up with a list of workers for that.  Now…”

The rest of their day passed in a similar manner: Myoga’s report needed to be recorded, the mayor and the police needed to be informed of the threat, the other agents in the Order had to be told—the list went on and on and on.  In fact, it wasn’t until nine o’ clock that night before they had the chance to breathe.

“What a day…” Miroku groaned, stretching as far as he could, causing his back to pop painfully.  “I’m so sick of staring at these four walls.”

“You need to stop complaining,” Sango sighed in reply, her voice slightly muffled for her head was in her hands.  “That won’t make this day any better.”

“Hmph.  You know, I never realized when I accepted this job that there would be more paperwork than anything else.  Had I known, I don’t think I would have taken it.”  Suddenly, the ringing from the fax machine interrupted his griping, and he groaned as he pulled the incoming paper out.  “Speak of the devil.   More paperwork.”

“What is it this time?” Sango asked tiredly, slowly sitting up.

“Demon assignment.  Myoga’s found a giant rat causing trouble in an alley nearby.”

Groping for her well-worn list of agents, she ran her tired eyes over it.  “Does it say how powerful this rat is?”

“It’s not terribly powerful.”

“Hm…  Would one of the wolves work?”

Suddenly, Miroku stood up, quite excited.  “No… no, I think I know who can handle this.”

Sango raised an eyebrow.  “If you’re going to say Inu-Yasha, no.  I definitely do not want to bother him today.”

“No, not Inu-Yasha.  Us.”

She didn’t move.  “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, my dear.  We need to get out of this cramped office.  And we haven’t gone demon-hunting in years—it could be quite fun.  We’d get a little fresh air, some exercise…”

“Oh, Miroku, we still have plenty of work to do here, I really think we should get someone else…”

The fact that she had not flat-out told him ‘no’ spoke wonders.  He grinned impishly at her, then pulled open his desk drawer, removing a stack of rectangular sheets of paper and waving them suggestively in front of her.

“I can’t believe you still have those,” she said in disgust, pushing them away.  “Do they even work anymore?”

“Sango!  What little faith you have in my abilities!”  He pulled the papers back to his chest, looking quite wounded.  “These sutras will stand for a thousand years without losing their bite!  I’d like to see that rat try to withstand one of these.”

“Miroku…”

He went over and knelt onto the floor by her chair, taking one of her hands in his own.  “Please, Sango, just this once…  For old times’ sake?  There’s no need to disturb our other agents when we can handle this perfectly ourselves.  We both could use a little action.”

Hesitating one last time, she finally sighed and stood up, tugging her hand from his grasp.  “I can’t believe I’m doing this…”

A wide grin crossing his face, Miroku quickly got to his feet and ran over to the closet, tossing Sango’s coat at her before reaching back inside.  Finally, after a moment of rummaging, he emerged victoriously with a long wooden staff and a double-barreled pistol.

“Here you are,” he said, handing her the pistol.  “Your ‘Boomerang Bullet’.”

“It’s called Hiraikotsu,” she said irritably, snatching it from his hands.  “Respect the name.”

Shrugging into his own coat, he tucked the sutras into his pocket and swung the wooden staff a couple of times for good measure, getting the feel of the old weapon.  “Ah.  This feels good.”  Then, taking her hand, the two left the building, smiling innocently at Rin as she stared when they walked by with their odd weaponry.

Despite the chill in the air, they decided to walk, for the alley was only a few blocks away.  Sango kept her pistol tucked into her coat pocket, and Miroku did his best to pretend his staff was a walking stick, and they managed to avoid too many stares.  It helped that the streets were almost devoid of people.

“So…” Miroku began conversationally as they huddled close together, for the wind was biting at them.  “What was wrong with Inu-Yasha today?  He seemed to be more out of sorts than usual.”

Sango sighed deeply.  She had been trying to avoid thinking of the poor demon all day, but the look on his face was burned into her head.  “The fool…”

Something in her tone made Miroku look down at her, concerned.  “What is it?”

A small smile tugging at her lips, she looked up at him and said, “You better not let Inu-Yasha know I’m telling you this.  He’d have my head.”

“Of course not, but what happened?”

“Well…  Myoga’s report got him scared.  Terrified, actually.  He may be a drunk, but he’s not a fool.  He knows that if this new threat makes itself known, everyone in the city is going to turn their eyes to him for aid, and he thinks he can’t give them the man they want.”

Miroku gripped her hand a little tighter.  “And what do you think?”

She kept her eyes on the ground.  “I don’t know.  I want to have faith in him, but that may just be desperation trying to take control over rationality.  Inu-Yasha was our best fighter, but now…  I’m afraid he’d show up at the last battle with a cigarette in one hand and a whiskey bottle in the other.  If he showed up at all.”

“Well…  We do have Kagome this time around.  Perhaps it would be best to put your faith in her.”

Sango shrugged.  “I find it difficult to do so when every other nurse before her has failed.  But still…  Even if she did, somehow, manage to cure Inu-Yasha, curing just his body isn’t enough.  His heart is still broken.  You should have seen the look on his face, Miroku, when he was talking; he can’t take another fight like that.  That would be the end of him.”

“I say again, Sango: Have faith in Kagome.  You’re passing her off as any other nurse, when she has already proven herself otherwise.  Just give her time.  She only started working with Inu-Yasha a mere five days ago.”

Sango turned to look up at him, studying him carefully.  “How do you do it?”

He smiled back at her, though a bit confused.  “Do what?”

“You’re so calm and relaxed.  We’ve got a new demon out there that can potentially lay waste to the city and our only offense is bailing on us, and yet all you can say is ‘have faith’.  You don’t even look worried.  How do you do it?”

“Well, it helps to have such a lovely woman by my side…”

“Ugh, forget it.  Let’s just get to work.”

Miroku hung back a bit as Sango strode ahead.  He had been quite honest in his statement; her presence kept him in control.  Except for his hands, of course.  Those two seemed to have a mind of their own concerning Sango.

“Miroku, I’ve got the rat in sight.”

He quickly jogged a couple steps to catch up with her, peeking down the alley she was crouched outside of.  Something furry, grey, and as big as the trashcans it was rummaging through was down there.  Its long, thin tail whipped around, bringing another can down with a crash as it searched for food.

“All right,” Sango whispered, pulling her pistol from her pocket.  “I’ll shoot it, then you paralyze it with a sutra so my other shot will hit, got it?  If it’s still alive, end things with a blow to the head.  That’s the best way to kill these vermin.”

“Yes sir.”

Shooting him a look of reproach, she dove into the mouth of the alley, Miroku following a mere step behind.  Brining Hiraikotsu up as the rat screeched at them, she fired one shot, which caught it in one eye and drove through the rest of its body with incredible force.  It started to cry out in pain, but Miroku had jumped in right after the bullet and slapped a sutra in the middle of its head.  Sparks flew off it as the rat struggled to move, but to no avail.  In the meantime, Sango’s shot, worthy of its nickname ‘Boomerang Bullet’, had swung back around, piercing the rat above its left thigh and bursting through the head, soon coming to rest in the opposite barrel of Sango’s gun.  Having long since collapsed to the ground, it gave a short struggle, which Miroku quickly put an end to with a sharp stab of his staff through the top of the skull.

“Well.  The deed is done.”  Turning back to Sango, who was blowing a wisp of smoke off her gun, he said, “You know, I’m a little disappointed.  That was far too easy.  However…”  A grin broke his features.  “We’ve still got it.  Perhaps we don’t need Inu-Yasha to save the city.  You and I make quite the formidable opponent.”

Sticking Hiraikotsu back in her pocket, Sango couldn’t resist grinning back at him.  “Yeah, right.  But, I have to admit--that was fun.  I needed it.”  Then, surprising him to no end, she walked up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  “Thank you.”

The two walked away from the scene hand-in-hand, Miroku with his staff slung over his shoulder.  “Say, would you care for some dinner?”

“My goodness, you do know how to show a girl a good time, don’t you?  A demon-kill, then a meal.  I just feel so special.”

“You should.  I don’t think I’ve ever given another girl such an evening like this.”

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Well, I hope you enjoyed the latest installment of Guilty Hero.  Stay tuned for the next chapter, when Kagome’s mettle and dedication are put to the test.  Thanks for reading, and please leave a review to tell me what you think!

Thank you to those who reviewed—you guys are awesome!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 13: Politics

Kagome, unbeknownst to Inu-Yasha, worked diligently over the next few weeks to make him as comfortable as possible in her presence.  The mere fact that she was a nurse had him on guard all the time, and the task was more difficult than she had originally thought.  Truthfully, he was only making the situation harder on himself.  Every time he lit a cigarette or poured a tumbler of whiskey that he probably could have gone without, he cast a sharp glance at her, daring her to comment.  Most times she ignored it, or smiled at him, biting her tongue.

However, due to patience that she didn’t even know she had, Inu-Yasha slowly relaxed in her company.   His childish attempts to rile her ceased, and an uneasy truce was struck between them.  Kagome could tell he was still waiting for her to slap a ban on his whiskey habit, but he no longer had his hackles raised, and often slipped into drunkenness in front of her with no concern of rebuke.

It was due to this progress that Kagome felt it was time to start building a friendship with the demon.  So, one brisk autumn day in the middle of November, she hesitantly approached the couch where Inu-Yasha sat, scowling at the flickering television.  He had just woken up an hour prior, and was nursing a slight hangover.

“Here,” she said softly, handing him a mug of coffee.  “I made a fresh pot.”

“Huh? Oh…”  Accepting the cup, he took a slow sip, and his pinched expression eased.  He glanced up at her, then quickly looked away and mumbled, “Thanks…”

“You’re welcome.”

This was an exchange that had gone on every morning for the past several days, although it did take Inu-Yasha almost a week before he learned to say ‘thank you’.  Normally, once the pleasantries were swapped, Kagome would bustle away and find another chore to busy herself with while he tried to sober up with her expertly-made beverage.  So today, when she sat down next to him on the couch, he was understandably confused.

Glancing oddly at her, he scooted further away, uncomfortable at their close proximity.  “What?” he growled irritably.

“Well…”  She looked down at her lap, where her hands were fidgeting anxiously.  “I wanted to ask you something.  I don’t want to ask too much of you, and I hate to be a bother, but…”

“But…?”  He was growing more and more anxious by her behavior.

Pulling her gaze from her lap, she stared pleadingly at him.  “I need to go grocery shopping today, and it is such a hassle to carry all those bags up the stairs by myself.  I’ve done it a couple of times now, and I’m just completely spent at the end.  So I was hoping you might go shopping with me today and lend a hand.  Perhaps we could stop and get lunch before hand, you know, and just get some fresh air, get out of this stuffy apartment for awhile…”

His anxiety leaking out upon hearing her explanation, he scowled and looked away, swallowing a mouthful of coffee.  “Absolutely not.  I’ll carry your damn bags up the stairs, but I ain’t going anywhere.”

“Please?  It’s just…  We’ve spent all this time in the apartment, and it’s such a lovely day outside.  It’s brisk, the sun’s shining, there’s a chill in the air…”

He stared at her as though she were an idiot.  “What part of that sentence would sound appealing to me?  Do I look like a bright, sun-shiny guy to you?”

She couldn’t resist a bit of laughter escaping at his comment.  “No,” she agreed, relaxing a bit.  “But really, I do need help.  You eat a lot, and those groceries are heavy.”

“I eat a lot because you make me eat a lot.”

“And it has done you a world of good.  You think I don’t notice, but I see how eager you are when I make you go on your rooftop runs.”  Kagome had started making him take a ‘rooftop run’ everyday to make certain he got fresh air and exercise.  He had rebelled the first few days.  However, he didn’t rebel against the three square meals a day rule she had placed forth, for the meals she cooked smelled too tantalizing to resist, and he soon found himself pacing his apartment with pent-up energy; it was astonishing the difference the food made.  And from then on, he no longer dreaded the moment when Kagome opened his apartment door and ordered him out.

He crossed his arms, taking care not to spill his coffee, and looked away, slightly put-out.  She did have a point, much as he hated to admit.  He had grown to love the feel and the bite of the winter wind against his face as he practically flew from rooftop to rooftop, running pell-mell without a care in the world.  He felt like it was his few, precious moments of true freedom, nothing like the false, transparent freedom that whiskey fooled him with every night; he felt he had Kagome to thank for that.

Glancing at her pleading expression out of the corner of his eye, his scowl deepened.  His conscience was telling him to give in to her, while his common sense railed against it, reminding him that there were several very good reasons why he should not go out in public during the day.

It was taking him so long to respond that finally Kagome sighed and stood up, giving him a disappointed smile.  “Never mind, it’s not a big deal.  I’ll just give you a call when I’m done, and maybe you could meet me out—“

“I’ll go.”

She abruptly stopped talking at the interruption.  “What?”

He glared up at her.  “I said I’ll go.  But we aren’t getting lunch, we aren’t gonna window- shop, and we aren’t leaving until this damn hangover goes away, got it?”

Her smile quickly brightening, she nodded in consent.  “Got it.”

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Inu-Yasha’s headache didn’t break until well after lunch, but once it did, he grudgingly emerged from the bedroom and met Kagome at the door, cramming a baseball cap on his head and slipping on a pair of sunglasses.  Kagome watched with a slight frown, concerned that he still wasn’t feeling well.  She knew that hangovers made him sensitive to light and sound, and wondered if he was adding the garments as protection for his senses.

“Are you sure you’re feeling well enough to go?  I really can go by myself—“

A harsh growl cut her off.  “I’m fine, dammit.  Now let’s leave before I change my mind.”  And he stalked out of the apartment without her.

Blinking in surprise, she shut the door and quickly followed after him, taking the stairs two at a time until she caught up.  His annoying habit of leaping down seven stories and leaving her to walk down the stairs was a thing of the past.  She hadn’t said anything to him about it, for they didn’t often leave his apartment together, but he suddenly stopped doing it one day, telling her that he got tired of waiting for her at her car while she ‘dilly-dallied’.

The trip to the ground floor was made in silence, but once outside Inu-Yasha made for her car, waiting expectantly for her to unlock it.

“Actually, I’m not going to take the car,” she informed him, making no move to reach into her purse for her keys.  “It’s so nice out, I thought we would walk.”

“Walk?” he repeated incredulously.  “You want to walk?”

“Well, yes!  I know it will be annoying, carrying those bags back, but you’re a tough guy, you can handle it.”

He didn’t seem to notice her last statement.  “So… We’re not taking the car?”

She was starting to grow confused by his reaction, for he didn’t seem to be angry at all, but rather worried.  “Um, no.  We’re walking.  It’s good for you.”

Taking one last glance at the car, he slowly stepped away from it and mumbled, “No car.  Fine.  Let’s go.”

Kagome set the pace, taking a leisurely stroll down the sidewalk, hoping to set him at ease.  He had grown surprisingly tense , and was already lighting a cigarette between slightly trembling fingers.  Every time someone passed by, he gave a slight twitch that did not go unnoticed by her, and then took a nervous drag of his smoke, clearly trying to calm his nerves.  Figuring that he simply wasn’t used to being around so many people, she decided to act as naturally as possible, wanting to give him some bit of familiarity in a place where he clearly felt uncomfortable.

“Ahhh!” she said suddenly, stretching wide.  “Isn’t it beautiful today?  The sun’s so warm, but there’s the bite of winter and the smell of snow in the wind…  I just love this kind of weather!”

“Mm.” He merely grunted.

Smiling at him, she continued with a new conversation topic, one he might more easily relate to.  “So, you don’t have to worry about being out too long.  I have to meet up with Sango and Miroku at five for a performance review, so that gives us…”  She checked her watch.  “Two hours.”

“Performance review?”

“Yes.  And, to be honest, I’m rather nervous.  I’ve never had a performance review before.  I hope I do well…”

Inu-Yasha flushed and stared at his shoes; he knew that her review depended upon his progress, and he really was uncertain if Sango and Miroku would see much progress made.  He may be eating properly and getting a bit more exercise, but his drinking, which he knew was their main concern, had not been curbed a jot.  He still ended up drunk on his couch almost every evening, with Kagome sitting quietly nearby, not doing a thing.  While her silence certainly confused him, for no other nurse had lasted a day without reprimanding him, he rather enjoyed it.  But it was sure to hurt her in this review.

“You’ll do fine…” he muttered gruffly, flicking some ash off the tip of his cigarette.  “Sango and Miroku, they put on a tough front, but they’re a couple of damn softies.”

Kagome looked at him, pleasantly surprised.  She hadn’t expected words of encouragement coming from him, of all people.  “… Thank you.”

Flushing darker, he quickly turned away and glanced around, anywhere but her direction.  He caught sight of a hamburger stand ahead and blurted, “I’m hungry.”

“What?  You said you didn’t want to get lunch—“

“Well, I changed my mind.  Here—“  He shoved a couple bills in her hand.  “Get whatever you like.  I want a cheeseburger with the works.  You get ‘em while I grab a bench.”  And then he strode off, leaving her to walk over to the vendor with a bewildered expression.

Reaching a bench a few paces away, he flopped down and put his head in his hands, letting out an audible groan.  This trip outside was becoming more stressful than he had anticipated.  It had been a long time since he had felt so flustered around a girl, and the feeling caught him off-guard.  Glancing over at her to make sure she wasn’t watching, he tugged his flask out of his back pocket and took a long swig in an effort to relax.  It was foolish to let such a tiny thing bother him, but…  He liked making her smile.  It wasn’t something he was often able to do, and he took pride in it when he did.  But it had been years since a girl had affected him in such a way, and he simply didn’t know what to do.

Taking one last swallow, he quickly screwed the cap back on his flask and tucked back in his pocket, then took a long drag of his cigarette to cover up the whiskey on his breath before Kagome returned, carrying two foil-wrapped burgers.

“Here you go—a cheeseburger with the works.”

Silently accepting the sandwich, he dropped his cigarette and ground it out, then slowly tugged the wrapping off and started to nibble.  Kagome joined him on the bench, tearing the foil off her own burger and taking an enormous bite.  Looking over as she chewed with her eyes closed in pleasure, he raised an eyebrow.

“What?” she mumbled around the meat.  “I was starving.  I’m so glad you mentioned something, or else I might have eaten my own arm.”

He snorted, then went back to his own meal, and the pair ate in silence.  He was able to calm down by the time they finished, which had really been his only reason for demanding a hamburger in the first place, and as soon as the last bite was gone he stood up, obviously ready to go.

“I’m coming, I’m coming.”  Kagome grabbed her purse and tossed her wrapper in a nearby trashcan.  “Thanks for picking up the tab, by the way; you didn’t have to do that.”

Shrugging apathetically, he grunted, “No big deal.  Now let’s go, I want to get home as soon as possible.  It’s too busy out here.”

She nodded and quickly fell into step beside him.  “Yeah, you’re right; it’s strangely busy out today.  Is there some event going on?  I didn’t read anything in the paper…”

The closer they got to the center of town, the busier and more numerous the crowds became.  Inu-Yasha, who had slowly relaxed during their lunch, was now flexing his hands into fists, nervous and jumpy. He shied away from the vast numbers of people pressing in on them, and had to swallow a growl every time someone bumped into him.  Constantly checking to make certain his hat was on straight and his sunglasses were set firmly on his face, he moaned when Kagome finally spotted the reason for the crowds.

“Hey, look over there!  There’s some sort of tent set up!  I wonder what it’s for…”

“Well, it ain’t any of my business, so let’s get going.”  He tried to walk in the opposite direction of the tent, but Kagome snagged his arm and turned him back around.

“No, no, it is your business!  Look, it’s some candidate for the mayor’s office doing a rally.  You can see the banner from back here—‘Unity Under Peace’.  Do you know which candidate that is?”

“Look, Kagome, I really don’t want to—“

“Come on, let’s try and get closer.  This is stuff you need to be hearing.”

As she dragged him closer through the crowd he tried to protest, but the din was unbelievable, and he couldn’t be heard.

“—Certainly, this city found peace the day the demon Naraku was vanquished and a truce was made,” the candidate was shouting, his voice amplified to a painful decibel in Inu-Yasha’s ears by the numerous speakers set up around the perimeter of the tent.  “But what about union between the demons and humans?  There has never been that final joining of the two!  This city has, for too long, been following the politics of ‘separate but equal’ concerning the lives of its demon and human populations!  It is time to end it!  It is time to bring unity under peace!!  If we can coexist in harmony, why can we not live together in that same harmony?”  This brought forth a roar of approval from the crowd, who were clearly a mixed group of demons and demon rights activists. 

Inu-Yasha stared around him, panicked at the sight of so many people riled up; he knew he should not be standing in the middle of this particular rally.  Being a half-demon, he was often begged to bridge the gap between demons and humans in the city; many government officials had approached the Order inquiring for his services for their campaign, but had always been turned away, for the Order needed to maintain a low profile.  He had been instructed, very clearly and on several occasions by Sango and Miroku, to never publicly show favor for any candidate unless given permission by them.  His support could make or break a candidate, and the entire Order could get in deep trouble.

“Dammit, Kagome, we need to leave now!” he snarled, trying to pull her away, but she still couldn’t hear him, and her attention was fixed on the candidate.

“If we were to join our considerable forces, both the humans and demons of the city would profit!  Our city would grow in fame as the only place in the world with a mixed population!  We would draw in tourists, money, and create jobs!  But none of that can fall into place without ---“  The candidate held his microphone out to the crowd, who obediently roared back, “Unity Under Peace!!”  They erupted into cheering and applause, making such a din that Inu-Yasha couldn’t handle the noise.

He staggered back, hunched over, and it was then when the worst happened.  A rather overzealous attendee was jumping up and down, roaring his approval and waving his arms, and Inu-Yasha stepped back into his movement.  He got slapped on the head, which knocked off his cap and glasses, exposing his triangular ears and golden eyes for the entire rally to see.

Kagome was by his side in a second, concerned by his reaction to the sounds.  “Inu-Yasha!” she cried, shouting to be heard over the noise.  “Are you all right?  What’s happened?”

“Don’t say my name, fool!” he hissed, but it was too late.  The damage was done.  Several heads turned in their direction at the mention of his name, and the moment they spotted his white hair, chaos ensued.  He vaguely heard the candidate shouting, “Bring him forward!”, and several hands grabbed him and pulled him towards the stage; they were so numerous that he was unable to resist. 

When he reached the stage, he was urgently gestured forward by the candidate, and he had no other choice but to climb onstage and face the crowd that had now fallen silent, waiting with baited breath to see what would happen next.

Kagome, who was rather flustered by the rapid change of events that had spun out of her control, managed to catch Inu-Yasha’s eye from across the crowd, sending him a confused look.  However, what she got in return was a glare, burning with fury and hatred; he was trapped, and he was blaming her for it.

“Inu-Yasha,” the candidate said into the microphone, bringing the half-demon’s attention back to the rally.  Looking at the candidate, he was finally able to get a better look at his face; he was very handsome, with dark hair and a mole under his left eye, and quite young, but the look on his face was so confident and intelligent that the man’s age seemed to make no difference in his campaign.

“This is the half-demon who has saved our blessed city.  This is the half-demon that brought about the peace that we so desperately needed.  This half-demon is the bridge between humans and demons!!  He is the embodiment of our exact goal!  Unity Under Peace!!” he shouted again with the crowd roaring along.

Grasping Inu-Yasha around the shoulders with a grip like iron, he said brightly, “Inu-Yasha, your presence here today gives the people of this city the chance to show you their gratitude for all you have done.  It is truly an honor to have you here.”

This candidate was incredibly charismatic, and it gave him an eerie control over the crowd that Inu-Yasha had never seen in another official.  They were fired up, desperate for more.  At those words, the rally erupted into applause that lasted for several seconds, cheering and whooping.  Fighting as hard as he could to hold his temper down, he smiled through clenched teeth and gave a half-hearted wave, which only served to make the cheering even louder.

At last, when the shouting and applause finally died down, the candidate said, “It is, with this hero, the ‘Savior of the City’, that I make my final statement.  This city needs to be united, humans and demons as one.  With Inu-Yasha’s support and I at the head, that goal can be achieved.  So remember, vote for me as Mayor Muso, and this city will have—“

“UNITY UNDER PEACE!!!”  And the crowd was set off again.  Laughing at the enthusiasm, Muso waved regally, then nudged Inu-Yasha in the side.  “Wave,” he whispered out of the side of his mouth, his pearly-white smile never breaking.  “Give them what they want.”

Inu-Yasha, whose fists were clenched at his sides, could hardly keep the fixed smile on his face, let alone wave.  He stiffly shook his head in disagreement and stared out at the crowd, waiting for them to disperse.  It took several minutes, but when Muso finally turned away and turned off his microphone, they realized there was nothing more, and finally their numbers dwindled.

“Hey, thanks for showing up,” Muso said, no longer sounding as fake as he was when the mike was on and all eyes were on him.  He clapped Inu-Yasha on the back and held out a hand for him to shake.  “Your appearance made all the difference.  I had almost lost them until you came along.  It’s nice to have your support.”

“Keep your damn paws off me, you sleazy bastard.  You’re fooling no one.”  Without hundreds of eyes on him, Inu-Yasha was finally able to show the anger that had been building exponentially throughout the ordeal.  Smacking Muso’s hand off his back with enough force that he heard a satisfying pop! from the human’s wrist, he stormed off the stage, nearly knocking over a member of the sound crew.

“Inu-Yasha…” Kagome said softly as he approached her, his stiff figure radiating fury as he brushed aside a few dawdlers.  “I had no idea…”

“You need to shut up,” he snapped, reaching down to snag his trampled hat and leaving his hopelessly crushed glasses on the floor.  Cramming it on his head to at least cover up his ears, he started to walk away from her, but she quickly caught his arm.

“Inu-Yasha, wait, plea—“  Her voice caught in her throat when he turned to look at her, for his expression was utterly terrifying.  She involuntarily released her grip on his arm, and soon he was gone, leaving her standing alone under the tent.

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Please, leave a review and let me know your thoughts.  If anything was too confusing (because politics confuse me just as much as the next person), review or send me a pm and I will do my best to clear things up.  Thanks for reading.

Thank you so much to those who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 14: Repercussions

Kagome slowly eased down onto the bench outside of the Order’s headquarters, trying to stop her legs from trembling.  She was still frightened by Inu-Yasha’s expression, almost a full hour after the rally had ended.  She had never seen him that angry before, even when he first found out that she had been assigned as his personal nurse.

Never one to hold off when an apology was due, even though she was afraid of his temper, she had given him only a few minutes’ head start when the rally was over, time enough to collect her thoughts and find her voice.  Then she followed after him.  It was rather difficult, for he had taken to the rooftops once he had recovered his hat, so she was forced to scour the city on foot, and was unsuccessful.  The only place she knew he liked to go was the Cornerstone Tap, but when she approached it, she saw the bar was closed until five o’ clock, and the demon was nowhere in sight.  Growing more anxious as time passed, she was finally forced to give up her search and report to the Order for her scheduled performance review, tired, sweaty, and very nervous.

Checking her watch, she saw that she still had a couple minutes before she needed to show.  With a heavy sigh, she wiped her forehead with her coat sleeve.  She was just too worked up to go in there and talk about her job performance.  She hated it when anyone was angry with her, but seeing Inu-Yasha that upset…

An involuntary shiver coursed through her body.  She couldn’t get rid of the feeling of his fire-gold eyes burning with fury into her.  She simply couldn’t understand it.  Yes, had she been pulled onstage, she probably would have been quite upset, but for him to be that incensed there had to be another reason.  From their short walk, it had been easy to tell that he wasn’t comfortable around people, which could have played a part in his temper…

Letting out a soft moan, she put her head in her hands.  It was difficult to shake that awful feeling of fear.  It was her job as a nurse to be there for her patient, but that task was hard to do when she was in fear of being attacked by him. 

Suddenly, she sat up straight, her hands clenched into fists on her knees.  Now was not to the time show weakness or any lack of confidence; Inu-Yasha still needed help, and he wouldn’t get any if she did poorly on this review.  She needed to prove to Sango and Miroku that she could indeed handle the temperamental half-demon in all his antics, despite her own feelings.  So she squared her shoulders, set her mouth in a determined line, and strode confidently into the headquarters, walking right up to Rin’s desk.

“Are Sango and Miroku ready for me now?” she asked abruptly, the look in her eye frightening the poor girl behind the counter.

“U-um…  Kagome Higurashi, right?” Rin asked, shuffling through her papers for the schedule.  “You’re a few minutes early, but you can go on up.  They’re in their office.”

Nodding, Kagome replied, “Thank you,” then strode briskly for the elevator, punching the button for the top floor.  Upon arrival, she knocked sharply on the door to their office, her other hand clutching the handle of her bag.  Contrary to the pep talk she had given herself, she was still nervous.

“Come in,” came Sango’s brusque voice, and, even though Kagome knew that Sango always sounded that way when she was working, she still had to take a deep breath to calm down before entering the room.

“Ah!  Miss Kagome!  Is it that time already?”  Miroku looked up from a rather large stack of paperwork to glance at the clock.  “Oh, you’re a bit early.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized.  “I can go wait outside…”

“No, no…  Have a seat, we’ll be with you in a minute…”

Heeding his request, Kagome sat down on the couch against the far wall, facing their desks.  She noticed that both of them were very distracted; both of their desks were a mess of paperwork and half-eaten takeout boxes.  Sango hadn’t even glanced up when she had come in, and both were holding their foreheads in frustration as they scribbled on some forms.

It was pushing five minutes before Miroku finally sighed and set his pen down, rubbing his eyes.  “That’s it…” he groaned as he sat back in his chair.  “I’ve had enough, Sango.  Enough with the paperwork.  Let’s do Miss Kagome’s performance review.”

Sango nodded silently in reply, sitting up straight and popping her back loud enough for even Kagome to hear; clearly, she had been hunched over for quite some time.  Quickly sliding back to a filing cabinet, she pulled out a manila folder and tossed it onto her desk, opening it and starting to read a few papers.  Miroku, giving her a slightly irritated glance, turned and smiled at Kagome.

“I’m afraid you caught us at a rather hectic moment.  Let’s try that greeting again: Hello, Kagome.  How are you doing today?”

“Oh, um, fine.  And you?”

“Just lovely.  Sango and I have been here for…  What’s it been, about thirteen hours?  Yes, that sounds right.  Pure bliss, every moment.”

Kagome looked at him in concern.  “What’s happened?  Has there been a demon attack?”

“Never mind that, Kagome.  We have a limited amount of time, and we need to do this review.  So let’s begin.”  Sango’s tone was very clipped and abrupt; she almost sounded like she was angry at Kagome.  “First off: dedication to the job.  How much time do you spend with Inu-Yasha?”

Disconcerted by Sango’s coldness and lack of familiarity, Kagome glanced over at Miroku and saw that he was frowning at Sango, clearly displeased by her behavior.  “Um, I have spent every day with him since I first started the job.  I arrive at his apartment around eight in the morning, and I don’t leave until he’s asleep.  Sometimes it’s so late that I don’t even go home, I just spend the night.”

Miroku looked at her in surprise.  “You do know that you have one day a week off, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she replied.  “I did take one during my second week of work.  But Inu-Yasha got a little excited by my disappearance, and the next day when I returned was rather unpleasant for both of us.”  She grimaced a bit at the memory.  “Besides, I’m there to help him.  I can’t help him very well if I go off all the time, can I?”

“No, that’s true.”  Seemingly impressed by the comment, Miroku turned to Sango and cleared his throat expectantly.  Glaring at him, she grudgingly made a note on the review sheet.

“Concerning the amount of time spent with him,” she asked, “how are the two of you getting along?”

Thinking of that afternoon, Kagome had to swallow the lump in her throat before speaking.  “Relatively well.  It took him a while to warm up to me, but I kept a low profile until he approached me.  We haven’t had too many arguments, and he seems to like being around me.”  She could hardly get out the last statement, for the events at the rally had proved otherwise, but she couldn’t base a full month’s work on one day.

“Hm.”  Even Sango appeared impressed.  Inu-Yasha had never ‘warmed up’ to any of his previous nurses.  “Next question,” she said, putting her stern expression back into place.  “You initially told us that Inu-Yasha’s main problems were alcoholism and poor dietary habits.  Let’s start with his diet: how have you changed it?”

This brought a laugh out of Kagome, although it was possibly more due to anxiety than anything else.  “That one was an easy thing to fix.  The first few meals I made he refused to eat, but then I started fixing foods that had a very strong smell.  With his demon-enhanced senses, he couldn’t resist, and from then on he’s been eating quite well.”

“And has he shown any improvements because of it?”

“Oh, yes.  He’s putting on weight, first of all, and it’s also given him more energy.  I now send him on a daily run over the rooftops so he can release some of that energy.  He really enjoys it.”

“Very good!  What wonderful news, right Sango?”  Miroku was quite pleased and smiled happily at his partner.  However, she stared silently at him, a frown marring her features.  Kagome was beginning to suspect that the two were in the middle of a disagreement.

“Moving on,” Sango said, finally sounding like she was more interested in the proceedings.  This was a part she had been itching to get to since the review started.  Kagome looked over at Miroku and saw that he had a hand over his face, obviously frustrated.  What was going on between them?

“His alcoholism,” Sango continued, quickly grabbing Kagome’s attention.  “Just what exactly have you been doing to help that?”  Her tone was accusatory, and Kagome realized that the review was about to take a turn for the worse.

Sango and Miroku called at least twice a week to keep track of Inu-Yasha’s progress, which Kagome had agreed to when she took the job.  However, the problem was that they usually called in the late evening hours, when Inu-Yasha was several hours deep in a whiskey  bottle.  And since he was always closest to the phone, they were greeted twice a week for four weeks by a drunken half-demon.  It certainly did not bode well for Kagome.

She had to take a deep breath before speaking.  She was confident in her plan for his alcoholism, but she knew that it would be difficult for these two to have faith in it; they were jaded from so many years of failure.  “Well…” she began slowly, “I must admit, it hasn’t been my main concern.”

“What?”  Even Miroku was not happy with that reply.  “Kagome, this is a serious problem!  You, as a nurse, should know that!  You knew that when you accepted the job; I don’t understand why you haven’t been working on it from day one!”

“Please.”  She held up her hands to stop them from speaking.  “Please, let me explain myself.”

“Yes, please do,” Sango replied seriously.  “I’m actually curious if you even have a plan at all.  You do know that it’s been an entire month since you started working with him?  If you’ve been so successful on his eating habits, why hasn’t there been a change in his drinking habits?  Or have you assumed that since you’ve been so successful in one area that you could ease up in another without repercussions?”

“Sango,” Miroku said quietly.  “Let her speak.”

Casting another glare at him, she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, looking expectantly at Kagome.

Kagome, glancing at Miroku and receiving an encouraging nod, began to speak.  “After my first few days with him, I really started researching on alcoholism so I could construct a plan specific to Inu-Yasha.  I found out some things that were very helpful.  First, there are two types of addictions: physical and mental.  Physical is when the body actually requires the addiction to function—in Inu-Yasha’s case, it’s alcohol.  A mental addiction is when the user thinks he needs alcohol to function.  Now, Inu-Yasha’s alcoholism is so ingrained, he has both types of addiction.  Curing him physically, while not easy, is simpler to do than curing him mentally.  But we have to cure his mental addiction before we can tackle his physical addiction.”

“And how do we do that?” Miroku asked, quite curious.

“We have to uncover the reason he continues to drink.”  Kagome’s hands were twisting nervously in her lap; Sango was staring down at her, her gaze unrelenting.

“We already know that,” she snapped harshly, tapping her pen against her desk.  “He feels guilty over Kikyo’s murder and can’t move on.”

Kagome shook her head.  “See, I think there’s more to it.  There’s something that’s bothering him, deep down…  I can’t explain it.  I know he does feel guilt over Kikyo’s death, but his actions aren’t those of a grieving man…”

“Grief does funny things to people, Kagome,” Sango replied, unconvinced.  “Inu-Yasha’s taking it harder than most, is all.”

Miroku, wanting to prevent an argument between the two women, for Kagome was clearly prepared to defend herself, quickly cleared his throat and spoke up.  “Assuming that there is a deeper meaning, what is the rest of your plan, Kagome?”

Gripping the couch cushions to try and control her temper, for Sango was frustrating her to no end, Kagome replied, “I need to find out what his real reason is for drinking so much.  However, he is a very guarded person.  Right now, I’m simply trying to be his friend.  I’m not trying to curb his drinking, I’m not trying to nag him about smoking, I’m just trying to be a constant, friendly presence in his life.  The more he trusts me, the easier it will be for him to open up.  And when he does open up, when he does tell me why he drinks, I can take steps to reverse those feelings, and hopefully take care of his mental addiction.”

“Why do  you have to cure his mental addiction first?  Why can’t you just fix his physical addiction?”  The accusation dripping from Sango’s voice finally broke Kagome’s patience. 

Fixing her superior with a harsh glare, she asked hotly, “Why do you want to rush things so much?  Curing seven years of alcoholism doesn’t take just a couple months, you know.”

“Because the city needs its savior back, and it needs him back now!” Sango snapped in reply, slamming her pen down and matching Kagome’s glare.

“Sango, we’ve been over this—“ Miroku tried to say, but Sango cut him off.

“No, Miroku, Kagome needs to know the urgency of the situation!”

Kagome, although still angry, started to grow concerned.  “What situation?”

Gently pushing Sango back into her seat, Miroku informed Kagome, “The situation at the quarry.  Our lookouts have reported the escape of two powerful demons, but we have been unable to locate them once they left the quarry’s perimeter.  There have also been the reports of two human deaths, their wounds made from a weapon that we are unfamiliar with.  We fear it’s only the beginning of worse things to come.”

“Yes,” Sango agreed, still flushed from anger.  “And we need Inu-Yasha sober to protect the city from the oncoming danger.  He’s our best fighter, and with this new threat, we need him more than ever.  We need him sober, and we need him sober soon.”

Slightly calmer, Kagome nodded.  “I understand your situation, but I’m afraid I can’t rush things.  This rise of a new demon has come at an unfortunate time, but it can’t be helped.  I refuse to push Inu-Yasha too far.”

“Why?” Sango demanded, ignoring Miroku’s attempts to calm her down.  “Why can’t you just take away the booze?”  Even in her ears, it sounded unreasonable, but she was unwilling to listen to reason.  Though she hated to show it, these demon attacks had her scared, and she was desperate for the protection that she wasn’t sure Inu-Yasha was capable of giving.

Kagome pursed her lips, her own temper breaking once again.  “If I were to do that, if I were to wean him off whiskey, he would still have his mental block.  Even if he stayed sober long enough to come rushing in to the city’s rescue and fend off this new demon, his sobriety certainly wouldn’t be permanent.  Once the fighting is over and life goes back to normal, he would slip back into his old habits and turn back into a drunk in no time flat.  Why?  Because he never really wanted to sober up in the first place.  Don’t you understand, Sango?  He wants to be a drunk.  If I’m to do anything permanent, I have to hear him say ‘I don’t want to drink’.  Then, and only then, can anything permanent be done.”

She fixed an effectively silenced Sango with a pointed glare.  “Would you rather I give him a quick fix and then have him go back to his old life once the fighting’s over?  Or would you rather I give him the help he needs for a lifetime of sobriety?”

Silence fell over the cramped office.  Sango was fighting back tears while an impressed Miroku had a comforting arm over her shoulders, staring at Kagome with a newfound respect.

Suddenly, a knock sounded on the door, and Rin carefully stuck her head in, looking quite sheepish.

“This really isn’t a good time, Rin,” Miroku told her quietly, looking a little displeased by the interruption.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologized, “but it’s important.  There’s something you have to see on the news.”  And then she quickly ducked out of the office, clearly not wanting to be around in the coming time.

More than a bit put-out, Miroku snagged the remote off the top of a filing cabinet and flipped on their dusty, rarely-used television in the corner.  Kagome shifted on the couch to get a better view of the TV, then blanched at the scene before her.

The newscaster’s voiceover was playing while a video of the mayoral rally showed on the screen, displaying a close-up of Muso and Inu-Yasha, side-by-side on the stage.  “—seems the reclusive Inu-Yasha has come out of his quiet life to show his support for the little-known candidate Muso, an advocate for demon rights and supporter of human/demon unification.  It’s no surprise the Savior of the City is eager to see unification for the peace he worked so hard to bring about.  But the question is, will Inu-Yasha’s support bring this practically unknown candidate into office?  Our political expert here in the studio is…”

Swallowing hard, Kagome slowly turned to look at her superiors.  Miroku had turned the volume down and was shaking his head, while Sango had her head in her hands.

“Kagome…” he said softly.  “Would you care to explain this?”

All of her anxiety returning, she said slowly, “I thought it would be good for Inu-Yasha and I to get out of the apartment, so I made him come along with me to grocery shop.  When we got to the center of town, I saw the rally going on, I remembered him reading about the elections in the paper, so I thought he’d be interested.  It was so loud, I couldn’t hear him talking, though, and…  Well, his hat and glasses got knocked off, and suddenly he was brought to the stage and…”  She waved her hand at the now silent image of the rally.  “That’s what happened.”

“Kagome, do you know what this means?”

She shook her head, staring down at her lap.

“This means that this Muso fellow is most likely going to be the next mayor of the city; support from Inu-Yasha is almost a guarantee that he’ll make it into office, since Inu-Yasha is so popular among the public.  He’s going to be the man that the Order works the closest with to ensure the city’s safety, and yet we don’t know a single thing about him, and it’s all thanks to you.  Dammit, Kagome, this is a hell of a situation to put us in!”

Kagome flushed, guilt stabbing at her for making such a foolish mistake.  But how was she to know that Inu-Yasha was so popular?  So popular, that he could get a man into office?  He had never mentioned the sway he held over the public.

“Do you not understand what we’re going to have to go through to undo what you’ve done?  The Order has to remain out from under the public eye and you’ve just about shoved us into the spotlight!  We’re going to have to make a formal statement, withdraw Inu-Yasha’s support…  The current mayor is going to be furious with us…”  With each task listed off to her, a new stab of guilt twisted in her gut.

“And what on earth were you thinking, taking him out in the middle of the day?” Sango demanded.  “He should never go out when that many people are about!  And besides, if you’re working so hard to be his friend, then you should know that he hates being around so many people!  He wears the hat and glasses because if anyone found out his identity, he’d be surrounded by people begging for autographs and souvenirs!  So instead, you put him in a dangerous situation, and he ends up in front of hundreds of people!  Why—“  Too frustrated to continue, Sango turned away, her head in her hands once more.

“I-I…”  Kagome, on the verge of tears, couldn’t think of a thing to say.  She’d had no idea the effect of a simply day of grocery shopping would cause.

“Kagome, please leave, we have work that needs to be done immediately.”  Miroku was unable to keep the anger from his voice.  “We’ll be in touch later with the results of your review.”

Nodding silently, she grabbed her bag and was out of the room in seconds, hardly able to get out fast enough.  She remained silent during the trip down on the elevator, although her face still burned from guilt and embarrassment—she had never suspected that her review would go that poorly.  In fact, she was awed by the fact that Sango and Miroku had not fired her on the spot for what she had done.

Unable to return the sympathetic smile Rin gave her as she walked out of the headquarters, she slowly trudged down the street, fighting tears the whole way.  She kept telling herself over and over that Sango and Miroku were overwhelmed and only blamed it on her because she was there, even though she was simply an uninformed victim, but it was hard to brush off their harsh words and accusations.  Especially on top Inu-Yasha’s anger towards her that day.  At least now she understood why he was so upset, but it still didn’t ease her conflicting emotions.

At last, after several minutes of walking, she realized that she really needed to apologize to Inu-Yasha, and make one thing right in a day full of wrongs.  Quickening her pace, she decided to stop by the Tap before heading back to his apartment, just in case he had retreated to the bar once it had opened, for it was well past five o’ clock.

Strongly wishing that she had taken her car in the first place that morning, for it could have possibly prevented most of the day’s problems, it took another fifteen minutes before she found herself outside the Tap.  A quick glance through the large windows in the front told her that any attempts to apologize would probably be brushed aside, much to her dismay.

 Inu-Yasha was there, pacing back and forth in front of the bar and waving his arms animatedly, nearly hitting Iro in the face with some hot cigarette ash.  He paused once to snatch a tumbler off the bar and drain the whole thing, cough once he finished, and then resume pacing.  Obviously upset and beyond a calm conversation, Kagome knew there was no hope to express her regrets. 

Her shoulders slumping in defeat, she went on to his apartment.  Perhaps he would be calm enough by the time he got home that she could apologize.  She just simply did not want to end this horrible day on such a dreadful note.  A simple apology would make everything so much better…

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

“Why th’ hell’d she do that t’ me?!” Inu-Yasha growled, swallowing another mouthful of whiskey.  He had been at the Tap for several hours now, and was still just as upset as when he first arrived.  By now he had drunk too much to keep pacing and was forced to sit down, but the complaints still flowed as freely as the liquor.  “All those people starin’ at me…  I hate bein’ in th’ spotlight!  I hate it!”

“I know you do, boy,” Iro said wearily, understandably tired of hearing him growl and complain for almost five hours.  It was unusual for the demon to be so worked up this late.  Normally, it only took an or hour or two of whiskey shots before his ruffled feathers smoothed out, but he seemed to be unable to let go this time around, and Iro had no choice but to listen as he ranted on.

“An’ now I’m gonna be in a lotta trouble with Sango ‘n’ Miroku—they told me t’ never support a canid—candad—cannadate!”

“Candidate?” Iro suggested helpfully.

“Yeah, that.  An’ that damn Kagome jus’ forced me into it!  I couldn’ do a damn thing, an’ ended up onstage!  How th’ hell does that figure out t’ you?!”

“It was simply beyond your control, boy.  That’s all.”  Actually, from what Iro was able to piece together from the demon’s disjointed rambling, it was an entirely preventable situation, but he wasn’t about to say anything.  Inu-Yasha was too volatile at the moment.

Suddenly, the phone rang, making both Iro and Inu-Yasha jump.  Inu-Yasha scowled at the appliance, but kept quiet and went back to his drink so Iro could speak in peace.  The bartender, rather relieved to have a moment of silence, walked over the wall where it hung.

“Hello?” he said gruffly.

“Iro,” came a very tense, but familiar voice from the other end.  “Is Inu-Yasha there?”

“Of course he is.  After a day like he’s had today, why wouldn’t he be?”

A heavy sigh met his ears.  “Of course he is.  All right, could you do me a favor?  Turn the TV on to the news channel, and then put him on.”

“All right.”  Iro held back a sigh as he set the phone on the bar and rummaged for the TV remote underneath the counter.  If Inu-Yasha was going to be in a lot of trouble with his bosses, and one of them was calling now, then he was sure he was about to listen to a very unpleasant phone conversation.

Flipping the television on to the news, he then returned to where the demon sat, tapping his fingers expectantly next to an empty tumbler.  “Phone’s for you,” he said shortly, pulling out the rapidly emptying whiskey bottle to refill Inu-Yasha’s drink.  “I think it’s Miroku.”

A growl escaping at the mention of the name, Inu-Yasha slid off his stool and, keeping a firm grip on the counter for support, staggered over to the wall and snatched up the phone.  “What th’ hell d’you think you’re doin’, callin’ me here?” he snarled, not even giving the man a chance to speak.

“What the hell do you think you were doing, going to a mayoral rally?” Miroku snapped back, just as angry as Inu-Yasha.  “Not only that, what do you think you were doing going out in broad daylight at all?!  This whole situation could have been avoided had you just stayed inside!  You should have just done your grocery shopping later on, why did you have to go in the middle of the day?”

“Wha’… How’d you know about that?” Inu-Yasha growled, confused.

“It all came out during Kagome’s performance review, fool.  Now look at the television.”

Sputtering at being called a fool, Inu-Yasha turned and squinted at the TV screen, slowly making out the image of the candidate, Muso, doing an interview with a news reporter.

“It’s such a great thing, to know that I have the support of such an important person to the city,” Muso was saying placidly to the camera.  “It’s amazing the sort of confidence such a thing can inspire in a person.  I’m honored to simply even have Inu-Yasha attend the rally.”  Taking a closer look at the man, Inu-Yasha realized that his arm was in a sling and his wrist was covered in a bright white cast.

“This Muso fellow has been more than happy to give interviews to any reporter who asks, and he’s been saying how proud he is of your endorsement.  Do you know how many phone calls Sango and I have had to make to try and reverse what you’ve done?!”

“I told that damn human wha’ I thought of him once th’ rally was over!” Inu-Yasha snapped in defense, making Iro wince as his claws gouged into the polished counter.  “He’s jus’ a damn bassurd, usin’ me like that!”

“Were you the one who broke his wrist?”

A savage smile broke across Inu-Yasha’s face.  “I was jus’ tryin’ t’ get my point across.”

“Well, you should consider yourself damn lucky that this fellow isn’t pressing charges against you!  Dammit, Inu-Yasha, why did you do this?!  Sango and I both got our asses handed to us on a platter by the mayor for pulling a stunt like this; it violated the agreement the Order has made with the government!  We’re supposed to keep as low-profile as possible!!  And we’re trying to hold back a rising war with demons, so you couldn’t have picked a better time to throw this at us!  I’m telling you this only once—pull another trick like this on us again, and you can say goodbye to your relationship with the Order.”  And then there was a loud click, followed by a dial tone.

“Dammit!”  Snarling, Inu-Yasha tossed the phone aside where it bounced off the wall and then dangled crazily by its cord.

“Hey, watch it,” Iro said warningly as the demon stumbled back to his stool and took a long swallow from his tumbler.  “If that phone breaks, I’m putting it on your tab.”

“Fine,” Inu-Yasha snapped.  “Jus’ one more thing t’ make this day better.”

For several moments, he was surprisingly quiet, looking to be deep in thought as he nursed his drink.  Finally, Iro got curious enough and said, “Whiskey for your thoughts.”

Glancing up, Inu-Yasha sighed and held his glass out for a refill.  “That damn woman… Kagome…  She’s th’ one who put me through alla this…  An’ don’ get me wrong, I’m mad as hell at her, but…”

“But?”

Rubbing his head in frustration, he suddenly growled, “Dammit, I think I like ‘er!!”

Completely taken aback, Iro’s normally stoic expression was replaced with a look of surprise.  Out of all the things he had heard the demon complain about this evening, this Kagome had been the source of them all.  He had never expected to hear those words coming out of Inu-Yasha’s mouth.

“I like bein’ around her,” Inu-Yasha continued, his ruddy cheeks flushing darker from embarrassment.  “She’s nice t’ me.  She doesn’ take my whiskey away, she doesn’t talk too much… Well, most o’ th’ the time.  An’ she always takes care o’ me.  But then she has t’ go an’ do somethin’ like this!!”  With a moan, he put his head in his hands, clearly confused.

Iro realized this was most likely the reason why the demon was so angry all evening; the girl he liked had caused him so much trouble, but he still liked her anyway.  It was a confusing situation for a man so immature in the ways of love.

“Look, boy, I’d be careful around this woman if I were you,” Iro told him sagely.  He had mentored several troubled souls over the years, and considered himself to be quite informed on the subject of women.  He was single, after all.

Inu-Yasha blearily looked up at him.  “Wha’ makes you say that?”

“Well, this girl doesn’t seem to be the right person for you, if you don’t mind my saying so.”  Holding up a hand to stop Inu-Yasha’s flow of protests, he continued on.  “Sure, she may be nice to you, and take care of you, whatever.  But would a true soulmate throw you to the dogs like she did today?  Shouldn’t she have known you well enough to know that you don’t like crowds?  That attending a rally would get you in trouble with your work?  A real friend would notice things like that.  She sounds like she was pushing you awfully hard to go, when you clearly didn’t want to.”

Oddly quiet, Inu-Yasha sipped at his drink.  Iro could tell what he said had made an impact.

“Look, I just think you need to be careful.  I mean, look at what happened the last time you got involved with a woman.”

Inu-Yasha dropped his glass onto the counter, its contents spilling everywhere, making Iro jump.  “What—boy, what’s wrong?”

Deathly pale and staring blankly ahead, he whispered hoarsely, “She’s got to go.”

Standing abruptly, he staggered out of the bar, bumping into several tables and chairs along the way.  But he was determined.  Kagome couldn’t stay any longer.  If she did, there was the danger of his fondness for her growing, and with the new demon increasing in power below them…  It would be like the situation with Kikyo all over again, and he couldn’t take that.  He just couldn’t.  Thus, there was only one solution to the problem—Kagome needed to go.

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Kagome sighed as she sat curled up on the couch in Inu-Yasha’s apartment, waiting for him to come.  It had been several hours, and she was terribly bored.  She didn’t dare turn on the television from fear of seeing the footage from the rally again, but there was only so many games of solitaire one could play before the game simply became redundant.  She had tried to call her mother and hopefully get a bit of comfort that only mothers could give, but no one answered the phone, and by now it was too late to try again.  So she was reduced to thinking about the best way to apologize to him and trying to keep herself awake.  The stresses of the day left her exhausted, but she was determined to get this apology out before she went to bed.

Finally, just as she started to nod off, the door to the apartment banged open, nearly making her leap from her skin in fright.  Staring at the doorway, her heart pounding, she was relieved to see it was Inu-Yasha, but when she saw the look on his face, the relief left as soon as it came.

It was clear he was drunk; so drunk that he shouldn’t have walked home from the bar, for he was leaning heavily against the doorframe, obviously dizzy.  But despite his weakness of body, the strength in his gaze was enough to turn her knees to jelly and her heart to quail.  He was furious with her, and the time of judgment had finally come.

“I-Inu-Yasha…” she said slowly, pushing herself off the couch and forcing herself to walk over to him.  A snarl stopped her dead in her tracks, and she couldn’t keep from quaking in fear.  She had never seen him so terrifying; it was even worse than at the rally.

Staggering forward a few steps, he swiped drunkenly for her arm, but she quickly backed up, too frightened to speak.

“You…” he growled hoarsely, staring hazily at her with a scowl on his face. “You gotta go…”

“I-Inu-Yasha, please,” she whispered, wanting to reach out to him but too afraid to do so.  “I’m so sorry about today, I-I was just—“

“Shut up!” he shouted, effectively silencing her.  “I don’ care!  You… jus’ go!  I don’ want you here anymore!  You’re a damn awful nurse, an’ you’ve been nothin’ but trouble for me!  I hate havin’ you around!  I wish you’d jus’ leave me alone!”

Kagome’s breath caught in her throat.  His statements cut her to the bone.  She had poured so much of herself into working with him, and to hear him say such things was more than she could bear.  “Inu-Yasha…” she whispered.  “Don’t do this… please…”

A snarl ripping from his throat, he roared, “Get out!!  Get out of here, dammit!!  Jus’ go!!”

Choking back a sob and unable to take any more, she snagged her purse from the table and rushed out of the apartment, brushing past him as she left.  He stared straight ahead the whole time, his face frozen in that hideous snarl.

It wasn’t until several moments after the door had slammed shut behind her that he moved.  Swaying on the spot, a whimper escaped him, and he whispered softly, “…Jus’ go…”  Then the carpet came up to meet him, there was a sharp pain in his head, and then everything went black.

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Jeez, that was intense.  But, I hope you enjoyed this latest installment, depressing as it was.  I hope it wasn’t too confusing, because there was a lot in there; it was a double-length chapter, after all.  Anyway, thanks for reading, and please leave a review!

Thank you to those who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 15: Resolution

Waking up was never a pleasant experience in Inu-Yasha’s life, for it meant breaking from the sweet bliss of unconsciousness into the harsh reality of life, which was usually accompanied by a headache and an upset stomach.  But this morning, due to a few extra factors, the event was made nigh unbearable.

Inu-Yasha found, once he slowly dragged himself kicking and screaming from the depths of sleep, that he had spent the entire night with his face shoved in the carpet, which hadn’t had a proper cleaning in years.  Certainly, Kagome had run the sweeper several times since her arrival and he was grateful that he wasn’t breathing in dust and crumbs, but the smell of it was enough to turn his stomach.

Shifting slightly to try and get away from the smell, he moaned  as his neck muscles complained at the attempt; he could barely move his head at all, his neck was so stiff.  He must’ve been asleep for quite some time for his muscles to be giving him this much pain.

Finally, unable to move far, he lay still on the carpet with his eyes shut, trying to get his bearings.  First off, what was he doing on the floor?  And why was he so uncomfortable?  Whenever he fell asleep in an unusual spot, such as the kitchen table or even just on the couch, Kagome came by and tucked a pillow under his head and covered him with a blanket.  Yet this time, there was nothing.  Come to think of it, why hadn’t Kagome found him yet?  Usually once he made a few signs that he was awake, she was by his side in a moment with a glass of her baking soda/water mixture and a strong cup of coffee.  Trying once again to move, and hopefully attract her attention, he found himself unsuccessful in both areas, and decided to stop thinking so much—it was making his head pound far more than necessary.

Ah, and his head…  There was a sharp stinging sensation in his left temple that had blossomed into a major annoyance since he had awoke, and it only added to the pounding behind his skull.  Groaning, he dragged open his eyes to see what the problem was, and discovered only his right eye was capable of opening; his left seemed to be glued shut.

Slowly, for he was having difficulty controlling his limbs at the moment, he brought his hand up to his eye and rubbed it.  He felt something dry and cracked, and when he pulled his hand away to study it, he saw there were brown flakes over his fingers.  Was it dried blood?  Gingerly fingering the tender spot on his temple, he suddenly hissed in pain, and his hand came away wet with blood.

Well, that clinched it.  It was time to get up and figure out what the hell was going on.  Stiff and sore from lying on the floor all night, he tried to get on his hands and knees, the first step to get into a standing position.  However, his progress was halted when he smacked his head on the underside of the side table, and was sent crashing back to the floor with a yelp.

With the throbbing pain coming from all directions in his head and his stomach churning faster and faster, he could bear it no longer.  On his feet in a moment, he ran stumbling down the hall, and made it to the bathroom sink just in time for the cause of all his suffering to come back up with a vengeance, making a wet, splattering sound in the basin.

Once the retching subsided, Inu-Yasha was able to lift his head and stare into the dirty glass of the mirror, and was unsurprised to see the wretched figure glaring back.  His cheeks were pale and sunken, a stark contrast to the dark shadows under his eyes, his right eye of which was a smoldering red color, so bloodshot that it hurt to see out of.  His left eye was indeed coated in dried blood that had come from a particularly nasty gash across his temple, the cut still bleeding sluggishly.  He must have slashed his head pretty good to have it still bleeding, even after giving his demon healing abilities an entire night to work.

Spitting a foul mouthful into the sink, he ran the faucet for a moment to clean it out, wincing from the harsh noise, then splashed his face with the icy water, scrubbing his eye until it was back in use.  Then he groped for the hand towel Kagome had insisted on hanging by the sink and wet it down, carefully scrubbing all the blood that had dripped down the rest of his face.  When he got near the cut, he attempted to clean it out, but the sting was like a knife being thrust into his skull, and a hiss escaped before he could block it.

“Damn it…” he whispered hoarsely, clutching the edges of the sink.  Unable to handle any added pain, he passed on cleaning the gash.  It could wait until the stampeding bulls in his head calmed down.  Shuffling over to the closet, he pulled out a band-aid from the first aid kit and, after a minute of fumbling with the wrapping, stuck it over the wound.  It was nowhere near large enough to cover the entire scratch, but it did prevent any more blood from streaming down his face.

With that temporary fix in place and both eyes functioning, he stumbled down the hall and into the kitchen, peering around for his nurse.  Where was she?  Surely she would have noticed by now that he was up.  He glanced at the red digital clock sitting on top of the television and saw that it was after two in the afternoon.  While that was late to sleep, even for him, she always liked to be there when he awoke.  He never understood why, for he always thought himself to be worse company than usual when he first rose to greet the day, but Kagome seemed to like it.  So why wasn’t she around?

As he made his way into the kitchen, he paused at the side table by his couch and saw a splash of red on the corner, knowing it was the cause of the gash.  He must’ve hit his head when he… passed out?  Fell asleep?  He couldn’t remember what had happened.

Averting his gaze from the attack that he knew was forthcoming, he flipped on the light switch in the kitchen, then slowly removed his hand as he gave his bloody eyes a chance to get used to the bright lights.  A quick scan around the kitchen told him that Kagome hadn’t even been in his apartment at all that day.  There was no newspaper on the table, no tea kettle on the stove, and no pot of coffee ready for him.  He rubbed his head, quite confused; she had never done this before.  Normally, if she was going to be gone for a day, she told him about it ahead of time.

Sighing, he shuffled around the table and put together a pot of coffee in a daze.  He felt rather detached from his body; there was something niggling at the back of his mind that kept breaking into his thoughts with a great urgency, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.  It had to have been from last night; he had little memory from it, only feelings.  Anger, mostly, then a deep sense of dread, then sadness.  He was unsure if he really wanted to know the cause of those emotions, but if they were the reason Kagome was missing, perhaps he should dwell on it for a while.

With the coffee maker gurgling and sputtering, he made his way back into the living room and flopped down on the couch, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes so he could think properly.  He decided to start with the first thing he could recall from the day before: Kagome convincing him to go grocery shopping.  Then there was the rally.

He couldn’t help but let loose a growl at the thought.  That rally was certainly the cause of the anger he remembered feeling, and still felt now.  But he was too ill to allow himself to get caught up in it, but he made a mental note to let her know his displeasure once he found out why she had disappeared.

All right, after the rally, what had he done?  His memories were starting to get fuzzy, but he could recall a mad dash over the city rooftops.  He had been silent during that run, but the rage was building exponentially.  The run ended on the roof of the Cornerstone Tap, and from then on, his mind was blank.  He could only assume that he had spent the evening inside, but…

What was it?  That nagging feeling of dread in the back of his mind was still there, demanding his attention.  So, despite the painful throbbing in his temples that refused to cease, he pinched his eyebrows together, deep in thought.  Slowly, images swam into view, brief sights that didn’t offer him much help.  Several views of the inside of a tumbler, Iro’s exasperated face, a blurry picture on a TV screen…  Growling again, he shook his head.  This wasn’t helping.  He decided to take a more logical approach. 

If he had drunk so much that he passed out on his living room floor, he probably shouldn’t have walked home in the first place.  Thus, something must have happened to make him come home.  Most likely, it was what was causing the feeling of dread.  Rubbing his face in frustration, he tried to conjure more memories. 

Let’s see…  The sight of endless flights of stairs struck him, but clearly that hadn’t discouraged him from getting up them.  Then…  An oddly clear image of Kagome popped out of nowhere.  Her expression of fear and anguish was incredibly vivid; so clear that Inu-Yasha quickly sat up, despite the protests his body made at the rapid movement.  What had he done? 

Suddenly, a knock at the door made him start in surprise.  Nobody bothered knocking on the door unless it was a total stranger.  Sango, Miroku, and Kagome all knew that he never locked the door, and could care less if they just barged in.  So, curious and more than a little irritated, he dragged himself off the couch and stumbled to the door, still a bit off-balance.

Swinging it open just as another knock sounded, he stared at the woman on his doorstep, quite surprised.  “Kagome…?” he asked stupidly.  She was looking down at her shoes, panting a little, and he realized that she had carried four bags of groceries up the stairs by herself, once again.  His cheeks flushing a little from guilt, he growled, “You don’t have to knock, you know.  And where the hell have you been?  I was—“

“You don’t have to worry,” she said softly, quietly but effectively silencing him.  “I’m not going to stay long.  I only wanted to drop off some food.  And I also…”  She stopped and took a deep breath. 

Inu-Yasha, studying her closely, realized she was trembling.  There was even a slight tremor in her voice.  He frowned, growing even more confused by her strange behavior.  Was she nervous?  But about what?

“… I just wanted to apologize.  For yesterday.  I honestly didn’t know the effects of my actions.  I didn’t mean to force you into anything, I was only hoping that we could have a pleasant time outside for a little while.”

His flush spread up to the tips of his ears.  Any anger he had felt towards her over the rally yesterday just seeped out at the sound of her barely concealed grief; it was very clear how badly she felt, and he couldn’t bear bringing her more misery by yelling at her.  Scuffing the toe of his sneaker against the carpet, he mumbled, “’Sokay.  It’s over now, anyway.”

She nodded, then finally dragged her gaze up from her shoes and held out the grocery bags.  “Well, I guess I’ll go now.  Here’s your—what did you do to your head?”

He stared blankly at her for a moment, confused by the sudden change.  “Huh?  Oh…”  He reached up to finger the band-aid over his ill-covered wound.   “I, um, I think I hit it on the side table…”

Frowning in disapproval, Kagome brushed past him into the apartment.  “Go sit down on the couch.  I’ll be there in a moment.”  Then she bustled into the kitchen and set the bags on the table, emerging once again to retrieve the first-aid kit from the bathroom.

Inu-Yasha, too confused by the whole conversation to argue, slowly eased himself back on the couch, puzzling over her odd behavior.  She was acting strangely… detached.  There was none of the warm, friendly kindness in her demeanor that he had grown very used to.  In fact, if he was reading her correctly, there was even a hint of fear in her actions…

It took her but a minute to get the kit, and she was soon sitting next to him on the couch, cupping his chin in her hand as she carefully peeled the blood-soaked band-aid off his forehead.  Her frown deepening when she saw the ugly gash, she silently opened the kit on her lap and pulled out an alcohol swab, gingerly dabbing it on the wound.

Inu-Yasha, between wincing at the painful stinging the alcohol caused, snuck quick looks at her, discouraged by her expression.  She was very distant and cold, and was refusing to look him in the eye.  He realized, while trying to catch her gaze, that her eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and he was fairly certain it wasn’t from a hangover like himself.  So… she had been crying?  The horrible feeling of guilt bit further and further into his chest as he watched her.  He even noticed that her trembling had increased since she came inside.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, he asked, “So, what do you say?  Will I live?”  It was an obvious sign he was uncomfortable; he never made jokes.  It was against his melancholy nature.

“If this gets infected, you may need stitches,” she replied stiffly, applying a large fold of gauze and some tape over the cut.  “Just keep it covered, and change the wrappings every morning.  Be sure to clean it with alcohol when you change it.”  Snapping the kit shut, she made to stand, but Inu-Yasha’s hand suddenly shot out and grabbed her wrist, keeping her in place.  She stared at him, her eyes wide with fear.

His heart aching to see her so frightened, he quickly released her, but his own gaze pleaded her to stay put.  “What did I do?” he asked softly.  “I…  I know I’ve done something to you, but I can’t remember…  Please, Kagome, what did I do?”

Swallowing hard, she debated on telling him.  She had only come to his apartment that day to make sure he had enough food last another couple of weeks, and to apologize for the rally.  Then she meant to leave him alone, as he so clearly requested of her the night before. 

Taking a deep breath, she told him what had happened, her voice devoid of emotion.  “You came in and informed me, under no uncertain terms, did you want me here anymore.  You said I was a ‘damn awful nurse’, and that I caused you nothing but trouble, and you hated having me around.  Then you ordered me to leave.  So… I did.”  Then she abruptly stood and went into the kitchen, leaving him sitting on the couch.

Once hidden behind the wall, she sighed and leaned against the counter, her body trembling and her heart fluttering wildly; as much as she hated it, she was terrified to be around him.  She couldn’t help but recall how furious his gaze had been, how harsh his words were, and how much hate he exuded.  To show up at his apartment today at all had taken more courage than she knew she had, but she couldn’t bear to end things without apologizing.

Breathing deep and slow to calm her nerves, she slowly went about putting the groceries away.  She knew that she should probably leave, but, despite her fear, she couldn’t help but take care of a few last things before leaving him to his own devices.  She would put the food away, make sure his coffee was ready, have the newspaper ready for him on the table, and then she would go.  From then on, she could only pray that he would eventually see how much better his life could be without a veil of whiskey covering his eyes.  Deep down in her heart, she knew it would probably never happen, but…

Just as a tear slid down her cheek, she heard him roughly clear his throat from the doorway.  Quickly wiping it away, she turned around, putting the stoic mask back on.  “Yes?”

He was staring down at the floor, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.  From what little of his face she could see that wasn’t obscured by his bangs, she could tell he was beet red.  For a couple moments, he was silent, but finally he blurted out words she had never expected to hear.

“I’m sorry, dammit!  I’m sorry I said those things!  I-I… I was just mad, and too damn drunk to be saying anything!  I…”  Trailing off, he rubbed the back of his head, clearly nervous.  “…I do like having you around,” he said softly, still staring at his shoes.  “You’re not an awful nurse.  You’re a great nurse, and you’ve… you’ve helped me a lot.  More than anyone else ever has.  So please… please stay.”

He swallowed hard once he finished, not daring to look up at her.  He was terribly embarrassed, making an emotional fool of himself like that, but he had meant every word, and if it was what it took to make Kagome to stay, then so be it.

Suddenly, Kagome was on him in a second, her arms wrapped tight around him and her face buried in his chest.  The smell of salt drifted to his nose, and he realized that she was crying.  “U-um…”

“I’m so sorry,” she wept, her voice muffled by his shirt.  “I didn’t know… I didn’t know…”

Feeling very awkward and unsure of what to do, Inu-Yasha jerkily put his arms around her, then almost withdrew, for the action seemed to make her weep harder.  But it felt right, so he tightened his embrace.

“I was afraid of you…” she whispered through her tears, the words cutting into him with a razor-sharp edge.  “Your face… it was so frightening… I was afraid you were going to hurt me.”

He swallowed hard, guilt eating away at him.  She was afraid of him?  That was the last thing in the world he wanted.  “Don’t be…” he murmured, resting his chin on her shoulder and hoping to put her at ease.  “I could never hurt you.  I don’t care if I’ve got ten bottles of booze in me and I’m mad as hell, I could never hurt you.  Who else would be there for me when I woke up?”  There he was going again, emotional fool that he was.  Damn, if Sango and Miroku ever found out about this, he would never live it down.  He heard a sniffle coming from Kagome, and when she spoke, she didn’t sound as choked up as before.

“Besides…” she said thickly, still not quite finished with the tears.  “You’d need me to make you coffee after that.”

A wry grin tugged at his lips, despite his smarting conscience, and he slowly allowed Kagome to pull away from his embrace.  He studied her closely, making certain she was no longer afraid; her trembling had ceased, and a faint smile was beginning to grow.  Putting her hand on the wet splotches on his shirt that her tears had caused, she said, “Sorry.”

He grunted, shrugging his shoulders.  “I need to change clothes anyway.”

Looking up at him, her eyes still bright, she said, “I really am sorry, you know.  It’s why I came back to your apartment last night.  I hate ending the day on such bad terms.”

He sighed, looking away.  “And I ruined it all.  I’m good at that.”

She smiled fully at him.  “No, you just don’t know any other way to deal with such strong emotions.  I can’t blame you for that.  But perhaps, we can work on finding other ways…?”

He growled slightly; that was a conversation he did not want to get into.  “We’ll discuss that later,” he muttered, dropping his arms.

Kagome nodded, clearly getting the hint, and went back to the table, rummaging through the bags once again.  “Well, why don’t you get cleaned up while I put these away and make some coffee.”

“I already made some coffee.”

She glanced up from the box of pasta she had been studying.  “You forgot to pour the water in, and you didn’t put a filter in before dumping the grounds.  I’ll make the coffee today.”

He started to scowl, but the expression eased when he saw the teasing glint in her eye.  “Fine,” he grumbled, turning to leave, he paused and asked over his shoulder, “By the way, how did your review go?”

It was her turn to scowl.  “We’ll discuss that later.”

Nodding, he left the kitchen, but as he walked down the hallway towards the restroom, he couldn’t help but grin.  The sense of relief flooding through him was unlike anything he had felt in years.  For once, things felt… right.

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Thanks for reading, and please, leave a review!

Thank you to those who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 16:  Make It Right

By the time Inu-Yasha emerged from the bathroom, freshly cleaned and dressed, Kagome was in her usual position at the kitchen table, mug of tea in hand and newspaper open in front of her.  He couldn’t help but give a soft sigh at the sense of normalcy flooding his senses; things had felt so wrong when he had gained consciousness earlier that he now was quite relieved so see such a common scene before him.

Kagome, glancing up when he entered the room, smiled at him and stood, pulling another chair out from the table.  “Here, why don’t you sit down.  I’ll get you some coffee.”

Quickly putting his usual scowl on, for he didn’t want her to know how close to content he was, he growled, “I can get my own coffee; I may be hungover but I’m not an invalid.”

Holding her hands up in surrender, she returned to her seat while he went over to the counter where the coffee maker sat.  He noticed that not only had she set out an empty mug for him, but she also had prepared her baking soda/water mixture right beside it.  Without saying a word, he snatched up the glass and drained it, then grimaced at the taste; it may work wonders, but the flavor left something to be desired.  Then he poured himself a steaming mug of coffee and went over to join her at the table.

“Feeling better?” she asked as he sat down across from her.

“Hmph.  Hardly.  This’s one hell of a hangover.”  He took a sip of coffee, then pulled it away and stared at the cup appreciatively.

Smiling, she informed him, “I made it extra-strong.  I thought you might need a little help waking up.”

With a short nod, he set the mug down on the table and stared at her, his expression quite serious.

A little confused by the change, she asked slowly, “What…?  Is it too strong?  I thought you preferred—“

“We need to talk,” he growled, his tone clipped and abrupt.

Kagome couldn’t help but gape at him.   That was twice today where words had come out of his mouth that she would never have expected.  A bit anxious at what topic of conversation he wanted to bring up, she slowly closed the newspaper and folded her hands on top of it, giving him her full attention.  “Okay,” she said calmly.  “What do you need to talk about?”

Glaring sternly at her, he said gruffly, “Something’s still botherin’ you.  And unless you’re still upset about this afternoon, then I bet it’s about your performance review.  So spill.”

“I-I…”  She felt very flustered at his blunt way of speaking.  She hadn’t intended on telling him about it; she was afraid for Sango and Miroku’s safety, for she had witnessed his terrible temper firsthand, and didn’t want to intentionally bring harm on them.  But the fact that he even noticed that she was still a little upset about the previous day…  A flush stained her cheeks.  She felt that, since he at least cared enough to ask about it, she should tell him.

“Look…” she began quietly.  “If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won’t hurt Sango or Miroku; they only did what needed to be done.  All right?  Do you promise?”

His glare deepened.  “I don’t make promises I can’t keep.  Now what happened?”

“Inu-Yasha.”  The severity of her tone caused his scowl to ease a bit.  “You will not hurt them.  They are your friends, and also your superiors.  You could be in a lot of trouble, so please, try and keep your temper.”

“Hmph.”  He leaned back in his chair and sipped his coffee.  “I’ve never hurt ‘em.  Just… roughed ‘em up a bit.  They deserved it, of course.”

“That’s not what Miroku said.”

Rubbing his forehead in irritation, he grunted, “I’ve never hurt ‘em that I remember.  I guess, just because I don’t remember it doesn’t mean they don’t…”  Abruptly, he shook his head and gave her a fierce stare.  “Now quit trying to change the subject and just tell me what happened during that damned review!  Do you really want to test my patience right now?”

Sighing, for she realized that the almost sweet demon from earlier was long gone, she held up her hands in defeat.  “All right, all right.  I’ll tell you what happened.”  With a deep breath, she began her explanation.

“Well, they first asked be about my dedication and how well we got along, and I did well enough on those.  Then they asked about the changes I made to your diet, which Miroku was quite impressed by.  And then they asked about…”  She trailed off.  She hated to make Inu-Yasha feel guilty.  She knew he was well aware that her review was hinged on his progress.

“My drinking,” he finished for her, a slight frown marring his features.  “I’d imagine you didn’t do so well…”

“Please, Inu-Yasha, don’t worry about it.  No, I didn’t do well, but I think Sango was hoping I’d have you completely sober and in fighting shape by tomorrow night; it was completely unreasonable of her to expect that, but even Miroku seemed to be having a tough time getting through to her.  I tried explaining my plan—“

“Which is?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Irrelevant.”  She still didn’t want him to know.   “Anyway, I tried explaining my plan, but she would have none of it.  She insisted on giving you a quick fix, and then you’d be ready to save the city.  It made no difference what I said…  However, she did keep pushing and pushing, until finally I could stand it no more.”

“What do you mean by ‘pushing’?” Inu-Yasha interrupted, a slight growl in his voice.

Sighing, Kagome replied, “She kept insisting for me to just take away your drink and have you sober up that way.  Which I found very rude and uncaring towards you;  I told her the consequences of doing that, but she still seemed oblivious.  She even yelled at me about it.  It seems there was a reason behind her actions, though; apparently there’s some new demon attack happening that they want you for.  But I told her I would not budge in my position, and she wasn’t happy about that.”

Looking slightly disgusted at the prospect of fighting a demon at the moment, he finally asked, “And where was Miroku during all this?”

“Trying to calm her down.”

Inu-Yasha’s eyes narrowed into a glare at the last statement.  He knew how Sango’s temper got carried away, much like his own, but he certainly didn’t like the thought of her going off on Kagome.  He had been the brunt of her attacks several times, and knew it was an unpleasant experience.

“Anyway, I finally was able to say something that got through to Sango, and she quieted down.  I realized that she was just frightened and stressed over this new attack or whatever, and was banking everything on you and taking it out on me.  I couldn’t stay angry at her for that.”

Keeping quiet, Inu-Yasha squirmed in his seat, guilt creeping up on him once again.  How many more times would he have to feel this today?  He’d only been conscious for a couple hours!  Finally, he grunted, “Is that all that happened?”  It seemed odd to him that Kagome would still be upset over just that.  Of course it was a poor review, but he didn’t think it was enough to bother her this long.

“Well…”  Her tone caused him to glance up, studying her closely.  She was staring down into her lap, her hands fidgeting on top of the newspaper.  “Right after that was when Rin came in and told Sango and Miroku to turn the news on.  They saw the whole rally…”  She swallowed hard; having Miroku, the calm and collected one of the pair, yell at her was still a very vivid memory.

“Miroku was the most angry.  He yelled at me for taking you there, and about the damage that had been done because of it.  He said that the candidate was someone they knew nothing about, that the mayor was going to get them in a lot of trouble, that I had created hours of work and phone calls for them to undo the damage…”  She noticed Inu-Yasha’s hand was resting in a tight fist next to his coffee mug and he was staring hard at the floor.

 “Then Sango yelled at me about taking you out in the middle of the day.  She even said a couple of things that… Well, really hurt my feelings, to be honest.”  Sango’s comment about her not really trying to be Inu-Yasha’s friend had hurt her the most; she had doing her best for weeks to bridge the wide gap between her and the half-demon, and it hurt to be questioned in such a way.

“After that, I was told to leave, and I would get my review later.  So I left.”  She sighed deeply.  “That’s that.”  Slowly glancing up to see the demon’s reaction, she waited patiently for him to say something, but nothing came.  He took a long sip of coffee, then stood and calmly left the room.

She sat at the table, quite confused by his reaction.  Was he not upset?  She almost felt insulted by it.  After a couple minutes, though, he came back into the kitchen, this time wearing his dirty sneakers and a baseball cap and a new pair of sunglasses.  As he drained the rest of his coffee, Kagome realized what he was about to do.

“Inu-Yasha, you aren’t going to the Order, are you?  Do not hurt Sango and Miroku, please!  They are just in a bad position right now, and they’re worried about the city’s safety!  You can’t blame them for that!”

He gave her an odd look over the top of his sunglasses.  “Who said anything about that?  I’m out of cigarettes; I’m just going to the convenience store.”

She stared at him, trying to tell if he was lying.  “Really?”

“Really.”

Finally, she said, “Are you sure you should be going out now?  I thought your hangover was pretty bad.  You might make yourself even more sick.”

A snarl tugged at his lips.  “Dammit, I have gone for hours without a smoke.  And since you refuse to buy them for me, I have to get them for myself, and I am not waiting any longer.  Don’t ask me to do that.”

She couldn’t help but smile a little, despite her skepticism; this conversation reminded her of the one they had back when he was at the hospital.  “All right,” she said in defeat, unfolding the newspaper once again.  “Just don’t stay out too long—you need to be resting right now.  The sights and sounds of the city aren’t going to help at all.”

Growling, he set his empty mug on the table and stalked out of the kitchen.  “I’m all too aware of that…” he muttered under his breath.

“Inu-Yasha?”

Pausing with one hand on the doorknob, he turned around and stomped back to the kitchen.  “What?” he snapped, a fierce scowl in place.

Kagome smiled shyly at him, unafraid of his temper.  “Thank you.”

His cheeks stained red, he fumbled for a moment before mumbling, “Whatever…”, and then he quickly left the apartment before any other awkward situations arose.

This time, since Kagome wasn’t with him, he opted for leaping over the railing and falling down to the ground floor in an effort to save time.  He did fully intend on going to the convenience store, for the penetrating weakness of nicotine withdrawal was building in his limbs and demanding his attention.  However, he had a mission to take care of at the Order before his own needs were sated, and if he wasn’t to arouse Kagome’s suspicion, it needed to be done in a timely manner.

Once at the bottom, he slammed the double doors open and ran outside, fully prepared to make a mad dash to the Order’s HQ.  What he wasn’t fully prepared for was the bright sunlight burning his bloodshot eyes even behind the sunglasses and the sounds of a bustling city attacking his overly-sensitive ears.  Nearly doubling over as his hangover raged at him for exposing himself to such awful sensations, he was forced to huddle against the side of the building until his wits came back.

“Damn it…” he muttered once he could turn around and face the road.  “I need to get this over with…”  Though his limbs trembled as his stomach started to complain for the second time that day, he made his way to the rooftops of the city, bounding about as fast as his body would allow.  While he did make it to the headquarters without further incident, the moment he landed on the sidewalk in front of the building, a rather large semi on the road in front blew its horn at a taxi that had gotten in its way, and Inu-Yasha couldn’t take it.

He ran over to the corner of the building and lost the coffee he had drunk; there was little else in his stomach to come up, but it was certainly trying to rid itself of everything it could.  Panting and wiping his sweaty bangs off his forehead, he spat on the ground, then tried to stand up straight. 

“This better be worth all the trouble I’m goin’ through…” he growled under his breath, and then he staggered inside.

“Inu-Yasha?” Rin asked in surprise when he lurched past reception.  “What are you doing here?  You—oh, you don’t look so good.”

“Thanks,” he grunted sarcastically.  “Now shut up.”  Proceeding to ignore her, for her shrill voice was grating on his ear drums, he plodded over to the elevators and punched the button for the top floor.  As the doors slid shut and the elevator shuddered into movement, he shut his eyes and tried to disregard the terrible pounding in his head as he thought back to his conversation with Kagome. 

He knew she sugarcoated it; there was no doubt that Sango and Miroku, Sango in particular, had said things that cut into Kagome, much as she tried to hide it.  Despite how ill he felt that afternoon, it did not escape his notice the tiny sighs she gave every so often, and the slightly worried look that took over her expression whenever she thought he wasn’t watching.  He held his tongue on it, for he had already made himself out to be an emotional fool twice that day, but it was time to do something about it.

When the elevator slid open and deposited him on the top floor, he had a perfect glare set on his face.  Without further ado, he slammed open the door to Sango and Miroku’s office, tossed his hat and sunglasses on the couch against the wall, then strode over to stand in front of Miroku’s desk.

“Inu-Yasha?” the man asked, both he and Sango looking quite surprised as they glanced up from the account they had been working on together.  “What—“

His query was cut off when Inu-Yasha’s hands shot out and grabbed them by their shirt collars, dragging them forward with surprising strength.  Baring his fangs at them, he growled, “They better be damn good…”

“W-what better be good?” Sango stuttered, caught off-guard by his surprise appearance and sudden attack.

“Your excuses for putting that girl through the ringer,” he snarled back, his expression all the more terrifying with his red-tinged eyes and his trembling limbs; they mistook his nicotine fit as a fit of anger.  “She’s done nothin’ but be good to me, and you just gave her hell for it.  Normally I don’t give a damn how busy you are, and I couldn’t care less about how stressed you are over this new demon, but when you take it out on Kagome—that’s when I get mad.  Now show it to me.”

The only reply he got was confused stares.   His voice rumbling in his throat, he snapped,  “Her review!  Show it to me!!”

“We haven’t written it yet!” Miroku said loudly, trying unsuccessfully to pry Inu-Yasha’s fist off.

“Well, that’s good news for you…  I think you know where I stand on things.  If I don’t see Kagome smile from ear to ear when she reads it, there will be hell to pay.  Understand?”

Receiving two very fervent nods in reply, he roughly let go of their shirt collars.  As he retrieved his hat and shades, he turned around to give them a sharp glare.  “One more thing—I was never here.”  And then he left the room as suddenly as he arrived.

Punching a button on the elevator, he let out a soft moan as the doors slid shut and carried him down; that little outburst, though it did effectively scare Sango and Miroku senseless, had done nothing to help his hangover, and now the movement of the elevator was making his queasiness worse.  However, he couldn’t help but allow himself a small, victorious grin before clapping a hand over his mouth; with any luck, Kagome wouldn’t have to worry about this review, or any future ones from his little performance.

When he was dumped on the first floor in front of reception, he staggered off, then promptly retched in a nearby potted plant, giving the secretary a lovely show.  Once he finished, he turned around and saw her staring blankly at him, a green tinge to her features.

“Sorry…” he mumbled, and then he stumbled out of the building.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The rest of the day had passed quite uneventfully at Inu-Yasha’s apartment, as per his request.  When he arrived back home with a case of cigarettes under his arm and much looking much sicker than when he had left, Kagome ordered him back to bed with little opposition.  He emerged from his bedroom once the sun had set, making the place darker and thus more bearable.  Now he was sipping a cup of coffee while stretched out on the couch, watching the late night news while Kagome worked on a yarn project in her usual armchair.

“What the hell is that?” he grunted, speaking for the first time in several hours.

“Hm?”  Kagome glanced up and saw him staring curiously at her work.  “Oh, this is a crochet block.  I’m going to make a bunch of these and sew them together to make an afghan.  It’s a pretty color, don’t you think?”  She held up the cranberry red yarn.

For a moment, he looked like he was about to agree with her, but she expected better; ever since he had awoken the second time, he had been very cranky and irritable.  “Hmph…  You look like an old lady, doing that,” he mumbled, shifting his gaze back to the television.

Shrugging, she went back to the square.  “I don’t care.  It’s very relaxing, and it’s good for soothing my nerves.  Besides, I need to work on it; it’s going to be a Christmas gift for a friend.  Christmas isn’t that far away, you know.”

Rolling his eyes, he kept quiet, and Kagome realized that she wouldn’t get any more of a conversation out of him.  They settled back into the quiet routine that had happened so many evenings prior, although this time she noticed that he was, for once, fully sober.  Even on days when his hangovers were bad, he still liked to have at least one glass of whiskey before bed, but tonight seemed to be different.  He hadn’t made a move towards the kitchen to fetch a bottle, nor had he mentioned anything to her except the request for coffee.  She couldn’t help but smile at the victory, tiny as it was. 

Inu-Yasha, on the other hand, was nowhere near as happy as she.  He desperately wanted a drink, but had set the goal for himself to wait until the next day; much as he hated to admit, the fact that he had frightened her the night before affected him quite a bit, and he was hesitant to drink again.  Adding on top of his want for whiskey was his impatience to see her review.  He had expected the two to show up at his apartment earlier that evening to deliver the review, but they had never arrived.  Perhaps he had frightened them a bit too much that afternoon…

A knock at the door sounded, breaking him from his thoughts.  Both turned around to look when Miroku hesitantly opened the door and stepped  inside, followed closely by Sango.  An awkward silence fell as they stood in the doorway, staring at the floor.

Finally, Sango spoke up.  “Look we… we were too harsh, yesterday,” she said lifting her head to look at Kagome, her voice full of remorse.  “Yes, we were stressed, but… we realized that we were wrong to treat you the way we did.  It was unprofessional and… well, as friends, it was a hell of a thing to do.  So we apologize, both as your bosses and as your friends.  Do you accept?”

Slowly, Kagome nodded, still surprised to see them at the apartment at all.

“Here.”  Miroku stepped forward and handed her a thick envelope.  “This is the entire contents of your review.  Read it closely.”  When she reached out and took hold of it, he paused, not letting go.  “Kagome.  We really are sorry.”  The look in his eyes was so full of earnest remorse that Kagome suddenly stood up and hugged him.

“…Thank you,” she said softly, and then pulled away, taking the envelope with her.

Flushing an embarrassed red, Miroku turned to join Sango back at the door, but paused when he caught Inu-Yasha glaring at him, clearly not as forgiving as his nurse.

“Look,” he began.  “I’m sorry about that phone call to the Tap yesterday.  Talk about unprofessional, right?”

Studying him closely, Inu-Yasha finally growled, “I don’t remember a damn thing about yesterday.  Whatever it was, forget it.”

Knowing that was as close to accepting an apology as Inu-Yasha was going to get, Miroku nodded.  “All right.  It’s forgotten.”

Still feeling uncomfortable around the two, Sango and Miroku left without saying goodbye, just giving slight waves.  It would be a couple days before the relationship was fully repaired, but it was a good start.

A few minutes after they left, Inu-Yasha finally allowed himself to look at Kagome, who was fervently reading the folded paper from the envelope.  “Well?” he asked expectantly.  “What’s it say?”

For a moment, he didn’t get a reply, but at last she returned the paper to the envelope and tucked it away before picking up her crochet square.  Though she didn’t look at him, he could clearly see the proud smile stretching across her face.

“I did well,” she said simply.  “They even gave me a small raise, isn’t that nice?”

“Mm.”  He knew there was more to it than that, but he didn’t really care.  As long as she was pleased; that had been his main goal.  With that mission accomplished, he set his coffee mug on the table and stood, stretching.  “Well, I’m going to bed.  Keep the TV down.”  And then he shuffled off.

Kagome however, stayed up much later, unable to sleep.  She couldn’t help but think about the statement written under ‘Supervisor’s Comments’ section of the review:

P.S.:  We are really, really, sorry.”

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Thanks for reading!  Please leave a review!

Thank you to you who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 17: Coordination and Preparation

Kagome drew her coat tighter about her, shivering in the bitter November wind.  It helped if she walked behind Inu-Yasha, who seemed to be impervious to the cold, but the air itself still nipped at any exposed skin, and made her rethink going out at all.  With the sun gone hours ago, there was nothing to provide any warmth except Inu-Yasha, and with him rather upset with her, that was not an option.

They had started the day off on the wrong foot again, although this time it wasn’t Kagome’s fault.  She had arrived at his apartment later than usual due to a phone call early that morning from Sango.  She had offered Inu-Yasha and Kagome their first demon assignment together, and Kagome had quickly accepted.  However when she arrived at his apartment, she saw that he was already up and getting ready to dive into a whiskey bottle.  She understood that he was probably aching for a drink, having gone the entire day prior without one, but it was her duty to keep him sober for the assignment that night, and she had to take the bottle away.  It was dreadful timing, but it had to be done.

What she didn’t know was that Inu-Yasha had hardly been able to sleep the night before, he was so anxious for a drink, but had waited as long as he possibly could before leaping out of bed and running into the kitchen.  There was to be no coffee/whiskey debate that morning; nothing but the contents of a bottle would do.  So to have the whiskey pulled away just when it was in his grasp was more than he could bear.  He had thrown an absolute fit, and it wasn’t until a few hours later was he calm enough for Kagome to explain herself.

From then on, things had been a bit tense between them, but he was no longer openly hostile; he even agreed to go on the assignment, which surprised her to no end.  That was how they found themselves strolling down the road at ten o’ clock at night in the frigid cold.  Inu-Yasha seemed to be unconcerned by the cold or the dark, so Kagome kept as close as she could to him with being an annoyance.

Glancing over his shoulder, he growled at her, “Get up here.  You keep that far away and some demon’s going to make off with you.”

Hm.  She had misjudged his temper, apparently.  Jogging up to walk next to him, they walked on in silence.  She watched him from the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his mood.  His emotions had been so volatile today that she wasn’t quite sure what to do.  For now, he simply looked tired, and a little irritated.  His teeth were clenched around a cigarette and he was trembling from lack of alcohol, but he was much calmer than before.  Kagome decided to take advantage of this moment.

“Look…” she said quietly, “I just wanted to apologize for earlier.  It was poor timing, I know, but we can hardly give up the opportunity for an assignment, and—“

“Oh, stop,” he growled, cutting her off.  “Quit apologizing.  You’ve been doing that all day.  Let’s just… get this over with.”

She immediately fell silent; it wouldn’t do to test his patience at the moment.  Besides, she had gotten her point across.

Inu-Yasha glanced at her from the corner of his eye; he was having mixed feelings about her today.  He knew he shouldn’t be upset about the liquor ordeal that morning, for she was simply trying to do her job.  She was right in her actions too, for he shouldn’t have been drinking on the day of an assignment; it was something he had struggled with for the past seven years.  But still, if only she knew how badly he had been and still was dying for that drink, then she would understand why he had been so angry.

Focusing his gaze back on the sidewalk, he pulled his cigarette out and exhaled smoke in a gusty sigh.  “…I’m gonna go to the Tap once we’re done here,” he mumbled, pausing to snub his cigarette out before moving on.  “You can go home afterwards, if you want.”  He almost felt guilty for saying his destination… almost. 

Kagome, smiled at him with chattering teeth.  “Oh, that’s all right, I’ll just go back to your apartment.  I like to make sure you get safely to bed, you know.”

He rolled his eyes.  Yes, he did know.  He couldn’t say that he recalled her forcing him back into the bedroom, for whiskey tended to erase his memory more often than not, but he did notice waking up in his bed rather than on the couch, which was his usual place of rest.

“If you like, you can just give me a call when you’re done at the Tap; I’d be happy to give you a ride home.”

Scowling, he did his best not to snap at her from fear it might just be his flighty temper.  He wasn’t thinking so far ahead; he only knew that he was going straight to the Tap once the assignment was over.  What happened after that was none of his concern.  But Kagome, always planning ahead…  He uttered a low growl and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.

“So what exactly are we going after?” he grunted, trying to switch the conversation to something that wouldn’t spark his temper.

Pleased to see him initiating a conversation, Kagome replied, “Oh, just some low-level demon causing a ruckus, that’s all.  Sango told me that they could have sent one of their lesser agents to deal with it, but she wanted to give us the opportunity to work together.  We need to practice and coordinate our abilities, is what she said.”

Inu-Yasha stopped dead and turned to look at her, disbelief etched in his face.  “Are you serious?” he growled, his hands fisting at his sides.  “This is just to ‘coordinate our abilities’?  Over some damn wimpy demon that doesn’t even have a Shikon shard?!”

“Inu-Yasha, please…” Kagome said soothingly.  “We need to do this.  If we’re to start taking on higher-level demons that do carry shards, we need to know how the other fights, what strategy they use, and how we can effectively work together.”

“Who said we were taking on higher-level demons?  Was it Sango?  Because I told her—“  He abruptly stopped talking and stared down at his shoes, a deep scowl marring his features.

“Inu-Yasha…?”  Kagome stepped forward and slowly grasped his wrists, realizing how badly his limbs were shaking.  “What’s wrong?”

He stayed silent for a moment; he didn’t want her to know about his meltdown at the quarry, but he had no intention of getting involved in this war brewing.  The thought of taking on more powerful demons scared him half to death, and yet he had to try and pretend like nothing was wrong; Kagome didn’t need to know of these inner demons.

“Just…  Let’s go.  We need to get this over with.”  He wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without a drink.  After several minutes of silent debating, he had opted to leave his flask back at the apartment to avoid temptation during the assignment, and was now very much regretting that decision.  This awkward conversation, on top of his physical needs, was only increasing his desperation, and he wanted nothing more than to finish this job and move on with the night. 

“Inu-Yasha.”  Kagome held fast as he tried to walk away.

“Never mind!” he snarled, whirling suddenly to face her.  She involuntarily released his wrist in surprise, and he pulled away, glaring at her.  However, seeing her hurt expression, he immediately felt chastised, and floundered for a moment.  “I—Look, this isn’t the time or place to chat.  There’s a demon nearby, and if we stand around here chattin’ like fools, we could get hurt.  All right?”

With a rather weak smile, she nodded silently and moved forward.  “I was told it was a crow demon; it’s been killing and devouring stray dogs and alley cats, but Sango and Miroku hope to prevent it from switching over to humans.  And it was last seen in the alley between the office supply store—“ she glanced at the building they were standing next to, “—and an office building.”  Suddenly, she gave a soft shriek and ran over to the window at the front of the office supply store. 

“Inu-Yasha, look at this!  This notebook set is adorable!”  She pointed through the glass where a set of notebook and pens covered in simple cartoon cats was sitting on display.

Although rather relieved that Kagome had chosen not to press the awkward conversation, Inu-Yasha couldn’t help but snap, “Dammit, we are in the middle of an assignment!  Do your window shopping some other time!”

Quickly stepping away, she nodded, flushing in embarrassment.  “I’m sorry.  I just love cats.  I was distracted.”

Rubbing his face in frustration, he simply growled an turned away.  “Never mind.  Let’s just get back to business.”  He took a deep sniff of the air, trying to see if he could find the crow itself.  “Hm…  I do smell a couple of corpses close by, probably a product of his crow.”

“’Corpses’?”

He looked back at her, a little confused by her tone.  “Yeah, corpses.  Why do you ask?”

She pointed straight ahead, her eyes wide and her hand trembling.  “Because that doesn’t look quite like a corpse.”

Following her gaze, he suddenly tensed when he spotted a dog emerging from the alley, walking with a pronounced limp due to the complete lack of flesh on its right foreleg.  Once it came completely into the light from a street lamp, he realized that half the creature’s flesh was rotting away and blood was dropping steadily from its panting mouth.  When it turned to gaze at them with empty eye sockets, he heard Kagome give a small squeak and duck behind him.

“Listen…” he whispered over his shoulder as the dog slowly turned to face them.  “Do you have a weapon on you?  A gun or something?”

“I-I have a pocket crossbow.”  He had to give her credit for trying to keep her cool; he had a feeling she hadn’t been in  any demon fight before now.  “Sango gave it to me when I completed my training.”

“What the hell is a pocket crossbow?”

Reaching into the inside pocket of her coat and trying not to shiver as the icy air sliced at her, she pulled out a small metal crossbow, flipping a switch and allowing the prods to snap out.  Another push of a button, and a bolt was ready to be fired.

Raising an eyebrow at the fancy mechanical weapon, he shook his head.  “All right then, here’s the plan: I’m gonna try and behead the blasted thing, because that sometimes kills undead creatures.  If he’s still moving, you need to shoot it, and your powers should purify it.  Got it?”

She nodded nervously and held up the crossbow.  “G-got it.”

With a shake of his head at her unnecessary anxiety, he took a deep breath to try and calm his own shaking limbs, then sprang forward with his claws bared.  The dog reacted in quite the same way, but before its bloody fangs could embed themselves in Inu-Yasha’s arm, its head was ripped clean off in a single blow.  As the head dropped with a wet thud to the sidewalk, the body froze, becoming eerily still.

“Get ready, Kagome…” he growled warningly, taking a step away from the dog’s stiff, headless body.  “I don’t think that killed it.”  Suddenly, the exposed muscles in the dog’s neck twisted and roiled, making Inu-Yasha jump in surprise.  “What the hell?”  He involuntarily took a step back.

Slowly, something sharp and black started to emerge from the neck; Inu-Yasha watched in disgust as a jet black bird pushed its way out, pausing to glare at him with three glowing yellow eyes.

“Huh…” he grunted, crouching and baring his claws for another attack.  “This isn’t just a demon crow, it’s a carrion crow!  It fights by taking over the corpse of a more powerful creature than itself.”

“So it took over a… stray dog?”  Kagome’s dry tone made him shrug.

“I never said they were that powerful to begin with.  But never mind that.  Just get your cross—“

Without warning, the crow let out an ear-splitting screech and burst from the dog, whose body collapsed in a heap on the sidewalk.  The cry made Inu-Yasha cringe and stagger backward, and the crow took the opportunity to try and escape, attempting to dart to the top of the office supply store.

But following its deafening cry came the harsh twang of Kagome’s spring-loaded crossbow, and a bolt enveloped in a white-blue light sliced cleanly through the crow, sending two halves to drop like stones next to the dog’s head.

As the ringing in his ears slowly faded, he gave Kagome a look of mild surprise; he honestly hadn’t expected her to be such a great shot.  “Where’d you learn to shoot like that?”

Still looking rather rattled by the sudden action, she tried to smile brightly at him.  “The Order trains its members well.  You of all people should know that.”  She then snapped the prods down and tucked her weapon in her inside pocket.

With a scoff, Inu-Yasha kicked the crow’s head out of the way and stumped over to her.  “Whatever.  I’m just glad that’s over with.  Now let’s go.”  Now that the fight was over, his body was reminding him that a drink needed to be on the horizon or there would be hell to pay.  Shoving his restless hands in his pockets, he started off down the sidewalk with Kagome quickly coming up next to him.

“Sango and Miroku asked me to call them once we finished; they want to know how it went.”

“Hmph.”  He was busy pulling a pack of cigarettes out.  “Damn busybodies…”  It took him a minute to get one lit, but at last he achieved his goal and stuck the lighter back in his pocket.  “They think just because they’re the head of the Order that they can stick their noses in anyone’s business.”

Kagome let out a soft laugh, causing Inu-Yasha to glance at her in surprise; for just experiencing her first demon fight, she was well in control of herself.  It took most others a couple days to fully recover from the rather gruesome battles.  “Well, it’s their job to stick their noses in other people’s business.  They can’t very well protect the city if they don’t know what’s going on, hm?”

“Hmph,” he grunted again.

The rest of the trip back to the care was silent, for Kagome could see that his temper was being tested and didn’t want to push him further.  She was, however, quite touched when he waited by the car as she climbed in, making sure she was in safely.  It was late at night, and she wouldn’t have felt comfortable had he not been there with her.

Rolling down the window, she said, “Call me when you want to come home, okay?  I’ll be happy to come get you.”

“Shut up and get goin’.”  It wasn’t meant to be mean, it was simply his way of saying goodbye.  Once the window was back up, she cheerfully waved goodbye and pulled out onto the road, leaving him standing alone on the sidewalk.

For a couple minutes he stood still, watching her car drive off.  However, the moment it turned the corner, he clamped his teeth around his cigarette so it wouldn’t blow away, and then leapt to the top of the nearest building and began his rooftop chase of her car, always keeping it in sight.  He knew that just because she was in her car didn’t necessarily mean she was safe from all the dangers of the city.  There were plenty of carjackers about, and also a few demons that weren’t afraid of attacking small automobiles.  So, even though the headache beginning to pound reminded him of the large stock of whiskey waiting for him at the Tap, he followed silently after her.

Though the trip didn’t take long, he was more than relieved to come to a stop on the roof of a two-story building next to his apartment building.  Eager to take off, he watched intently as Kagome turned off her car and pulled out her cell phone before finally climbing out of the vehicle.

“Hello, Sango, it’s Kagome,” he heard her say as she locked her door.  “Yes, it went quite well; it was over in a matter of seconds.  Inu-Yasha’s very good.”

He couldn’t help but flush a bit at the comment.

“Oh, really?  Well, sure, that sounds fine.  He said he was going to the Tap, so…  Oh, Miroku’s coming here?  Okay.  I’ll be waiting.  Bye!”

He took a drag of his cigarette as he eavesdropped, although the last bit of the one-sided conversation made no sense.  Watching closely, he growled at her for standing outside to talk on her phone when it was much safer inside, but she now had her phone away and was walking briskly to the doors.  However, she paused with her hand on one of the handles, then glanced up in his direction.  He knew she couldn’t see him, for it was much too dark, but he ducked down anyway, and she soon was inside.

“Finally.”  A couple bounds and he was gone, headed straight for the Cornerstone Tap.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Kagome sighed in relief once she made it to Inu-Yasha’s apartment on the seventh floor; she never felt quite comfortable going about the city by herself.  She would have asked him to accompany her, but hated to keep him away from the Tap, especially after the incident that morning.  But still, she thought that she might not have gone home alone at all, for as she was about to open the door to the building, she swore she smelled cigarette smoke.  Rather than assuming that it was an attacker, as she probably should have done, she had glanced towards the rooftops, thinking perhaps Inu-Yasha had followed her.  While she wasn’t certain, she thought she had seen the tiny red glow from the tip of a cigarette on top of the neighboring building, but it disappeared before she could be certain.

With a shrug, she pushed the thought from her head.  Miroku was going to be over in a few minutes to discuss things with her, and she wanted herself and the place to be a bit more presentable than they were now, so she bustled off.

Roughly thirty minutes later, she had a fresh change of clothes on, and had cleaned Inu-Yasha’s apartment as well as she could before there came a knock on the door, and then Miroku poked his head inside.  “Hello?”

“Hello!” she replied cheerfully, emerging from the kitchen to greet him.  “Come in, please.  I was just making some tea, if you wanted any.”

“Um, yes, that would be fine.”  He took a seat at the end of the couch as Kagome disappeared again, then took in the apartment.  He had to admit to some surprise; he couldn’t recall seeing the place look as nice as it did now.  The tables and furniture weren’t covered in a thick layer of dust, the carpet was a beige color rather than dull gray, there weren’t overflowing ashtrays everywhere, and there weren’t empty whiskey bottles adorning the coffee table.  The place still smelt of stale whiskey and cigarettes, but he doubted Kagome would be able to do much about that, for those scents were ingrained in the fabric and added to daily.  Still… He nodded in appraisal.  She was doing quite well.

“Here we are.”  Kagome quickly came back to the living room with a tray, handing him a mug of tea before settling into the armchair with her own cup.

“I can see you’ve made some improvements around here,” he told her with a teasing grin.  “Although, I’m sure Inu-Yasha’s not happy about you removing his bottle collection from its beautifully arranged display on the coffee table.”

Kagome smiled back.  “You know, I don’t think he actually minds too much; it gives him more room to prop his feet up.”

With a short laugh and a sip of tea, he set his mug back on the table and settled into the couch.  “Well, let’s get on to the purpose of my visit.  As you know, Peace Day is coming up within a couple of weeks.”  Peace day was the day of Naraku’s defeat, celebrated city-wide.  Businesses closed, children got a day off school, there was a parade and a festival, and at the end of the day there was an enormous gala at the mayor’s mansion.

Kagome blinked, then quickly ran over the dates in her head and nodded.  She had been so busy with her new patient that she had forgotten what day it was.  Peace Day was December 4th, and today was November 20th.  “You’re right.  I can’t believe I forgot…”

“You’ve had your hands full, I understand.  But, there are a few things I need to discuss with you concerning Inu-Yasha on Peace Day.  Now, I’m sure you know that Peace Day is quite possibly the worst day of the year for him.  However, he is forbidden to drink until after the gala is over.”

“Why?”  Kagome was rather confused; she thought that no one was able to forbid Inu-Yasha to drink at all.  He had been very stubborn about that.

Miroku sighed and shook his head.  “It’s a little complicated.  You see, Inu-Yasha is invited, dozens of times a year, to attend city events, charity functions, school visits, etc., etc., in order to speak about his ‘heroic deeds’ and to screen any questions people might have.  And I’m sure you know he’s not that type of guy.”

Kagome tried to picture him giving a speech to young students, and horrified herself at the thought of him staggering up to the podium with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth and a whiskey bottle clenched in his fist.  “No, you’re quite right.”

Miroku grinned slightly at the look on her face.  “Right.  So, we cover for him by turning down any and all offers that we get, save for one.  He is required to attend the Peace Day Gala, to prove to the public that he is still alive, and hopefully keep up his image as the city’s defender.  It inspires hope in the citizens, and keeps him out of the tabloids.  He tried to get out of the gala as well as all other offers he got, but we told him we wouldn’t send away the other offers if he didn’t show.”

Kagome nodded in understanding.  It was a smart plan.

“So, the year after the battle with Naraku happened, he never showed.  We found him two days later passed out in the alley behind the Tap.  Not only did it give us a scare for his life, but it also embarrassed both the Order and the mayor when they called his name to get his medal and he never walked up on stage.  We gave him a whipping for that one, and threatened him good if he never arrived at the next one.”

Frowning slightly, Kagome said, “But surely, as his friends, you know how he reacts to threats.  He just digs his feet in even more.”

Miroku sighed.  “He was a different person back then.  We still weren’t used to his alcoholism, and… I guess we expected him to be as easygoing as he had been while he was with Kikyo.  That certainly wasn’t the case anymore.”

“Ah, I see.  All right, so what happened the next year?”

“Ugh.”  Miroku covered his face with his hands at the memory.  “Well, he did show up like we required, but was only able to stay sober until the speeches began.  By the time he was called onstage, he had to be helped up by two of the presenters, he belched in the mayor’s face while receiving his medal, and then, when he got to the microphone to give his acceptance speech, he shouted ‘Damn, it’s hot in here,’ and passed out, knocking down the mayor’s wife.”

“Oh, goodness…”  Kagome mirrored Miroku’s position.  “Please tell me he’s gotten better since then.”

“Oh, yes.  Do you really think we’d allow that kind of behavior to continue?  The mayor was positively livid, as were Sango and I.  After the three of us got through with him, he agreed to our restrictions, and has since then behaved well at the gala.”

Kagome stared at him, clearly impressed.  “I… well, I just find that hard to believe.  You actually got him to stop drinking on the day when he lost everything?”

With a sad smile, he replied, “I never said that.  We’ve gotten him to stay sober up through the end of the gala, but after the dance is over and everyone has gone home…  Well, let’s just say it usually takes him a couple of days to recover once he’s done.  It’s never been good.”

Kagome slowly picked up her tea and took a sip.  “Oh dear…”

“I’m telling you this as a warning.  Trying to tackle this problem is a nearly impossible task.  That’s why, for at least this year, Sango and I are only asking that you simply make sure he’s safe.  Maybe see if you can keep him at home rather than let him go wandering off to the Tap.  We just don’t want him getting hurt.  One year he got hit by a car trying to stagger home, and it was touch-and-go for a while.”

Looking more than a bit daunted, Kagome nodded slowly, her hands tight around her mug.

Miroku, thought he hated to continue to talk on such an awful subject, had to go on.  “There’s one more thing:  on the nights after the gala, Inu-Yasha’s temper is at its absolute worst.  He usually says some incredibly hurtful things, and he can get violent with anyone who interrupts his night of drinking.  Sango and I bear both physical and unseen scars.” 

He shrugged out of his jacket and then unbuttoned his shirt sleeve and rolled it up, showing Kagome four thin white lines embedded in the flesh of his forearm.  “He was too drunk to do much damage, fortunately, but I did have to get stitches for these.  He could have taken my arm off had his perception been better.”

Kagome fingered one of the lines, and expression of horror on her face.  “But…  Why does he keep drinking, if he knows that he could lose control and hurt his friends?  How could he do that?”

Pulling his sleeve back down, Miroku shook his head in sorrow.  “He can’t help it.  He hurts for Kikyo, and it causes him unbearable pain.  Drinking is the only way he knows to deal with it.  Sango and I can’t hate him for that.”

Her expression easing, she sighed and sat back.  “I don’t know if I’ve met anyone so tolerant of a friend’s behavior like you two.”

He shrugged, pulling his jacket back on.  “We’ve been through a lot together.  That’s enough for Sango and I.”  Glancing sheepishly at Kagome, he said with a touch of embarrassment.  “I’m sorry for bringing your evening down like this.  I just thought it best to warn you before it happened.  It certainly took Sango and I by surprise that first time.”

Kagome waved her hand, trying to be at ease even though it was still obvious she was worried.  “Don’t worry about it.  I appreciate the news.”

Trying to smile and bring the mood back up a bit, Miroku decided to draw on his vast knowledge of women to move on to happier subjects.  “So, what are you going to wear to the gala?  The Order will be paying for your dress, so don’t worry about that.”  Women loved to talk about clothes, right?

Kagome blinked at him.  “Excuse me?  What are you talking about?”

“Why, you do know that you’ll be accompanying Inu-Yasha to the gala, right?  Everyone must have a partner.”

“…What?!”

oOoOoOoOoOo

“Ah…ah…ACHOO!!!”

“That’s lovely,” Iro said dryly as Inu-Yasha sniffed, looking a little surprised at the sudden sneeze.  “Is someone talkin’ about you, boy?”

“Like I know,” he growled, sniffing again before downing the rest of his drink.  “Just fill ‘er up an’ quit chattin’.”  While feeling a little better now that he had almost an hour of liquor in his system, it would still take yet another hour before his mood would improve.

As Iro silently poured more whiskey into the demon’s glass, Inu-Yasha heard the door to the bar open and his nose told him that it was Sango.  Peering at her out of the corner of his eye as she took a seat next to him at the bar, he grunted, “What th’ hell are you doin’ here?”

“Why do you have to say it like that?  Maybe I just wanted a drink.  Beer, please,” she added when Iro looked expectantly at her.

“Like hell you did,” Inu-Yasha muttered around the lip of his shot glass.

The two drank together in silence for a little while, until at last Sango’s presence was bothering him so much he snapped, “Look, you got somethin’ t’ say t’ me, then say it!”

Trying to hide the wry grin on her face, she set her glass down on the polished wood and said quietly, “You know what day is coming up.”

A low growl rumbled in the back of his throat, and he drained his glass in a gulp.  “Leave th’ bottle an’ go away,” he snapped when Iro came to refill it.  Rolling his eyes, the bartender did as he was told and disappeared into the break room behind the bar to eat his dinner.

Pouring his own drink, Inu-Yasha replied, “Yeah, I know what god-forsaken day is comin’ up.  Why th’ hell d’you gotta bring it up now?”

Sango swirled the beer around in her mug.  “Well, I just needed to remind you of the rules concerning the gala, which I’m sure you already know by heart.”

“If I know ‘em by heart then why are you here?” he retorted, peering fuzzily at her.

She turned to face him, looking sternly at his flushed, scowling face.  “There’s a new factor this year.  Kagome.”

He looked a little taken aback, and quickly turned away, swallowing another shot of whiskey.  “What’s she got t’ do with anythin’?”

“She’s going to accompany you to the gala this year.  I hope you understand that this means you’ll have to be on your best behavior around her.  I get the feeling she’ll be very nervous about an event as big as the gala.”

“Feh.  Whatever.”

Narrowing her eyes as she gave him a very piercing stare, she continued, “Then there’s the matter of after the gala.  Now I know that you have no qualms about ripping into Miroku and myself—“  Inu-Yasha flushed a deep red and quickly downed another drink at the comment, “—but you will not do that to Kagome.  You need to keep in control of yourself this year; if she’s hurt by anything you do, you will have hell to pay, understand?”

“Look, what I do after th’ gala is my own damn business, all right?  Kagome shouldn’ even be around!  Why don’t you an’ Miroku take her home, if you’re so worried?!  I’ll do what I like when that stupid thing is over!”  He was about to continue, but Sango’s fierce glare made him falter, and he soon quieted and turned away.  He never liked talking about his antics after the gala; he always felt incredibly guilty the next day, but he knew just as well as Sango how little control over himself he had.

“All I’m saying…” she said quietly, “Is that you may want to remember all the hell you’ve put that poor girl through already.”

He didn’t say anything, so Sango sighed and got up, leaving her half-finished beer on the counter.  “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

Relieved at the subject change, he grunted, “I ain’t done yet.  Besides, Kagome’s gonna come get me later.”

“Actually, she and Miroku are having a meeting back at your apartment, so I volunteered to give you a ride home.  And I’m not waiting for you.  Let’s go.”

Scowling, he turned to glare at her.  “And I say, I ain’t done.  Jus’ ‘cause of your stupid assignment, I haven’ had a drink in two days.  Now lemme alone.  I’ll call Kagome later for a ride.”

She knew how difficult it was to persuade Inu-Yasha to do something he didn’t want to do, so Sango quickly came up with a little white lie.  “Look, once she found out that I was picking you up, she got changed into her pajamas.  Do you really want to make her come and get you in her pajamas?  Or worse yet, make her change back into her clothes to get you, just so you don’t have to ride with me?  That’s really not very nice of you.”

He floundered for a moment, not realizing that Sango was teasing him.  Finally, he slid off the barstool and left some money on the counter.  “Guess I can jus’ finish drinkin’ at home…” he mumbled, stumbling a couple steps before Sango lent him some stability.  “Don’ wanna make her change clothes again…”

Stifling a laugh, Sango led him to her car, and they made it back to his apartment in no time.  It took another several minutes to get him up the steps, but since he wasn’t quite as drunk as usual, the task was a bit easier, much to Sango’s relief. 

At last they made it to the seventh floor, and Sango knocked once on the door before leading Inu-Yasha inside.  “We’re home!” she said, winking at Miroku as Inu-Yasha slowly followed after her.

“Hello, Inu-Yasha,” Miroku said, grinning as he stood up from the couch.  “How was the fight?”

“Stupid…” he muttered, trying to get around Sango to go into the kitchen and get one of his own bottles whiskey, but he was having a rather difficult time of it.

“Inu-Yasha!  Back so soon?”  Kagome’s sweet voice punctured his thoughts, and he turned blearily around to find her. 

“Uh… yeah.  Sango gave me a ride…”

“Oh, I see.  Well here, come with me and we’ll get you in bed; it’s very late, and I know you didn’t sleep much last night.”  Kagome came forward and put one of his arms over her shoulders and her arm around his waist to help him back to the bedroom.  “Bye Sango, bye Miroku!” she called back at the two of them.

He really didn’t need the help, nor did he want to give up the rest of his night of drinking, but seeing Kagome smile so nicely at him, he relinquished his hope of more whiskey and gave in.  “All right…”

Stifling laughter, Sango and Miroku watched as Kagome took Inu-Yasha down the hallway and they heard him say groggily, “You aren’ in your pajamas…”

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I hope you enjoyed it; please leave a review and tell me what you think!

Thank you to you who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 18: The Gala (Part 1)

“Dammit!”  The rare curse flew from Kagome’s mouth as the heel of her shoe slipped off the edge of a step for what felt like the thousandth time.  She had little practice climbing stairs in high heels, for her job as a nurse required tennis shoes more often than not, but climbing six flights of stairs in high heels was even worse.  With a frustrated growl, she gripped the rail in one hand and tugged her shoes off with the other, deciding she didn’t care how silly she looked at the moment.

Finally, once the offending items were off her feet, she stood up straight and sighed, blowing a stray tuft of hair out of her face.  She knew the only reason her temper was going off was because she was nervous about the gala.  Growing up, she could remember how the Peace Day Gala had always been a huge event, televised and broadcasted , but it was never something mere civilians could attend.  She could recall being glued to the television screen the first year the gala occurred, eager to catch a glimpse of those powerful fighters with a near-godlike status who had saved the city from utter destruction.  She had watched in awe as Miroku and Sango, both merely nineteen year-olds at the time, strode proudly across the stage to accept their medals, followed by a regal old woman who she now knew as Kaede.  After Kaede, there had been a whole slew of demons, then a parade of brave police officers.  Finally, after an enormous buildup, Inu-Yasha’s name was called to accept the ‘Hero of the Year’ award and the key to the city, but after an awkward silence, Sango and Miroku stepped forward to accept on the demon’s behalf.  There had never been an explanation given for his absence but, thinking back, she realized that the reason he had never showed was because he had been sitting in a dingy bar trying to drown out a memory so loudly celebrated by the rest of the city.

But now she was attending that famous event herself, alongside the main attraction of the evening.  Even though she knew it was superficial of her and that she should be focused on Inu-Yasha, she couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of herself being broadcasted by thousands of TVs across the city.  She was so nervous that she hadn’t slept a wink the night before, and then, while trying to figure out how to do her hair and makeup, she had grown so frustrated and upset that she simply brought all of her products to her mother’s house and begged her for help.

Now, thanks to the care and attention only a mother can give, her hair and makeup looked better than she could have ever done on her own, and after an entire afternoon of voicing her fears and concerns to her very sympathetic mother, she had finally calmed down enough so that she no longer felt like vomiting.  Still, now that the hour had arrived to actually go to the event, those nervous butterflies in the pit of her stomach had returned, and she had to do her best to keep calm.  The whole reason she was attending the gala in the first place was to be there for Inu-Yasha, and it wouldn’t do to be in an anxious fit the entire time.  So, setting her mouth in a firm line, she hiked her dress up and quickly ascended the rest of the stairs, ignoring how un-lady-like she was being.

Once on the seventh floor, she slipped back into her heels, smoothed out her dress, and straightened her hair before slowly opening the door to Inu-Yasha’s apartment.  Truthfully, she had had a tiny worry seeded in the back of her mind that Inu-Yasha would not make it to the gala sober, despite Miroku’s insistence that for the past five years that feat had been achieved, but when she walked into the living room she saw no signs of disobedience for the rule.  There were no glasses or bottles sitting out, and the air smelled only of stale whiskey, not fresh.  Letting out a soft sigh of relief, she called out, “Inu-Yasha?  Are you there?”

The sound of a door opening greeted her statement, and soon Inu-Yasha emerged from the bedroom, fiddling with a disagreeable bowtie as he came down the hall.  “Yeah, I’m here…” he grumbled, fixing his tie with a frustrated grunt.  “Damn tie—uh…”  He abruptly stopped speaking when he looked up at Kagome, who was staring right back at him with the same expression on her face.

Having never seen him in anything besides a hospital nightgown or ratty jeans and a dirty T-shirt, the shock of a crisp black tuxedo nearly knocked Kagome over.  She had never expected to see him looking quite so elegant in his snow-white dress shirt and deep ebony cummerbund, his jacket fitting his frame perfectly and allowing his hair to stand out against the black.  Adorning his feet were not his usual filthy sneakers, but shiny black leather dress  shoes.  She could hardly stop herself from staring at the stark difference from his usual appearance.

Inu-Yasha was in very much the same boat.  His eyes couldn’t help but wander over her graceful curves displayed by her form-fitting dress, made from a beautiful deep blue silk.  Her dark hair was piled high on her head, pinned up with a crystal blue hair piece made of tiny jewels that shone in the light.  He realized that the color of her dress made her ocean-blue eyes shine with color, and he could hardly keep himself from gaping at how lovely she was.

Suddenly, they both realized what they were doing and quickly averted their eyes, flushing from the awkward moment.  For Inu-Yasha, it took a moment to recover.  After spending the entire day up until now wallowing in memories, battling a severe bout of depression, and fighting the urge to drink himself senseless, being jarred out of his own thoughts by a beautiful woman walking into his apartment required time to regain his senses.

“U-um…  Sorry I’m late,” Kagome said, breaking the silence.  “I had to have my mother help me get ready, so it took longer than usual to get here.  Plus with all of the festivities going on today, traffic was horrible.”

“Hmph.  Damn stupid ‘festivities’…” he grunted, smoothing out the tie he had finally beat.  “Why bother with ‘em all…”  The deep depression returning along with his senses, he turned on his heel and trudged back into his bedroom to finish getting ready, making a small motion for Kagome to follow.

Recognizing his bleak mood in an instant, she tried to shake him out of his dismal thoughts.  “So…” she began slowly.  “How many people attend this gala?  Sango and Miroku never really gave me specifics.”

He cast her a glance with dull gold eyes.  “Here’s a specific then: more people than you wanna know.”

She swallowed hard, the butterflies in her stomach stirring a moment before settling down again.  “Oh.  What about cameras?  Is it like, there will be a camera in our faces all night long?  Or are there only a couple wandering around the crowd?  Because I would prefer to be off-camera as much as possible, despite my mother’s wishes.”

Going over to his tarnished dresser and rummaging through a drawer, he replied, “There’s too many cameras for my liking, but don’t worry.  I don’t let camera-people hover around me all night long; they learned their lesson a couple years ago.”

Curious as to how that lesson was taught, Kagome wisely decided not to purse that subject, and instead posed another question.  “All right.  I’m glad to hear that.  But what about all the other people—will we have to mingle?  Because I’m fairly certain I won’t know anyone else besides Sango and Miroku, and I’m so horrible at small-talk.  Do we have to dance?  Is there even dancing?  I know it’s a gala, but dancing is getting to be pretty uncommon nowadays—“

“Dammit, Kagome, just stop talking!”  His harsh snap immediately silenced her.  Scowling at himself, for he never meant to be so abrupt, he quickly turned back to his dresser and pulled out a brush that was buried in the bottom of the drawer.  Shutting the drawer a bit harder than intended, he slowly walked over to a rather hurt Kagome and held out the brush.

“…Will you please help me?” he asked softly, trying to keep his tone as gentle as he could.

Kagome, recognizing this as his way of apologizing, nodded and grasped the brush, her feelings still smarting a bit from his attack.  Following him over to the bed, she carefully sat down behind him and slowly started her work at the bottom of his silver locks, gently working out the small tangles.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly after they had sat in silence for a moment.  “I’m just nervous.  I didn’t mean to add more problems to your day.”

“…I know,” he muttered in reply.  Although she couldn’t see from her position, his cheeks were flushed from embarrassment.

“You know…” she went on, feeling a little better that he had accepted her apology, “we’ve  never actually talked about tonight.  How does tonight usually go for you?”

He frowned slightly, not quite sure what she was getting at.  “What do you mean?”

“Well…”  She continued her rhythmic motion with the brush, trying to think of the best way to phrase her query.  “I imagine it must be very difficult to listen to all those speeches of people talking about the day you killed Naraku.  Is there any point where it’s most difficult for you to handle?”

A heavy sigh escaped him as he thought back to years prior.  Truthfully, there wasn’t any moment that wasn’t hard to handle; he hated them all.  Every second spent in that ballroom reminded him of a time that held only bad memories.  All his smiles and all his actions he made during the gala were fake, mere facades to his true feelings of consuming depression and a deep heartache that made him want to slash the throats of those who gushed over his ‘heroic deeds’.  During the entire gala he felt as though he were a time bomb, able to handle only so much stress before something in him would break and he would lose control.

He had been silent for so long that Kagome laid a hand on his shoulder and said in concern, “Inu-Yasha?”

Blinking, he glanced back at her, then mumbled, “I hate it all.”

With a sad smile, she resumed brushing his hair, working up a little higher and bringing the brush smoothly down.  “Well, I just want you to know that if you need me for anything, I’ll be right there.”

“What do you mean by that?” he grunted.

Pausing to think of a proper answer, Kagome set the brush down and gently tugged on his arm, making him turn around to look at her.  “I have found that whenever I have to do something I don’t like or don’t want to do, things are much easier when I do it with someone.  Having someone else there to be a comforting presence in an uncomfortable situation can make a world of difference.  So, if you’re having a hard time listening to a particular speech, or you feel uncomfortable accepting your medal, or anything like that, I just want you to know that I will be right at your side, whenever you need me.”

He stared at her, unable to think of a reply.  A deep blush was staining his cheeks as guilt wormed its way into his chest, closing tightly in around his heart.  Hardly able to stand it, he quickly turned away.  “Hurry up,” he said softly, trying to keep the usual gruffness in his tone to hide the surge of emotion.  “If we don’t leave soon we’ll be late meeting up with Sango and Miroku.”

Holding back a sigh of frustration, Kagome silently finished brushing his hair.  She couldn’t help but feel irritated by his response; she knew he was dealing with a slew of conflicting emotions, but he was reacting how he always did: brush them off or cover them up with gruff and bluster.  She would never get anywhere with him this evening unless he opened up, and she knew from experience that bottling up feelings led only to more heartache.

Finally, she handed the brush back to him, then carefully stood and smoothed out her dress while he placed the brush back in the dresser.  She followed him out of the bedroom and waited quietly by the front door as he bustled around, grabbing a fresh pack of cigarettes and a lighter for his pants pocket and filling his flask with whiskey for the inside pocket of his jacket.  She raised an eyebrow at the sight of the flask, for Miroku had told her that he wasn’t supposed to drink at all until the gala was over, but she realized that Inu-Yasha probably snuck a sip or two when his superiors weren’t looking.

At last, once he retrieved a very dusty, black longcoat from the back of his hall closet, he shrugged into it and met her at the door.  “After you,” he growled, looking none too pleased at the thought of leaving his apartment.

“I thought you didn’t wear coats,” Kagome mentioned as he followed her out the door and kicked it shut behind himself.

“I don’t.  Sango and Miroku made me buy this for appearances at the gala.  Waste of money in my opinion.”

“Ah.”  With that explanation, Kagome turned to look down the staircase, then sighed deeply.  The trip upstairs had been challenge enough, but going downstairs in heels was even harder.  Muttering under her breath, she bent down and started to tug off one of her shoes.

“What are you doing?”

She glanced up at Inu-Yasha, who was staring curiously at her.  “Hey, I’d like to see you make it downstairs in these,” she replied, kicking one of her feet to display her footwear.

With a shake of his head, he simply replied, “No.”  Then, before she could react, he had scooped her bridal-style into his arms and leapt over the railing.  She was so surprised that she couldn’t even let loose a scream—her mouth was clamped shut in shock.  But, despite her initial surprise, she couldn’t help but realize that she actually felt quite safe, even as six stories rushed past her head in a matter of seconds.  Inu-Yasha’s grip on her was strong, and she could almost feel some hidden power deep in his muscles that prevented him from losing control of the fall.  The ride was over in moments, ending with a soft landing in the lobby.

Inu-Yasha, his expression never changing from the depressed, distant look he had carried all day, gently set her down, then strode over to the door as though nothing odd had happened.  Kagome, regaining her voice, quickly joined him, and said softly, “Thank you.”  She really was touched by the action.

With only a grunt in reply, he led the way to her car.  They made a silent drive over to the Order’s headquarters, where they were greeted by Sango, Miroku, and a black limousine.

“Well, well, well, Miss Kagome, you certainly look lovely this evening,” Miroku said by way of greeting, his eyes roaming quite freely over her as she climbed out of the car, pulling a shawl over her bare shoulders to protect herself from the bitter December chill.

Giving her partner’s ear a sharp tweak, Sango frowned harshly at him and turned her attention to Inu-Yasha.  “You look well,” she said, studying him carefully.  “I trust you’ve been able to follow the rules for the day?”

A slight sneer tugging at his lips, he growled, “Do I look like I haven’t followed the damn rules?”

“Hmph.  With you, we can never be too careful.  Now come along, we need to get going.  We want to be fashionably late, not rude.”  They all climbed into the limousine, each couple sitting across from the other once inside.  Miroku, still rubbing one ear, rapped his knuckles against the panel between them and the driver’s seat, and soon the car was on the road.

“Now…”  Settling comfortably into his seat, he turned to Kagome.  “I believe it’s time that Sango and I give you a brief overview of how the evening is going to go…”

Inu-Yasha soon stopped paying any attention to the conversation and rested his head against the cool glass of the window.  He tried to think on other things than the event they were headed for, but it was difficult to do; he only knew that he wanted the night to be over.  Whiskey helped to speed up the horrible proceedings, but with that escape taken away from him five years ago, he could hardly stand the thought of going through the whole gala without some assistance.  Of course, he went through this little ordeal every year on the ride to the event, but the familiarity hardly made it easier. 

Glancing around at the inside of the limo, he scowled in disgust as he realized Miroku had conveniently taken the seat right next to the minibar.  A couple of years ago he had been able to sneak a miniature bottle of scotch and had stuffed it in his coat for a trip to the restroom, giving himself a little relief and making the second half of the night slightly more bearable.  This time, however, Miroku felt his gaze and, although he never paused in his conversation with an anxious Kagome, slowly stretched out his legs, blocking the door to the minibar and clearly sending Inu-Yasha the message of ‘don’t even think about it’.

With a deep frown, Inu-Yasha crossed his arms and resumed staring out the window, which he found almost as depressing as the inside of the limo.  Every street they passed he could see the remnants of the festival that had taken place earlier that day—confetti still littered the streets and sidewalks, banners with his face plastered on the front were still strewn over the fronts of stalls that had yet to be taken down, and every person on foot they passed waved jovially at the limo, knowing full well that someone important was inside and heading to the gala in the center of town.

He growled softly as they went by; fools, they were, all of them.  His face shouldn’t be up on banners or displayed in the city square or placed on buttons, or broadcasted on every television in the city.  Sinking lower in his seat, he shut his eyes to block out the horrible sights of the city and dreamt of the whiskey waiting impatiently for him at home, inviting him inside and enveloping him in its amber embrace, smothering him more and more until he was lost in whiskey dreams.  From there it would carry him away from this dreadful day and into a new one, where the only thing he had to deal with was a hangover and a rather overprotective nurse.

“Inu-Yasha.”

At the sound of his name, he scowled and opened one eye, peering irritably at Miroku.  “What the hell do you want?” he snapped, displeased at being dragged back to reality.

Looking quite unsurprised by his harsh tone, Miroku replied smoothly, “I was just going to tell you that the mayor has something new planned this year, so the order of events is going to be slightly different.”

“Big deal.  I don’t pay attention to half that shit anyway.”

Sango, nowhere near as calm as Miroku, nudged Inu-Yasha’s foot with her stiletto.  “I sincerely hope you will be behaving more like a gentleman inside the ballroom,” implying that her statement was actually a demand.

“Hmph.”  With his temper on edge, he was more than ready to pick a fight with his two superiors.  However, when he sat up, ready tear into them, he caught sight of Kagome out of the corner of his eye.  She was sitting silently in the other corner, looking rather pale and twisting her hands anxiously in her lap, her anxiety clearly showing through.  The sight was enough for him to lose all his bristles, and he simply shifted on the seat, holding his tongue.  It wouldn’t do to add more stress to her evening by picking a fight in the car before the gala even started.

Miroku, surprised into silence by the fact that Inu-Yasha had backed down, resorted to looking out the window himself.  “Hey, we’re here—look, there’s the Crater.” 

The Crater was, quite literally, a giant hole in the ground, marking the center of the city.  It was the site where Naraku had been vanquished, blown into a thousand pieces when the jewel had exploded, and leaving  behind the hole in the earth.  Now the Crater led to the entrance to the mayor’s mansion, and their limousine had joined a rather long line of various cars, limousines, and taxis that were waiting to deposit their passengers at the front door.

“Oh, goodness…” Inu-Yasha heard Kagome moan softly, staring out at the vast sea of evening gowns, tuxedoes, and news crews.

“Now Inu-Yasha, don’t forget what we told you about answering reporters’ questions,” Sango said, bringing his attention off of his partner for the evening.  “Avoid answering them if possible, but if you have to, just be sure and always give positive answers.  Try and bring up your charity donations or your city surveillance duties, whatever it takes to keep them off your back, all right?”

In response to Kagome’s confused expression, Miroku helpfully informed her, “To keep Inu-Yasha’s reputation in good standing, the Order makes several large donations to charities during the year in his name.  And we also consider the occasional demon fight to count as city surveillance, so it’s not really a lie.”

“Oh…”  Giving Inu-Yasha a glance to see what he actually thought about it, she received a rather disgusted scowl in response—he clearly cared very little about his reputation.

“And as for you, Miss Kagome, you will probably be asked several question about the nature of your relationship with Inu-Yasha.  We don’t really want to spread the fact that he has a personal nurse, for that will bring up far too many awkward questions, so you are to tell them that you are his girlfriend, all right?”

“Excuse me?”  Kagome was certain this was a joke, but the look on Miroku’s face was quite serious.  Feeling her cheeks growing hot, she looked over at Inu-Yasha and saw he was flushing too, although he kept quiet, settling only to glare at Miroku.  “A-all right…”

“Excellent.”  Sango peered out the window, then pulled her own shawl tighter around her shoulders.  “And with that said, I think it’s time to face the music.  Miroku?”

“Coming.”  Miroku quickly moved over to be by the door so he could exit the limo first; there was a particular protocol to be followed when leaving the car, which was men first, partners second.  He waited calmly until the limo came to a stop, smiling around at everyone in the car.  “Let’s have a good evening, all right?”

Inu-Yasha managed to get in one last scowl before the door was opened and the deafening lights and sounds battered the souls inside the car.  The crowd of people waiting outside the mayor’s gate whooped and clapped as they saw Miroku climb out with a broad grin, waving as several cameras flashed.  Turning around, he reached into the limo to help Sango out, whispering, “It’s a big crowd out there this year, huh?”

As there was another wave of shrieks and clapping as Sango joined her partner, Inu-Yasha sighed heavily and cast Kagome a look out of the corner of his eye.  “Our turn…” he muttered, sitting up and smoothing out the front of his coat.  “Let’s get this ov—“  He stopped abruptly, realizing Kagome was ghostly white and clutching the front of her shawl as though it were a lifeline.  “Kagome?”

Blinking suddenly, she gave him a wavering smile and said, “Go.  I’m ready.  Let’s do this.”  The tremor in her voice betrayed her, but she waved Inu-Yasha out.

With one last concerned look at her, he finally emerged from the limo, and when he did it was as though all hell had broken loose.  Thunderous applause assaulted his ears, made only louder by shrieks and screams while dozens of camera flashes temporarily blinded him.  He decided, much as he hated it, he owed Sango and Miroku one for not allowing him to drink today; having a hangover in this environment would have been the end of him. 

A broad smile stretching uncomfortably across his face as he blinked the spots out of his vision, he waved once at the crowd, which only increased the tremendous noise and pounded his poor ears even more.  Wishing he could climb back into the limo rather than just reach inside, he turned around and reached his hand to Kagome, who was looking as though she might faint.

“It’s fine,” he grunted softly.  “I’ll punch anyone who gets too close to us, all right?”

Choking out a short laugh, Kagome slowly laid her trembling hand in his, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.  The action surprised her so much that, for a moment, she forgot her fear.  He had never been one to show any signs of affection, but that…  Well, she had to admit, she did feel better being able to cling to a familiar presence.  Taking a deep breath, she slowly got out of the limo, then nearly jumped back inside when the crowd let loose a new wave of applause.

However, Inu-Yasha kept a firm grip on her hand and whispered, “Nu-uh.  If I can’t do that, you can’t do it either.”  Then he smoothly offered her his arm. 

Her other hand clutching at her shawl, she slowly entwined her arm in his, and together they walked through the crowd.  Inu-Yasha, although he was still able to keep a suave smile on his face, couldn’t help but release a small growl that only Kagome heard, for he was constantly brushing aside autograph requests and digital cameras thrust into his face.  Kagome was having much the same problem, but she simply clung tighter to his arm and kept her eyes on the sidewalk, having to fight hard to continue to smile without her lips trembling. 

During the entire journey, their progress was also dogged by news reporters who had swarmed the limo as soon as it had arrived.  Several times they had microphones thrust at them, all the while the reporters were screaming questions at them to try and be heard over the din of the crowd.

“Mr. Inu-Yasha, is it true you have withdrawn support of Muso?”

“Mr. Inu-Yasha, why did you suddenly decide to make a public appearance at a rally after so long in solitude?”

“Miss Higurashi, what is your relationship with Inu-Yasha?”

“Miss Higurashi, how long have the two of you been going out?”

“Are things serious between you two?”

“Mr. Inu-Yasha, will there be any more incidents like the one six years ago?”

Inu-Yasha, whose pace and breathing had quickened as he tried to escape the reporters and hold his temper at the same time, suddenly stopped dead.  As the new reporters surged around them, hardly daring to believe that the mighty Inu-Yasha might actually stop and answer their questions, Kagome crept as close to him as possible and whispered, “Please, Inu-Yasha, let’s just get inside the gate.  We’re almost there…”  She had been informed by Miroku that any reporters except those hired by the mayor were allowed past the gate.

Although he did not say a word, and although his smile never faltered, he slowly turned and, ignoring the other questions shouted to his face, snaked his hand through the sea of microphones to the grab the microphone of the reporter who had asked the last question.  He then broke the appliance in two, dropped the two pieces to the ground, then turned back around and strode through the gate with Kagome nearly running to keep up.  The crowd of people cheered wildly at his action while the reporters, hardly fazed, snapped picture after picture through the iron bars of the gate.

“Thank god that’s over with…” Inu-Yasha grumbled, letting go of Kagome’s arm.

“Inu-Yasha, how did they know my name?” Kagome asked him worriedly as they walked down the beautiful stone walkway that led to the mansion’s front door.  “I don’t recall ever giving it out…”

“They needed both our names for the introductions, seating, whatever.  Miroku only told it to the planner for this damn thing, but those grubby reporters get their claws in everything.”   He glanced down at her concerned expression.  “Don’t worry about it.  You’ll be outta the papers in a week or two.”

“A week or two?!”

“Ah, there you are,” Sango said suddenly, walking up to them and helpfully getting Inu-Yasha out of an awkward situation.  “You sure took your time.  Inu-Yasha, you didn’t punch a reporter this year, did you?”

Looking away, he replied boredly, “No…”

Hardly believing him, she turned away, making a gesture for them to follow.  “Come on.  They’re waiting for us inside.”

With a sigh, Inu-Yasha once again took Kagome’s arm.  When she gave him a questioning glance, he muttered, “We’re going to have to do this again when we enter the ballroom anyway.  Might as well do it now.”  She noticed a slight blush on his cheeks, but it could have been the remnants of barely contained anger towards the reporters.  Still, she couldn’t help but smile a bit, and stepped a little bit closer to him as they climbed the white marble stairs to meet Sango and Miroku at the door.

A young man with light brown hair, wearing the uniform of a black vest and pinstripe trousers, was waiting for them the moment they stepped past the monstrous polished oak doors of the mansion and into the massive foyer.  “Good evening.  My name is Hojo, and I shall be taking care of you this evening.  If you will please follow me?”

Kagome, being the only one who had not been inside the mayor’s mansion, was the only one staring about in wonder at the rare painting, fine rugs, and beautiful sculptures that the mayor adorned his home with as they followed the young man to the ballroom.  Inu-Yasha had to nudge her to get her to focus when they arrived, but once inside, she couldn’t help  but gape once again.

The ballroom was easily the largest room in the mansion; there was plenty of room for the stage, the orchestra, and all of the tables for every guest to sit at, with room left for a dance floor.  Looking up, there were enormous crystal chandeliers hanging at even intervals from a beautifully painted ceiling.  At the tables, all of the chairs had seats of velvet, while crystal goblets and fine china adorned the tabletops, encircling a centerpiece of rose petals and candles floating in a glass bowl of water.

Kagome was rather rudely broken from her admiration as suddenly applause started up again, starting softly, but growing to an incredible volume.  Although their entrance was not announced, some of the guests who were already seated caught sight of the most famous party at the gala, and started clapping, and the action caught on until the entire room was on their feet in applause.  Very surprised, Kagome turned to Miroku and Sango, who had honest smiles on their faces.

“I don’t believe it…” she heard Sango whisper to Miroku.  “Eight years it’s been, and they still stand for us.  This is so embarrassing…”

Confused, Kagome asked Inu-Yasha softly, “Why are they clapping?”

Now that he no longer had to impress the general public and the press, his smiling facade had gone, replaced with the depressed expression that he so often slipped into.  Looking down at her, he finally muttered, “…They think we’re heroes…”

As Hojo led them to a table right in front of the stage, for they were guests of honor, they all paused, Sango and Miroku giving a short wave, blushing madly.  Inu-Yasha did give a half-hearted wave as well, but Kagome could see that he was certainly not feeling the same as Sango and Miroku were about it.

“Inu-Yasha, all of you are heroes,” she said in confusion as Hojo gallantly pulled her chair out for her.  Miroku, who was doing the same for Sango, looked over at Inu-Yasha, who was watching Hojo like a hawk, his lip twitching as he held back a snarl.  Casting a Sango a knowing grin, Miroku sat next to her, his arm already around her waist before he was on the chair.

“Watch it…” she muttered under her breath.

“Hmph.”  Inu-Yasha leaned back in his chair and looked away.  “I’m no hero.  I wish they wouldn’t clap; it’s embarrassing and damn stupid.”

With a soft sigh,  Kagome replied, “Whatever you seem to think, they believe you are a hero, and this is their way of showing you that.  You can’t blame them for wanting to show you their gratitude.”

“…Whoever said I wanted their damn gratitude?”

“Inu-Yasha.”  Sango said his name sternly, hoping to get his attention.  “Please.  Don’t get angry so early on.  The gala hasn’t even started yet.”

With a slight glare at her, he finally turned away, doing his best to avoid catching the eye of any other guest in the room.

Hojo, who had been waiting patiently for their conversation to end, stepped up to the table and said politely, “We are still bringing in guests to be seated, so it will be a few more minutes.  May I get you a drink for the wait?”

“Red wine.”

“White wine.”

“Red wine, please.”

“Whiskey on the rocks.”

Two sets of eyes turned to give Inu-Yasha a silent reprimand as Hojo bustled off, but Kagome held herself back.  She knew he was no doubt frustrated by the events up until now, and being rebuked for ordering a drink was only going to heighten his temper.  Instead, she reached over and put her hand over his, gaining his attention.

“What?” he snapped, mistaking her invitation to talk as the beginning of a verbal complaint about his drink of choice.

Smiling despite his harsh tone, she said, “I just wanted to thank you for earlier, when we were getting out of the limo.  You knew I was nervous, and what you did was very kind.  So thank you.”

“Well—uh…”  Ready to bite back at what he had expected as an attack, he stumbled over his words for a moment before looking away and mumbling, “Whatever.  I was nervous the first time around too…  And I hate crowds…”

“Me too.”

His scowl lightening slightly by her agreement, he and Kagome sat silently, people-watching while Sango and Miroku chatted softly.  After a few minutes, Hojo returned with a tray of drinks, handing Miroku and Kagome the red wines, Sango her white, and Inu-Yasha his tumbler of whiskey clinking with ice cubes.  Inu-Yasha, so intent for the drink, never noticed Sango and Miroku studying him closely as he took a long swallow.  Kagome was a little confused by their actions, but Inu-Yasha was soon able to explain.

“Ugh…” he muttered, setting the tumbler back on the table.  “Dammit, I don’t know why I even bother…”

Kagome, who noticed Sango and Miroku sitting back with pleased smiles, asked, “What’s wrong?”

Looking quite disgusted, he flicked the side of the tumbler with a claw.  “It’s all watered down.  Whiskey-flavored water.  I assume bigmouth Miroku told you about what happened the second year of the gala?”

“Yes…”

“Well, after that, the mayor instructed the bartender to water down anything I ordered, damn him.  They don’t want a repeat of that, I guess…”

“Hm.  Speak of the devil.”  Miroku pointed off to the left, where they saw a portly gentleman with a bushy white mustache quickly descending some stairs and heading straight to their table.  “It seems he got wind of our arrival.”

“Good… good evening!” the mayor said breathlessly, once he arrived.  “I heard you were here, and I came as quick as I could.”  He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his forehead.  “Whew.  Well, good evening, Sango, Miroku.  I trust the two of you are doing well?”

“Very well, thank you sir,” Sango replied smiling brightly at him.  Despite having been yelled at not too long ago by him, the Order was actually on very good terms with him, and she and Miroku liked him quite a bit.  He was a good-natured man with every intent to take good care of his city, not to make profit from it.  They were quite sad to see him step down from his post as mayor.

“And Inu-Yasha.  I’m so glad to see you could make it this year; how are things in your life?”

Inu-Yasha smiled sourly at him; even though he did agree with the mayor’s viewpoints about running a city, he always felt as though the mayor purposefully made cracks about his actions the first two years of the gala to insure that he would behave well the current year.  It made him feel like he was being slapped on the nose like a small child.

“Things are just great,” he replied, his tone clearly implying otherwise with its sickly sincerity.  “And I of course wouldn’t miss this.  It’s my favorite event of the year, you know.”

“Of course, of course.  Oh, and before I forget…”  Reaching a gloved hand into the inside pocket of his jacket, the mayor pulled out a rather large tin and opened it, displaying the contents to Inu-Yasha.  “I know you do enjoy my cigars.  Would you care for one?”

Forgetting his displeasure in a moment, for he did like the mayor’s rather fine selection of cigars, he pulled one out, nodding his thanks.  This little interaction happened every year; Inu-Yasha would bristle at the mayor’s initial comment, but the gift of a cigar always calmed him back down, and he was usually able to keep his temper around the man for the rest of the evening.  It was a little ritual the two shared.

Snapping the tin shut and tucking it back in his pocket, the mayor then turned to Kagome, giving her a very warm smile as he peered at her through a very small pair of glasses.  “Now, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your acquaintance.  May I have your name?”

Kagome, who was understandably flustered being greeted by the most powerful man in the city, the man who had literally helped rebuild the city after Naraku’s reign of destruction, flushed a deep red and placed her hand in his proffered one.  “Kagome Higurashi,” she said quietly.

“Enchante, Miss Higurashi,” he replied, his bushy mustache tickling the back of her hand as he kissed it, not realizing that Inu-Yasha had paused in the lighting of his precious cigar to stare unblinking at the interaction, the grip of his teeth on the end of the cigar growing tighter.

Straightening, he addressed the whole table once more.  “Well, I hope you enjoy the program tonight.  Are you all ready to lead the dance?”

“Of course, Mr. Mayor.  Sango and I practiced yesterday to make certain we were prepared, right my dear?”

A light blush staining her cheeks, she shot a glare in his direction and replied, “Yes, Miroku we did.”

They were so busy chatting that they never noticed the soft squeak Kagome emitted after hearing the mayor’s question.  Leaning over to Inu-Yasha, who was enjoying the first drag of his cigar immensely, she asked, “We’re going to lead the dance?  No one ever told me that!”

“Nobody told you?  Well yeah, the four of us go out there first.  It’s only for a couple minutes, then everybody else joins in.  That’s usually when I pull out.”

Swallowing hard, she slowly nodded and sat back.  “Thank goodness…  I’m dreadful at dancing.  Are we going to be on camera for that?”

He nodded boredly, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

“Oh…”  Kagome put rested her head in her hand and fell quiet.

“Inu-Yasha?”  The mayor suddenly turned his attention on the demon.  “I was wondering if I could speak privately with you for a moment.  Would you come with me?”

Giving Sango and Miroku a mixed look of surprise and confusion, which was returned back to him, Inu-Yasha nodded and slowly stood, following the mayor as he led to the stairwell, which was devoid of people and thus a good place to speak.

“Listen, Inu-Yasha…” the mayor began, his usual warm, friendly smile replaced with a somber expression and a serious tone.  “I know you and I have had some rough times over the years—“

Inu-Yasha raised an eyebrow at the comment.  ‘Rough times’ wasn’t exactly how he’d put the screaming sessions the mayor, Sango, and Miroku had put him through after the first two galas.

“—but the time has come to get over our differences.  As you know, this is my last year doing this gala, and every year prior to this I just feel like I haven’t quite gotten my intentions across.  So I’m going to say this, and I hope you believe me.”  Clearing his throat, he said, “Inu-Yasha, I cannot thank you enough for the service you did for this city.  This place means more to me than almost anything, and during that war I was at my wit’s end on how to protect her.  Then you swooped in and saved the day, and…”

He suddenly paused and waved his hand, swallowing hard.  The war had been a very tough time for him, and he had always found it difficult to talk about.  “Well, I just want to say, Inu-Yasha, you have my most sincere gratitude.”  He grasped Inu-Yasha’s hand in his own and gave it a very firm handshake.  “Now, I can’t say I really know much about you, but I do know two things.  You like your whiskey, and you like my cigars, and while I’m not going to give you any drink, I am—“ he reached into his pocket and pulled out the tin.  “—going to give you this.  I know it’s not much, and hardly anything compared to what you have done for me, but at least I know you like them.  So please, take it.”  And he held the tin out for Inu-Yasha to take.

Inu-Yasha, who had remained silent during the entire speech, stared at the tin for a moment before looking away, looking rather grieved.  “I can’t accept those,” he said quietly.  “I don’t deserve your gifts or your gratitude.  Give that to Sango or Miroku, or anyone else who was there that day.  Just not me.”

“Now, Inu-Yasha, stop being so modest.  You deserve just as much, if not more credit than anyone else.”

A snarl tugging at his lips, he growled, “No I do not.  I’m not taking those.”

“Too bad, my friend.  I’m giving them to you.”  Noticing that the din from the ballroom was increasing as the room started to fill, the mayor shoved the cigar tin into Inu-Yasha’s hand and quickly stepped back.  “Thank you for everything you’ve done,” he said, walking away as Inu-Yasha tried to hand the tin back.  “Enjoy the gala.”  And then he disappeared out of the stairwell.

Inu-Yasha stood still for a moment, looking down at the tin clutched in his fist.  He hated these galas for a reason; gratitude was the last thing he wanted to receive for Peace Day, but it was all he ever got.  Heaving a sigh, he trudged out of the stairwell and back to the table, collapsing in his chair and trying to ignore the looks that Sango, Miroku, and Kagome were giving him.

“Well?” Sango asked expectantly.  “What did he say?”

Giving her a glare, he said shortly, “Nothin’.  Now shut up.”  Then he grabbed his tumbler and drained the rest of the liquid, grimacing as he realized that he had forgotten its contents.  Still feeling everyone’s eyes on him, he slumped further in his chair and crossed his arms, puffing on his cigar and staring at the floor.

“Did the mayor just give you his cigars?” Miroku asked despite the order, spotting the tin sitting on the table next to the empty tumbler.

Inu-Yasha stubbornly ignored the question, staring at his shoes with a deep frown.  Miroku, with a shrug, went back to his conversation with Sango.

Kagome, however, looked carefully at Inu-Yasha.  She knew something must have happened, for he seemed to be even  more depressed than before, but she was unsure if she should test his patience or not.  But concern won out, and she slowly leaned in closer to him, hoping to make their conversation more private.  “Are you all right?” she asked gently.

His dull golden eyes flicked up at her, his expression never changing.  “No,” he replied after a moment.  “I’m not.”

Surprised that he had not denied it, she said, “Do you need to talk about anything?”

“I said I wasn’t fine.  I never said I wanted to talk about it.”

Holding up her hands to show she wasn’t going to push him, she replied softly, “That’s fine.  Just don’t forget what I told you earlier—I’m right here if you need me.”

It was then when the lights in the room dimmed, and a hush fell over the crowd of people that had amassed.  A spotlight shone directly onto the stage, and soon the mayor emerged from the velvet curtain to the sound of applause.

Inu-Yasha, the only one in the room not joining in, muttered under his breath, “And so it begins…”

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There we go, all fifteen pages of it.  I do hope you enjoyed part one, and stay tuned for part two!  Thanks so much for reading, and please leave a review!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 19: The Gala (Part 2)

Kagome could hardly focus as the mayor started the gala, for her attention was divided between her patient, sitting slumped in the seat behind her, and her own nerves, which were at the breaking point.  She was terribly distracted by the vast number of business tycoons, powerful politicians, and city heroes that surrounded her on all sides; she felt like a mouse in a room full of giants.  And knowing that all of their eyes were going to be on her as she and Inu-Yasha led the first dance of the night made her want to crawl under the table and whimper until the night was over.  The only thing that kept her from trying to escape was her concern for Inu-Yasha.

He was slouched low in his chair, rolling the cigar between his teeth absentmindedly as he stared at a spot on the floor, his expression stormy.  It was astonishing the rapid deterioration of his demeanor once the gala started; she could practically feel the resentment flowing off him in waves.  The mayor had only been speaking for a few minutes, but Inu-Yasha had already called Hojo over for a refill on his drink and downed it in a few swallows.  Kagome assumed that the familiar action was the only reason he continued to drink, for she could tell from his pinched expression that it was the same watery concoction he had first been served.  After a couple minutes, she noticed that he had slipped his hand into the inside pocket of his jacket, no doubt to take hold of his flask.  Never removing it, she could only guess that he was trying to seek comfort from its presence, if not its contents.

She was just about to lean over and whisper a word of encouragement to him when suddenly a spotlight swung over to shine on their table, making her jump and look around in wonder; she wished she had been paying attention to the mayor’s speech.  Cringing a bit as applause rolled over them, Inu-Yasha slowly sat up and set his cigar in the ashtray Hojo had brought to the table.

“C’mon…” he grunted to her under his breath as he stood, Sango and Miroku following suit.  “It’s time for the dance.”

“Wha—already?”

Sighing heavily, he held out his hand and helped her to her feet.  “You need to get your head outta the clouds—save that for the speeches.”

As she took his hand and walked with him over to the polished wood dance floor, she couldn’t help but stare at him in wonder—had he just made a joke?  Surely not.  This was Stoneface Inu-Yasha on the worst night of the year; jokes were impossible even on his best day.

Stepping onto the dance floor, Inu-Yasha glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, and was relieved to see her merely looking at him with curiosity.  He was doing his best to distract her as from all the eyes on them as they took position, for he could easily tell how nervous she was.  He had snuck glances at her during the mayor’s opening speech, and caught all of the telltale signs: she was constantly playing with her hair, smoothing her immaculate dress, crossing and uncrossing her ankles, shifting in her seat; hell, he could even smell her fear.  Since it was, in a sense, his fault that she even had to come to this event, he felt some level of guilt for putting her through this, and was attempting to keep her calm, at the very least.

With a short glance at Sango and Miroku, who were already in position to begin, Inu-Yasha took a deep breath before turning to face Kagome, whose gaze had begun to wander over their audience.  He felt her grip on his hand tighten, and saw her legs beginning to tremble as what little color had been in her cheeks drained out.

“Hey…” he growled softly, regaining her attention when he put his right hand on her waist and lifted his left into the proper position.  “Don’t look at those stuffed shirts—there ain’t nothin’ to look at out there.”

Seeing both the couples in their respective places, the conductor turned to the orchestra, tapped his baton on the music stand, and soon the soothing melody of an easy waltz drifted out across the room.  Sango and Miroku quickly fell into step, doing simple moves so they could avoid looking silly, and even, Miroku dared to hope, enjoy themselves.  Sango did have a lovely smile on her face, although he was unsure if it was a smile for the public, for it wouldn’t do to have one of the guests of honor look as though she wasn’t enjoying the gala, or if it truly was a smile of contentment.  However, when she caught his eye, that smile was hard and frosty, and her grip on his left hand was practically breaking his fingers off.  Confused for just a moment, he soon realized that his devil of a right hand had slipped a little too far down her waist and was resting quite comfortably on her bottom.

“Move. It,” she hissed through her teeth, her smile never breaking.

With a short wink, hoping to charm her enough to at least avoid a beating once the dance was over, Miroku slowly slid his hand up to where it should have been the entire time, grinning innocently at her.  “Now now, my dear.  While I do think you are lovely when you’re angry, I find you to be even more pleasant when you’re happy.  Can’t you try to be happy?”

Her grip on his fingers easing quite a bit, a light blush appeared on her cheeks as she replied softly, “I don’t really have to try…”

On the other end of the dance floor, Inu-Yasha continued to whisper quietly to his partner, doing his best to keep her legs from giving out; he was half-carrying her already.  “Pretend everyone else isn’t here,” he murmured as they swayed about, hoping to keep her distracted.  “Pretend it’s just you and me in this entire room…  No, don’t look out there, look at me,” he said warningly as her frightened blue eyes gazed over his shoulder.

“Inu-Yasha…” she whispered weakly, clearly trying to hold back her fear.  “There’s so many people…”

Sighing lightly, he carefully pulled her into his chest as they continued to slowly step in time with the music.  “Shut your eyes…” he said, his voice low.  “There’s no better time than now to believe that old saying: ‘If you can’t see them then they can’t see you’.”

Unable to argue, she buried her face in his chest, squeezing her eyes shut.  “Just let me lead…” she heard him say softly into her hair, and she nodded shakily.  “Don’t worry,” he continued, speaking in a soft, deep tone to try and soothe her frayed nerves.  “Once the mayor and his wife come out, it’s an invitation for everyone else to join in.  That’s when we can get off, okay?”  Once again, he got a short nod.

Lapsing into silence, he slowly led them around the dance floor, marveling at how… at ease he felt with Kagome so close to him.  Normally he hated physical contact with people, but this felt strangely right.  She seemed to fit perfectly into his embrace, and he was feeling the strong desire to protect her from whatever harm came her way, which currently was the mass of people watching them dance.  Instinctively he put himself between her and the majority of the audience, doing his best keep her back to the orchestra, where very few eyes were trained on her.

Pulling her just a bit closer, he gingerly rested his chin on her shoulder and shut his own eyes, breathing deep her wonderful scent and once again surprising himself by his actions.  Why the hell was he doing this?  He had thought he was only trying to comfort her by giving her a familiar presence amid so many threats, but now he seemed to be giving in to his own need for comfort.  Grudgingly, he admitted that he did feel far more relaxed around Kagome than he had ever felt before at a gala; her mere presence had a calming effect on him.  Perhaps…  He hardly dared to allow himself to think that he might possibly take one good memory away from the gala this year.  In all six of his years in attendance, there had not been a single enjoyable moment, a single time that he could fondly look back on.

But this time…  He breathed deep once again, trying to keep himself from sighing in pleasure.  He had never felt comfortable enough to get this close to Kagome at his apartment, but here, with the excuse of a dance, he was able to break down his invisible barriers and simply enjoy her presence.  And, much to his surprise, it felt wonderful, which was something he hadn’t felt in years.  The pleasure he found at the bottom of a whiskey bottle was nothing compared to this feeling.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, for something was niggling at his senses.  Blinking, for he felt like he was waking up from a dream, he peered around and realized that all of the guests were now on the dance floor; the mayor and his wife must have invited them all to join without him knowing.  He bit back a disappointed growl, then carefully jostled the girl in his arms, who still had her face buried in his chest.  Her eyes were still shut, but he noticed they were not squeezed shut in fear anymore, but rather she looked as though she were sleeping.

“Hey,” he muttered, lifting his chin from her shoulder.  “Everyone’s joined in.  It’s okay if we sit down now.”

Kagome slowly cracked one eye open, still a little skittish at the thought of being alone on the dance floor, but was quite relieved to see that everyone was no longer staring at her, for they were all quite enjoying themselves with the music.  Looking up at Inu-Yasha, she saw his usual scowl was set in place, although this time there seemed to be another emotion that he couldn’t quite hide—disappointment.  More than a little surprised, she made sure not to make a move to pull away from him.  This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and she wasn’t about to mess it up.

“You know…” she said quietly, shifting her head so she could look out at the crowd.  “It’s not so bad with everyone on the dance floor.  Nowhere near as scary.”

“Mm.”  He grunted in agreement, glancing around with disinterest.

She noticed that he was making no move to get to the edge of the dance floor.  Taking a deep breath, she decided to take the plunge.  “If you wouldn’t mind…” she began slowly, “and I’m sure you’ll probably think I’m the silliest girl alive, but…  I would like to dance just a little while longer.  For show.”

He looked down at her, one eyebrow raised.  “For show,” he repeated.

“Yes.  I think it would look better if the main stair of the evening didn’t bolt off the dance floor as soon as he could; that would be disrespectful to the mayor, don’t you think?”

“Hmph.  Like I care.”  Despite his apathetic tone, she could see the disappointment was away from his expression in no time, and they continued to sway with the music.

Kagome, who still did not care to be in the middle of large crowds, much less be watched by large crowds, kept her cheek pressed against his chest and made no move to pull away; the protection he offered her was far too comforting.  At the moment, she felt like he was her security blanket—she didn’t dare go anywhere without it.  She knew that she had been behaving rather irrationally minutes before, but had been strangely comforted by his low voice and protective touch.  He had never been quite so free with his actions before, and, while she did not quite know what to make of it, she felt very relieved.  He was finally cracking open his shell.

“Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here,” came a familiar voice, breaking into Kagome’s thoughts and making her start in surprise.  She felt Inu-Yasha tense underneath her, and she looked quickly around to find out who had spoken.

“Muso…” Inu-Yasha growled, fixing a wide, fake smile on his face, making certain to bare his fangs.  Although he wanted to call the man a great deal more things than just his name, Sango and Miroku would have his hide for behaving so impolitely at the gala.  So he settled on silent intimidation instead.  “What do you want?  I thought I already said everything I needed to say to you.”  He nodded almost imperceptibly at the bright white cast peeking out from underneath Muso’s jacket sleeve.

“Oh, I was just coming around to say ‘hello’,” he replied, his face friendly even if his tone was lacking the warmth.  “If I’m to be future mayor, it’s important to attend yearly events such as these, and get a feel for them.”

“Hmph.  Better stop counting your chickens before they’ve hatched,” Inu-Yasha snapped back, barely able to hold his temper.  Kagome, who had yet to move, gave him a slight squeeze, which helped to hold him back.  “That’s a damn foolish thing to do.”

“Really?” Muso responded, sounding genuinely surprised.  “Because I really don’t think I have that much competition—not with your support.”

“Which you don’t have…” Inu-Yasha ground out, his grip on Kagome’s hand growing unbearably tight.

“Oh, nonsense!”  Laughing, Muso waved the comment away like a fly.  “This is a party.  We aren’t here to discuss business, we’re here to have fun!  So please, tell me, what is the name of your ravishing partner?”

“Kagome Higurashi,” she replied softly, after waiting a moment to realize that Inu-Yasha’s jaw was clenched shut.

Inu-Yasha’s grip on her grew hard as a rock as Muso gallantly took Kagome’s hand to kiss it.  “Candidate Muso at your service, Miss Higurashi.”

Clearing her throat and giving Inu-Yasha a sharp nudge in the ribs, she said carefully, “Do you have a partner tonight?  I don’t mean to be rude, but it is odd to see one on a dance floor rather than two.”

“Oh, indeed I do.  She is, however, one of the photographers for tonight as well, so she has gone off to take pictures of the crowd.  I believe she is…  ah!  Over there by that wolf demon.”  He pointed off to the left.

Following his gaze, Inu-Yasha couldn’t help but let loose a low growl; ‘that wolf demon’ turned out to be Koga, who he never found to be a pleasant companion.  But another quick look gave him the sight of what had to be Muso’s partner. 

The woman was rather short, a full head shorter than Kagome, and was staring expressionlessly at the wolf couple, holding her camera in front of her stomach as she took the photos, rather than in front of her face.  While that action was indeed odd, what was most surprising was her appearance; it was clear from her white hair to her pallid skin, this girl was an albino.

“Lovely woman…” Muso mused, a playful smile teasing his lips as he stared out at her.  “She certainly is a woman of few words, but I tell you, my Kanna is all you could ask for in a wife.  Well!  If you’ll excuse me, I have a few more rounds to make.  Lovely meeting you, Miss Higurashi.”  With a short bow of goodbye, Muso disappeared into the crowd as quickly as he had approached.

They stared out after in him silence for a moment, but it was Kagome who moved first.  With a sigh, for she could easily feel how tense and uneasy Inu-Yasha was, she slowly pulled away from him and led the way back to their table.  “Come on…” she sighed, swiftly ducking other dancing couples.  “Let’s get out of here.  There’s too many people.”

Growing even more frustrated, not only by Muso’s presence but also by the fact that his time of close comfort with her was over, Inu-Yasha fumed silently after her, slumping down in his seat once they reached the table.  Even he was rather surprised by his sudden mood change, which had been almost happy just a few minutes ago, but was now growing bleaker by the second.  He realized, with a slight moan, that now that he was finished with the dance, the worst part of the night was about to begin—the speeches.

It was not the fact that he had to sit patiently through all the speeches that was so bad; no it was the speeches themselves that were what sent him spiraling down into depression.  All of the speeches were about the day Naraku was vanquished, his own heroic deeds, and the enormous debt of gratitude the city owed him.  It was the same message, repeated to him in about six different forms during the course of the evening, and it was the absolute last thing he ever wanted to hear.  He hated being reminded of his deeds that dark day, but never seemed to be able to block out the speaker’s voice.

At the mere thought of what was to come, he could hardly bear it.  After a quick glance around to make sure Sango and Miroku were lost in the sea of tuxedos and evening gowns on the dance floor, Inu-Yasha pulled his flask out of the inside pocket of his jacket and took a deep swig, followed rapidly by two more before Kagome gently laid her hand on his arm.

“Take it easy on that,” she said calmly in response to his infuriated glare.  “I don’t think you’d survive another incident like the last one.  Sango and Miroku would make sure of it.”

Tugging his arm away, he snapped harshly, “Damn woman, it’s none of your business.  Besides, I’m not gonna get drunk off of one measly flask.  You should know that by now.”

Rather surprised by how rapidly his temper had sparked, Kagome carefully withdrew her hand and settled for looking past the demon at the crowd of dancers, trying to conceal her smarting feelings.  They had been doing so well out on the dance floor…

Inu-Yasha, already mentally cursing himself for being so harsh, kept quiet.  Slowly, regretfully, he screwed the cap back on his flask and tucked it back in his pocket, finding it almost difficult to let go of the thing.  Yes, he did quite clearly remember how wonderful it felt holding Kagome out on the dance floor, but that kind of pleasure did not flow as freely as whiskey did, and he doubted he had the courage to ask her to dance again, especially after his little outburst.  So, with a deep sigh of disgust, he reached out and plucked his smoldering cigar from the ashtray to puff on until the dance was over, every now and again sneaking a look at Kagome, disheartened by her sad expression.

The music continued for a full hour, until at last the guests started to wander back to their seats by the mayor’s request.  Sango and Miroku were among the last to get seated, having clearly enjoyed themselves.  Both, grinning broadly from ear to ear, joined their bleak companions at the table, a little confused.  Inu-Yasha and Kagome’s intimacy during the initial part of the dance had not gone unnoticed by them, and Miroku had even caught sight of them on the dance floor even after they had been joined by the rest of the crowd.  So to see Kagome sitting with her head in her hand and Inu-Yasha slumped down in his chair, arms crossed and chewing viciously on the stump of his cigar was confusing.

“Hey…” Miroku whispered, leaning over to the surly demon.  “What’s going on?  Did something happen?  You two looked like you were having a great time out there—“

“Shut up right now.”

Knowing full well how foolish it would be to press a dangerous conversation with Inu-Yasha on Peace Day, Miroku held his hands up and backed off, shrugging helplessly at Sango.

With a slight frown, Sango then leaned closer to Kagome and asked her quietly, “What’s going on between you two?  You look upset.”

Blinking, for she had barely noticed they had joined her and Inu-Yasha at the table, Kagome gave Sango a sad smile.  “No, it’s all right.  Inu-Yasha’s just stressed right now, is all.  Everything’s all right.”

Glancing back at the half-demon, who looked like he was halfway between bursting into tears or punching someone in the face, Sango replied dryly, “Uh-huh…”

With a short laugh, for she understood how much of a lie her statement had been, Kagome smiled reassuringly at Sango.  Then, as the lights dimmed once again and the mayor made his way to the podium in the middle of the stage, Kagome turned in her seat and caught Inu-Yasha’s eye.  Yes, what he had said hurt her feelings, but when one looked as pathetic as he did now, it was hard to hold that over his head.  So, with absolute sincerity, she smiled kindly at him, sending him the message of, ‘It’s okay, I’m not angry.’

Inu-Yasha held her gaze for a second before quickly turning away, sinking lower in his seat.  Why did she have to go and do that?  Now he had even more guilt burrowing its way into his chest, the emotion already having a very firm grip around his heart.  Not only did he have to wrestle with Kikyo’s death on his conscience today, but now he had a girl forgiving him for something he never apologized for, which only made him squirm with discomfort.  Oh, god, what he would give for a bottle of whiskey right then and there…  His hands were already starting to shake, and his mind was beginning to quail under the harsh reality thrown in his face without the buffer of a whiskey fog.

With grim determination, he slowly sat up and snubbed his cigar out in the ashtray, trying to act normal.  He only needed to make it through the speeches and the medal distributions.  Then, he could escape from this god-forsaken place and seek the comfort of his apartment, where one and a half bottles of whiskey were out on the kitchen table ready to be emptied.  Taking a deep breath, he kept a stern expression on his face as he stared at the mayor, bracing himself for what was to come.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the mayor began, and a hush immediately fell.  “I would like to begin this portion of the gala a bit differently than usual.  Rather than starting in with the speeches, we have a new addition to the program.  Since this is, regrettably, my last year as mayor hosting this most prestigious of events, I wanted to leave you all with a firm reminder of what has happened to this dear city, and how far we have come since this day, eight years ago.  I have been working diligently with a few members of my staff for the past year to put this together; so please, watch carefully, and remember the reason we have today to celebrate.”  He then stepped away from the podium as the lights dimmed even further.

There was a loud whirring sound as an enormous projection screen was lowered in front of the red velvet curtain, then the screen suddenly lit up, and a video started to roll.

The first scene exploded onto the screen, making several people jump at the noise.  The din was incredible—there were shouts, roars, thunder, gun shots—all the noise made in carnage.  Chaos was everywhere, from the torrential wind that carried trash cans miles into the air to the fires that were flaming out of control in nearby buildings.  Most buildings were obviously deserted, half of their walls missing and panes of glass sitting in empty windows.  As the camera panned around, flashes of separate fights could be seen.

There was Koga, sending a mighty kick at a rather hairy demon; there were Miroku and Sango, taking on an enormous centipede with only a gun and a staff.  Kaede could be seen on top of a pile of rubble, blood pouring out of one eye as she took aim at a harpy with an enormous crossbow.  Policemen were everywhere, trying to fight the oncoming surge of demons and keep their own fear down at the same time, as was evident in their faces.

The more Kagome saw, the more the scene sickened her.  It was horrible; there was so much death and destruction evident, and yet everybody was still fighting, still trying so hard to protect their city.  She knew exactly what the footage was.  She had seen clips of this before in her history class at school, although nothing had been quite so graphic as this.  As she watched, she saw Koga ensnared by his opponent, and Miroku was sent flying by the centipede.  Several officers were taken down by the surge of demons that she was forced to wonder how the cameraman had not perished as well.

But as the camera continued to move forward, she finally saw the source of all the carnage; there was the demon Naraku standing atop a mound of crushed automobiles, rubble, and bodies, crowing with laughter as he watched the attempts of the city to take him down.

However, something caught her eye, and as she squinted closely at the background, she noticed a smudge of dark black hair and a smudge of stark white hair, and realization smacked her in the head like a ton of bricks.  She quickly turned around to check on Inu-Yasha, for she had been so caught up in the footage that she had not comprehended the effect such a thing might have on her patient.

Inu-Yasha was white as a ghost, sitting ramrod straight in his chair and staring at the screen with unblinking eyes.  He had never been expecting such a thing, but as soon as the video had begun playing, he had been sucked back into a time he had never wished to visit again.  He didn’t notice when Kagome put a hand on his knee, trying to snap him out of it, but it didn’t work. 

What he did notice was the faint gunshot heard in the background, although in his ears it was as loud as a siren.  As he stared while the white blur on the screen slumped to the ground, his hand automatically went to his chest where the bullet had penetrated it, and he let out a soft cry of pain.  But what hurt even worse was the moment afterward.  Merely a few seconds after the white blur had gone down, it was back up, high in the air, coming down straight at the black-haired person, who had become a bit clearer as she walked closer to Naraku.  However, she was knocked down in a spray of red, and Inu-Yasha made a small choking sound in the back of his throat at the sight.  Kagome saw his hands clench into fists. 

For a few minutes after Inu-Yasha and Kikyo were both on the ground, the scene before them was similar to the beginning of the clip, with chaos and bloodshed reigning.  But out of nowhere came a bloodcurdling roar, and Inu-Yasha came flying from the top of the screen, so fast that he had been completely unnoticed by the cocky Naraku—it had been a fatal mistake.  The flash of light that ensued effectively covered up Inu-Yasha’s rather gory attack of driving his claws straight through the demon’s heart, and then a deafening explosion echoed throughout the room, and the video cut to static.

In the silence that followed once the sounds of the explosion died out, only Kagome heard Inu-Yasha whisper, in a voice so soft and small, “…Kikyo…”

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Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for part 3!  Please, leave a review and let me know what you think.

Thank you to all who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 20: The Gala (Part 3)

Slowly, with heavy footsteps, the mayor approached the podium once again, the sound of his polished black shoes echoing like thunder in the utter silence that followed the video.  Gripping the podium with both hands, he paused for a moment, staring out at all the somber faces in the audience.

“Will those who were there that day…” he began quietly, though his voice still seemed overly loud in the microphone, “…please stand up.”

The sound of chairs scraping on the floor filled the room as, one by one, policemen and demons alike got to their feet.  Sango and Miroku joined them, holding the other’s hand for support and comfort—they too had been affected by the footage, and had been reminded of a time that was hardly pleasant.  Turning to look at Inu-Yasha, who had not moved an inch, Miroku gingerly put his hand on the demon’s shoulder, uncertain if Inu-Yasha was going to explode in fury or collapse in remorse.

For the moment, Inu-Yasha himself was uncertain.  For a few seconds, he had been back at the scene of the battle, struggling to keep a grip on his sanity as he held his lifeless fiancé in his arms, her blood dripping to the ground due to his handiwork.  He felt the harsh wind whipping around him, heard the booming explosions in the background, smelt the tangy, metallic scent of blood in the air… 

However, something jarred him out of that time, cutting into his memories like an axe.  Suddenly taking a deep, gasping breath, he blinked rapidly, try to will the images away.  Kagome sat in front of him, her hands on his arms and softly whispering his name, and he realized it was her voice that had severed his nightmare.

“Inu-Yasha…” she was saying, her voice thick with concern.  “Inu-Yasha!”

She couldn’t help but give a short sigh of relief when he seemed to return to reality, his eyes no longer having the glassy, glazed stare, but worry still had a firm grip on her.  The look on his face broke her heart; he looked frightened and lost, unsure of what to do.  It was as though the walls he had so carefully constructed over the past eight years had been ripped down like they were paper, exposing the hurt, guilt-ridden boy cowering behind them.

“Inu-Yasha…” she said again, carefully moving her hands down to his fists that were clenched tightly on top of his knees, shaking like leaves.  His wide-eyed gaze flicked down, and he slowly turned his hands over, displaying four gashes on each palm where his claws had dug in.  Silently, Kagome lifted the napkin out from under her wine glass and tenderly wiped off the wounds.

As she was cleaning the cuts, Inu-Yasha felt some pressure on his shoulder, and he turned to see Miroku standing by him.

“Hey…” he said quietly, looking a bit rattled himself after seeing the video.  “Are you able to stand?”

Unable to ask why, for he doubted he could even speak, Inu-Yasha looked around the room, and realized that several people were on their feet, looking solemnly up at the mayor while the rest of the room watched in silence.  Swallowing hard, he pulled his hands out of Kagome’s, roughly shook his head at Miroku’s offer of help, the pushed himself to his feet, nearly sitting back down again as his legs almost gave out.  His limbs felt like rubber, and he couldn’t keep his hands from shaking as he placed them on the table for support.  Still reeling from the surprise of the video, he moved like he was in a fog.

The mayor, who apparently had been waiting for him to stand, stepped back from the podium and started to clap, looking soberly out at those who were on their feet.  It did not take long for the entire room to be filled with loud, tumultuous applause, that seemed to have no end.  It was the people’s way of showing the veterans of that battle how much their efforts were appreciated; for most of the fighters, while thoroughly embarrassed by the proceedings, they were touched by the gratitude shown.  For Inu-Yasha, it seemed to be a living hell.

When the full applause began, Kagome noticed her patient sway slightly, then glance around, looking like a trapped animal amidst a pack of predators.  His trembling worsened, and he was so pale that his skin was almost the color of his hair.  Without really thinking, she reached up and took his hand, wanting only to comfort him, and, much to her surprise, he automatically gripped it back, so hard that she almost cried out; she had not been expecting such a strong reaction.  But he seemed to need a steady presence, so she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, despite the fact that she could hardly feel her fingers.

At her touch, he finally looked down at her, still wild-eyed, but when he saw her giving him a worried smile, he took a shaky breath and shut his eyes, trying to gain control over himself.  Just a little longer… he thought, flattening his ears against his head to block out the hated sound of applause.  Just a little longer and I won’t have to deal with this for another year…  The thought of the whiskey sitting on his kitchen table was enough to make him shudder from desire.  He needed something, anything, to block out this awful event, to put a stop to the video that seemed to run in a continuous stream before his eyes.

“Inu-Yasha.”  Kagome’s voice broke into his thoughts once again.  “You can sit down now.”  She gave his arm a gentle tug.

As he eased himself back into his chair, he looked at her, never releasing her hand.  Slowly, he began to realize that she was the only thing that was keeping him from completely losing control.  She was focused on him, hardly paying a bit of attention to the mayor, who had begun to speak again, and was doing her best to keep him calm.  But, as he studied her closely, he could tell that she still had her own fears to deal with about the gala, fears that she was trying to keep hidden.  Taking a deep breath, he tried to get his thoughts in order; he needed to be there for her, if nothing else.  He would tough out the rest of the gala and make sure she got home safely, then he could go back to his apartment.  With that in mind, he set his face in a stern expression, pulled his hand from hers and crossed his arms, staring at the stage.

Kagome, although confused by his sudden change, was relieved to see that he was no longer so frightened.  While still pale and awfully shaky, he appeared to be in control of himself, so she let him be, keeping watch on him out of the corner of her eye.

“…cannot forget what happened during those dark days in this city’s history,” the mayor was saying, once the applause finally died out.  “We also cannot forget those who we have to thank for risking their lives to protect this place and those who inhabit it.  Will those who have fought the demon surge please come on stage.”

“Hm,” Kagome heard Sango whisper to Miroku as they stood.  “It seems they’ve changed the order this year.  Medals first, speeches next.  That’s odd.”

Then she felt Inu-Yasha get up, and when she looked up at him to give him a reassuring smile, the look on his face hinted that anger, guilt, and fear were all battling for dominance inside him; he never noticed her looking at him, he only walked slowly towards the stage as though it was his death march.  She knew it was because of the medal he was about to receive; she had realized during her time spent with him that he hated any and all shows of gratitude, and this medal embodied all of that appreciation in one item.  She could hardly blame him for not wanting to accept it.

With the aid of some high officials of the city, the mayor solemnly hung silver medals hanging from black ribbon around every police officers neck, symbolizing a high honor in the city’s police force.  The demons on stage, most of whom were hired by the Order, he hung silver medals with blue ribbon.  Sango and Miroku, who had long since been recognized as the leaders of the assault against Naraku, and who had also been known to have taken down the most demons during the battle, received silver medals with red and black ribbon, which served to label them as ‘honorary police chiefs’.

Inu-Yasha however, was forced to stand in front of the line of fighters, and the mayor personally approached him, holding a large gold medal with red, black, and blue ribbon hanging off it.  “For you, Inu-Yasha, you who slayed the demon Naraku, you who saved our city from a bleak and terrible future, I give you the ‘City Hero’ Award.  No longer will you be labeled as the ‘Hero of the Year’.  From now on you will always and forever be known as our hero.”  As he hung the medal around the demon’s neck, the entire room got to its feet and burst into cheers and applause, nearly knocking Inu-Yasha over from the sheer force of their joy.  Even the mayor stepped back and joined in the applause, giving Inu-Yasha a warm smile that demon could not return.

Kagome, who did stand and applaud as well, for she was grateful to them all, kept a close eye on Inu-Yasha.  The resolve he had found while sitting in his seat seemed to have disappeared the moment he got up on the stage, and he was looking now like he was about to faint or throttle the mayor, she was unsure which.

At last, when the clapping died down and the mayor invited the fighters to return to their seats so the speeches could begin, she noticed Inu-Yasha practically fly off the stage, pausing only to tug his medal off and shove it in Sango’s hands before disappearing out the door.  When Sango and Miroku returned to the table, both looking slightly confused, Kagome leaned over and whispered, “Where did he go?  Is he going home?”

“I’m not sure…” Miroku replied, gazing out at the exit.  “Although, I can hardly blame him.  I never expected the mayor to show that video.  It really shook him up.”

“Why did he show that if he knew it would affect Inu-Yasha so badly?” she asked, posing a question that had long since been on her mind.

“He didn’t know it would affect Inu-Yasha like it did, Kagome,” Sango broke in, reaching across the table to set the demon’s medal on top of the cigar tin by his seat.  “Kikyo’s death is known by very few people, and the mayor is not one of them.  Those who do know tend to keep quiet about it for respect to Inu-Yasha.  It was never broadcasted to the public, and Miroku and I made sure of that.  Inu-Yasha was so messed up after her death that we weren’t sure he could handle the ramifications.”

“Oh, dear…”  Glancing out the doorway, she finally whispered, “I’m going to go after him.  Just to make sure he’s all right.”

“Uh, Kagome, I’m not so sure that’s the best idea…” Miroku said warningly, trying to stop her.  “He’s probably about to go drinking now, and tonight he tends to get violent.  It would be safer for you if you were to visit him tomorrow.  Or possibly the next day.”

Frowning at him in disapproval, Kagome said sternly, “My safety is of no importance.  He is hurting right now, and needs help.  Now, if you’ll excuse me.”  She grasped her shawl and strode out of the room, a little miffed by Miroku’s behavior.

Once outside of the ballroom, she couldn’t help but give a short sigh of relief; she had never liked large crowds, and sitting in there had been positively stifling.  But, with a quick shake of her head, she focused on the task at hand.  Spotting their waiter, Hojo, sitting by the doorway and eavesdropping on the proceedings inside, she nudged his shoe with her foot to get his attention.

“Y-yes, ma’am?”  he asked, leaping to his feet when he saw her, a bit nervous to be caught slacking on the job.

“Did you see Inu-Yasha come this way?” she asked, allowing a tone of urgency to creep in so he would know it was important.

“Oh, yes, I did.  He said he was going to the roof.”

Kagome blinked in surprise.  Why would Inu-Yasha bother to tell anyone where he was going?  Unless…

“How do I get to the roof from here?”

Confused by the situation, for as a waiter he had never been asked to escort anyone to the roof, he said hesitantly, “Um, follow me…”  He led her outside of the mansion, blushing under the curious stairs of the staff as they went by.  Once outside, he led her to the side of the house, waiting a moment for her to remove her shoes because they were sinking into the grass, then pointed at a metal staircase winding up the side.

“This is the only way I know of to get up…” he told her sheepishly. 

“Thank you, Hojo,” she said, looking dubiously at the rusty steps.  “I’ll take it from here.”

“Do be careful, ma’am.  I’ll wait just inside the front door if you need anything else.”

Nodding at him, Kagome waited before he was around the corner before beginning her climb; after all, the metal grill at every landing was see-through, and she was wearing a dress.  Hojo seemed like a nice boy, but she didn’t want to take any chances.  Making the climb as quick as she could, for the metal chilled by the December wind felt like ice on her bare feet, she paused once on the stone roof to shove her shoes back on and give her feet some much-needed warmth.  After that, it only took a quick glance around to see Inu-Yasha’s white hair standing out like a beacon against the night sky.  He was sitting on the very edge of the roof, his feet dangling over the side while he took a deep pull from his flask.

“Hey…” she said quietly, coming up behind him.  “You’re not gonna jump, are you?”

Turning around to look at her, unsurprised by her presence, he noticed she was smiling at him, obviously teasing.  With a humorless chuckle, he went back to staring down at the city while she joined him on the roof’s edge.  “Nah…” he muttered.  “I don’t want to ruin the mayor’s lawn.”

He received a quiet laugh in reply, and then they both lapsed into silence.  He was still trying to calm down after the fury of emotions that had gripped him in the few seconds the mayor gave him the medal; rage at the man for putting him through such torture, even though he knew it wasn’t the mayor’s fault; guilt for accepting a medal that he most certainly did not deserve; and fear as Kikyo’s final moments continued to play in his mind, never to let him rest.  The mere thought of it all nearly took over him again, and he took another gulp from his flask, hoping the soothing drink would keep all his emotions at bay.

Kagome kept silent beside him, waiting patiently for him to speak.  Her legs were covered in goosebumps, her bottom was numb from the cold brick she was sitting on, and her shawl was offering her little warmth, but she did not stir.  Inu-Yasha clearly wanted her up here for a reason, and she was not going to budge until he did.

Looking around at the hustle and bustle of the inner city, which still remained active so late at night, she marveled at the view from so high.  They were about four stories high, and it was amazing what all could be seen.  She caught sight of several reporters still at the gates, apparently camping out until the gala was over and all the guests were leaving so they could snap some more pictures and possibly get a question or two answered.  Past them she could see the great, cavernous Crater, which was shrouded in shadow and looked more like an abyss than a crater in the darkness.  Further along, she saw all the flashing lights of bars and clubs in the inner city, buzzing with Peace Day revelers that celebrated the holiday with a night on the town.

Suddenly, she heard Inu-Yasha take a deep breath beside her, and she immediately brought her attention back to him, wondering what he was going to do next.  He had been silent for several minutes, apparently building up the courage to speak.

“Do… do you know why I drink so much?” he asked softly, keeping his gaze on his lap.

Silently, Kagome shook her head, not daring to speak.  She could hardly believe that, after so much time, he was actually going to tell her something she had been praying to uncover for weeks.

Glancing at the flask held loosely in his hand, he said, “It serves a dual-purpose for me, the drink.  It’s like a… a two-sided coin.”  He paused for a moment, deep in thought.    “…After the battle for the city, I was willing to do anything to ease the pain of Kikyo’s murder.  Hell, I was desperate to forget everything that had happened, everything I had done.  It wasn’t too long before I figured out what the booze could do, and when I took that first drink…”

He stared out at the cityscape, his thoughts drifting to a time long since past.  When he spoke, his voice was distant and far away.  “…I finally found the relief I’d been looking for.  No more nightmares, no more cruel reminders of my deeds…  Even the guilt was pushed away for awhile, and I could finally have a moment’s peace.”

Slowly, his fingers started to fiddle with the cap of his flask.  “Whiskey provided an escape from the nightmare, and that was all I wanted.  But still, despite the reprieve it gave, it never took away the pain.  Over the years, the hurt and the guilt never lessened, and I grew more and more dependent on the drink to make it through the day.  Things are still the same way now, as you know.”  He gave her a dry smile, then took a long draught of whiskey, almost as though he was trying to prove his point. 

Once he swallowed, he fell silent once again.  An icy breeze rushed past, and he enjoyed the feeling of his against his flushed face.  After a minute, though, he realized that Kagome was shivering next to him, trying hard to keep her teeth from chattering as she clutched her shawl about her as tight as possible.  Shrugging out of his jacket, he silently laid it over her shoulders, not daring to look at her.

“Thank you…”  She pulled it tightly around herself, breathing in deep.  It smelt of cigar smoke and whiskey, of course, but there was another scent, almost masked by the others; it was wild and earthy, and she realized it must be what he was like before his life was turned upside down.

“What’s the other purpose…?” she asked quietly after a moment, hoping to nudge him back into the conversation.

“Hm?”

“You said that drink served a dual-purpose.  What’s the other one?”

“Ah…”  He refused to meet her gaze.  This was the part of his story that he had been most concerned about revealing, and yet…  something about her actions tonight seemed to let him know that it would be all right if he opened this part of himself to her.

“I know what drinking has done to my life,” he began slowly.  “I’ve lost friends, work, trust, reliability…  The only people who have stuck by me are Sango and Miroku, and I think that’s mostly from guilt.”

Kagome opened her mouth to protest, for she knew the two did care very deeply for him, but Inu-Yasha shook his head, discouraging her attempt to speak.  If he didn’t finish saying his piece now, he doubted he’d ever work up the courage again.  Kagome didn’t know it, but she was the only person he had ever told his secret.  It was hard enough to let down his guard long enough to tell her, and he did not want any interruptions.

“I know I’ve messed up my life with this,” he continued, holding up the flask.  “But it’s been on purpose.”

“On purpose…?” Kagome repeated in disbelief, unable to stop herself.  “Why would you do something like that to yourself on purpose?”

“Please, Kagome…” he growled, his voice strained.  “Let me finish.”

She immediately closed her mouth and look down at her lap, pulling his coat tighter around her shoulders.  She tried not to take offense; this was difficult for him, and her nagging was not making it easier.  “Sorry…” she murmured.

With a slight nod of acceptance, he continued on, screwing and unscrewing the cap to his flask as he kept himself from taking another drink.  “I noticed after the first few weeks just how much I had grown dependent on alcohol.  It kind of scared me, to be honest.  So, for awhile after that, I swore off the stuff, kept myself sober…  And my god, I-I…” 

Unable to resist any longer, he pulled the cap off took a long swallow, trying to drink away the pain the memory held for him.   Only when the flask was empty did he pull it away from his lips, panting as the drink burned down his throat.

“I hated every second…” he finally mumbled.  “The physical effects were bad enough, but… when I came to realize what my drinking had done…  It hurt to see people I trusted turn their backs on me.  It hurt to see those who had relied on me sneering down at me instead.  It hurt to hear that Sango and Miroku had been promoted to the head of the Order while I’d been drinking my time away in some bar, never knowing.  Hell, even that old hag Kaede looked down on me in shame.  But… the more that became clear, the more I found out what I had lost, the more I came to realize…

He bowed his head, allowing his long silver locks to cover his face as though he didn’t wish for Kagome to see his true emotions.  “… I deserved it all,” he whispered, his fingers twitching around his flask once more.  “Every bit of that pain.  I still do.  That’s the reason I keep drinking, Kagome.  To punish myself.”  His voice became tight and soft, a sign of the torrent of feelings welling up inside him.

“I took her life away,” he went on, in a voice so soft Kagome could hardly hear it.  “She was only nineteen, but I saw fit to snatch away her remaining years.  One slash of my claws was all it took to steal the life of my bride-to-be.  One slash to save the city from a ‘bleak and terrible future’.  Hmph.”  He gave a humorless laugh.  “I ended up taking that future for myself.”

When he looked up and met Kagome’s eye, she saw this his own orbs were bloodshot and glassy—not from drink, but from tears.  “I did think of suicide,” he informed her, reminding her of her greeting.  “but I realized it would hurt far more to keep myself alive than to die with her.”

There.  He had finally said it.  But now he couldn’t stand it any longer.  Emotion was coming upon him faster than he was prepared for, and he hardly knew what to do with himself.  He wasn’t quite sure what he had expected to happen when he had left Kagome the subtle clue to join him on the roof, but baring his soul to her had not even been considered as an option.  And because of it, now he found himself thinking on things he would much rather keep buried.

Suddenly overcome with a terrible thirst for drink, he found that he no longer had the willpower to fight that urge.  He had been resisting it all evening, and had finally had enough.  Abruptly he got to his feet and tucked his flask into his back pocket, trying not to look at Kagome; the smell of salt had long ago drifted to his nose, a sign that she was weeping, which only added to the turmoil of emotions inside him.

“I need to go,” he said hoarsely around the lump in his throat.  “Will you be able to make it home all right?”

“Y-yes…” she replied softly, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of his jacket in a futile attempt to stop crying.  When she did look up again, she saw that he was already gone, leaping noiselessly from rooftop to rooftop as fast as he could.

It took a few minutes before she got control of herself; she was surprised to realize how difficult it had been to simply listen to Inu-Yasha’s tale.  She knew Kikyo’s death weighed heavily on his heart, but only after hearing all of the guilt, pain, and regret in his voice as he spoke was she able to understand how deeply he was cut.

But still, as she slowly made her way down to the first floor and followed Hojo back inside to her seat, she couldn’t help but feel a small bit of relief.  He had finally opened up to her, and told her the truth that she had patiently been waiting for.  Perhaps now she could finally begin to heal his mind.

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oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Well, I hope this explained a few things.  Thank you for reading, and please, leave a review and tell me what you think!

Thank you to you who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 21: Release

“Are you absolutely certain you want to do this, Kagome?” Miroku asked worriedly as they climbed out of the limo in front of the Order’s headquarters.  “It’s been almost two hours since you let him go home—he’s going to be in no shape for company.  Do I need to remind you what he did to me?”  He held up his left arm, where Kagome knew that four scar marred his skin underneath the jacket.

Kagome sighed, walking over to her car and unlocking it.  “No, you don’t need to remind me; I’m well aware of what I’m about to face.  But I have to have faith in Inu-Yasha.  He told me that he could never hurt me, and I have to believe that.”

“Be reasonable, Kagome,” Sango cut in sternly, joining Miroku on the curb while Kagome climbed into the driver’s seat.  “The man’s a drunk—any promise he makes when he’s sober flies out the window after he’s had a few drinks.  Surely you know that by now!  Trust us on this; we’ve been through seven of these galas with him.  You’re only going to get yourself hurt if you go over there now.”

Rolling down her window, Kagome frowned at the two of them, and both Sango and Miroku took a step back in surprise at the look on her face.  “Perhaps he always acts so poorly,” she began slowly, “because that’s what’s expected of him.”

Miroku blinked in confusion.  “What?  What do you mean by that?”

“From what I understand, you treat him every year like he’s some drunken monster, just waiting to rip off a limb from the first unsuspecting person who walks into his apartment.  While I don’t deny that might just be the case, I also think that he acts that way because you treat him that way.  Perhaps a little kindness, rather than fear and anger, might help him through the night without so many regrets the next morning.”

Though looking rather pensive at the comment, Miroku shook his head.  “That’s as may be.  We just don’t want to see you get hurt.  His tongue can be as sharp as his claws, and it’s difficult to avoid having one’s feelings bruised as well as one’s skin.  Please, won’t you reconsider?”

Beginning to grow rather nervous at their insistence to stay, for they seemed to be hinting that she might be going in over her head, Kagome tried to hide her growing doubts and quickly shook her head.  “No.  My mind is made up.  If he is such a wreck, then he needs someone there with him.  Otherwise he’ll never get better.”

With a heavy sigh, Sango rubbed her temples where a headache was starting.  “Fine.  If that’s how you feel about it…  We’ll go with you.  It’ll be harder for him to attack when there’s three of us rather than one.”

Kagome peered at them through the window.  “…Do you really think he’s going to attack me?”

Sango shrugged.  “I don’t really know.  We do know just because you’re his friend doesn’t mean he won’t lash out at you—Miroku’s living proof of that.  Don’t think you’re immune just because you two are close.  So, Miroku and I will go with you, that way we can hold him down while you do your thing.”

A dry smile tugged at Kagome’s lips.  “Well, while I appreciate the offer very much, I think you’re offering for the wrong reasons.  Besides, I think Inu-Yasha might feel more comfortable if it’s just me there; all three of us might make it seem like a confrontation, and he doesn’t seem to be the type to handle those well.”

The look on their faces proved her statement to be true, so she decided it was time to leave.  As she rolled her window up and turned the key to bring her car to life, she saw Miroku tap on the window, both he and Sango looking grave.  With a sigh, she rolled it down one last time.  “Yes?”

“If you need us, for anything, please just call.  We’ll be there.”

Smiling lightly, she nodded, touched by their offer.  This one, unlike Sango’s offer to ‘hold him down’, seemed to be genuine, and Kagome knew that they really were concerned about their friend.  “Thank you.”

Sango and Miroku both stepped back to the curb as she pulled away, watching worriedly until she turned a corner and went out of sight.  “I hope she’ll be okay…” Sango said softly, pulling her shawl tighter about her shoulders.

Looking down at her, Miroku smiled gently and took her hand.  “Sango, if anyone can handle Inu-Yasha, it’s Kagome.”  Still seeing doubt in her eyes, he added, “Maybe it’s time we stop having such faith in Inu-Yasha’s actions and more faith in Kagome’s.”

Sango looked at up him, clearly uncertain what to think.  “It’s hard to go against seven years of proof of his rotten behavior.  But on the other hand…  Kagome’s changed him, that’s for certain.”  Sighing she shook her head.  “Oh, I don’t know.”

With a light laugh, Miroku put an arm around her shoulders and led her over to his car that was also parked by the curb.  “Come on, let me take you home.  It’s been a long night.”

“Huh.  I’ll say.  I can’t wait to get out of this dress.”

“Aw, why?  You look so lovely in it!  I think you should wear it to work tomorrow.”

Although blushing a bright red, Sango pinched his hand as it started to slide below her shoulder blades.  “You know, the only reason I didn’t slap you during the dance tonight was because we were being watched by dozens of people.  Since we’re alone now, you don’t have that buffer, so I would watch where you put your hands.”

“Hmph.”  Pulling his hand away and blowing on the sore spot while he held the car door open for her, he said in a whiny voice, “You know, you should be glad that I wanted you to leave your dress on.  Most other men would be overjoyed to hear you want to get out of it!  OUCH!”  He received another vicious pinch at the comment.

“That is exactly where your mind went when I said that, you lech, and don’t try to deny it!”

Now blowing on two wounds, he walked around to the driver’s side and climbed in.  “I think I prefer being slapped to being pinched…” he whimpered.

Sighing, Sango rested her head in her hand.  “Just take me home, and I can get you some ice, okay?”

Although he remained silent as he started the car and pulled out onto the road, he couldn’t stop a grin from spreading across his face;  getting invited into her apartment had been his final goal, after all.  Sango looked over at him, and, seeing the grin, let out a soft groan and looked away.

oOoOoOoOoOo

“Finally…” Kagome breathed, wiping her sweaty bangs from her eyes.  Climbing six flights of stairs in a dress had been bad enough, but this time she was climbing six flights of stairs in a dress with an overnight bag slung over one shoulder.  It contained a pair of pajamas and another set of clothes for the next day; she had a feeling the whole ordeal with Inu-Yasha could go well into the night, and did not want to spend the night sleeping on his couch in a very nice, very expensive evening gown.  She had considered changing into a different outfit inside the restroom in the lobby, but the whole apartment building was rather dingy and grimy, and she didn’t even want to imagine how unsanitary the restroom was.  So, she decided to tough it out and climb up to Inu-Yasha’s apartment in her gown.  At the end of the climb, she was debating whether or not she had made the right decision, but it was too late to bother.

For awhile, she simply stood in front of the door, panting from exertion.  To be honest, she really was nervous about going inside.  Sango and Miroku’s constant warnings had hit home, and she couldn’t help but think of the four white scars on Miroku’s forearm or the grave looks on their faces when they thought back to galas past.  She also couldn’t help but recall the night of the rally, and how powerful Inu-Yasha’s anger had been.  She swallowed hard at the thought.

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head to clear such thoughts away and stood up straight, trying to instill confidence.  “Don’t worry, Kagome,” she said quietly, not wanting to disturb the neighbors with her self-pep talk.  “You handled him then, you can handle him now.  Besides, you’ve done nothing wrong this time around—you even had a breakthrough with him earlier!  Now stop being such a wimp and go in there and do your job!”

With confidence her movements, she grabbed the doorknob and flung open the door, then paused before entering—she probably shouldn’t be so obnoxious.  With quieter steps, she slowly walked in and quietly shut the door, squinting around the dark apartment.  The light in the kitchen was on, which gave her enough light to see by, but she still had to be careful not to bump into anything as she padded over to the couch and set her duffel bag, purse, shawl, shoes, and Inu-Yasha’s coat down.  Then, not realizing that she was trying to be absolutely silent, for the heaviness of the air seemed to muffle all sounds, she walked over to the doorway of the kitchen and peered inside.  “Inu-Yasha?” she asked softly, not wanting to scare him.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, slumped over a tumbler with an almost full bottle of whiskey clenched in his fist; another empty bottle was on its side a few inches away from his foot.  An open pack of cigarettes and a lighter were laying next to an ashtray, but the smoking cigarette in the ashtray appeared to have been abandoned for drink, for the stick was burned down almost to the filter.  His cummerbund was strewn across the other end of the table, while his bowtie still hung untied around his neck.  His unbuttoned sleeves and open shirt added to his disheveled appearance. 

He had been mumbling quietly to himself, but when Kagome said his name, he suddenly went silent.  Slowly turning his head, he stared at her with hazy, bloodshot eyes, and his gaze was none-too friendly.  Swallowing hard, she held up a hand to show that she was backing off.  “I was… just checking in,” she said, taking a step back.  “I’ll just go… um, change clothes.”

After gazing eerily at her for another moment longer, he turned back to his drink and drained the entire tumbler, then automatically poured more whiskey in as soon as he set it down on the table.  Kagome frowned in worry at the sight, but simply shook her head and stepped away, thinking it best not to walk in unprepared.

Inu-Yasha shut his eyes as his unwelcome visitor left the room, already forgotten.  He was far too focused on the blurry images swirling around his head to waste any attention on the real world.  A soft groan escaped him as scenes from the video continued to play before his eyes as a never-ending reminder of why he was doing this to himself now.

“Damn you, Naraku…” he muttered, coherent only in his own ears.  “Takin’ Kikyo away from me…  We was gonna get married, y’know…  Her an’ me…”  He grimaced as the video in his head displayed the spray of red that was Kikyo’s blood, and leaned back in his chair as he drank the tumbler dry in an effort to chase the image away.  Why did he do it?  Why did he take Kikyo’s life away?

He moaned as he slumped forward again.  He asked himself that question every year, and never had come up with an answer that he deemed worthy.  “I was told to…” he mumbled into the table as he rested his head on his arm, trying to come up with an excuse.  “They told me, ‘if Kikyo joins wi’ Naraku, you gotta stop ‘er, at all costs’.  At all costs…  I wish I woulda known wha’ that meant…  Shoulda jus’ taken you away, Kikyo…  Taken ya outta th’ city…  Not kill ya…”  He cringed at his last words and dragged his eyes open, slowly tipping the bottle to pour another drink.  “Coulda just let somebody else kill Naraku, you an’ me wouldn’ have t’ deal wi’ him anymore.  Jus’ leave th’ city behind…”

Deep down in the sober recesses of his mind, he knew why he hadn’t just carted her away; his conscience wouldn’t allow him to let the city fall under the rule of such a terrible monster.  But he had always hated himself for choosing the city over Kikyo, no matter how corrupt she had become.  In his mind, she was still his savior, his love, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.  No matter how many gifts of gratitude the city showered upon him, he always regretted his final decision.

“Damn it, Kikyo, I didn’ wanna do it…  I didn’ want to…”

oOoOoOo

Kagome emerged from the bedroom, relieved to be out of the evening gown and in her favorite cat print pajamas.  She had purposefully taken her time getting changed so that she could gather her wits; she knew that Sango and Miroku had forewarned her, but she still hadn’t been quite prepared for the sight she’d been greeted with. 

Taking a deep breath, she slowly made her way out into the living room, making sure to tread softly past the kitchen.  She did pause to peek inside, but Inu-Yasha had hardly moved from the position she’d left him in, although he was mumbling to himself once again.  Wishing she could hear what he was saying, she simply shook her head and went over to the pile she had left on the couch.

After gently draping her gown over the back of the armchair, she went over to her duffel bag and started to place her shoes inside, then paused when she caught sight of a bit of gold.  Reaching into the bag, she pulled the cigar tin and the ‘City Hero’ medal out, staring thoughtfully at them for a moment.  Since Inu-Yasha had left the gala rather abruptly, she had snagged them on her way out.  She wasn’t certain if he wanted them or not, but thought it would be best to take them with her, just in case.

“Hm…”  She could use them as a way to spark a conversation with the demon.  Yes, she knew that he hated the sight of the medal, but it was a risk she would have to take.  She needed to try and distract him from whatever it was that was spurring his drinking on, and if this was what it took, so be it.  Squaring her shoulders, she turned around and slowly entered the kitchen.

For a moment, she paused and studied him closely; he was uttering low growls every now and again into his glass.  His right hand was still clutching the bottleneck like a lifeline, and he was resting his forehead against the side of the bottle as though he needed to constantly reassure himself of its presence.  He never even noticed that she had entered the room.  She had never seen him so lost in a whiskey daze before; it was as though he wanted to sink further and further away from harsh reality, but the world he seemed to be wandering in was just as hard on him as the real one.

Trying hard to stay in control of herself, for she was gravely worried to see him in such a condition, she carefully approached the table and asked slowly, “Inu-Yasha?”

The far-away look in his eyes disappeared in a moment as his gaze suddenly locked on her, a snarl at his lips.  He said nothing, only stared unblinking at her, his red-rimmed eyes causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand up.  He was not in his right mind at all. 

For a moment, Kagome had to search for her voice, for his gaze was that intense.  However, she had to remind herself, He said he would never hurt me, no matter how drunk he is, no matter how angry he is.  Trust him.  So, swallowing hard, she asked with only a slight waver in her voice, “I brought these home from the gala, and I didn’t know if you wanted them or not.”  She displayed the two items for him.

For some reason, his gaze softened as he looked at the items, and he looked almost wistful as he stretched a hand towards them.  “Gifts…” he slurred, so low that it was difficult for Kagome to hear.  Suddenly, he slapped the cigar tin out of her hands, where it crashed into the floor with a clatter, making Kagome jump in surprise.  Then he reached for the medal, grasping it and pulling it closer to his face with a sad expression that contradicted his violent swipe a second earlier.

“’City Hero…’”  Slowly, effortlessly, he closed his fist around the medal, and when he opened his palm again, the heavy gold was folded in two. 

“Inu-Yasha…” Kagome said again, hesitant and unsure of what to do.  She had never seen him like this before.  “Please, tell me what’s wrong—“

“SHUT UP!!” he suddenly bellowed, making her leap from fright.  He hurled the damaged medallion across the room, where it clanged into the sink and made the awful sound of metal against metal until it finally skidded to a halt in the drain.  “Leave me alone!  I didn’ want you t’ come here!”

Taking a deep breath to ease her tense nerves, Kagome replied, “I can’t leave you alone; you need help, Inu-Yasha.  Please, won’t you let me help you?”

His furious gaze easing into one of tired annoyance, he turned away from her in disinterest and took a deep gulp from his glass.  “It ain’t worth it…” he muttered, resting his forehead against the bottle once again.  “No more medals…  No more gifts…  I ain’t worth it…”

Confusion threatening to take over, Kagome shook her head; it wouldn’t do to try and figure out the cause of his strange behavior.  What was most important was getting him to stop drinking for the night.  However, any attempt she made to pry the bottle from his grasp made for a spark in his temper and some furious growls, and she soon retreated to the living room to get a moment’s peace.

She finally decided to wait until he had drunk his fill before going in and helping him to bed—he had made it clear that she wasn’t going to make off with the precious commodity, and she was afraid he would wake the other tenants if he got any louder in his protests.  So, taking a seat on the couch, she turned the television on and settled down to wait.

Watching him was one of the worst tasks to do; as a nurse, it was incredibly difficult to watch someone poison their body with that much liquor, and as his friend, her heart ached to ease the pain that spurred his drinking on.  She desperately wanted to help him, to talk to him, to do anything to take away the hurt, but he wouldn’t allow it, and she could do nothing but sit and watch.

oOoOo

It wasn’t until one o’ clock in the morning before he finally drained the last few droplets from the whiskey bottle.  After swallowing, he rested his head on the table, uttering a low moan as he gave a shudder.  Ever-watchful, even after almost two full hours, Kagome sighed and stood up, knowing it was finally time to intervene.  However, before she even made it to the kitchen, she stopped, watching in amazement as Inu-Yasha slowly got to his feet.

For a moment, he leaned heavily against the table, obviously dizzy and looking more than a little sick.  But after a few seconds he staggered over to the counter, pausing only to get his bearings before reaching up and groping for the cabinet handle.  His perception was clearly skewed, and it took him several tries before grasping the knob by pure luck. 

As he flung open the door and peered drunkenly inside at the empty shelves, Kagome decided to step in.  “Inu-Yasha…” she began quietly, stepping into the kitchen.  “It’s all gone.  There’s no more.”

Though he never turned to look at her, he obviously heard, for his shoulders slumped and his hand dropped down.

“Please, won’t you come to bed?” she continued, taking a step closer to him.  “You need to sleep; it’s been a long, difficult day, and if you go to sleep, it will finally be over.  Don’t you want that?”

Inu-Yasha slowly turned around, keeping a firm grip on the counter the entire time.  Yes, he did want that.  He wanted to go to sleep and have this hellish reality be done.  But…  His glassy-eyed stare slid to the empty whiskey bottle on the table, and a soft whine escaped from his throat.  He was so close… so close to drinking away all those horrible images running rampant in his head…  So close to being rid of them for good, if he only had a little more…

Kagome watched the strange play of emotions cross his flushed face, until he finally settled on determination.  With a great deal of effort, he pushed off the counter and staggered to the doorway, brushing her aside as he passed.

“Inu-Yasha?” she asked, her tone rising as her worry increased.  She quickly chased after him, and, realizing that he was heading for the door, managed to block it before he ever got close.  “Where do you think you’re going?  You’re in no condition to be going anywhere.”

Seeing his way blocked, he abruptly stopped, swaying dizzily and placing a hand on his side table to stay upright.  “Muh…move…” he rasped, trying to glare at one of the four Kagomes spinning in his vision.  “Jus’ need… a li’l more…”

“I’m not moving until you turn around and get in bed,” she replied sternly, trying to sound firm even though she really wanted to cry; it was horrible to see him so lost.

His temper flaring suddenly, his eyes flashed and he growled, “Get away from th’ door, ya damn woman.  I want s’more whiskey an’ you aren’ helpin’.”

“No,” came Kagome’s even reply, although her voice was shaky.

She saw his whole body tense at the answer, and soon his feeble hold over his temper shattered.  “I said MOVE!!” he roared, bringing his fist down on the table so hard that it shattered. 

“No,” she said again, unable to keep from shaking at the frightening display of power.

His eyes wide with fury and his limbs trembling from rage, he bellowed, “Dammit, bitch, I need more whiskey!!   GET AWAY FROM THE DAMN DOOR!!”

Kagome could bear it no longer.  Frightened for her own safety and fighting hard to hold back her tears she had been restraining all evening, she burst out, “Oh, Inu-Yasha, please!  You don’t need any more whiskey!  Why?  What could you possibly want any more for?  You’ve already destroyed your life, what more could you possibly do with it?!”

For a moment, he seemed to be frozen in place, the wide-eyed glare and bared fangs making her uncertain if he really was going to attack her.  But slowly his tense muscles relaxed, and he hung his head, staggering to the left until his shoulder bumped into the wall.  He slid down to the floor and sat there, where only a few shudders indicated that he was still conscious.

Silence reigned for a few moments.  Kagome was still pressed against the door, to terrified to move.  But the sound that finally broke into her thoughts was a choked sob, coming from the mound on the floor.

She blinked, then finally took a step away from the door as she looked down at Inu-Yasha.  His shoulders were shaking, and she heard another moan escape from the mass of hair that obscured his face.  “Inu-Yasha…” 

Despite the extent of her fear, seeing her tormentor appear so weak and fragile chased the feeling away, and she walked over and sat down next to him.  Peeking at his face from under his white bangs, she saw that tears were falling from eyes squeezed shut, and a fang was jutted over his lip as he tried to stop the inevitable.

“Oh, Inu-Yasha…”  She gingerly put an arm around his shoulders and gave him a gentle squeeze, and that was all the invitation he needed.  With a pained wail, he crumpled into her lap, gripping the fabric of her pajamas and sobbing openly as all of the emotions of the evening came crashing down upon him.

Kagome cradled his head in her arms, stroking his hair and murmuring soothing words as he wept, tears that had been building up for seven years coming forth.

“I’m so sorry…” he cried, over and over, shaking his head.  “I’m so sorry…  for everything…  For Kikyo…  For Sango and Miroku…  For you…  I’m so sorry…”

Kagome could hardly hold back her own tears as she listened to him, feeling all the intense, raw grief coming out.  But at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel some small bit of happiness; this was exactly what he needed to do.  He needed to let everything go.

“I…I-I don’ wanna hurt you…” he whimpered.  “I don’ wanna hurt anybody…  I never meant to…”

“Shh…” she said softly, continuing to stroke his hair as his sobs slowly began to wane.  “I know you don’t.  I know.  Everything will be all right.  You’ll see.  Everything will be fine…”

He sniffled, and took a shuddering breath, keeping a firm grip on her pajamas, for it offered a strange amount of comfort to him.  “I’m sorry, Kagome…” he whispered softly.

Allowing a single tear to slide down her cheek, she replied, “Thank you.”

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Well, there you have it.  Thanks for reading, and please leave a review.  I’m very interested in your thoughts on this one.

Thank you to all who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 22: Solid Proof

“Sango, please, slow down!” Miroku panted as he took the stairs two at a time to catch up with his partner.  “I’m sure everything’s all right, there’s no need to rush!”

“She never called us,” Sango replied tersely as she strode up the stairs, not slowing down in the slightest.  “We told her to call us for help, and she never called.”

“Then it’s probably a good thing,” he tried to say soothingly, finally falling into step with her.  “She was able to calm him down on her own.  I don’t think you should be so worried.”

“And I don’t think you’re worried enough.  Did you ever think of the other possible scenario?  That she was unable to reach the phone because he attacked her?”

“Sango.”  Miroku abruptly stopped and grabbed hold of her arm, turning her around to face him.  Looking sternly into her fierce brown eyes, he reminded her, “I thought we were going to try and trust Kagome more.  I think this is the perfect opportunity to do that, don’t you?”

Sango glanced worriedly up the stairs, clearly impatient to get moving.  “But—“

“Sango.” 

With a sigh, she finally stopped trying to pull away and stood still, staring down at her shoes.  “I wish I had your faith in her,” she said.  “But Inu-Yasha is so stubborn, and Kagome is just a little slip of a woman.  You know how angry he gets…”

“I do know,” he agreed.  “But you forget—Kagome is the one who got him to stop drinking for four days when he got out of the hospital.  She’s the one who he got awfully close with during the dance at the gala.  She’s the one who has survived almost two months spending every day in his apartment.  She’s the one who actually went back to him even after his atrocious behavior after the rally.”  He gave her a knowing grin.  “What more proof do you need?”

Nodding grudgingly, she turned and started to make her way up the stairs again.  “I still want to check in.  Just to see how it went.”

He knew she didn’t really believe him, and that she was only saying that to appease him, but he merely shrugged and followed after her.  Truth be told, he was a little anxious himself, and really did want to make sure Kagome was all right.  It was easy enough to say that he had faith in her, but to actually believe it was another matter entirely.

Once on the seventh floor, Miroku knocked lightly on the door, hoping not to disturb anyone due to the early hour they were out, then carefully pushed it open and stepped back so Sango could enter first.  She quickly entered the apartment with Miroku hot on her heels, and then both stopped abruptly, uncertain how to react to the sight they were greeted with.

Straight ahead of them they saw the splintered remains of Inu-Yasha’s side table scattered over the floor, topped with yet another telephone broken from the fall.  But to the right sat Kagome, sound asleep against the wall in her cat pajamas with Inu-Yasha’s head on her lap, the demon in a dead sleep himself with one hand fisted in her pajama shirt.  Neither had stirred upon their arrival.

Looking back and forth between the scenes, Miroku finally said, “I told you she could calm him down.”

“Hmph.”  With a slight scowl, Sango stepped closer to the sleeping pair and studied them closely.  “It doesn’t look like she’s hurt at all…” she said, checking Kagome’s face for cuts or bruises.  “And I don’t see any blood on dog-boy’s claws…  But if he was angry enough to smash a table, how did she keep him from attacking her?”

“Well, why don’t we ask?”  Crouching down next to Sango,  Miroku gently shook Kagome’s shoulder, easing her into wakefulness.  “Good morning,” he said cheerily as she blinked sleepily at them.  “Sleep well?”

Groaning a bit as she sat up straight, Kagome yawned wide before answering.  “Not hardly.  Sleeping on the floor is incredibly uncomfortable.  And cold.  And he’s rather heavy.”  But there was a slight smile on her face, and they knew she was in a very good mood, despite her discomfort.

His grin broadening, for her being in a good mood was a very good sign for the events of the previous night, he asked lightly, “And how, pray tell, did he end up on your lap, anyway?”

At the question, Kagome looked down at the slumbering demon with a fond look in her eyes, and she gently stroked his hair.  One of his ears twitched, the only sign that he was still even alive.  “That is a long story, and now is not the time to tell it,” she said finally, glancing back up at them.  “We need to take care of him first.  Could you help me up?”

With the aid of Sango and Miroku, she was able to climb out from under Inu-Yasha with only a slight disturbance, although after being jostled so much his face puckered into a slight frown, and he did not seem to like relinquishing his hold on her pajamas.  But, after a bit of work, she freed herself and joined the two looking down at the motionless lump on the floor.

“…He looks awful,” Sango finally said after a few moments of silence, and she spoke the truth.  His hair was mussed and tangled, his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, and his once-fine tuxedo was rumpled and stained after his night of drinking.

Kagome shrugged a little.  “Well, he had a rough night.  I don’t think we can blame him for looking a little disheveled, hm?”  Suddenly, she frowned and crouched down next to him, closely studying his face.  Ever since she had climbed out from underneath him, a frown had marred his features, and now his brows were pinched together as his mouth twitched, looking like he was trying to speak without opening his lips.  “Oh dear…  Okay, we need to wake him.  Sango, go get a glass of cold water from the kitchen, please.  Miroku, can you help me sit him up?”

Sango quickly obeyed while Miroku stepped over, and together they carefully pulled the demon into a sitting position.  “What’s wrong with him?  Why do we need to wake him up?  It looks like sleep will do him more good than anything at the moment.”

“I agree; he didn’t pass out until well past one o’ clock this morning, so I’m sure he isn’t even half finished sleeping off all he drank.  But we need to wake him, get him to the bathroom, and then put him to bed.”  She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.  “Unless you want to scrub regurgitated whiskey out of the carpet.”

Grimacing in realization, Miroku eagerly looked up when Sango entered with the glass of water and stepped aside so she could reach Inu-Yasha easier.  After a quick glance at Kagome to make certain it was what she was supposed to do, she tossed the entire glass into Inu-Yasha’s face.

After the initial twitch, they were uncertain if the tactic worked, for he didn’t move.  But after a moment they heard a low groan, and he slowly cracked his eyes open; it was obvious he was hardly lucid, or even conscious, but it was enough that Kagome nodded at Miroku, and together they hefted him to his feet.

“Good morning, Inu-Yasha!” Kagome said brightly to their somewhat more-than-disoriented cargo as they half-dragged, half-carried him down the hallway.  She was hoping talking loudly would keep him awake long enough to get through the tasks that needed to be done in the restroom.  “Did you have a good night’s sleep?  You certainly slept like a rock, I can assure you.”  She tried to contain a laugh as she watched Inu-Yasha, feeling rather sorry for him; he desperately needed more sleep as it was very hard to ignore the pull of a bottle and a half of whiskey, but the look on his face was absolutely priceless as he was constantly jolted awake by her voice right in his ear.

Easing him into the bathroom, they propped him up against the sink and placed his hands on the edge so he was able to hold himself steady, only needing to lean against Miroku a bit.  Miroku watched a little apprehensively as the demon stared blankly into the basin, merely looking like he was considering falling asleep right there.

“Um… what do we do now?  He’s not doing anything,” Miroku finally asked after a few moments.

Kagome took a step towards the door.  “Oh, just give him a second.  It’ll come—“  And she was interrupted when Inu-Yasha suddenly groaned, and his work began.  Quickly turning away as Miroku spluttered in disgust, she called over her shoulder, “I’m going to get the bedroom ready.  Be sure to hold his hair out of the way, all right?”

Giving Sango, who seemed to be enjoying the sound of Miroku’s protests, a sly wink and a grin, Kagome went into the bedroom to prepare the bed, Sango joining her.

“So…  How did things go last night?” Sango asked, helping Kagome pull the pillows and blankets off so they could change the sheets.  “We saw the broken side table, but you two were sleeping so peacefully…  Oh, and I saw his medal all bent up inside the kitchen sink, too.  What happened?”

Kagome shook her head, her mischievous grin fading as she tugged the sheets off the bed.  “He was in such an odd mood…” she said finally as she tossed the sheets aside and went over to the closet to get fresh ones.  “He was so detached, and lost…  And he never seemed to get enough to drink.  He always needed more.  I tried to take the bottle away, but he put up a terrible fuss.”

Sango nodded, knowing full well what Kagome was talking about; she did, after all, have plenty of experience with the demon and his actions after the gala.

“He would glare so furiously at me whenever I asked him a question or tried to speak to him, but he sounded sad when I showed him the medal and the mayor’s cigar tin he had left at the gala; he ended up slapping the tin out of my hands, then he broke his medal, and then he shouted at me and threw it across the room.”

With a frown, Sango absently accepted the new sheets Kagome handed to her.  “Did he hurt you last night, Kagome?”

Kagome sighed lightly as she walked around the bed, gesturing for Sango to unfold the sheets.  “Not physically, no.  He never even came near me.  But…  His temper…”  When Sango tossed a corner over to Kagome to start tucking under the mattress, she noticed the girl’s hands shaking a bit as she worked.

“What happened?”

Taking a deep breath, she said quietly, “He had finally finished all of the whiskey, and I thought I could finally get him to bed without a fuss.  But like I said, he never seemed to get enough.  Once he figured out there wasn’t any more liquor in the apartment, he tried to get to the door so he could get out.  I blocked his way, and he was so upset…”  She paused in her work for a moment, then quickly shook her head to try and shake off the bad memories creeping up on her.

“He called me a damn woman and a bitch, and told me to get away from the door.  I refused to move, and his voice got so loud, he was so tense and angry, and his eyes…”  A shudder coursed through her at the thought of his flashing eyes.  “I really was afraid he was going to attack me.  He broke the side table with his fist, and I was certain I was next.  But I never moved, and eventually he just…  seemed to collapse in on himself.”

Looking up and realizing that Sango had long since stopped working, too enthralled by her story, so she moved around to the other side of the bed and tucked in the corners of the sheet that Sango had left, smoothing the fabric with her hands before gathering the blankets in her arms.

“For a little bit, I was too scared to move, and I just stood in front of the door like a fool.  But I heard him make this odd noise, and when I went over to him…  I saw that he was crying.  So I put my arm around him, and he just fell into my lap and wept.”

Sango stared openly at her as she worked at getting the blankets on the bed.  “But… weren’t you frightened of him?  The man almost attacked you!”

With a sad chuckle, Kagome replied, “Sango, when a man like Inu-Yasha just breaks down in tears, you don’t ignore it.  He needed comfort, not a girl flinching away from him in fear.”  She looked up Sango, very somber.  “He’s sorry, you know.  For all that’s done to you and Miroku.  I know you may not believe me when I say that, but it’s true.”

Taking a deep breath, she finally turned and tossed the pillows on the bed, plumping them as much as possible.  “And that’s about it,” she said, her tone considerably lighter.  “We stayed like that until we both fell asleep, and then you two found us.  So there you have it.”  Looking critically at her handiwork, she added, “I wish he had better blankets than these.  They’re so thin and threadbare…”

Receiving no reply from Sango, she nervously cleared her throat and then went over to his dresser to pull out a pair of red sweatpants and the cleanest T-shirt she could find, which was a dirty grey and marred with stains that would never come out.  Clucking her tongue, she set the articles of clothing neatly on the bed, and by the time she finished Miroku arrived in the doorway with Inu-Yasha at his side, looking a little pale at the spectacle he had been forced to witness.

“Where do you want him?” he asked a little breathlessly, for the demon was quite heavy to hold up.

With a small smile, for the contrast between Inu-Yasha’s zoned out expression and Miroku’s slightly sick one was rather amusing, she stepped aside and gestured at the bed.  “Right here, please.  Do you think you could do me another favor?”

Setting Inu-Yasha down on the bed, who was only able to stay sitting up for a moment before he swayed and fell over, Miroku frowned down at Kagome, looking none-too-pleased.  “Look, I just had to watch the guy heave his guts out for far longer than any normal person should have to, and then he motioned that he had to go to the bathroom, so I got to watch that as well.  What more could you possibly want me to do?”

Laughing lightly at the man’s distress, she held up her hands in an attempt to reassure him.  “I was hoping you’d just change him into his pajamas for me, that’s all.  I just don’t quite feel comfortable doing it myself.”

With a grudging nod, he turned and pulled Inu-Yasha upright again, receiving a slight moan in protest as he started tugging off the demon’s stained dress shirt.  Kagome gestured at Sango, and together they left Miroku to his work as they went into the kitchen.

“Um…”  Trying to get her thoughts in order, for she was having a hard time comprehending Kagome’s actions from the night before, Sango asked slowly, “Do you want any help cleaning up from last night?”

Kagome shook her head, gingerly stepping around the splinters scattering the floor as she walked into the kitchen.  “No, thank you.  I’m going to leave the place as it is for now.  I want him to see what he’s done.  Maybe it will help him, maybe it won’t.  But it can’t hurt to try.”  Going over to a cupboard and pulling out a box of teabags, she asked, “Tea?”  Receiving a negative response, she shrugged and went about making a mug for herself.

Sango watched silently as Kagome bustled about, looking as though stepping over a thrown cigar tin or ignoring a folded up medal was the most normal of activities.  She simply did not understand how Kagome did it.  The first year Inu-Yasha had made a move towards hurting her and Miroku, she had been too frightened to go back to his apartment for several days.  It had taken a few more years before she finally had grown callous enough to actually go to his apartment without fear on the night after the gala, and even  then she still had apprehension.  And yet here was Kagome, calmly making a cup of tea after the man had pulverized a table with his fist mere hours ago.  She had allowed the demon to sleep on her lap, and even now she was making sure he was properly taken care of before he slept again. 

The year Inu-Yasha had managed to damage to Miroku, Sango had given him either terrible punishments or gave him the cold shoulder any time she saw him for months afterward, well after the wounds had healed.  So it was almost beyond her understanding that Kagome had chosen to be kind to the demon after he had treated her so horribly.  It was obvious he had had an effect on Kagome—the shakes and shudders she had gotten while telling Sango her side of the story gave that away—and yet Kagome did not hesitate to step in and take care of him.  It made Sango wonder, was it dedication to the job, or something deeper?

It wasn’t too long before Miroku emerged from the bedroom, a small grin on his face despite the ‘suffering’ he had to go through earlier.  Both women jumped when he spoke, for they had been silent for several minutes.

“Well, he is in his pajamas and under the covers,” he informed them, proudly crossing his arms.  “And he’s asking for you, Kagome.”

Kagome looked up from soaking her tea bag in a mug of water, rather surprised.  “He’s awake still?  I would’ve thought he’d drop off to sleep as soon as you finished.”

He shrugged.  “I thought so too, but he’s still up, and he’s asking for you.”

Still a little confused, Kagome abandoned her tea and went down the hallway into the bedroom, followed closely by Sango and Miroku.  Once inside, she smiled when she saw the demon lying on his stomach under the covers with his eyes closed, appearing to be asleep.  Glancing back at Miroku, who nodded encouragingly, she crouched down by the bed and said quietly, “Inu-Yasha?  Did you want me for something?”

At the sound of her voice, he stirred and slowly opened his eyes, blinking slowly at her until recognition finally flickered in his gaze.  “Kagome…” he murmured, stretching out a hand to rest on the pillow by his head.  “Stay.”

“What was that?”

With a slight frown, he patted the pillow and mumbled again, “Stay.”

“I-I… um, all right…”  Looking back at Sango and Miroku, who seemed to be just as surprised as her, she carefully climbed onto the bed, waiting patiently as Inu-Yasha moved aside at the speed of a snail so she had a place to sit.  Finally, once she was settled with her back against the headboard, Inu-Yasha nestled his head in the pillow right next to her with his face resting against the side of her leg.  She felt terribly awkward, for he never enjoyed being in such a close proximity of his own volition, but he let out a soft sigh and promptly went back to sleep, quite obviously at ease now that she was back.

Sango and Miroku did their best to stifle their laughter as Kagome’s face burned a bright red, her posture very stiff from discomfort.  “I guess we’ll leave so you two can have some privacy,” Miroku whispered, a broad smile on his face.  “Give us a call if you need us to pry him off you!”

Flushing all the way to the tips of her ears, she flapped her hand at them, urging them out the door to put an end to their comments.

Still chuckling, for the look on her face made up for all the torture he’d gone through getting Inu-Yasha to bed, Miroku led Sango out of the apartment, taking her hand in his as they walked down the stairs.  “I just don’t believe it,” he said.  “I think this is the first year ever that we have left Inu-Yasha’s apartment after the gala in a good mood.  Didn’t I tell you that Kagome was the perfect one for him?  Sure, he may still have been dead drunk the night before, but at least things turned out all right.”

Deciding not to mention the smashed side table or the fear that Kagome still had over the demon’s actions, Sango still had to agree with him.  She knew she was guilty of having little faith in the girl’s abilities, but Kagome’s actions had proved her wrong time and time again.  It was time she finally allowed herself to have a little bit of hope.

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Well, there you have it; sorry it’s so short, but it was a good stopping point.  Thanks for reading, and please leave a review!

Thank you to you who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 23: The Right Reason

“Unhh…” 

From the very second Inu-Yasha regained consciousness, he had no doubt that his was the worst, head-pounding, stomach-churning hangover he’d experienced in years.  Hardly able to move, for his head raged at him and his stomach was a roiling mess, he let out a soft groan and nuzzled his face deeper into the pillows, keeping his eyes shut tight.  He slowly took a deep breath to try and calm the battle behind his temples, and when he did, a soothing scent washed over him, taking his mind off his misery.

For a moment, he lay still, enjoying the strange relief the scent offered, but soon his curiosity got the better of him.  The origin of the scent was incredibly familiar, but his bleary brain lacked the energy to put much thought into the matter, so he decided to just see for himself.   Cracking open one bloodshot eye, he braced himself for the harsh barrage of light on his senses, but, much to his surprise, it never came.

“Wha…  Whyzit dark…?” he murmured, turning his head just enough to peer around the room.  Everything was shrouded in shadow, the only light being the few, weak beams from the street lamp outside that streamed in through the window.  “…Still night…?”  Although quite confused, for he rarely awoke in the middle of the night, it was a nice relief on his senses, and he was able to see clearly with only the dim light.  Blinking hazily, he gazed around in search of the scent that was so comforting, then stopped dead at the sight of its source.

Kagome was in a deep sleep next to him on the bed, her head resting against the headboard.  A book lay open on her lap, clearly indicating that she had drifted off while sitting by him.  Having her so close was enough to make his cheeks burn red, but what was the most embarrassing was the realization that he had been sleeping with his face pressed up against her side, mistaking her for a pillow.

“Uh…uh…  I-I didn’t mean nothin’…  I-I was just… uh…”  Uncertain of what to do, he stuttered stupidly for a moment, failing to notice that Kagome did not hear a word of his rambling.  However, he abruptly stopped speaking when she let out a soft whimper, her lips curving into a slight frown.  “Huh?”  Peering closer, he realized that she was shivering from the chill in the room, for she was lying on top of the blankets rather than under them.

Carefully, so as not to wake her, he tugged the blankets out from under her and gently pulled them up over her shoulders, gladly retreating under their warmth himself as he did so.  “Shouldn’t sleep without blankets…” he muttered under his breath as he worked.  “You’ll catch cold…”  Quickly shutting his mouth when she stirred, he kept deadly still as she slowly rolled onto her side, afraid that he had awoken her and that she would notice their close proximity.  He was certain she would be furious if she realized he had practically been cuddling her the entire time, but his fears were ungrounded.  She merely uttered a soft sigh and sunk deeper under the covers, in a deep sleep once again.

Letting out a groan, for his headache was pounding with a vengeance at him for moving around so much, he slowly sank down into the pillows, this time making certain to keep a healthy distance between him and Kagome.  If he could, he would have opted to go sleep and the couch and give up his bed to her, but he sincerely doubted he would be able to make it more than a few steps before his hangover would have him quivering on the floor.

But still…  Glancing over at the sleeping woman next to him, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh as he rolled onto his side with his back to her, so that way he could avoid any more snuggling sessions that might occur in his sleep. 

I guess… this isn’t so bad…

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With a wide yawn, Kagome slowly roused herself, stretching as far as she could to ease the kinks out of her muscles.  “Ah…  What a good night’s sleep.  Hm?”  Blinking, she slowly sat up and saw that she was in Inu-Yasha’s bed, covered up with his blankets.  “Oh.  I guess I fell asleep here yesterday…  But when did I get under the covers…?”

A light blush staining her cheeks when she realized that she had just spent the entire night sleeping with Inu-Yasha in the same bed, she quickly looked to the side and saw Inu-Yasha lying as far away from her as possible, scrunched up into a tight ball.  Oh dear…  He must be so embarrassed… 

Deciding to be nonchalant and pretend nothing happened, she reached over and shook his arm.  “Inu-Yasha?  Are you awake?  You’ve been asleep since yesterday morning, you know.”

“Urgh…”  The lump let out a dreadful moan at the sound of her voice and huddled further under the covers.  “Too loud…”

Relieved, at least, to see that he wasn’t about to yell at her, she withdrew her hand and flung the covers off, trying not to shiver in the chilly air of the room.  Padding around to the other side of the bed, she crouched down next to Inu-Yasha, smiling at the sight of his fuzzy ears poking out from beneath the blankets.  “Inu-Yasha…”  Once again, she gently shook his arm, trying to gain his attention.

After a couple of growls, Inu-Yasha finally pulled the blankets down enough to peer at her with one bloodshot eye, clearly displeased to be disturbed.

Kagome smiled in return, resting her chin in her hands.  “Good morning.  I take it you aren’t feeling too well?”

“Hmph.”  Pausing only long enough to give her a red-tinged glare, he tugged the covers up once again.  He hadn’t fully gone back to sleep since he had awoken in the middle of the night; his hangover had been bad enough that he was only able to doze off and on, and the fact that there was a woman sleeping a few inches away from him destroyed any possibility of real rest.

With a light chuckle, Kagome patted his arm as she stood up.  “I’m going to go fix breakfast.  I highly suggest you take a shower while I do that; you’ll feel much better if you get up and move around a bit.  As I said, you’ve been asleep since yesterday morning.”

He slowly  poked his face out from the blankets.  “…Yesterday mornin’…?” he mumbled.  “I been sleepin’ that long?”

Kagome sighed softly, so low that Inu-Yasha didn’t catch it.  “You had a busy night after the gala, and you needed some time to recover.  I thought it best to just let you sleep.  Now,  come on, get up!  It’s already ten o’ clock!”  She gave one of his ears a playful tweak, then laughed lightly at his irritated growl in response as she left the bedroom.

Frowning at the doorway once she left, he carefully pushed himself upright, shutting his eyes as a wave of dizziness swept over him.  All of his joints popped and groaned at the movement, and his muscles complained violently as well.  After sitting still for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass, he let out a low groan, rubbing his face to attempt to force his brain into action.

Looking over to his left, he slowly reached out a hand and laid it on the mattress, feeling the residual warmth of Kagome’s body on the sheets.  He couldn’t help but wonder why Kagome ended up next to him in bed.  He hadn’t forced her into it, had he?  Did she climb in on her own?  He doubted that possibility, but another logical explanation failed to present itself.

“Oh…”  Heaving a sigh, he shook his head and pushed himself out of bed, groaning as his muscles set up a fierce protest.  While such thoughts did require his attention, he wouldn’t be able to focus until his hangover receded a bit; and, since Kagome had yet to steer him wrong, he decided to follow her advice and go take a shower.  Hopefully after that he would be able to figure out just how much he had missed in his day-long slumber.

Once he gathered a fresh set of clothes, he paused once in the doorway and looked back at the bed, where there were two impressions of bodies in the sheets.  He frowned slightly, realizing that it must have been Kagome who had made certain he was in bed in the first place.  Most mornings after the gala he woke up under the kitchen table or in the middle of the living room floor, which was never pleasant, especially with the violent hangovers that accompanied consciousness.

Another sigh escaped him as a wave of gratitude washed over him.  I hope I didn’t do anything to hurt her this time around…

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Kagome hummed a nameless tune as she scraped some scrambled eggs onto two plates, waiting for Inu-Yasha to finish his shower.  She wasn’t certain if he would want anything to eat, but thought it best to be prepared in case he did.  Toast popped out of the toaster soon after the eggs were done, and the coffeepot stopped gurgling as she started to butter the bread.  She nodded in approval; she had always taken pride in the fact that her sense of timing was impeccable when it came to cooking.

“Hm?”  She heard the sound of a door opening, a clear sign that Inu-Yasha was finished with his shower.  She quickly pulled a mug out of a cabinet and poured a fresh cup of coffee for him, wanting to have it ready when he came into the kitchen.  She knew that even though he had probably slept off the worst effects of his hangover the day before, he was certain to still be ill for the rest of the day, and she hoped that some strong coffee might ward off some of the aches and pains that were to come.

As she set the mug down on the table next to the plate of breakfast, she glanced over at the empty whiskey bottle and tumbler still setting at the other end of the table along with his abandoned cigarettes and ashtray.  She shook her head, laughing silently at herself.  As much as she hated to admit, she had hoped that by fixing a nice breakfast for him, he might not be quite so violent upon seeing his handiwork from the night of the gala.  It was a foolish hope she knew, for he was not the type to notice such little efforts, but she was very anxious on how he would react.

A loud yawn broke into her thoughts, and she realized that Inu-Yasha was coming down the hallway.  Automatically she tensed, for the sight of his splintered side table was waiting to greet him.  Taking a deep breath, she turned around and slowly walked to the doorway of the kitchen, preparing herself for his reaction.

When she peered out, she saw him standing right by the pieces of wood, blinking at them in confusion.  He crouched down and picked up a larger piece, studying it closely.   Running his fingers over the surface, he sniffed the wood, then dropped it suddenly, his eyes going wide.  Quickly, he whipped his head around to look at Kagome, who took a step back in surprise.  She watched in confusion as his eyes ran over her, obviously searching for something, but after a moment he dropped his gaze to the floor and let out a soft sigh.

He set the wood back on the floor and climbed to his feet, brushing past Kagome as he went determinedly into the kitchen and glanced around, frowning deeply as his eyes came to rest on the empty bottle.  Slowly, he prowled about the kitchen, discovering the cigar tin and the second empty bottle on the floor and removing the folded medal from the sink.  Depositing the items next to the ashtray on the table, he collapsed into a chair and stared at the collection, looking quite disgusted.

Kagome watched his search with a fearful fascination, wondering the purpose of his actions.  Was he going to explode in anger?  Was he going to sit and fume silently?

“I…Inu-Yasha?” she asked softly, slowly going up to stand by him.

“What happened?” he growled suddenly, his hands clenching into fists next to the whiskey bottles.

“I…  What?”

“What happened?!” he snapped again, pounding the table and making the tumbler jump.  “I can smell fear on you.  If I was drunk enough to smash a table, then I was probably drunk enough to hurt you.  Dammit, Kagome, what did I do this time?”

“Inu-Yasha…”  Realizing that his anger was not at her, but at himself, she approached him and knelt next to his chair, looking up into his face.  “Inu-Yasha.  You did not hurt me.  You have to believe me.”

He peered down at her, still looking upset.  “But I must’ve done something…” he insisted, nudging the medal with his finger.  “You left these out to show me how bad I was, right?”

Feeling a bit guilty for making him so upset, she slowly shook her head.  “Not quite.  I just wanted you to know the results of your actions.  When you drink like that, your emotions become so intense that it’s hard to handle, and often things end up like your side table.  I don’t want—“

“Kagome.”

She abruptly stopped talking at the seriousness of his tone.

He turned his red-eyed gaze on her, looking very severe and stern.  “Kagome, are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”

For a moment, she struggled to come up with an answer.  She did not want to heap even more guilt on a man who had drunk two bottles of whiskey dry as a result of guilt, but he seemed so sincere in his desire to know the truth that she could hardly keep it from him. 

With a heavy sigh, she regaled to him the events of the night after the gala.  For the sake of his pride, she neglected to mention his weeping session, although she did include how he opted to use her lap as a pillow, and his request to keep her close by the next morning, if only to explain how they woke up next to each other that morning.  Throughout the tale his face burned with guilt and embarrassment, and his fists clenched and unclenched as he held himself back.

Once she finished, he remained silent, staring blankly at the empty glass in front of him.  He was quiet for so long that finally Kagome stood and walked over to the other end of the table, giving up on any hope for a response.  “I wasn’t sure if your stomach would be up to it, but you haven’t eaten in over a day, so I fixed some breakfast.  Help yourself, if you like.”  She nudged the plate toward him.  “Here’s some coffee as well.  I knew that even if you couldn’t handle food, you could always use a cup of coffee, right?”

Slowly, he pulled his gaze away from the tumbler and onto the plate of food, anger seeping into his expression.  “Why do you do it?” he growled, glaring at her.

She took a step back in surprise.  “What do you mean?”

“Why do you always do this?” he snapped, waving his hand at the food.  “Even after all the hell I put you through, you still do all this stuff for me!  You make coffee, you make sure I’m in bed with a pillow and blanket, you always help me get over my hangovers, you never get mad at me—dammit, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

“I-I…”  Kagome could hardly think of a response to his sudden outburst.

“I just don’t get it!  There’s gotta be a reason for it!  No one else has stuck around as long as you!  Hell, no one else has been as nice as  you!  What is your problem?!”

“I-Inu-Yasha, I don’t know what…”

“Why?” he interrupted, staring fiercely at her.  “Why do you do it?  Is it for the money?  I bet Sango and Miroku are paying you big bucks to waste your life here with me—“

“How dare you!!”

Inu-Yasha suddenly shut his mouth when Kagome let out the shriek, blinking in shock at the strength of her response.

She stared down at him, wide-eyed and trembling with fury.  “How dare you!” she said again, any trace of her usual gentleness chased away with anger.  “Do you really think I’m in this for the money?!  Is that what you think of me?!  You think I suffer your foul moods, clean up empty whiskey bottles, and haul your drunken ass home from the Tap because of money?!”  She strode forward until she was right in his face, jabbing a finger into his chest to emphasize her point.

“Did it ever occur to you that I actually care about you?!  That I breathe in nasty cigarette smoke, nurse you through your hangovers, and try and be available for you as much as I possibly can because I want to help you?!  You are so selfish, saying such things about me!  I have half a mind to go tell Sango and Miroku to stop paying me altogether, if that’s what it will take to get you to believe my intentions—“

Inu-Yasha, who seemed to be getting angrier the more Kagome yelled at him, finally snapped.  Smashing his fist down on the table, he shouted, “Dammit, Kagome, I wanna stop drinking!!”

“I will go over to the headquarters right now and—wait, what?”  Kagome interrupted herself when she realized what Inu-Yasha had just said.

Scowling furiously at her, he snarled, “I said, I wanna stop drinking!”

All of her anger suddenly seemed to dissipate upon hearing his words.  Staring stupidly at him, she could hardly form a coherent thought.  She had certainly been waiting a very long time to hear such words, but had never expected to hear them in such a situation.  “I…  I…  Well, why?”

With his scowl still firmly in place, although now he appeared to be more gruff than angry, he finally looked away and glared at the floor.  “…I’m sick of it…” he growled, his cheeks starting to burn red.  “I hate waking up all the time and wondering if I’ve hurt you the night before.  I’m tired of sayin’ such mean things that hurt your feelings.  You shouldn’t have to keep that sort of stuff from me.  Hell, you shouldn’t have to deal with it at all.”

Dragging his gaze up to look her in the eye, he continued, “You shouldn’t have to be afraid of me all the time.  I want to protect you, Kagome.  And if I’m gonna protect you from myself, then I gotta stop drinking.”  Nervously watching her reaction, he finished, “Will you help me?”

Kagome, who had long ago been struck speechless, remained silent, staring at him.  Slowly, tears started to well up in her eyes, and her bottom lip began to quiver.  Inu-Yasha flinched at the sight, his own bluster giving way to guilt for making her cry.  “K-Kagome, I…”

Suddenly, she reached out and flung her arms around his neck, burying her face in his shoulder as tears began to fall.  “Inu-Yasha…” she said, her voice muffled by his t-shirt.  “You’re so mean.  The one time I get mad at you, and you just snatch it away…  I can’t stay mad at all when you say such things!”

Letting out a sigh of relief that she wasn’t angry at all, he carefully pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.  “I’m sorry I said that about the money,” he mumbled.  “I just find it hard to believe that someone…  someone actually cares enough about me to do what you do.”

Kagome sniffed, slowly pulling away so she could look him in the eye.  “I meant what I said.  I’m going to continue doing everything that I have been, because I want to see you get better.  It’s as simple as that.”

He swallowed hard.  “Does… does that mean that you’ll help me to stop drinking?”

A sad smile appeared on her face.  “Oh, Inu-Yasha…  That was sweet, what you said…  But I can’t help you to stop drinking.  Not yet.”

His jaw dropped open in surprise.  “What?  Why?  Don’t you want me to quit?  I-I can’t do it by myself!”

“Inu-Yasha, of course I want you to quit!  I’ve been waiting for that day since we first met in the hospital!  But you need to quit for the right reason, and giving up alcohol just to protect me is not the right reason, flattering though it may be.”

He frowned in confusion.  “Then what’s the right reason?”

“I can’t tell you.  You’ll have to figure that out for yourself.”

Carefully, she climbed off his lap and stood up, smiling down at his frustrated expression.  “Inu-Yasha.”  She lifted his chin up so that he could look her in the eye.  “I know it doesn’t make sense right now, but you have to trust me.  Eventually, things will get better.  All right?”

Still looking a little confused and forlorn by her rejection, he nodded  silently.

“Hey.”

He glanced up once again to look at her.

“Is it true that you want to protect me?  You really do like me?”

Flushing a tomato red, Inu-Yasha softly replied, “Yes.”

Her smile broadening, she bent down and kissed him on the forehead.  When he looked at her in surprise, she said with utter sincerity, “Thank you.”

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“Come along, Kanna,” Muso said impatiently, shivering in the chill and glancing nervously around at his gloomy surroundings.  “Let’s finish our visit and get out of here.  How anyone can live so far below ground is beyond me.  It’s so dank and depressing…”

“If you don’t like it, perhaps you could help further the plans rather than complain,” came a sharp feminine voice from the shadows ahead, and soon a beautiful, dark-haired woman stepped out from the deeper recesses of the tunnel.

Raising an eyebrow at the comment, Muso replied, “My dear Kagura, I would if but any of us knew what exactly the plan is.  So unless Lord Naraku has made you privy to more information than myself, I suggest you stop giving out such poor advice.”

“Hmph.”  Her red eyes flashing in annoyance, the wind witch Kagura whirled around, snapping her fan shut as she moved.  “Come along.  Lord Naraku has been waiting.”

The final stretch of the journey was made in silence, until at last it ended in the innermost bowels of the largest cavern, where all three travelers were bathed in an eerie purple glow from the pulsating shield erected in the room.  Muso immediately stepped forward while Kagura hung back against the wall.

“Lord Naraku, Kanna and I have returned.”

“Were you successful?” came a deep voice from behind the shield, the odd tone enough to send shivers down Muso’s spine.  He was hardly one to be intimidated, but his creator held that power over him.

“We did succeed in capturing several shots of the fool Inu-Yasha that may be of some use to you.  His antics at the gala did not go unnoticed.  Kanna?”

Silently, the ghostly white girl stepped forward and removed the ever-present camera from around her neck, easily passing it through the barrier.  For a few moments there was silence as Naraku explored the camera’s contents, making his children rather anxious in the interim.

At last, they heard the deep voice ask, “Who is this girl?”

“Her name is Kagome Higurashi, my lord,” Muso replied promptly.

“And what is her relation to Inu-Yasha?”

“We are uncertain.  Although he does not seem to care for her presence, one is hardly seen without the other, so we find it to be rather confusing.”

“Hm.  What else have you learned about Inu-Yasha?”

A bit surprised by the questions, it took Muso a moment to answer.  “Um…  He has no known profession, although we are certain he still works for the Order.  He does not appear to have too many peers other than those two pathetic humans.”

There were another few moments where nothing was said, until at last the camera was tossed out of the barrier and into Kanna’s hands.  “I will not be prepared to emerge for some time yet.  Go out and gather more information.  Anything that can be used against that foolish pup is of use to us.”

Muso bowed.  “Of course, my lord.  Kanna?”  He quickly strode out of the cavern, eager to be back on the surface once more.

“Kagura?”

The wind witch slowly stepped forward at her master’s request, clearly displeased at being addressed.  “Yes, Lord Naraku?”

“I believe it is almost time that we make our little dog friend aware of my presence.  How would you like to make a trip aboveground?”

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Ha!  I do love a good cliffy.  Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and please, leave a review!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 24:  Over Thinking

He had been completely honest, of that he was certain.  It was rather surprising how hard it had been to come to such conclusions, but he now knew that he did indeed like Kagome, and that in order to keep her safe, he had to stop drinking.  But that was the extent of his certainties.  Her rejection still puzzled him to no end, and, more than that was her lack of confidence in him.  He had decided to try and quit drinking on his own, since she was apparently going to offer him no help until he came up with the ‘right reason’, but when he informed her of this, she simply smiled sadly at him and remained silent; it was her gentle way of saying that she knew that things would end in failure for him.

“Rrgh…”  He let out a low growl in frustration, clenching a cigarette between his lips and sinking deeper into the couch cushions.  Why wouldn’t she help him?  He just didn’t understand.  If he quit drinking, everything would better; she would be safe from his drunken rages, she wouldn’t have to deal with his whiskey-sharpened tongue, and she wouldn’t have to nurse him through his hangovers, which often turned out to be quite the messy job.  But no, she wouldn’t help.  And he simply could not wrap his head around it.

Well, perhaps the fact that it was pounding with a vengeance from a lack of liquor was part of the reason.  He had so far gone two days without a drop of alcohol, not including his ‘day of rest’ as Kagome called it, and was having a dreadful time of it.  In fact, he was fairly certain the only reason he had made it so far without drinking was because there was no whiskey left in the apartment; he would have cracked much sooner had the precious commodity had been readily available.

Moaning softly, he shut his eyes and laid his head back; the thought of that amber liquid was enough to send a shudder coursing through him, and he swallowed hard as he tried to fight back the craving.  He longed for the strong taste on his tongue and the delightful burn in his chest and throat with every swallow, but most of all he yearned for the soothing effect on his tired, shaky muscles, the drowsiness it caused that allowed him to slip into a dreamless slumber.  After that damned video at the gala, any sleep he tried to take that wasn’t laced with whiskey was fraught with horrible images of memories he tried to forget long ago, making sleep next to impossible.

“Damn it…” he grunted under his breath, sitting up and resting his head in his shaky hand.  Thinking about the drink was making things worse, but he couldn’t get the stuff off his mind.  It seemed that the moment he decided he couldn’t have it any more, his body’s need for it tripled, and continued to worsen exponentially.   “What the hell’s wrong with me?”

Making him start in surprise, Kagome emerged from the bedroom with her coat on and her purse slung over one shoulder, humming a light tune.  Inu-Yasha was slouched over on the couch so she didn’t notice him at first, but when she walked into the foyer where her sneakers sat, she felt his piercing stare in the small of her back and quickly turned around. 

“Oh, there you are!  I was wondering where you had gone off to.  I thought I—“   She abruptly stopped speaking when she took a closer look at the demon; his distress was fairly easy to place.  “Inu-Yasha, what’s wrong?”

He blinked suddenly, his intense gaze breaking when he realized she was talking to him.  “Huh?  Oh, nothin’…”  He didn’t want her to know how close he was to caving in; it was rather embarrassing, it being only two days after he had awoken from the gala.

Kagome frowned at his response.  “You’re awfully pale…”

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, shifting under her stare.  She said nothing in reply, but continued to give him a look that clearly stated her disbelief.  He turned his head away, trying to avoid her gaze, but she finally walked over to the couch and sat down next to him.  Quickly, he pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and held it away from her, for a comment during her minor blowup the day before had finally made him privy to her feelings about the smoke, and he did not want to make things unpleasant for her.  He did that well enough on his own.

Smiling slightly at the gesture, for it did not escape her notice, she said somberly to him, “Inu-Yasha, I know what you’re trying to do right now.  And, if it’s for the reason I think it is, then I am very touched by your efforts.”

He flushed at her comment and sunk further into the cushions, not meeting her eye.

“But Inu-Yasha, it’s not going to be that easy.  Right now, all you’re doing is hurting yourself.”

“No I’m not,” he growled, his hands clenching into fists.  “I’m doing what needs to be done!  Besides, I don’t care if I hurt myself, I just don’t want to hurt you anymore!” He abruptly clamped his mouth shut after the last comment slipped out, his flush darkening.  Tucking his chin into his chest, he glared silently at the coffee table.

“Inu-Yasha…”  For a moment, Kagome was unsure of what to say.  She had never felt such a strange combination of horror and flattery from a comment before; she hated hearing him say how little he cared about himself, but for him to say such a thing about her…  A soft sigh escaped her as she looked down at her knees.  How long would it take him to understand?  It was so hard for her to watch him torture himself the way he was now, but she knew, if things were to turn out right in the end, she had to wait for him to come to an understanding on his own.

For a few moments they sat in silence, until Inu-Yasha suddenly spoke up, breaking Kagome out of her thoughts.  It was only a whispered curse, but it was enough to make her take his hand in concern. 

“D-dammit…” he muttered under his breath, hunching over, gripping Kagome’s hand incredibly hard as he tried to fight off another craving that had come over him.  Kagome quickly put an arm around his shoulders, hoping to comfort him, and he leaned into her, taking deep breaths.  He hoped that the same scent that had soothed his hangover symptoms would be enough to quell the debilitating weakness of desire clawing its way through his body, but it seemed his need for whiskey proved to be stronger force.

It took a couple minutes for the desperate desire to fade, but at last he was able to sit up straight and release his iron grip on her hand.  Shakily, he took a long drag from his cigarette to calm his nerves, and despite his anxiety, he still remembered to blow the smoke away from Kagome. 

“…Why is it so bad this time around?” he finally mumbled, not noticing that she was flexing her fingers, which had gone numb in his grasp.  “The last time I stopped drinking, I was able to go for four days, and I still didn’t feel this awful.  But now…”

With a light sigh, Kagome gave his shoulders a gentle squeeze.  “I don’t know, Inu-Yasha.  I really don’t.  But… I do need to tell you something.” 

Her tone was so grave that he lifted his head to look her in the eye, a little concerned.  “What?”

She met his gaze, her own worry clearly showing through.  “I’m afraid you’re really going to make yourself sick if you continue with this.  Quitting cold turkey rarely works, and with one so deep in an addiction like you, cutting out alcohol would result in death before it would result in sobriety.  And I really, really don’t want that to happen.   So just…”  She looked away, trying to cover up her concern.  “Just don’t take this too far, Inu-Yasha.”  Abruptly, she stood and walked over to the foyer again and shoved her feet into her sneakers.  She heard Inu-Yasha climb off the couch after a moment, but she pretended not to notice, pulling her coat off the hook and shrugging into it.  She knew he had never been one for pity, and it was becoming almost impossible to cover up her feelings after seeing him so pathetic.

“Hey,” he said from right behind her, a slight growl leaking into his tone.  “Do I understand you right?  You actually want me to keep drinking?”

Slowly, she turned around to face him.  He was staring at her, his expression a blend of anger and confusion.  Still confused over her rejection of help two days prior, she could hardly blame him for getting frustrated now that she threw this new request at him as well.

“I just… don’t like seeing you making yourself sick,” she finally said, focusing more on buttoning her coat than on him.  “Which is what you have been doing for the past eight years, and what you are doing now.”  Quickly, she grabbed her purse and scarf off the coat rack and flung them on, obviously eager to get out of the apartment.  “I have some errands to run, and will be gone for a couple hours.  Will you be all right on your own?”  It was a foolish question, she knew, but she wanted something to get them away from the current topic of conversation.  It was only serving to confuse Inu-Yasha even more, and he didn’t need any more to think about.

Slowly, he nodded, still looking rather upset as he tried to puzzle through her somewhat less-than-direct answer to his question.

“Good.  All right, I will see you later.”  Feeling very awkward, for she felt horrible at confusing the poor demon, she gently squeezed his hand in goodbye, then slipped out the door and quietly shut it behind her.

Once she was gone, Inu-Yasha stomped back over to the couch and flopped down on it.  He was now beginning to get angry with the whole situation.  There were far too many questions and not enough answers, and he was growing more than confused.  What on earth did her last comment mean?  It was as though she was telling him that he was never going to make her happy.  If he drank, he was sick.  If he didn’t drink, he got sick.  And she didn’t like watching him make himself sick, so what was he supposed to do?

“Damn it all…” he growled,  mashing his cigarette into an ashtray on the coffee table.  “I just don’t get it…”  He had finally had enough.  Tired of the headache pounding and his shaky limbs making him feel terribly weak, he decided it was time for a drink.  “Since Kagome doesn’t seem to care one way or another…” he muttered under his breath, standing up and cramming his feet into his tattered sneakers by the door.  Immediately, he shook his head at the comment, guilt creeping up on him for saying such a thing.  Kagome’s actions had long ago proven otherwise.

With a heavy sigh, he pulled open the door and stepped out onto the landing, tugging the door shut.  “Maybe Iro will have some advice…”

oOoOoOoOo

“What’s wrong with you, boy?” Iro asked as he stepped up to refill Inu-Yasha’s drink once again.  He had been watching the demon ever since Inu-Yasha had arrived at the Tap a couple hours ago, looking rather ill and quite irritated.  He had said nothing and swallowed every whiskey Iro set down in front of him like it was an oasis in the desert, then set the glass back down and scowled in frustration, hanging his head.  Iro couldn’t quite figure out the meaning behind those actions, but it was clear something was obviously bothering him.  He only needed to wait until a few drinks loosened Inu-Yasha’s tongue enough to ask.

Gulping down the newest glass just as greedily as the first, Inu-Yasha pulled the empty cup away from his lips, panting as the liquid burned down.  After two days without any liquor, the drink seemed to pack a wallop, and he had to blink rapidly to bring the bartender into focus.  “Whaddaya mean?” he asked hazily, speaking for the first time since he had entered the bar.  Once the whiskey first touched his lips, any thoughts on asking Iro’s advice had been forced aside for more important matters.

“Hmph.”  Iro set down the whiskey bottle just out of the demon’s reach to make sure he could get a straight answer without any distractions.  “You haven’t been here in days.  And when you finally do show up, you’re sufferin’ for whiskey but you seem to be mad about it.  Something must’ve happened.”

The comment jogged Inu-Yasha’s memory and he let out a deep sigh, staring forlornly into his empty glass.  “I got a problem…” he began, running his finger around the rim.

“Don’t we all,” Iro replied, pulling a rag out to wipe the bar off while Inu-Yasha talked.

Inu-Yasha nodded in agreement.  “Yeah, but…  I need some advice with this problem.  It’s just’ too damn confusin’…”  Frowning, he tried to figure out where to begin to bring Iro up to date with the situation.  “Well…  You know ‘bout th’ Peace Day Gala?”

“Yeah.  I watched a bit on TV while I was here.”

“All right.   Well, I didn’ like that video they played, so I went home an’ got real drunk.”  It was paraphrasing, but his bleary mind didn’t notice.  “So drunk that I almost hurt someone.  An’ when I woke up, I saw that I had thrown some stuff, even smashed a table…  I was so afraid I had hurt her.”  As those memories came back, he growled in anger at himself and tapped his shot glass on the bar, glaring at Iro until he conceded and filled it once again with whiskey.

Once the liquor chased away the bad memories, he sighed and continued with his story.  “So I told her that I wanted t’ quit drinkin’, that way I could protect her proper.  She wouldn’ have t’ be scared o’ me anymore.  An’ I asked her t’ help me, ‘cause I can’t do it by myself, and she said she wouldn’.  My own nurse, Iro!”  He let out a growl and pounded his fist on the bar.  “How th’ hell am I gonna get better if my own nurse won’ help me?!”

Iro shrugged.  “I don’t know, boy.”

“Hmph.  I don’ get it either.  ‘Swhy I tried t’ quit drinkin’ on my own.  I got through two days by myself, but t’day I was havin’ a rough time with it.”

Glancing at Inu-Yasha’s flushed face and firm grip on the shop glass, Iro raised an eyebrow and replied, “Clearly.”

Pausing to glare at him, Inu-Yasha went on.  “That’s when she told me that she didn’ like seein’ me makin’ myself sick.  She told me that I had been makin’ myself sick for th’ past eight years, and I was even makin’ myself sick t’day.  But that means that I’m sick when I drink an’ sick when I don’ drink!  Dammit, Iro, what’m I s’posed t’ do?!”

Thoughtfully scrubbing at a stain on the counter, Iro finally said, “Sounds to me like this fondness you have for this girl is unrequited.”

Inu-Yasha stared blankly at him.  “Unre—what?”

Frowning, Iro said slowly, “She doesn’t like you, boy.”

It was rather astonishing, the effect those words had on him.  His mouth hung open, his hand gripped the shot glass with a furious strength, his eyes went wide, and even his ears drooped.  “She… doesn’ like me?  But…  but she takes care o’ me…  She said she was worried ‘bout me…”

“Get ahold of yourself,” Iro snapped, prying the glass from Inu-Yasha’s hand before he broke it.  “She’s your nurse, not your lover.  She’s just doing her job, taking care of you.  Yeah, she does want you to get better, that way she can finish her job and be on her merry way.  What else did you think she was doing?”

“But…”  He floundered for a moment, trying to think of some argument.  “She said… she was happy that I…uh…”

Scoffing, Iro set the shot glass back down and poured some more whiskey in it since Inu-Yasha seemed to be in need of it.  “That’s reality for you, boy,” he said boredly as Inu-Yasha gulped down the drink.  “Now, is this nurse the same girl that threw you to the dogs at that political rally a few weeks ago?  Because I thought I told you what to do about her.  You didn’t listen, did you?”

Inu-Yasha frowned and scratched his head, trying to think back that far.  “I don’… remember that night…” he finally said.

“Hmph.  Well, I guess I’m not surprised; I made good money off you.  Anyway, I told you to stay away from that girl.  She’s nothing but trouble for you.  She’s messing up your life, and you had things going just fine before she ever came along.”  He tipped the bottle into Inu-Yasha’s glass once more.

Inu-Yasha’s brow furrowed  as he pondered Iro’s statement.  Sure, things had been steady since before Kagome came along.  He did the same thing every day, and always felt just as miserable when he went to bed as when he got up, and that routine continued on for years. 

But when Kagome arrived, she shook things up.  He now didn’t mind dragging himself out of bed so he could meet her at the kitchen table for their morning coffee and tea.  He had often found himself eagerly awaiting her return when she stepped out to run errands, waiting impatiently on his couch so he could keep an eye on the front door.  Hell, he had even admitted that liked her.  With this woman, he had gone through moments of deep depression, and moments of joy that he hadn’t felt in years.  She actually made him feel; he had grown so calloused and jaded since the battle with Naraku that such a thing he had previously thought was impossible had now become a reality.  Sure, he had to agree that Kagome was messing up his life, but when his life was so horrible to begin with, how could messing it up be a bad thing?

Snapping his gaze up to Iro’s, he slapped his hand down on the bar next to his glass.  “You’re wrong,” he growled.  “Kagome’s done nothin’ but help me, an’ I don’ need you tellin’ me lies about it.  I like this girl for a reason, Iro.  Dammit, I even tried t’ quit drinkin’ for her!  So don’ you go tellin’ me that she ain’t a good thing, ‘cause she’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened t’ me!”

Iro shrugged, unfazed by Inu-Yasha’s temper.   “That’s as may be.  But I’m gonna tell you the same thing I said to you the time before—look at what happened the last time you got involved with a woman.”

“Oh, whadda you know…” Inu-Yasha growled, snagging his shot glass and taking a gulp.

“What do I know?” Iro repeated in disbelief.  “I’ll tell you what I know, boy.  I know that this other woman had you tied around her finger, and when she was gone, it took all you had to wait until I opened these doors at five o’ clock so you could come inside and drown all your troubles in whiskey.  I know that she had such a hold on you that it left you cryin’ all over my counter to try and get over her.  I know that you had to try so hard to forget her that I had to haul your unconscious ass back to my break room so you wouldn’t scare off my customers.  I tell you what, I’ve been a bartender for a long, long time, and I have never seen a worse case of heartbreak than you, boy.  I think I know enough.”

Inu-Yasha’s scowl had long since slipped off his face as Iro spoke; he knew every word of what Iro said was true.  “But Kagome…” he tried to say, but Iro cut him off with a shake of his head.

“No, this is about that Kikyo.  She messed you up bad, and if you don’t want to get hurt again, then I’d keep away from this nurse of yours.”

Inu-Yasha’s head was swimming as all of Iro’s points wormed their way into his thought process.  Still confused over whether or not he should stop drinking and why Kagome wouldn’t help him, he now was questioning whether Kagome should stay with him or not.  He certainly liked having her around, but he had like having Kikyo around, and that had ended up dreadfully.  If things were to go the same way with Kagome… 

“That does it…” he said slowly, pushing away his shot glass with a wild look in his eye.  “I gotta talk t’ Miroku.  He’ll know what t’ do.”

“Wait, what?”  Iro had been expected a declaration to get Kagome out of his apartment, but Inu-Yasha clearly wasn’t thinking along the same lines.

Ignoring the bartender, Inu-Yasha stood, then paused and swayed as the drinks he’d consumed smacked him in the head like a hammer.  “Ooh…”  With a shake of his head, he blinked and mumbled, “Miroku…” once again, then staggered doggedly to the doorway.  It was time to finally get some answers.

oOoOoOo

“Damn it…” came the muttered curse through ruby lips as Kagura flew low over the rooftops of the city, perched on an enormous feather as she scanned the ground below with sharp eyes.  “If that pompous ass Muso knows as much about Inu-Yasha as he says he does, why doesn’t he know where the pup lives?!” 

Following the orders given to her by Naraku, she had set out two days ago to find the half-breed Inu-Yasha, but with no information as to where he lived, she was forced to search from above for any sign of him, hoping to find some trace of his demonic aura that would help her pinpoint his location.  But with him being a half-demon, she had to be very close to him to feel it.  It was slow, fruitless work, and she had suffered quite a bit during it.  Not even two hours ago there had been a torrential downpour that chilled her to the bone and left her dripping wet; she was forced to create a gust of wind to dry out her sopping clothes, and the whole situation left her quite irritated.

Sighing, she sat back and closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of the wind on her face.  Perhaps I shouldn’t complain, she thought.  Naraku has never given me this much time above ground before.  It’s nice to fly free with the winds rather than be stuck in that dank hole in the ground…  “Hm?”

Blinking her eyes open again, for she finally felt the slightest trace of demonic aura, she peered over the side of her feather and scoured the ground below, searching.  It took only a moment before she caught sight of the mane of silver hair, standing out like a beacon in the darkened city, as its owner wandered out of a dingy building along the side of the road.

“At last.”  As she swooped down, she ran over her orders in her head one more time: toy with Inu-Yasha.  Do not kill him.  Wound him if possible.  But most importantly, make certain he realizes who you are.

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she had to ask Naraku how Inu-Yasha was going to know who she was.  After all, she had only been born a few months prior—there was no way the demon would know who she was.

“You are born of me,” Naraku had told her in reply.  “Inu-Yasha will recognize any of my offspring by my scent, and thus he will learn of my existence.”

Hmph, she thought.  So I’m the scapegoat.  Well, at least I’m out of that hellhole for a while.  I’ll make this worth it.

Taking a deep breath, she whipped her metal fan out and created an enormous gust of wind, riding it down to the street level and watching with glee as Inu-Yasha was blown head over heels into a parked car—clearly, he hadn’t been expecting the attack.  Leaping off her feather onto the sodden street as she turned her ride back into a hair pin, she strode over to the bewildered figure on the ground and snapped her fan shut, pointing it straight at his heart.

“Greetings, Inu-Yasha,” she said curtly as he slowly pushed himself upright on the hood of the car, looking quite confused and disgruntled.  To be honest, she was rather surprised by his actions; from all the hype Naraku had given him, she had expected some sort of battle-hardened monster, prepared for an and all attacks that might come his way.  But no matter.  The rather dumb-looking oaf in front of her would simply make the job easier.  “I am Kagura, the wind witch.  You would do well to remember that name.”

Inu-Yasha seemed to flounder for a moment, his hand slipping on the rain-slick surface of the car as he tried to sit up, but his expression was quickly changing from one of confusion to one of anger.  “Wha’…  wha’…  Well, who th’ hell’re you?!” he snapped when he finally slid off the hood of the car and onto his feet, gazing furiously at her with bloodshot eyes.

“I…  I just told you.”  Kagura paused, for she had prepared a speech to give, but now was far too puzzled by his actions.  Peering closer at him, she finally glanced over to the building that he had exited and noticed it was a bar, and at last she understood.  “Ah…  Been drinking, I see.  How disgusting.”

A snarl tugging at his lips, he shouted back in reply, “First ya knock me over, an’ then you insult me, an’ now you’re wastin’ my time!  Dammit woman, I gotta see Miroku!  Now get outta th’ way!”

Slowly, she started to chuckle, which then turned into full-blown laughter.  This was the half-breed that Naraku was so intent on finding?  This was the drunken lout that Naraku had spent so much of his time and energy to overcome?  It was hard not laugh, thinking of her powerful master terrified of such a pathetic figure wobbling in front of her.

“Oh… Oh my…” she said slowly as her laughter began to die down.  “This is—“  her remark was cut off rather abruptly a fist smashed into her cheek, sending her flying backwards to land with a splash in a puddle of dirty rainwater.

“I said, get outta my way!” Inu-Yasha snapped, staggering forward a couple steps from the force of his own punch.  As Kagura stared up at him from the puddle with a look of pure shock, he ignored her, stumbling past and grumbling under his breath in irritation. 

“Damn demons…” she heard him mutter.  “Always in th’ way…”

She remained in the puddle long after he had walked away, still reeling from the surprise blow.  Perhaps he wasn’t one to underestimate after all…  He hadn’t been the least bit frightened or concerned by her presence; rather, he seemed annoyed more than anything, and viewed her more as a distraction than a worthy opponent.

“Hmph.”  With a quick shake of her head to get her wits back, she climbed to her feet and shook the excess water from her clothes, sighing with displeasure at being soaked for the second time in one evening.    Whatever his reaction to her, there were still things that needed to be investigated.  

Pulling out her cell phone, given to her by Muso so they could communicate, from a pocket that had fortunately survived the splash, she punched in a number and waited impatiently for the annoying politician to answer.

“Kagura, I’m in the middle of writing a speech now, can’t this wait until later?” came Muso’s irritated voice over the phone.

“This has to do with our assignment from Naraku,” she snapped in reply.

“You and Kanna need to meet me at the corner of 146th and 2nd street.  I’ve got tasks for the both of you.”

“Just do it, human.”

It took Muso but a few minutes to arrive, with Kanna sitting silently in the passenger’s seat next to him.  Rolling down the window, he leaned out and asked, “What is it?  Did you—“ he abruptly stopped speaking when he caught sight of the wind witch, soaking wet with a purpling bruise on her swollen cheek.  She saw him working furiously to hold back a grin, which did not help her disposition in the slightest.

“I found him,” she began curtly, deciding to avoid the conversation Muso was hoping to have.  “But he went running off.  I don’t think the drunken fool even caught a whiff of my scent.”

“So what do you need us for?” Muso asked.

“I want you to go talk with the bartender of the bar he was drinking at.”  She gestured at the Cornerstone Tap a few buildings down the road.  “See if you can get any information out of him.  Kanna, you’re going to come with me to do some spying.  Inu-Yasha said he needed to see Miroku, and I want to record that information.  Something useful may come of it.”

Nodding, Muso refrained from saying anything; much as he didn’t care for Kagura, her plans were smart, for any and all information they could collect about Inu-Yasha was helpful to remain in good standing with Naraku.  “All right, Kanna, out you go.”

The pale woman silently climbed out of the car and went to stand by Kagura, her camera ever-present around her neck.  With one final glare at Muso, Kagura procured her flying feather once again, and together she and Kanna chased after Inu-Yasha, keeping a healthy distance above to avoid detection.  Kagura was fairly certain that he was too drunk to notice, but his surprise punch kept her on her toes, and she decided not to push matters.

As they came upon the Order’s headquarters, she hung back as Inu-Yasha decided to forgo the front doors and simply leapt up the fire escape stairs, staggering a couple times at the landings before finally reaching the top floor.  Then, tapping roughly on the window, someone came to open it for him and he tumbled inside.

“All right.  Have that thing ready, Kanna,” she ordered, nodding at the girls camera.  Flying up close to the window, she kept out of sight, pressing up flat against the brick outer wall in order to hear the conversation going on inside.  Glancing at her companion, she made certain the camera was in position. 

All right… she thought hopefully as the conversation inside began.  I hope Naraku will pleased with this.  I don’t want to be chained down there again…

oOoOoOo

Inu-Yasha, who had already forgotten about the attack made on him, slowly but surely made his way towards the Order’s HQ, determined to get some answers.  Passing up the front doors, for elevators often made him nauseous, especially if he had been drinking, he instead leapt up the fire escape stairs.  Finally, after almost falling more than once, he peered into the window on the top floor and rapped loudly on the glass.

Both Miroku and Sango nearly jumped out of their skin to see a person standing outside their office window, but once they realized it was Inu-Yasha, Sango quickly got up to let him in.

“Honestly, Inu-Yasha, the window?  What’s so bad about using the door?” she chided as he crawled inside and promptly dropped to the floor.

Letting out a low growl, he shook his head to clear it and carefully sat up, staring around until he finally found Miroku, who was watching bemusedly from his desk.  “You.  I need help.”

“Yes, you do,” Miroku replied, a grin tugging at his lips.  “Is this all you came to tell me?”

Growling again, Inu-Yasha pushed himself to his feet and waved Sango away.  “I need help ‘bout Kagome,” he said, trying to specify.  “Iro said somethin’ that doesn’ sound right.”

Miroku, who had long since grown used to being told bits and pieces of stories as a drunken Inu-Yasha muddled through them over the years, sighed and shook his head.  “What did Iro say?  Was it something about Kagome?”

“Yeah.  He thinks I should get rid o’ her, ‘cause she’s messin’ my life up.”

Although he strongly disagreed with that comment, he asked calmly, “And do you think that?”

“No!” Inu-Yasha snapped back vehemently, clutching the corner of Miroku’s desk as he swayed on his feet.  “But when I told Iro that, he said that if I didn’ wanna get hurt again, I should get rid o’ her.  An’ I don’ wanna get hurt again.”

Glancing over at Sango, who was silently watching the conversation, Miroku sighed and leaned back in his chair.  “Inu-Yasha, Iro’s just trying to keep your business, that’s all.  If Kagome actually helps you get back on your feet, then he will lose all the money he makes off of you, which is a good amount.  I wouldn’t listen to anything he tells you.”

“But…  But he’s right, though!” Inu-Yasha argued, looking a little panicked.  “What if Kagome ends up like—“

“Inu-Yasha.”

Inu-Yasha abruptly stopped talking, staring at Miroku with a mix of anger and confusion.

“Inu-Yasha, don’t dwell on the what-ifs.  They’ll do you no good.  Now, did you know that Kagome called us yesterday and told us what happened?  That you had decided to try and stop drinking on your own?  We asked her why, and she said that you were doing it for her.  Do you understand how amazing that is?”

Inu-Yasha stared stupidly at him, looking very uncertain.  “W-what…?”

“Inu-Yasha, you have been a drunk for eight years now.  Eight.  And yet you are willing to give up your whiskey for this woman!  You feel that Kagome is worth living without alcohol for!  Doesn’t that tell you something?  Perhaps it’s time you took a chance on her, Inu-Yasha.  I think you may be pleasantly surprised.”

Slowly, Inu-Yasha staggered back and collapsed onto the couch, concentrating hard on his ratty sneakers.  “…So stupid…” he muttered under his breath, resting his head in his hand.  “I’m so damn stupid…”

Miroku let out a light chuckle and propped his feet up on his desk, rather pleased with himself.  “Got any other problems you need help with?”

Surprisingly, Inu-Yasha really did consider the question, and at last he lifted his head and said, “What about my drinkin’?  Kagome doesn’ like it when I drink, an’ she didn’ like it when I didn’ drink.  What should I do ‘bout that?”

Once again, Miroku looked over at Sango, who was frowning at the comment.  During their phone call with Kagome, she had told them about Inu-Yasha’s declaration to quit drinking, and how she had rejected it due to his reasoning.  Sango was terribly displeased, but Miroku had once again urged her to have faith in Kagome, so she had refrained from mentioning anything, much as she wanted to.

With a small, reassuring smile at her, he turned back to Inu-Yasha, who was staring earnestly at him, clearly eager for an answer.

“Kagome knows what she’s talking about, Inu-Yasha.  She’s just worried about you.  I suggest, rather than trying to quit drinking on your own and for your own reasons, you put some trust in her.  Don’t try to quit drinking, try to figure out the right reason to quit drinking.  Kagome only wants the best for you, and I think you should follow her instructions.”

The last bit of tension seeped out of Inu-Yasha’s body at that answer.  No longer so wild-eyed and panicked, he let out a sigh and slumped down in the couch.  “So simple...” 

A hush fell over the room.  All of the tension, anxiety, urgency, and surprise was gone, leaving a calming feel in the room.  Staring down at the floor, Inu-Yasha finally mumbled, “Will you give me a ride home?”

With a slight grin tugging at his lips, Miroku nodded.  “Of course.”

oOoOoOo

Clad once again in her cat-print pajamas, Kagome flipped on Inu-Yasha’s TV and flopped down on the end of the couch, slowly beginning to run a comb through her damp hair.  When she had gone out to do her errands, a torrential downpour had left her soaked for the rest of her trip, and by the time she had finished hauling eight bags of groceries up the stairs she was shivering from the cold and wet.  Thus, a hot shower and her comfy pajamas had been next on her list after putting away the food.

Methodically pulling the comb through her dark locks, she let out a yawn—it was tiring, carrying such heavy bags of food up six flights of stairs, and she was glad for the task to be over.  She had hoped Inu-Yasha would have been around to help her, but she figured he would either be too weak from lack of drink or too drunk  to do much.  She had the feeling that, after their conversation that afternoon, Inu-Yasha’s resolve had finally cracked, and he had gone off to the Tap. 

“Such a foolish boy…” she sighed quietly to herself.

Suddenly, the front door was shoved open, making her jump and drop her comb in surprise.  However, it was only Miroku and Inu-Yasha, Miroku supporting the demon as they staggered awkwardly inside.

“Oh!  Inu-Yasha, I was wondering where you had gotten off to.  I’m glad to see you’re home.”

Lifting his head at the sound of her voice, he peered blearily around until he spotted her in the living room.  Then, without a word, he pulled away from Miroku’s steady support and stumbled over to the couch to sit next to her, fixing her with a stern glare.

Glancing at Miroku, although he seemed to be just as curious as she with the demon’s actions, she slowly asked, “Inu-Yasha?  Are you all right?”

“Yer a confusin’ woman,” he slurred after a moment, staring unabashed into her eyes.

“U-um…  Thank you?”

His expression eased, and soon a small smile appeared on his flushed face.  “But I’ll be damned if you aren’ worth it all.”

She immediately felt a blush rise in her cheeks as he shifted next to her, stretching out on the cushions so he could rest his head in her lap, just as he had done the night of the gala. Once again looking over at Miroku as Inu-Yasha tugged the thin blanket off the back of the couch, Kagome gave him a look as if to say, ‘what the heck just happened?!’.  Miroku, with a silent laugh, merely shook his head and waved goodbye.  He certainly didn’t want to intrude on their evening.

Glancing down at her lap as Miroku quietly shut the door, Kagome couldn’t help but smile as Inu-Yasha slowly drifted off to sleep, looking more peaceful than he had in days.  She didn’t know exactly what sort of trials and tribulations he had gone through that day, but whatever it was must have helped him, and she couldn’t have asked for more.

Smoothing his hair away from his face, she whispered, “Good night,”, and received a soft snore in reply.

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Hope you enjoyed it!  Please leave a review and tell me what you think!

Thank you to you who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 25: Role Reversal

“Ah…ah…AH-CHOO!!”

Inu-Yasha was startled into wakefulness far earlier than he should have been by a tremendous sneeze coming from his pillow.  Blinking sleepily, he rolled onto his back and peered up at Kagome’s blurry features, a bit surprised to discover that he was lying in her lap in the first place.  “Whadda… you doin’…?” he mumbled, trying to recall how he got in the position he was in now.

Sniffling, Kagome replied thickly,  “I-I-I’m sorry, I-Inu-Yasha…  I d-didn’t mean to w-wake you…”

He was slowly beginning to realize that something wasn’t quite right.  As the whiskey-greased cogs in his brain tried to turn so he could figure out what was wrong, he carefully pushed himself upright, moaning as the room spun and his head began to throb; he hated being woken up too soon from sleeping off a night of drinking.

As soon as he sat up, he heard Kagome take a sharp intake of breath, so he quickly looked over at her, wondering what was the matter, although it took him a few seconds before the haziness from his vision cleared enough for him to study Kagome carefully.  Her face was flushed and pinched, with dark bags under her eyes; once he had sat up, she had started to shiver uncontrollably from the chill in the room, for his head and hair had been her only source of warmth the entire night.

“Kagome…?” he asked blearily, trying to ignore the throbbing in his temples.  “Wha’s wrong?”

Barely able to keep her teeth from chattering, she sniffed once again, quite obviously congested.  “I-I think I g-got sick yesterday…” she said hoarsely, bringing her knees up to her chest in an attempt to conserve warmth.  “I got c-caught in the rain.”

Rubbing his head as his foggy brain processed the information, he finally repeated, “…Sick?”  He reached out and gently placed his hand on her forehead, then frowned when he felt the amazing amount of heat coming from it.  “You… you’ve got  a fever…” he mumbled, disapproval in his voice.  “You shouldn’t be sittin’ up.”

Rather ungracefully, he shoved himself off the couch and, after stumbling a couple steps, slowly turned around picked up the rumpled blanket that he had previously been using.  “Lie down,” he ordered gruffly, although the order had no strength behind it with his voice being rough with sleep.  Still, Kagome lacked the energy and the desire to argue, and eased herself down until she was fully stretched out on the cushions.  Then, though he obviously had never done such a thing before, Inu-Yasha laid the blanket over her, sloppily tucking it in.

“Stay here,” he told her, trying to sound firm.  “I’ll be back…”  He shuffled out of the room, though Kagome heard a loud thump and a muffled curse a few seconds later, and was able to look up and see that he had walked headlong into a wall, obviously disoriented.  With a growl, he shook his head to clear it, then continued his journey down the hallway.

After a couple minutes, he returned, this time with an armful of blankets and both pillows from his bed.  Dumping his load on the coffee table, he snagged the pillows and turned to face her.  “Lift your head for a second…” he muttered, and placed both of them under her head when she sat up.  Then he proceeded to take the five threadbare blankets and lay each one on top of her, methodically tucking them in.

Kagome, despite how horrible she felt, couldn’t help but smile as she watched him work; he was still not quite awake, and she would even hazard the guess that he wasn’t even fully sober.  He had to work to keep his eyes open, and his ears were drooping on his head, but he doggedly continued with his task.

Finally, once he finished bunching the blankets in around her, which was actually rather uncomfortable but she hadn’t the heart to mention it, she tried to express her gratitude.  “Thank you so much, Inu—“  But he walked out of the room before she even got his name out. 

A little surprised, she simply shrugged and retreated under the covers, glad for the warmth they brought.  Her fever made her face burn like fire but left her body chilled and defenseless.  Sleeping in a cold room with only Inu-Yasha’s head on her lap to keep her warm had certainly not helped the situation, although she hadn’t realized that until she had woken up a few minutes ago, around five o’ clock, feeling absolutely miserable.  Her head pounded, her throat felt like she had swallowed needles, her nose was so full that she couldn’t breathe, and her whole body ached; it was quite a relief to lay down with some blankets.  She did want to bring Inu-Yasha any comfort she could, but she had to admit she was relieved that he had woken up; she doubted she could have gone on for much longer sitting without warmth.

She dozed for a few minutes, then abruptly awoke at the shrill shriek of the teapot, followed shortly by Inu-Yasha’s foul curses and a clatter, then the noise finally stopped.  Waiting a moment to make sure everything was all right, she slowly shut her eyes again, feeling a bit sorry for Inu-Yasha; she knew hangovers made him quite sensitive to light and sound, so the cry of the teapot must have been very unpleasant.  A little while after that she was awoken again, this time by a heavy pounding.

“Inu-Yasha?” she called, wincing as her already weak voice strained to be heard.  “Are you all right?”

The pounding stopped and after a beat she heard a mumbled, “…Fine.”

When silence reigned from the kitchen, she slowly settled back down to sleep, although her concern for Inu-Yasha only allowed her to doze.  However, after a few moments she was awoken by the most delightful cooling sensation on her fiery forehead, and when she opened her eyes, she saw that Inu-Yasha was placing a bag of crushed ice there.

When he realized she was awake, he slowly stepped aside so she could see the coffee table, where a steaming mug and a roll of paper towels sat.  “Tea,” he grunted, pointing at the cup.  “An’ I don’t have tissues, so those’ll have to do for now.  I’ll go to the convenience store a little later.”  Peering grumpily at her, he asked, “Do you need any medicine?”

Touched by all of his assistance, she carefully shook her head, making sure not to remove the blessedly cool icepack from her forehead.  “Not right now, but perhaps later.  Now I just need to sleep.”

Looking a little guilty for keeping her up, he muttered, “Oh.  Sorry.”  Then, keeping quiet, he walked over to the armchair that Kagome usually occupied and sank down in it, looking relieved to be sitting down once more.

Kagome watched him in fascination as he slowly sank lower and lower as the minutes ticked by, until his chin was tucked into his chest and he was almost lying horizontal in the chair.  Feeling a bit bad that he had done so much for her while hardly lucid, she quietly whispered, “Inu-Yasha?”

His eyes barely opened into slits, he murmured sleepily, “Hm?”

“…Thank you.”

“…Mm…”  And he finally dropped off to sleep.  Kagome smiled tiredly, then pulled the covers up even further, deciding to follow his example and catch a few more winks herself.

oOoOoOoOo

For the second time that day, Inu-Yasha awoke to the sound of Kagome sneezing, although this time he greeted the world far more sober.  Rubbing his head, which now had only a dull ache rather than a pulsing throb, he slowly sat up in the armchair and assessed the situation, having to pause a moment and remember how he had gotten in the armchair in the first place.

Carefully standing up and stretching the kinks out of his back, he shuffled over to check on Kagome, wincing as she blew her nose so loudly into a paper towel that it sounded like a foghorn.  As she tossed her makeshift tissue onto the coffee table that was already littered with them, he picked up her empty mug and stared down at her, frowning at how ill she looked.

“You want more?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Sniffing miserably, she nodded in response and quickly retreated back under the covers.  For the short time she had to emerge from them to blow her nose, she already had started to shiver again.

Silently, he leaned over and pulled the blankets up higher over her shoulders, doing a bit better job at tucking this time around now that he wasn’t half asleep.  Then he snagged the bag of warm melted ice off her forehead and took that with him into the kitchen as well.

As he puttered around the kitchen, opting to use the microwave to heat up water rather than the infernal teapot, he slowly felt his cheeks heating up.  Why was he so embarrassed to care for her?  He certainly didn’t mean to be showing any affection, but what else was he supposed to do when there was a sick woman lying on his couch?

Letting out a soft growl, he shook his head as he pulled some ice cubes out of the freezer and dumped them in a plastic bag.  He shouldn’t be so worked up about it.  Kagome had done the same thing for him when he was in the hospital.  Hell, she had taken care of him every morning when he’d woken up with a hangover!  He was just returning the favor.  That was it.  Glancing down at the bag in his hands, he opted to crush the ice in his fist rather than smash it on the countertop like he had done earlier, making the process a lot easier on both of them. 

Finally, once everything was ready, he brought them back out to her, setting the mug within arm’s reach and gingerly laying the bag of ice on her forehead once again.  Though her eyes were closed, she murmured a soft, “Thank you.”

Grunting in reply as he felt his cheeks flame up again, he quickly disappeared into the bedroom for a moment, digging through his closet until he found his ragged baseball cap.  He crammed into onto his head, then grabbed his sunglasses off the dresser and went back out into the living room, crouching down in front of Kagome once more.

“Hey.  Kagome.”  He nudged her arm, feeling a little bad about rousing her but knowing he had to.

Slowly her eyes fluttered open and she looked tiredly up at him.  He frowned when he noticed that her eyes, usually a vibrant, striking blue had now taken on a sort of dull grey color, and he knew that she really was not feeling well at all.

“I’m going to the convenience store to get supplies.  What kind of medicine do I need to get for you?”

Her reply was short and to the point—she was far too tired to waste words—and as soon as she finished describing the medicine she shut her eyes once more and went back to sleep.

His frown deepening, he made certain she was properly covered up with blankets before he quickly left the apartment, leaping over the railing on the stairs so as not to waste time.  Landing lightly on the first floor, he strode determinedly outside, just barely remembering to shove his sunglasses on before emerging into public.  Fortunately for him, it was still the same cloudy, overcast sky from yesterday, so the sun wasn’t there to torment his in his hangover.

His trip to the convenience went rather quickly, for it was less than three blocks away and he would not allow anyone to get in his way.  During those three blocks he received no less than six curses and four birds, all of which he replied to in kind. 

Finally pushing through the double doors of the store, he grabbed a basket and slowly started to prowl around, wondering where all of the things on his list were located.  In the past, the only things he came into the store for were cleaning supplies, whiskey, cigarettes, and the occasional package of ramen.  However, with Kagome waiting for him back at the apartment, he didn’t want to dilly-dally.  Much as he hated approaching people of his own volition, he was forced to find the spotty-faced kid in an apron who worked the floor to help him.

After fifteen minutes of his patience being tested, during which he had bitten his tongue raw as he tried not to snap at the boy who described the differences between every brand of orange juice they sold in the store or the difference between Kleenex with lotion and Kleenex without lotion, he finally strode up to the counter and slammed his basket down, earning himself a raised eyebrow from the short, heavy woman behind the register.

“You seem to be in a foul mood today, Inu-Yasha,” she commented drily, beginning to remove his items from the basket and swiping them across the scanner.  She had known Inu-Yasha ever since he had moved into his current apartment; he visited the store at least once a week to keep himself stocked with cigarettes and whiskey, and had done that so often that they were on a first-name basis.  At least, she was with him.  He had never bothered to look at her nametag.

“Whatever,” he growled back, tugging his wallet out of his back pocket.  “And get me a pack of my cigarettes.”  He had smoked his last one at the Tap the night prior, and was starting to feel that niggling sensation that urged him not to go too much longer without one.

“All right…”  Pulling his usual red and white package out from under the counter and handing it to him, she said conversationally, “So…  Kleenex, orange juice, medicine, soup, tea bags, and honey, hm?  You planning on getting sick?”

He tugged a white stick out of the pack and stuck it between his lips, ready to be lit the moment he got outside.  He discovered that he didn’t like smoking around Kagome anymore, and he especially wasn’t going to do it when she was sick, so he had to take advantage of those rare moments when he wasn’t around her.

“No, I ain’t planning on getting sick,” he snapped.

“Oh, then you got a sick friend at home?”

He paused in search for cash in his wallet, a little taken aback by the question.  Finally, he mumbled, “Yeah.  A friend.”

“Huh.  Well, good for you.”  Scanning the last item, she said, “No whiskey this time around?”

Stopping his search for money once again, he glanced behind him down the liquor aisle, swallowing hard.  He didn’t have any whiskey back at the apartment, so it would be rather convenient to pick some up now.  However, he didn’t want to drink, not while Kagome was sick.  With a heavy sigh, he turned back to the counter and shook his head; the temptation would be too great if he brought any home.

“Huh.”  She seemed to be rather surprised by his visit today.  “All right then, $14.32 is your total.”

He gave her a sharp glare, his temper sparking once again; he knew that the medicine alone was worth that much.  She had been trying for years to give him the 50% off ‘city hero’ discount as a way to show her gratitude, which he had always violently protested and usually won the fight; she had discovered early on that he either paid full price or would take his business elsewhere, but that certainly didn’t stop her from trying.  However, today he was in a rush, and didn’t feel like arguing.  Sighing, he went back to his wallet to pay, and he did not miss the wide grin that spread across her face.

With a slight growl when he finally remembered that he had used up all his cash at the Tap yesterday, he pulled his debit card out and slapped it on the counter.  Once the transaction was complete, he snatched the bag from her hands and stalked towards the door, eager to be gone.

“Take good care of him, Inu-Yasha, you hear?” she called after him by way of goodbye.

He stopped at the door, oddly still.  After a moment, he said over his shoulder, “Her.”

“What’s that?”

“’Take good care of her’.  It’s a girl.”

“Oh.  Sorry.  Take good care of her!”

“Hmph.”  He finally exited, pausing once to light his cigarette before heading towards home.

Watching him from the register, she shook her head.  “I never thought I’d see the day…”

oOoOo

The rest of the day at Inu-Yasha’s apartment was oddly quiet.  Inu-Yasha was strangely alert, keeping a careful eye on the clock to make certain Kagome got all of her doses at the proper time, refilling her ice pack, and making certain to keep the volume on the TV turned down whenever she dozed off.  He had fixed her the orange juice and heated up a bowl of soup, but she only accepted the orange juice, claiming she wasn’t hungry.  In fact, she ended up making him eat the bowl of soup, saying that just because she was sick didn’t mean that she shouldn’t do her job, and she needed to make sure that he ate properly.  There was little force behind her order, but her voice was so feeble and pathetic that Inu-Yasha found himself unable to deny her request.

Finally when evening came around he brought Kagome her final dose of medicine for the day, he crouched down in front of the couch, carefully studying her as she slowly sat up and swallowed the pills with water, already shivering as the blankets slipped down.  Immediately lying back down once the medicine was taken, she allowed Inu-Yasha to pull the covers back over her himself, already an expert at tucking her in after just one day.

However, once she was covered, he remained in the same position, looking at her with a slight frown on his face.

“What is it?” she asked, her voice rasping in her throat.

He quickly averted his gaze, feeling his cheeks flush for the third time that day.  “…Are you feeling any better?” he mumbled, scratching at a stain on the sofa cushion.

Going through a coughing fit before she could answer, she finally replied hoarsely, “…A…a little,” and gave him a weak smile.

Easily seeing through her lie, his shoulders slumped and he hung his head.  “I’m sorry,” he said softly.  “I’ve never done this before.  I’m not quite sure what to do.”

Kagome slowly stuck her hand out from under the blankets and took his hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze.  “You’re doing just fine,” she croaked, unable to keep a grin off her face at how silly her voice sounded.  “I appreciate everything you’ve done.  Don’t worry, another good night’s sleep, and I should be feeling better by tomorrow, all right?”

Bringing his own gaze to look up into her grey eyes, he sighed and nodded slowly.  Then, rather abruptly, he stood up.  “Sit up for a second.”

A bit puzzled, she slowly pushed herself up on her elbows, watching in confusion as he pulled out one pillow and tossed it to the floor.  Then, grabbing the other one, he lifted it up and took its place on the couch, laying the pillow down on his own lap.  “Okay, you can lay down now.”

Looking at him with a very surprised expression, she slowly lay down, gingerly resting her head on the pillow.  The position was rather comfortable, but she couldn’t figure out why he would do such a thing.

“My mother did this for me when I got sick,” he said softly by way of explanation.  “I always felt better.  Besides, you’ve done it for me twice now, and I’ve gotten a very good night’s sleep both times.”

“…I think it was the whiskey that was giving you a good night’s sleep,” she said quietly, and it took Inu-Yasha a minute to realize that she was making a joke.

“Huh.  That’s as may be,” he growled lightly.  “But I ain’t givin’ you whiskey to sleep well.  Whiskey and a fever don’t mix.”

“All right…” she sighed, pretending to be sorrowful about the loss.

“Hmph.”

Both fell silent, Inu-Yasha feeling very awkward as he felt his flush creep all the way up into his ears.  Slowly, he lifted his hand and gingerly started to stroke her hair; he didn’t remember much from the night after the gala, but he did vaguely recall how soothing it was to have her cool hand calmly caressing his hair, smoothing it away from his face.  He tried to emulate her actions, keeping his strokes smooth and slow.  It must have worked, for she was soon in a deep sleep, breathing evenly and snoring lightly since her nose was so full.  A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth at the noise, but he kept silent, pleased to see that at least something he had done that day had worked.

As the hour grew late and he slowly dropped off to sleep himself, he never realized that he had not once thought about his desire for whiskey that evening, for the first time in many years.

oOoOoOo

“All right, Kanna, bring it back in.”

Muso and Kagura sat back in the seat of the car as Kanna slowly started to reel in a long black wire, giving it a slight tug.  They had added an extension onto her camera and attached it to the windowsill of Inu-Yasha’s apartment where they had followed him home the night before.  It had gone unnoticed all day by both occupants in the apartment, but had allowed the trio to watch their every movement and hear every word said.

“How sappy,” Kagura commented, looking rather displeased at watching the poignant moment in the apartment.  “He’s so pathetic.  I find it hard to believe Naraku is afraid of him.”

“Kagura, just because he wants revenge doesn’t mean he’s afraid of the whelp,” Muso contradicted.

“Look, this foolish half-breed is the one that killed him before—why else would Naraku want him dead?”

“Did he ever say he wanted Inu-Yasha dead?”

Kagura glared at Muso with her bright red eyes, pursing her lips.  “Why must you always act like you know more about Naraku than I do?  I’m the one who spends the most time with him.  Not by choice, mind you.”

Clucking his tongue, Muso moved past her to climb into the driver’s seat.  “I’m a politician—it’s my job to think along crooked lines.  Lord Naraku’s mind just happens to work in the same way.  Kanna, have you collected it yet?”

Just as he raised the question, the camera’s scope popped in through the window, landing right in Kanna’s lap.

“Excellent.  Well then, time to take this information to Lord Naraku.  Let’s hope it’s enough to keep him satisfied for a while, hm?  I’ve got to work on my campaign, and running around doing all of Naraku’s dirty work is not helping that at all.”

As Muso pulled away from the curb and turned around, heading for the quarry at the other end of the city, Kagura let out an inaudible sigh and rested her chin in her hand as she stared out the window.  It had been under her suggestion that they follow Inu-Yasha back to his apartment and stake it out for a day to pick up more information; she really just wanted more time to be aboveground, enjoying the fresh air and the playful breezes before being forced down into the hole in the ground once again.  But now it seemed that her time was up.  She could only hope that Naraku’s plan of revenge would involve something where she could be of use, so it would give her another chance to ride the winds.  But until then, she knew she had nothing to look forward to but many solitary days in the dank, dark underground of the quarry.

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Hope you enjoyed it!  Please, leave a review and let me know what you think!

Thank you to you who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 26: Wanted

Kagura tapped her foot impatiently against the damp earth, her red eyes fixed on the swirling purple orb in the center of the room.  She, Muso, and Kanna had been waiting for over an hour as Naraku reviewed their notes and scoured their footage, and the delay was practically unbearable.  She was so downtrodden at being underground once more that she would have thrown a fit at the entrance had her dignity not kept her head up. 

The caverns were even more damp and claustrophobic than she remembered, most likely due to her taste of the outside world; now she was beginning to regret going aboveground at all since it made the caves worsen tenfold in her eyes.  Glancing up at the dripping ceiling with a sharp glare, she pulled her coat tighter about her and tried to keep from shivering in the cold; not even being drenched in rainwater was as bad as this.

“Well, well, well…” came Naraku’s deep voice, startling Kagura and Muso after so long in silence.  “It seems our dear pup has brought his own punishments down upon himself.”  Slowly, a hand holding Kanna’s camera emerged from the orb, making Muso and Kagura stare in surprise.  Over the course of the past several months, during which the only part of him they had seen was his hand, the hand had transformed from a scaly, reptilian claw to birdlike talons to a spike-covered appendage, and this time it was deceptively human.  Kagura shuddered to think of what his body must look like after seeing his hand alone undergo so much change.

“What would you have us do, Lord Naraku?” Muso asked respectfully, keeping his usual smug tone out of his voice as Kanna silently stepped up and accepted her camera.

A low chuckle drifted out to greet their ears.  “Well, I think that poor boy has suffered enough, don’t you?  We should not heap more troubles on an already troubled mind.  Muso, you will go out and concentrate on your campaign and leave Inu-Yasha to his own devices; we must win this election at all costs.”

Hardly believing what he just heard, Muso gave Kagura an odd stare to see if she perhaps knew what was going on, but she looked just as puzzled as himself.  Clearing his throat, he said hesitantly, “Of… of course, my lord.”

“Kanna,” Naraku continued.  “With your scent of Nothing and your aura of Nothing, Inu-Yasha should be unable to be alerted to your presence, so I want you to be on full surveillance of him and his beloved nurse.  Do not let them out of your sight.  I want to know the minute any changes in his lifestyle occur, particularly concerning this woman or his drinking, understand?”

Kanna, with her inability to show emotion, merely nodded at the request.

“Now go.  Return only when you have something to report.”

Although terribly confused as to Naraku’s actions, Kagura couldn’t help but stare wistfully as Muso led Kanna out of the cavern with a rather relieved expression on his face—he hated the underground almost as much as she did. 

With a sigh, she turned back to the orb, which had become eerily silent.  Trying to cover up her fear that she would be locked under the earth once more, she asked boldly, “What are you scheming at, Naraku?  I find it hard to believe that you actually want the pup to quit drinking.  He’s making himself less of a  threat by doing so; if you encourage him to keep his head clear, he could easily make a stand against you once more.”

The murky silhouette from behind the orbs swirling walls shifted a bit, and Kagura felt the hair on the back of her neck raise as she gained her master’s attention.

“You understand nothing of the concept of revenge, Kagura…” he said slowly, his tone so low that she was unable to tell if there was menace or mirth behind it.  “I do indeed want Inu-Yasha to climb as high as he can out of this hole he has dug for himself.  For the higher he climbs, the harder he falls…  And when he reaches the top, I shall be there to send him tumbling back down once again.”

Now Kagura could easily make out the sinister joy creeping into his voice, setting her nerves on edge.

“Remember, Kagura—revenge is sweetest with a dash of hope.”  And his ominous laughter made her take a step back.

“W…what do you want me to do…?” she asked slowly, trying hard to keep her voice from shaking.  She had always wondered whether Naraku had any sanity left after being holed up behind that shield for so many years, and this latest display was making her doubt even more.

His mirth rapidly dying down, he spoke once again in a more sober tone.  “Even if it is not time to make our presence known to our dear friend, it is time to let this city take notice of the fact that things are soon to change for the worse.  I want you to stir up the demons in this city—get the attention of the Order, and let them know that things will not be quite so peaceful as they have been in recent years.  Understand?”

She nodded mutely, then quickly turned to leave, quite eager to be out of the cavern and away from her questionable master.

“Kagura.”  His ominous voice stopped her dead in her tracks, and she slowly looked back over her shoulder.

“Yes, my lord?”

“Do not, under any circumstances, give Inu-Yasha wind of your presence.  Not until I give the order.  Do not forget what may happen if you do…”  The human hand extended once again from the orb, although this time it was holding something.  It was a slimy, red, pulsating lump with tubes that grew out of the flesh of Naraku’s forearm.

Kagura moaned slightly and glanced away, knowing exactly what that thing was.  Putting a hand to her chest where the lump in his hand should have been, she nodded dumbly.  “…I won’t forget.”

“Good.  Now go.”

With that order, she practically fled from the cavern, desperate to get away from him and all of his insanity.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Inu-Yasha blinked slowly as he rose from the depths of sleep; he hardly wanted to wake up at all, he was so comfortable, but, strange as it was, he felt no desire to continue his slumber.  Most mornings it was a chore to simply open his eyes, and even when he did, a pounding headache usually sufficed to clamp them shut once again.  But this morning he felt rather odd, and he slowly realized it was because he wasn’t hungover.  He had no headache, no queasy stomach, and no aching muscles.  Light didn’t attack his eyes and sounds didn’t assault his ears, and for once he actually felt fine.

Sitting up a bit, although being careful no disturb the sleeping woman on his lap, he glanced off to the right out the window and saw a deep lavender sky, littered with little grey clouds as remnants of the rainy days past.  In between the tall buildings, tiny shots of sunlight streamed through as the sun slowly peeked its face over the horizon.  For a few moments, he was mesmerized; he hadn’t seen a sunrise in eight years.  Or, if he had, he was too drunk from staying up all night drinking to remember it when he finally did awake.

After staring at it for a little while, he let out a soft sigh and looked down at Kagome, who was still sound asleep on his lap.  Carefully, so as not wake her, he laid his hand on her forehead, then allowed a small, victorious grin to cross his face—her fever must have broke during the night.  Unable to keep a strange, happy feeling from bubbling up in his chest, he picked up the remote from its place on the arm of the couch and turned the TV on, immediately lowering the volume.  However, the sudden flood of light in the room caused her to stir, and she slowly opened her eyes, staring at the screen for a moment before glancing up at Inu-Yasha.

“Sorry…” he said sheepishly, setting the remote down.  “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Mm…  ‘Sokay…” she murmured sleepily, shifting a little on his lap and pulling the blankets up.  Within moments she was asleep again, and Inu-Yasha let out a small sigh of relief.  A sense of peace settled over the room as he gazed at the television, listening with half an ear to Kagome’s soft snores.  He felt so calm and relaxed, as he had never felt in many years, and found that he was actually… happy.

The realization caught him off-guard.  ‘Happy’ was an emotion that he had given up on long ago.  Nowadays, ‘happy’ to him meant getting so drunk that he didn’t know better.  So to experience the feeling without a bottle of liquor clouding his senses…  he hardly knew what to do.

Suddenly, his thought process was shattered with the harsh ring of the telephone, which, in the quiet of the early morning, was as loud as a freight train and was enough to make both him and Kagome practically leap out of their skin.  Uttering a foul curse, he quickly got up and set both pillows on the cushion, urging Kagome to lie back down with a, “I got it, I got it…”

With a furious scowl, he strode into the kitchen where they had moved the telephone when he had broken his side table and snatched up the thunderous appliance, effectively ending the assault on their ear drums.

“Ah, Kagome, good morning,” came Miroku’s slightly harried voice before Inu-Yasha even had the chance to snarl an inappropriate greeting.  “I apologize for calling so early, but something has come up.  We have an assignment for you and Inu-Yasha, if you want it.  For some reason, there have been fights breaking out all on the west end of town, and all of them are demon-related.  Some of the issues have been demons damaging homes and businesses, some of it is demons fighting each other, there are some demons attacking cars on the roads…  We haven’t a clue why it’s started, but we need assistance.  Do you think Inu-Yasha will be sober enough to lend a hand soon?  Things are getting a little out of hand, and we need as much help as possible.  We’re stretched a little thin as-is—even Sango has gone down to help, so—“

“This ain’t Kagome,” Inu-Yasha growled into the mouthpiece, already tired of listening to his friend talk.

“Wha—Inu-Yasha, is that you?  What are you doing up so early?  Have you been drinking all night?  Honestly, I thought you said you wanted to quit.”

“Yes, it’s me, and no, I haven’t been drinking all night,” he snapped in reply, tapping his claws in annoyance on the counter.  “Kagome’s sick.  I was takin’ care of her, so I didn’t have the chance to get drunk, all right?”

“You’re taking care of Kagome?” Miroku said in return, a touch of disbelief in his tone.  “Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?”

His lip curling up in a snarl, he said, “She got caught in the rain yesterday and now has a cold, why is that so hard to believe?!”

“That is not what’s so hard to believe, it’s the fact that you’re the one taking care of her.”

“I’m the only one around to do it, who else would---arrgh, never mind!!  It’s not important!  The point is, Kagome is sick, so we can’t do the assignment.  Find someone else.”

“But why can’t you come?  Kagome is a nurse, Inu-Yasha.  I’m sure she can take care of herself for a couple of hours while you help us out.  Please?  Sango is pulling her hair out over this.”

With a frustrated growl, Inu-Yasha finally snapped, “Fine.  I’ll be there in a minute,” before abruptly hanging up, clearly displeased with the situation.    He didn’t want to leave Kagome, for he was concerned for her health, but Miroku did have a point—she was a nurse, and did know how to take care of herself.  He could easily leave for a little while and she would be just fine on her own.

Sighing, he slowly moved around the kitchen, heating a mug of water for her tea and setting out her morning dose of medicine.  He certainly wanted to make sure she was as comfortable as possible before he left.  Once the tea had steeped, he carefully balanced the medicine and a glass of water in one hand and her mug in the other and carried them out to the coffee table, crouching down beside the couch so he could talk to her.

She had not yet fallen back asleep after being rudely jolted awake by the telephone, and was in fact watching the news on TV, fairly alert.  She quickly sat up a bit and turned her attention to him when he walked in, and he was relieved to see that her eyes were not quite the dull grey they had been the day before.

“You have an assignment?” she asked, her voice rough only with sleep, not with illness anymore.

He nodded, handing her the pills and the glass of water.  “Yeah.  Apparently a bunch of demons are causing a ruckus downtown, and Sango’s freaking out about it.  Will you be all right by yourself?  I won’t leave if you need me to stay.”

Kagome smiled a bit at the open sincerity in his expression, but she shook her head.  “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.  I’m feeling much better already.  Besides, I think I’ll just be asleep for most of the day again.  That seemed to do me the most good, right?”

Inu-Yasha seemed to droop a little at the statement, but he nodded in agreement.  “Yeah.  All right, I guess I’ll go…”  As he made to stand, he was suddenly stopped when Kagome grabbed his shirt sleeve.  He looked at her in surprise.

“Inu-Yasha…  Thank you for all you’ve done for me—you really have helped.”  She smiled encouragingly at him, especially when he seemed to brighten, almost imperceptively at the comment.  “But you do have a job, and that job does come before me, all right?  So go and help the city, and I’ll be here when you get back.”

With a determined nod, he stood and strode out of the apartment, trying to keep a proud smile from breaking his features; he had been hoping that he helped her in some way, and to hear her acknowledge it made all the difference in the world.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was well after dark when Inu-Yasha finally creaked open the door to his apartment, panting heavily and leaning against the doorframe.  The day had been dreadful.  He had no idea what had sparked such a massive outbreak of misbehavior from the city’s demon population, but it had been exhausting trying to fight back every imp, ogre, and goblin that was terrorizing the downtown area.  Almost the entire Order had been there to fight, every cleaning crew on hand was there to repair damaged roads, light fixtures, traffic signals, and even the city’s police force was involved, due to the amazing number of incidences.  Nothing had been fatal or deadly, for most of the demons were only minor ones and knew only how to play pranks and the like, but the total chaos that ensued was enough to make Inu-Yasha was to pull his hair out in frustration.  But at last the final demon had been slayed, the police had restored order, and only the cleaning crew was needed to repair the damage.  Inu-Yasha had been asked to stay and discuss the meaning behind the influx of demons by Sango, but he only had to glare at her with his tired, bloodshot eyes, for his temper was at its breaking point, and she stepped aside to let him go home.

“Inu-Yasha?”  Kagome shuffled out of the kitchen to greet him, wrapped up in three blankets to ward off the frigid air in the apartment.  She still was very pale and clearly did not have much energy, but he couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh to see that she was on her feet.  “Oh my goodness, is everything all right?  You look horrible!”

“I’m fine…” he grumbled, too tired and cranky to listen to any coddling Kagome might have to offer.  His disposition, which had been so pleasant that morning, had rapidly deteriorated through the course of the day, and he could now hardly keep a civil tongue around even Kagome.  “There was just a lot of stuff to do…”  He rubbed his eyes tiredly with a trembling hand.

“Well here, why don’t you go lie do—ah…ahh…ah-CHOO!!”  Sniffing, she smiled sheepishly at him and said, “Um, lie down.”

Fixing her with the sternest glare he could muster, he took hold of her arm and led her back over to the couch, gently pushing her onto the cushions.  “You lie down,” he growled.  “Were you making tea in there?”  She nodded in reply.  “Good, I’ll go get it for you.”

Going into the kitchen, he glanced dazedly at the mug on the table and saw that it wasn’t finished steeping, so he took the opportunity to scrub all of the dirt and grime off his face and hands; the cleaning crew had allowed him the use of some cleaning supplies to get the blood off his claws, but he was still filthy from the fighting, and didn’t want to contaminate her tea.

As he stood with his hands under the hot water at the kitchen sink, he slowly shut his eyes and let out a soft moan; he was utterly exhausted, but he couldn’t quite figure out why.  Yes, there had been  a strange number of demons about and yes, it had been a very long day, but he still shouldn’t be quite this tired—perhaps he had caught Kagome’s cold?  Roughly, he shook his head; his demon blood prevented him from ever catching a cold.  But what else could it be? 

As he stood there, pondering the issue, he slowly started to notice how badly his hands were shaking underneath the flow of water, and how thirsty and dry his throat was, and it was then he finally realized that he hadn’t had a swallow of whiskey in two days.  He had been so busy with Kagome and all of the demons that day that he had never noticed that niggling feeling in his limbs that reminded him of what was to happen if he didn’t get a drink soon.  But now that he finally had the chance to breathe, his body jumped at the opportunity to remind him of its needs.

Leaning heavily against the sink, he leaned over the basin and took deep, slow breaths, trying to calm his trembling limbs as the damning whiskey craving coursed through his veins with a vengeance, furious at being ignored for so long.  His head started to pound, and for a moment the world swirled in his vision, until he finally let out a sharp growl and shook his head, bringing his senses back into order.

No, no, no! he thought, clenching his jaw to stop a groan from escaping.  Not until Kagome’s better!  Just a little longer…  I’ll be fine…  Slowly straightening, though he couldn’t ignore the terrible weakness in his limbs, he strode over and snagged Kagome’s mug of tea and, after dropping the tea bag in the trash, carried it out to the living for her.

As he handed her the mug, she noticed how violently the liquid inside was sloshing around due to his unsteady hand and quickly looked up at him, concern in her eyes.  He pointedly ignored it, asking gruffly, “Have you taken your last dose of medicine for the night?”  She nodded slowly, not taking her eyes off him.  “Good.”

“Here,” she said, carefully sitting up and pulling her pillows out of the way.  “You need to sit down for a while, you look dead on your feet.”

“Hmph.”  He scowled at the comment, but his legs were beginning to shake underneath him, so he collapsed onto the couch, doing his best to hold back a sigh of relief.  Kagome, after giving him a questioning glance to which he nodded slightly, placed a pillow on his lap and carefully lay back down, settling comfortably into the same position in which she had slept so peacefully the night before.  For a few moments they sat quietly, mindlessly watching television, but Kagome found herself unable to relax.

Inu-Yasha was incredibly tense beneath her; she could easily feel his discomfort and stress.  Looking up at his face, she saw that his jaw was clenched and a muscle in his cheek was throbbing.  His right hand, which was hanging off the arm of the couch, was trembling like mad, and his foot was tapping irritably against the leg of the coffee table.  A sad smile broke her features when she realized what was wrong with him.  However, she decided not to say anything; if he wasn’t going to do anything about it, then she knew it wouldn’t help if she pestered him.  So, to take his mind off it, she decided to start a conversation.

“What was the assignment all about?” she asked quietly, her voice still a little thick from congestion.  “I saw things all over the news, but they weren’t very clear about what was going on.”

“Buncha minor demons wreaking havoc,” Inu-Yasha grunted between clenched teeth, never taking his eyes off the TV screen.  “No deaths, except theirs.  Just a lot of accidents.”

“Do you know why they all suddenly attacked?”

“Nope.  Nobody knows.”  Glaring down at her, he said harshly, “Now stop talkin’, you need to go to sleep.  You can worry about that stuff when you feel better.”

Shrinking back a bit, she said in return, “But I do feel better…”

“Shut up,” he growled back, clearly in no mood to argue.  “Go to sleep.”

A little hurt by how abruptly he spoke to her, she quickly fell silent and rested her head back on the pillow, this time not snuggling into him as she had in times prior.  Noticing this lack of familiarity, Inu-Yasha finally groaned and rested his head in his hand, raking his claws through his bangs.

“Dammit, Kagome, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it…” he muttered, keeping his eyes shut tight.  “It’s just…  Ah, never mind.”

Kagome glanced up at him, then let out a quiet sigh and settled back down, acting a bit more warm to him.  She knew his withdrawal was sending his temper off, but she also knew that arguing with him to go and drink would only serve to confuse him more, and most likely make him dig his feet in and abstain even longer, something she did not want to continue.  So, she simply opted to lay her hand on his knee and say softly, “…It’s okay.”  He let out a soft growl, directed at himself, and gently gave her arm a squeeze.

With that minor altercation over, Kagome finally decided that it really was time to sleep.  She had dozed all day long, but had been concerned over the assignment he had been sent on and tried to stay awake to keep an eye on the news.  But now that he was back, she could at last settle into a deep sleep, and hopefully kick her cold once and for all.  Pulling the covers up over her shoulders, she nuzzled her head into the pillow and shut her eyes, ready to rest.

However, once again Inu-Yasha’s tension prevented her from relaxing.  He was not comfortable to rest on at all, his whole body was so stiff and stressed.  She tried to sleep, but had little luck.  It came as a relief to her when, twenty minutes later, he finally slid out from under her, unable to restrain himself any longer.

“I’m sorry, dammit!” he shouted in frustration as leapt over the coffee table and ran out the door.

Kagome blinked, a little surprised by how suddenly he had cracked, but she simply shook her head and added the second pillow back to her stack now that he had gone.  She hated to see him torture himself like that, but she knew that his feelings to protect her and care for her were very recent, and in the face of an eight-year addiction, they were no match.  With a light sigh, she lay down on the pillows once again and settled in for some rest.

oOoOoOo

Kagome awoke in the early hours of the morning with a terrible thirst, her throat so dry that it was difficult to swallow.  Blearily, she sat up and stared around, a little confused as to why it was pitch black in the room, but soon realized that the TV was off, leaving only a blank black box to stare at.  Peering at the digital clock sitting on top of the television, she saw that it was just past two in the morning.

With a raspy cough, she decided that a glass of water was definitely in order should she want to return to sleep that night, so she gathered a blanket about her shoulders and stumbled into the kitchen, blinking suddenly when the dazzling light hit her sleep-blurred eyes.  For a few moments, she stood still in the doorway, blinking the spots from her vision and trying to recall if it was she who had left the lights on.  However, when her vision cleared, she realized that Inu-Yasha had opted to take sanctuary in the kitchen we he returned home, rather than disturb her on the couch.  He was seated at the kitchen table with his head resting next to a half-empty bottle of whiskey and his hand wrapped around an empty tumbler.  He was frowning deeply in his sleep, clearly resting uneasily, but the smothering blanket of alcohol made certain that he stayed trapped in his whiskey dreams.

Staring sleepily at him for a few seconds, Kagome finally turned around and plodded back into the living room, pulling one of her pillows off the couch before returning back to the kitchen.  She carefully tugged the tumbler from his grasp to make room for the pillow on the table, then gently lifted his head enough to slide the pillow underneath it.  Then, though the chilly air in the room nipped at her weak body, she slipped the blanket off her shoulders and tucked it around Inu-Yasha’s, making certain it would stay should he shift at all during the rest of his slumber.  He let out a soft moan at her touch, but she merely smiled and playfully flicked his ear.  His ear twitched in response, and his sleep remained unaffected.

A wide yawn breaking her features, she knew it was time to go back to bed.  Quickly draining a glass of water, she shuffled out of the kitchen, then paused in the doorway and turned back to look at the demon slumped over the table; she knew the day had been rather difficult for him, but deep down, she hoped that perhaps he had learned something from it, and that would bring him one step closer to figuring out the real reason he needed to quit drinking.

With a tired smile, she whispered quietly, “Good night, Inu-Yasha,” and then she turned out the lights.

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OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

oOoOo

There you have it, I hope you enjoyed reading it.  Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter!

A/N: Just to let y’all know, I will be going on a mission trip to West Virginia for a week.  I will be out in the boonies and surrounded by mountains with no computers, let alone internet access, for my use.  So please be patient until I get back.  Thanks! ^__^

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 27: Department Store Therapy

“Ah…  That’s much better.”  Kagome emerged from the bathroom dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater, carrying the pajamas that she had worn for the past two days in her arms; upon waking up that morning, she realized that she had not had a shower since she had gotten sick, so she had quickly gone about to rectify the situation.  Now that she was clean, she was feeling much better, with only a slight sniffle and a nagging cough to give any hint that she had been ill.

Stopping by the bedroom to deposit her clothes in her overnight bag and to pull out her comb, she wandered down the hallway and into the kitchen, pausing to check on her sleeping patient.  He was still sleeping soundly on the kitchen table, looking much more at ease with the pillow under his head.  She smiled a little at the sound of his soft snores and carefully pulled the blanket up further before leaving him be. 

After going out onto the landing to pick up the newspaper, she brought it back inside to the kitchen table and spread it open, glancing at the headlines while she went about making a cup of tea.  Then, once the drink was prepared, she sat down and started to read, slowly bringing the comb through her damp locks.

For a few minutes, things were quite peaceful, the only sounds being Inu-Yasha’s heavy breathing and the slight rustling of the newspaper as Kagome turned the page.  However, after a while Kagome noticed that Inu-Yasha’s breathing wasn’t quite so deep and he was starting to shift in his sleep, two signs that meant consciousness was on the way.  With a light sigh, she stood and went over to the coffee maker, starting the daily process of fixing his morning beverage.  She had hardly been working for a minute when a rough voice spoke up and broke the quiet, making her start in surprise.

“You shouldn’t be drinkin’ coffee when you’re sick,” came Inu-Yasha’s reprimanding voice, thick with sleep.  “It messes up the medicine.”

Giving herself a moment to recover from her surprise by pouring the rest of the water into the back of the maker and pushing the button to turn it on, Kagome turned around to smile at him; she had to hold back laughter, for his expression was rather amusing.  He was trying hard to glare sternly at her, but with his tousled hair and puffy red eyes, the effect was lost.

“It’s not for me, it’s for you,” she replied, going back to the table to sit down while the coffee brewed.  “Besides, I haven’t taken my medicine yet today.”

He blinked sleepily at her, then slowly started to stand.  “I’ll get it for you…” he mumbled, but was stopped when Kagome put her hand over his.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said gently.  “I wanted to eat some breakfast before I took anymore medicine.  I haven’t eaten in two days, you know.”

He still didn’t sit down right away, blearily studying her as she spoke.  “… I can make breakfast…” he finally offered once he processed her words.  “You go lie down on the couch and I’ll make somethin’…”

Holding back a chuckle, she tugged lightly on the sleeve of his T-shirt and he sat back down with a thump, looking a little surprised.  “That’s very sweet of you, Inu-Yasha, but I’m feeling much better today.  See?  I even got up and got dressed.”  She sat back so he could see her sweater, which he stared blankly at for a moment before nodding slowly.  “So don’t worry about anything.  You’ve done your part, and now it’s time for me to take care of you.”  She stood and went over to a cabinet to pull out a glass and fill it with water.

“Take care of… oh.”  As he started to puzzle out her last comment, his eyes came to rest on the half-empty whiskey bottle sitting a few inches away on the table, and realization clicked in his gaze.  Glancing down at the table, he finally noticed the pillow sitting directly in front of him, and he slowly reached behind himself and pulled out the blanket that had long since fallen off his shoulders.

Handing him the water, Kagome saw his expression darken, chasing away the haziness of sleep from his features.  “Hey…” she said softly, gaining his attention from the glare he was giving his bedding.  “Don’t worry about it.  You did the best you could, and I’m very touched by that.  Look how much better I’m feeling today, see?  You did an excellent job taking care of me, and I don’t think you should be beating yourself up over last night.”

He frowned, clearly not pleased with the situation.  “…But—“

“Uh-uh,” she quickly interrupted, effectively cutting him off.  “It’s over.  You did a wonderful job taking care of me, and now that I’m back on my feet, we can pick up where we left off.  End of discussion.”  Despite her brusque tone, she smiled encouragingly at him, and he sighed, knowing this was a fight he had been doomed to lose from the start.

“Whatever…” he finally muttered, grasping the glass of water and drinking it dry.  He still didn’t agree with her, for he felt that he had failed by caving in to his desire to drink the night before, but it would be no use arguing with her.  She could be as stubborn as himself when it came to arguments.

Once the glass of water was empty and his headache had receded a bit as he hydrated himself, he carefully got to his feet and screwed the cap back on the whiskey bottle, carrying it over to his self-designated liquor cabinet.  Pulling open the door, he was greeted by the sight of three more bottles, and he realized he must have decided to restock when he had gone to the convenience store the night prior.  He couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh in relief; he had felt very unsettled ever since the gala knowing there was a lack of his drink in the apartment, but he never wanted Kagome to know how much that irked him.  Still, he was angry with himself for being relieved in the first place, and with a sullen growl he set the opened bottle with the others and slammed the cabinet shut.

Kagome quickly looked up from the mug of steaming hot coffee she had been pouring, looking a bit startled.  “Inu-Yasha?  Are you all right?”

“Hmph.”  He went back to the table and flopped down in his chair, unable to keep a scowl from marring his features.  However, when Kagome came over with his cup of coffee and a concerned look on her face, he sighed and tried to change the subject.  “Are you really feeling better?” he asked, his tone softer than she had expected.

Grinning in an effort to cheer him up, she said brightly, “Well, under your watchful eye, I think it would be hard for me not to feel better!  You really did to an excellent job; I couldn’t have asked for a better caretaker.”

He grunted in disbelief.  “You could’ve asked for one that isn’t a drunk,” he mumbled, nudging the empty tumbler still on the table with his finger.

All the joy she had tried to exude for him seemed to dissipate at his comment, and she silently sank down on the chair next to him, her brow pinched with worry.  “Inu-Yasha…  You can’t keep beating yourself up over this,” she said quietly, fiddling with a corner of the newspaper.  “You took care of me as best you could.  You did all you could.  The fact that you were unable to make it the entire time without drinking is of no matter.”

“It does so matter,” he snarled back, his claws scraping against the table top.  “This is just like I said before, Kagome!  How can I take care of you when I’m drunk?  Hell, even when I’m sober, all I’m thinkin’ about is where my next drink is coming from, so how can I take care of you if that’s all I’m worried about?”

She looked up his red eyes, which were glaring holes into his coffee mug.  “That wasn’t all you were worried about, though,” she replied.  “You were concerned about me.  I could tell.”

He sighed deeply, never denying the comment.  “The point is, I need to quit, Kagome.  But I still can’t figure out why you won’t help me.  I asked Miroku, and he said I should focus on figuring out what ‘the right reason’ is, but…”  He moaned and rested his head in his hands, clearly frustrated.  “…I have no idea.”

Kagome remained silent, sitting back in her chair and studying the demon closely.  They sat, utterly quiet for several moments, until Inu-Yasha finally grew uncomfortable under her gaze and snarled, “What?!”

A smile broke her features as she crossed her arms, looking quite pleased with herself.  “Well, I can’t help you quit drinking yet, Inu-Yasha.  But I don’t see why I can’t help you figure out the right reason to quit drinking.  So clear your schedule tonight, because we’re going out.”

“Clear my…  what the hell do you mean, ‘we’re going out’?”  Inu-Yasha looked slightly alarmed at her expression, but she simply laughed in response.

“Drink your coffee before it gets cold, and leave the worrying to me.  You’ll see what I mean this evening.”

He stared in disbelief as she picked up the tumbler and took it over to the sink to wash it out, humming merrily now that she had come up with a plan.  “…But I do worry…”

oOoOoOoOoOo

“This is supposed to help me?” Inu-Yasha growled, peering out the window of Kagome’s car as she pulled into a parking space by the curb.  “A department store?”

Yawning one final time, for she had opted to take a nap before the departed on their nighttime adventure, she smiled brightly at him from behind a thick, ivory scarf.  “Yes it is.  Now come along, let’s not lollygag in the car, we have shopping to do!” 

“Shopping?” he repeated incredulously, climbing out of the car only so he could continue to argue with his nurse, who he was beginning to think had gone insane.  “How the hell—“  He abruptly stopped speaking when she put a fuzzy mitten to his lips.

Giving him a stern look that was betrayed by the excitement in her eyes, which were to Inu-Yasha’s relief the same vibrant blue he had come to like, she said, “You need to stop being so grouchy all the time.  We are here tonight to enjoy ourselves and have fun.  All right?”

He nodded, silent behind the mitten until she finally removed it.  Then he said weakly, “…A department store?  Surely you know by now that a department store is not my idea of fun…”

Grasping his hand, she dragged him into the store, undeterred by his lack of joy.  “I have no idea what your idea of fun is, since you seem determined not to have it,” she replied cheerfully, letting out a sigh of relief once they were inside the heated building.  The December air outside was particularly cold and vicious and, despite her mild protests she had put up when Inu-Yasha made her wear three layers of clothing underneath her coat since she was just getting over being sick, she had been glad to have them, and the warmth of the store was even more welcome.

With a heavy sigh of defeat, Inu-Yasha helped her remove her coat, hat, scarf, and mittens, depositing them in the bottom of their cart once Kagome retrieved one.  “…Do we have anything specific we’re looking for?” he asked grudgingly, and Kagome grinned , pleased to see he wasn’t going to argue with her anymore.

“Yes,” she replied, going over to study the map of erected in the middle of the entryway.  “We’re looking for the bedding area.  All right, to the back corner!”

Inu-Yasha trudged along behind her, slowly pushing the cart.  Much as he hated to admit it, he almost enjoyed being here.  As much as he had enjoyed caring for her while she was sick, not that he would ever tell her that, it was good to see her so lively again, and he was relieved to see her back on her feet.  So, keeping that in mind, he decided it wouldn’t be so bad to put up with being out of the apartment for awhile.

As the minutes ticked by, not as slowly as he had expected them to, he followed Kagome slowly around the store, stopping every two feet along the way to the bedding section so she could pick up every cute knick-knack sitting on every end cap of every aisle they passed.  She would cry out, grab something off the shelf, hold it out to him, and he would nod in disinterest while she chattered away about it, oblivious to his lack of excitement, until at last she returned it to its spot on the shelf and they could move on to the next aisle, where something else could grab her attention.

At last they made it to the bedding area, where Inu-Yasha suddenly found himself challenged.  Not only did Kagome pick up almost every pillow, blanket, or bedding set in the aisles, but she now was asking him his opinion, and he had to quickly think up answers other than, “Whatever,” or, “I don’t care.”

“Look, Kagome…” he grunted after almost fifteen minutes of this.  “What exactly are you looking for?  I can’t keep this up all night long…”

“Sorry…” she said, pulling her hand away from yet another pillow she was going to lift off the shelf.  “I want to buy a whole new bed set.  New sheets, new blankets, new pillows…  All of it.  And I just want to make sure I’m getting the right thing.  That’s where you come in.  I need a second pair of eyes.”

Rubbing his eyes, which were already itchy from tiredness from staring off into space for so long, he said slowly, “All right then, here’s what you’re gonna do.  You are going to pick out your three favorite sets, while I go sit in that armchair—“ he waved off to the right where an overstuffed chair in the furniture section had been calling to him for the past several minutes, “—and then you bring them back to me and I’ll tell you which one I like best, how does that sound?”  Her bright smile told him all he needed to know, so he went over to the chair and sank down in relief while she disappeared down an aisle.

She took so long that he had slowly started to doze off, for it was almost midnight, but that was when she popped out of an aisle and walked toward him, carrying three comforter sets in her arms.  Blinking rapidly, he sat up and stared expectantly at her as she dropped the three packages in front of him.

“All right,” she began, holding up the first set and displaying it like a girl on a game show.  “We have set number one, a double-sided red and black number.  Stark, dark, beautiful.  Next…”  She set down the first set and picked up the next one.  “We have set number two, a delightful blend of browns, creating a neutral environment that will go with anything.  And finally…” 

Inu-Yasha was doing his best to hold back a grin at her silly display, but he could tell from the tugging at his lips that he was unsuccessful.  Kagome smiled back at him, clearly pleased to finally shake him out of his slump.

“Finally, we have this dark-brown and deep red striped display.  Lovely colors, and if I may say, damn comfortable to lay on as well.”  Setting it back down on the floor so he could observe all three at once, she asked, “So, what do you think?  One, two, or three?”

With a sigh, he leaned forward and peered closely at all of them before honestly answering, “Three.  Definitely.”

Her smile growing ever broader, she nodded dropped the red and brown set into the cart.  “Three it is.  I’ll just put these other two back and get the rest of the blankets and sheets to match it, and we can move on.”

Inu-Yasha, deciding he had sat around long enough, made to join her, and soon their cart was full with all the accessories to go with the set.  “Jeez…” he said as Kagome stuck one last blanket on top of the pile before they headed to another section.  “What the hell do you need all this stuff for?  Don’t you have pillows and stuff at your house?”

“I do,” Kagome replied, gently tugging the cart in the direction she wanted to go.  “But this isn’t for me, it’s for you.  I hope you don’t mind that I didn’t let you pick it out on your own, but I figured you wouldn’t have a clue of where to begin.”

“I—what, wait, it’s for me?”  The cart abruptly stopped and Kagome was jerked back from her tight grip on the side of it.

Frowning a little at the sudden stop, she looked up to see Inu-Yasha staring at her, a mixture of worry and anger on his face.  “Um, yes, it’s for you,” she said, a little hesitant at his expression.  “Believe me, you will not regret this.  A new comforter set is just the thing you need.  Every time you go to bed, you’ll be so nice and warm with—“

“Absolutely not,” he growled, interrupting her.  “We are putting this all back.  I am not getting any of this.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Kagome replied airily, waving a hand.  “This one is on me.  Think of it as an early Christmas present.”

“It’s not the money I’m worried about,” he doggedly insisted.  “I’m just not getting this.  Period.”

Crossing her arms, she gave him a look that effectively chastised him.  “Look.  All the blankets and sheets you have a your apartment are thin, threadbare, stained, and full of holes.  It’s a wonder you haven’t caught your death of cold under such conditions in this weather.  As your nurse, I will not allow such a thing to continue on any longer.  I am getting you these blankets.  Period.”

A furious snarl pulling at his lip, he suddenly released his grip on the cart and turned away, his hands fisting at his sides.  For a few moments, Kagome was certain that he was about to leave the store, but eventually he turned around, his temper under control once again.  “You push…” he muttered softly, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

Nodding, Kagome stepped up and grasped the cart handle, deciding it would be best not to talk about it anymore until it was time to pay for it all.  He was reacting very strangely to her display of kindness, but she had been expecting such a reaction from him, and was simply biding her time until it was proper to talk about his anger.

“Come on…” she said quietly.  “Let’s go look at clothes.”  With a grim nod, he followed after her, any trace of his good mood gone.

It took them only a couple minutes to find the clothes section, and once they did, Kagome slowly spoke up, “…Let’s head to the men’s area.”  Inu-Yasha immediately tensed next to her, but his jaw seemed to be locked shut, for he refused to speak.  Robotically, he followed her over to the racks of men’s clothes and stood perfectly still as she held up shirt after shirt to his chest, trying in vain to ask his opinion but receiving nothing in reply.

Finally, after  seven minutes of what apparently was absolute torture, judging by Inu-Yasha’s expression, Kagome surveyed the pile of clothes that had amassed on top of the bedding already in the cart.  “Okay… Three pairs of jeans, five plain t-shirts, two pairs of dress slacks, and three dress shirts.  A whole new wardrobe, and all on sale.”  She tried to smile up at him, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort.  “What do you think?  Do you like all of them?”

Honestly, she hadn’t been expecting an answer, judging from the silent treatment he had been giving her, so it came as a complete surprise when he suddenly burst out, “No!!”

Starting at his furious tone, she took a step back, very confused.  “U-um, okay, which ones don’t you like?  We can find new ones—“

“No, no, no!!  We are not doing this, Kagome!” he growled, tossing the shirts that she had asked him to hold on the ground.  “We are not buying any of this stuff!  It’s wasteful and frivolous!  Who the hell said I needed any of it?!  Who the hell said I wanted any of it?!  Well let me tell you something--I don’t want it, I don’t need it, I don’t—“  He stopped suddenly, his expression working furiously.

Kagome stared levelly at him, realizing what was going on.  “You don’t what?” she asked softly, even though she already knew the answer.

He stared wild-eyed at her, his body stiff and tense, a muscle throbbing in his temple.  He was enraged, but knew that he couldn’t take it out on her.  Abruptly turning on his heel, he choked out, “I need a smoke,” and stormed outside, leaving Kagome standing alone with a pile of clothes at her feet.

Silence seemed to ring in her ears until a sales associate hesitantly approached her, looking a little anxious.  “…Ma’am?” she asked.  “Is everything all right?”

Shaking her head and sighing, Kagome bent down and picked up the wad of clothes.  “No, miss, but I’m working on it.”  Handing off the clothes, she smiled apologetically.  “I’m sorry about the mess, but I need to go check on him.  Do you mind taking these?  We’ll be back in for the cart in a few minutes, don’t worry.”  Then she quickly grabbed her coat and walked off, the baffled associate looking after her as though she were insane, following after such an angry demon.

It was easy enough to Kagome to find Inu-Yasha, for he hadn’t gone far; he was seated on a bench just outside of the store, slumped over with a cigarette clenched between his teeth.  He twitched slightly and turned his head away when she gingerly sat down next to him, but remained silent.

Kagome kept quiet for a moment as well, still adjusting her hat and mittens.  As she slowly wrapped her scarf around her neck, she watched as a car drove past every so often, its headlights shining brightly against the dark of night.

“…I know why you’re so upset, Inu-Yasha,” she finally began, her voice slightly muffled by her scarf.  “But I’m wondering if you know.”

“Hmph.  How the hell do you know why I’m mad?” he snapped in reply, blowing out a cloud of smoke.

Kagome paused before answering, holding back an exasperated sigh.  “I was with you on the roof at the gala.  I haven’t forgotten what you said to me.  Don’t take me for a simpleton, Inu-Yasha.”  She fixed him with a piercing stare, which made him shift uncomfortably on the bench.

“You’re upset because you don’t feel you deserve new bedding, or blankets, or clothes, right?  It’s so obvious.  I wondered for a long time why your apartment was full of such old, threadbare blankets , or why you always wore the same stained t-shirts over and over, or why you put up with sleeping on sheets that were so full of holes.  But after you told me your reason for drinking on the roof at the gala, everything made sense.  This was just another way to punish yourself for what you did to Kikyo.  Am I right?”

Inu-Yasha bowed his head, not daring to look at her.  Silence reigned once again as Kagome allowed what she said to sink in.  Finally, he spoke up, his voice nowhere near as harsh as it had been earlier.  “I never did it intentionally…  But every time I went out to get a new pair of shoes, or replace an old shirt…  it just didn’t feel right, buying such nice things for me, not after what I had done.  I just couldn’t bring myself to go through with it…”

Kagome sighed softly, relieved to see that he was at least going to talk.  Sliding closer to him on the bench, she carefully took hold of his clawed hand in her mitten, giving it a reassuring squeeze.  “Look, Inu-Yasha, I said I was going to help you figure out the right reason to quit drinking, right?”  He nodded slowly in agreement.  “Well then, here is what I have to say: you can’t live forever with five thin blankets, three stained white t-shirts, and holey sheets.  Now, I don’t have a problem with buying you all this stuff—in fact, I’m happy to do it.  But eventually, you’re going to have to deem yourself worthy enough to buy new ones.  You have the opportunity to do that right now.”  Releasing her grip on his hand, she stood, straightening her coat.  “I’m going to go inside.  You don’t have to make a decision immediately.  But when you do, I will be inside, and whatever choice you make I will abide by, all right?”

As she started to walk away, she made her way around the bench so she could whisper in his ear, “But just between you and me, I really hope you decide to at least get some new blankets.  Your apartment is freezing and the blankets you have now don’t help much.  Trust me, I spent two days under them.”  She smiled playfully when he looked forlornly over his shoulder to stare at her, and then she turned around and strode back inside, leaving him alone to think.

Once inside the department store, she sighed, slowly beginning to shed the outerwear she had so hurriedly donned in the first place to catch up with the demon.   She couldn’t help but marvel at how deep in his self-loathing he had gone, to the point where he couldn’t even buy necessities for himself.  It pained her to see him struggle with such a simple thing, but she knew she couldn’t force him to do anything.  He had to make the decision on his own, and now all she could do was wait.

Wandering back to the clothes section where she had abruptly left their cart, she took it and started to browse in the women’s section, not really interested but knowing that she had to be patient for Inu-Yasha to make his choice. 

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity later, Kagome slowly turned around to see if there was some shirt hanging on a rack behind her that she might possibly missed and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Inu-Yasha, standing there with an unreadable expression.

Choking back a shout of surprise, she asked slowly, “Well?  What do you think?”

For a moment, he remained silent.  Then he opened his mouth and said in a shaky voice, “Let’s go to the check-out.”

She couldn’t contain her joy at those words.  “Really?” she asked softly, a smile stretching across her face.

He nodded slowly, swallowing hard.  “I figured…  If you were willing to get all this for me, then it must be the right thing to do.”

Unable to stop herself, she flung her arms around him, nearly knocking him back when she caught him off-guard.  “Oh, Inu-Yasha, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that…”

“I think I do…” he grumbled, trying to sound displeased at almost being knocked over, but when she felt herself being wrapped in his warm embrace, she knew he wasn’t angry.

After a few seconds, he quickly pulled away from her, his cheeks burning a bright red.  “Come on,” he grunted, stepping up and grabbing the cart.  “Let’s pay for this stuff and go home, it’s late.”

“Hey, you should be thanking me for it being so late,” Kagome said in mock-defense, walking beside him with her hands behind her back.  “Or would you rather have had your therapy session in front of dozens of customers?”

“Is that what you’re calling this?  A therapy session?  I thought you were a nurse.”

She laughed lightly.  “Well, I am, but you need a lot more help than what just a nurse can offer, my friend.  I’ve had to expand my talents to other fields.”

The red going all the way to the tips of his ears, he mumbled, “You’re not just a nurse…  But I’m glad you’re around to help me.  Real glad.”

Kagome looked over at him in surprise, nearly laughing at the tomato red color of his face.  Her smile growing ever wider, she kept silent, but moved closer to him and took his arm in her own, and together they walked up to the register.

oOoOoOoOoOo

While Kagome was aiding Inu-Yasha with in his inner demons, on the other end of town at the Order’s headquarters, Sango was helping Miroku with one of the city’s real demons.

“They’re good,” she said sternly, having just checked the reinforced steel manacles that bound the pot-bellied ogre to a metal chair in the middle of an empty room.  The ogre let out a low groan as the treated metal hissed against its skin, not burning it, but certainly causing a good amount of discomfort.

“Painful, isn’t it?” Miroku asked, leaning on his staff in front of the ogre, the very staff that had knocked it out and allowed it to be dragged here in the first place.  “We can make it worse if you don’t tell us the information we need to know.”

“I-I don’t got information…” the ogre ground out, constantly shifting as the manacles sizzled and hissed.  “I know nothin’!”

“Oh really?  Then how do you explain the fact that all of your companions seemed to know something about this superdemon, and you do not?” Sango asked, stepping into the light and making certain it gleamed brightly off her shining Hiraikotsu hanging off her belt.  “Are you just that unimportant?”

Despite the burn of it bonds, the ogre fixed his piggy eyes on her, hatred in its gaze.  “I important,” he growled, flexing his fists as though he wished to punch her.  “I second in command of tribe!”

“Well then, if you’re second in command, you must know the information that the rest of your group knows.  Unless you’re just a poor leader.”  Miroku stared evenly back when the ogre turned its gaze on him, hardly disturbed.

“I know more than rest of tribe!” he snarled, struggling against the manacles.  “I good leader!  I know information!”

Miroku smirked.  “That’s what I thought.  Then you’ll be willing to tell us who was behind the massive outbreak yesterday?”

The ogre abruptly shut its mouth, realizing it had been tricked.  He stared blankly at Miroku, not saying a word.

“Ah.  Look, Sango, this creature knows the power of silence.  Fortunately, I can work with that.”  Taking two steps forward so that he was enveloped in the rays from the single light hanging above the ogre’s chair.  Pulling something out of his pocket, he crouched down in front of the ogre and held up a slip of paper with complicated scribbles of ink.  “Do you know what this is?”  He received no reply from the ogre, but that was expected.  Holding the paper up close to the ogres snout, he went on.

“This is a sutra, imbued with spiritual powers and made specifically for purifying vermin such as yourself.  This sutra is so potent, so saturated with holy aura that it’s mere touch—“ he brought it dangerously close to the ogre’s nose that it couldn’t help but flinch away, “—would blast you from existence.  Now, if you don’t want me to slap this down on your forehead and send you blasting away into oblivion, you will answer my question: who was behind the outbreak yesterday?”

The ogre’s eyes were fixed on the sutra, mere centimeters from its nose.  Sweat dripped down its face as the seconds ticked on in silence, until at last Miroku stood and brought his hand up, ready to send the paper down onto the ogre’s forehead.   “Oblivion it is, then!”

“Wait!  It was woman!  Demon-witch, controls wind!  She say big power comes!  We join, we get big power!  Lots of demons go with!”

“What is this big power the wind-witch spoke of?” Miroku asked, keeping the sutra poised to come down, a fact the ogre was all-too-aware of.

“A demon!  A leader, who bring power to all demons in city!  We help, we get to have city!  That all witch say!”  The ogre looked so pathetic and pitiful that Miroku knew it was all the information it had.  Fixing the ogre with a glare, he slowly lowered the sutra and stuck it back in his pocket.

“Come on, Sango.  We’re finished here.”  Together they strode out of the room, and it was only once the heavy iron door was bolted shut behind did Miroku slump against the wall, looking relieved to be out of there.  “God, I hate doing interrogation…” he said, clearly exhausted.

“But you did good…” Sango said distractedly, thinking hard.  “We got information we needed to know.  That ogre knew a lot more than the rest of his tribe, that’s for certain.”

“But this doesn’t bode well, Sango, didn’t you realize what he said?  ‘A big power to all the demons in the city’?  They get to ‘have the city’?  It seems that history wants to repeat itself.  This will be just like the battle with Naraku… Only worse…”

Sango moaned, stepping forward and resting her head on Miroku’s shoulder.  “I guess it’s time to accept the inevitable…” she said, despair evident in her voice.  “We really do have another war on our hands.”

Wrapping her in a hug, Miroku rested his chin on her head, finding it difficult to offer her comfort when he was so distraught himself.  He said nothing in reply—there was nothing he could say.

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Thank you for reading!  Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

Thank you to you who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 28: And So It Begins…

“Right now?  All right, let me see if I can get him up, and we’ll be over there as soon as possible.”  Placing the phone back in its cradle, Kagome shrugged out of her coat and hat before going down the hallway to the bedroom; she had just set foot inside Inu-Yasha’s apartment when the phone started to ring, and didn’t even have the chance to remove her outerwear before picking up.  Once out of her coat, she rubbed her hands together, chilled by the air in the apartment, then knocked softly on the door to his bedroom.

“Inu-Yasha?   Are you awake?”  She waited a moment, but heard nothing coming from the room, so she carefully pushed open the door and walked in.

She felt a smile tugging at her lips when she saw the lump on the bed, covered entirely by the new comforter so that only his ears were poking out.  He had sunk deep into the pillows, clearly pleased with how thick and fluffy they were compared to his old ones, and there was absolutely no sign that he had heard her at all.  So, in order to wake him from what was certainly a most pleasant slumber, Kagome carefully crawled onto the bed next to him and gave the lump a gentle nudge.

“Inu-Yasha…  It’s morning…” she said playfully, poking the mound of blankets until at last they moved.  It took a couple moments, but finally Inu-Yasha’s head emerged and he peered around sleepily in search of the person who disturbed him.  Upon seeing that it was Kagome,  he grunted in a way that almost sounded like “Good morning,” and then pulled the blankets back up and nuzzled into the pillows once again.

Kagome’s smile grew as she carefully pulled the comforter away, much to his displeasure.  “I see you’re enjoying your new stuff, huh?” she asked.  “Aren’t you glad you ended up getting it?”

Letting out a soft growl, for he knew that he was going to get no more sleep this morning, Inu-Yasha slowly rolled over so he could peer at her properly.   “Hmph.  You’re just a damned pushy woman, is all.”

“And it’s because of my cunning that you took the set home with you.  So how about it?  Did you sleep well?”

Inu-Yasha paused for a moment to make an assessment; truth be told, he has slept so deeply that he had not even dreamed, and to achieve such a feat without being drunk as a lord was almost an impossibility in his life.  So, looking back up at her with a rather surprised expression, he said slowly, “I slept… great.”

Kagome seemed to be quite pleased by his statement.  “I’m so glad.  Now, how are you feeling?  Do you need me to make you my world-famous hangover cure?”

He raised an eyebrow at her.  “You mean water mixed with baking soda?”

Shrugging, she replied, “Just because it’s world-famous doesn’t mean it has to be complex.  But, do you need me to make any?”

A yawn interrupting his answer, he finally said, “No, I only had one drink before I went to bed.  It was so late when we got back, anyway…”

Despite how nonchalant the question posed to him had been, Kagome had actually been quite anxious to hear his answer.  She had been concerned that he might have been so distraught after buying so many things for himself the night before  that he had gone home and crawled into a whiskey bottle to ease the guilt.  She didn’t dare to hope that was not the case, even after she noticed how easy it was for him to awaken that morning, but his reply chased away all her fears, and she couldn’t help but be overjoyed.  He had just taken a major step in his healing process.

Inu-Yasha, completely unaware of her feelings at the moment, broke into her thoughts when he complained, “What are you getting me up so early for, anyway?  It’s not even eight o’ clock yet; I was sound asleep!”

Shaking her head, for he could be awfully childish at times, Kagome replied, “I got a call from Sango when I got here.  She wants us to stop by headquarters as soon as possible.”

“Hmph.”  Rolling back onto his side and pulling the covers up once again, he mumbled back, “In that case, tell her I got real trashed last night and am still sleeping it off; that’ll buy me a few more hours’ sleep…”

With a frown, Kagome silently climbed off the bed and walked around to the foot of it.  Then, gripping the end of the comforter, she gave it a sharp yank and pulled it to the floor, making Inu-Yasha yelp as the frigid cold of the apartment nipped at any exposed skin.

“Now Inu-Yasha…” she said sweetly as he sat up to glare at her, shivering in his t-shirt and boxers.  “Let’s not use your bad habit as an excuse, shall we?  If you’re not out of bed, showered, dressed, and waiting by the front door in half an hour, I’m going to return your new comforter set, got it?”

Meeting her steely gaze with one of his own, Inu-Yasha finally rolled his eyes and slid off the bed, shuffling past her into the bathroom.  “Damn pushy woman…” he muttered again, and she smiled serenely at him in return.

oOoOoOoOoOo

“Good morning, Rin!” Kagome said brightly as they strode into the Order’s headquarters.

“Good morning Miss Higurashi, Inu-Yasha,” Rin replied, looking up from her computer to greet them.  “Sango and Miroku are—oh.  You look very nice today, Inu-Yasha.”

“U-um…  Okay.”  Inu-Yasha glanced down at his outfit, then back up to Kagome with a look of confusion.

“Anyway,” Rin continued, not noticing Inu-Yasha’s reaction, “You can go on up; Sango and Miroku are waiting for you.”

“Thank you.”  Kagome led the way over to the elevator and stepped inside, holding it open for Inu-Yasha, who was still staring at his clothes in puzzlement.

“What… what the hell did she mean by that?” he grumbled once the doors slid shut and the elevator shuddered into motion.  “I ain’t wearing anything special…”

“You’re wearing new clothes, Inu-Yasha.  People will notice.”  Kagome smiled at his behavior; he clearly didn’t know how to react to such a compliment.  And, personally, she had to agree with Rin.  After so many weeks of seeing nothing but stained t-shirts and ripped sweatpants, he did look so much nicer in dark jeans and a brand new shirt.  “I certainly have noticed.”

“Hmph.”  He scowled at her.  “Well, you’re the one who picked the damn things out, of course you noticed!”

Kagome rolled her eyes and looked away with a sigh.  “Men…”

“Hey, what do you mean by that?”

The elevator deposited them, still bickering, on the top floor, and together they walked over to the door to Sango and Miroku’s office.  

“Are you implying that, since I’m a guy, I don’t understand the importance you women place on clothes?  Because if that’s what you mean, then you’re exactly right; you women always take so damn long to get ready for things, and it wastes so much time!  Why can’t you just be ready in a few minutes?  What could possibly take so long?”

“Hey, wasn’t it you who was still getting ready for the gala by the time I arrived at your apartment, and I ended up having to help you finish up?”

“Well, I didn’t get started as early as you!  You said you had started getting ready that afternoon—what’s up with that?!  How can it actually take hours to get ready for something?  Did you have to sew the clothes together yourself?”

“Hey, the point is, you were still not ready by the time I got there, so isn’t that still a waste of time?  At least I was efficient and got started early enough that I would be prepared for—“

“Enough.”  Sango’s harsh voice cut through their conversation, effectively silencing Kagome mid-sentence.  “You two are arguing loud enough to wake the dead.”

Inu-Yasha grunted apathetically and looked away while a light blush stained Kagome’s cheeks.  “Sorry.  We didn’t mean to disturb you…”

“Never mind, never mind.”  Sango waved a hand, clearly not in the mood.  “Inu-Yasha, we need to see you inside.  Kagome, if you wouldn’t mind to wait elsewhere for him…?”

“Oh! Um, of course.”  A little surprised, for she had been under the impression that they had wanted both her and Inu-Yasha for the meeting, Kagome nodded and took a step back.  “I guess I’ll… go downstairs and chat with Rin for a while.  Come and find me when you’re finished, all right, Inu-Yasha?”

“Hmph.  Fine.”

Once Kagome was hidden behind the elevator doors, Sango turned and led Inu-Yasha into their office.  Right away, he could feel how stressed and tense the air was, and the good mood that he had gradually acquired over the course of his morning with Kagome seeped out of him, much to his dismay.  He could already tell that whatever Sango and Miroku wanted him for was not going to be good.

Easing onto the couch that faced their desks, he sat on the very edge, very uncomfortable as he saw the expression on Miroku’s face.  This concerned him—Miroku had always been the more optimistic of the two, and to see him so stern meant nothing good was about to happen.

“What is going on?” he finally growled, fixing them both with a fierce glare.

Miroku sighed, setting down his pen and rubbing his face tiredly; judging from the looks of him, he had pulled another overnight shift or two.  “Well, Inu-Yasha, we have received some bad news.  After a lot of investigation and a bit of interrogation we have finally found solid proof.”

“Solid proof for what?”

Sango glanced over at Miroku before resting her tired brown eyes on Inu-Yasha.  “War.”

Inu-Yasha slowly reclined on the sofa, surprised at how taken aback he was by the news.  They had been expecting it for some time, and many events, such as the massive demon outbreak two days prior, were signs that such a thing was inevitable.  But to actually hear confirmation of it caught him off-guard.

“…War?” he repeated softly.  “Another one?”

“Yes…” Miroku said, resting his head in his hand.  “Interrogation of an ogre confirmed it.  He said that all of the minor demons were offered part of a ‘big power’—his words—if they were to join this wind-witch that started the entire thing.  However, the wind-witch is not the monstrous demon gaining power below the city; she is merely the messenger for it, or so things appear to be.”

He waited a moment for Inu-Yasha to say something, but the half-demon seemed to be past speech at the moment.  Sango decided to take over.

“A monster gaining strength, beginning to build forces against us…  No doubt this creature, once all the demons in the city are under its control, will attempt to persuade our own members to switch sides.  All of us are vulnerable.  Do you understand how we’ve come to this conclusion, Inu-Yasha?”

Staring blankly at the floor, he remained silent for a moment, his claws tearing into the fabric of the sofa cushions as he gripped them.  “It’s…  just like before…” he finally murmured.  “Just like with…”  His voice became so soft that he was hardly able to choke the name out.  “…Naraku…”

“But!” Sango said suddenly in a sharp voice, making him start in surprise.  “We know that it’s not Naraku, thanks to you.  He is dead, and of that we are certain.  So there is no need to worry about him.  At all.”  Her emphasis on the last two words caused Inu-Yasha to blink, breaking out of his daze, and flick his gaze over to her, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“I know that…” he growled, anger slowly beginning to seep into his voice.  “Why do you feel the need to point that out?  Did you think I had forgotten?”

“Hmph.  Not hardly.”  Sango sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest, trying to appear nonchalant despite the obvious stress she was under.    “We just wanted to make it very clear to you that this new threat is not Naraku.”

His gaze turned into a steady glare.  “Meaning what...?”

Miroku anxiously cleared his throat, casting Sango a glance that told her he was going to step in.  “Meaning that the same thing that happened with Naraku is not going to happen with this new demon.  So you don’t have to worry about… well, you know.”

“What?” Inu-Yasha sneered sarcastically, climbing to his feet so he could tower over his two seated superiors.  “So I don’t have to worry about having to kill one of you for switching sides?  Or perhaps Kagome for going over?  Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Well…yes…”  Miroku seemed to turn pale as Inu-Yasha strode slowly over to stand in front of his desk, staring fiercely down at him with his molten amber eyes.

Leaning over and shoving his face right into Miroku’s, Inu-Yasha asked in a voice that was dangerously soft, “And just why would you feel the need to remind me of this?”

“S-so… So you would not feel any qualms to assist us in our fight to protect the city,” Miroku shakily replied, clearly trying to keep himself together.

Inu-Yasha snapped at the comment.  Jerking his head around to Sango with a snarl of fury at his lips, he was at her desk in a moment, his claws gouging eight deep holes in her desk and the papers adorning it.  She had long ago stood up to prevent him the opportunity of towering over her, but even without that power he was terrifying enough, and she found it difficult to keep her knees from knocking together.

“You…” he rumbled, seething with anger.  “I thought I made my position in this whole damn thing perfectly clear.  I don’t care what you say to me, I don’t care what you do to me, I don’t care what you pay me—I am not going to fight in this war.”

“I understand that this must be difficult news for you to hear, Inu-Yasha,” she replied, her voice high from fear.  “But I think you would be doing this city a disservice, not protecting it.”

“Like I give a damn,” he barked back, sending the papers on her desk flying with one sweep of his arm.  “This god-forsaken city has had eight years since the last attack to figure out how to defend itself properly, and depending on me sure as hell ain’t the right answer.  Find some other fool to be your go-to guy, because I am not doing it again.”

“Inu-Yasha, you need to think this through…” Miroku added shakily, getting up and going over to lend Sango some support.  “Do you know how many people are going to look to you once word of this gets out?  We cannot let this city’s morale become so low if they see their savior backing down from this fight.  Should that happen, then this superdemon would easily be able to take control of the city, and we wouldn’t stand a chance.  Do you want to have that on your conscience, Inu-Yasha?”

Inu-Yasha gaped at  him in a furious disbelief, his body as tense and stiff as stone.  “…How dare you…” he whispered, his chest so constricted with rage that he could hardly speak.  “You’re blaming the entire downfall of the city on me?  Where the hell do you get off?!  Who was it who obliterated Naraku?  Who was it who had to kill his own fiancé to do that?  Who was it who gave up his whole goddamned life so that you and your precious city could survive?!  ME, that’s who!  How much more are you planning to take away from me with this next battle, huh?!  What else do I have that you could possibly take?!  Nothing!!”

His voice had escalated to the point that Sango and Miroku were flinching with every sentence he spat out, so when he suddenly stopped speaking, the silence seemed to ring in their ears, broken only by Inu-Yasha’s panting breaths.

“Let me make one thing perfectly clear…” he whispered, his tone deadly quiet.  “I will have nothing to do with this war.  Do not ask me to fight a demon, do not ask me to take an assignment for it.  I cannot, and will not do this.  Now go find some other sap to pin your hopes and dreams to, you bastards.”  With that, he abruptly stormed out of their office, slamming the door shut so hard that the glass window in it shattered from the force.

Kagome, who had been having quite the pleasant conversation with the very chatty Rin down at the receptionist’s desk, was taken quite by surprise when the enraged half-demon suddenly bounded down the stairs and flew past her, knocking her purse off her shoulder and blowing her hair into her face as he passed.

“I—what—Inu-Yasha?” she called weakly after him, but he was already gone, out the door and making a leap onto the rooftop of a building across the street.  Looking back at the receptionist, she asked, “Do you know what that meeting was about?”

Rin, who was just as surprised as she by the demon’s sudden appearance, shook her head, looking out the doorway where he had left.

Frowning, for there had been an unmistakable sense of urgency in Inu-Yasha’s rush, Kagome tugged her keys out of her purse and followed him out the door, calling out a farewell to Rin as she went.  Climbing into her car, she pulled out into traffic with due haste, and, praying that it was his destination, drove back to his apartment as rapidly as traffic would allow.

Upon her arrival, she slammed the car door shut and dashed into the apartment, taking the stairs to the top two at a time until her own physical limitations forced her to slow down.  She prayed, for not the first time, that the landlord might get some sense to fix the elevator, but doggedly went on, until at last she arrived on the seventh floor, gasping for breath.  However, her concern for her patient overcame her fatigue and she shoved open the door and was relieved to see the light on in the kitchen—her guess at his destination had been accurate.

Wiping her sweaty bangs from her eyes, she quickly went into the kitchen and found Inu-Yasha standing by his open liquor cabinet, draining a rather full tumbler of whiskey.  She remained silent, watching with worry as he took swallow after swallow until the glass was empty, then he set it down on the counter and shuddered, letting out a low moan.

“I-Inu-Yasha?” she asked hesitantly, slowly approaching him and gently placing a hand on his back.  “What happened?  What’s wrong?”

Panting heavily from both the drink and his outburst, he kept quiet for a moment, focusing on the empty glass in front of him.  Then, he finally mumbled, “It seems… this city is going to hell in a hand basket…  And it’s all my fault.”  He moved to pour another drink, the neck of the whiskey bottle clanking against the rim of the glass as his hand shook.

Kagome, utterly confused, moved to put her hand over his, hoping to calm him down with her touch.  “Inu-Yasha, I don’t understand, what are you talking about?”

“Get off me, dammit!” he suddenly snarled, wrenching his hand away from hers and spilling whiskey everywhere.  “Just… just… just leave me be!  Stop bothering me!  I just want to be alone right now!”

Kagome immediately flinched away, for she was well aware of how violent he could become.  However, her fear did not escape his notice, and he hung his head, looking away.  “Please…” he added in a much softer tone, sounding more desperate than angry.  Relieved to see that he was, at the very least, making an attempt to control his anger, Kagome nodded and backed away, watching forlornly as he collected his bottle and glass and went into the living room, making his place on the couch. 

Watching him from the kitchen for a moment with an expression of utter sadness, she finally sighed and moved away, going to sit at the kitchen table so she could think.  Just what had happened that got Inu-Yasha so shaken up?  For the life of her, she couldn’t fathom what it was; she had been spending so much time with Inu-Yasha lately that she was completely out of the loop with the goings-on at the Order.

“Hmph.”  Straightening, she quickly pulled her purse over and unzipped it, digging around a moment before successfully removing her cell phone.  If Inu-Yasha wouldn’t tell her what had happened, then perhaps Sango and Miroku would be willing.  Flipping the phone open, she quickly dialed in the familiar number and put it to her ear, waiting impatiently through several rings.  Finally, after almost two full minutes of the annoying buzz, she snapped her phone shut in frustration.  She couldn’t help but wonder—were they not answering their phone because they were busy, or because they were afraid of her phone call?  They were not stupid—surely they knew that she would probably send a call their way to find out the source of Inu-Yasha’s displeasure.  So why weren’t they answering?

Kagome sighed dejectedly as the sound of the bottle clinking against his tumbler drifted to her ears, and she knew she was in for a long day.  If he was already getting hammered at nine o’ clock in the morning, the day was surely going to go downhill from here, and there was little she could do to stop it.  She would try talking to him later, once he had calmed down a bit, but for now, there was nothing to do but stay close by in the kitchen so she could keep a watchful eye on him.

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By seven o’ clock that evening, Kagome had just about had enough.  The day had been terrible.  Confined to either the kitchen or the bedroom, for Inu-Yasha would not tolerate her presence in the living room with him, restless, pent-up energy had been rising in her all day as she had to find meaningless tasks to do to pass the time.  The whole while she was dusting his bedroom or reorganizing the kitchen cabinets, her worry continued to grow exponentially over the distraught half-demon as he steadily drank himself into a stupor over the course of the day.

There had been once incident around noon when, while she had been sitting at the kitchen table working on a crossword puzzle book she had uncovered in his dresser, he stumbled into the kitchen to retrieve a fresh bottle of whiskey.  Once he had acquired the bottle and had turned around to go back into the living, Kagome had decided to take the chance and speak up.

“Inu-Yasha…” she had said, quickly setting aside the puzzle and focusing all her attention on him.  “Please, won’t you tell me what’s wrong?  What happened over there?”

He had then turned his glassy-eyed gaze on her, looking a little miffed to be spoken to.  However, after appearing to consider her for a moment, he then said, rather loudly, “I gave up a lot.  An’ now they want me t’ give up more.  But I ain’ doin’ it.  They can try as hard as they want, but I won’ give in.  Damn bassurds…”  And then he had shuffled out of the kitchen, leaving her more confused than when he had first entered.

Over the course of the day, she had kept a sharp eye on him, watching a strange play of emotions come over him; for a long while he had sat and glared furiously at the television, breaking his concentration with short, quick gulps of whiskey.  But as time went on that anger seemed to melt into distress, and his drinking grew more desperate.  It was then Kagome had tried to join him on the couch, hoping to comfort him, but he had snapped and snarled so horribly at her that she quickly abandoned that hope and retreated back into the kitchen.  Around five o’ clock when she poked her head in, she realized that he was on the verge of tears, and an expression of intense sorrow was on his face.  “Not again…” she had heard him slur, holding his head in his hands.  And then, finally, around seven o’ clock, with his new whiskey bottle only a quarter-full and Kagome consumed with worry, he had slumped over, unconscious, on the couch, spilling his tumbler and allowing the carpet to soak up his last glass of whiskey.

Sighing in sorrow, Kagome carefully tugged his limp form so he was stretched out fully on the couch, then went to the bedroom to retrieve one of his new pillows that she knew he liked so well.  Tucking that under his head, she then pulled off a new flannel blanket from the back of the couch that had replaced his tattered, threadbare one and laid it over him.  Kneeling down next to him, she carefully smoothed his bangs away from his furrowed brow, wishing she knew what it was that had him so upset.  She always hated to see him this way.

“Hmm…”  Suddenly realizing something, she paused once to adjust his blanket before returning to the kitchen and snatching up her cell phone.  It had been several hours since her last phone call attempt; surely Sango and Miroku would free by now.  Punching in the familiar number, she was pleased to hear only two rings before an exhausted-sounding Miroku answered.

“This is Miroku…” came his haggard voice.

“Miroku, this is Kagome,” she replied abruptly, her tone rather clipped as she tried to hold back her displeasure with them.  “I want to know what exactly went on during your meeting with Inu-Yasha this morning.  When he returned home he set about to drinking and never stopped until he passed out just a few minutes ago.  Now, since he had been doing surprisingly well controlling such behavior up until now, something must have happened during your meeting to shake him so badly.  What happened?”

Miroku, who was apparently a little startled by the authoritative tone she had acquired, paused a moment before answering.  “I’m sorry, Kagome.  I don’t think Sango and I realized the effect our words would have on him.”

“That’s fine, but what words did you say to him?”

She heard a long sigh from the other end.  “…I assume then, that he hasn’t told you about the start of the second war?”

Kagome, who had been sitting ramrod straight in her chair, slowly sat back, taken aback by the comment.  “It’s true, then?  We are definitely in another war?”

“Yes,” came him level reply.  “Sango and I know that the city is ill-prepared for such a thing, and so we tried to convince Inu-Yasha to lend his talents to the fight and…  Well, let’s just say he didn’t handle things so well.”

Kagome frowned.  “What exactly did you say to him?”

Another pause.  “I’d rather not speak of it.”

Tapping her fingers irritably on the tabletop, for her patience and good humor had worn thin after worrying all day.  “All right then, I guess I’ll say my piece: I don’t know how you phrased your proposal to Inu-Yasha, but it has affected him very badly.  This has completely affected his healing process; we had just made a breakthrough the night before.  He was starting to feel happy for a little while.  He was slowly beginning to move forward in his life.  But now this little stunt you two pulled has now become a major setback.  The first war has scarred Inu-Yasha very deeply, a fact you know even better than I, so wouldn’t you assume that this second war will do the same to him?!  I am only going to say this once—keep Inu-Yasha out of this.  He’s never going to be healed if you keep pulling stuff like this on him.  Now, good night.”  And she hung up the phone.

Back at the Order’s headquarters, Miroku slowly set the phone back in its cradle and rested his head in his hand.  That phone call had just been another thing to add to the list of all the horrible occurrences during the day.  It felt like no matter what he and Sango did, things seemed to be slipping out of their control at every turn.  The mayor was constantly on them about the growing demon attacks, Kaede was alternating between yelling at them and helping them get the city prepared, the police chief seemed reluctant to send any of his men over for demon-slaying training, and now having Kagome call and yell at him seemed to be the icing on the cake.

“Who was that?” Sango asked distractedly, not taking her eyes off their dusty television screen where the mayoral elections were taking place.  Any moment now they would announce the winner, and they both had the sinking feeling that the result would top off their very dreadful day.

“Kagome.  Yelling at us for this morning.  Apparently Inu-Yasha’s been drinking all day.”

“Huh.  Well, that’s to be expected; it’s what he always does.”  Sango shook her head in disgust.

With a frown, Miroku dragged his tired eyes up to stare reproachfully at her.  “Now Sango.  If we keep saying things like that, Inu-Yasha’s never going to get any better.”

However, before he even finished his sentence, Sango quickly waved a hand to silence him and leaned forward, her eyes glued on the screen.

“Breaking news: the votes are in, and the new mayor for the city its… Candidate Muso, winning with a shocking 1,013 point lead!  Well, it just goes to show that support from the right people can—“  Sango cut off the announcer as she turned the television off, her hand dropping limply back into her lap.

With a low groan, Miroku leaned back in his chair and shut his eyes.  “And so it begins…”

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Thank you for reading!  Please, leave a review and tell me what you think!

Thank you to you who reviewed!

Guilty Hero

Chapter 29: The Truth Floweth Forth

It was a delightfully cooling sensation on his forehead that pulled Inu-Yasha from the depths of sleep.  Ever so slowly, he dragged his eyes open to see what the sensation was, and, despite the hated light that battered his throbbing head, he was able to catch the very pleasant sight of Kagome’s face swimming above him before squeezing his eyes shut once more.  Moaning softly, he shifted a little on the couch and was greeted with a tiny gasp as a response.

“Sorry…  I didn’t mean to wake you,” he heard Kagome whisper softly, and even though his ears were not pleased by any noise at the moment, he had to admit that hearing her voice seemed to soothe him; he felt a sense of dread lurking in his subconscious, waiting for the right moment to strike at him as soon as he was coherent enough to recall the previous day, but her calming presence kept that feeling at bay.

Keeping his eyes shut, he carefully shook his head to let her know that she didn’t have to apologize, but even that simple movement made his head swim and his temples pound.  Grimacing, he groaned quietly, “Oh…  Kagome, I don’t feel so good…”

Her light chuckle washed over him, and soon he felt that same cooling sensation that had awoken him—he realized that Kagome was dabbing his face with a damp washcloth.  “I don’t doubt it,” she replied, keeping her voice low out of consideration for his sensitivity at the moment.  “You were tossing and turning in your sleep, and you were drenched with sweat.  Did you have a nightmare?”

“If I did, I don’t remember…” he mumbled, bringing his hand out from under the warmth of the flannel blanket to rub his aching head.  “God, what happened last night?  I haven’t had a hangover this bad in… well, about a week, I guess…”  Had it really only been a week?  It felt much longer than that; he supposed his four nights of sobriety that week, rather than his usual one or two, made the time pass more slowly than usual.

“It isn’t so much of what happened last night, it’s what happened yesterday morning,” Kagome corrected gently, removing the washcloth so she could dunk it in a bowl of water.

“Yesterday morning…?” he repeated, tentatively cracking his eyes open once more to look at her.

“Yes.  Sango and Miroku called you in to headquarters for a meeting, remember?”  She watched his face carefully as he tried to conjure up the memories.  “They wouldn’t let me in, so I waited down in reception with Rin.  A little while later you came barreling down the stairs right past me and out the door.  I followed you back here, where you started drinking and didn’t stop until you passed out.”  She placed  the washcloth back on his forehead, for she could tell his headache was really bothering him.  “Does any of that ring a bell?”

“Hmph.”  He frowned and rolled away, pulling the blankets back up.  “Why did you have to bring that up?”

“Ah.  So you do remember what happened.  Will you please tell me?”

A low growl emerged from the flannel-covered lump on the couch, and he sunk further into the cushions.  “I don’t want to talk about it.  This hangover is bad enough, why won’t you just let me suffer in peace?”

“I’d rather you didn’t suffer at all, honestly.”

That answer, as point-blank as it was, made Inu-Yasha slowly turn back over to stare at her, and he saw that she was looking evenly at him, clearly not making a joke.  “I mean it, Inu-Yasha,” she said.  “I hate seeing you make yourself so sick.  You were doing so well this week, and then all of a sudden, after this meeting you turned right back around and did this to yourself once again.  I want to know what made you hurt so bad so that I can help you.”

For a few moments, Inu-Yasha found he couldn’t speak; he felt so odd, hearing someone say that they cared for him.  Finally, he rolled over so that he was completely facing her, and, scowling the entire time, he grudgingly started to speak.

“They started off by tellin’ me that we definitely have another war on our hands.  Then they kept saying things like, ‘We know it’s not Naraku, he dead, so you don’t have to worry about that’.  They made it absolutely clear that things were not going to be the same as they were with Naraku.”  He growled softly at the memory.  “I asked them why the hell they were bringing that stuff up, and that damn fool Miroku told me, ‘so you won’t have any qualms about helping us protect the city’.”

Kagome looked at him in confusion.  “Why does that make Miroku a ‘damn fool’?”

“Because they knew!” Inu-Yasha shouted back, sitting up and pounding his fist on the sofa cushion.  “I had told them ages ago that, should another war happen, I wasn’t going to participate!  I couldn’t go through it again!  And yet, here they are, trying to convince me to do it!  How many times do I have to—urp.”  He abruptly clamped his mouth shut as his body roared its complaints about the sudden movement and noise, and carefully sunk back into the pillows, swallowing hard to keep the rising bile down.  Kagome quickly handed him a glass of water she had ready on the coffee table, and he gratefully drained the whole thing.

Once he had calmed down enough and the green tinge to his cheeks faded, he slowly went on with his story.  “That’s what I told them, actually…” he mumbled, keeping his eyes shut so his head would stop pounding so badly.  “I said I wouldn’t do it.  I refused to help.  That’s when…”  He paused, a muscle in his temple twitching as he tried to hold back his temper.  “…Sango said I would be doing the city a disservice, not to protect it.  And Miroku told me that the people in the city will look to me to defend them from the next threat.  He said that if I didn’t fight, the city would lose hope, and then fall to the opposition.  All because I won’t fight.”

He sighed heavily and tugged the blankets up, looking more sad rather than angry.  “This is a damn awful position to be in, Kagome…” he murmured.  “If I don’t fight, the city will fall.  But… but I can’t do it.  Not again.  I couldn’t take it.”  Groaning, he mumbled quietly, “…I don’t know what to do…”

Kagome, who had made it a point to keep quiet during his story, slowly got to her feet and tucked the blankets around Inu-Yasha, readjusting his washcloth that had fallen off during his miniature outburst.  “You’re going to stay here and rest,” she replied firmly, her tone indicating that there was to be no argument.  “Don’t think any more about it, just leave everything to me.”

Against his better judgment, he opened his eyes to warily study her.  “What do you mean by that?”

Smiling gently at him, although the steely look in her eye distracted him from the smile, she said, “Never mind that.  Just go back to sleep.  I’m sure you’ll feel better with a little more rest.  Now, if you’ll be all right on your own, I have an errand to run.”  Without waiting for an answer, she quickly went over to the door and grabbed her winter coat.

“Kagome…” he said slowly, wondering if he should be worried by her determination or not.  “What are you doing?  You aren’t going to the Order, are you?”

Snatching her purse off the floor and cramming a hat onto her head, she merely smiled at him and said, “Rest.  You’ll feel much better.”  And then she left, without giving him the chance to say anything else.

Once out of his apartment, her smile slipped off her face, replaced with a look of intense concentration.  Making a beeline down the stairs, she banged open the door of the building and strode out to her car.  Due to her focus on her main goal, the drive over the Order’s headquarters angered many other drivers on the road, but their honks and curses fell on deaf ears as she stared straight ahead.  At headquarters, she quickly climbed out of her car and walked briskly through the front doors with a terse, “Good morning, Rin!” to the receptionist, who was understandably confused by the abrupt appearance and rough tone of such a normally pleasant person.

“Um, good morning, Kagome…” she said weakly in reply, but Kagome was already in the elevator and on her way up.

When the elevator deposited her on the top floor, she slammed open the door and stormed into Sango and Miroku’s office without hesitation nor invitation and stood in front of their desks with her hands on her hips, glaring at them.  Her sudden presence was clearly a surprise to them both; Sango, who appeared to very nervous and jittery gave a tremendous twitch when the door opened and accidentally threw her pen into the window, and Miroku, who had his head on his desk, awoke with a start, sitting straight up and staring around in surprise.

“Kagome!” Sango cried, looking quite irritated.  “What on earth—“

“You be quiet.  I have something to say, and I am not going to be over-powered by either of you.”  Sango immediately shut her mouth, and even the bleary-eyed Miroku was startled into wakefulness by her tone.

Making certain she had both of their attention, her tirade began.  “This has gone on far enough.  For too long I have allowed you two to undo any progress I have made with Inu-Yasha.  For too long, Inu-Yasha has been beaten down by you two every time he tries to climb out of this whole he has dug himself into.  Don’t you two idiots understand what you’re doing to him?  Do you care nothing for his well-being?  He is your friend!!  He is the reason you are alive today to be the heads of the Order!  Why don’t you understand how important your friendship is to him?!  He values it above most things in his life, and yet you continually put him further and further back on your list of priorities!”

“Kagome, what is this about?” Sango broke in, her feeble hold over her temper barely keeping her in check.

Focusing her glare on the other woman, Kagome snapped, “He told me what happened during your meeting yesterday, and I am absolutely appalled by what you two did.  Blaming him for the city’s inevitable downfall?  Is that really what you think of him?  I mean, time and time again, you never miss out on an opportunity to make Inu-Yasha feel guilty about his way of life now!  You always force him into situations where he is certain to fail!  He will ever live up to your god-like expectations of him, and he will never be good enough for you, will he?  Is he even a person to you two anymore?  Or is he just a malfunctioning weapon for you to use against your enemies?  All you want is a quick fix that will keep him functioning long enough to get you out of another tight situation before he breaks down again—don’t you realize the effect that that has on him?

“He’s not a fool; he knows just how you look at him, but damn it, he’ still loyal to the both of you, and you just take him for granted!  With a little persuasion, he can be guilted into doing your dirty work, is that it?!”

“O-of course not!” Miroku stuttered, then flinched when Kagome turned her attention to him.

“Well, that’s the only way I can figure why you do such horrible things to him!  All you ever think about is keeping his image up—never mind that the man behind the image is falling to pieces from the tremendous burden he bears, as long as nobody else sees that, then it’s fine, right?  So even though you know that the day of the Peace Day gala is the hardest day of the year, you still force him to go and pretend to be someone he isn’t; it doesn’t matter that afterwards he tries to drown himself in liquor, at least the city was happy to see him!  ‘Leave him alone, he’s dangerous’, that’s what you told me—well why did you never do anything about it?  Oh, because you’re always working, never taking any time to actually get to know why Inu-Yasha is the way he is!  You just work, you give him an assignment, yell at him when he’s unable to do it properly, which makes him feel even worse about himself—damn it all, what is wrong with you?!  You need to stop seeing him as an asset and start seeing him as a person.  With friends like you two, it’s no wonder he’s still a drunk!”

Kagome paused here to catch her breath and take note of her superior’s reactions; both were staring dumbly at her, clearly at a loss for words.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm down, she went on, this time in a much softer, but still fairly harsh tone.  “I’m sorry for saying things so bluntly, but it seemed you weren’t going to get the message any other way.  Now, all I have left to say is this: if you really do want to help Inu-Yasha, then meet us outside here at ten o’ clock tonight.  And if you value your jobs more than him, then I understand, but I highly suggest you cut your ties with him—you’re doing nothing but dragging him down.”  With all that said, she spun on her heel and quickly left the room, leaving Sango and Miroku sitting as still as statues.

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“Why won’t you tell me where we’re goin’?” Inu-Yasha grumbled as he climbed into the passenger’s seat in her car.

“Because I don’t want to ruin the surprise!” she replied cheerfully, sliding in next to him.  “Now, are you sure you’re feeling well enough to go out?  I don’t want to force you into anything when you don’t feel well.”

“Hmph.”  He crossed his arms and scowled out the window as she started the car and pulled out onto the road.  “You made me sleep so much today that if I wasn’t feeling well I’d be worried.  Why the hell did you make me sleep so much, anyway?”

“Sleep is the best cure for a hangover,” was her response.  “Well, except for more liquor, but that has bad side effects.  Besides, it’s not my fault my lap is too comfortable.”

Inu-Yasha looked sharply at her.  “Wait, what the hell do you mean by that?  Who said that?”

She smiled, keeping her eyes on the road.  “You did.  This afternoon, remember?  You woke up a little when I got up to get more tea, but as soon as I sat down again you laid your head on my lap and said “Dammit, Kagome, you lap is too comfortable,” then went back to sleep.  It was very cute.”

Spluttering, Inu-Yasha finally growled, “I did not!  I would never do that!”

“Wouldn’t you?  Well, you already did.  In fact, while you were sleeping you kept cuddling up to me, too.  I never knew you were so affectionate!”

“I did not!!” he snarled again, a deep red blossoming in his cheeks.  “Where the hell do you get ideas like that?  Do I seem like the affectionate type to you?!”

At this, Kagome laughed.  “Well, not now you don’t, but you certainly were this afternoon!”

This banter went on for a few more minutes, until Inu-Yasha realized the car was slowing down, and he peered out the window so he could see where they were.  “Wait a second…” he growled, suddenly tensing up.  “What the hell are we doing at the Order?  This is the last damn place I want to be today.”

Kagome sighed slightly, and moved to parallel park by the curb.  “I know, Inu-Yasha, but this is just a quick pit stop.  We shouldn’t be here more than a minute.”

“This pit stop wouldn’t have anything to do with taking on more passengers, would it?” he snapped.  “Because I see two people walking towards this car that should be walking in the other direction.”

“Inu-Yasha, please.  The fact that Sango and Miroku are out here means something very important.  I need you, for once, to hold your tongue when they get in here, understood?”

He glared at her, clearly unhappy.  “Did you not hear me when I told you what they said to me yesterday?  Do I need to tell you again?  I think I have the right to be angry, you know!”

“Yes, you absolutely do.  But please control your temper, just this one time.  Please.”

He didn’t have the chance to answer her, for it was at that moment when Sango and Miroku arrived at the car, Sango slipping in behind Inu-Yasha, and Miroku going around to sit behind Kagome.

Deciding to set the tone for the evening, since Inu-Yasha was scowling furiously out the windshield and Sango and Miroku both had a blend of anxiety and fear in their faces, Kagome smiled kindly at them in the rearview mirror, hoping to put them at ease.  “Good evening,” she said brightly, waiting until they had buckled their seatbelts before pulling out again.  “I’m very glad the both of you could make it.”

Seemingly heartened by her lack of severity, Miroku slowly spoke up.  “Um, yes, well, it took a bit of work, for Kaede was certainly unhappy to hear that we both suddenly wanted tonight off, but…  Well, we wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Ah, good for you.  You’ve worked plenty hard, I think you should’ve had a break long ago.  Kaede will just have to make do without you tonight.”  Kagome turned a corner, her tires crunching in the fresh-fallen snow that had yet to be plowed away that day.

An awkward silence fell, until finally Miroku nudged Sango’s arm to get her to add to the conversation.  “So… where are we going?” she asked hesitantly.  “I hope it’s not somewhere fancy; Miroku and I didn’t dress properly for that.”

“Oh, goodness no.  I wouldn’t put Inu-Yasha through that kind of torture.”  Kagome gave him a small smile, but he was too busy fuming silently in his seat to notice.  With a  sigh, she went on.  “I thought we might go to the park.  It’ll be so pretty with all of the fresh snow on the ground…”

“You seriously want to go to the park at ten o’ clock at night with a demon war about to begin?” Sango asked, trying to keep a tone of sarcasm out of her voice.

Kagome didn’t seem to notice.  “Well, I’m afraid I had to make it so late; the park is a surprisingly romantic place for young couples, and, despite the dangers of being out late, they linger for quite some time, so we needed to wait until they were gone.  And besides, we have Inu-Yasha with us; he can beat up anything that would be so foolish as to disrupt our walk.  Right?”  She hoped the flattery might soothe his temper, and he did seem to lighten slightly at the comment, although silence still held his tongue.

“That’s right…” Sango answered slowly, glancing over at the demon.  “We do have Inu-Yasha, don’t we?  We should be just fine.”  When Inu-Yasha suddenly flicked his gaze over to the rearview mirror to look at her in surprise, she gave him a small smile, which he snorted at in reply and looked away.

The rest of the drive to the park was silent, but when Kagome pulled into the completely empty parking lot, everyone save Inu-Yasha quickly climbed out of the car and stood at the entrance, staring out at the park.  Living in the big city, it was rare to see a beautiful snowy nature scene, so the sight of the snow-covered branches, the brick walkway covered with a light dusting of snow, and every inch of ground covered in an unspoiled, pristine white blanket, glittering from the lamps that followed the path.

Kagome couldn’t help but sigh at the sight, smiling up at Inu-Yasha as he slowly stepped up next to her, staring silently at the park.  His expression was unreadable, but at least she knew he wasn’t quite so angry now.  Deciding to bite the bullet, she grabbed his hand and tugged him onto the brick path.  “Come on, let’s go.  If it’s this beautiful now, I can’t wait to see what it looks like in the wooded area.” 

Sango and Miroku followed behind the other couple, falling into a leisurely stroll as they stared around themselves.  It was so odd, after so many weeks of being stressed and tense over demon fights, elections, wars, and attack plans, that such a simple thing as a walk through the park suddenly left them feeling calm and relaxed.  Sango even allowed Miroku to take her hand, and Miroku was able to restrain himself from exploring her backside.

For several minutes, both couples walked in silence, Kagome and Inu-Yasha pulling farther ahead so they could give the other two a bit more privacy, due to Kagome’s urging.  “Look at them,” she whispered, peeking over her shoulder.  “They really needed this.  Just a night to get out of the office and do nothing, for once.  You should have seen them earlier, Inu-Yasha.  They just looked horrible, all tense and jumpy.  I don’t think they’ve slept or eaten well in days.”

“Huh.”  Inu-Yasha glanced down at her, keeping his eyes on the path ahead.  “So you did go to see them this morning.  I thought so.”  He had been trying, between the several naps he had taken that day, to figure out where she had gone on her ‘errand’ that morning, but she had kept mum about it, and his curiosity was driving him insane.  “What were you trying to accomplish by that?”

Kagome frowned up at him, pulling her hat down over her ears as the chilly air nipped at her.  “I’m not going to tell you everything I said to them, but I will tell you this.  I laid everything on the line for them.  I said that if they still valued you as a person and not as an asset, then they needed to meet us tonight.  But if they thought they would be unable to juggle both you and their jobs at the Order, then they needed to cut their ties with you.  So Inu-Yasha…  The fact that they’re here should mean something to you.  It should show you that they aren’t going to give up; that they’re going to step and make some changes.”

Inu-Yasha kept quiet, staring down at his sneakers as they continued to make fresh prints in the snow.  He said nothing, but Kagome was able to see his face, and from his expression, she could tell that he was deep in thought; clearly her words had some affect.  Pleased with this, she wrapped her arms around his and leaned into his warm body, and they went on down the path, surrounded by dozens of snow-covered trees.

Meanwhile, several paces behind, Sango and Miroku were strolling along, reveling in the sights and sounds of the park. 

“Isn’t this beautiful…?” Sango murmured, giving Miroku’s hand a gentle squeeze as they walked.  “Why don’t we do this more often?”

Miroku let out a soft sigh, his breath misting in the winter air.  “Work always gets in the way of such simple pleasures,” he replied softly.  “It’s gotten in the way of a great number of things, actually.”

“Then why are we still there?” Sango asked, bringing her gaze down to her shoes as she recalled their reason for going out tonight.  “If work has turned us into such… t-terrible people, why are we still going back every day?”  Her voice caught as she thought of everything Kagome had said to them that morning, and she still couldn’t help but cringe in guilt every time she looked at Inu-Yasha.  She knew he was absolutely furious with them, and yet he still always allowed them back in.  It was something he had done time and time again, and she had always taken it for granted.  She had never realized just how deeply those scars ran, however.

“Because it’s the only thing we know, my dear,” Miroku replied.  “We know it, and we’re good at it.”

“Hmph.  Well, that shouldn’t stop us from doing other things.”

He looked down at her, a small grin growing on his face.  “And what sort of ‘other things’ did you have in mind?”

Sango glanced over at him, looking a little surprised to be asked such a thing.  “Oh, I’m not sure…  What about travel?  I’ve always wanted to travel.  I’ve never even left the city limits because of the Order.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic to go to some tiny village in Africa, or sail down to Australia, or trek across China?”

“Well, that does sound nice…” Miroku said slowly, carefully pushing aside a low-hanging branch as they passed.  “But wouldn’t you get lonely, doing all of that by yourself?”

Sango raised an eyebrow.  “And just what are you proposing?”

“Well, perhaps a companion for these trips might make things more enjoyable.  A familiar face in an unfamiliar land.”

Unable to keep a straight face, Sango asked him, “Are you suggesting that you accompany me on my journey across the world?”

“Oh Sango, I can’t say I would care for it much, but if you insist, then I shall join you.”

Sighing, she rested her head on his shoulder, surprising him at the sudden touch.  “All right.  Once this damn war is over, you and I will quit the business and travel.”

Smiling broadly, he put an arm over her shoulders.  “It’s a deal.”

They walked on, their shoes crunching in the light snow.  Miroku sighed happily as he glanced up through the tree branches at the night sky; for such a horrible day, the night was turning out to be very enjoyable indeed…

“Heads up!”

The unexpected shout made Sango and Miroku start, and then out of nowhere a snowball smacked Miroku in the head, making him stagger back a couple steps.  Up ahead, Sango could see Inu-Yasha holding another one ready, a tiny grin on his face as he caught her eye.  Within seconds the missile was flying through the air, and Sango had barely enough time to dodge it.

For a moment, both her and Miroku stood in shock—Inu-Yasha had never acted in such a way before, not even with Kikyo.  This made them consider the possibility that perhaps these snowball attacks were veiled attacks out of anger towards them, and both tensed for another wave.  However, when Inu-Yasha bent over to make more arsenal, Kagome sent an expertly aimed one in his direction, hitting him in the butt and making him yelp with surprise.

“Dammit, woman, I thought you were on my team!” he yelled as she laughed aloud, only to be cut off as a snowball landed square in her stomach.  Soon after things disintegrated into utter chaos between the two, and as soon as Sango and Miroku realized that Inu-Yasha was actually playing, they joined into the fray, lobbing mound after mound of snow at their attackers.

Finally, after almost an hour of fighting in the snow, they made their way back to the car, soaking wet and exhausted from laughter and shouting.  Shaking all the excess snow off their coats, Sango and Miroku slipped into the backseat as Inu-Yasha and Kagome got into the front, and once the heater was on full blast, she pulled out of the parking lot.

Things were quiet for a little while; Kagome realized after a few minutes of driving that Sango and Miroku had fallen asleep, leaning against one another in the backseat.

“They must be exhausted,” she whispered quietly to Inu-Yasha, who had been staring out the window.  “I’m surprised they lasted as long as they did.”

“Mm.”  He grunted apathetically, casting a glance in the rearview mirror to watch them.

She smiled gently at him.  “I’m very proud of you, you know.  You did a very good thing back there.  I’m sure they feel so much better knowing that you aren’t going to hold a grudge.”

“Who said anything about that?  I was just playing a damn game.  It means nothin’.”  It was easy to see the red tinge burning his cheeks again.

Kagome grasped his left hand in her right.  “It means everything to them.  That’s all that matters.”

Rolling his eyes, Inu-Yasha sighed and looked out the window again.  “You’re crazy, Kagome.”  But he gently squeezed her fingers in return.

Kagome turned her attention back on the road, feeling quite pleased with herself.  She couldn’t help but feel a little proud of herself for what she had accomplished today.  She had helped mend a broken relationship, she had relieved to over-stressed leaders of their duties for a while, and had even helped Inu-Yasha inadvertently enjoy himself and keep him off the drink for an evening.

All in a day’s work… she thought with a pleased sigh.  When Inu-Yasha looked over at her to see what was wrong, she smiled and said conversationally, “Well, let’s drop these two off and then get you home.  It’s time to get some sleep, I think.”

“Aww, I’ve been sleeping all day…” he whined.

“But it’ll be on your new comforter, not on the couch.”

“Oh.  Well, I guess that’s okay, then.”

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Thanks so much for reading!  Please leave a review and tell me what you think!

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Guilty Hero

Chapter 30: Forgiven

“Hello, Kagome,” Sango said, making Kagome jump in her seat at the sudden noise.  Twisting around in the booth, she realized that it was her boss and tried to cover up her anxiety with a smile.  She had been a little nervous about this meeting, for her run-ins with Sango often didn’t go well, but the woman seemed to be pleased to see her.

“Sango, hi!  Thanks for agreeing to meet me on such short notice.”

Once she shrugged out of her snow-covered coat, Sango slid into the booth opposite Kagome, waving the comment away as she did so.  “Oh please.  I’ve been dying to get out of that office for days.”

Kagome nodded sympathetically.  “I’ve seen a lot of stuff on the news; you guys must be swamped.  Is it true about the murders?”

Pausing before she answered, since the waitress just arrived to take their order, they both asked for coffee, and then she waited until the waitress was out of sight before answering the question; openly talking about the Order’s business in a coffee shop in the middle of the day was not a wise thing to do.

“The murders are just the tip of the iceberg,” she said sadly, lowering her voice to keep an air of secrecy.  “I mean, there have been five human murders within the past two weeks.  But there are also other serious problems.  Scouts have confirmed sightings of strangely large numbers of demons in certain areas of the city, which is a sign of growing opposing forces.  Also, we have reason to suspect that some of our own lesser demons are starting to be swayed over to the other side.  On top of that, the police department is refusing to send over officers for training because that damn chief of police refuses to believe that we are in another war, and Miroku and I are still unable to get anything out of the mayor-elect.  Things are not going well at the Order, to say the least.”

“Oh dear…”  Looking more than a little worried, Kagome asked, “Do you need to get back to work?  I didn’t mean to pull you away from more pressing matters…”

“Kagome, I have been there for nine days straight.  Meeting you here gave me the excuse to get out for a little while.  Besides…”  Once again, she paused as the waitress returned to drop off their coffee, and waited until she was out of earshot before continuing.  “You said you needed some help with Inu-Yasha.  And since Miroku and I…  well, need to work on that, I decided that I would make it here come hell or high water.  So, enough talk about the Order—what do you need help with?”  She fixed Kagome with her strong gaze, giving the girl her full attention.

Kagome allowed  a small smile to cross her face; it seemed her request of Sango and Miroku those two weeks ago had indeed been heard, and they really were making an effort to help Inu-Yasha, even on top of the pressures of a building war.  It was a relief to know that they had yet to give up on him.

Clearing her throat, she began her explanation.  “Well, I’m starting to get just a little worried about Inu-Yasha.  I mean, he had been doing so well; the week where we kidnapped you two for a walk in the park, he had spent five nights completely sober.  He left his apartment for a trip to the department store, we had a couple breakthroughs, his general mood throughout the day was improving…”  She wrapped her fingers around her coffee mug, blowing at the steam rising off it.

“But lately, that’s changed.  Over the past few days he’s become more melancholy than usual; he hardly speaks to me anymore, he spends an awful lot of time in his bedroom with the door closed, and when he isn’t back there then he’s drinking on the couch or at the kitchen table, looking terribly depressed.”   She sighed heavily, absently picking up her spoon and stirring the coffee.  “I’ve tried asking him what’s wrong, but for some reason he just clams up, which I don’t understand, because it wasn’t too long ago when he was fairly willing to start a conversation.  He’s barely said two sentences to me all week.”  Dropping the spoon, she put her head in her hands, clearly upset.  “I just don’t understand.  We were doing so well, and then all of a sudden…”

Sango frowned, not liking to see Kagome so upset.  “Kagome…  you do know what this is about, don’t you?”

Sharply looking up to meet Sango’s gaze, Kagome asked, “I take it you do know?”

Sango nodded.  “I do.  This happens to him every year around Christmastime.”

“What about it?  Does he not like Christmas or something?”

Shaking her head, Sango took a sip of coffee.  “Not exactly.  You see, Christmas is not really a celebratory time of year for him.   From the age of five to sixteen he was homeless, just trying to save up enough money to survive, so Christmas was just like any other day, there was nothing special about it.  However, once he met Kikyo and she invited him into the Order…  Well, those three Christmases they spent together are some of his fondest memories of Kikyo.  They were, in a sense, the first time he ever felt the ‘spirit of Christmas’, so to speak.”

“Really?” Kagome asked, fascinated by the story.  Inu-Yasha didn’t like to talk about his past, so hearing so much about it was an odd feeling for her.  “What happened?”

Sango smiled at Kagome’s interest.  “Well, let’s see…  The first year they had known each other long enough that it was fairly obvious of their relationship.  So, in order to surprise him, Kaede sent him and Miroku on a mission on Christmas Eve so Kikyo and I could decorate a tree in the dining hall at HQ without him knowing about it.  Then, on Christmas morning when he came down for breakfast, he was greeted by the three of us in front of the tree.  We all had gifts for him, and he hardly knew what to do with himself.  He tried to cover up his feelings, but it was obvious how happy he was.”

“The year after that, he helped us decorate the building, which he took great joy in, and he even gave us all gifts that year.  And then the next year he spent Christmas with Kikyo at her apartment, so I’m not sure what happened.  But I do know that the next day he was in a strangely good mood, and it wasn’t too long after that when he asked Kikyo to marry him.”

It was a little difficult for Kagome to digest the story, for it was hard to imagine him happy or joyful, but from the far-away look in Sango’s eyes and her wistful smile, she knew it had to be true.  However, that smile quickly vanished as Sango continued with her story.

“However, the final battled happened the next year, and of course that ruined everything.  He was still unconscious in the hospital for Christmas, but then next year…”  She sighed and shook her head.  “I guess you could say he felt robbed of his joy for that time of year.  I mean, until he met Kikyo, he had spent Christmas scrounging around in trash cans picking through the remains of Christmas Eve dinner for a meal.  So he saw Kikyo as the one who made the holiday special to him, and with her gone…”

“…He couldn’t celebrate,” Kagome finished, for this was the Inu-Yasha that she knew.

“Exactly,” Sango agreed, nodding.  “Miroku and I were concerned about him, because he had been terribly depressed the whole year long, and had turned to alcohol for a while.  However, we had an altercation a few weeks prior to Christmas, and after that he made it a point to quit drinking.”

It was Kagome’s turn to nod; she recalled Inu-Yasha’s tale on top of the roof at the gala, when he had mentioned quitting for a bit.

“We hoped that, because he had stopped with the booze he would be a little more willing to spend Christmas with Miroku and I, and that way we could attempt to pull him out of his depression.  So we invited him to come over to my apartment Christmas morning to celebrate, and he agreed.  However, when Christmas morning came around, he never showed.  We were concerned, but since my little brother was there and was so excited about opening presents that we did it without him.  In fact, it wasn’t until the next day were we able to get over to his apartment.”

Her tone of voice made Kagome cringe slightly, for she had a good guess as to the next part of the story, and it turned out her guess was far from incorrect.

“We found him passed out in the bathroom,” Sango continued, focusing more on her coffee cup than on Kagome.  “He had a photograph in one hand and a whiskey bottle in the other, while there were a couple more scattered about the apartment; it was pretty bad.  But, while Miroku and I were attempting to get him into bed, he woke up a little and kept asking for Kikyo, over and over.”

“A photograph?” Kagome asked curiously, for she had never seen any pictures in his apartment.  “What was it of?”

A small grin graced Sango’s features as she thought back.  “During Inu-Yasha’s ‘first Christmas’, as we like to call it, Kikyo had given him a Santa hat as a gift, and we were able to procure some reindeer antlers for her.  Miroku happened to have his camera on him, and he snapped a picture of the two of them together.  It was awfully sweet, so he made sure to give Inu-Yasha a copy, which he kept for a long, long time.  He may even still have it, for all I know.  I know he still has the hat, too, somewhere.”

“Hm…  She really had an effect on him, didn’t she?” Kagome murmured, absently toying with a sugar packet on the table.  Sango nodded. 

“Yeah…  Well, they did make a good couple, that’s for certain.”

Focusing her attention on Sango, Kagome suddenly asked, “What was she like?  So far, it seems like everything in Inu-Yasha’s past revolves around this woman, and yet I know nothing about her.”

Sango appeared to be a bit surprised by the question, but she sat back for a moment to think about it.  “Well…  She was tall, with dark hair and brown eyes; I know for a fact that Inu-Yasha once told Miroku that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  He probably never worked up the courage to tell her that, though, as he was often very skittish concerning her.  She was fairly melancholy, but Inu-Yasha never seemed to mind, for some reason.  He, of course, was always loud and brash, but she was there to keep him under control, and, while the rest of us would yell at him for being obnoxious in front of guests, a few words from her would have him quiet in no time.  We always wondered why he submitted so easily to her, but she had no explanation for us.”

Sighing, she tapped her fingers against her chin as she thought a little more.  “I guess you could say that the two had a lot in common.  Yes, they were polar opposites in personality, but they shared similar traits.  Both were orphaned at a young age, and both felt like they were out of place in society.  I mean, Kikyo, with her astonishing spiritual powers, was avoided by other members of the Order and viewed as a freak by the rest of the city.  While Inu-Yasha, being a homeless half-breed, was labeled as the scum of society; not even the other homeless people would spend time with him unless they had to.  I suppose that was what Kikyo saw in him when they first met—a lonely outcast, just like herself.”

“…It sounds to me like Kikyo was a little controlling of Inu-Yasha,” Kagome finally said, unable to keep the comment from slipping out.  There was a strange feeling welling up in her breast, one that she could hardly recognize—jealousy.  But why was she jealous of Kikyo?  Kikyo was long gone, it wouldn’t do to get in a competition with the girl.

“Oh, not at all,” Sango disagreed, frowning a little at Kagome.  “Kikyo was the best thing to happen to him.  She was the first person to accept him for what he was; not even Miroku and I were willing to speak to him at first, but due to her constant requests for us to meet him, we finally did, and we have been his friends ever since.  She did everything she could to make him happy, she just did it very quietly, very subtle so he wouldn’t notice.  His pride and ego would have been sorely bruised had he known how hard she had worked to get him in with good standing for Kaede, but it was because of her that Kaede offered him a position at the Order.  It wasn’t until after her death did he realize all that she had done for him.”

“So why, then, did she betray him and run off to join the demon’s side during the war?  She seemed to be the perfect person for the Order, not the demons.”

Sango shrugged.  “That’s a grey area in her life, and it was something that we were never quite able to figure out.  My guess is that Naraku played to her weaknesses.  He probably told her that, while her strange powers labeled her as a freak by the Order, demons tend to value power, and the more power you have, the more authority you have.  Since Kikyo’s voice was often ignored during war meetings at the Order, being given authority would have been a very tempting offer for her.  Plus, I’m guessing Naraku promised Inu-Yasha a place among his army should Kikyo join with him, for Inu-Yasha told us that she begged him to go with her, on more than one occasion.  It was heartbreaking for him to say no, but his conscience wouldn’t allow him to switch sides, not even for her.”  She sighed heavily.  “And I assume you know the rest from there.  Betrayal, murder, etc., etc.”

Kagome was oddly quiet at the end of her tale, staring hard at the table, while Sango could practically see the gears in her head turning as she thought.  Suddenly, she climbed to her feet and grabbed her coat and purse, looking quite determined.  “Thank you for your help, Sango,” she said distractedly, hurriedly shoving her arms into her coat sleeves.  “We need to do this again.  I’ll call you sometime later.”  And then she was out the door, leaving Sango to stare after her in surprise.

During the trip back to Inu-Yasha’s apartment, she couldn’t help but marvel at how so many things made sense to her now.  It was no wonder Inu-Yasha was acting so strangely lately; some of her fondest memories were from celebrating Christmas with her family, so for Inu-Yasha to experience that joy, only to have it taken away from him, helped her understand his current behavior.

And then there was Kikyo.  She had always assumed that the crushing guilt that he forced himself to live under was due to his deep, ever-faithful love for the woman.  Often she had wondered why Inu-Yasha constantly punished himself over the murder of a woman who had betrayed the entire human population, who had been willing to give the city up for her own selfish desires.  But when Sango told her that Inu-Yasha had been orphaned and homeless at such a young age, and forced to live that way for so many years, everything began to make sense.  Because Kikyo was the one who saw in him his potential, and was able to look past the fact that he was a half-demon and provide for him a job and a home, it was small wonder that he viewed her as his own savior.  She could easily see why he was still so conflicted; how do you turn on the one who rescued you in the first place?

Pulling up to the sidewalk in front of his apartment building, she turned her car off and sat still for a moment.  She couldn’t help but mentally thank Sango for the story.  Part of Inu-Yasha’s mental block that wouldn’t allow him to quit drinking was caused by the guilt he felt over Kikyo’s death, and up until now, Kagome felt that she hadn’t enough information to broach the subject. 

Taking a deep breath, she climbed out of her car and stared up at the apartment building; this was it.  Perhaps today was the day where he was going to work past his guilt, and even…  Well, she could hardly dare to hope that he might proclaim his desire to quit drinking, but the thought was still there.  Squaring her shoulders, she strode towards the building and started her trek up the stairs, using the time to figure out just how she should approach him with her new information.

Once at the seventh floor, she let herself into Inu-Yasha’s apartment and paused in the foyer to shed her coat and purse.  As she did so, she looked around in search of the demon, but he was nowhere to be found.  She spotted a smoldering cigarette stub in the ashtray on the coffee table, so she knew he had at least risen for the day; when she had left his apartment to meet Sango, he was still sleeping off the extra liquor he’d imbibed the night before.  Poking her head into the kitchen and seeing that it was just as empty as the living room, she knew then that he must be in his bedroom, where he had frequented more and more the past few weeks.

Walking down the hall to the closed door, she spotted a light underneath it and knew her assumption was correct.  So, bracing herself for what was to come, she rapped her knuckles lightly on the paneled wood.

“Inu-Yasha?” she said softly, for she knew his hearing would be sensitive.  “Are you up?”

The slight rustling of fabric first greeted her words, and then the creak of the mattress springs.  A couple seconds later, the door slowly opened and Inu-Yasha scowled at her with strangely bloodshot eyes, looking rather displeased.

“Where the hell have you been?” he grumbled, scratching his head and tousling his hair even more.  “You weren’t here when I got up.”

Kagome felt a light blush stain her cheeks; for some reason, the thought of him looking for her as soon as he woke up gave her a warm feeling.  “I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you that I was going to have coffee with Sango this morning.”

He blinked slowly at her for a moment, then brushed past her down the hallway.  “Coffee…  I forgot to make some…”

Taking hold of his arm before he got too far, she gently steered him to the couch and made him sit down.  “Don’t worry, I made some for you before I left.  I’ll go fix you a cup.”  Making sure he was settled, she quickly bustled into the kitchen and poured a cup for him, checking to see that it was still plenty warm before taking it back out to the living room.  “Here you go.”

Accepting it with a mumbled, “Thank you,” he took a sip and started to feel around for the television remote, but paused and stared at her warily when she sat down next to him.

“Inu-Yasha,” she said slowly, and her tone made him cringe.  “We need to talk.”

Inwardly, he groaned for being caught in this position; Miroku had warned him long ago that when a woman says, “We need to talk,” nothing good would come of it.  He found this to be true with Kikyo, for their conversation in which she revealed her loyalty to Naraku began with, “We need to talk.”  Miroku had also informed him that there was no escape from such a conversation either, and eventually, you would be forced to have it.  But despite knowing this, Inu-Yasha couldn’t help but try to get out of it.

“Not now…” he grumbled, rubbing his forehead.  “My head hurts.  We’ll talk later.”

“No, Inu-Yasha, we’ll talk now,” and the seriousness of her tone surprised him.  Blinking at her, more than a little displeased, he finally set his coffee cup aside and crossed his arms, looking expectantly at her.

“Fine.  What do you want to talk about?”

Holding back a sigh, for she knew he was not going to make this easy for her, she took a deep breath to begin.  “Well…  I’ve noticed that you’ve been fairly depressed lately, and it concerned me.  You aren’t eating as much as you should, you’re drinking more than usual, and you don’t seem to want to talk to me about it.  So, that’s why I asked Sango to meet with me this morning; I thought that she and Miroku would know better than anyone why you were so depressed.”  She paused for a moment to glance up at him.  He was staring silently at her, tight-lipped and tense—clearly, he was angry about something already, but since he refused to say a word, she went on.

“Sango told me a little about your life before Kikyo came along, and about your first Christmases at the Order.  She told me how happy you were because of the things Kikyo did for you, and what the two of you were like together.  She talked about how your places in life were similar, and how well you worked together because of it.”  She paused, giving him a gentle smile despite the fact that his gaze was now burning into her and there was a muscle throbbing in his temple.  “Inu-Yasha, she sounded like a lovely person, at least from what Sango described to me.”

“…She was,” he whispered hoarsely, his expression of anger never changing.

Looking relieved to see that he was not so angry that he was past the point of speech yet, she went on.  Turning her attention to her lap, she carefully chose her next words.  “You told me on the roof at the gala the reason why you drank so much-- you feel so much guilt over Kikyo’s death.”

“H-her murder…” he corrected, his voice wavering.

“Oh, Inu-Yasha…” Kagome sighed, resting her head in her hands.  “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, you can’t!  It was her choice to switch sides!  It was her choice to turn her back on the entire human population of the city so that she could have more power!  Why do you still take all the blame for that?!”

“Because she wasn’t evil!!” Inu-Yasha roared back, making Kagome jump in surprise.  “Everybody always blames her for doing what she did, but dammit, they forget what kind of person she was!!  She was a beautiful person, Kagome!  She cared for everyone, she wanted to do good!  She saw, some filthy, homeless, half-breed scum diggin’ through a trash can, and reached out a hand to help!  She gave me a home and a job when nobody else would even consider it!  She didn’t even see me as a homeless half-demon, she saw me as me!  She wasn’t evil, Kagome, she wasn’t!  That damn bastard Naraku just wormed his way into her, playing on her fears and desires, but he never changed her soul!  She only did what she did because she thought it was the right path!  She was a good person, up until her last day!”

When he stopped his tirade, panting heavily and staring wildly at Kagome, red-faced and angry, she looked him straight in the eye.

“And if you truly believe that, Inu-Yasha…” she began slowly, making certain he heard every word, “then don’t you think she would forgive you?”

He seemed to deflate at the statement, shrinking down into simply a very confused man.  “…W…what?”

“If she is so good of a person, don’t you think she would forgive you for what you did?”

He remained silent, his eyes growing wide and his breathing ragged.  Seeing how clearly the simple statement affected him, Kagome went on.

“I never knew Kikyo, Inu-Yasha.  But from what I heard from Sango…  She wouldn’t want you to be this way, to beat yourself up at every opportunity because you hate what you had to do to her.  She loved you, and I would like to think that she understands why you had to do it.  Haven’t you ever thought about why you didn’t die from the bullet she shot you with?”

He slowly shook his head, his expression blank.

Kagome carefully took hold of his hand before she went on.  “I know that Kikyo had spiritual powers similar to mine.  During my training, I learned how to put some of that power into a ranged weapon, like my crossbow, or a gun, and use it to obliterate whatever you hit.  So…  Why, if Kikyo was so proficient with her powers, did she not do the same to you?”

Inu-Yasha froze.

“…I don’t think she ever wanted to kill you, Inu-Yasha.  She wanted you to save the city, and undo her work.  She doesn’t blame you at all.  I think, by punishing yourself so badly, you’re not just hurting you, you’re hurting her as well.”

Suddenly, Inu-Yasha surged to his feet, wrenching his hand out of her grasp as he did so.  “What the hell do you know?” he hissed, snarling down at her as he started to shake with anger.  “You never knew Kikyo, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!  Stop acting like you know her so well!”

Kagome calmly looked up at him, unafraid.  “Inu-Yasha, I’m not saying that I did know her—“

“Then shut the hell up!” he shouted, his limbs beginning to tremble as his temper rose.  “How dare you talk like you knew exactly what Kikyo was doing!  This isn’t any of your business!!  Now get out!  Get out of here!  I don’t wanna see your damn face anymore!”

Still utterly composed, Kagome stood and silently walked around the couch.  But, rather than heading for the front door, she instead slowly started down the hallway, much to Inu-Yasha’s fury.

“Out of the apartment, dammit, not out of the room!  Get out of my damn apartment!!”

Pausing once with her hand on the bedroom door, Kagome turned around once to smile sadly at him before disappearing into the room.

Glaring furiously after her as the door creaked shut, he finally let out a bellow of frustration and turned on his heel, rushing into the kitchen and banging open the cabinet doors.  Pulling out a glass and a liquor bottle with some difficulty, for he was badly shaking, he poured  a glass, the bottleneck rattling against the rim as he did so.  However, when he set the bottle down and made to take a drink, he paused with the tumbler halfway to his mouth.  For some reason, despite the fact that he was furious, despite the fact that his brain was screaming at him to down the glass in a gulp and forget the whole conversation ever happened, his hand would not move any further.

By punishing yourself so badly, you’re not just hurting you, you’re hurting her as well.

Staring hard at the amber liquid inside, he finally could bear it no more.  With a fierce snarl he threw the glass, drink and all, into the sink and then turned and barreled out of his apartment, slamming the door shut and making the walls shake from the force.

As silence permeated the air, Kagome, who had been listening intently at the door of the bedroom, slowly opened it and peered down the hallway, making certain he was gone.  Letting out a soft sigh of relief, she stepped back in the room and went over to the bed to sit down, feeling a little shaky despite her calm exterior.  She still worried for him, for she would not put it past him to escape to the Tap as he always did in an attempt to drown out thoughts that she had dragged up to the surface, but the hope that he would do the right thing kept her calm.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly glanced down at the bed and realized that it needed to made.  Deciding that chores would be a good pastime to distract herself with until he returned, she got and started to pull the pillows off so she could properly lay the blankets out.  However, as she did so something fluttered to the ground that had been hastily tucked underneath a pillow.

Curious, she bent down to pick it up, and recognized it as a photograph.  The sight of a much younger Inu-Yasha, his ears covered up by a red Santa hat greeted her, and next to him was the face of a lovely young woman, two reindeer antlers adorning her head.  Both had shy smiles on, but it was easy to tell the level of joy they were experiencing when the picture was taken.  Kagome was a little taken aback by Inu-Yasha’s eyes—they were such a vibrant, rich amber color, clear and bright.  She was so used to seeing only a dull gold that was glassy and hazy from alcohol that for a moment, she was unsure if it was him.  But there was no doubt.

Smiling gently, she laid the picture on his nightstand; clearly the fact that he still had it and looked at it meant that the photograph was important to him, and it comforted her to know that he wasn’t so callous as he appeared to be.  The fact that he had been gazing at this picture gave her hope that he would pass his own, personal test that he was undergoing right now.  She could do nothing more but pray that he would succeed.

oOoOo

Inu-Yasha flew from rooftop to rooftop, his shoes thundering a rhythm every time he landed.  He ran desperately, as though speed would wash away the flurry of emotions inside him.  Every snowflake felt like a bullet of ice, and the wind bit into his skin like a knife but he never slowed.  Though he hadn’t visited his destination in years, his feet knew exactly where to take him, and he didn’t resist.  For some reason, he knew he had to go.

At last he finally slowed, jumping down from the last building and landing with a soft thud on the snow-covered ground.  Ahead of him stretched a sea of stone mounds, covered in snow, but he paid them little attention, plodding straight for one particular stone underneath the only tree in the graveyard.  Stopping directly in front of it, he slowly knelt down to stare at name carved out of the rock, shivering in the wind that still blew about him.

“Kikyo…” he murmured, his voice nearly gone from his rush.  Carefully, he reached out and brushed the snow off the top of the tombstone, leaving his hand resting on it once it was clear.  For a few moments, he sat as still as the stone before him, memories coming forth in a rush.  Kagome’s words kept coming back to him, over and over.

She loved you…

Suddenly, it seemed his angry defense came crumbling down in seconds.  Tears started to spill over his cheeks as he leaned forward and rested his head against her grave, his shoulders shaking as he began to sob.  He hated hearing those words.  Every one cut into him, twisting his guilt, making it unbearable.  It had never been his intent to hurt Kikyo, from the second he met her to the second he killed her, he had never wanted to hurt her.  He gripped the stone in his claws, his grasp so hard that his nail scratched the rock as his weeping grew more desperate.

“I’m so sorry…” his whispered between sobs, holding onto the stone like it was a lifeline, the only keeping him from dragging himself down to hell.  “I never meant to hurt you…  I loved you, Kikyo…”  As his throat began to close up from emotion, he whispered one last phrase before he could speak no more.

“Please… please forgive me…”

For a few moments longer he continued to weep, unable to move, unable to think of anything else.  However, after a little while, he slowly realized that the wind that had been accompanying him was nowhere near as cold as it had been a few minutes prior.  His sobs beginning to slow, he carefully sat back and glanced around him, though his vision was still blurry from tears. 

Sighing, he swiped roughly at his eyes, and slowly made to stand, his whole body feeling leaden and heavy as he pushed off the ground.  He felt tired and exhausted, and was considering sitting back down for a little while before making the trip home.  However, as soon as he was fully upright, and sudden, powerful gust of warm wind came out of nowhere, smothering him in a strangely comforting sensation before it left once more.

Gasping for breath as he stood there, he carefully stood straight once more for the wind had nearly knocked him over, wondering why he felt quite so odd, so…light.  He realized that it was a though an enormous weight, a huge part of him was gone, taken away by that warm wind and leaving him with something he had never felt in years—joy.  Confused for but a moment, he looked back down at Kikyo’s tombstone, hardly able to believe what had just happened.

“…Thank you…”

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

OoOoOoOoOo

There you have it, I hope you enjoyed the read.  Please, leave a review and let me know what you think.

Thank you to those who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 31: Christmas Eve
“But Mama, you don’t understand, he’s—yes, I know that. Yes, Mama, but-- Will you stop interrupting me, please?”

Inu-Yasha, who had been pretending to watch television while eavesdropping on Kagome’s hushed cell phone conversation in the kitchen, raised an eyebrow at her irritated tone. He knew it took a lot to try her patience, but apparently her mother was succeeding. With a shrug, he turned his attention back to the TV and pulled the cigarette from his lips, expelling a cloud of smoke. Frankly, he didn’t mind her getting into a heated discussion, for it gave him the opportunity to satiate his nicotine craving for a while. He had been doing his best to avoid smoking around Kagome now that he knew how much she disliked it, but in doing so he realized how difficult it was to find a time when he wasn’t around her. It seemed to him that they were constantly side-by-side, spending the vast majority of the day together. While he wasn’t at all bothered by that fact, it did make him understand how difficult it was to resist tugging his pack out cigarettes out every time the light pull of desire niggled at him. He had learned quickly to take advantage of any opportunity he got.

Of course, he thought, staring pensively at his cigarette, I’ll have ample time alone tonight. He couldn’t help but smile wistfully when he recalled how Kagome had approached him a couple of days ago, looking very apologetic when she asked if it was all right if she took a few days off to spend Christmas with her family. Despite his insistence that she should go, that he would be fine on his own, she kept apologizing over and over, and eventually had come up with the idea of asking her mother if he could join them. He assumed that was what the current phone conversation was about.

With a sigh, he leaned back in the couch; he was having mixed feelings about Christmas this year. He was so used to spending them with a bottle of Iro’s finest whiskey, which Iro gave to him as a gift for being his best customer, and then settling in on the couch for the rest of the evening, greeting Christmas day with a dreadful hangover and no memory of the night before. However, this year felt so different.

Feeling at last that Kikyo had forgiven him for what he had done to her, his drinking had decreased quite a bit. In fact, after he had returned home from the graveyard, he didn’t even consider taking a drink until two days later when, right in the middle of enjoying a very pleasant dinner with Kagome, he got a horrible case of the shakes and ended up imbibing far too much, which effectively ruined their meal. Kagome had sternly reminded him the next morning to be careful with his drinking because of how ill he could get if he abstained, but he still chose to cut back far more than he probably should have. In fact, glancing down at the fingers that were holding his cigarette, he realized they were already trembling from lack of drink. He knew he wouldn’t last too much longer without at least getting one glass of whiskey, and, judging from his previous record, one glass would lead to two, which would lead four, which would lead to an entire bottle, putting him right back into the same situation he always found himself on Christmas Eve.

With a soft groan, he rubbed his face in frustration. There was another factor that put a kink in usual Christmas plans—Kagome. She was so concerned over him spending Christmas Eve alone, and was doing her best to get him invited to her family’s Christmas celebrations that he couldn’t help but feel flattered. The fact that she was risking a fight with her mother told him volumes of how much she wanted him there. But still… he wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle the stark change; to go from spending the holiday in a whiskey-induced haze to celebrating the joyful occasion with a large group of people, most of whom he had never met, was a daunting prospect. Especially if he was already feeling the need to drink; trying to resist that in front of a large group of people, even with Kagome there, was not something he wanted to try so quickly.
Then there was the fact that, if he were to join Kagome, he would actually be celebrating Christmas, which had been something he had only done with Kikyo. It would be a huge step to allow himself to find any joy from the holiday without her there, and it was a step he was uncertain that he was ready to take. Yes, he knew that Kikyo had forgiven him, but it was incredibly difficult to break habits that were going on eight years strong.

Blinking, for he suddenly realized that Kagome had stopped speaking and snapped her cell phone shut, he quickly leaned forward to snub his cigarette out in the ashtray just before she entered the room. He paused when he noticed that she just stood silently by the couch, staring down at the floor.

“Kagome?” he asked curiously.

“I’m sorry, Inu-Yasha…” she mumbled miserably, tossing her cell phone onto the coffee table. “I tried, I really did.”

He frowned, a little confused by her demeanor. “Tried what?”

She sighed sadly in reply, looking away. “I asked Mama if I could invite you to spend Christmas with us. And Mama wanted you to come, she really did, but she still said ‘no’.”

“Well… why?” He hated to tell her that he was more than relieved by this.

Scuffing the toe of her shoe into the carpet, she told him, her voice strangely soft as though she were trying to soften the blow, “Well… It’s just… There are going to be kids there, and with your drinking problem, she doesn’t want to take any chances. I’m so sorry, Inu-Yasha—we both are! Mama really would like to meet you, but she just doesn’t think that Christmas Eve isn’t the best time for that. I tried to get her to change her mind, but—“

“Hey.” That one stern word quickly silenced Kagome, who seemed to be afraid that he was going to rise up in an infuriated rage against her for saying such at thing. She watched him carefully as he got to his feet and walked over to her, looking a little worried but not flinching away.
“Listen to me, Kagome,” he growled. “I am gonna be just fine on my own tonight, okay? I don’t want to hear another word about it. I’ve been alone for years, I think I can handle one or two nights. I ain’t gonna have you ruin your own Christmas Eve just because you’re worried about me being here by my lonesome. Now, you better go, and you better have a damn good time, otherwise there will be hell to pay, understood?!”
His voice was so harsh and his expression so fierce that, for a moment, Kagome was uncertain if she had heard him correctly. However, once she reminded herself that he was no longer quite so quick to anger after his sojourn to the graveyard, she realized that he was only concerned for her.

With a light sigh, she nodded and backed off. “Understood. I promise to enjoy myself.”

“Hmph.” Still looking a little irritated, he stomped over to the pile of bags that she had set by the doorway in preparation to leave before she had gotten sidetracked by her phone conversation. “Well then, come on. You’re already late.”

Waiting for her to get her coat on and to find her car keys and purse, he picked up the bags to carry for her, grunting from their weight. “Good grief, woman, how many gifts did you get your relatives?”

She smiled a little sheepishly as she tugged on her hat and mittens. “I can’t help it. My little cousins are so adorable, and they get so excited when they see all those gifts under the tree. It’s hard to resist making them so happy.”

“Hmph.” Scowling, he peered down into one of the bags, where a brightly wrapped gift with a shiny bow was peeking out. Seeing that covered box invoked the sense of curiosity that everyone feels around Christmastime—the wonder of the unknown. Just what exactly lay within the hidden confines of the wrapping paper? Probably just some stupid toy or doll… he mused, regarding the box with distaste. But still, despite his cynicism, he felt a twitch of longing welling up inside him; he had never been able to fully enjoy the thrill of being a child on Christmas, and, while he did have the opportunity to experience that for those precious three Christmases with Kikyo, the feelings had long been lost in the many years and many bottles since. Thus, before he could stop himself, he heard himself mumble, “I want one…”

“Hm? What did you say?” Kagome asked distractedly, for she was in the middle of making sure she had everything.

Flushing a dark red, he quickly snapped, “I didn’t say anything. Now come on, let’s go, you’ve got everything you need and then some.”

With a small smile at the comment, Kagome snagged her overnight bag and purse and then, making certain Inu-Yasha had the gift bags, exited the apartment. She turned to go down the stairs, but before she made it even two steps she felt herself being lifted up in a pair of strong arms, and with a growled, “Hang on,” she was suddenly overcome with the dizzying sensation of freefall. Caught off-guard, she let out a gasp and buried her face into his chest, squeezing her eyes shut. Inu-Yasha had given her a lift over the railing several times before, but she had not been expecting it and it was a terrifying sensation when it came without warning.

When the strangely soft landing finally arrived, Inu-Yasha murmured, “Kagome, you can let go now.” Blinking and opening her eyes, she blushed when she realized that he was standing in the lobby with her still in his arms, waiting for her to release her grip on his shirt so he could set her down. Quickly letting go, he carefully set her on her feet, then strode over and held the door open so she could get through with relative ease. Nodding her thanks as she passed, she went over to her car and opened the trunk, tossing her overnight bag inside and motioning Inu-Yasha to do the same. She noticed as he came over and set the bags inside with a surprising amount of gentleness, that he stared at the gift bags with an odd expression of desire, and he didn’t look away until a couple moments after she slammed the trunk shut.

“Thank you for helping me out to my car,” she told him, squeezing one of his hands in appreciation. “That would have taken me several trips by myself.”

“Hmph. Whatever.”

She smiled sadly at his grumpy reply—his mood seemed to have worsened in the few moments since she had gotten off the phone, and she had a feeling she knew why. “Are you sure you’re going to be all right on your own?” she asked softly, the worry evident in her voice.

Heaving a great sigh, Inu-Yasha rolled his eyes. “I’ll be fine,” he growled, pulling his hand from hers. “Now go. You’re late.”

Knowing she wouldn’t get any more out of him, she knew it was time to go. So, standing up on her tiptoes, she pecked a kiss on his cheek and whispered, “Merry Christmas,” in his ear before quickly climbing into her car and pulling out.

Inu-Yasha stared out after her, as taken aback by her kiss as she was by the sudden lift downstairs. With a light blush creeping up over his cheeks, he quickly turned on his heel and ducked back inside the building.

After making the quick leap up the stairs, he pushed open the door and stepped inside his apartment, pausing in the foyer. Glancing around, he let out a gust of air; this was the first time he had been truly alone in ages. As the weight of the empty space seemed to come down upon him, he realized just how big of a presence Kagome had been to cause this much of a change when she wasn’t around. The kitchen, which he had long ago figured was her favorite room, was dark, and when he flipped on the light switch, he noticed how strange the room was without her. Yes, there was the newspaper sitting out on the table where she always left it, and yes, there was a half-drunk mug of tea nearby that, but without her there, it didn’t look right.

Wandering over to the cup, he picked it up and studied it, a small, sad smile tugging at his lips. He knew it wasn’t in her nature to leave things sitting out, for she was always busying herself with little chores to do. However, she had been so excited about seeing her family for Christmas that he didn’t blame her for leaving her things out.

Placing the cup back down, he slowly walked around the table and eased himself into her chair, his smile slipping off his face as he thought about her joy for the upcoming event. He had more than one reason to feel guilty over it, for it was his fault that she hadn’t seen her family so long in the first place. He had never figured it out until quite recently, but he had required Kagome’s presence daily to get to the place where he was today, and, while she had been more than willing to give that to him, he knew she had to sacrifice time for her friends and family in order to do so. She had never said a word about it to him, but her excitement for today told him volumes of what she had done for him.
There was also the fact that his own melancholy, solitary nature led Kagome to believe that he would spend Christmas feeling depressed, a thought that she couldn’t stand, judging from her insistence that he should spend Christmas at her house. While her suspicions had been true, for he spent every Christmas feeling depressed, he hated to take away from her happiness just because she was worried for him. He had done the best he could to avert her attention from that fact, but he still hoped she wouldn’t worry for him during her own celebrations.

“Worry for me…” he mumbled, setting the mug down with a scoff. “That woman is damn crazy…”

Getting up from the table, he considered putting away the newspaper and washing out the mug, but in the end he decided against it. It gave him a small amount of comfort having at least a sign that Kagome had been there, if Kagome herself was not able to be there. With one last look down at the little scene, he sighed and flipped off the lights, deciding to watch some television to pass the time.

Glancing at the clock as he sat down on the couch, he realized that it was already four o’clock; normally by this time on Christmas Eve he had already broken open a bottle and was beginning to work his way through it. However, even as he looked down at his hands and saw that their trembling had worsened for his body was already beginning to question the whereabouts of its sustenance, he still felt no desire to start drinking.
“Not yet, at any rate…” he muttered, for he knew the symptoms would only get worse as the evening wore on. However, even with that impending time weighing heavy on his mind, he still couldn’t help but hope that perhaps, just maybe, he might make it through the entire night without a drink. It was a long stretch, he knew, but a part of him just wanted to put Kagome’s mind to rest; she clearly was so concerned about him spending the night alone, and he was also fairly certain that the thought of him spending Christmas Eve drunk as a lord did not sit right with her, although she had never voiced that thought.


I’ll just try it… he thought, grabbing the TV remote and pressing the power button. I don’t wanna ruin her Christmas just because I’m unhappy. Damn girl shouldn’t be worrying about that in the first place, but I guess I can’t do anything about that…

Hoping that watching television might distract him from thoughts of what he usually did on Christmas Eve, he slowly started to flip through channels, growing a little irritated by all the Christmas specials that were playing. He supposed he couldn’t avoid it, though, so he finally settled on an old cartoon that was playing.

He watched, at first with bored disinterest but soon with growing curiosity, as two young boys wandered around a Christmas tree lot full of bright lights and garishly colored ornaments. Even the trees themselves were dreadful colors, and when one of the boys knocked on one it made a strange clanging sound, confirming that it was aluminum. However, after a minute of searching, one boy caught sight of a single, pathetic, scraggly tree, and ended up taking it with him. Inu-Yasha stared attentively at the screen as the boy suffered the cruel remarks of his friends for picking out such a sad little tree, even trying to decorate it by hanging a single ornament on it, but the poor tree, under the weight of such a little thing, was weighed down. Inu-Yasha couldn’t help but find a strange connection between him and the tree; he had always felt that way on Christmas Eve, as though the tiniest amount of joy or celebration would drag him down.

Staring as, at the end of the show, the little boy’s friends gathered up the poor tree and took it over to an over-decorated doghouse, using the extra decorations to turn the pathetic thing into a beautiful, full Christmas tree, Inu-Yasha finally turned the television back off once again and sat back in the couch. Strangely enough, the special had given him an idea. Perhaps, if he were to get a tree and decorate it, then Kagome wouldn’t be so worried about him. It would prove to her that because of her help, just like the boy’s friends helped decorate the scraggly tree, he was indeed able to have a pleasant holiday.
For a moment, he sat still, hardly comprehending the implications of such an action. He hadn’t decorated a tree since his last year with Kikyo. And once again, the thought of actually enjoying himself on Christmas was nearly more than he could bear. But… The image of Kagome’s worried face popped into his head, and his hesitation practically melted away. He hated to see her upset, especially over him. If decorating a tree was what it took to put an ease to her fears, then so be it.

Taking a deep breath, he got to his feet and strode over to his hall closet, throwing the door open to try and find his black coat—not that he needed it, but it would help cover up his white hair when he went out into the public. It was still fairly early afternoon, and there were amazing crowds from the vast number of people doing last minute shopping; he didn’t want to risk being spotted. However, once he opened the door, he glanced up at the top shelf and paused. If he remembered correctly, up there was where he had stashed a few memorabilia from his years with Kikyo, and he should still have a few things saved from Christmas.
Though slightly wary as to what he might find, he slowly reached his hand up and felt around, grasping a box of some sort covered in something furry. Praying that the fur wasn’t a dead animal, he pulled it out along with an enormous cloud of dust and began to hack and choke as it descended upon him.

Stepping back, he dropped the box as he reeled from the attack, coughing and sneezing until at last the dust settled and he could see what the items were. Wiping his watery eyes, he blinked a few times and realized that the fur he had felt was actually from a faded red Santa hat. He slowly crouched down next to it and carefully caressed the soft fur, raising a new dust cloud; he remembered the last time he had worn the hat was more than eight years ago. Picking it up, he swiped at it a few times, shaking the dust off the trim and turning the grey coated fur to its natural white, then, taking a deep breath, he pulled the hat on over his ears.

For a moment, he sat in silence, memories coming back to him. Kikyo had always loved him in this hat; she had told him that it was so strangely opposite of his personality that it fit him perfectly. He had never understood that, but since it had made her happy, he had worn it every year.

With a shake of his head, he pulled himself out of his memories and focused his attention on the cardboard box on the floor. Inside where a couple of smaller white boxes with several plain ornaments, and there were also two boxes of colored Christmas lights. Gently reaching in and pulling out an ornament box, he blew the thick layer of dust of it and carefully pulled one out; its color had long since faded and there were a few rust spots showing on the hanger, but he smiled slightly at it anyway. These decorations were given to him by Kikyo during their last Christmas together. She had given them to him in hopes that the next year they would decorate his apartment for Christmas. Of course, that had never happened, but he had kept them anyway out of nostalgia.

“Hmph.” Dropping the ornament back in the box, he picked it up, pulled his coat off the hanger, then slammed the door shut and made his way back into the living. He decided that, rather than facing the hell of a department store to buy more decorations or ornaments, he would use these. With a little bit of cleaning, they would be find. And he also decided to leave the Santa hat on; not only did it effectively cover his dog ears so as not to attract attention, but he hoped it might help him get in the spirit of things. He knew it was a stretch, but not an impossibility.

“All right,” he growled to himself, pulling his coat on and making sure to keep his hair tucked inside. “Time to go get a damn tree.”

Getting the tree was not hard. Bringing the tree back to his apartment was not hard. Setting it up in a stand and covering the base with his new flannel blanket that he kept on the back of the couch in lieu of a tree skirt was not hard either. However, as he started to wind the strands of the lights around the prickly branches, he felt his throat begin to constrict, and he was fairly certain it had nothing to do with the dust. And as he opened a box of ornaments and slowly started to hang them on the tree after wiping each one clean with a paper towel, he felt tears often prick at his eyes and he would quickly shake his head, trying to tell himself that it was merely all the dirt in the air. Once the lights were strung on and the ornaments hung, he dug around in the box, but there was nothing left but dust bunnies, which meant that he wouldn’t have a tree topper. So, with a sigh, he set the box aside and then stood back to look at his handiwork.

As his eyes drifted from the bare top, to the strands of lights that were only half-lit due to age, to the sparse ornaments that had hardly any color and had rust spots everywhere, he suddenly sniffed and looked away, swiping at his eyes. It just didn’t feel right, decorating a tree by himself. He had only ever done it in the company of Sango, Miroku, and Kikyo, and the two trees that they had decorated together had been wonderful, at least in his eyes.

Standing forlornly in the middle of his living room with the pathetic Christmas tree behind him, he slowly realized that the feeling that had been creeping up on him ever since Kagome had left had finally reared its ugly head: loneliness. For a moment he stood stock still, wondering what to do. He knew going to see Kagome was out of the question, though that was what he desperately wanted to do. Going to the Tap and visiting with Iro while satisfying the trembling in his limbs that had been growing exponentially was the second course of action that he wanted to take, but that felt to him like breaking a promise to Kagome.

However, there was a third option, one that took him a second to consider. He could go visit Sango and Miroku. They had invited him to join them for Christmas for years, but he had never showed due to his early start in drinking on Christmas Eve. But, while their offers had dropped off in the past couple years, he supposed that it couldn’t hurt to, at the very least, pay them a visit. Perhaps, if he was very lucky, he might even be invited to stay the night, and get to experience what Christmas morning was like once again.

Blinking, for he suddenly realized what thought had just run through his head, he scowled and stomped out of the living room. “You’re being a damn soft fool…” he growled to himself, plodding into the kitchen and heading for his liquor cabinet. “You know you aren’t gonna make it an entire night without a drink, so why the hell bother with it all?”
As he gripped the knob to the cabinet and flung it open, an image of Kagome once again popped into his head, and he snarled in frustration before slamming the door shut once again. “This’s getting pathetic…” he mumbled, shuffling out of the room. But, no matter how irritated he got with himself, the feeling was still there—he didn’t want to be alone for Christmas. He wanted to know the feeling of celebrating with someone at his side, of sharing that warm glow you got when receiving a gift. And, since the one he really wanted to spend the holiday with was unavailable, Sango and Miroku were the next best thing.

Grumbling loudly to himself, he unearthed an envelope and a piece of paper from his bedroom and, once he scribbled a note on the paper, crammed it in the envelope, and labeled it with Sango and Miroku’s names, and the snagged his coat on the way out the door.

Opting to take the rooftops rather than the streets to Sango’s apartment where he knew the couple spent Christmas, along with Sango’s little brother, he arrived in but a few minutes, and stood panting and flushed in front of the door. Swallowing hard, he carefully raised his shaking fist and knocked three times on the door, taking a step back when he finished. He tried to come up with a good excuse as a way to get himself invited to join them, but nothing had come to mind before Sango opened the door.

For a moment, the two stared at each other in silence, Sango’s expression a look of pure surprise.

“I…Inu-Yasha…?” she finally asked, regaining control of her tongue. “I-I… um, what are you doing here? I-it’s great to see you.”

“Um, hey…” he replied slowly, his tone lacking his usual gruffness around them. He suddenly felt very shy, as though he was intruding upon something he wasn’t supposed to know about. “I just thought I’d stop by…”

“Inu-Yasha?” Miroku had come to the door by this point, managed to get over his surprise a little more quickly than Sango, and his tone projected warmth and welcome. He hadn’t the faintest idea was the demon was standing in the doorway, but he wasn’t about to push him away. “Why, what brings you to our neck of the woods? Please, come in.”

Slowly easing inside the apartment, Inu-Yasha came in just far enough to give Sango room to shut the door behind him, then stood gaping around the room. Being heads of the Order meant that they rarely had the time to celebrate holidays. However, for Christmas the entire company seemed to shut down, which gave its leaders plenty of time to prepare for the holiday. There were garlands of greenery hung all around the ceiling with red velvet bows hanging in every corner, there was a sprig of mistletoe hanging over the doorway to the kitchen (which Inu-Yasha believed Sango probably avoided as much as possible), there was the soft strain of Christmas tunes coming from the CD player, and in the far corner sat a beautifully decorated Christmas tree with a mound of gifts buried under its lush branches. Kohaku, who had been watching a Christmas show on TV and was oblivious to the implications of Inu-Yasha’s presence, turned around and raised his mug of hot cocoa in greeting before turning back to the screen.

“So, Inu-Yasha, what brings you here tonight?” Miroku asked again, trying to sound nonchalant and friendly though Inu-Yasha knew he was quite curious.

“I-I… um…” It was difficult to find his voice after seeing how bright and cheery Sango’s apartment had been decorated—his own tiny Christmas tree was nothing compared to all this, and the sense of longing that had been pulling at him all evening was stronger than ever.

Finally turning to face his two friends, he swallowed hard and reached into his pocket, pulling out the hastily scribbled envelope. “I just came to give you this. A… a sort of Christmas present, if you will.”

Sango, though looking a little worried because his hand was trembling badly, accepted the envelope, studying him curiously as she did so.
“Can we open it now?” she asked, and he nodded in reply.

Splitting it open with her finger, Sango tugged out the sheet of notebook paper and unfolded it so that both she and Miroku, who was peering over her shoulder, could read it.

“The bearer of this paper,” the letter began in a shaky hand, for apparently Inu-Yasha’s shaking had been afflicting him at the time of writing it, “has the permission to use the services of Inu-Yasha for ONE battle of their choosing, no arguing or complaining.” And there was nothing else on the paper, save for Inu-Yasha’s signature scribbled at the bottom.

Miroku glanced up at the demon when he finished reading. “Inu-Yasha, I don’t understand, I thought you said that you wouldn’t—“

“I’m not going to fight in this war,” he growled, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “However, that paper will give you the opportunity to send me on one assignment for it. It doesn’t matter what the assignment is, I will do it. But only one time, got it? Don’t go getting’ any ideas.”

Sango and Miroku were both silent for a moment, hardly believing their ears. Though their gift was only a simple piece of notebook paper written over with a ballpoint pen, it was probably the most meaningful gift Inu-Yasha had ever given them. They could hardly speak from emotion.

Finally, Sango carefully refolded the paper and stuck it back in the envelope, tucking it into her pocket. “…Would you like to stay for a while, Inu-Yasha?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

The question, though it was one Inu-Yasha had been hoping to hear, suddenly didn’t sound as good as he had hoped. Upon seeing their reaction to his gift, he immediately began to regret it; the warm feeling he had gotten in the pit of his stomach the first time he had given gifts out for Christmas was beginning to creep up on him, and this time, rather than feeling elated, he was gripped with terror. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to happily celebrate the holiday with friends, he wasn’t ready to open presents on Christmas morning, he was ready to sip hot chocolate on the couch, he wasn’t ready for any of that.

His breathing becoming labored as his trembling seemed to seep into his limbs and the blood started to drain from his face, he quickly shook his head and backed up a few steps, groping for the doorknob. “N-no…” he mumbled, waving his free hand while the other searched for the doorknob. “No, I got other th-things to do… I just wanted to… to give you…”
Finding the knob at last, he twisted it open and practically fled the apartment with only a rushed, “I gotta go,” by way of farewell.

Sango and Miroku peered out after him as he ran down the hallway and leapt down the stairs in a single bound, wondering what on earth had just happened. They stood there for a few moments, until finally Kohaku wormed his way in front, trying to see what they were looking at.

“What was wrong with him?” he asked casually, still holding his mug of hot cocoa.

Shaking her head, Sango replied faintly, “I’m not sure…”

oOoOoOo

Inu-Yasha nudged open the door to his apartment, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders slumped; he had given up. He couldn’t last any longer. He had tried so hard to enjoy his Christmas so Kagome wouldn’t worry, but when he finally had the opportunity to join with his friends, he had chickened out. He had been too afraid to let go and enjoy himself that he had run away.

Shrugging out of his coat, though he forgot he still had the Santa hat on, he trudged into the kitchen and retrieved a fresh bottle and a glass before returning to the living room and making his place on the couch. He figured that since he had already failed in his other pursuits that night, it hardly mattered if he started drinking now.

Pausing before he opened the bottle in order to light a cigarette, he poured himself a full glass of whiskey and then, just before he put it to his lips and drained its entirety, he murmured softly, “I’m sorry, Kagome.”

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

“Go on now, go to bed,” Mrs. Higurashi chastised the younger children gently as they pattered around the living room, clearly far too excited to sleep. “Sota, will you help them get changed into their pajamas, please?”

Sighing heavily, for this was not one of his favorite tasks to do on Christmas Eve, the young man stood up to his full height of six foot one, and when he did, all the children stopped running about, staring expectantly at him. After a moment of silence, his face suddenly contorted into a humorous grimace, his hands formed claws and he let out a bellow and started to chase the children. All of them, shrieking with laughter and pretend fear, ran up the stairs with him hot on their heels, and soon their shouts were muffled to a more reasonable level.

The adults that remained downstairs had a good chuckle out of Sota’s display, as they did every year. However, Mrs. Higurashi noticed that, unlike the rest of her relative’s, Kagome’s laughter was nowhere near as joyful, and it died down far quicker, to be replaced with a pinched expression of worry and concern. In fact, that same expression had been on her face the entire evening, from the moment she had arrived. She hid it well, for none of her other relatives had noticed, but Mrs. Higurashi had always been aware of her daughter’s moods, and she was certain something was bothering her.

Deciding that it was time to do something about it, for the girl’s worry hadn’t ceased all evening, Mrs. Higurashi stood and clapped her hands, hoping to get everyone’s attention. “Listen, now that the children are occupied, it is time to begin wrapping presents. Father, will you please help everyone gather their gifts in the kitchen while Kagome and I collect the wrapping paper?”

As everyone climbed off the couches, floor, and armchairs to assist the elderly man with the gifts, Kagome silently followed her mother down the hallway to the closet where they kept the paper. However, once she was certain they were alone, Mrs. Higurashi turned to her daughter and gently cupped Kagome’s chin in her hand.

“Kagome, what’s bothering you?” she asked softly, making sure to catch the girl’s gaze. “You’ve been quiet and sad all evening, and this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. Won’t you tell your mother what’s wrong?”

Kagome sighed and stared down at the floor; she knew that there was no way to avoid telling her mother what was going on. “I’m sorry, Mama…” she began. “I don’t mean to be so depressing. It’s just… Well, I’m just so worried about Inu-Yasha.”

“Because I wouldn’t let him come tonight?” Mrs. Higurashi asked; her tone was not accusatory, but rather apologetic. She really had wanted to meet the demon, but her concern for her family’s safety came first.

“Well, sort of. It’s just that he’s spending Christmas Eve all alone in his apartment, and I know that he’s feeling confused and conflicted right now because Kikyo forgave him but he’s still not certain about how he feels, and with Christmas being such an odd time of year for him that he won’t know what to do and I’m afraid that he—“

Mrs. Higurashi, who had been listening patiently to her daughter’s rambling simply smiled gently at her, and Kagome finally realized she needed to stop speaking so her mother could.

“Kagome, why don’t you call him?”

Kagome blinked; the thought had never even occurred to her. “Call him?”
“Yes. It will make you feel better, and hopefully it will make him feel better.” She reached out and squeezed her daughter’s hand in reassurance. “Nobody should feel sad on Christmas Eve, right? Now go, use the phone in my bedroom for privacy. I can handle the wrapping paper by myself.”

Placing a quick kiss on her mother’s cheek, Kagome practically flew down the hallway into the bedroom. Mrs. Higurashi stared after her for a moment, then smiled and shook her head. She had realized long ago that Kagome was confusing her care for Inu-Yasha with love, and she could only hope that Kagome would recognize it soon enough.

oOoOo

Inu-Yasha sighed heavily once he polished off yet another glass of whiskey, sinking deeper into the couch so he could prop his feet up on the coffee table. Now that his world was back to the familiar haziness that accompanied drunkenness, he was pleased to feel so much more at peace. All of his conflicting emotions from earlier that evening were dampened by the liquor, until only the simplest of emotions came about. Right now he knew two things: he was relieved to be drunk again, and he was still terribly lonely.

During the course of his drinking session, he had also been watching Christmas shows on TV, and had realized that in none of them was there a person that didn’t have a happy ending celebrating Christmas with friends and family. And the more specials he watched, the more he wanted that same happy ending. However, he knew that he had gotten his chance for that earlier, but had blown it due to fear, which only spurred his drinking on even more. Now, three-quarters of a bottle into the evening and still minus a companion, he was more miserable than ever.

Bringing the whiskey bottle from its place on the side table over to his now empty glass, he started to pour another, then practically leaped out of his skin when the telephone rang right by his ear, making him spill some of his freshened drink. With an annoyed growl at the offending appliance, he settled back down, returning the bottle to the side table and leaning back into the cushions. He figured that it was most likely Sango and Miroku calling, hoping to pepper him with questions about his embarrassing appearance at their apartment earlier, and since he really hoped to forget about that particular episode, he opted to let the phone ring rather than answer. Pleased at the very least to have the protection of the Santa hat still covering his ears so the sound was slightly muffled, he gave the phone one last glare before bringing the tumbler to his lips once again.

*beep* “Hi, Inu-Yasha, it’s Kagome. Um, I was just calling to say—“ The second he heard the voice he had been dying to hear all evening drift through the answer machine, he quickly sat up and groped for the phone, now cursing the formerly precious liquid for making his vision so blurry.
“Kagome!” he said loudly once he finally picked up the device and brought it to his hear, praying that she hadn’t hung up yet.

“Oh! Um, hello to you to, Inu-Yasha,” came Kagome’s rather surprised voice from the other end. “I’m sorry, did I wake you? I know it’s kind of late to be calling…”

“Uh, no, no I wasn’ sleepin’…” he mumbled, his cheeks burning as he realized how desperate his greeting to her must have sounded. “I was jus’… um, watchin’ TV... H-how are you doin’?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” she replied, and he could tell from her voice that she was smiling. “Sota just chased the children upstairs to bed, and now all us adults who kept putting off wrapping gifts are now getting to it in the kitchen. We complain dreadfully about it, but it’s our own fault, I suppose,”

“Yeah…” Silence reigned for an awkward moment, until Inu-Yasha finally asked, “Um, was there a reason you called me?”

He heard a soft sigh, and then came Kagome’s voice, sounding a little worried. “…I’m concerned about you, Inu-Yasha. I just wanted to make sure you were doing all right. You seemed a little depressed when I left the apartment earlier. And, I don’t mean to be rude, but you sound like you’ve been drinking. Is everything all right?”

He stayed silent for a long moment, wanting dearly to tell her that no, everything was not all right. He wanted to beg her to come over to his apartment, or to allow him to join her and her family. But he knew that he couldn’t. Him and his damning drink would have to spend the night alone. Finally, after a silence that was far too long and spoke volumes to Kagome, he muttered quietly, “…I’m fine.”

There was another awkward pause, and then Kagome finally said, “I’m sorry, Inu-Yasha, I have to go now. Grandpa needs my help wrapping something.”

A little sad that the conversation was ending so soon, Inu-Yasha slowly nodded. “Oh. Okay. You go an’ do that.”

“…Merry Christmas, Inu-Yasha.”

“…Merry Chris’mas.”

Once he slowly placed the phone back in its receiver, after having to try a couple times to make it, he moaned and rested his forehead on the arm of the couch. Hearing Kagome’s voice only made his longing for her increase to the point where he could hardly stand it. With a sharp growl, he snatched the bottle off the side table and filled his glass to the brim, gulping it down like water. Then, resting his head down again, he groaned pathetically, “…I don’ wanna be alone…”

oOoOo

Placing the phone back in its cradle on her mother’s nightstand, Kagome slowly let her hand slide down to her lap, where she was staring blankly. Hearing how small and sad Inu-Yasha’s voice was over the phone made her guilt for leaving him there alone increase tenfold. She didn’t know how she was going to go back out there and face her family with a smile; she could hardly keep herself from crying.

As she sat silently on the bed, trying to compose herself, the door slowly creaked open and Mrs. Higurashi carefully stepped inside, studying her daughter for a moment before going over to sit next to her on the bed. Gently she put an arm around Kagome’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug, and soon the sobs started.


“I’ve made a mistake, Mama…” she cried into her mother’s neck. “I was being selfish. I hadn’t seen my family in so long that I thought a couple of days wouldn’t make a difference, but I was wrong. He’s so sad, Mama, I could tell from his voice… And it’s my fault for leaving him alone…”

Rubbing Kagome’s arm soothingly as she wept, Mrs. Higurashi finally murmured, “You know, Kagome, if you think you did the wrong thing by leaving him alone, then no one is stopping you from going to him. I’m certainly not stopping you.”

Though still not quite finished crying, Kagome carefully pulled away so she could stare at her mother, sniffling a little. “Really?”

Mrs. Higurashi smiled. “Yes. All I ask is that you are back in time to open presents with your family tomorrow morning. Now go, I’ll make up an excuse for the relatives. You must to go where you are needed.”

Grasping her mother in a tearful hug, Kagome was off the bed and out the door in mere moments, so fast to where Mrs. Higurashi shook her head in wonder.

The drive to Inu-Yasha’s apartment seemed to take an interminable amount of time, for there were plenty of holiday revelers that were wandering about the city who got in her way, but once she finally made it she barely had her car off before she was running up the stairs, taking them two at a time. And, though she simply did not have the stamina to maintain that speed to the seventh floor, she still made it in record time, pausing only to gasp for breath for a few moments before knocking lightly on the door and going inside.

Though a little surprised to see the changes in décor he had made for the few hours she had been gone, her attention quickly focused on the lump on the couch. While the ragged Santa had that was perched lopsided on his head and covering one eye made a smile tug at her lips, she couldn’t help but feel guilt squeeze around her heart when she noticed the completely empty whiskey bottle on the side table, and how pathetic he looked sprawled out on the couch with a noticeable frown on his face.

“Inu-Yasha…” she said softly, taking a step towards him.
Upon hearing his name, he blearily turned his gaze in her direction in confusion. However, once his hazy eyes finally distinguished who she was, his entire demeanor changed. His frown slid off his face and his expression turned hopeful, the one ear that had been freed when his hat had slipped perked up from its drooping position, his one eye that was uncovered seemed to brighten, and, despite the full bottle of whiskey sloshing around in his head, he attempted to sit up, clearly trying to go to her. “Kagome…” he slurred, as though saying her name to make certain she was truly there.

Letting out a sob and a laugh at the same time, Kagome crossed the distance between them in two steps and pulled him in an embrace that he gladly succumbed to. She gripped him as hard as she could, weeping for the second time that evening as she buried her face into his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Inu-Yasha…” she sobbed. “I shouldn’t have left. I should have stayed right here. I can’t stand the thought of you spending Christmas all alone.”

Taken a little aback by the enthusiastic greeting, Inu-Yasha grinned and wrapped his arms around her, returning the embrace. He couldn’t recall a time when he had been happier to see her. The dark, depressing thoughts that had been plaguing him all evening seemed to dissipate in a moment with her arrival, and he hardly knew what to do with himself.

“Yuh…yer here…” he mumbled stupidly, unable to keep a smile off his face.

“Yes,” Kagome sniffled, slowly sitting up and realizing that she was sprawled across his lap. He didn’t seem to mind, or even notice, but she felt a flush burning her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Inu-Yasha. Please, won’t you accept my apology?”

Though he still wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for, he smiled sleepily at her, hoping to reassure her that he wasn’t angry. “O’ course I do…” he slurred, groping for her hand to hold. “Yer here…”

Wiping her eyes in an attempt to stop crying, Kagome knew that he wasn’t in his right mind, but at least he was much happier than he had been the rest of the evening. So, a smile slowly beginning to grow on her face, she got up and moved to the end of the couch, sitting down and patting her lap. “Here,” she suggested gently, “come lie down.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Though it took a little work in his drunken state, he finally rested his head on her lap and sighed with pleasure, nuzzling against her. Though a little surprised, for he had never been quite so affectionate before, Kagome slowly started to stroke his hair, pausing for a moment to pull off his Santa hat.

“Is this the hat Kikyo gave you?” she asked, resuming her stroking with her left hand as she studied the hat in her right.

“Mm…” he grunted in agreement, seeming to distracted by her touch to say much more. Kagome, however, was quite pleased with his answer; it was a sign of progress that he had chosen to take such a big step on his own.
They sat in silence for a few moments, Kagome smoothing out his mussed hair as his eyes slowly drooped shut, lulled by the soothing motion.

Pausing one again in the motion, she whispered into his furry ear, “I like your Christmas tree. You did a good job.” Though the tree did indeed look pretty pathetic, she could tell he had worked hard on it, and that was all she cared about.

A small smile stretched across his features, and he murmured, “I did it… for you…”

“…For me?”

“For you.” He seemed to be too tired to explain, so Kagome decided it could wait until morning, so she went back to stroking his hair in silence, which he seemed to be the most content with.

However, the next, and last time they spoke that evening was initiated by him, just as he was teetering on the brink of unconsciousness. “I’m glad you’re here…” he mumbled softly into her legs, and then he finally drifted off to a well-deserved rest.

Kagome, who was terribly moved by such the simple statement, for it solidified her choice to come back, couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she whispered, “Thank you, Inu-Yasha.”

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Well, there you have it. Chapter 31, officially the longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoyed it. Please, leave a review and tell me what you think!

Thank you to those who reviewed! ^__^

Guilty Hero

Chapter 32: Christmas Morning

“Inu-Yasha…”  Kagome’s  voice broke into Inu-Yasha’s thoughts, and for a moment he thought a very pleasant dream was about to begin.  However, as her voice grew louder the closer to consciousness he came, he soon realized that it wasn’t a dream at all, so he made an effort to wake up and greet her properly.  Fighting off the remnants of an entire bottle of whiskey, however, was easier said than done, and it took Kagome a couple more attempts to rouse him before he finally awoke.

“Inu-Yasha…  Inu-Yasha, wake up, it’s Christmas!”  She shook his arm gently, though he could tell from her tone of voice that she was quite eager for him to awaken.  He moaned and shifted a bit on the couch, trying to let her know that he was up so she would stop shaking him.

Once he felt her remove her hand from his arm, he slowly dragged his eyes open, cringing from the harsh light in the room.  However, Kagome’s blurry figure in front of him slowly came into focus, distracting him from the lights that caused his head to pound so badly.  She was smiling brightly at him, clearly excited about something, and he stared blearily at her, a little confused.  What on earth could she possibly be excited about at such an ungodly hour?

“Good morning!” she said cheerfully, pleased to see him awake.  “Well, afternoon, I should say,  but it’s technically Christmas morning for you.  Now come, up, up!”  She rapidly motioned for him to sit up.

Too groggy to argue against her rather strong will, Inu-Yasha regretfully left the comfort of his soft pillows and pushed himself upright on the couch, groaning and shutting his eyes as the world spun for a moment with a nauseating motion that made him wonder if he would need to make a mad dash for the kitchen sink.   However, once he was sitting up, Kagome pushed a glass of her hangover cure in his hand.

“There you go.  Drink up.”

He didn’t need to be told twice before swallowing the cool, though nasty-tasting water that would eventually help his nausea recede and relieve his headache.  While he was doing so, he noticed Kagome still crouched in front of him on the floor, eagerly watching him.  Pulling the now-empty glass away from his lips, he gave her a questioning look, still a little too dazed to speak yet.

Seeing that he was done, Kagome ignored his gaze and pulled the glass from his hand, replacing it with a mug of coffee.  “Here.  A few sips of that should help you wake up.”

Gratefully accepting the mug, he took a long drink of the blessed liquid, sighing a little as the warmth seeped through his chilled limbs and helped to dispel the fog that was clouding his head.  Once again, he realized that Kagome was still watching him with a look of excitement on her face that made him a little nervous, but it took a few more sips of coffee before he could speak his mind.

“What’re you lookin’ at me like that for?” he muttered, rubbing his head in an attempt to ease the throbbing.

Her smiling growing wider, she replied mysteriously, “Notice anything different around here?”

Frowning, for he felt it was far too early for guessing games, he grudgingly dragged his gaze around the room, although it took him but a minute to spot something out of the ordinary.  Resting against the table his TV sat on was a large, lumpy, red and white stocking.  Blinking at it for a moment, he finally growled, “What is it?  What is that?”  Even in his ears, he sounded a little too inquisitive, but Kagome seemed to be pleased by his curiosity.  Quickly getting to her feet, she gathered up the stocking and brought it over to him, removing his coffee mug and replacing it with the heavy object.

“Merry Christmas!” she cried, sitting down on the coffee table so she could watch him properly.  “It’s Christmas morning, and what’s Christmas morning without your own stocking?  Go on, stick your hand in there!”

For a moment he sat perfectly still, staring at the red and white mound of fur in his lap.  He appeared to be having difficulty computing the situation, until he finally looked up at her, concern in his eyes.  “…Christmas morning?” he repeated slowly.  “Then what the hell are you doin’ here?  You should be at your own home, celebrating Christmas with your family.”

Kagome waved the comment away like she would a fly.  “Oh nonsense.  It’s one in the afternoon, Inu-Yasha.  I had Christmas with my family hours ago.  Right now the kids are playing with their gifts and the adults are taking naps because they stayed up too late wrapping presents.  So I figured it was the perfect time to come visit you.   So no, this is your Christmas morning, it just happens to be taking place in the afternoon.  Now, quit worrying about such silly stuff and dig in there!”

Even with that worry cast aside, Inu-Yasha still sat motionless, staring down at his stocking.  Slowly, he fingered the soft fur.  “I’ve… never had a stocking before…” he mumbled.  Not even during his three Christmases with Kikyo had he received a stocking. 

“Well then,” Kagome replied, “all the more reason to find out what’s inside, hm?”  When he looked up at her with a worried expression, she smiled encouragingly at him, hoping to ease his discomfort enough to enjoy the gifts inside.  Seeing her smile, his expression of worry eased slightly, and he carefully, with great hesitation, stuck his hand inside the stocking.

The first thing he pulled out was an enormous red apple.  Glancing at Kagome looking a little confused, she explained, “It’s a classic tradition.  I thought you shouldn’t miss out on it.”

Nodding, he sniffed it once, for the smell of a fresh apple was delicious even with a hangover, then set it next to him on the couch and reached in the stocking once more.  Next he removed a large can of cashew nuts, and once again looked to Kagome.  “Another tradition?” he asked.

She smiled sheepishly at him.  “Not really.  But I know you like to eat, and nuts are the perfect thing to snack on every now and again.”

She noticed that, as he nodded once again and set the nuts by his apple, that he was slowly growing a little more confident, and a little less worried about the whole affair.  She knew that he wasn’t going to react in quite the same way as her little cousins did on Christmas morning, but she hoped he would warm up to the idea quickly enough, and perhaps even enjoy himself for once.

Inu-Yasha, who was oblivious to Kagome’s musing as he reached inside his stocking once again, couldn’t help but feel a bit of excitement creeping over him as he wondered what else could possibly be inside.  He was starting to feel what everyone felt when they received their stockings on Christmas morning; a burning curiosity as to what was held inside the oddly-shaped bag that was never satiated until you had felt all the way into the toe.  The thrill of pulling gift after gift out with still more to go was slowly coming over him, and he felt around inside with a growing eagerness.  However, when his fingers closed around a box that felt quite familiar to him, he pulled out the item and looked at Kagome, quite confused.

“Cigarettes?” he asked.  “But you hate these…”

Hoping to reassure him, for once again he looked like he was more worried than joyful about the situation, she replied, “Don’t worry, Inu-Yasha.  Christmas is about what the gift-receiver likes, not what the gift-giver likes.  I know you like cigarettes, so I gave you cigarettes.  That’s how simple it is.”

“But…  You said, back when I was in the hospital, that you would never buy me these.”

With a smile at how hesitant he was to accept the gift, she said with a tone of finality, “That’s the beauty of Christmas, Inu-Yasha.  Things that never happen do.  Just don’t expect me to buy you anymore the rest of the year, all right?  Now go on, stick your hand back in there and quit arguing.”

A tiny grin tugging at his lips, which pleased Kagome to no end, Inu-Yasha set the pack of cigarettes aside and reached into the stocking once more, this time having to dig all the way in the bottom to grab the last item.  As a crackling noise was created as his fingers closed around several cellophane wrappers, he pulled his hand out with several tiny candy bars clutched in his fist.

“Candy in your stocking,” Kagome offered by way of explanation.  “Another classic tradition I wasn’t about to let you go without.  And I think that’s it.”

Setting the now empty stocking aside, Inu-Yasha stared at the little collection that had amassed next to him on the couch, giving a small sigh of pleasure.  It was odd how content he felt, for the feeling of receiving such gifts was very new to him.  However, he did know that he liked the feeling very much, and he couldn’t help but murmur, “Thank you, Kagome,” while a blush stained his cheeks.

Feeling terribly pleased with herself, for she wasn’t sure how readily Inu-Yasha would have accepted her idea of even having a ‘Christmas morning’ at all, she reached forward and gave him a short, strong hug.  “You’re welcome.”  As she pulled away, she could hardly keep herself from laughing, for his blush seemed to explode as his cheeks burned a bright red that ran all the way up to his ears.

Turning away to give him a chance to get over his embarrassment, she rustled around in her bag for a moment before finally facing him once again, this time with a packet of white tissue paper in hand.

“So, I noticed yesterday that you didn’t have a topper for your tree.”

Inu-Yasha frowned for a moment, trying to recall when Kagome had seen his tree, but his memory was a little foggy concerning the day before.  However, he did remember feeling strangely happy at one point, and he also recalled how comfortable he had been right before he had fallen asleep, and he knew the only time he had been so comfortable was when he was resting on Kagome’s lap.  She must’ve come over last night, then… he thought, a little surprised that she would do such a thing for him.  Still, for having remembered such an intense burst of happiness, he must have been pleased to see her.  A flush still burning on his cheeks, he decided to focus on what Kagome was saying.

“…I thought you might want one, but since the department stores were so busy and traffic was so bad, I decided to enlist the help of my cousins, and after we opened presents this morning, we made you a tree topper.  Here.”  She handed him the tissue paper package.  “Be careful, though, it’s kind of fragile.”

Accepting it, he slowly pulled away the layers of tissue paper, mindful of his claws, until at last the item inside was laid out in full display.  It was an oddly-shaped star, with a couple sides slightly squashed.  It was made of metallic pipe cleaners in an odd array of colors including gold, red, purple, green, and blue, and was covered with dried glue that had amassed during the addition of several sequins, glitter, plastic beads, and puff balls, all in garish, neon colors.  A popsicle stick had been glued to the back to give it stability, and there were three pipe cleaners hanging off the bottom that were obviously meant to wrap around the top of the tree.

Kagome, watching Inu-Yasha as he stared motionlessly at it, felt the need to explain.  “I know, I know, my cousins got a little carried away with the project, but when I told them how sad you were on Christmas, they wanted to cheer you up.  And of course, you absolutely can just toss the thing when we’re done here, but I thought, at least for Christmas Day, you might want something on the top of your tree.”

Inu-Yasha, who had been silent only because his throat was so constricted that he couldn’t speak, slowly pushed himself to his feet, holding the star gently in his hands.  Pausing for just a moment, for his hangover wasn’t about to relinquish its grip on him just because it was a holiday, he shook his head to stop the room from spinning and then carefully went over to his tree.

“It’s fine…” he grunted, his voice a little hoarse.  Reaching up, he twisted the pipe cleaners around the top and pulled them tight, then back away a couple of steps so he could get the full effect.

In general, the tree still looked pretty pathetic.  Half the lights were still dead, the ornaments were still dull and rusty, and the topper on top clearly looked like a group of four year olds had made it.  But once again Inu-Yasha’s throat constricted with emotion at the sight, for he had never had a complete Christmas tree in his apartment before.

Casting his gaze down so he could gain control over himself once again, he suddenly stopped dead when he noticed something sitting under the tree.  There was a box wrapped in a shiny red paper with a green bow on top, and was so large that he marveled how he could have missed it before.

“Kagome, what is that?  What is it?” he asked suddenly, making her jump in surprise.  Following the direction his finger was pointing at, a large grin split her face when she realized what he had finally noticed.

“I guess it’s time to open your present,” she said.  “Go on, sit down on the couch again, I’ll bring it to you.”

“But… I already got presents,” he said slowly, easing onto the sofa cushions as Kagome went over to the tree.  “My stocking, remember?”

“Oh, Inu-Yasha…” she sighed, shaking her head in mock pity.  “Stockings and presents are two totally different things.  You get both on Christmas morning.  Now…”  Bending down to pick up the box, Inu-Yasha watched in fascination and growing excitement as Kagome strained to lift it, for it was clearly very heavy.  Then, carrying it over to him, she set it on the ground in front of him with a thump.  “There.”  Quickly going over to sit in the armchair so she could watch him, she shooed him on.  “Go on!  Open it!  It’s yours!”

Pausing only for a moment, for his curiosity was getting the better of him, he tore at the wrapping paper, feeling like a little pup as he ripped it away.  It was terribly fun, and he was almost sad once it was off, except that his desire to find out what was inside cast aside that feeling.  With one more glance at Kagome, who nodded in encouragement, he sliced open the tape that held the thin, white, cardboard lid shut and lifted it up.

Inside lay, in stark contrast to the white box, a slightly familiar red yarn.  Reaching inside, Inu-Yasha pulled it out and realized that the yarn had actually been woven into an enormous, heavy quilt.  Easily seven foot long and just as wide, it was made up of several crochet blocks sewn together, and, as he studied the blocks closer, he realized why they were so familiar.

“This… this is what you were working on when you first came here…” he said finally, lowering the blanket so he could look at Kagome.  “You’ve been working on this the whole time?”

She nodded, still a little worried about his reaction; he hadn’t shown any outright joy or pleasure, but nor had he shown his dislike for it, so she was a bit confused.  “Yes.  I noticed the first time I came in here how so many of your blankets were in such poor condition that I thought you might want a good, homemade quilt.”  She blushed a little.  “It turned into a bigger project than I expected, so I had to have Mama help me sew it together in the end—it’s what we did last night, actually.  And I know we also just bought you all those blankets and things at the department store, but you never can have too many blankets, right?”

She watched him closely, for his expression was unreadable.  He was holding the blanket in one fist and running his fingers over the soft yarn with the other, staring blankly at it.

“Inu-Yasha?” she asked softly, growing concerned.  “Don’t… don’t you like it?”

Suddenly, he stood up, setting the blanket down on the couch.  “Stay there,” he snapped, and quickly dashed out of the room and down the hallway, and a moment later Kagome heard his bedroom door slam shut.

Inu-Yasha leaned against the door, panting a little.  Tears pricked at his eyes as the emotions he had been trying to hold back the entire time surged forth.  He hated to have Kagome see him so weak, but the holiday had come so swiftly and without warning upon him that he couldn’t hold back.  Letting out a single sob, he turned and rested his forehead against the door, wiping roughly at his eyes to try and stop the flow.

The whole experience was surreal for him.  He just couldn’t understand why someone would go to such lengths for him to make certain that he would have a good holiday.  Kagome had thrown together a stocking, she had commissioned a star to be made for him, she had done her best to generate the feel and excitement of Christmas morning, and she had even been working on a gift, a beautiful, amazing gift, for him since she had accepted the job as his personal nurse nearly two months ago.  He just could not comprehend why someone would put so much effort into a day for him.  All he knew was that he was happier than he had been in years—hell, in his entire life—and it was all because one woman cared enough about him to want to help.

Still sniffling and swiping at tears that kept overflowing, he shuffled over to his closet and flung the door open, then began to dig around in the back in search of something.  Kagome had been so kind to give him such a wonderful gift that he knew what he had gotten for her was nothing in comparison, but it was all he had, and she certainly wasn’t going to leave his apartment without it.

Back in the living room, Kagome sat in the armchair, still trying to figure out Inu-Yasha’s reaction to her present.  She had hoped he would like it, for the hours she had spent putting it together had not been the most pleasant because of its enormous size.  However, she had seen how Inu-Yasha tended to burrow into his blankets and wrap himself up in a cocoon with them, so she made certain the afghan was big enough for him to do that.

Does he not like the color…? she pondered to herself, leaning forward to finger a corner of the blanket.  But I asked him once, and he said he liked it.  Well… maybe not.  But he didn’t say he didn’t like it.  He was even sober at the time, I’m sure of it. So what does he not like about it? 

Her musing was interrupted when Inu-Yasha finally emerged from the bedroom and stomped into the living room, tossing at her a dusty brown paper bag that was tied together with some string at the top.

“Here,” he grunted, flopping down on the couch and immediately pulling the blanket over his lap.  “That’s for you.  It ain’t much…”

Realizing that the bag was Inu-Yasha’s way of wrapping a present, she glanced curiously at him before gingerly tugging the string off the top, bringing up a cloud of dust as she did so.  Clearly, he had gotten this gift a while ago.  Peering inside, for her curiosity was too great to savor the moment, she suddenly gasped in surprise and quickly reached down, grasping the gift and pulling it from the confines of the bag.

“Inu-Yasha…” she said, running her hand over the familiar, cartoon-kitten covered notebook set as the paper bag fluttered to the ground.  “You remembered?  This was from over a month ago!  During our fight with the carrion crow, even!”

Inu-Yasha was staring down at his hands, which were fidgeting with the edge of his new afghan.  “Well… you… really liked it then,” he mumbled, avoiding her gaze.  “I went back a few days later and picked it up.  You… you do still want it, don’t you?”

Since he had his head down, he didn’t notice when she stood up and walked over to him.  However, when she planted a kiss on his cheek, he quickly looked up in surprise, flushing a tomato red.

“Inu-Yasha, I love it,” she said, smiling gently at him.  “Thank you.”

Fumbling about for a moment, he finally looked away again and muttered softly, “I like my new blanket…”

Pleased beyond measure, Kagome gave him a quick squeeze around the shoulders before standing up straight.  “Well.  Merry Christmas, right?”

“M-merry Christmas.”

Once Kagome cleared away the wrapping paper and got the room back in order, she returned to stand in front of Inu-Yasha, who still had the blanket on his lap and was sipping at his now-cold cup of coffee, looking hesitantly happy.

“I’m afraid the time has come for me to leave…” she said sadly, picking up her notebook set from the coffee table and carefully placing it inside her bag.  “I promised Mama I’d help her prepare the big Christmas dinner for the family.”

“Oh…”  Inu-Yasha’s joy suddenly seemed to dissipate, for he had been enjoying himself quite a bit with her there that afternoon.  “Okay.”

She smiled sorrowfully down at him.  “I’m sorry.  I asked Mama again if I could invite you over for dinner, but many of our relatives brought wine as gifts.  It would be rude not to use it tonight, and Mama didn’t want to put you in a situation that was too tempting.”

Inu-Yasha waved a hand, trying to pretend like he wasn’t upset.  “No, no.  It’s fine.  I-I’m still not feelin’ too well anyway.”

With a slight frown, she nodded and went over to the foyer to put on her coat.  Inu-Yasha followed after her, picking up her bag from the armchair so she wouldn’t have to go back to get it.  Once her coat was on and she went out to the landing, he handed her the bag, looking more than a little forlorn.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can give you a ride down today,” he mumbled, looking a little embarrassed.  “My stomach isn’t quite settled enough for that.”

“Oh, that’s all right, I’ll be fine.  Thank you anyway.”

For a moment they stood in an awkward silence on the landing, wondering how to say goodbye.  Kagome hated to leave Inu-Yasha alone, for he looked so sad at the thought of being by himself again.  But she couldn’t go back on her promise to her mother, especially after all Mama Higurashi had done for her to help Inu-Yasha.  Scuffing the toe of her shoe on the floor, she finally said, “Well, I really need to be go—“

She was abruptly cut off in a fierce embrace when Inu-Yasha pulled her forward, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her shoulder.

“Thank you, Kagome…” he murmured in her surprised silence.  “Thank you for giving me a Christmas.  I haven’t had one in so long…”

Slowly, Kagome returned the gesture,  taken aback by such an open display of emotion.  She said nothing in reply, for it seemed that her touch was enough for the demon.

At last, after several moments they finally pulled apart, both a little embarrassed.  Picking up her bag, which she had dropped during the embrace, she turned and walked over to the stairwell.  “Goodbye, Inu-Yasha,” she said.  “Take care of yourself today, and I should be back tomorrow.  Do you want me to bring a plate of leftovers back from dinner tonight?  Mama is an excellent cook…”

He nodded slowly, looking a little pensive.  “Sure.  That sounds great.”

Smiling at him, she finally turned and started to walk down the stairs.

As he watched her leave, he felt an odd surge of loneliness sweep over him once again, and when it did, realization finally hit him in the head like a ton of bricks.  Out of nowhere it seemed to come, but the feeling was strong enough that it made him call out Kagome’s name, stopping  her before she had made it more than five steps.

“Kagome, wait!”

She turned around in surprise, seeing him standing at the top of the stairs with an odd expression on his face.  “What is it, Inu-Yasha?  Are you all right?”

“I… I think I figured it out.  The right reason…”

Kagome nearly dropped her bag when she heard him say those words; not only where they completely out of the blue, but they were something she had not expected to hear for a very long time to come.  Slowly, she climbed back up the stairs to stand in front of him, hardly daring to speak.  “…Yes?”

Inu-Yasha stared intensely at her, seeming to be a little short of breath as the implications of his realization made themselves known.  “I… I’m tired of it all, Kagome.  I’m tired of living my life in a daze.  But I never realized, until you came along, how much I was missing out on because of my drinking.  Before, I was perfectly content to spend all my days downing glass after glass of booze on my couch while things went on around me.  Everybody left me alone, nobody bothered me, and I thought that was all I needed.”  He didn’t notice how intently Kagome was listening to him, for he seemed to be overwhelmed by his realization.

“But when you showed up at the Tap that one night and took me home, that’s when things started to change.  It took me a little while, but I started to understand how much I wanted you there with me.  The only problem was…” He paused and shook his head, running his fingers through his hair in embarrassment.  “I was always too drunk to remember the next day what it felt like spending an evening with you.  It’s this damn drink that keeps me from recalling how nice it is to just sit and watch TV together, or what it feels like when you let me fall asleep in your lap.  Sure, I remember that I liked it, but I don’t remember just what exactly it’s like.  And dammit, Kagome, I hate thinking about all those wasted nights we’ve spent together that I don’t remember, all because I couldn’t hold off on the booze.”

“And then there’s the fact that, because I’m always so full of whiskey, we can never do anything together!  We can’t go out, we can’t go on assignments, we can’t do anything, and it’s because I can’t control my drinking!  I know you don’t mean to hurt me, but the thought of not being able to join you and your family for Christmas dinner because I’m an alcoholic…  It hurts…”  He hung his head, his voice growing a little choked.

“I was so lonely last night, Kagome…” he said softly.  “I wanted so badly to spend Christmas Eve with you.  But I couldn’t because of my drinking.  So I went over to Sango and Miroku’s, hoping to get invited in, and they did.  But I chickened out, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to last the entire night without a drink.  And you saw when you came over that I didn’t make it much longer after that before I was soused.”

Suddenly, he brought his head up to stare fiercely at her, his gaze strong.  “It’s gotta end, Kagome.  I can’t keep going through life regretting everything that’s happened.  I want to be able to celebrate holidays with everyone.  I want to be able to enjoy our time together and remember it the next day.  Dammit, I just want to be happy again!”

Panting heavily, he fixed her with his amber eyes that were brighter than she had ever seen them before.  “I think it’s about time that I deserve to be happy, don’t you?  And I’m not gonna be happy unless I quit drinking.  So, with that said, let me try this one more time.”

Taking a deep breath, he stood up straight and stared down at her.  “Because I want to enjoy my time with you…  Because I want to be truly happy…  Kagome, will you help me quit drinking?”

Her lip beginning to quiver as tears of joy streamed down her cheeks, she dropped her bag and leapt forward, crushing him in a powerful embrace.  “Yes…  Yes, I will…” she said, over and over into his chest as he squeezed her back.  “You figured it out… You actually figured it out…”

“Because of you, Kagome.” 

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There you have it.  The moment we all were waiting for.  Now the real fun begins…

Thanks for reading, and please, leave a review and let me know what you think!