Wow!  This was a perfect mix of descriptive sentences and dialogue!  Wonderful job!  I especially loved the part where you have Kagome very quickly sum up the truth of her "illnesses".  It gives off the feeling of being tired and being rushed at the same time, which is exactly how Kagome must be feeling.  It was also very well written.

I'm a writer myself, and I also wrote my two stories because the ideas were getting in the way of my novel, so I can entirely relate you there.  Sitting at the computer, trying to type my book and then suddenly "what if Inuyasha did this?  What if that happened instead...?"  Anyway, good luck with the book, but beware this fanfiction writing...it gets addicting.

Ten again!